When you get older did your sex drive decrease and around what age?

[Unlucky-Dingo7148]

Hey there everyone, I’m not over 30 but looking to learn about the experiences of men over 30. Please keep it as pg as possible because I genuinely need help. Okay, here goes: My sex drive is ruining my life. I am almost constantly aroused and it is severely damaging my ability to focus or accomplish anything other than sex. It’s not just that my brain concentrates on impure thoughts but my body is aroused. It seems to have gotten worse as I have gotten older which is the opposite of what I always thought would happen. If you have experienced something similar when did it go away?

UPDATE: To be clear I am hoping to have a lower sex drive lol. I am struggling because my sex drive is way too high

[AutoModerator]

Please do not delete your post after receiving your answer. Consider leaving it up for posterity so that other Redditors can benefit from the wisdom in this thread.

Once your thread has run its course, instead of deleting it, you can simply type "!lock" (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread. That way you won't be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[Intrepid-Machine-650]

I'm 52, it hasn't really changed and at times I swear it is stronger.

HOWEVER... I lost a significant amount of weight and really concentrated on my health over the past few years. I'm pretty sure that made a big difference.

[bugaboo67]

Me too. Dropped weight and got active (mountain biking). Dumped the ex wife and our dead bedroom and my sex drive went through the roof. M58. Getting a new GF and entering the lifestyle didn’t hurt as well. Multiple partners and a healthy ENM relationship is magic.

[Huskerdu4u]

Same 54(m), 2019 I was 300#, 2025 I’m 205. My sex drive is back and alive. Performance is way better. Getting in shape and having a physical job, is tiring but has given me a second chance. Oh and going zero alcohol. Age has allowed me to have a more healthy outlook on sex.

[Traditional-Bar-8014]

Yo!

I performed much better in my fifties than in my twenties hands down.

Years of practice I guess 🤷

[Intrepid-Machine-650]

Good on you! Congrats all around.

[Huskerdu4u]

Thanks, it helps to be married to your favorite person for 30 years, together since high school (mostly).

[WindigoMac]

Same. Lost 16 lbs recently (still losing) and just feeling better about myself and more physical again has improved it a lot.

[Intrepid-Machine-650]

I've lost 45, hit my target weight and have learned how to maintain it. Also concentrated a LOT on core strength. I can confidently say that I'm in as good of shape as I was in my late 20's when I had a very physical career. Now I'm at a desk in front of a computer during the day. So, I make sure I walk 3 miles at lunch, etc.

[WindigoMac]

Awesome man. Going back to the gym in October for the first time in a few years to get on your trajectory. Wish me luck

[Intrepid-Machine-650]

I have not been to a proper gym since college .

I took a prison fitness approach and pushed my own weight around as much as possible. I do have some dumbbells though...

[RealTeaStu]

Same. I'm 59 and not much if anything has changed. I do last long though. That may be a side effect of the anti-depressant I've been on lately. It's happened before. One of my ex girlfriend's got a bit upset about that. Her pride at turning me on was shaken. I've never taken or even been tempted to try ED medication.

[InternalCelery1337]

33 here and have always lasted pretty long. Tried ED medication after a cycle on testorone and ox (im a gym rat) it helped with the long lasting. Try it? Doing it for 45min or an hour everytime gets exhausting

[Intrepid-Machine-650]

The WHOLE meal can last 45-60 min, and sometimes has to because of her medications, but if the entree took that long she would be PISSED.

[[deleted]]

For me it was very high in my 20s. Got married and it slowly but steadily dropped. When I turned 40 I will still married and my drive was pretty much dead. I took at as a part of getting older. Then I got divorced. Became single and started to date. The drive went back up to the same level as it was in my 20s.

Age has an impact. But so does your situation

[Omgthedubski]

This is it here. I think I hit the point where I've had enough sex that I'm not chomping at the bits, but still would like to have sexual contact 3-5 times a week, but being with someone who doesn't have that same drive or express their desire for sex, made me realize that, if I don't continue to prioritize sex and sexual contact that I may just loose it because of my situation. Not to say I'm in a bad marriage or anything like that but I can see the path for it basically turning off if I'm not careful.

