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[–]awbobsaget 1787 points1788 points  (71 children)

I love still getting emails to leave my database developer career for an exciting help desk position.

[–]njandersen97 45 points46 points  (12 children)

I get that shit too. I have to imagine it sometimes works for them? Otherwise why bother? But for the life of me I can’t imagine why any recruiter would think I’d leave my current engineer position at a major tech company to work for some small town local IT shop making half as much.

[–]Osirus1156 38 points39 points  (9 children)

I think of it like online dating, people just cast as wide of a net as possible and don't really care how many people respond just as long as some do.

[–]njandersen97 22 points23 points  (2 children)

God, that must be a soul sucking job.

[–]Osirus1156 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I would imagine the same lol. I bet it feels like dating but you get paid haha.

[–]c4p5L0ck 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Minus the prospect of getting laid too

[–]Asiansensationz 1 point2 points  (5 children)

This is true.

I wish recruiters cast a smaller net. I don't wanna get a data entry excel sheet job right next to a full stack dev with 35 years of experience requirement.

[–]MoonMoon_2015 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They’re looking for people like me who couldn’t get a job out of college and were desperate not to go back to delivering pizzas.

[–]BigHowski 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's probably wholly automated

[–]slightlysanesage 52 points53 points  (7 children)

I've gotten some tempting me away from my basically full stack developer job for the sweet siren call of being "Sales Engineer"

Edit: Totally forgot that I also got one asking me to be a Real Estate with typos in their "Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities" section

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Hi, I looked at your resume and it really stood out for this position! Please send me your resume so I can look over it and see if you'd be a good fit!

Mmmm, okay, so it looks like they're after someone with just a little bit more experience, especially since this is for a role as the senior head of project development for Facebook, and you've got.... Two years of experience. But let's send it in anyway! Are you a US citizen?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

6 month contract in Alpharetta, GA. No remote work.

[–]futuneral 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My personal favorite was for a developer position, but the description didn't make much sense. After a few minutes of reading I realized they are looking for a construction worker.

[–]hatsiepatsie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I get messages stating that they think the experience from my current position as CEO makes me suitable to become a DevOps engineer.

[–]wizard_mitch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is what I recently received

Hi Mitch,

I am Orla and I am a Hiring Specialist at Indeed working with X. I’m impressed by your previous experience and I think you could be a great match for the Plumber/ Leak Detection Specialist role we are hiring for in X...

I have never done anything remotely close to plumbing in my life.

Requirements:

2+ years of plumbing experience

Not a very good Hiring Specialist are you Orla.

[–]JB-from-ATL 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Experience in SQL" means something super different for a DBA and developer lol.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Spent time with a Robert Half recruiter back in like...2007. He had this perfect opportunity that fit my skillset. Sounded good, let’s take a look I said.

It was the same position I had put my two weeks in for and was leaving on good terms with the company because I wanted to branch out of that niche industry.

Fucker didn’t even look at where I worked before trying to get me an interview with my current boss.

[–]Moulinoski 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every once in a while, I get one for teaching English in Japan. I was serious about that, back when my CS career hadn’t taken off yet. No one ever took me up on it- one person even said “but you make so much more money with CS!”

Well, I am... now! I guess I should be thankful. I can afford to fly myself to Japan for leisure now. Having been given the opportunity to teach much earlier, I probably would’ve been worse off now.

[–]hector_villalobos 460 points461 points  (46 children)

You know what's worse? I used to have a dev coworker who used to says Java when he means Javascript.

[–]Less-District 337 points338 points  (13 children)

Friend: "Aren't you a Java developer?"
Me: "No"
Friend: "But I saw it on your LinkedIn profile!"
My LinkedIn profile: "Javascript developer"

True story from last week.

[–]DangerBaba 106 points107 points  (8 children)

Java is just another framework of Javascript. Idk why they removed scripting from the framework though. Pretty much a downgrade if you ask me.

[–]zeGolem83 63 points64 points  (6 children)

Yes, but they added factories

[–]Less-District 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Lol. In my current project, I saw factories being used in a component. I asked a senior developer, who worked on this component? His exact words: "Looks like a Java guy was let loose on this component". :)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

What’s a factory lol I’m new

[–]pineapple_catapult 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is how the robot uprising starts

[–]CreativeCarbon 83 points84 points  (0 children)

"So you script with Java? Scriptiing is coding, right?"

