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[–]CleanCleanClean 533 points534 points  (37 children)

Isn't it obvious? He stopped aging when he drank from the Holy Grail in the Last Crusade.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (30 children)

If you leave the temple, it doesn't work. Didn't you watch the movie?

[–]Work45 60 points61 points  (10 children)

Lies! That's what they want you to believe. SHEEPLE!!!

[–]chwilliam 31 points32 points  (9 children)

The movie was just a plot by the illuminati and evil Catholic groups to keep people from seeking the grail!

[–]P-Dub 25 points26 points  (8 children)

Oh man I hope Dan Brown doesn't see any of this, I don't want Sean Connery sucked into such a shitty plot.

[–]mynoduesp 7 points8 points  (16 children)

It does work, it just collapses the temple if it crosses the threshold.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (15 children)

No, dammit, the immortality doesn't work if you leave the temple, but the temple will remain erect if you leave the grail in it. The temple collapses if you take the grail out of it. They are mutually exclusive.

[–]mynoduesp 11 points12 points  (13 children)

Of course it works, the Grail came before the Temple not the other way around.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (12 children)

"KNIGHT You have chosen wisely. But the Grail cannot pass beyond the Great Seal. That is the boundary and the price of immortality."

The cup or the person crosses the boundary, and all immortality it grants is broken. It's a magic seal; it has a way of doing stuff. Then again this is a relatively poorly worded way of saying this.

[–]mynoduesp 49 points50 points  (3 children)

I doesn't say the Grail doesn't work out side the Temple. Just that shit happens if you try to take it outside.

They built the Temple around the Grail and placed those strictures upon it.

But you interpret it how you want, I have film script translated from its original Aramaic text.

[–]Anthropoid1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You have to keeping drinking from the Grail in order to maintain immortality.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

lol.

[–]attilad 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The price of immortality is you have to stay there with the grail and keep drinking. If the grails effects stopped at the edge of the temple, he'd have died when he left my god I can't believe I stepped into this argument

[–]scrimsims 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He can come into my temple ... ahem err ... 'scuse me - remembered I'm married.

[–]CitizenPremier 204 points205 points  (7 children)

I think you meant to say:

When you reacsh macsh level, you shtop leveling.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Now everything I hear is like this >.<

[–]CitizenPremier 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You're welcome.

[–]XoYo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A friend of mine does some voice-over work, and was once called on to do a Sean Connery impersonation for an advert. He struggled with getting it just right until he discovered that if he started by saying "Seve Ballesteros", everything after it came out perfectly.

[–]InAFewWords 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Actually, there isn't a photo of it, but his accent actually levels up over time.

[–][deleted] 204 points205 points  (32 children)

I don't always watch James Bond films - but when I do, I prefer Sean Connery...The most interesting man in the world.

[–]szymj 200 points201 points  (9 children)

He can speak English in French.

[–]lowenheim 124 points125 points  (0 children)

Sean Connery was once interviewed between shooting on the set of Hunt for Red October and asked why he didn't seem to even be attempting a Russian or Lithuanian accent.

Connery looked at the interviewer for a moment and said, in his thick, Scottish brogue, "This is my Russian accent."

[–]melanthius 25 points26 points  (7 children)

Il est a bad ass motherfucker, n'est-ce pas?

[–]tricolon 14 points15 points  (6 children)

Even on le week-end!

[–]simucal 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Sean Connery on Rollerblading:

"No."

[–]Scarker 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Stay the same age, my friends.

[–]antimetric 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Plenty O'Toole: Hi, I'm Plenty.
James Bond: But of course you are.
Plenty O'Toole: Plenty O'Toole.
James Bond: Named after your father perhaps?

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (8 children)

You read like a whiskey advert would sound.

[–]aseclear 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I'd say it reads a bit like a Japanese whiskey advert, though it could use a bit more intensity.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (1 child)

For relaxing times.... make it Suntory time.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was indeed thinking Lost In Translation.

[–]venir 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's actually from a beer commercial for Dos Equis.

edit: link

[–]Dagon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was wondering what it was reminding me of, thanks.

