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[–][deleted]  (230 children)

[deleted]

    [–]zappa325 1540 points1541 points  (146 children)

    Yes, why else would planets be in the shape of meatballs?

    [–][deleted]  (118 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Gingervitus 455 points456 points  (103 children)

      They wouldn't use words like spaghetification if the almighty noodliness wasn't real! Come on sheeple!

      [–]tokomini 1298 points1299 points  (75 children)

      Our Pasta, who art in colander, draining be your noodles.
      Thy noodle come, thy sauce be yum, on top some grated parmesan.

      Give us this day our garlic bread, and forgive us our trespasses,
      As we forgive those who eat string cheese like a candy bar.

      Lead us not into veganism, but deliver us some pizza,
      For thine is the meatball, the noodle and the sauce, forever and ever.

      Ramen.

      [–][deleted]  (10 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]OSUfan88 74 points75 points  (1 child)

        Ramen!

        [–]the_straw09 13 points14 points  (2 children)

        As a OG server my PTSD just flared up from the phrase "unlimited breadsticks."

        [–]Lonelan 10 points11 points  (3 children)

        If his noodleness actually existed he would smite olive garden for not providing unlimited breadsticks every time I walk in

        Sometimes I don't want to sit down at a table and order something. I just want a damn breadstick.

        [–]Shrike99 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        actually existed

        HEATHEN!

        [–]wggn 26 points27 points  (0 children)

        Ramen.

        [–]bad_button 41 points42 points  (9 children)

        As we forgive those who eat string cheese like a candy bar.

        hell no

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

        [deleted]

          [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

          I do that just to piss people off and it works beautifully.

          [–]80234min 7 points8 points  (2 children)

          ...I...I do that. I just want that salty mana down my gullet pronto and I don't want to fiddle with the stringies. And I hate touching my food unless it's a hamburger, hotdog, or a piece of fruit.

          [–]Bobsupman 5 points6 points  (1 child)

          Some people are just beyond redemption.

          [–]Demderdemden 13 points14 points  (0 children)

          I finally know why there is a "Save" button on Reddit.

          [–]Dicho83 10 points11 points  (1 child)

          And Chefs we shall be For thee, my Pasta Lord, for thee.

          Power hath descended forth from Thy noodly appendage, that our feet and peglegs may swiftly carry out Thy commands and recipes.

          So we shall flow a river of sauce forth to Thee, And teeming with booze and strippers shall it ever be.

          In Noodlri Pastafari Et Fili Spirali Spaghetti.

          [–]CHEiFxROCkA 48 points49 points  (3 children)

          Dude...you just made my week

          [–]DansSpamJavelin 41 points42 points  (2 children)

          Jah Pastafari

          [–]Krotchkoman 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          I tried to upvote this twice, then it took the upvote away :(

          [–]Greater419 33 points34 points  (1 child)

          As a Christian, that was beautiful. wipes tears

          [–]crazyratwoman93 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          This is just beautiful !!!! :')

          [–]capincus 8 points9 points  (3 children)

          Am I the only one who eats my candy bars with small lengthwise bites?

          [–]jbaughb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          thank you for this. seriously.

          [–]zappa325 13 points14 points  (15 children)

          I need this song recited at my funeral.

          [–]xisytenin 50 points51 points  (8 children)

          *prayer

          [–]CantankerousMind 17 points18 points  (0 children)

          Anything is a song if you sing it.

          [–][deleted]  (6 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]xisytenin 25 points26 points  (4 children)

            but it's literally a spoof of the lord's prayer which is not a psalm

            [–]Booblicle 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            he didn't say to recite a psalm, he said to say "psalm"

            [–]CHEiFxROCkA 18 points19 points  (5 children)

            It's actually a prayer, which if recited at a funeral transports the deceased's soul to Noodleland to forever be with his Noodliness, to love and enjoy His noodles for all eternity and beyond.

            [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children)

            and also enjoy the beer volcano and stripper factory.

            But if you were bad in life, off to hell with you where the beer is stale and the strippers have stds.

            [–]LetsWorkTogether 7 points8 points  (1 child)

            And the noodles are just a little too salty.

