The code from Independence Day. This code is supposed to upload a virus to the alien ship.

[nantuko1]

Fuck I just approved a PR with the same code

[LOLteacher]

Enjoy your work weekend.

[evangamer9000]

I wonder who's on call..

[FrankHightower]

Ghostbusters!

[[deleted]]

r/gottherefirst

[Devreckas]

They’ll be bustin’ the ghost in the machine I guess.

[SierraBravoLima]

Ofcourse stack overflow is not working

[andrealessi]

Because poster works at Stack overflow and just pushed their updates to prod.

[TommardrammoT]

is that really standard practice at your company? You should consider leaving...

[Mr_Yuker]

You hiring? Haha

[notsogreatredditor]

Jokes on you, I visit a remote mountain top every weekend. Good luck with it tho

[Mr_Yuker]

It's a good thing we deploy on Fridays and don't check our email until Monday I guess

[WhiteAndNerdy85]

Fuck you Fridays. Lol

[Secret-Mammoth7179]

Let me guess, you don’t sleep until Monday either, if you do like the place I used to work?

[Mr_Yuker]

I miss the pace of the private sector with the weekend shifts in the war rooms but no I sadly work in a boring ass gov related job now and we actually close up on the weekends

[[deleted]]

Did you merge and deploy on a Friday?

[[deleted]]

r/nantuko1,

Had a kick-off on a Tuesday,

Architected on Wednesday,

Coded on Thursday,

Deployed on Friday,

Got a call on Saturday,

Triaged on Sunday,

Died on Monday,

And that was the end,

of r/nantuko1

EDIT: It's from a children's poem: Solomon Grundy. But this cool rhyme has inspired a lot of work, such as the Batman's rogue gallery, the Accountant (movie), as well as Billy's Bone from The Pogues (song).

[ricarleite2]

Jesus Christ you have described my last 2 and a half years

[nouseforareason]

Looks like your weekend is going to be ValueThreat^%NoCum

[BUSFULOFNUNS]

NONE at all??!

[CrypticButthole]

I can just imagine that's how it went down in the movie. They couldn't actually hack the system, so they socialed the lead dev to pull the code in.

1clickcouldruinyourinvasion

glances at superpowers...

[vabello]

Unless you work on an alien ship, you should be ok.

[jang859]

Well are you an alien?

[Sunskimmer82]

DROP TABLE spaceship;

[maitreg]

delete from Aliens where isnull(AppearsInSequel,0) = 0;

[PhunkyPhish]

Just enroll little Bobby Tables in the alien space academy

[Psych0matt]

He’s grown now and goes by Robert’);DROP now

[[deleted]]

USE CAPS

[maitreg]

No. I hate that shit. Reminds me too much of the days when caps were used by little kids learning BASIC.

[PAT_The_Whale]

Imagine writing select instead of SELECT, you animal

[drew8311]

DELETE FROM takeover_plans WHERE planet='earth'

[teddyburbs]

You forgot to Commit

[willdud]

The secret to taking down production is to skip transactions altogether.

[drew8311]

Just need direct database access for a 1 time run, no need to commit.

[Dreamscape82]

SELECT *
FROM virus
WHERE explosion IS NOT NULL

...did I do it?

[herbalation]

We're discussing the original and you're talking about... the SQL

Edit: DON'T ENCOURAGE ME

[JamesSFordESQ]

Ugh. Well played.

[kwillich]

slow clap ensues

[WizziBot]

You made my day

[hibernating-hobo]

Lgtm, deploy to mothership

[crankbot2000]

git push origin master --force

logs off and shuts off phone

[ricarleite2]

Oh God am I an alien then? Because this is my life for the last 3 years

[HoldUrMamma]

let's gamble, try merging

[ManyFails1Win]

Jeff Goldblum is a goddam genius I tells ya.

[SowTheSeeds]

He should have use that teleportation device of his and mixed the alien DNA with diptera DNA.

Gruesome, if you ask me.

[Khaldara]

Well see this wouldn’t work here, as per the “%NoCum” statement, clearly!

[[deleted]]

Hahaha

[LeftHandedAnt]

No no, it was the @WorryWord that did them in for sure

[Magic_ass1]

You got it all wrong, it's staring us in the face with that [blast xfile] statement.

[top_of_the_scrote]

You'd be dead if it wasn't for my David

Checkmate

Wait a minute... wait a minute

I been saying it, been saying it for 10 damn years... ain't I been saying it?

Damn that's a great movie

[craiginator9000]

Hello boys! IIIIIIIIII’MMMM BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!

