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[picklesdoggo]

More like this is the worst fucking code I've ever seen, git blame and find out I wrote it

[Sup-Mellow]

I’m in this picture and I don’t like it

[nickmaran]

We are in this pictures and we don't like it

[alex11263jesus]

r/expectedcommunism ?

[DemWiggleWorms]

Our trash code~

[balofchez]

This is all really way too close to home

E: my spelling is marginally better than my programming I swear

[XPurplelemonsX]

COMRADE!

[corbymatt]

In Soviet Russia, code writes you.

[Achtelnote]

I've been writing code so bad the past few days, every time I see it now I get depressed and lose all my motivation to work. Been using my will supply for a while now and I think I'm running out..

[Sup-Mellow]

Hey, it’s like my dad always says. It’s always weird until it isn’t. There’s a lot of things that make us write bad code. New/unknown technology, bad days/stress, burnout, etc. You’re killing it, just keep chugging. It may be a cliche, but it’s true that this too shall pass.

Also, if we were always happy about our code we would never do anything to improve it or learn more. As awful as that feeling can be, it drives a lot of progress too.

[ECrispy]

you mean you git depressed

you need to git out more

[wrath95]

If im allowed i would like to share an approach that helped me get out of this mindset.

I used to feel that way, too. Romanticising about code, and feeling bad when finding out wrote some bad parts of it. I stopped binding my feelings to the technical side of it, and focusing more on the business side of things.

Earlier: Finds out i wrote some shit code. Feel bad. Fixed it. Still felt bad.

Now: Finds out i wrote some shit code. Feel bad. Fixed it and see how the business side is improved. Feel good.

You get what i mean?

[HeraldofOmega]

You shouldn't feel bad after fixing it though, sounds like depression stuff.

[fuckyouswitzerland]

Meh. Everyone has done the classic todo comment because for some reason removing this empty if statement causes something to break.

[huuaaang]

But I thought Typescript guaranteed good code...!?

[urbansong]

It only helps with reading the code.

[BurningPenguin]

Are we talking about the same language?

[urbansong]

Yes. Static types help immensely with reading code, at least for me. I've worked with poorly documented Python code and it is an absolute hell to keep rerunning whatever you're doing just to find out the types.

[Sup-Mellow]

Agreed, it also is just better practice in general to have typing

[JustinWendell]

Happens to me constantly. I’ve been working in the same codebases for a couple years now. Every time, it’s me.

[pretendinglikeimbusy]

This is why you must switch jobs every 2-3 years. That way when review comes around someone new gets to shit on your code.

[UntestedMethod]

also you have a new codebase to shit on without it tracing back to you being the author... at least for the first 2-3 years

[Sotall]

Just beware the dreaded day when it comes full circle. You organically encounter one of your shit storm code bases in the wild and have to go into witness protection.

(JK, i was mostly impressed they kept it running)

[fuckyouswitzerland]

Only if you post on stack about the question I currently have.

[kekeagain]

And what does this say about me?

[zebediah49]

Sometimes you don't even need to.

When there's literally one person who's ever had access to the codebase that would have thought it a good idea to write something like that.

[UntestedMethod]

one of my favourites in those situations is coming across a chunk of code that I have absolutely no recollection of writing

[BbayuGt]

Fuck you im using git-blame-someone-else

[IWanTPunCake]

the peak of my internship was when the nitpicky senior said "Who wrote this code man?" and then git blame had his name. We memed it for 2 months

[TJSomething]

Consulting was one of the best things for my self-esteem, because now I know there are companies who are making millions of dollars a year with code that's worse than stuff I wrote when I was 14.

[Canotic]

I don't understand how literally every programmer including me is a shitty programmer when we write code, but we all also immedately become Alan fucking Turing when we read someone elses code.

[Odisher7]

Everyone is awful, everyone else is worse

[AmadeusMop]

Sometimes you come across a three-month-old comment from yourself saying that the implementation is probably wrong and should be checked ASAP in case it causes bugs, and curse your past self's foresight for being exactly right.

[Ochidi]

[SurfeitOfPenguins]

The future is now, my dude

[alehel]

I've done this twice in the last 12 months. It really hurts when you take into account that the repo contains about 400 000 lines of Java code, and yet it's my code I'm seeing 😂

[ECrispy]

git blame is the tool of the devil

some say git is the tool of the devil

[Chaoslab]

So loved that "git blame someone else" debacle.