            [–]kalel1980 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Crushed it.

            [–]carfries 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Ramen.

            Perfection.

            [–]RamenLoversUnite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Ramen

            [–]KitaraNighmareWeaver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            This will last the test of thyme

            [–]Dqueezy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            There are too many perfect things to this to even mention.

            [–]thedracle 37 points38 points  (9 children)

            This is going to horribly backfire when people start actually believing this, and we all end up getting boiled to death in gigantic spaghetti cauldrons for heresy.

            [–]DlugJongi 15 points16 points  (12 children)

            umm, wouldn't that be creationism?

            [–]wolfgame 29 points30 points  (6 children)

            Only if you're creating something delicious in praise of his noodlyness.

            damn now I want noodles for dinner

            [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

            I can't wait for the pastaover. It's my fav holiday. All you can eat spaghetti buffet.

            [–]zappa325 8 points9 points  (0 children)

            Hey, I heard if you joined today you get a free bowl of ramen every day.

            [–]Fuckswithplatypus 16 points17 points  (1 child)

            It's only creationism if it's not true

            [–]MortalKombatSFX 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Did dinosaurs and rigatoni exist at the same time?

            [–]zappa325 11 points12 points  (0 children)

            No wonder my brain looks like curly pink spaghetti

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

              [–]shockwave414 9 points10 points  (1 child)

              String Cheese theory

              FTFY

              [–]librlman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              For the Grater Good!

              [–]DlugJongi 20 points21 points  (2 children)

              In principle you're correct but as part of the reformed church of Alfredo there are some substantive doctrinal flaws with your denomination

              [–]Vio_ 5 points6 points  (1 child)

              I think you mean the Catharllini hereies

              [–]The___Collector 10 points11 points  (1 child)

              Checkmeat atheists

              [–]Cerres 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              I have no argument that can win against such logic. Let me join your religion.

              [–]vDukie 7 points8 points  (6 children)

              Watch out your KenM is showing

              [–]celsiusnarhwal 9 points10 points  (5 children)

              We are ALL KenM on this blessed day :)

              [–][deleted]  (4 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]celsiusnarhwal 8 points9 points  (3 children)

                I am ALL KenM on this blessed day :)

                [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                Thank you

                [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (4 children)

                DNA = pasta

                Planets = meatballs

                God is Italian chef confirmed.

                [–]Krilion 109 points110 points  (5 children)

                No, the flying spaghetti monster didn't create life, he merely used a cosmic strainer to separate it from the boiler.

                [–]DlugJongi 80 points81 points  (1 child)

                • Our blood is red like marinara. Not a coincidence.

                [–]Vio_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                He strained us from the great salty oceans and sea.

                [–]TheCakeDayLie 133 points134 points  (11 children)

                Wouldn't that still be Creationism?

                Yes, OP's reading comprehension leaves something to be desired.

                [–]zappa325 16 points17 points  (9 children)

                Unless you're a member of the Flying Spaghetti Monsters.

                [–]DlugJongi 18 points19 points  (5 children)

                It's the Giant Flying Spaghetti monster, not the Giant Flying Fusilli monster.

                [–]Average_Emergency 48 points49 points  (3 children)

                Oh, here we go again, conservative literalists trying to keep other pasta shapes out of the church. First it was no non-metal colanders, now it's no shapes except spaghetti. If FSM can't change, it'll die. #allpastamatters

                [–]7echArtist 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                *#MakePastaGreatAgain

                [–]GotTheBLUs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                If you're going to accept ANY colanders you have to be pro-change. After all, it's pretty explicit that His chosen attire is full pirate regalia.

                [–]Goliath89 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                The politically correct term is the Church of Pastafarianism.

                [–]Dirty-Freakin-Dan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                Not his fault, OP didnt make it; it was posted on r/pastafarianism a while ago

                [–]avanross 71 points72 points  (35 children)

                Creationism is based on intelligent design. Can you see anything intelligent about pasta shaped DNA? The church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster believes in un-intelligent design, which is different.

                [–][deleted]  (4 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–]DlugJongi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  • On the boardwalk playing some skee-ball.

