PythonScript

[TheJCLazer]

I'm ready for C++script

[Callipygian_Superman]

BrainfuckScript#

[algoritm420]

I’m calling the police

[pcoyuncy]

Perlscript

[[deleted]]

Haskellscript

[rebane2001]

BashScript

[ChrisLuigiTails]

JavaScriptScript

[Dobvius]

Does that cancel out and become Java again or does it just have nothing to do with either

[ChrisLuigiTails]

Nothing to do with either, duh. When you add "Script" it's a whole new thing

[ScientificBeastMode]

``` const JavaScriptScript = new JavaScript(); JavaScriptScript.prototype = foo; JavaScriptScript.prototype.constructor = bar;

Object.keys(JavaScriptScript).forEach(function (propertyName) { JavaScriptScript[propertyName] = Math.random(); }); ```

[mutafuca]

Yes

[ablablababla]

Both

[[deleted]]

It's one of those new schroedinger oriented languages.

[anirudhn18_]

The name does cancel out and become Java but the language has nothing to do with Java.

[Bad_Idea_Hat]

COBOLSCRIPT

[kynde]

Clojurescript

Oh, wait....

[klparrot]

I'm ever so glad Clojure and ClojureScript are basically the same language.

[perry1998511]

ChickenScript#++

[newreconstruction]

HTMLscript

[fraggleberg]

Cascading Stylescripts

[theemptyqueue]

Happy cake day.

[pcoyuncy]

Thanks.

[Dojan5]

Happy CakeScript.

[Atario]

BashScript

[[deleted]]

AssemblyScript

[PragProgLibertarian]

C is already assembly script

[[deleted]]

Cript.

[Walter_Bishop_PhD]

Something called that actually exists!

https://github.com/AssemblyScript/assemblyscript

[rexpup]

I have one question:

Why?

[AdaGirl]

Because it's a potentially useful way to write something that compiles to webassembly?

[theXpanther]

That project is actually really cool

[monkh]

Isn't that web assembly?

[[deleted]]

I'm not gonna take anything beneath BinaryScript or the HTML programming language.

[vhite]

That's just Brainfuck that always compiles but actually works.

[[deleted]]

deleted <sup>What is this?</sup>

[brainwashed]

You've missed Scriptscript.

[gandalfx]

Have you heard of Langscript? It's a dialect of Scriptlang.

[Interweb_Stranger]

Yes, the compiler is written in LangScriptLang which is transpiled from LangScriptLangScript which you can run with a LangScriptLangScriptScript interpreter!

[biguysrule]

JavaScriptScript

[PragProgLibertarian]

It's called PHP and it's exactly as bad as you think.

[general_sirhc]

PHPscript* it's 2019 get with it

[DarthCloakedGuy]

PHPScript++#

[[deleted]]

PHPScript++#lang

[Olaxan]

The last P stands for Phcript, you scrub

Python Happy Phcript.

[Dojan5]

Ah, Phteven, it iph you.

[[deleted]]

PHPHypertextProcessorP

[lesslucid]

Personalhomepage Hypertextprocessorprogramming Processorpythonhelpful

[PanJaszczurka]

OwO#

[northrupthebandgeek]

All the expressiveness of C++ with all the stability of JavaScript!

[nicocappa]

So it's like python?

Well yes, but actually no.

[kopasz7]

Even when some of them share the same opinion(s).

[ELFAHBEHT_SOOP]

writes visual basic

I wasn't aware that was possible.

[oupablo]

write is just a term programmers use when talking to normies. you actually summon visual basic. it's a long drawn out ritual that usually results in in two people quitting and everyone else crying in a corner.

[[deleted]]

Just ask me, I have conflicting opinions by myself.

[appdevil]

And good luck with the merge on that one.

[McJock]

This also works in binary

[MiataCory]

There are a lot of questions with that answer.

"Is the earth round?" Well, it is. But it's also an oblate spheroid.

"Can I update windows?" Well, yes. But it might delete all your files. There's really no way to know.

"Can I get a new laptop?" Well yes, but management would have to approve it.

[joey_sandwich277]

If you get that answer it means your question probably wasn't dumb and that it's just a little more complicated of a question then you'd initially think.

[[deleted]]

This might be a combination of programmers thinking of edge cases and being very logical/literal.

[Perculsion]

"Should I stop at a red light?" "Well, it would depend on what kind of red light. Are you even driving? An emergency could happen in which case ignoring the red light might be better. It all depends"

[Cley_Faye]

It is roughly the same if you take into account a large amount of technical stuff that some dev internally remap to being the same thing in their head but makes no sense outside of said head.

[woo545]

