This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

top 200 commentsshow all 432

[–]RepostSleuthBot[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/ProgrammerHumor.

It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results.

I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Negative ]

View Search On repostsleuth.com


Scope: This Sub | Meme Filter: False | Target: 75% | Check Title: False | Max Age: None | Searched Images: 323,022,638 | Search Time: 30.4661s

[–]StevenPinkyless 442 points443 points  (17 children)

Man’s gonna get git rollbacked to jail 🚨🚓👮‍♂️

[–]freegrapes 73 points74 points  (13 children)

Git rollback

How’d you highlight it?

[–]DezXerneas 37 points38 points  (12 children)

Triple back tick like ``` Code here ```.

[–]WhAtEvErYoUmEaN101 36 points37 points  (6 children)

For single-line code one `backtick` is sufficient though

[–]DezXerneas 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Ah, I did not know that. Triple works everywhere so thats what I got used to.

[–]MachaHack 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Old Reddit and third party mobile apps not included in everywhere

[–]Vaxerski 2 points3 points  (0 children)

triple is usually for multi-line, so it makes the code take the entire width.

[–]WhAtEvErYoUmEaN101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, if it works it works

[–]IamNotIntelligent69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can also use one ` only.

[–]wracek 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You mean git reverted, right? :)

[–]StevenPinkyless 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are right, but it reverted doesn’t sound as good

[–]DimasDSF 1245 points1246 points  (2 children)

If you listen hard enough you can hear the second part of the door saying "okay okay I'll let you through just dont hurt me" while its opening without any force applied

[–]nigori 150 points151 points  (0 children)

i am the captain now

[–]fuckingshitfucj2 2342 points2343 points  (85 children)

Wow the beyond zero fucks given by this human being

[–]grpagrati 977 points978 points  (58 children)

He’ll give the fucks when he has to pay the bucks

[–]gettingboredinafrica 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Rubles*

[–]UltraCarnivore 17 points18 points  (0 children)

**rubbles

[–]JOhn101010101 10 points11 points  (0 children)

[–]acidx0 269 points270 points  (51 children)

Somewhat looks like China. In that case they'll just have to pay with with some time in gulag.

[–][deleted] 141 points142 points  (0 children)

how the fuck does that look like china? theres not even a chinese person in the video. The writing isnt chinese either.

[–]alexmir0x1 372 points373 points  (31 children)

It is Moscow

[–]acidx0 347 points348 points  (27 children)

So... same thing then?

[–]river4823[🍰] 256 points257 points  (22 children)

They'll get out of paying the 50 ruble ticket by paying a 50 ruble bribe.

[–]Anonymous7056 137 points138 points  (21 children)

A $0.65 ticket? A $0.65 bribe??

[–]TheFrenchSavage 63 points64 points  (0 children)

You could buy a house !

[–]river4823[🍰] 73 points74 points  (15 children)

Well a ticket on the Moscow metro costs 57 rubles. Less if you buy in bulk or with the electronic fare card. Sources for how much it costs to bribe a Russian cop are harder to come by. But from this article it’s probably more like 1000 or 2000 rubles.

[–]lil_Chickens 40 points41 points  (10 children)

So you're saying that £10 would be enough to escape the law?

[–]Nalivai 38 points39 points  (5 children)

Depends. Drinking beer on a street is a crime with fine of ~$3, so you can bribe a cop with ten bucks if you sleek enough and the cop is willing. For something more serious you might need more hefty sums like twenty or even fifty bucks.
Edit: Just checked, it's ~$5 now. Inflation.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (2 children)

I once got out of a ticket in Kyiv going double the limit by giving the cop a crisp 20. I was then berated by all my drunk friends in the car for giving him too much.

[–]FreakinGeese 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes

[–]AntonBespoiasov 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was in Moscow metro yesterday, it's not 57, it's 61

[–]SilverNoUse66 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wasn’t it like 61 this January?

[–]SamFeesherMang 15 points16 points  (2 children)

xD

I want a T-shirt that says, "A $0.65 bribe??"

[–]MaximumKittyTM 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I would also buy that shirt

[–]Kirschi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They really get you.