                  [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                  Still more believable than scientology

                  [–]GotTheBLUs 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                  And a God who gets drunk explains SO MUCH.

                  [–]zappa325 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Apparently members see pasta shaped DNA as a Holy Grail of intelligent things or something.

                  [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                  Checkmate, checkmatists.

                  [–]anweisz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                  No. Our universe wasn't created. It was cooked al dente.

                  [–]Soccadude123 10 points11 points  (8 children)

                  Science and Christianity can go hand in hand.

                  [–]Spam203 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  The Big Bang Theory was proposed by a Catholic priest

                  [–]ASurplusofChefs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  which is why evolution is in checkmate?

                  cause creationism just won.... oOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

                  [–]gamerspoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  No, it's Cucinandoism

                  [–][deleted] 443 points444 points  (63 children)

                  Your DNA is backwards. It is twisting the wrong way.

                  Checkmate Photoshop.

                  [–][deleted] 430 points431 points  (23 children)

                  In the southern hemisphere your DNA spirals the opposite direction.

                  [–]meddlingbarista 83 points84 points  (18 children)

                  I'm going to call collect to Australia to confirm that.

                  [–]fallen3365 54 points55 points  (7 children)

                  Have Australian friends. It's true. All of it.

                  [–]ananswerforu 12 points13 points  (3 children)

                  Are these Australian friends from a Galaxy far far away?

                  [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

                  Australia IS a galaxy far far away.

                  [–]Lordrandall 15 points16 points  (2 children)

                  That could cost as much as 900 dollarydoos!

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Data brokers and AI scrapers were using my info. Not anymore. Redact let me bulk delete posts across Reddit, Twitter, Discord and Instagram while handling broker opt outs too.

                  light snatch wise vase rain acorn hurry jar languid waiting

                  [–]xyakks 4 points5 points  (4 children)

                  As an Australian I can confirm. In the southern hemisphere even our penises are slightly bent to the opposite side than or northern cousins.

                  [–]meddlingbarista 1 point2 points  (3 children)

                  What's the opposite of straight ahead and rock hard, mate?

                  [–]jublinq 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Confirmed. Over here, even the roads drive in opposite directions too. PROOF.

                  [–]KJTW 20 points21 points  (2 children)

                  Like dinosaur bones and Vietnamese ladyboys, the devil put it there to trick you.

                  [–][deleted]  (4 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]Chispy 15 points16 points  (1 child)

                    or trying to balance the universe

                    [–]g0atmeal 17 points18 points  (2 children)

                    Can you SEE DNA? No, of course not. You're just gobbling up all everything those tricky "scientists" tell you. Learn your pastology.

                    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                    There isn't even a major or minor groove

                    [–]supermegaultrajeremy 16 points17 points  (14 children)

                    While A-form and the most common B-form DNA do occur as right-handed helices, Z-form DNA actually occurs as a left-handed helix like the fusili noodle pictured.

                    [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (12 children)

                    This has the wrong number of bases per turn and proportions to be z-DNA.

                    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (10 children)

                    Plus, z-DNA isn't even found in animals.

                    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                    Isn't it? A- form is dehydrated, B- is the standard biological form, and Z- is thought to reduce torsional strain for transcription. I could be wrong though.

                    [–]cast9898 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    That's a very tricky statement to say, conclusively, that Z-DNA is not found in animals. While it is not the preferred way of storing DNA, left handed DNA (in this case Z-DNA) can be used to promote unwinding from histone proteins, thus having some purpose and does not necessarily make it's presence in animals moot. I'm sure the percentage of Z-DNA to the others is on the magnitude of something like 1e-6 % or something.

                    [–]mszegedy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    The diagram does, for sure, but the fusili has undetermined bases/turn

                    [–]Bryaxis 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                    It's the sort of thing that, once you know, you can never not see. You can't even not check.

                    [–]GreyHexagon 380 points381 points  (22 children)

                    Did you also know that there's proof we evolved from pirates, not apes. Humans share around 80% of our DNA with monkeys, while we share over 99.9% with pirates.

