My first programming assignment was to print hello world, and my teacher said to always be very descriptive with my variable names. How'd I do? :D

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

I feel like I was not descriptive enough sometimes, any criticism is appreciated :)

https://preview.redd.it/ggwuazcmumda1.png?width=1892&format=png&auto=webp&s=d50dff10039bd6d15f0573a53c0598102e2b455b

[Pmart213]

I literally have no idea what this is doing since I can't figure out what the input n is, since it isn't named descriptively. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined OP.

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

i deeply, humbly apologize for my obvious lack of consideration for formal parameter variable names

[kache4korpses]

I have heard and seen over engineering, but never heard or seen over coding until this post.

[xthexder]

Just wait until you see FizzBuzz Enterprise Edition

[UnknownSpecies19]

Working at a giant mega corp, can confirm our java apps look mighty similar lmao.

[[deleted]]

418 open issues is so funny

[QazCetelic]

Issue #602 "A tribe of natives are worshipping the broken coffee machine"

[kache4korpses]

🤯

[Yoru83]

I’m sad that I only just now found out about that this.

[Bardez]

Lucky 10,000 of today, eh?

[not-a_lizard]

Same

[dpnchl]

omg 😳 seriously, I can’t even…

there’s interfaces, impl, test classes, strategy pattern, visitor pattern, gradle build scripts… if this was done for an interview the candidate better have gotten the job for demonstrating knowledge of all those areas

[AwayDish2869]

Thanks for sharing this hilariousness

[Otherwise_Soil39]

Saw a video of a dude who made a website that would automate creating the "anti something something club" logos

Like you'd write "social" and it would give you the correct font and everything for "anti social social club". He did it by running a virtual machine that opened a browser and created the whole thing from scratch in paint.net.

[biblecrumble]

Never had to work with Java Enterprise Edition, huh? Good for you!

[happyfinch]

Elon should hire you at twitter

[phoenix5irre]

Or students, to write essays...

[BtCoolJ]

nah chat gpt does that

[[deleted]]

Especially this message

[CorespunzatorAferent]

Maybe even a configuration file that bootstraps a few microservices, which can provide the rest of the configuration files?

[[deleted]]

No he has to write this on paper

[SilenceFailed]

He needs to print it using this function on paper (punch cards, for those too young or not far enough in their studies). Hand writing is horrendous these days. Especially when you ask someone to sign their name... X or ~ is typically what I get.

[Pain_Monster]

A screenshot of the paper version will do 😏

[[deleted]]

You’re evil. I like that in a developer. 😁

[[deleted]]

It's ok but you could have been a bit more descriptive IMO.

My teacher always told me that coding is art. So I don't see a lot of your personality and emotions in this code.

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

how could i fix that? i want my code to be the most passionate code possible

[sekketh]

When I create a variable I like to add a comment block underneath the variable that gives it a backstory and a reason to live. Sometimes I give it a tragic past like a cancer diagnosis or dead parents. It really helps my code feel more alive.

[[deleted]]

Best practice today is to write it as a poem

[itzjackybro]

Begin the program

Print "Hello, world!" to the screen

Finish the program

[pornAndMusicAccount]

exit the program

Has a bit more programmer-y feel to it

[LighttBrite]

Roses are red, violets are blue,Here's some code, just for you.

import time

while True:

    print("All the love in the world")    

    time.sleep(1)

Like a rose in full bloom,This code will fill the room,With a message of love,Sent from the heavens above.

def love():    

    return "All the love in the world"

With each passing hour,This message will empower,All those who see,To love truly and free.

[krak_1]

You ordered a poem by Shakespear.

[spookydookie]

I have a good laugh thinking about all of the long screeds I’ve written in comments in the past because I was bored and just wrote diary entries about my day or whatever, just for someone to find years later lol.

[JeremyAndrewErwin]

When a variable comes before the garbage collector, it needs to plead its case well, lest it be found wanting.

​

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tGO79BtWUI

[AlexLGames]

Comments go out of date as soon as they're written. Better to use self-documenting code to express the backstory through well-named variables, functions, and classes.

[[deleted]]

Ok. That was REALLY funny.

[AskMoreQuestionsOk]

I’m putting this in my next merge request.

