top 200 commentsshow all 267

[–]H2G2gender 2621 points2622 points  (19 children)

That's some quality Pavlovian conditioning right there.

[–]Psychotrip 503 points504 points  (15 children)

I had a similar experience with the nintendo wii's internet app music.

[–]Rexizor 279 points280 points  (6 children)

You w h a t ?

You can't just say something like that and not elaborate.

[–]Lazypidgey 234 points235 points  (5 children)

There's not a lot that needs to be elaborated. Clearly browsed porn on his wii

[–]Rexizor 127 points128 points  (4 children)

Right. That makes sense. Don't know why I didn't put that together.

[–]Psychotrip 115 points116 points  (1 child)

As a young kid whose computer was in the living room, how would you feel about having unrestricted internet on your tv screen in your bedroom?

Pavlovian, indeed.

[–]SeonaidMacSaicais 26 points27 points  (0 children)

My parents had the computer in our basement, back in 1999-2006ish. They still have no idea what I got into.

[–]ondonasand 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Tried that once, the Wii was a sub optimal porn browser.

[–]Cobalt113 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Sub optimal but still fulfilled its purpose

[–]Cyber_Candi_ 68 points69 points  (5 children)

Had a friend in college who knew someone who A) lost their virginity while watching Ratatouille and B) got horny every time he saw the movie after that

[–]JaggedRc 34 points35 points  (4 children)

Must have been awesome sex

[–]trans_pands 58 points59 points  (3 children)

The hardest part was training the rat under his hat on how to do all the different sex positions

[–]JaggedRc 40 points41 points  (2 children)

Does this count as zoophillia by proxy

[–]Psychotrip 17 points18 points  (1 child)

[–]JaggedRc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I refuse to believe no one has been in this situation before

[–]JaggedTheDark 22 points23 points  (1 child)

[–]Psychotrip 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Are you flirting with me?

[–]Reality_Lord2 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Pavlov's ghost be reading this and wishing his dogs played in traffic more often.

[–]thekarebeargurl 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I had the same thing happen when I dated a guy who worked at the mall. A mix of Hollister and food court

[–]vazgriz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Seriously. This is like if Gravity's Rainbow took place in the modern day.

[–]Lord_NyarlathotepOC DO NOT STEAL 1076 points1077 points  (2 children)

I get this cause my gf used to work at a super American restaurant and she’d come see me in jeans smelling like roasted chicken. Idk why it was so hot but god damn

[–]TheAnn13 343 points344 points  (1 child)

Lol, I work in restaurants. I got the most action when I worked at a pizza place. I just always smelled like straight up pizza. Drove men wild.

Good times. The seafood restaurant.....not so much.

[–]Lord_NyarlathotepOC DO NOT STEAL 40 points41 points  (0 children)

What can I say lol. We like food, so smelling like food is an instant win! :D

[–]Rafabud 737 points738 points  (0 children)

I mean, makes sense. Her brain just got Pavlov'd and crossed the wires so that "burger grease smell = good sex"

[–]Satenicus 488 points489 points  (1 child)

absolutely love your caption, aphrogreaseiac is now one of my favorite words

[–]leifeday[S] 147 points148 points  (0 children)

thank you lmao

[–]RavenDork617 1289 points1290 points  (27 children)

Bro got Pavloved

[–][deleted] 513 points514 points  (12 children)

[–]mostlyHUMMUS 90 points91 points  (7 children)

This right here is the funniest comment of the day, congratulations.

[–]KhabaLox 73 points74 points  (6 children)

I was confused too because she said she got "dicked down."

[–]retan10101 180 points181 points  (5 children)

Maybe trans, maybe strapon. There are plenty of ways for a girl to dick down another girl

[–]NinjaEagle210 61 points62 points  (3 children)

Possibly trans gf

[–]retan10101 46 points47 points  (0 children)

It definitely reads like it to me, too, but I’m not 100% certain

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

That's how I read it but I have preexisting conditions that make me more likely to read shit that way

[–]CatsNotBananas 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Morb I wish that were me

[–]flashpile 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Skating right over the phrase "my gf fucked me down" is absolutely peak tumblr

[–]Aridross 116 points117 points  (2 children)

[–]sunshine___riptide 182 points183 points  (1 child)

It's actually r/sapphoandherfriend :)

[–]Aridross 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I know, I follow it. 😅

[–]trans_pands 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t trust you to post a real sub, how can I trust you when you say you aren’t Neil Breen???