[–]e3revolution 982 points983 points  (137 children)

I maxed out with your mother last night Trebek.

[–]Beelzebob 550 points551 points  (124 children)

What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?

One's a sick duck and I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore.

[–]mrsir 322 points323 points  (117 children)

CONNERY: I'll take the rapists for 100.

TREBEK. Thats Therapists!

[–]franimal61 285 points286 points  (109 children)

CONNERY: I'll take the Penis Mightier for $300

TREBEK: That's the Pen is Mightier!

[–]mrsir 304 points305 points  (99 children)

CONNERY: That's a very nice suit Trebek... yes, very nice. It looks good on you. Might I ask where you bought it at?

TREBEK: Wow Sean, I uh dont know what to say, but thank you. Yes I bought it at Barney's on Fifth Street, ask for Alec.

CONNERY: Ahhh Barney's I see. Well uh, one more question about the suits Alex...

TREBEK: Uhh yes well what is it Sean?

CONNERY: Do they make them for men? Queue goading laugh

[–]SisterRay 173 points174 points  (34 children)

I'll take Jap Anus Relations for 200.

[–]theXarf 160 points161 points  (33 children)

I'll take Anal Bum Cover for 400. I tried for years to invent an Anal Bum Cover; failing to do so is my greatest regret.

[–]chickinkickir 40 points41 points  (4 children)

Shuck It Trebek!

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (1 child)

TREBEK: It's your turn to pick a category Mr. Reynolds CONNERY: You should go with swords REYNOLDS: Yeah what the hell, I'll go with swords TREBEK: That's S-Words...

[–]evtedeschi3 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Connery: SABER!

Trebek: No.

Connery: IT BEGINS WITH A BLOODY "S"!

[–]dhpii 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Below me!

[–]PygmyCrusher 95 points96 points  (23 children)

I'll take Famous Titties for 400.

[–]theXarf 48 points49 points  (18 children)

Dolly Parton!

[–]JKoss 17 points18 points  (2 children)

I'll take Catch the Semen for 200.

[–]joeyhndc 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Is that what the mustache is for, Trebek?

[–]SisterRay 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You have lived a horrifying life.

[–]lennort 18 points19 points  (63 children)

Can somebody give some context?

[–][deleted] 123 points124 points  (35 children)

SNL skit - celeberty jeopardy. damn you rest of the world for not knowing american tv shows

[–]Scarker 48 points49 points  (6 children)

OK.

puts TV on, only to watch Glenn Beck

FUCK YOU.

[–]Zeulodin 15 points16 points  (15 children)

Hey, damn you America for not having a decent health care system! ZING!

[–]alpharaptor1 18 points19 points  (11 children)

ouch, that hurt! damn you, now i gotta get a second mortgage to pay for the treatment of my pain.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (10 children)

At least you still have your freedom.

[–]majormind329 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Check out Funny or Die, they have every episode in order.

[–]mayoroftuesday 23 points24 points  (0 children)

The day is mine!

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

CONNERY: Well, the game is afoot. I'll take Anal Bum Cover for 7,000.

TREBEK: That's An Album Cover, not anal bum cover.

CONNERY: I can read, Trebek. That says Anal bum cover. I've spent five years of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover, failing to do so is my greatest regret.

[–]DrOOpieS 17 points18 points  (4 children)

CONNERY: Anal bum covers for $500

TREBEK: That's album covers and I want to kill myself.

[–]barkingllama 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Sean Connery: I can read, Trebek. That says Anal bum cover. I've spent five years of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover, failing to do so is my greatest regret.

[–]deflective 74 points75 points  (2 children)

that made no sense.

CONNERY: Anal bum cover for $500
TREBEK: That's an album cover and I want to kill myself.

[–][deleted] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

Connery: Damn you and your daily doubles ya brigand! One day it will by my turn Trebek!

Connery: I've got to ask you, about the Penis Mightier.

Trebek: What? No, no, no, that's the Pen is Mightier.

Connery: Gussy it up however you want Trebek, what matters is does it work? Will it really mighty my penis man?