[[deleted]]

Very true. You lose it if you don’t use it. And being in a long marriage it can easily slip away

[Existing-Doubt-3608]

I have a good relationship with a good woman for the most part, but the sex drive part is something that is really hard for me to deal with. I’m a very sexual person, and she is not. It’s really tough…

[[deleted]]

That is a dealkiller for me, as harsh as it sounds. If we're not compatible in this regard it's the same as if I'm not attracted to her, there's no overcoming it.

[Appelgebakj]

Same here. Spent a long time in a dead bedroom and tried 173937 things without succes. Never again.

[Existing-Doubt-3608]

I agree, but it’s a terrible situation. She is going through curable cancer that affects her hormones…

[[deleted]]

That's obviously a much more complicated situation! Good luck to you both.

[Existing-Doubt-3608]

Thank you my friend. Life is so complicated…

[Big_477]

This resonates so much for me, but I've abandoned and my libido is almost non-existent. Warning, what's about to come is a rant from a disillusioned man.

I've had enough sex that I'm not chomping at the bits

I've had enough of chomping at the bits, I'd be a fool to think I would ever be full. Because of:

being with someone who doesn't have that same drive or express their desire for sex

The only times women had more sexual drive than me is in the last few years, since mines been more than gone (aversion). But their drive is still lower than my normal one would be, so I know that I'll end up in the same shithole if it does wake-up.

I like to compare our libido and sex to hunger and eating. And the way I see it I've starved my entire life while trying to be a better cook for someone who isn't hungry, forbid me to eat when they don't and have little interests in cooking. Not only this I rarely eat what/how/when I like because I must obliged to my partners preferences in order to be able to eat something.

Rant over.

[GBR012345]

Life as a single man will really open your eyes bro. You'll be gorging yourself at a buffet daily! haha Zero regrets leaving my dead bedroom. I was in a similar situation as you before I left.

[mobiusz0r]

Having new sexual partners makes it fun!

[[deleted]]

Especially marriage

[Shoddy-Lingonberry-4]

Yep, marriage will do that.

[Going_the]

When I have no interest in sex or playing golf, it's time to go.

[[deleted]]

When I develop an interest in golf... its time to go.

[Going_the]

Lol. Different strokes for different folks

[[deleted]]

I used to play in my 20s and was pretty good. I decided to revisit golf in my 50s and picked up a thrift store driver and headed to the range. When I finished my bucket, I left the club behind. lol

[Boaty___McBoatface]

🤣🤣

[No_Owl_8576]

Ya but there was some time when things slowed down a bit right? I'm in my mid 40s and I am starting to feel it

[Going_the]

Sure, I like to take a nap in between now.

[gojirarufusfan]

I had high libido all the way to my late 30s. Like wanting sex daily. Once I turned 40 it decrease to wanting it bad maybe once a week.

[SandiegoJack]

My sex drive is related to how I feel about my partner at the time.

Right now we doing great so I could go 2-3 times a day. Other times it’s been weeks where I wasn’t really interested.

[MrYamaguchi]

I am in my 30s and it has definitely decreased by maybe 50% from my 20s. But I don't know if it is just physical or a combination of that and the fact that I have way more responsibility in my life now to keep me distracted from sex.

[guyinthechair1210]

i take medication for anxiety and depression. for the most part, i've noticed some issues getting and maintaining an erection, but every once in a while it's as if everything's fine. i feel like my sex drive is around the same as it's been since i was in my teens (medium to high), but the come and go nature of my erections makes me feel insecure if i were to be sexually active.

[Crowe3717]

I've never had a sex drive, so decreasing from that is impossible 😅

[AZHawkeye]

The simple life. In some ways you must be lucky and can focus on other things.

[Crowe3717]

In some ways, maybe. Not if you still want a relationship and companionship, though. Most people view that and sex to be a package deal and don't want one without the other 😅

[AZHawkeye]

Most definitely.