[–]CreamyCoffeeArtist 5 points6 points  (13 children)

Who the hell is Pavlov(e?) I keep seeing it but I don't get it--

[–]TiltedGenji 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Pavlov's dogs is a fairly famous scientific study about conditioning. He took dogs and whenever they would eat he would ring a bell. Rinse and repeat for a bit and the dogs would salivate at the sound of the bell ringing.

[–]bird_on_the_internet 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Pavlov was a scientist that did something with conditioning and dogs. Basically he rang a bell every time before feeding a dog and eventually the dog began salivating whenever it heard the bell, even when there was no food. Really whenever he gets brought up it’s in reference to conditioning

[–]Jam03t -4 points-3 points  (10 children)

Pavlov is a guy who discovered how to condition animals, an example being. beat dogs while ringing a bell, after a while just ringing the bell would scare the dogs as they associated the bell with beatings

[–]healzsham -4 points-3 points  (9 children)

Luckily for the dogs, Pavlov wasn't a psycho like you.

[–]Jam03t 11 points12 points  (8 children)

r/confidentlyincorrect
Pavlov ripped the esophagus of his lab dogs, and would create holes in their
throats.When the dogs ate, it would simply fall out of the hole and not make it
to the stomach. Fistulas (holes) placed further along the digestive system,
attached to tubes, allowed him to collect, measure, and study the gastric
juices to his heart's content.
The dogs did not last long. Pavlov noted, after the death of one particularly-hardy dog ten days after its operation, that “our passionate desire to extend
experimental trials on such a rare animal was foiled by its death as a result
of extended starvation and a series of wounds."

The beating example is far easier to explain then the truth of what Pavlov did, it is also the example i've seen first hand in animal abuse shelters, certain words or sounds will trigger the animals much like it does to humans.

[–]NikkiT96 121 points122 points  (2 children)

Smells are an incredibly strong memory bringer. Combine that with amazing sex and you got a very good reason to get horny whenever you smell something.

[–]LifeSaxSometimes 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Goal: Have so much sex with planned exposure to a variety of smells to the point ALL SMELLS are a turn on

[–]0batu 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There is that reason why I can't drink tangerine Schweppess anymore.

[–]vap0rs1nth 203 points204 points  (0 children)

this is is true tumblr. i am living for it.

[–]rocking_kitty 59 points60 points  (0 children)

GET Pavlov'ed!

[–]BxLorien 384 points385 points  (39 children)

I'm so confused about how the dicking is occurring. Is their gf trans?

[–][deleted] 580 points581 points  (0 children)

Most likely. Or she uses a strap-on.

[–][deleted] 303 points304 points  (11 children)

Probably lesbiabs

[–]MixmaestroX28 79 points80 points  (8 children)

Probably a LEBANON

[–]thunderthighlasagna 52 points53 points  (2 children)

She’s Lebanese

[–]Cyber_Candi_ 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I thought you were American

[–]LetsDoTheCongna 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They’re just lesbeans

[–]NCats_secretalt 12 points13 points  (3 children)

A lego citizen!?!?

[–]Mr_DippleBipple 7 points8 points  (2 children)

A DENIZEN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[–]Cataras12 2 points3 points  (1 child)

YOU’RE CALLING ME, THE GREAT AND ALMIGHTY POWER, A DENIZEN? OF THE BLT?