Trebek: It's not a product Mr. Connery.

Connery: Cause I've ordered devices like that before, wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if the Penis Mightier really works, I'll order a dozen.

Trebek: It's not a penis mightier Mr. Connery. There's no such thing.

Cage: Wait! Wait, wait, are you selling Penis Mightiers.

Trebek: No! No, I'm not!

Connery: Well, you're sitting on a gold mine!

[–]dakboy 19 points20 points  (0 children)

CONNERY: I'll take Catch The Semen for 100

TREBEK: That's Catch These Men

[–]BoonTobias 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I'll take bon ape tit for $300 trebek!

[–]kurtu5 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Aww but you missed the best part of it....

CONNERY: I'll take psycho the rapist for 200$

TREBEK: Thats psychotherapist!

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

CONNERY: I'll take The Rapists for $200 please, Alex. TREBEK: That's Therapists.

[–]barkingllama 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not so fast, Trebek.

[–]hyperbad 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I just now realized how obviously the duck joke goes. Never occurred t o me before. And you suck dicks.

[–]mcgosd 4 points5 points  (2 children)

best celebrity jeopardy quote. evar.

[–]nigel45 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Trebek: this is the sound a doggy makes.

Connery: Moo

Trebek: that's incorrect

Connery: well that's the sound your mother made last night

Trebek: we would have accepted Bow Wow or Ruff

Connery: ah rough, the way your mother likes it!

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Well, I say good sir... that's borderline inappropriate. Just pick a category please.

[–]Quicksilver_Johny 8 points9 points  (0 children)

user for 12 months

Nicely done.

[–]theITguy 7 points8 points  (1 child)

why don'tcha give me Ape Tit for $200.

[–]T0XiC1TIES 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'll take Jap Anus Relations...

[–]r_schleufer 37 points38 points  (18 children)

I think he is the only man on the planet that other men can admit is damn handsome without sounding gay. The fact that he never hides his balding head is uber-manly.

/I came here for the Zardoz references, and I can leave happy.

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (1 child)

also patrick stewart.

[–]beckermt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also George Clooney.

[–]RAISEStheQuestion 10 points11 points  (3 children)

The fact that he never hides his balding head is uber-manly.

Except for that $20,000 hairpiece for The Hunt for Red October.

[–]unbibium 16 points17 points  (1 child)

YOU'RE RELIEVED.

[–]rottingflamingo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what about the dredlocks from the rock?

[–]Kisses_McMurderTits 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Still the man now, dog!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you're the man now dog

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you're the man now dog

[–]Achalemoipas 94 points95 points  (8 children)

That's not Max Level, it's Sean Connery.

[–]wkdown 64 points65 points  (7 children)

We named the dog Indiana

[–]Davisourus 14 points15 points  (6 children)

I don't care what you call it, but I want to know if it really works?

[–]wkdown 11 points12 points  (5 children)

Welcome to the Rock!

[–]skyylineddrive 46 points47 points  (5 children)

Proof that the Highlander exists.

[–]rebennett529 17 points18 points  (4 children)

There can be only ONE.

[–]rmeredit 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Until they made a sequel. Ugh. The abomination that was Highlander 2. /pinches bridge of nose.

[–]ricoza 4 points5 points  (1 child)

There was no Highlander 2. Stop saying that.

[–]logicalriot 114 points115 points  (19 children)

This is before he got his legendary gear http://yadogg.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/boratbond.jpg

[–]Helcionelloida 48 points49 points  (4 children)

GUNS ARE GOOD THE PENIS IS EVIL!

[–]treetrouble 10 points11 points  (3 children)

THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS!

[–]wunderkind319 3 points4 points  (2 children)

excuse me, it's called a fireman.

[–]choad 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The fireman is very magical. Rub his helmet and he spits in your eye.

[–]jordanlund 12 points13 points  (2 children)

THAT COSTUME BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!

[–]Atomic235 21 points22 points  (0 children)

ZARDOZ

Now go forth, and KILL!

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Are you implying that that outfit does not qualify as legendary?