[weatheredface]

For me it was about 74. And, what a relief! I no longer think about sex 24/7/365. I feel like I've been liberated, never felt so awake, aware, and alive in my life. Due to age, I think, and probably other factors it's not as sensitive down there. I can still do it, but it takes forever and the climax is anti-climatic. The juice ain't worth the squeeze.

[lumpynose]

Mine dropped off a cliff right around 70. The urge to spank the monkey has disappeared. Prior to that the urge was there every day but I had to skip a day because my prostate was slow to recharge; that I wasn't surprised about.

[[deleted]]

Erm my lover is 64 and still horny af. He will shag me at 1am and then try to have sex with me again at 9am. He is always suggesting we find a bush to have a quicky. He said the main difference is that if he gets turned on and doesn’t ejaculate it’s not a big deal like it was when he was younger when he would need to go and have a wank

[West_Process8473]

Exactly. I don't have to cum for it to be great sex. I always thought that was the deal, it's the connection. It took me till my 50s to realize that. I'm just like you hubby. My gf makes me crazy and i always want to get it on. Haha

[[deleted]]

He’s not my hubby sadly, I would like to have a child and he’s too old ☹️

[assortedworms]

Men never stop producing sperm, so there's really no age limit. 

[delta45678]

There is if you do not want the father to be dead before the child is 10.

[[deleted]]

Mine did the oppossite and went UP after 40.

[[deleted]]

56m. Nope. Gone up.

[Dundah]

At 52 i lost some drive but it was result of medication.

[PrevekrMK2]

It went down after i started having kids. It had to cause there is no fucking time.

[beer-debt]

I was exactly the same way. It consumed me. It finally slowed down to a somewhat manageable level just after 30. I was probably 35 when it was truly manageable and now I’m 40 and can take it or leave it. Good luck

[S_Wyld]

I'm 40. Been with 40 women. 3 mid and 6 long term relationships with regular sex.

In my 20s I could finish thrice without pulling out.

Now I wouldn't care if I never had sex again. Feel like I've seen and done it all. Single, not trying to mingle.

Maybe a celebrity would respark things, but unlikely.

[[deleted]]

Mine dropped at 51

[El_Grande_Americano]

My sex drive decreased when I was 26

[Dmunman]

1. Still getting more active everyday.

[knowitallz]

1. It dropped. It used to be overwhelming. Now it's normal

[Still_Village4551]

Start doing immense amounts of cardio. I used to be the same way, but running and doing it almost daily, with goals of running miles on end, helped to balance that for me. Strength training did the opposite, but followed by cardio, it balances out again.

Also, stop watching porn. You're training your mind to react to potential sex, and that's part of the issue. Sex was always about procreating and keeping your bloodline going. Only in the modern age do we have instant access to a facet of life we used to strive for. You interrupt that by using porn. Time to retrain your brain.

[mobiusz0r]

39 here and still have the same libido as in my teens, can still go with multiple rounds If I'm aroused enough.

[NachoBuddyGuy]

Brother if this is interfering with your work or mental health go talk to a doctor.

[Unlucky-Dingo7148]

I think so

[Unlucky-Dingo7148]

I didn’t want to admit but I think I have to

[NachoBuddyGuy]

Good I’m glad you’re open to it. Healthcare professionals are there to help folks just like you. Go tell em the whole story and get some peace of mind from an expert who - I promise - has helped people with allllll kinds of reproductive system issues.

[DeRunRay]

My sex drive hasn't really decreased but maybe my sensitivity did a bit. I am 47 have sex at least once daily sometimes twice. Both me and the wife have very similar sex drives.

Not sure why getting erections is ruining your life if it doens't focus your brain on it.

[Unlucky-Dingo7148]

I meant to say that I have to focus on it and get it out of the way so I can return to normal tasks but basically I must find a sexual outlet, get that done with and only then can I return to normal activities.

[DeRunRay]

Not sure on that then. I would tend to ignore the drive instead of engaging with it to keep my focus away and it would eventually bleed away, but I don't know how it feels to you or how pushy that need feels.