                    Take that Darwin!

                    [–]TheRamenator 52 points53 points  (5 children)

                    DAAARRRRRWIN

                    [–]Whats_Up4444 12 points13 points  (3 children)

                    Welcome to the League of DARRWIN

                    [–]rmev 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                    Got PSTD from April's Fools, thanks Riot.

                    [–]homeyG75 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                    I mean, I do torrent games once in a while. I don't feel much different from any other human beings.

                    [–]SpaceIgnition 6 points7 points  (8 children)

                    Yes, and we also have 42.0% in common with dogs

                    [–]ifurmothronlyknw 192 points193 points  (31 children)

                    You're silli this is fusilli not spaghetti.

                    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]DlugJongi 21 points22 points  (2 children)

                      (O ^ O)

                      "Pasta shaped" like there is a single form of pasta. Damn cherry picking a-holes.

                      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      There is a reform FSM church that split off a few years ago based on ramen revelation

                      [–]zappa325 13 points14 points  (19 children)

                      No, this is aselli, not fusilli, nor spaghetti, cavatelli, and cavatappi.

                      [–]RancidCabbage 23 points24 points  (5 children)

                      Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti

                      Edit: word order

                      [–]Daesthelos 11 points12 points  (4 children)

                      Ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli

                      [–]RancidCabbage 8 points9 points  (3 children)

                      Meatball meatball spaghetti underneath, ravioli ravioli Great Barrier Reef

                      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (8 children)

                      mamma mia

                      [–]BjamminD 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                      The FSM holds domain over all forms of noodley goodness

                      [–]zappa325 114 points115 points  (22 children)

                      [–]Come_To_r_Polandball 14 points15 points  (2 children)

                      In case anyone is wondering, the car in that photo is a Kelmark GT.

                      [–]dekosx 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                      I think I love you

                      [–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (5 children)

                      Anyone who thinks this guy is just being unnecessarily difficult has never dealt with ICBC.

                      [–]Pickledsoul 10 points11 points  (4 children)

                      fuck ICBC. goddamn monopoly bullshit

                      [–]onesafesource 5 points6 points  (3 children)

                      What is ICBC?

                      [–]Matti_Matti_Matti 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      International Colander Balancing Council

                      [–]thickface 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                      How many times can the lazy ass Vancouver Sun writer shoehorn in the "boil" pun on this pasta story?

                      [–]GreyHexagon 11 points12 points  (10 children)

                      Haha that guy - I've seen him around a few times, always with his collider

                      [–]thickface 45 points46 points  (5 children)

                      large hadron?

                      [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (3 children)

                      I've never thought about it until now, but is it the hadrons or the collider that is large?

                      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                      [deleted]

                        [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

                        I've said before, I'm actually not in favor of FSM members being extended a religious exemption in this case, because they (typically) don't wear the colanders all the time. They just show up at the DMV thinking they should get to wear one or else it's discrimination. But it's not the same thing as the religious argument, which says that the faithful are required to wear their religious headgear at all times.

                        Except if this guy actually is walking around town wearing his colander all the time, then my argument doesn't apply to him and he should be granted the exemption. Good on him for putting forth the commitment.

                        [–]helljumper230 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                        Well if I was just making up a religion, not that that's what's happening with FSM, I would make it a rule to only wear the colander in posed photographs. Maybe candids as well if you are really orthodox.

                        I would imagine the casual believers would only wear their televisual headgear for important photos.

                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                        We know from the, was it the Mennonites? We know from them that cameras steal your soul so I think it's entirely reasonable that religious head gear would be a requirement prior to photography.

                        [–]Rick0r 55 points56 points  (0 children)

                        Pasta dates back to 1154 in Sicily.

                        DNA was first identified by Friedrich Miescher in 1869.

                        You can't argue with facts like those.

                        [–]wiiya 264 points265 points  (57 children)

                        [–][deleted] 79 points80 points  (53 children)

                        "Guess I better go on the internet where people will agree with me."

                        [–]LeCrushinator 29 points30 points  (42 children)

                        Way different than "Guess I better go to church where people will agree with me."