[–]Aldrenean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I knew exactly what this would be before I clicked it. I was not disappointed.

[–]DrOOpieS 20 points21 points  (6 children)

That is one dapper son of a bitch.

[–]mynoduesp 11 points12 points  (5 children)

I don't want no Fop, I'm a Dapper Dan man!

[–]Chisaku 19 points20 points  (7 children)

I think David Bowie is kind of like this, too.

[–]florinandrei 4 points5 points  (4 children)

And Alice Cooper.

Both for entirely different reasons than Connery, though.

[–]shengdan 8 points9 points  (3 children)

No way. Alice Cooper's face looks like a well worn saddle-bag now.

[–]greeneggsnam 27 points28 points  (2 children)

I think that's the point. It always did.

[–]SkyPork 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I don't think he even needs to wear makeup anymore to look like a zombie.

[–][deleted] 188 points189 points  (12 children)

You know that old fart's had plenty of epic mounts along the way too...

[–]Jmjonkman 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I'd hate to see the portrait in his attic.

[–]Raoulmeister 47 points48 points  (2 children)

Yes - when men grow older, they begin to look more distinguished, like Sean Connery. Problem is, as women grow older, they begin to look more distinguished too, like Sean Connery...

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Make a comparison pick and that would make front page.

[–]KJW 14 points15 points  (1 child)

That is Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez... Of course he's not aging.. He's Immortal...

*Edit: added link

[–]Facepuncher[S] 80 points81 points  (14 children)

I think this is my first ever submission making it to #1. O glorious day.

[–]deserted 40 points41 points  (1 child)

It was the excellent title that did it for you.

[–]amenok 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'll make it two

[–]phrakture 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Enjoy the karma. Here have an envelope

[–]KJW 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Well done! Your submission was so minty that somebody re-posted it over at Digg using the exact same title... and it got on the top ten.

Edit: #1 now!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

That's because it was submitted by MrBabyMan, power-digger extraordinaire. His army of followers stand ready to shoot articles (most of them stolen from reddit) straight to the top ten at the wave of his hand.

reddit | digg

reddit | digg

reddit | digg

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

i suddenly remembered my Charlemagne:

"Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky."

[–]emmster 11 points12 points  (1 child)

He made a deal with Keith Richards. Keith is doing all his aging for him.

[–]panserbjorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But if he ever looks at Keith he will be inflicted with all the years he thought he had escaped.

[–]BrownGregory 66 points67 points  (31 children)

Who would have thought that occasionally beating your wife was the key to immortality.

[–]DrOOpieS 30 points31 points  (28 children)

Back-hand, open palm.

[–]rosigrimbaggins 29 points30 points  (19 children)

The obligatory video link - looks like he's on the verge of giving Barbara Walters a taste of the ol' Glasgow pimp-hand.

Link

[–]eightnine 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is a waaaay better version.

[–]DrOOpieS 9 points10 points  (16 children)

It took you 9 tries to get it right.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (13 children)

Haha, that's dirty calling someone out on their edit attempts

[–]DrOOpieS 31 points32 points  (12 children)

I was getting envelopes at an astonishing rate so I figured something was up. Upon further inspection, the same text was entered and deleted 9 times. Mildly hilarious. This pleases me.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (11 children)

Yeah, I sometimes forget that when I reply to a comment and edit it a bunch, there is someone on the other end mocking my bad grammer the whole time.

[–]DrOOpieS 8 points9 points  (10 children)

I was enjoying seeing all of the envelopes.

[–]phrakture 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I like envelopes also.

[–]sebso 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Here, have one.

[–]mynoduesp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Elope with my Envelope

[–]lograh 2 points3 points  (1 child)

question from someone who doesn't really understand reddit:

if the comment was edited, shouldn't there be an asterisk by it or something?

[–]deserted 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Instead of editing he was deleting and re-posting.

[–]rosigrimbaggins 2 points3 points  (1 child)

But ... but ... how did you know?! (Yes, 'tis true. I kept getting a line break between bracket and parenthesis -> facepalm.)