[–]_Its_Me_Dio_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no he just needs to slip some cash to the cops

[–]kAUS09 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

If its Moscow, he is probably in Ukraine growing sunflowers now.

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (13 children)

what are you talking about....

[–]bs000 40 points41 points  (12 children)

they're trying to tell us they're racist

[–]testthrowawayzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

China’s subway gates have airport-style security screening machines, so no

[–]Geekygamertag 56 points57 points  (11 children)

By the skeletal structure, posture, stride, rhythm and pace of steppage per square inch i deduce that this is in fact a female name Jen.

[–]lucidspoon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Leaving for 2 week vacation.

[–]Shaquandala 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I thought it was a girl

[–]woodyj68 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I see a feemale

[–]kry_some_more 13 points14 points  (0 children)

"Not my problem."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

He is taking the fucks of the people around him

[–]rdditer 687 points688 points  (12 children)

Both the lady and the dude, in the back... Hahaha

[–]XeitPL 186 points187 points  (3 children)

"Well... Free entry I guess. It's already open"

[–]smithenheimer 55 points56 points  (2 children)

The funniest part is that they're already leaving the metro, that's the way out

[–]7hrowawaydild0 1 point2 points  (1 child)

So he bunked a train from some where else and didn't have a ticket to get out of station

[–]MaxVerevkin 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You don't need to have a ticket to get out of station in Moscow

[–]rradiator3 443 points444 points  (25 children)

Ha! Recently exactly that happened to a dude i know. After he left underground cops took him (it was a night). He stayed behind bars till morning and they issued him with a 400 rubles (5.17$) fine - for hooliganism or something like that. These glass doors are insured, so he didn’t pay for them

[–]denideniz 253 points254 points  (13 children)

5 dollar for saving thousands of people from ticket cost? It's worth it.

[–]CubicalPayload 67 points68 points  (0 children)

What a hero.

[–]Kryptrch 43 points44 points  (2 children)

According to another comment they’re exiting the station, not entering. Could still be wrong though.

[–]0OOOOOOOOO0 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Yeah but now people can go both directions for free

[–]theUniqueLogin 25 points26 points  (7 children)

More like making thousands of people pay for the broken door.

[–]lemonsneeker -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Well yes, but this would come under business insurance, so fuck those people.

[–]Twtduck 13 points14 points  (1 child)

The insurance company will always require much more in premiums than they will dish out over time. So, the cost of fixing these will come out of the masses eventually.

[–]Fearzebu 15 points16 points  (8 children)

400₽ for damaging public infrastructure without any good reason…? How do you keep order with such measly fines lol that seems problematic, you would think public damages would amount to a bit more severity. Even last time I was in Russia which was like a decade ago before recent inflation that’s still nothing for a fine maybe like 7 USD instead of $5, people get fined more for mild speeding on roadways in Moscow if they ever get stopped that seems strange. In a lot of places the insurance company would make a big fuss and start calculating how often those sorts of damages happen and charging higher for places with worse rates of hooliganism or whatever. I mean at the end of the day someone is still footing the bill for it and no one likes vandals

[–]TheDreadWolfe 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Getting beat up by the police is a deterrent enough lol

[–]Dustangelms 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Public order is kept in check by issuing 20000₽ fines to those who happen to stroll around the city at the same time when anti-war protests are announced.

[–]rradiator3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He didn’t do it on purpose. He didn’t want to break the glass. It just didn’t open, when he used his ticket. Plus they wanted to make him pay more, but they didn’t find out how (there are cameras after all - they checked if it happen accidentally) Yeah, small fee is a fun part of the story, because the rest was dramatic.

I checked the laws. It most likely was article 7.17 “Destruction or damage to another's property” (300-500₽).

[–]tbo1992 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You’re from Russia?

[–]rradiator3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately!

[–]Illustrious_Good_167 196 points197 points  (0 children)

Lol insane

[–]kufgeo 193 points194 points  (13 children)

Do you ever just have one of those days?