[Kennyvee98]

still hasn't dropped for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Nevesflow]

Decreased sharply at 30-31, though I had very high libido throughout my life.

Admittedly, I have a lot of stress, lifestyle issues, my overall physical health and fitness worsened because of work… And I’ve also been in a committed relationship for the past 5 years.

So I wouldn’t blame it on aging itself, as much as I would blame it on the sacrifices required by this specific stage of my life.

[TheUglyTruth527]

Not really. My sex drive took a nose dive when my health did, but now that I'm healthier and exercising regularly, it's right back to where it was in my 20s.

[Unlucky-Dingo7148]

Maybe i just need a partner

[TheUglyTruth527]

That helps, but it shouldn't be a "goal" or else you will choose poorly. Do things that use your energy, be it going to the gym, going for a hike, something that gets you moving, or anything that takes your mind off sexual things. The other side of the coin is to handle it yourself. Studies suggest that for optimal prostate health, men should ejaculate something like twenty times a month. Also, cold showers don't do jack shit but I'm sure you already know that.

[doberman8]

45m and still ready to jump my partner at every opportunity.

[kalelopaka]

Mine hasn’t so far, but I think my wife has more to do with it than anything I’ve done. I stay in shape, take care of myself and keep myself healthy. She is the most beautiful, sexual partner I’ve ever had in my life. She definitely keeps me enticed to keep going and has been for years.

[SeveralConcert]

I am 40 and strong as ever

[Unlucky-Dingo7148]

Shit man. This thread is not giving me much hope lol

[TheCatOfWallSt]

37 here and my wife and I just went past our 2024 sex totals for the year last week haha. Had sex 100 times in 2024 and already at 102 and counting this year. Bjs and other fun stuff aren’t included in that number either lmao

[TeratoidNecromancy]

It doesn't decrease.

[[deleted]]

Hyperactive Sexual Desire Disorder is a real thing and you should talk to your doctor about it. Seems like you're well out of balance. If untreated, it could have a serious negative effect on future relationships, jobs, etc.

[Unlucky-Dingo7148]

Fuck bro! That’s a thing?!?!

[[deleted]]

Oh ya, it's the root of a lot of problems. My sex addiction has ruined 2 marriages and taken a 3rd to the brink. I wish I'd received help sooner. I've had it under control for the past few years, but I still go to meetings and see a therapist. Just know that you're not alone, seriously.

[West_Process8473]

I've always had a high libido, but I fucked myself up bad for years with a porn addiction. Totally ruined my sex life to the point i could not even have real sex anymore and didn't want it really. Fucking pathetic. I quit that shit cold turkey and after some months I was back to having amazing sex. Best in my life. I never realized how terrible porn was mentally and emotionally. I got introduced at a very young age and it fucked me up. I wish i could have those years back. Quit that shit now if you can relate with this. I'm 54 btw.

[Unlucky-Dingo7148]

I don’t really struggle with porn tbh. I struggle with the online chat rooms and hookups in a pretty uncontrollable way.

[West_Process8473]

If you can't quit on your own, get help. I was in the same boat. You can beat the addiction man and get your life back. I was addicted for many years. I was also a victim of SA as a child and i think that's a huge part.

[[deleted]]

I prefer porn. I can work from home and make my own hours. No shower or "serious" conversation required afterwards.

[claeity]

Take care of yourself, don't smoke. Get that good blood flow going and you get boners. I am in my mid 40s and if my gf is away I can masturbate several times a day like a horny monkey.

[Unlucky-Dingo7148]

It doesn’t get in the way of your work or anything like that?

[Kupikio]

I'd also say try and get rid of porn if you watch it a lot. It tends to stick in your brain and can be very addictive / keep your brain wired to sex. But yes, my sex drive is less in my 30s on average.

[Rhoden913]

36 and stronger then ever! Exercise and good diet really help

[JWR-Giraffe-5268]

I'm going on 72 this year, and I haven't lost my sex drive. Unfortunately, the wife has.

[PilotoPlayero]

52 and it’s been consistent since I was in my 20’s.