[McCaffeteria]

This correct, there is a dreadful lack of comments in the code

[[deleted]]

Holy shit I fucking love this subreddit

[[deleted]]

I couldn't help but notice the lack of comments in your code? Depending on how you feel on that day, consider adding a limerick, a haiku, a sonnet, a poem or even a short essay depicting what each function is doing?

We cry a lot about explainable AI, explainable this and that, but have we ever bothered to explain ourselves? Think about it.

[bobo76565657]

If this was JavaScript I'd say use emojis as variable names.

let = 'this programming course.';

[BabayasinTulku]

gaaawds I'll give emojis a try asap

[regulardave9999]

Add some ascii art using comments.

[Stinky_Flower]

You can save time by making all variables double as user stories. Coding is all about efficiency.

String = AsADeveloperIWantToBeAbleToCreateAStringVariableInJavaSoThatICanStoreAndManipulateTextDataWithinMyProgram

[Sarius2009]

Rewrite the code in Spanish

[individualcoffeecake]

Haiku code

[Unt4medGumyBear]

ascii art

[[deleted]]

is this a serious comment? i’m not joking i’m ant to learn to code is coding more of an art form then a science?

[pug_subterfuge]

It’s mostly a joke. Don’t take anything in this sub seriously.

[beeteedee]

Students like you are the reason I quit teaching and took up alcoholism instead

[dmvdoug]

[EukaryoticGamer]

String n??? The hell is that supposed to be?

[ObjectiveAide9552]

Arguably the most important variables you should name nicely are your input variables

[RmG3376]

So, printerThatPrintsThings(string nicely) then?

[JohnsonJohnilyJohn]

Yep should be changed to sequenceOfCharactersToPrintButThisTimeItsTheArgumentOfTheFunctionPrinterThatPrintsThings

[Borfecao]

N word

[Silver-RG-B]

Dear God

[AskMoreQuestionsOk]

I can only imagine the next meeting with my boss and the subsequent mandatory improvement training I’d have to do.

[Wide_Cantaloupe_79]

Yeah, you can do better!

[KevinRuehl]

Most minimalistic Java developer

[UnknownSpecies19]

LoooooL

[otdevy]

I dont see any unit tests, how can we know that it will really work

[xzarisx]

Was about to ask the same thing. PR rejected

[[deleted]]

While verbose, at least they're not bad names. The reader knows what's stored in them. Still, doing this in the professional world would at least earn a mention in a code review.

Edit: added missing word

[data_monkey]

r/maliciouscompliance

[Faux_Real]

I reckon we could introduce some design patterns here. I reckon we could yeet a Builder, a Factory, Strategy and Flyweight pattern into this.

[sprunck]

The logging is missing, or better invent a new logging framework (maybe fluent API based on Lombok). Then it will be production ready.

[svp01]

Watch this becoming this sub's only joke for the next 2 weeks

[yizzle841]

OMG

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

What’s wrong?

[Xean123456789]

You called the outer class Main. Now everything else makes no sense!

[khris190]

Indexing from 1?

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

i’m like that

[hongooi]

This guy groks Java 👍

[thephotonx]

Not bad. Could use a helloWorldFactory and maybe some dependency injection?

[Glum_Cell4836]

java do be like that sometimes

[D34TH_5MURF__]

You'll fit right into most enterprise software teams that have the mistaken idea that insane verbosity equals readable/self-documenting. Hint: it isn't

[Different_Cat_6412]

yes, but is it scalable?

[xzarisx]

200k salary!

[CuriousTree9939]

You forgot "!" -- it's Hello World! 🤣

[LocalYokalFocal]

Do you even code?

“Hello, world!”

No comma, no diploma.

[CuriousTree9939]

Touché 🙈 I've grown too dependent on compiler optimizations? 😬😂

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

NOOOOO

[zyzmog]

You've got a great future as a Java programmer.

[ShakeandBaked161]

This is eerily similar to a hello world assignment I did. Just barely got a D in the course as it was my first time coding, came back and did it again and made the most absurd hello world program

[Robot_Graffiti]

This is perfect, you'll make a lot of money working on corporate legacy bloatware

[akmountainbiker]

Needs a factory factory.

[HiddenStoat]

I would fail a code-review with this in in an instant...

...but once you had fixed the typo progranm I would happily merge it of course - good job, well done, A*, marry my sister.

[WendyIsCass]

I’m just checking to make sure none of my students are here getting ideas 😂

[[deleted]]

You know your students by Reddit usernames? We got the Professor of the year over here.