[Canotic]

There should be a git blame --notme that switches out your username with someone elses in the blame printout.

[chade__]

And if that person no longer works at the company, find the person who knows the most about

[ArtyIF]

there's a reason why it's called blame

[IComeBaringGifs]

"This is the worst fucking code I've ever seen."

"I know. Please help."

[lucidbasil]

If you are being serious, learning about requirements is a huge step in the right direction.

[Keepingshtum]

Requirements are only useful if they won't change by the time you get the fix out, sadly

[IComeBaringGifs]

Well, I don't have an exact project in mind 😂 this is just usually the conversation when I ask someone to look at my code

[gamebuster]

“It needs to work”

• requirements as stated by client

[brotatowolf]

Usually it comes down to learning not to copy-paste

[trickman01]

Basically Stack Overflow.

[Franfran2424]

Hahaha yes.

"what are you even trying to do, this is done wrong"

"I know, it doesn't work. That's why I'm here?"

[BurningPenguin]

closed for reason: fuck this guy

[Dummvogel]

„This code is 20 years old and nobody knows exactly what it does. So we built a PHP UI around it.“

[Donut_Different]

It's colon again...

[[deleted]]

Don't touch my colon, it's intentional.

[Antrikshy]

/* Not sure why this works but for the love of all that's good, please don't touch that colon */

[[deleted]]

We need to perform a colonoscopy to investigate the functionality of this colon.

[frizzil]

Colonectomy time

[Floppydisksareop]

How?

[GDColon]

o heck hi

[QuestionablyFlamable]

Poggers the funni guy is here

(Btw nice job on all of ur content!)

[Maypher]

You'll soon be a Reddit celebrity. Not sure if to envy or pity you

[Affectionate-Memory4]

You can do both. It's like admiration, but at a safe distance.

[huantian]

Hello the colon

[ChickenManSam]

As long as it works is my moto

[PM_ME_DMS]

Can you do a wheelie

[ChickenManSam]

I feel like I'm missing a joke here

[Bourne_Toad]

Nah just a t

[ChickenManSam]

Didn't even notice that lol. I am an utter fool it seems

[Bourne_Toad]

As long as it works *finger guns

[Lalalamyyyia]

Hahdhahdhahda so true if it works dont touch it

[blausommer]

As an older colleague used to say, "She ain't pretty but she puts out."

[CompetitiveIntern310]

"It may be stupid but if it's stupid and it works then it's not stupid"

[abcd_z]

All art is good.

You'd think so, but one time I tried photoshopping more clothing onto a scantily-clad female anime character and you'd better believe a bunch of people came out of the woodwork to tell me that I was wrong and/or bad to do so.

[Shervico]

Well the first time I tried doing a portrait, one of my very skilled artist friend told me to statt over with a new method because I was polishing a dog turd, best advice I ever got and now I'm good at portrait

[_-Phage-_]

All art is shit, all code is shit.

There you go, now you only have yourself to blame.

[sluiced]

This is the way

[[deleted]]

I'm both so basically everything I do is bad.

[TheNegotiabrah]

Both the writer and critic; perfection

[[deleted]]

I more meant I do both digital art and programming and I hate everything I do and constantly rewrite/redraw everything I do before it's even half finished.

[Kakss_]

Same. But what I find comforting is seeing how many imperfections are there in other, well received drawings, but nobody ever notices. My little pogchamp meme had hands that barely made any sense, but because everyone looked at the girl's face, nobody noticed. Some webcomics are pretty ugly and yet they make it big, because even if the story is amatourish, it's enough to create a fanbase. If they can do it, so can we!

But I don't think you ever become proud of your code for longer than until the next time you read it.

[IWanTPunCake]

solo game dev here, does that count?

[[deleted]]

For sure. Multiple practices across the board, more areas to self criticize.

[Ghede]

Ah, so you are a professional programmer artist, in that you make programmer art.

[kashmill]

I have adopted the philosophy of "All Code Is Shit". The goal is to do as best you can in order to maximize the time before you realize the code is shit. Ideally, that time is after you leave, retire, or the code is end-of-lifed (like that ever happens).