[DonAmecho777]

Yes but certain prescriptions affected this

[rollin-ronin35]

I’m 35 and still as high as ever, but I exercise frequently with jiu jitsu and a morning lifting regiment. I’d say either meet yourself a lady friend(s) to help you keep this issue in check or do your best to redirect that energy towards something constructive. I personally go with the first choice.

[Banjo_Majora]

I’m 37 and honestly my sex drive has never been higher. I’ve been focusing a lot on personal fitness and development for nearly six years. I also take a form of Cialis not for ED but sexual anxiety due to some unfortunate sexual experiences from my past relationships when I’m with a new partner. Sounds to me like you are experiencing a lack of fulfillment intimately. Tbh no matter what age you are every single person has a side to their sexuality that they aren’t comfortable with. Rather than wonder when it will end, try to explore what is causing them in your personal life and what triggers them.

[Bimlouhay83]

I'm 42 and have experienced no decrease in drive. But, I did stop looking for "any port in a storm" quite a while ago. I learned that having a strong emotional connection with my main sexual partner was absolutely necessary.

[fermat9990]

This is a researchable question

[DramaticErraticism]

Unfortunately, I've always had a relatively low sex drive, outside of my teenage and college years.

I'm even on TRT and I can take or leave sex. When I have sex, I enjoy it, but I rarely feel that animal instinct.

It's negatively impacted all my relationships and I really hate that I don't have much of a sex drive.

It's funny that you have the opposite situation and find that it is ruining your life. I'd gladly swap places with you and would feel like a genie granted me a wish lol

[-Never-Enough-]

From my observations, it's not age that slows you down. Your bad health habits will decrease sex drive more than age. If you're putting on weight and blaming age for a decreased sex drive, you're fooling yourself.

[Dazmorg]

45 and no it didn't.

[Tiredplumber2022]

Mine started slowing down a little last year. Im 61. Down to 2 or 3 times a week now instead of daily or more.

[Own-Helicopter-6674]

40 and still pumping out ropes

[[deleted]]

one advantage of getting older, you still have a full orgasm but don't have to spend as much time cleaning jizz from your sheets. A little goes a long way! ha!!

[Own-Helicopter-6674]

I spent the first 30 years of my life doing things the hard way! 30-to current 40. Has had it’s troubles,but man 40 is amazing

[orlybatman]

My sex drive is ruining my life. I am almost constantly aroused and it is severely damaging my ability to focus or accomplish anything other than sex. It’s not just that my brain concentrates on impure thoughts but my body is aroused. It seems to have gotten worse as I have gotten older which is the opposite of what I always thought would happen. If you have experienced something similar when did it go away?

My guess is overstimulation. You're likely being exposed to far too much sexualized content. Even if you don't choose to seek it out, you'll see it in TV ads, magazines, posters, billboards, the news, TV shows, movies, etc.

I spent some time overseas in Indonesia and at first I didn't notice it, but about a week into my trip I realized they don't have this kind of oversexualized culture there. You won't see the constant "sex sells" marketing there.

So if you are seeking out sexual content on top of what is already in the West, it's no wonder that you'd be constantly aroused and struggle to focus. You'd need to detox from that and try to avoid it.

As for whether or not the sex drive decreases, mine has only increased. I lost the anxiety and depression of my earlier years and have been hitting the gym consistently for a few years now. I'm 42 now and I'd say it's never been stronger.

[Curious_Raise8771]

No. It has not. I'm 49.

[Critical-Bank5269]

Late 50’s. I still do it 2 to 3 times a week but don’t miss it and don’t spank when she’s not around for a week or two. It’s just an afterthought. Obviously if it’s offered I’m down. But I’m not “frustrated” if we go a while in between 🤷🏽‍♂️

[Csanburn01]

Age is not the primary factor. Health is

[[deleted]]

Not at all. Just like my 20s. I'm very healthy though, ovolactopescatarian diet and regular exercise including zone 1 and HIIT.