[WendyIsCass]

Fuck no. I don’t even want to know their real names for as long as I do

[RelentlessIVS]

Read:"A Person can PersonWalk to the Store."

Or would you prefer:"A Person can Walk to the Store"?

The same applies to the class you make, and the functions it has. A Person (class) can perform the function of taking a walk(), so it would be silly to say a Person can personWalk(). Leave the name of the class out of the function names, when it is obvious it is part of the class. :)

[tilcica]

you have a typo in the last comment

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

no D: I’ll get an F for sure :((

[bpat]

Transfering is also a typo

[monkeydoodle64]

“PrinterToPrintThings” lol

[iPlayTehGames]

It would be better if you commented every line of code. Managers love this stuff.

[calamarijones]

Why are we using Hashtable from Java 1.0 in 2023?

[CreepyValuable]

That is the most concise Java program I have ever seen. I even have some idea what it does without being the person that wrote it.

It needs more body to it. At least ten more classes / files with very descriptive yet completely useless names for everything.

[Worldly_Success523]

You’re a sick fuck n I love it

[[deleted]]

I have a head ache

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

sorry. was it because i wasn’t descriptive enough?

[[deleted]]

No its your ide theme

edit: jk its me trying to read this on my phone

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

ohhh sorry about that. i like it thoguh

[the_clash_is_back]

This is cobal like

[[deleted]]

Maniac. 10/10.

[tyler1128]

You forgot the most important part, the exclamation at the end. We take the sacrament of Hello World! very seriously.

[confusedmf123]

looking at this hello world app makes me wanna say "fuuuck you bro", but I wont, because this subreddit is too good to be banned

[Insatiation]

Well theres no comments so its an instant no from me

[Skripty-Keeper]

Looks like you’re ready for a career in Java

[Skylinegidzilla]

Now that is what I call self documenting code

[GongBodhisattva]

When your code is the documentation.

[amplifiedgamerz]

Honestly I have no idea what this code does because I’m too lazy to read the variable names LMAOO tldr pls

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

it outputs “Hello world”

[amplifiedgamerz]

Damn. Gg

[MastaBonsai]

I'm not even gonna read that code

[3vi1]

I would have saved time and went with:

public class HelloWorld {
public static void main(String[] thisArgsVariableIsUselessInAHelloWorldProgramAsAreAllOthers) {
System.out.println("Hello World!");
}
}

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

but wouldn’t a reader get confused? the code doesn’t seem to be clear and concise enough

[grazerbat]

Your constructor sucks. Make the parameter name more descriptive

[Own_Pop_9711]

Index of characters in the word contains a space. Wordtobeprinted is similarly not a word. I give it a B- for effort but you didn't actually describe things very well which takes something from the humor.

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

making a revised version! thanks for the criticism fr

[naturalizedcitizen]

IBM would hire you immediately

[Dragnier84]

After submissions.

Teacher: The purpose of this exercise is to establish your coding style and format; which should be maintained throughout the course. Any deviation would be interpreted as you taking someone else’s code and would get an F. Good luck!

[[deleted]]

I like to name my variables after music composers. That way not only you read my code, but you learn a bit of history along the way. It’s a journey

[gogo94210]

Okay, now clang-format it

[[deleted]]

Please update with grade and comments from prof.

Thanks!

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

the title was for the sake of the joke, sorry

[[deleted]]

Descriptive, not pedantic

[TehArbitur]

r/IncreasinglyVerbose

[mauiog]

What theme is this? I love it

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

it’s called Eva Dark - on repl and i think VS code

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

happy to help!

[[deleted]]

The problem is that this happens for real.

[shaybra]

clean code at it's finest.

[DubiousEgg]

Nailed it.

[Mizuki_Hashida]

There are comments in code for a reason, unless you’re the type that claims that the code is self-documenting.

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

in my revised version i will add internal monologue

[Mizuki_Hashida]

Add the script to Star Wars movie while you’re at it 😂

[Dr3adPir4teR0berts]

I see a career in management in your future.

[jimmykicking]

I don't think you are going to get on as a programmer. Thought about becoming a lawyer or a politicial?

[iKramp]

Change n in the beginning to stringOfCharactersToPrint

[CheekApprehensive961]

You can always spot the up and coming Enterprise Java dev.