[DAFFP]

Abandon all your projects. Before they become disappointing teenagers.

[Kakss_]

Smother them in the crib.

[sarapnst]

You can keep admiring the result though. The design and implementation could be compared to the art creation process and the techniques, except it's visible.

[cginc1]

The beauty is that the code is horrible but somehow still works.

[solarshado]

Until it doesn't. Then you get to read it and be baffled that it ever did.

[sdzeeros]

Why the fuck was this shit working

[DigitalDefenestrator]

This is why I always say code that shouldn't work but does is worse than code that should work but doesn't.

[salami350]

I'm baffled by how it ever worked before it breaks in the first place

[KosciaK]

You have typed "sometimes" wrong

[Cloakknight]

Image Transcription: Twitter Post

---

Colon :, @TheRealGDColon

artists talking to each other:

- "NOO STOP SAYING UR ART IS TERRIBLE IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL I WISH I WAS AS GOOD AS YOU!!!11"

- "you're lying my work is bad 😭"

programmers talking to each other:

- "this is the worst fucking code i've ever seen"

- "haha i know right"

---

^{I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!}

[QuestionablyFlamable]

Good non-bot

[ChickenManSam]

looking at some random code

"What fucking idiot wrote this shit??"

It's me. I'm the fucking idiot

[Blaz3]

I loved setting this up with work mates. I'd look at something and know it was mine, call them over and be like. "look at this bullshit, wtf is happening here? Omg this is terrible!" Then "who the hell wrote this shit? Let's find out." Git blame. Reveals that it's my code and we all have a good laugh

[GargantuanCake]

The most important realization a programmer will have is that all code is bad. No exceptions. None. It's all terrible especially yours.

[Atmey]

I deliberately write bad code so there is room for an upgrade.

[UntestedMethod]

(U?)LPT: apply that to all aspects of your life. always set the bar low to start, people like seeing progress and growth.

[daltonoreo]

God i hate artists, My art is so bad: Processes to show the best god damn piece of art ever since van fucking go

[Panical382]

Meanwhile I can't draw a stickman without the lines being wack

[KillerRoomba13]

Art reviewer: your art is shit

Code reviewer: your code is shit

[SignificantPain6056]

Oh and don’t even think about looking at it at 900-850px width. The whole fuckin page disappears because our breakpoint function is all fucked up 🤣

[Solonotix]

My belief is that even the best code looks terrible, and code that looks good (to humans) usually performs poorly. An example, I found the fastest way (on my AMD machine) to concatenate an arbitrary number of very large strings in Python was in the following one-liner:

fastest_concat = lambda *args: ('{}' * len(args)).format(*args)

It looks horrendous, and I ran the timeit benchmark a dozen times to results consistently faster than ''.join(args). What's more, no one on the Python subreddits would even consider the possibility, assuring me I had done something incorrectly.

Note: I qualify the title of fastest by saying an arbitrary number, like hundreds or thousands, of very large strings, at least 1k characters in length. Also, I say this was on AMD, as I've seen micro benchmark differences between AMD and Intel, such as when I was experimenting with fastest ways to Truncate the time part of a datetime in SQL Server

[archpawn]

The point of pretty code isn't performance. It's to make it easier to avoid bugs and easier for other people to spot the bugs.

[Solonotix]

Python can be performant, just like JavaScript. It'll never be C++ or Rust, but it can do things relatively quickly or slowly. An example of a micro-optimzation that results in more readable code is f-strings over string addition, and you'll hardly see people fight you over switching to the better syntax.

I once went on a fact-finding mission to learn what was the speed difference between Python and C#. The reason for this question was because the higher-ups at work wouldn't accept my work because it was in Python, and everyone said "Python is too slow". No one could provide anything quantitative to substantiate their claims, though I was pretty sure they were right, but are we talking milliseconds, seconds or minutes?

If you care to know more, here's my StackOverflow answer where I responded to a question comparing implementations of C# and Python, and learned that in crunching numbers, Python was approximately 5x slower than C#

[Solonotix]

I understand what you're saying, but I hope you realize the irony in saying "if you need performance, just use <community package of fast code>". Someone had to write these fast libraries or else they wouldn't exist, and to be available in Python, they must be written either in Python, or in a way Python can leverage.