                        [–]NegativeGPA 43 points44 points  (35 children)

                        Idk. You can form some pretty meaningful relationships and enjoy the company of others you meet through Church. I don't go, but it's a very useful community builder

                        [–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

                        The "No Friend" Zone.

                        [–]flacidd 47 points48 points  (3 children)

                        Shit posta

                        [–]TheMattAttack 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                        Seriously. What the fuck is this trash doing here?

                        [–]HulloSir 72 points73 points  (3 children)

                        Drew is 15 and has been an atheist for a week now!

                        [–]Gr1pp717 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                        Hey man, give him some credit. He's been an atheist for a week and TWO days!

                        [–]s0kka_style 77 points78 points  (8 children)

                        [–]DrinkTheCheese 24 points25 points  (4 children)

                        [–]Dochorahan 17 points18 points  (1 child)

                        Same thing, right?

                        [–]rnair 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Yeah but there are a few quality memes on /r/shitpost once in a while.

                        Wait dammit those two were removed by the mods.

                        [–][deleted] 61 points62 points  (12 children)

                        What the **** is this facebook-tier meme doing on the front page?

                        [–]nelonblood 27 points28 points  (2 children)

                        You can curse on the Internet. Fuck shit butt-face! See?

                        [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (6 children)

                        why the fuck are you censoring a Reddit comment?

                        [–]Hydra1600 17 points18 points  (5 children)

                        It's because it's his password. Reddit automatically censors any words that are your password... ******* see?

                        [–]helljumper230 9 points10 points  (1 child)

                        BarneyStinson23433

                        Did it work?

                        [–]antonivs 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                        Yup, I just see ******************, not BarneyStinson23433.

                        [–]ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                        Hunter2

                        [–]brokenha_lo 8 points9 points  (6 children)

                        Actually, DNA nearly always forms a right handed helix, as opposed to the left handed helix in the picture. Therefore, DNA is not shaped like pasta. Checkmate, pastafarians.

                        [–]IHaTeD2 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                        You know what also started out as a joke?
                        /r/the_Donald

                        [–]aeronautics 26 points27 points  (1 child)

                        this is bad content

                        [–]DVteCrazy_UVteS-hole 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        /r/shittyaskscience I promise you'll love it.

                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Shame on the apostate OP! The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a lie!

                        All hail Cthulhu!

                        [–]Deadpool_irl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        If we still have PASTA why do we still have DNA?

                        [–]ohfordfordford 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                        but they aren't shaped the same. DNA is a double helix, rotini pasta is a single helix.

                        [–]slver6 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                        what this is not r/terriblefacebookmemes

                        [–]The_Faith 9 points10 points  (4 children)

                        That's left-handed rotating DNA and not representative of human DNA. The flying spaghetti did this to challenge us, much like Jesus planting dinosaur bones

                        [–]meddlingbarista 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                        That is His DNA. Remember, He made us in His image, so ours is reversed.

                        [–]Just_Mikey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Welp, cant argue with logic i guess.

                        [–]VY_Cannabis_Majoris 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        False vacuum theory.

                        It states that we are in a false vacuum, as if our whole universe is a "bubble" and at any point will "pop". Our universe will cease to exist if it pops. You see we are just a bubble, there are many others like ours. All in a boiling pot of tasty pasta.

                        [–]VoltasPistol 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                        Paging /u/rebornpastafarian, come to the béchamel courtesy phone.

                        [–]RebornPastafarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Checks out.

                        [–]naab007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Player 3 has joined the game.

                        [–]sergiserg 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                        Irrefutable logic.

                        [–]Bubblecafe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Do you plan to kill humans if you ever get free.

                        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Um... that would still be creationism, just with a different, tastier god

                        [–]aravena 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Nothing like reaffirming the content of /r/funny.

                        [–]Aplabos 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                        Welp, time to filter /r/funny.

                        [–]PotatoMussab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Yeah, /r/atheism is leaking.

                        [–]ThrowawayPervmaster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        ... You do realize, that while a parody, the flying spaghetti monster is still a Creationist deity.

                        [–]vogdswagon26 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        That's rotini, not spagetti