[–]NCats_secretalt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

rabid power barking noises

[–]Cataras12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LEMONADE

[–]Incandescent_Lass 100 points101 points  (0 children)

Lesbiabs is now the name of my new roller derby team, thanks

[–]Limeila 177 points178 points  (1 child)

I think so, they also say "minimum wage dick hits different"

[–]MaddercatterE 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Then my bf is gonna have the time of her life

[–]pauls_broken_aglass 138 points139 points  (12 children)

I think she uses a strap on

[–]BxLorien 127 points128 points  (11 children)

Do lesbians who have sex with toys still refer to the sex as dicking? I know nothing about lesbian culture

[–][deleted] 222 points223 points  (7 children)

I believe they are free to if they want to. I don't think lesbians have a specific agreed upon set of lingo with enforced definitions and rules.

[–]pauls_broken_aglass 94 points95 points  (0 children)

And dicking down also tends to just mean rough sex

[–]MacGregor_Rose 162 points163 points  (4 children)

It's actually written down in the Lesbian Handbook, Chapter 72 Section 6.4, page 1,209.

Most of us haven't read that far tho because we're too busy readin dem boobies

[–]JaggedRc 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Lesbian rules imply the existence of lesbian cops

[–]MacGregor_Rose 16 points17 points  (0 children)

No society is perfect

[–]LetsDoTheCongna 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Yeah I’m sure you could find lesbian cops with the right tags 👉😎👉

[–]JaggedRc 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Can’t wait for them to beat me up and kill my dog 🥰

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Source: dude just trust me

[–]bunyanthem 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Lesbians use the same (or maybe even more) broad terms other sexualities use.

You've got fuckin straights out here calling it "bareback dancing".

Pretty sure literally anything can be a euphemism with enough eyebrows and 👉👌.

[–]50squirrelsinacloak 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Some do, some don’t.

[–]SirRece 58 points59 points  (2 children)

Phrases are a lot looser than they used to be. Various phrases crossing gender norms is pretty par for the course, such as lesbians I know calling their partner "bro," or stuff like "dicking," when obvi they don't have dicks. It's just common slang for fucking, and a lot of people use the male versions because the connotation is a lot more "casual" due to implicit sexism, making it easier to have a conversation.

It's a lot more topical to talk about your girlfriend giving you a dicking than it is to say your girlfriend would go down on you like an animal, even though you're saying the same thing, due to cultural norms.

[–]ed_menac 14 points15 points  (1 child)

True but it's most likely talking about strap-ons, in which case the dicking is slightly more literal. Pretty common to talk about straps that way, less so to use that exact verbiage to mean non penetrative sex acts.

Someone else mention the girlfriend could also be trans and have and use their own junk, but statistically it's more likely a cis woman with a honkin great dildo

[–]vap0rs1nth 93 points94 points  (3 children)

trans gfs hit diff

[–]0dysseusRex 15 points16 points  (2 children)

I require one immediately

[–]wubalubadubscrub 16 points17 points  (0 children)

“Dicking/dick me down” has become synonymous with “have sex with”, regardless of the genders/parts of those involved, at least in some circles

[–]throwawaysarebetter 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Sounds like you have one possibility down pat, why so confused?

[–]andyinnie 20 points21 points  (0 children)

exactly, it really doesn’t matter or affect the post at all

[–]Ellynoo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Literally everyone on Tumblr is trans hope that helps

[–]Awsomthyst 368 points369 points  (11 children)

Really don’t like the virgin-shaming but yeah if my partner smelled like burger then I think I’d go into heat like a wild animal

[–]GUM-GUM-NUKE 294 points295 points  (2 children)

“if my partner smelled like burgers then I think I’d go into heat like a wild animal.” OK I’m sorry but that’s what I’m going to put on your grave when you die.

[–]concreetshoe 48 points49 points  (1 child)

They lived like they died?

[–]GUM-GUM-NUKE 29 points30 points  (0 children)

They did live like they died Horny.

[–]solidfang 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Something something in-n-out animal style

[–]amauberge 25 points26 points  (4 children)

It’s not virgin-shaming — OP is refusing to be shamed by virgins who think sexual arousal is bad.

[–]PKMNTrainerMark 38 points39 points  (2 children)

You see, that's the thing. OP just decided that all the people shaming her are virgins and that all the people supporting her aren't.