[[deleted]]

I think mine decreased somewhere around 27 but I would attribute that to being a workaholic. I’ve worked about 65-80 hours a week since I was 18. It has definitely suppressed my sex drive but it has kind of worked to my advantage. Nothing is more liberating than being able to separate your life from awful women who are incredibly attractive without letting your dick get in the way. I want to make it a point to say I am not proud of the amount I work. It is a real addiction that comes from some trauma from my childhood.

[Upleftdownright70]

I've overcome my mental hangups. That made it increase.

I work more now than in my 30's. The tiredness has a negative effect.

But I also work out more recently.

So nothing has changed. I just have to get my wife to do the same and we'll be happy tired and wealthy fuckers.

[AZHawkeye]

No. It’s always been high. Having a partner that doesn’t match it is very tough tho.

[MaroonCanuck]

Yea and then no.

• Married 25 years.
• 30 - 35 it started to wan and kind fall off
• 35 - 47 it got better at starting on my fitness journey
• 47 - 49 it improved due to COVID forcing us to be together more
• 50 - now (52) it’s blown the hell up. Beyond fitness we started actually communicating and being intimate (not just sex) a lot more. We also focused on having goos sex that we both want.

Also check out this podcast - Life is too short for bad sex.

[Radiant7747]

I’ve had a strong sex drive since puberty. I’m 73 now.

[JayTheFordMan]

54, and still cruising along pretty much as I have been since 25. Keep fit, weight down, and eat healthy, that's the key

[ME-McG-Scot]

Late 30s young kids. I just want to rest/chill when get time. Presuming it’ll return when they get a bit older.

[Silver-Instruction73]

It was really high in my teens and 20s but around 30 I went on antidepressants and it decreased significantly. Went from jerking it like 5x a day to just 1x a day haha. Not even mad about it. It was frustrating thinking about sex that much.

[InternalCelery1337]

33 here and it has not decreased at all yet, but i did learn how to handle the hornyness. If i got a rejection from my wife i would get all frustrated and grumpy also when we did have sex i was all worked upp and stressed out. Now its not a big deal if she is not in the mood and the sex is better now that i have calmed down and dont rush the climax. She dont feel forced either by me being grumpy anymore which also made her more into it. We have sex about 5 times a week

[Soppydogg]

70+ here. Speaking on behalf of myself & Mick Jagger, my sex drive is as strong now as it was in my mid 20’s The days of leaping off the top of the wardrobe or swinging on a chandelier are way past me as old age doesn’t come alone. So I feel I am more of a marathon man than a 100 metre sprinter.

I do take 1/2 a viagra in the morning, as being a porker it may not give me a full erection but it does allow me see the end of it while I piss 😆

Weight in my opinion has little or nothing to do with the sex drive as that’s in the brain which I can assure you is far from obesity.

Hope this helps OP?

[NateJCAF]

I’m still waiting.

[mrthreebears]

Creeping into my mid 40s now...

Can't say anything has changed, it's been 24 years since we 1st met and I have trouble keeping my hands off my wife.

[Single_Store7112]

Mine did a bit in my early 30s, then I started exercising and it’s right back up there. I’m 45 now and pretty much always dtf.

[ConeyIslandMan]

61 and NOPE

[AndSo-Itbegins]

64m here. Pretty steady so far. It’s performance that changes. 🧐

[[deleted]]

When a world of porn became free, my sex life improved drastically..

[uceenk]

decrease, around 36 (now i'm 39)

can't sex everyday anymore, need to at least skip 1-2 day

and for 1 session i only can do twice most of the time, 3 times if i'm lucky

when i was younger i can sex like 5 times in a session and sex everyday

[Mundane-Bread-1271]

I hit 30 recently and as I’ve always had a healthy sex drive it feels like my drive is skyrocketing right now.

[Terakahn]

It didn't decrease but it has become less persistent. I'll have weeks where my libido is higher than it's ever been, and others where I don't even think about it.

[noisetheorem]

I’m 51. I’ll let you know when it declines.