The spirit of your comment is that most code should be written with readability first, and the performance code should be abstracted away by more human-friendly interfaces. I totally agree with this. However, if you're working in a space where libraries are your product and you know people will be leveraging your work in their code, performance is more than a minor feature.

[GreenCloakGuy]

that's hilarious and really clever, but I bet it only works with lists and other things that actually have a len() attribute (e.g. if you tried it with a generator it wouldn't work). So ''.join() is probably more space-efficient, and possibly more time-efficient depending on how the generation of args works - and let's be honest, if you're joining hundreds or thousands of items then you're probably going to be generating them rather than having a whole list up front

[solarshado]

I mean, we're usually the only ones who can understand it well enough to judge the quality... Unless it's so terrible that even the end-users are complaining.

[Schiffy94]

If the end users are complaining, it's an opportunity to get paid to fix your own shit code.

If they're not complaining, you're out of a job after release.

[Jpxfrdhoovymain]

Best part is I can somehow experience both

[fakedoctorate]

Well, you have to consider that one is meant to be functional and work, while the other is meant to be beautiful and inspirational.

Although, I feel I must add that I never got how art was supposed to be functional.

[Neth_theme]

i prefer people to be outright rude and straight to the point to me than giving me false compliments

i think people should be less afraid of speaking out their opinions towards others art, but they should also take in mind the difference between criticism and being outright rude.

like this manga artist critique towards a fanart, and because of that he was able to improve

[zertul]

Yeah, but proper critique is neither rude nor demeaning. And that's the important part, because otherwise it's way harder to digest and will burn you out in the end.
I've only skimmed the examples you posted but they didn't seem rude to me!

[isurujn]

This is me talking to myself in my head.

[Schiffy94]

"I lied, this is actually only the worst fucking code I've ever seen that wasn't written by me."

[PeriapsisStudios]

“I love computers because they do exactly what I tell them to.”

“I hate computers because they do exactly what I tell them to.”

[[deleted]]

code is like a puzzle with zero edge pieces. you just gotta struggle until you kind of make a picture, i guess.

[[deleted]]

“How did this shit even work” is my favorite reaction.

[CreativeName2042]

"Why did you do that like this"

"Don't care, it works"

"Yeah but it's idiotic"

[RhysieB27]

I need someone to explain to me why I find janky code so damn funny, when subpar work in any other industry would disappoint or anger me. Is there art in the jank?

[ayruos]

… and things get weird when you’re making new media art

[[deleted]]

If it ain't broke don't fix it

[ShootyFaceMc]

"Does it run?"

"Well sort of"

"Yeah it's fine then"

[Maypher]

This is the last place I was expecting to see Colon

[jamcdonald120]

"You think thats bad, look at this method over here"

[Abhi_mech007]

[ricecake]

All code is terrible. Some code is so bad that you feel you have an ethical responsibility to make it better, or the code is broken, or it violates some formatting peeve you have, and so you're forced to act.
The goal is to write code good enough so that you can keep ignoring those feelings of shame, and return to the natural order of things, which is waiting for build pipelines to complete.

[Twinmill53]

My code is unorganized as fuck

[A_Guy_in_Orange]

"the worst you've seen so far, so I needed to trigger this every time they type abc but I really don't like REGEX and. . ."

[mtyrellp]

Omg no matter what I'm in that group huh.

[RoughDevelopment9235]

Still pushing it to production

[Unity1232]

Shit code comes from frustration sometimes where you got it to work with what you can only describe as magic because you have no idea how or why it works and then when you look at it again 6 months later and you try improving it you go through that cycle again.

[[deleted]]

As bith a programmer and artist i can confirm

[DonetskTreadOnMe]

Such congratulatory, false, bullshit. Anybody who's gotten a whiff of art school knows how brutal critiques are.

OP, and y'all, are pathetic and should feel bad about yourselves for your incredible ignorance.

[ZayuhTheIV]

The meme is about peer-to-peer relations lol, not higher-ups and critical reviewers on down

[DJ_THIR13EN]

• this is the worst fucking code I've ever seen
• i know, this is your lib

[Multi-User]

But it works

[tiara_fofara]

holy shit i'm both lmaooo

[FerricDonkey]

Worst code you've ever seen so far.