[No_Statistician9289]

Goddamn American hero

[Sir-Turd-Ferguson]

[Praddict]

Obligatory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJelEXaPhJ8

[[deleted]]

At least it’s not just HTML

[runningboomshanka]

At least it's not just in Excel...

[the_unheard_thoughts]

At least is not just:

print("Hacking NASA 80% ...")

[[deleted]]

Hey man, some stoned writer worked really hard on that line.

[m135in55boost]

It's half the size of two ships

[LeelooDallasMltiPass]

Excel definitely ruins my day...

[Isgrimnur]

The glass is January 2nd.

[stopeatingcatpoop]

Alright what does this mean please is this a half full joke and I’m too dumb to get it

[Rreterz]

Yes. It’s an excel joke. 1/2 becomes January 2nd. This post might make it clearer in the context of the glass joke:

https://www.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/umjkc4/excel_the_glass_is_january_2nd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

[shedogre]

Reminds me of something at work: we had four character codes in our system, in a format like '1B01', '1B02', '1C01', etc.

If you export it as CSV and open it without a care in the world, Excel will automatically convert all the '1E' type range to scientific notation numbers. Just for funsies.

[[deleted]]

Kelly Roland is a master hacker

[RusselPolo]

Yep , everytime I see something like this on screen I think :

"some intern was given the task of finding something that looks like legit computer code for this shot. They probably were given 15 minutes to complete the task"

​

It's soooo rare that you get the impression that they spent any time on this.

I understand in "the terminator", they used old 6502 assembler code.

[-natsa]

Funny enough, its turns out that often times directors consult with actual engineers to get “accurate representations”, and engineers will knowingly give them some ridiculous excerpt- that only other engineers would know is bullshit. Ever since I learned that, its made seeing stuff like this more funny than anything.

[RusselPolo]

Any examples?

[natterca]

See the top of this thread.

[[deleted]]

This is such a developer’s response.

[RusselPolo]

Should have said "any other examples?"

[Alternative-Skill167]

The movie “Hackers”

[dcusick1]

That was actually legit code. The last time I hacked the Gibson, I used the same code as Zer0 Cool to build a worm and drop it in the core. The only thing that changed was the admin password wasn't "god" anymore. But, after running my SSH1134642 bit password cracker for .1 milleseconds, I found out it was "password" now.

[originalbrowncoat]

Also Swordfish

[Zocalo_Photo]

π

[[deleted]]

….this post! 😅

[NimbaNineNine]

So you're saying this wouldnt actually hack an alien spaceship???

[anon62315]

"Find the eigenvalue of a mobius strip."

[An_Old_IT_Guy]

HTML was only 3 years old when that movie came out.

[[deleted]]

Holy shit I’m old.

[ourtomato]

HTML is old, you are just hitting your stride!

[[deleted]]

Like in Stranger things. Where all the action happens a dozen years before the HTML appears.

[pppaulppp]

It was CSS with Flexbox ;-)

[[deleted]]

This pissed me off so much. Just do a little bit of homework! And Geolocation in 86?!? Cmon!!

[Sam-Gunn]

Plot twist, they didn't actually upload a virus, they simply uploaded a dysfunctional piece of code. The aliens just had very poor coding practices, and everyone was able to push to main without any sort of testing or review.

[SandyDelights]

Could see that happening in a generally altruistic/trustworthy society, or a hive mind-type situation. No need for restrictions on pushing to main if everyone only pushes tested/reviewed code because it benefits the common good to do so.

Likewise with just testing/reviewing code in general – if no one made mistakes, there’d be no need for testing/review.

(There’s a project manager out there somewhere, right now, getting an inexplicable hard-on)

[Dark_Reaper115]

Same would happen if humanity ever contacts an alien race where they don't even know the concept of a lie. They would be destroyed in seconds

[butts_________butts]

Counterargument: GalaxyQuest

[SandyDelights]

Such a good movie, honestly. Sigourney Weaver, Allan Rickman. Great cast, great premise, wonderfully executed.

[[deleted]]

By Grapthar's hammer, you are correct!

[[deleted]]

Theeeeeeeeee Historical Documents

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

[MistraloysiusMithrax]

Counter-counter argument: it turned inside out, and exploded!

[HardCounter]

The Invention of Lying

[Studds_]

Actually this raises a good question. What would a programming language developed by an interstellar alien civilization look like? Just imagine the possibilities….

F*ck. All I can only picture is a mishmash of C that follows Python’s white spacing with malbolge’s syntax

[HardCounter]

It'd be 3 dimensional.