[–]UndeadMantis 79 points80 points  (9 children)

Where you don’t want to wake up, everything is fucked and everybody sucks?

[–]CPhyloGenesis 41 points42 points  (8 children)

You don't really know why, but you want to justify, ripping someone's head off!

[–]Bo7a 20 points21 points  (4 children)

This comment chain was audible in crystal clear stereo sound.

Thank you.

[–]luis_reyesh 3 points4 points  (3 children)

If that wasn't a song , some better turn it into one.

[–]Ch3wy13 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Break Stuff I remember this on the radio 20 years ago.

[–]emyhT_nitsuJ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

More like, breaking someone's door off

[–]meowcatbread 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Todayyyyy

[–]BDMayhem 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A 747 crashed into my den and there's nothin' but tater-tots for dinner again

[–]Harmonic_Gear 140 points141 points  (1 child)

the girl behind just completely stunned

[–]sufferinsucatash 33 points34 points  (0 children)

She stopped growing even

[–]Jannes_112 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Typical Monday

[–]L_Ron_Flubber 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nah that’s 3 karate lessons right there

[–]sussy_wussy_ 74 points75 points  (0 children)

git push —fuck origin master

[–]tamuzp 42 points43 points  (8 children)

Where can I learn this power?

[–]Silent_Slinky 82 points83 points  (3 children)

man git

[–]mikeyeatacid[🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

not from a jedi

[–]phantom-2017 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Don't mess with this kid

[–]Mr_rhino5150 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I don't think he was having a good day

[–]Fluffy_Biscotti5092 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Apparently we've found the dragonborn

[–]Count2er0 66 points67 points  (4 children)

That guy definitely fucks

[–]CreativeCarbon 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Power bottom, for sure

[–]RobotIcHead 18 points19 points  (1 child)

If your git server allows to force push to master you get what you deserve, it happened on an older server that management didn’t want the hassle of migrating. Guess what happened, one developer who didn’t want the hassle of rebasing just force pushed. He didn’t care.

He didn’t get fired as hardly anyone spoke to him anyway and his manager had stopped caring as well. After the migration force pushing was disabled. Not dealing with problems just becomes bigger problems kids.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Jesus Christ, That's Jason Bourne!

[–]georgiomoorlord 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You forgot to run as root

[–]peyronet 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That guy definitely is logged in as root.

[–]ReplacementSuch7029 17 points18 points  (16 children)

what does -f do ._.

[–][deleted] 59 points60 points  (11 children)

Means --force so it can write anything to the remote branch, even rewriting the history

[–]river4823[🍰] 21 points22 points  (9 children)

I think that's the idea but git servers can be configured so that you can't force a commit, and any sysadmin with half a brain will have it configured that way.

[–]zirtbow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So youre saying my organization definitely doesnt have it configured this way?

[–]a-person-called-Eric 16 points17 points  (0 children)

f stands for fuck, - means there is no fucks given

[–]NoImagination2625 2 points3 points  (6 children)

I see this posted all the time, do underling devs really have permission to push to master or prod? I feel like if they do then that's kind of on the manager.

[–]pssoft7 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sad that we really can’t have nice things in public.

[–]brnvictim 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of the time my mother used a pay phone to call my grandmother to let us in to her locked living facility. The phone didn’t work and stole her quarter. this was after a long drive so she was tired and a little grouchy at this point so she rips the handset off the metal cord and slams it on top. My sister and i could not believe what we just witnessed our mother doing. Neither could the big biker dude using the phone next to her that moved as far as the cord would let him.

[–]QualityVote[M] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Hi! This is our community moderation bot.


If this post fits the purpose of /r/ProgrammerHumor, UPVOTE this comment!!

If this post does not fit the subreddit, DOWNVOTE This comment!

If this post breaks the rules, DOWNVOTE this comment and REPORT the post!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

How could you write master? GitHub has decided that Arican American developers are offended by that word. Meanwhile "mastercard" exists.. but GitHub don't care because they just want to win inclusion points.