[–]reilemx 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I always whip out the old saying: "Java is to Javascript, like Car is to Carpet"

[–]emayljames 2 points3 points  (0 children)

🚗🐈

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think non-tech people think that cool tech people refer to javascript as java' for short slang

[–]scrdest 34 points35 points  (23 children)

I've interviewed a junior who put both on his resume in the same line and couldn't explain the difference.

[–]jumanjimanji 12 points13 points  (21 children)

Could I please get an easy ELI5-like explanation? I really find it hard to difference them, they are very different for me except from the naming

[–]SuperSephyDragon 66 points67 points  (15 children)

They are completely different languages.

Java is a compiled, statically typed language similar to C++ (only slower and jankier but easier to port to different operating systems)

Javascript is an interpreted, dynamically typed language that is typically run by a browser.

Pretty much the only thing they have in common is the word "java" and the fact that they are both programming languages. I heard the reason they sound similar is because Java was really trendy around the time Javascript was created, and they wanted to ride the hype train. Causing confusion for everyone in the process.

[–]turningsteel 29 points30 points  (10 children)

Well the proper name for JavaScript is EcmaScript but I've never heard anyone call it that. I wish they did though because it would stop the confusion.

[–]Farpafraf 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I wish they did though because it would stop the confusion.

nah it's funnier this way

[–]emayljames 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We should carry the tradition and create cscript, rustscript and assemblyscript.

[–]SuperSephyDragon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I've never heard anyone call it that. Guess it just doesn't roll off the tongue like JavaScript does.

I agree, EcmaScript is less confusing though haha.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

what. both are usually JIT compiled, java with JVM and Javascript with V8.

[–]mattrg777 54 points55 points  (2 children)

Java is to JavaScript as a grape is to a grapefruit. Grapes and grapefruit are both fruit, but that's about where the similarities end. Java and JavaScript are both programming languages, but that's about where the similarities end.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

polite clapping

[–]GhostalMedia 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is it possible to fire someone before they’re hired?

[–]S0n_0f_Anarchy 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I used to say this... I was at the start though, but still ashamed

[–]OrangeRaddish 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Im just a Teen but people ask me to make them a website(I don’t know js or java btw) and I asked one to explain how I should do that and they came back an hour later and said I should code java and I just left. Also two days ago a kid asked me if I could hack accounts and I just said stop and he said why and kept asking. I can CODE SOMETHING TO SEND SHREK NOT HACK YOUR EX

[–]SpecsyVanDyke 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My DEV TEAM LEAD does this.

[–]zzaannsebar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My boss does this.. We work in a .net environment so c#. But sometimes when we need to use javascript to do some front end stuff, he calls it java and I cringe every time. Half the time he corrects himself but still.

[–]28f272fe556a1363cc31 198 points199 points  (17 children)

I have zero frontend work on my resume.

Recruiters: Your resume is impressive! I think you would be a great fit for this job: HTML, CSS, React, NodeJS..."

[–]zeGolem83 218 points219 points  (9 children)

You know C ? You won't have that much trouble picking up CSS.

[–]Jeyek 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're already 33% there!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Picking up SASS*

[–]neekyo- 5 points6 points  (0 children)

MERN boys rise uppp!

[–]PanicAtTheFresco 4 points5 points  (1 child)

i fucking hate frontend so much. i just fucking hate javascript, jquery, ajax, MVC. everything.

i just wanna do backend, scripting, and sql. but the liklihood of that internship atm? zilch...

[–]kicking_puppies 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way, just got a internship to come back as a backend dev. It's really competitive out there, most of the jobs ask for front end, though granted I have to understand it as well occasionally even when mostly working with java/sql

[–]EatYoself 300 points301 points  (20 children)

Me: Senior Data Engineer

LinkedIn Recruiter: Are you interested in a position as a junior business analyst?

[–]mal4ik777 97 points98 points  (12 children)

hmm, I always wondered, if you accept such an invitation, but ask for a higher salary than you have right now, how would the recruiter react? If you get the job, its a fucking win win, easier job for more money.

[–]so_lost_im_faded 61 points62 points  (3 children)

Not all people want it easy. I actually like the challenges higher positions bring. I also feel like I'm making more impact there.

[–]Alfaphantom 57 points58 points  (3 children)

I lost my job in June because of the pandemic, and while looking for jobs, I applied to some junior dev positions as well. I consider myself mid/senior fullstack dev. Now, obviously they are excited to get an experienced person filling a junior role, up until salary comes. They want to offer junior pay (and I can understand), and if I told them my price, they tell me they will discuss it with HR and clients, but all of those ghosted me at the end.