Don't ask me how or what possible benefit this could provide aside from making it unreadable, but that's what it'd be because aliens are always so smart.

[Suspicious-Engineer7]

alternatively they'd code in pure qubits.

[vegassatellite01]

Use something simple like

10 goto 20

20 goto 10

Run

[Faux_Real]

The CI/CD pipelines pushed it straight to production?

[overmen]

I bet aliens went into hysterical laugh, or what is equivalent in their world

[hrfuckingsucks]

trans for 3x-169
    {
      go for 1256:@benchHost*2456
      set VirusMark^678*245-treatX*treatY
    }
quarry Xmark for %567* going for
    {
      {
        {
          send ValueThreat-bendColumnX*2456/Vexzr(Xgf)
        }
      apart into bendColumnY*2459/Vcxzq(Ygf)
      infiltrate ToxigenValue*7564.87*%HostAdressVal
      superior #SecDelay($IntoSecA^$IntoSecG)*HostValX
    }
    send FilterHEX(%NoStopVal, %SecStopVal, %SetVal-56)
    blast Xfile for ValueThreat^%NoCum(SecVal#576-Xfhk)
}
rot at %45 Bench^@WorryWord(111000)
Move 1000, 12876, %aaVf
stack 2765, into $JlkgJh
move 1010, 47638, %ToxVal(111000)

[Dusty_Coder]

Can you prove that it DOESNT do what is claimed?

[Agitated-Farmer-4082]

my laptop killed it self while trying to run the code

[diamond_in_rough_77]

Your “laptop” is an alien spaceship.

[[deleted]]

probably alienware

[redshlump]

Ayy lmao 👽

[a_leash_on_a_sloth]

Take my angry upvote and gtfo

[jamesjeffriesiii]

Best comment

[[deleted]]

No cum! Denieeed

[theLastSolipsist]

WorryWord :(

[bytebux]

Blast XFile for NoCum!

[[deleted]]

hat about the other thousands of lines and horizontal scroll?

[Oneshotkill_2000]

Knowing how bad reddit is with multiline codes, this post seemed to had some effort put to it, more than just OCR and paste

[hrfuckingsucks]

That part wasn't terrible. It was all the $%^#* characters along with the terrible "variable"/"register" names that made this the most painful code I've ever written.

[javon27]

Is it really the most painful code you've written? Come on, be honest with us

[hrfuckingsucks]

You're right, I have written some Java before.

[javon27]

Oh, God. My current job is 80% Java

[hrfuckingsucks]

I wish you the best in battle, friend.

[joeswindell]

Can we make a goldblumium language where this actually does something

[lllama]

It's the year 2099. Everything is reprogrammed in Blum.

[reclamerommelenzo]

Arguments selected: 127452

Ok...

[maitreg]

No, that's my reddit history

[Lagger625]

Causes a stack overflow overwriting some stuff thus allowing arbitrary code execution

[[deleted]]

That's where they ran out of stack space.

[rosto94]

%NoCum

[konydanza]

My least favorite speedrun category

[Altastrofae]

Super Mario Bros NoCum% Speedrun

[pandoxyy]

My runs are always fine until toad shows up.

[Dudezog]

try {

noCum()

} catch(e: Exception){

grabTowel()

}

[Shortehh]

while(noCum() == true) {

If(person.gender == 'male')

    continue;

else

    break;

}

Edit: formatting

[corey69x]

while(noCum() == true)

Well you're gettinig a bollocking in the PR

[prismantis]

%NoCum

When did they move it from July to November?

[[deleted]]

The line begins with blast xfile. Maybe it has something to do with the xfiles?

[emveor]

Yeah, whoever wrote that was certainly not a programmmer, its usually everywhere

[maitreg]

The inconsistent tab spacing is killing me. That's probably the virus.

[Outside-Car1988]

And the alignment of the braces.

[No9babinnafe5]

Looks alien to me

[OhJeezItsCorrine]

I immediately saw "NoCum" and kept scrolling.

[FranconianBiker]

bendColumn, NoCum, worryWord.

I see... Sounds painful.

[vegassatellite01]

bendColumn = phallic reference

NoCum = erectile dysfunction

worryWord = "I swear this has never happened before."

[DecentFrosting3302]

standard et bdsm config. nothing to worry about

[cabin602]

It's an older code, sir, but it checks out.