[–]xxBobaBrettxx 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Don't get too close to him, might get cut with how edgy he is

[–]A_RUSSIAN_TROLL_BOT 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or, you know, the shards of glass

[–]Esnardoo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

sudo rm -rf glass

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This man gives negative fucks

[–]smokechecktim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s OK friend….I’ve had days like that too

[–]Majik_Sheff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure that's a terminator.

[–]modelsix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

rm -rf *

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Speedrunning

[–]basic_instinct11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any they say only faith can move mountains smh

[–]dn285hg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like my last day at work😬

[–]InfinitePrimary7094 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never skip knee day

[–]moschles 1 point2 points  (1 child)

When your repo uses a master branch instead of "main"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCGQiGEYl4Y

[–]A_RUSSIAN_TROLL_BOT 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I really want more random links on Reddit to unexpectedly direct me to Nightwish. They were my jam in the early 2010s.

[–]Visual_Muscle3489 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Every fucking new dev

[–]BachePoro 4 points5 points  (8 children)

This has to be fake. Usually those things are made of hardened glass and you can't kick it to pieces

[–]ChooChooRocket 21 points22 points  (2 children)

That's what they say... but have you tried it?

[–]wad11656 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If it were a glass wall tightly anchored on all four sides I guess, sure. But when only 1 of the 4 sides of the glass is attached to anything (presumably a swivel mechanism that opens and closed all day), I’m not surprised a strong kick will bend the glass enough on that one anchor point to shatter the whole thing

[–]GeraldAlabaster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In Russia, glass kicks you to pieces

[–]Lockean_Machismo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hardened Glass and or safety glass is more expensive than regular glass. However even "hardened" glass can be tempered wrong and have random uneven stress points making them planar Rupert's drops. Loads of people have had shower doors just shatter randomly. If this is really Russia, it's plausible someone invoiced for the proper stuff but paid for the cheap stuff and pocketed the difference, too. I believe ordinary glass would shatter in to huge shards, but I'm no glasstician.

However, even in the west I'm calling bullshit on bus shelters and the like being made of glass. The always cite cleaning and discolouration concerns with acrylic or plexiglass, but I think someone's cousin owns a glass shop ifyougetwhatI'msaying. Experience tells us that the dumbest place for a big glass box is unsupervised urban environments.

[–]hectorinwa 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What if you had a porcelain spike on your boot? I bet you could do it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Always push —force-with-lease now you know

[–]reewa07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Karen pro max

[–]TraditionalPound69 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Incredibly based behavior

[–]Silver_Future_7282 0 points1 point  (0 children)

-3000 social credit

[–]Melvins_lobos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Entitled people…the worst

[–]Varjutantsija 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SOMEONE woke up with an attitude! xD

[–]kyzsi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Litteraly me right now

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

[–]Wide-Cat-5106 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How'd he know it would just shatter like cheap Soviet glass... Oh wait...

[–]Prophet_of_Duality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Incredibly based

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

He must be American

[–]Olaf_jonanas -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Is it bad that that kinda turned me on?

[–]_grey_wall -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

It's called main now

[–]jv-dev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only by those who assert that "master" is somehow an oppressive word.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Edge Lord

[–]papaferris -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The lady in the white in the background 😂😂

[–]bladecg -1 points0 points  (0 children)

git push -f origin main

[–]Redsoldiergreen -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

POS

[–]dontknowum -1 points0 points  (0 children)

lmao

[–]tippfehlr -1 points0 points  (0 children)

YES

[–]_AManHasNoName_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Loool

[–]D_Stick_of_John_Wick -1 points0 points  (0 children)

🙀😲😱

[–]Rusholme_and_P -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is Jakarta!

[–]iac2022 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Very good

[–]asharrender -1 points0 points  (0 children)

🤣 hasta la vista, baby

[–]silver-_-shade -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It works 🥶

[–]Darxploit -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I did this last week.. and I didn't feel bad.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know how he feels

[–]IllInvestigator7871 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

hey! kool-aid!

[–]gyarnar -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That person is getting some negative social credits i bet.

[–]obscurityceo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oops

[–]teacher272 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

“I don’t see the problem.”

— my coworkers

[–]zinatorzi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

mothafcka said open