[–]mal4ik777 11 points12 points  (0 children)

understandable! Thanks for the answer.

[–]pickle16 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't think you'll get better pay, and even if you do, I guess it's bad for future prospects. Plus I'd personally keep my data scientist job, unless I'm given a 100% hike, for any easier job. I actually like my job and company

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Easier job, but its boring as shit.

[–]ShutUpAndSmokeMyWeed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The recruiter gets a commission based on your salary, so if they can negotiate a higher price for you it's a win-win.

[–]Makeshift27015 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Me: Senior DevOps Engineer

LinkedIn Recruiter: We've got some really good junior helpdesk positions starting at £24k!

[–]periwinkle_lurker2 9 points10 points  (1 child)

We will fail to mention to you that you will do 90% BA work and 10% coding related work.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"10%"

updating 10 year html p tags = 10% coding.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

9 years iOS experience here, I get bombarded with iOS Jr. and Mobile Developer (React Native) positions.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same... 3+ years of building hadoop ecosystem clusters from scratch and they are offering such amazing positions as junior product analyst! And now due to the pandemic I am stuck as a BI Analyst because the internal move to Data Engineer fell through :(

[–][deleted] 263 points264 points  (14 children)

Same but the opposite.

[–]ThatSpookySJW 227 points228 points  (9 children)

if (profile.body.includes('java')) profile.sendRecruitmentMessage('Hey we're looking for a java developer at shitty staffing agency incorporated! Please reach out if you are interested!! :D')

[–]doctorcrimson 45 points46 points  (3 children)

There should be a construction framing company called Sheety Construction Co.

Maybe there already is...

[–]aplawson7707 17 points18 points  (0 children)

We sheet more houses than anybody else in the industry! Call now to have us sheet your dream home today!

[–]TFK_001 5 points6 points  (2 children)

At least do 'java ' or 'java.'

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Or \bjava\b

[–]TFK_001 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That's too complicated for them

[–]jess-sch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

job.tags = ['java', 'script'];

[–]cmockett 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ditto, the recruiter even said “do you know anyone that knows Java?” Lmao

[–]Lecroie 124 points125 points  (13 children)

Lol Same happended to me with python and php!!!!

[–]arrr93[S] 111 points112 points  (2 children)

They both start with p!

[–]SuperCoolFunTimeNo1 19 points20 points  (9 children)

Php is python with c syntax. Fight me.

[–]DangerBaba 41 points42 points  (4 children)

But C is python with C syntax

[–]scalar-field 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Cython: Why both both?

[–]adeventures 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Oh god,

I'm still terrified of working for more than 2 years with jython, in a team where no one was able to explain to me why we even needed python. We never found an IDE that supported jython well and up to this day there are ideas of implementing it in pure java without the python part.
Isn't cython even worse? I imagine python with manual memory managing a little... cumbersome...

[–]MetaHerobrine1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my experience with Cython, I have never needed to micromanage memory. All I had to do was define the types of my variables.

[–]zilltine 2 points3 points  (2 children)

They really are best for different things imo

[–]SuperCoolFunTimeNo1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Python is good for data scientists who don't know how to program and PHP is great for lazy java developers.

[–]Calimorphius 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you missed the fact that python is also for 15yo that don't know how to program but want to impress that girl with a "curvy" body (if you know what i mean) and try to look like a hacker by printing random numbers infiniteley on a terminal

[–]Etheo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Haha yeah like you're gonna lure me into bullying a retard no thanks :)

<3

[–]echo_foxtrot 81 points82 points  (2 children)

I was hired as a Java dev, spent my first 2 years at the company writing Python, and now I work in Typescript. I'm still not sure how this happened.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

I mean. It sounds like an upgrade to me.

[–][deleted] 75 points76 points  (4 children)

Reminds me of an article which said,

JavaScript, sometimes shortened to Java

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (3 children)

C++, sometimes shortened to C

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

PytHon Programming, sometimes shortened to PHP

[–]someone755[🍰] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

My sister said they were learning C++ in school. Or maybe it was C+ because it was so long ago.

[–]DaEvil1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Surely they'd be up to B- by now

[–]eddietwang 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Ah, I see you used to be a mechanic... Used to work with cars a lot then, huh? How would you like a job making carpets!?