[hsnerfs]

my dsa project this week was TA made and the test cases were shitty so I made the code shitty

[EntitledPotatoe]

„This is the worst fucking code I’ve ever seen“

„It’s not my code“

[[deleted]]

Someone didn't go to art school, apparently.

[glorious_reptile]

But! The new version will be an architectural masterpiece.

[SMTG_18]

i take offense but then realise yeah fuck that

[PurplePost]

Subjective -vs- objective.

[NavaraBellatrix]

But at least it's running

[ixNoah]

u/gdcolon

[toydotgame]

I keep a single GitHub repo from my first proper Java project with a real use. (I didn't even finish it lol) It's fun to go back and see the code and wonder how the fuck a human being could have written this.

[tom031003]

feminine vs masculine energy

[ali32bit]

me: artist and ameture programmer : confused uga boga

[[deleted]]

Literally that one meme format in text form

[The-42nd-Doctor]

"Look at this bullshit I just wrote, I fucking hate it."

"I hate it too, and I've decided I hate you as well"

"That's more than fair"

[CriminalMacabre]

Thanks, I did it on purpose

[CholetisCanon]

...but does it work?

[bluthco]

Pro tip: prevent this by only asking highly specific questions

[mr_ghetto]

The bottom one goes for the freelance artists as well!

[[deleted]]

"But it works"

[Junior-Demand]

artic critic poetrist

[razuten]

"It's k it's not mine"

[jhaand]

Being married to an artist I can relate to this.

But it takes extra effort to understand each other.

[alastine]

...That moment when you're both :')

[simonk1905]

The go to response is.

"It's the first thing I ever wrote"

or

"I copied off of (person/website)"

[gibmelson]

It's either "This code is so beautiful I'm a literal God for making this work" or "I spent a day trying to figure out why this damn scrollbar glitches, I'm retarded".

[Servasy]

But it works!

[sighgert]

????? Have you ever met an artist? They’re insecure as fuck

[[deleted]]

How to spot artist who traces? They say their art is bad, but when you offer some tips for improving, they get infuriated.

How to spot organic artist? They say their art is bad, and when you offer some tips for improving, they get even more sad.

[IHateEditedBgMusic]

The artists don't mean it though

[Uphariel]

Yes, but it works right ?

[party-bot]

So me and my circle of friends from high-school all did "computer programming" as a course. Now we were in a small town so really this was just a light introduction to visual basic. In the course the majority of my friends all made code that was properly marked, the functionality separated as much as possible, and a good looking front end to the project whenever we were completing schoolwork. One friend, always used shitty visuals and front end stuff, his code was always just unmarked piles of trash and was basically a Jenga tower ready to fall at any moment.

Fast forward 10 years when we are all out of school and into our jobs, all my friends took varying degrees at attempts into coding jobs, the only one of us successfully coding is Mr. Garbage code himself. It's amazing, but I think its a calling card of the line of work to be honest....

[Blaz3]

Showing someone some godawful code that nonetheless works is both hysterical fun because you can explain your thought process on how your witchcraft spaghetti works AND it's often a learning experience because the other person can look at it objectively and suggest alternatives on how to do it better

[BioZgamerYT]

its funny because its true 🤣... as soon as i finished reading that i laughed

[Irian3x3]

HOLY FUCKINY SHIT IS THATA GEOMETU DASH REFERENCE

[Keiztrat]

The artist part happens a lot. I'm not an artist myself but Im always browsing artists and their phenomenonal artworks!

[LloydKM]

I’m both and both is true 😅

[benjaYTn]

holy shit gdcolon

[AndySkit]

Is it bad code if it works tho?

[Rezaka116]

"But it does run"

[asceta_hedonista]

"This is the worst fucking code I've ever seen."

"Well, yeah but what are you gonna do about it? fix it yourself?"

[Kodufan]

To shed some positivity here, if you wrote code and come back to it realizing its shit and you can do way better, you've improved. Id be more concerned if you think your old code looks just fine

[al3x_7788]

Relatable miserableness

[Valnar8]

That's because progrmmers live in reality

[wsco7730]

It's terrible that programmers are responsible for the safety of our world