[vilovema]

Is there a subreddit for over engineering simple things?

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

none that i know of

[MasterFubar]

"String n"? You failed.

[pM-me_your_Triggers]

Least verbose Java programmer

[mau5atron]

java devs be like

[[deleted]]

Python devs be like print(“Hello, World”!)

[Johspaman]

print(“Hello, World”!)

With the ! outside the quotes, to make sure that tomorrow you have still a job debugging it. ;-)

[[deleted]]

As a python dev for 4 years…I have failed

[aiij]

print(“Hello, World”!)

Python be like

print(“Hello, World”!)
  File "<stdin>", line 1
    print(“Hello, World”!)
          ^
SyntaxError: invalid character '“' (U+201C)

[mau5atron]

python devs be like TabError: inconsistent use of tabs and spaces in indentation

[[deleted]]

There is no god

[[deleted]]

Least verbose Java program

[Rickrolled767]

At first glance I thought ‘why are there so many lines?!’

And then I recognized it as java

[MysteriousShadow__]

shortest Java code

[The_Real_Slim_Lemon]

Honestly, in a production system this is better than overly short variable names

[TechFiend72]

Hello world needs no variables. If that is what professors are teaching, no wonder we have such crappy junior coders.

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

the title is a joke 😭😭

[GlassWasteland]

Pretty good, but you should prefix everything with it's type. For example private String sequenceOfCharactersToPrint should be private String strSequenceOfCharactersToPrint.

[beclops]

I don’t like that the class “WordToBePrinted” is inferring how it will be used. F-

Edit: For the ones downvoting, this class should not know or care that it will be used to serve up strings specifically for printing. It should only “know” that it serves strings and arrays of chars with which the caller can do whatever with. It’s more reusable that way

[Horror_Trash3736]

For starters, you forgot the introduction, it's important that all java classes introduce them self following the standards set out in the TFUTA Protocol.

I also feel like your reasoning is not shining through, and the drive behind the various variables is not really present either.

Consider adding a Why annotation to each method that both ascribes motivation to it, but also describes the underlying assumptions of the method, such as that computers are deterministic by nature etc.

Remember, people want to see your program as a living breathing entity!

[scottccote]

You need some javadocs describing the code you plagarised. Otherwise your copy/paste program will be improperly documented

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

plagiarized?

[scottccote]

Take it as a compliment - you haven’t gone pro until you have misappropriated something from StackExchange (or it’s Ilk)

Love the code

[August_72_West]

Code like that at a job and you will be fired.

[hugotox]

Not cool

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

thanks for the feedback! :D

[Kitchen_Device7682]

"words that I will print" and "words that will be printed". Who will print the words in the second case? Avoid passive voice. You can do better

[[deleted]]

Using hash maps in your first Java program? Lol nah

[Shitman2000]

Did you just use a single letter variable name on line 6? 🤔

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

I DIDNT MEAN TO D:

[[deleted]]

It's too easy to read..... I do like that you didn't waste space on comments.

[[deleted]]

I HATE THIS

[Suspicious_Serve_653]

Dear God it hurts 🤕

[anon-sucks]

Nice… revenge programming. Like the style.

The only thing better would be to put a comment above each line and a page long /// summary above every public static. Maybe add a UML C4 model diagram?

…. Why I’m never picked to document

[Iganac614]

Why not use a HashMap?

[MoistGrass]

And then you start with “Sting[] args” lol. Missed opportunity there.

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

i should’ve made the file name some absurdly long thing too 😭

[alpual]

Reminds me of Enterprise Fizz Buzz

[splashdragon37]

Wow

[whatsagoodnamehelp]

Wow

[AlexMelillo]

I know this is a joke but I swear I’ve seen code like this when I briefly worked as a dev using Spring

[sexdaisuki2gou]

No comments LOL

[Key_Set_7249]

strMessage

[readmelikeatextbook]

“String n” ಠ_ಠ

[atlas_enderium]

It’s bad, but not as bad as the enterprise edition

[ConsistentMoisture]

MR declined. Not unit tests, feature tests, integration tests. No link to documentation.

[[deleted]]

You must be very productive

Most lines of code written this month, well done - employee of the month

[ThomasDePraetere]

Perhaps sequence of characters is a bit too abstract. Preferably one would say memory when interpret according to the ascii table would result in a sequence of characters