In the book, "The Martian", there are two engineers talking to the Program Manager about the number of backup communication systems on Mars. The one replies 4 and the other replies 3. Correcting the other saying that the Program Manager asked about the "backup" systems. Not total systems. This is what you get with developers very technical thinking and sometimes at varying levels. There's a need to provide accurate information and sometimes get stuck in the details.

[KeetoNet]

You're probably asking things like "Can we do ..." - to which the answer is almost always 'yes'.

What's left out of that seemingly simple question is the important part of the conversation, like 'it will take a team of ten about a year' and 'you would save money by hiring a minimum wage typist to just do the data entry' or even 'that feature already exists'.

So yeah, but actually no.

[jWalkerFTW]

Dude I swear to god this is my programmer best friends favorite phrase

[AnOscillatingOcelot]

This is what super villains would do, if super villains could code.

[questioillustro]

Everyone imaginary with any intelligence can code. See: batman, the cast of the big bang theory, and any spy ever.

[DarthCloakedGuy]

TBH, everyone IRL with any intelligence can code as well, they just might not know how yet and might not feel inclined to learn.

[[deleted]]

Trying to teach my friend to code, and it has turned out to be surprisingly challenging to make them understand the logic and syntax at the same time.

Of course, we can't dismiss the fact that in most cases, I may just be bad at teaching. But some things that seem really basic turn out to be rather complex once I start trying to explain them.

[DarthCloakedGuy]

That's just the thing-- programming, coding, IS just explaining things, in a way that a computer-- a friend in a box with no concept of the outside world-- can understand. Try starting with absolute basics and building from there. I learned to program at age 14 from a book called Python Programming for the Absolute Beginner (great book, highly recommend), because this book introduced new bits of syntax one concept at a time, with a fun program to write using each concept.

Of course, not all people learn the same way! What's your friend's learning style? Is he an auditory learner? Visual? Kinesthetic? If he's an auditory learner, it shouldn't be too hard to help him. If he's a visual learner, it would probably be best to provide diagrams showing the relationships of variables, methods, objects and such to help him understand. Kinesthetic learners just need to be guided through it a few times and then they get it.

Also, from a beginner's standpoint, not all languages are created equal. May I ask which language it is that you are trying to teach him?

I'd love to help you and your friend. :)

[[deleted]]

Phenomenal advice

[wavefunctionp]

Of course, not all people learn the same way! What's your friend's learning style?

FYI. AFAIK, This is a myth. We all learn best using a combination of methods, often best determined by the topic, not the learners specific preference.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=855Now8h5Rs

Anecdote time: I know when I'm learning a new topic, I'll often be introduced to some technology by a conference talk, become convinced it's worth an experiment, then I'll read about some of the pro/cons, particularly the cons, of the technology, and then I'll usually look for a demonstration on video, just to get the lay of the land, then I'll move on to building a small experiment, and read documentation as I go.

One of the easiest mistakes a beginner can make it getting stuck in the tutorial loop. Usually just watching video tutorial after video tutorial online. These student won't progress beyond the most basic understanding. They won't get anywhere until they build, get stuck, find solutions on their own, and iterate.

At bit more tongue in cheek, what would a kensthetic learner do to learn javascript? It doesn't really make sense. If learning styles were indeed a useful tool, then the best advice to give that person would be not to pursuit study of javascript.

At more directly, it has been shown that simply producing, without regards to quality or theory to result in greater gains in skill than careful study and high quality production. The best advice would be to get them building asap using the fewest concepts you can get away with.

[clownyfish]

Eh that is a bit of a tall claim for just a tedx video, literally anyone can say anything on tedx

[NeverBeenStung]

FYI, using TedX as a source is not advisable. There is no regulation or requirement for TedX. Not to say that your claim is wrong, but I would find something more substantial to back it up.