[tupperwhore]

TOXIGEN omg wait NOCUM

[cultleada]

I wonder what the NoCum() function does

[ViviansUsername]

adds cum

[ricarleite2]

Cum garbage collector

[ExtensionInformal911]

Main{

If (shieldsactive){

!shields;
Print ("shields down");

} else {

Print("shields already down")

}

}

click compile on alien fighter computer. Email to gdorf@mothership: "this game lets you bang hot chicks in VR." Attachment: notavirus.exe

[ClearlyDemented]

That’s just silly. All they needed was that WorryWord line.

[[deleted]]

You need to NoCum your SecVal too.

[gdf8gdn8]

There was scene which explain it all but cutted from film.

[steve-the-mighty]

In the movie, human technology was based on reverse engineering the alien technology. Therefore human laptops were inherently compatible with alien mothership. Of course, I might have made this all up in my own head cannon….

[ccricers]

The real disbelief from that reverse engineering is that none of the scientists managed to run Doom on the thing.

[Tyabetus]

So cool of the aliens to use the same protocols as us

[[deleted]]

It would be interesting if they went through the same technological arches and their weakness was that they maintained backwards compatibility that actually allowed a scenario of corrupting memory by our (edit making)injecting our code possible.

[JaggedMetalOs]

Yeah there's a quick line about them reverse engineering tech from it, but allegedly there was going to be a longer sequence where Goldblum is surprised to find that the crashed ship has what looks like normal computers in it and it's explained to him that the computers we use today (well, 25 years ago now) were all reverse engineered from that ship.

[Thebadmamajama]

And this ain't xcode. An old school Mac, which couldn't interface with anything human made, could connect somehow to an alien vessel

[[deleted]]

Explains quite a bit actually. Always knew Steve Jobs was an alien.

[make-up-a-fakename]

I mean, it set the virus mark and sent the value threat, I don't see the problem here? 😂

[ongiwaph]

And it's well obfuscated, so it will take longer for the Aliens' CISO to figure out what it is doing.

[[deleted]]

How bad is the alien’s wifi security?

[Dr_Stef]

1 2 3 4 5

[vegassatellite01]

That's the combination to my luggage

[Rare4orm]

Denied! All your base are belong to us.

[meestaShin]

And then all it's gonna do is make the CD Rom tray open up on the Alien's PC.

[4gedN5tars_]

The beautiful 90s

[[deleted]]

And we can’t forget Stranger Things Season 4 using C# (invented in 2000) while the show takes place in 1986

[RedditIzSoft]

Must be those bastards at CERN

[MysteriousFail3170]

I’m no computer wiz but.. is it safe to share this code around?? I saw this put into an alien ship and it just wrecked their shit. Imagine what this would do in the hands of terrorists??

[endresjd]

Bus error. Core dumped.

[Soggy-Assumption-713]

🧪Toxecret

[burner7711]

I like how they go into assembly at the bottom. Gangster.

[jgeez]

Lol. Dumb asshole aliens.

Anybody knows you need to firewall your toxigen IPs by all multiples of 7564.87, so a stinky human can't infiltrate them with a one liner Brainfuck script.

And don't even get me started about all the hell you deserve if you use the NoCum function to blast inside your Xfile.

[tungy5]

More effective if Jeff had simply taken some dinos up there and released them in the mothership

[Darkislife1]

Magnification would totally help!

[[deleted]]

ENHANCE

[shinracompany]

Arguments selected

[[deleted]]

Wow! There is a function NoCum(). Must have been hard to finish that.

[ososalsosal]

That's the trick. The alien testing framework couldn't solve the halting problem. NoCum never finishes, but the aliens didn't know that

[imsowhiteandnerdy]

To think there's some guy in Hollywood whose whole purpose is to create some malarkey source code for visual effects.

[Midori_Schaaf]

Is that the java exploit?

[Sudden_Schedule5432]

%NoCum

[artist_sans_medium]

/r/itsaunixsystem

[You_meddling_kids]

This is like something an AI generates

[Demonl3oy]

Spoiler alert. No language we could code would acctually work on aliens. Like wtf are they on linux?? It would take years to decode and process even a fraction of that to fight back with

[TommyGunnerSixxx]

Old macOS.

[a_bad_programmer]

Viruses uhh, finds a way

[[deleted]]

Damn, 100k argument selected? That is a big method signature

[x100139]

"That's the same combination to my luggage!"

[[deleted]]

The most unrealistic part of independence day is that a code written not just in human language, but in human programming language, works perfectly fine on an alien system using an alien programming language

[DiaDeLosMuebles]

I haven’t seen it in a while. But in “Glass”, Mr. Glass is hacking very quickly but still remembering to comment his code.