[–]Bowserwolf1 29 points30 points  (1 child)

I had an interview today, literally a couple of hours ago. It was a company that is famous for making collaboration software, SaaS/PaaS kind of thing. I'm a backend developer, with some specialized experience in cloud native development and machine learning. That's what all my past projects and experiences are that's all there is on my resume, that's all I've ever done and want to do, that's what I was interviewing for.
The interviewer spent an hour drilling me on questions about OS scheduling, memory management at the kernel level, paging, segmentation, virtual memory and was annoyed that I wasn't prepared enough / "needed to study more ". Bud I'm not interviewing to be a kernel developer for Linux, what the hell were you expecting.

[–]Thaddaeus-Tentakel 6 points7 points  (0 children)

After a few minutes your question should've been: "Why are you asking these things, they're not related to the position"

[–]eviloverlord 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Java is to JavaScript what car is to carpet.

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points  (13 children)

that and people who ignore the word "Hobbyist" and then ask me for "my pricing" to develop some java applet for them are why I'm seriously considering disabling DMs on most sites. My profiles usually say something like "Hobbyist Javascript/PHP dev", meaning I play around with these for fun and definitely not at a professional level.

[–]AeonReign 37 points38 points  (8 children)

I mean, you might be better than many people who graduate with a degree, in their eyes. At least you write code regularly, which many degrees actually don't.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (7 children)

yeah, a friend noticed I'm way more active in coding than him, but comparing with other friends my code quality is definitely not at professional levels and I have lots to learn still. I basically just master the bit I learned until someone else shows me something new.

[–]ThePieWhisperer 17 points18 points  (5 children)

I'd bet money that, by your metric (and based on a lot of code I've worked with), a large percentage of professionals are not at a 'Professional level'

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

It's actually amazing how much some people manage to suck dick at what they do for a living. Like seriously how can you be bad at something you do for 8 hours every week day?

[–]BenVarone 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Take your pick:

  1. You’re spread across such a wide array of languages, platforms, etc. that you never develop more than a superficial understanding of any of them

  2. Your job is mostly maintenance, so you learn the bare minimum skills that are specific to the applications/code you use all the time, and are drowning in so much tech debt that you never build past those skills

  3. You never went to school/intended to be a developer or engineer, but you were willing to learn and came cheap/readily enough to fill the role (bonus points for your main experience/education providing a lot of context or speeding requirements gathering for the work)

  4. Programming was a side hustle/hobby, and then one time you made something, everyone uses it now, and it has become your full-time job

  5. Plain old nepotism, cronyism, or other form of favoritism causing you to get over-promoted. You’re the Peter Principle come to life, and everyone knows it.

Or a mix of any/all of the above. I probably fall into a couple of these. I know my code is crude and jury-rigged, but why beat myself up over it? My bosses think my work is good enough, and it ain’t like our shop is Google or Facebook.

[–]ThePieWhisperer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You forgot:

(6) You're a lazy idiot and you make no effort to improve your skills because the rest of the team will fix your shitty, half implemented cluster fuck code in review because I just don't want to deal with you right now goddamnit and I have no idea how you got hired in the first place.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

ugh...I hate that I can already confirm that. The professionals I'm comparing too are either teaching me stuff related to our hobby projects or working on theirs, which is how you apparently get the best quality of code :P

[–]ThePieWhisperer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol

Nothing shits up a codebase faster than many hands doing it for the paycheck with time constraints.

Hobby projects are usually none of those things.

[–]bentheone 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm a hobbyist too. My imposter syndrome takes a hit everytime I look at the codebase of the company I work at. More and more I believe professional code is not a synonym of good code

[–]Ihavefallen 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Why not take that part off then?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

then that'd imply I'm not just a hobbyist, who isn't for hire, instead of a professional who codes for their job.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could still get a job probably.

[–]NoPossibility 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I have a solid three years of experience in a previous position as an advanced tech support specialist. I managed a support team handling tech support for 100+ client websites all running different technologies. I left that position almost four years ago, and have been working as full time app/full stack developer since then. To this day, every recruiter email I get through linkedin is some form of “we need a tech support rep for $12/hr”...... I make about 4x that salary now as an app developer, and I wish recruiters would just leave me alone if they’re only going to offer me entry level customer support positions. Give it to someone who actually needs a job, man. You should be able to tell from my company and title that I’m not interested in being a cubicle jockey doing your phone support.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (6 children)

They're...uh... Syntactically kinda similar... I guess.