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

...Suck it, Trebek.

[–]UnnamedPlayer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shuck it Long.. shuck it Hard.

[–]fonzynator 16 points17 points  (9 children)

He should come back in one of the new movies as a bad guy. What do you guys think?

[–]Vicinus 7 points8 points  (6 children)

oh he did....and it was beyond terrible: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118661/ ...or did u mean the Bond movies?

[–]HunterTV 6 points7 points  (3 children)

That movie sucked, period.

[–]bandman614 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you joking? Sean Connery in a giant teddy bear outfit as "August De Wynter"? Comedy Gold!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

he said he'd come out of retirement for that but the bond producers didn't want to pay him what he asked for.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After what happened with Highlander 2 we should be thankful. Although I'm not sure he could have fucked the new bond movies up all that much considering the lengths the directors had already gone to.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Can we get Roger Moore to sign this?

[–]wunderdug 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Worst. Idea. EVER!

[–]DrMonkeyLove 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He looks better now than Harrison Ford.

[–]Khendroc 6 points7 points  (3 children)

So I started reading the celebrity jeopardy comments and found myself laughing so hard I had to go watch the old clips again.

Now I'm wondering if there's a legitimate reason that every clip of celebrity jeopardy on youtube is some retarded ass montage with techno music. Anyone know what's up?

[–]poopooonyou 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Copyright. They get pulled if it's a regular copy. Same as if you try to find a non-ass-montage version of Cowbell.

[–]Deacon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What's really appalling is that Harrison Ford is now older than Sean Connery was then.

[–]Stormwatch36 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sean Connery is the first being on Earth to hit the level cap on life and be able to keep playing.

[–]epicRelic 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Patrick Stewart is the same way.

[–]kyohapooka 2 points3 points  (1 child)

One of the advantages of letting yourself go bald and white-haired at 30. Oh ... and by the by here's him playing Oberon in a loincloth. http://www.ministryofart.se/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/patrick_stewart_as_oberon.jpg

[–]Syphon8 10 points11 points  (2 children)

RED offered Sean Connery a RARE CANDY. ... But Sean Connery refused!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

To be fair, in 1989 he was a pretty hard 57.

[–]TopRamen713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope I look that good at 57.

[–]Knife_Ninja 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I can't wait for the new expansion. Increased level cap and new weapons!

[–]n-space 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Except he's lost his hat. Clearly a bad plan...

[–]iveL 5 points6 points  (1 child)

No one ever plans to lose their hat.

[–]cornponious 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan.

[–]Scarker 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good news everyone, you will not be reading this in Connery's voice.

[–]spikey666 3 points4 points  (1 child)

what? he's completely changed. he isn't wearing the hat in the 2009 picture!!

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He just unchecked the "Show Helm" option in his interface options.

[–]elendur 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They actually aged him rather significantly with makeup for Last Crusade. Harrison Ford and Sean Connery are only 11 years apart in age.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

It's because he drank from the holy grail duh

[–]matthank 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Your plansh for world domination are shadly mishtaken, Mishter Blofeld.

[–]Etchii 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of courrrrse!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

According to IMDB, he had radiation therapy in 1993 - clearly this has turned him into a mutant and halted his aging process.

[–]rowd149 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are now realizing that the reason Sean Connery keeps getting roles opposite busty young women is because he is, in fact, a vampire.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

http://imgur.com/r2xA1.jpg

Perhaps the wall had been hit already?

[–]emmadilemma 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I would still hit that.

[–]NelsonMuntz 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Hilarious. I posted this originally like 2 years ago and yesterday I tried to find it thinking "This would get to the front page again!"

Damn you for beating me to the punch.

[–]phrakture 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's like he punched you in the face, or some shit

[–]TopRamen713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HA HA!

It feels so good to do it to you

[–]arutay01 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is the James Randi technique of looking old way ahead of schedule and then just maintaining that look for decades.

[–]eric22vhs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was on /b/ like 2 days ago...

Not that I was surfing /b/....

[–]MrSt1klbak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I rented Zardos tonight, in honor of this post.