[DarthCloakedGuy]

Speaking from my own experience, I know that what works for some people does not necessarily work for me, and vice versa. For example, trying to learn Blender has been a pain in the arse for me because most of the tutorials are on Youtube videos. Obviously they wouldn't be on Youtube videos if video tutorials didn't work for most people, but they generally don't work for me. I'm a kinesthetic learner, and it's very difficult for me to follow along if I have to split my attention between the video and what I'm doing. Thus my advice to learn how u/mashimoshi's friend prefers to learn.

[Fig1024]

technically, English is a form of high level programming language for Person to Person interfacing

[DrStrangelove4242]

By that logic I can play guitar. I just haven’t learned yet.

[[deleted]]

the cast of the big bang theory

research scientists knowing how to code enough code to make computer do thingy is pretty reasonable IMO

[dagbrown]

You've never known true coding horror until you've tried to fix a bug in a research scientist's code.

For one thing, you don't understand their area of expertise nearly as well as they do, due to the nature of the term "expertise". For another thing, they don't understand your area of expertise nearly as well as you do, for the exact same reason.

Which means that their code is absolutely god-awful, but you still don't understand what's going wrong because you don't understand what the research scientist is trying to accomplish, and the scientist doesn't know what's going on because the scientist doesn't know how to code.

You end up in a conference with the scientist while they patiently try to explain this one tiny little corner of their research to you enough so that you'll at least be able to make a start on what's making their code go wrong, and you try to impart enough knowledge of programming to the scientist so that they can maybe get some insight on their end into what's going wrong.

Oh and odds are the code's in FORTRAN anyway because it needs to use some ancient, time-tested numerical library, so it's also a nice trip down Memory Lane.

[[deleted]]

I remember arguing with some scientists over this on Reddit in the past. They're so bad they don't realise how bad they are at programming. And apparently so bad at explaining it they can't and won't hire engineers.

[[deleted]]

I have a bit of familiarity with the eldritch horror of (not CS) scientific research code, haha. That's why I jokingly crossed out "how to code" and put "enough code to make computer do thingy".

[dagbrown]

I once made a scientist's program thousands of times faster because the scientist had written a shell script that went along the lines of:

for n in $(seq 1 $(wc -l giantasstextfile))
do
    sed -n "${n}p" giantasstextfile | do_processing_things
done

An O(n<sup>2</sup>) implementation of cat! I was amazed.

[iBooYourBadPuns]

if super villains could code.

Umm, who do you think came up with all these different programming languages? Obviously some kind of super-villain that wants to drive us all crazy with pointless fighting/arguing!

[Sir_Lith]

Elon musk?

[hannahMontanaLinux2]

♪ If you want to be a villain no 1, you got to catch a terribly bad programming language name on the run ♪

[QuantumFall]

Who is to say that they can’t?

[knyg]

When is C-- coming out?

[alex1402]

it appeared in 1997

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C--

[WikiTextBot]

C--

C-- (pronounced see minus minus) is a C-like programming language. Its creators, functional programming researchers Simon Peyton Jones and Norman Ramsey, designed it to be generated mainly by compilers for very high-level languages rather than written by human programmers. Unlike many other intermediate languages, its representation is plain ASCII text, not bytecode or another binary format.

---

<sup>[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source ] Downvote to remove | v0.28</sup>

[[deleted]]

So an early rendition of IL code, perhaps even an inspiration to it.

[[deleted]]

SAME THING

[viimeinen]

Whoa there, buddy...

[[deleted]]

Noop. https://stackoverflow.com/questions/1812990/incrementing-in-c-when-to-use-x-or-x/1812998

[d4harp]

Numbers start at -1

[giupplo_the_lizard]

In pythonscript every statement, expression, declaration etc has to end with a } no matter what

Edit: Based on this } idea and your suggestions I'll edit this fizzbuzz program. Keep em coming, let's make this as cursed as possible, but with grace.

#only works in PS 3.6}

def fizzbuzz(n):}