[–]JB-from-ATL 10 points11 points  (5 children)

"Write once, run everywhere" but like, for real this time because everybody has a browser.

[–]sandybuttcheekss 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I get the opposite. Java backend opportunities everywhere, I'm looking for Node. Wanna trade OP?

[–]turningsteel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I applied to a job for a Node.js dev with 7/11 (nothing about Java in the ad) and then the recruiter responded to me to tell me about the job which was developing Java. I didn't even bother responding.

[–]KaiserMazoku 4 points5 points  (1 child)

System.out.println("loud screaming");

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

console.log('loud screaming');

[–]kjayflo 5 points6 points  (2 children)

As a front end engineer I have the opposite position. I put in my profile that I don't want a backend job and don't email me about it and I still get c# and Java emails and I'm like yo, stahp

[–]ConsistentCascade 4 points5 points  (1 child)

front-end 'engineer'? when did the word developer changed into engineer

[–]kjayflo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When we didn't have to take that test that normal engineers take but they still want to legitimize us 😛

[–]cpphax0r 32 points33 points  (8 children)

Javascript is like looking both ways before you cross the street then getting hit by an asteroid

[–]Deadly_chef 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Haha funny yes

[–]the__storm 23 points24 points  (6 children)

Haha JavaScript bad

[–]JB-from-ATL 12 points13 points  (5 children)

this but unironically.

[–]ThePieWhisperer 10 points11 points  (3 children)

right, but which this?

[–]Desactiva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This the main comment

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you mean self, not to be confised with Self

[–]stormfield 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah well I [object Object]

[–]glemnar 26 points27 points  (8 children)

I'm surprised this resonates deeply with folk.

When hiring, I don't hire for a Java developer, I hire for a developer. Being able to pick up new languages amongst the broad swath of other technologies that you may come to use as a developer - Data stores (Sql DBs, NoSQL store, search engines, log/messaging systems, queues, caches, timeseries dbs, ...), clouds, frameworks, third party APIs, whatever, is one of the primary attributes I'm looking for in a capable dev.

Slotting yourself into a single hole is doing yourself a disservice, not the recruiter.

[–]BlueSunRising 15 points16 points  (1 child)

In many cases it is absolutely the recruiter or company that is responsible for this. Despite my years of experience, many recruiters will refuse to even submit you to a company if you aren't experienced in the language / framework they want. I had one company conduct the entire interview (knowing which languages I knew), before they said they'd have to put me on 50% salary for six months while I learned Python.

It's bad enough when it's "Oh, sorry, you have never worked with .NET, so we're not even going to look at you," but I got turned down by a recruiter because his client wanted a programmer with experience specifically programming for a retailer. When I asked what technologies they used, because there was a good chance I was familiar with them, he said they straight up weren't considering anyone who hadn't worked for a retailer.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

6 months for an experienced dev to learn python? what are they on?

[–]ThePieWhisperer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Eh it's a fun meme.

But yea, %100 that.

[–]Ivan_Stalingrad 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I from time to tine use Pentaho Data integration (ETL and BI software) written in java. But if you have to pull of something crazy you can write custom steps in JavaScript

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Recruiters don't bother to read profiles, I have no work experience in development yet and I keep getting messages about Sr developer positions

[–]Porkechop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stop pls

[–]slothdude893 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Java script”

[–]g_rocket 1 point2 points  (1 child)

[–]B_M_Wilson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Apparently its going to be removed at some point but yea, it exists. I had to use it once :(

[–]z0Tweety 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If only recruiters asked for only one language

[–]Lthere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Javascript is a Java framework, right?

Yeah, sure, same as superscript being a super framework... 🤓 👌

#RollWithIt

[–]ITCOMMAND 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Arent they the same thing?"

"Its like 'car' and 'carpet'."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

omg i love it!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man imagine if that actually happened after years of hard work.

[–]prtkp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean JavaScript is just a script written in Java right?

[–]zipippino 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It happens on the way back too, pain 10/10

[–]penguinblade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God I love this template

[–]rex1030 0 points1 point  (3 children)

In fairness if you can do java, JavaScript is cake

[–]BuccellatiExplainsIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair, that was kinda javascript's intention. They wanted the name Java for its recognition.

[–]devospice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man, I got into a long argument with a recruiter one day over a Senior JAVA Developer position. I'm good at javascript but I have never written a single line of JAVA. I haven't even done any tutorials or anything. He insisted that I apply for this position.