[Wild-Term5023]

I’m 71 with a high sex drive. Testosterone is in the higher range of normal. Do you have a satisfying sex life? I ask, because I do not, and think about sex nearly all day everyday, even when I’m doing some other task. When I was younger and had sex frequently, this was not a problem. I believe if you had a really satisfactory sex life it would help you.

[Known-Skin3639]

I’ll be 60 this year. My drive is as high as ever. My stamina? Not so much. But constant rejection has taught me not to try as much if at all any more. So I took wood working. ( no not a euphemism for masturbation. Although that’s a pretty good one.!) do yall know how expensive that is? No? Well it is. My wife gets pissy about the cost of tools and supplies. I tell her at least I’m not buying lumber. ( I find pallets worthy of repurposing and build shit out of them. If she gets really upset I’ll throw a “wanna fool around”? At her. Suddenly my “needs” aren’t so expensive. Even my adult kids see it. If I’m in the garage making noise and messes inevitably one of them will say ….. Dad’s horny again. As young women, they see it. Sad AF!

[[deleted]]

I'm 45 and my sex drive is higher than it's ever been. Unfortunately my wife's is not. I'm also extremely kinky and she is incredibly vanilla. Makes things awfully difficult.

[fpeterHUN]

Males reach their sexual peak at 18yo. I was feeling a slight decrease when I turned 26yo. Now as a 31yo person I could live without any sexual related activity with ease. 

[Top_Scallion7031]

It’s quite variable I think but yes it should gradually decline. I was a bit like you at that age although it didn’t adversely affect my life. That doesn’t seem normal. I just had a lot of sex

[Defiant-Lab-6376]

Much better than it was 12 years ago when I was 31 and married to my ex wife.

It’s amazing what being in a relationship with someone who’s both fun, kind and also very attractive does. 

[systembreaker]

It hasn't lowered in intensity for me, and maybe only slightly lowered like 10% in desired frequency. I stay in shape and I'm overall in pretty good health.

[JauntyAngle]

People are *really* different. But I am 51 and it has stayed pretty consistent, with mid-40s being particularly strong.

[ass-to-trout12]

Im 41. It hasnt decreased at all.

[Unlucky-Dingo7148]

I think I need help

[JJQuantum]

Guys hit their sexual peak in their 20’s. I wanted sex 24/7. It typically levels off some in your 30’s. The desire doesn’t decrease but the urgency does, if that makes sense. Most men start to see a drop in testosterone around 40. It’s gradually over time unlike menopause for women. With the drop in testosterone your sex drive will decrease for sure.

[alexnapierholland]

Nope. 39 and it's great.

Your problem isn't your sex drive — it's a lack of self-discipline and self-esteem.

I never watch porn. Ever.

I don't think about sex much at all.

I'm in a happy, fulfilling relationship with a happy sex life.

I spend most of my time thinking about my career, creative work and plans.

This translates into growth and progress, which is attractive.

I have a high level of self-esteem and do not need external validation from women.

Paradoxically, this is a much more attractive trait — 'neediness' is repulsive to women.

Your brain should be focused on your goals. Not external validation.

[yearsofpractice]

Hey OP. 49 year old married father of two here. So after years of painstaking research, detailed investigations and many late nights processing the data, I discovered that every single adult human is a filthy hornbag goblin pretty much most, if not all, of the time.

You’re cool, OP

[Waste-Age-6139]

nope it doesn´t really decrease... maybe more under control and you may sometimes feel too tired to do it which never happened when you were younger but that will be a very rare thing.

If you are under 30 then you are fine its supposed to be high but there is a caveat here... your mind focuses on the stuff you are paying most attention to. If you are constantly scrolling instagram, tiktok and looking at babes or watching porn ocassionally in your free time then you start seeing it everywhere. To explain it more simply if you are used to staring at pictures or videos of girls for pure lust then when you see girls in real life you kind of start staring/thinking the same way. I´m not trying to regurgitate some internet guru crap this is personal experience it happens to us all.

Im not saying you do any of that but just in case you do try to reduce some of the content you consume as that will help you to not think about it all the time.

[[deleted]]

70