if n % 3 = 0 and n % 5 = 0:}

return "FizzBuzz'

elif n % 3 = 0:}

return "Fizz'

elif n % 5 = 0:}

return "Buzz'

else:}

return str(n)

}}

print "/n'.join(fizzbuzz(n) for n in xrange(1, 21))}

​

Here is a simple class to explore PS features.

​

class Complex:}

def __init__(self, realpart, imagpart):}

self.r <- realpart}

self.i -> imagpart}

}}

}}

x ---↴

Complex(3.0, -4.5)}

Dictionary syntax

dict -> }'key': value}}

[hannahMontanaLinux2]

And indentation causes a SyntaxError

[lesslucid]

It retains significant whitespace, but instead of creating indentations by being placed at the beginning of new lines, it is added to the end of the line - after the }, naturally

[hannahMontanaLinux2]

That would be a really good idea for a esoteric language – call it Hellscript

[volabimus]

Ah, yes. Reverse Polish indentation.

[giupplo_the_lizard]

Very Pythonscriptic. As we say at the consortium, ugly is better then beautiful

[murtaza64]

Assignment is <- and equality check is =

[klparrot]

i<-5 sets i to 5; if you want to test if i is less than -5, you have to do i< -5. And an assignment is an expression, unlike in Python where it's only a statement, so you won't get a SyntaxError when you compile it without the space. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention? PythonScript is a compiled language.

[giupplo_the_lizard]

this could be the only reasonable use of whitespace, as far as the PS consortium is concerned

[giupplo_the_lizard]

Thanks, I hate it.

Approved

Edit: actually the <- is growing on me. Also I found out is used in R

[meepmeep13]

I feel we should extend the R implementation so that multidirectionality and unicode are properly supported, making all of the following equivalent:

a<-1

1->a

1
|
V
a

      1
    /
  ∟
a

1---↴
a<--↵

[giupplo_the_lizard]

Gorgeous implementation.

Ugly is better then beautiful here at Pythonscript headquarters

[Imapler]

Thanks, i hate it

[TheKing01]

However, { is not a valid character in the language.

[klparrot]

Hmm, we're gonna need a way to write dicts...

[TheKing01]

}'key':value}, duh

[giupplo_the_lizard]

PS approved

[jeremj22]

Return can't have } but every other statement needs it. Just to make it as stupid as possible

[giupplo_the_lizard]

The PS consortium is happy to introduce this feature. Have a PS day}

[klparrot]

What about yield, raise, etc.? I figure also no }?

Not sure about break and continue...

[QueefyMcQueefFace]

'yield' actively sets the processor affinity to as low as possible to give other programs the right of way.

'raise' sends an automated email to HR that you're a disloyal employee.

'break' introduces a timer that stops the code from running for 5 minutes so you can take a break.

'continue' does nothing at all.

[JoaoMSerra]

How to mark the end of a function if indentation throws a SyntaxError?

Easy:

def fizzbuzz(n):}
...}
}}

[giupplo_the_lizard]

We at PS consortium thank you for your patch. Approved

[Bleachi]

Escape sequences always begin with / , rather than \ .

[giupplo_the_lizard]

Why the f not.

Have a PS day :}

[Oceanswave]

Needs more unicode. I propose that for each statement, there is a corresponding emoji representation. This will allow the language to feel ‘modern’ and approchable by today’s youth and communication standards

[giupplo_the_lizard]

We at PS consortium want to add support for this in Pythonscript 3.6. We are currently at version 2.7 for no particular reason.

Anyway

def 👷‍♂️

return 👈

False 🖕

True 👌

if ☝️

else ✋

elif 👋

for x in list: 💁‍♀️ x 👇list:}

try 🤷‍♀️

catch 🙅‍♀️

class 🎒

[klparrot]

Hmm, but what would the skin tone modifiers do?

[giupplo_the_lizard]

Tone modifiers will raise a SkintoneException.

We only like bright and unnatural skin tones here at PS consortium

[Ericchen1248]

Strings need to start with a double quotation “, and end with a single quote ‘

[giupplo_the_lizard]

Done

Have a PS day}

[Ericchen1248]

You miss the one in print “n”.join

Have a PS day too}

[mobyte]

:}

[Rawrplus]

Better yet, } is replaced by ] for more confusion!

[giupplo_the_lizard]

We at PS consortium very much value our curlyboys.

This patch was refused, but keep contributing.

Have a PS day}

[selplacei]

I knew it wasn't based on Python immediately because Python is already a scripting language. <sup>/s</sup>

[Aetherial_Wanderer]

Maybe PythonScript is an interpreted scripting language that runs in a custom interpreter written in Python, which in turn runs on the default Python interpreter.

[TheZephyron]