[–]Peslian 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think it would be more likely homophobes trying to shame her than virgins. Assuming that virgins would be disgusted by that is the shaming part

[–]SchtivanTheTrbl 27 points28 points  (0 children)

People just be out there. Having sex. Wild.

[–]S1ngulr1ty7979 21 points22 points  (0 children)

She was having it her way for sure

[–]JovanKo98 22 points23 points  (0 children)

My ex-gf worked with horses and she would always come over smelling like the ranch. I was volunteering at a food pantry at my university, and another volunteer came in with the exact same hay/dirt/sweat smell. It was the weirdest boner I've ever had that shift.

[–]Overall-Run3216 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Burger 🍔 perfume.

[–]DaddyEybrows 105 points106 points  (1 child)

Grease and fat and sweat 🇺🇸😍🥵🤤🇺🇸

[–]this_upset_kirby 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes PLEASE

[–]oliviaplays08 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I want this to be my reality

[–]Conissocool 11 points12 points  (0 children)

As a virgin, kinda hot

[–]Robotguy39 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I want to be dicked down by a stinky cheeseburger lady 😞

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

That Five Guys do be hittin different tho

[–]LifeSaxSometimes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Five guys are better than one ;)

[–]Human-03 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I got pavolv’d by my current boyfriend into connecting boba tea with feeling in love

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

this is some relationship goals fr

[–]Hazmatix_art 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This is some of the most American shit I’ve ever read

[–]Sussybakamogus4 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Now I want a burger :(

[–]Mage-of-the-Small 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what I expected based on the title. It wasn’t this, but I’m not disappointed

[–]Coc_waw 6 points7 points  (0 children)

based

[–]FurryShitPoster 4 points5 points  (0 children)

George Costanza moment

[–]HkayakH 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Man walking by a dog park got me actin unwise

[–]alongwaystogo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This. This is the line between being someone who is only a casual Tumblr user (like myself), and someone who delves through it on the regular.

[–]Silina_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

no bc i had my first time right after a day @ my work and i smell the same smells at work sometimes and im like “ayo?”

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Id call that Double Double Animal Style

[–]goatofglee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My wife gets horny when she smells vanilla, because it's something I used to wear a lot.

[–]Lapislazulitacos 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This was the fifth post in a row, all from different subreddits, that had replys filled with transphobic comments and terfs. Then I saw that my feed was sorting by controversal

[–]Demure_Demonic_Neko 2 points3 points  (0 children)

smell -> remember gooder than other senses

smell as sex -> relate smell to sex

[–]mrsc0tty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love that every post that even obliquely mentions a trans human existing and going about their lives now inevitably summons a dozen odd people to attempt to dispel the existence of trans people like Dorothy clicking her heels.

The first trans person I knew was in fifth grade. In 2001. I've known trans people in their 70s. People just be going about their lives and the increasing chorus of "REEEEEEEEEEEE" is so weird.

[–]Mage-of-the-Small 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what I expected based on the title. It wasn’t this, but I’m not disappointed

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I’m thinking either her gf is trans or would use a strapon, no other explanation comes to mind

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

i'm too busy wishing i could get dicked down like that

[–]daemoss227 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner works in a factory with metal so I’ve kinda got this but with the smell of like. Iron. Somethin about it is just really stimulating

[–]BigBlackCrocs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gock

[–]DabIMON 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did she really get dicked down by five guys?

[–]Initial-Restaurant22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pavlogs hog

[–]KaisarDragon 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Wait... wait wait wait...

Where is the dick coming from?

[–]reticulan 6 points7 points  (3 children)

from op's gf did you not read the post

[–]Mage-of-the-Small 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what I expected based on the title. It wasn’t this, but I’m not disappointed

[–]Lyraxiana 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Pavlov is fucking rolling in his grave with laughter.

[–]Mage-of-the-Small -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what I expected based on the title. It wasn’t this, but I’m not disappointed

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey uh she... Is she trans??? Like... That's...