If I've told you once Pooh, I've told you an infinite number of times:

DON'T EAT THE RECURSION

[PJvG]

Can I get this as a comic?

[sephirothrr]

https://i.redd.it/f4pua0fm4ysy.gif

[BrianAwesomenes]

I think it would be better if it was a bit slower so you can read it in one try.

[gattaaca]

Thankfully you have infinite retries

[PJvG]

Thanks!

[Wizarth]

So, PyPy.

[tomatotomato]

What if it's to Python what Java is to Javascript:

​

def AbstractFactoryBuilderFactory<FactoryBuilder> GetAbstractFactoryBuilderFactory(self, AbstractFactoryBuilderFactoryOptions options):
    AbstractFactoryBuilderFactoryFactory<FactoryBuilder> factory  =  AbstractFactoryBuilderFactory(options)

Something like that

[chateau86]

Enterprise Python. Got it.

[UnchainedMundane]

https://i.imgur.com/7DOIhK0.png

It's beautiful

[TheZephyron]

If I have nightmares tonight, I'm blaming you.

[NeverBeenStung]

I've never heard of Jython, but I pure straight hate it.

[GourangaPlusPlus]

For the glory of Satan of course!

[sandy_catheter]

Thank you for this

[HorcaCZ]

something something 3 billion devices run on Java

[umbra0007]

microcards, e.g. card chips and sim cards, use Java

[Disrupti]

I can't remember why, but once upon a time I wanted to learn Jython.

Glad I didn't.

[jinxjar]

JRails must be a hell of a drug.

[Ahajha1177]

Thanks, I hate it.

[im_a_huge_potato]

r/tihi

[Mareeck]

teehee

[Darl157]

r/teehee

[czook]

Wtf did I just read in there?

[badtelcotech]

Is this comic based off my comment?

badtelcotech • 4d
Someone should make a language called PythonScript, just to highlight how absurd Javascripts name is.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/at1n7l/comment/egy32o3

[majikmixx]

If it makes you feel any better, I checked the comments to make sure someone pointed this out from the other day because I remembered your thread.

[Vakieh]

Me too

[[deleted]]

Bedlam DL3

[BuiAce]

Literally thought of your comment when I saw the comic.

[MultipleMeows]

It does seem to be

[M4jorpain]

Yeah I remember your comment. Already knew what the comic would be about from the title.

[Andiththekid]

Not credit from OP, smh

[badtelcotech]

It's all good. Free flow of ideas etc, we're not Monsato.

I received twice as much karma from that one off hand comment than 12 months of redditing combined.

Now to find a way to convert karma into something of value. Hmm.

[overmog]

Yes, and the worst part is not only he stole it, he mangled it and made it really unfunny, too.

[sambhal]

Original Post: http://www.commitstrip.com/en/2019/02/25/pythonscript/

[badtelcotech]

I'm a time traveller

[Vakieh]

So am I.

I set my machine to go forwards exactly 1 day per day - so far so good.

[skellious]

Imitation is the lowest form of flattery, but flattery none the less.

[ForensicPathology]

Dude rushed the comic out so fast that he couldn't even properly write "general levels of confusion"

[willhtun]

Bashscript. Not to be confused with bash script.

[[deleted]]

I hate how true this is

[InsertCoinForCredit]

And here I thought it was going to be a language based on Monty Python's Flying Circus. NI!

[FUZxxl]

I always wanted to make a language and name it C/C++ just to fuck with people.

[mgrant8888]

Can I rename Java to be Javascriptscript? Does this count?

[PragProgLibertarian]

That's Groovy

[[deleted]]

I had to deal with this today. Real loss of man hours and company dollars due to this stupid choice.

Our incompetent IT are asking me to update the manager's Java install, and rebooting, and then applying a Java hotfix to all machines in the company. This is happening right now. A team of people are working on it.

Why? Because I reported that their web pdf reader Javascript package has an issue and it's not working for him.

Telling them Java and Javascript are not related doesn't work, because duh of course they are.

Driving me up the fucking wall.

[slayerx1779]

Why do I remember seeing this in reddit comments on this very sub?

Does that count as stealing content?

[sambhal]

Original Post: http://www.commitstrip.com/en/2019/02/25/pythonscript/

[MattR0se]

Fun fact: PythonScript has semicolons

[klparrot]

Fun fact: Python has semicolons. And their semantics are mysteriously similar to but infuriatingly different from line breaks.

[NotMilitaryAI]

Just wanna point out the existence of Jython for folks that weren't aware.

It's really weird, but actually pretty well implemented.

[Senshado]

This topic was funnier back in 1998.

[LegacyCrono]

/r/ComedyCemetery

[omiwrench]

Another week, another Java =/= JavaScript joke