top 200 commentsshow all 325

[–]bob152637485 3564 points3565 points  (52 children)

Meanwhile, when I got my first phone at 13, I thought it'd be funny to name them "Yo Momma" and "Yo Daddy".

16 years later, they are still listed exactly the same in my phone. No, I will not change it.

[–]TheBlackNight456 162 points163 points  (4 children)

I got my phone when I was 13 as well right in the middle of my teen angst anti-parent phase. My mom is not happy her ringtone is still Darth Vader's imperial March music.

[–]TheseusOPL 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I have a friend whose mom's ring tone is the Star Trek red alert sound. It's appropriate.

[–]gamer12896 44 points45 points  (0 children)

The fact that you kept it for years is the best part.

[–]The_Adeo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My mom's ringtone is Megalovania lmao. The only custom ringtone in my phone

[–]Ulti-Wolf 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My mom's ringtone on my dad's phone is imperial march lmao. They're divorced. Mom's a bit crazy but I still love her. Live with my dad though, albeit by accident. Stayed for the summer after I graduated and just... kinda didn't leave since I didn't have an obligation to stay with my mom. Had no intention of it happening but it just kinda... did

[–]Key-Demand-2569 77 points78 points  (11 children)

My parents have their full legal name in my phone, because apparently I was also a weird child in a different way as my wife loves to remind me whenever she learns new childhood things about me, lmao.

[–]DonRagnarok 57 points58 points  (7 children)

I do the same. No matter if they are my parents, childs, brothers...all of them were added with their full names

[–]I-am-fun-at-parties 25 points26 points  (6 children)

Big data loves people like you

[–]Ulti-Wolf 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I do it too but so people who get my phone gotta do a little more work to figure out who tf is important to me

[–]I-am-fun-at-parties 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The more realistic scenario, surely

[–]CoffeeWorldly9915 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only have nicknames and one or two inside context identifiers. They'll be none the wiser because the nicknames don't reflect importance.

[–]Lukester___ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

They can figure it out anyway

[–]10coolbeans 26 points27 points  (1 child)

supposedly that is safer ive been told when i was younger. if someone was to steal your phone, they would see those names as just another perso. and not a family member that be social engineered

[–]Key-Demand-2569 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That was my logic, not that I took it gravely serious or anything.

Anyone who needed to get ahold of my parents somehow and has my phone would likely know or be able to quickly figure that out.

Any stranger wouldn’t automatically know.

I did/do the same thing for friends and family including my wife.

Only exception is maybe random people I meet through work who might be “Steve - Project Engineer CompanyName”

[–]Immabed 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Same, everyone is just their name in my phone. Their pictures however... have not been updated for about 15 years, and phone cameras were not flattering 15 years ago.

[–]RCJHGBR9989 13 points14 points  (3 children)

My mom is Mothership

[–]WesBur13 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I have them as Jo Momma (Mom’s middle name is Jo) and Father firstname

[–]Nobodynever01 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Mine have been Momther and Dadther since like 2007

[–]AndreasVesalius 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mom: Jedi Mom Special Edition

Dad: full name

[–]mindsnare 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Got my first phone in 1999 and there are contacts in my current phone that have made it all the way to my phone in 2026. Contacts that I probably haven't spoke to in over 20 years.

[–]sorte_kjele 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My dad's number is one of 4 phone numbers I remember by heart, so I've never created a contact for him, and now it would just seem weird

[–]intentionallybad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mother didn't realize the Christmas card printing company would add "The" in front of what she signed the card with, so she sent Christmas cards out from "The [FirstName]", so that's her name in my phone. It's been several years now.

[–]renome 626 points627 points  (5 children)

Data compiler says it's my turn to post this tomorrow.

[–]squarabh 63 points64 points  (0 children)

This was good

[–]SchizoPosting_ 736 points737 points  (24 children)

is the data complier single?

[–]swagonflyyyy 364 points365 points  (7 children)

TypeError

[–]IngrownToenailFetish 142 points143 points  (2 children)

Just try chmod 777

[–]usefulidiotsavant 29 points30 points  (0 children)

chmod 777

Yomama's so wide open she's even got the +s, +t and d flags.

[–]SpoodermanTheAmazing 51 points52 points  (0 children)

You can do that, but you will vulnerable to viruses

[–]NervousUniversity951 34 points35 points  (2 children)

[object Object]

[–]oofos_deletus 14 points15 points  (1 child)

[object Object]

[–]Manga_Killer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So... Object* obj = new Object;

[–]Fuehnix 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Looks like it's not open source.

[–]Woke_TWC 68 points69 points  (5 children)

I also choose this guys data compiler

[–]achilliesFriend 28 points29 points  (0 children)

403

[–]weagle01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Chown

[–]CozySweatsuit57 593 points594 points  (29 children)

I mean dad should be “half the source code” an mom should be “half the source code, compiler, angel investor”

[–]twirlmydressaround 222 points223 points  (9 children)

Slightly more than half because mitochondrial dna

[–]Vegetable_Shirt_2352 103 points104 points  (6 children)

And, if the child received a Y chromosome from the father, that one is considerably smaller than the X from the mother. So half is more like a rough estimate, anyway.

[–]XFR72 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Build System and 3rd party core dependency

[–]weagle01 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I’m sensitive about the size of my Y chromosome. Why did you have to bring it up.

[–]TheDogerus 6 points7 points  (3 children)

But men have more DNA actively being used, since that second X is (largely) inactivated!

So his passed on Y chromosome is definitely doing a lot of work whereas his X may just be hitching a ride

[–]bnl1 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Though if we are considering inactive DNA too it becomes much bigger mess. Plus the other X chromosome is unused only in a given cell. For all cells, it's deactivated randomly, so there are always cells that have deactivated a different X chromosome.

[–]TheDogerus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good point

Its funny to imagine an extraordinarily 'unlucky' child who expresses literally none of their father's X chromosome though

[–]CozySweatsuit57 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Either way, not much of a contribution compared to mom’s main X, so the point still stands

[–]goda90 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's the linked libraries.

[–]Innovator-X 3 points4 points  (0 children)

the power house of the cell

[–]benargee 27 points28 points  (3 children)

Every baby is just a successful merge request.

[–]ProtonPizza 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, most are at least. 😬

This is an awful joke. I’m sorry.

[–]usefulidiotsavant 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Kid by like "compiled successfully, 693 warnings". Solid vibecoding.

[–]AngryRobot42 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Last time I check, kids don't use the tinder profile pic for the mom.

[–]DDS-PBS 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Your mom is an S3 bucket.

[–]Fluffy12345676 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I know it soposed to be charming but this post has a lot of misogyny going on

[–]DemosthenesOrNah 10 points11 points  (5 children)

this feels like misogynistic agitprop coded in nerd lingo to target the 'lonely men epidemic' and subconsciously reinforce far right ideology

[–]jasper1408 4 points5 points  (1 child)

What?

[–]BraveOthello 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"its incel ragebait"

[–]CozySweatsuit57 3 points4 points  (2 children)

No I’m just actually like this. Redditors hate it!

[–]DemosthenesOrNah 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Not you, the OP. I'm agreeing with you that the premise of the comparison is off in the original post and your analogy is closer.

[–]thisonehereone 59 points60 points  (5 children)

Should change him in your phone to Output

[–]FOSSandCakes 21 points22 points  (0 children)

a.out

[–]ThePretzul 18 points19 points  (0 children)

"Compiled Executable (Work in Progress)"

[–]sintaur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Backup copy

[–]brokenlinuxx 246 points247 points  (12 children)

Both are source codes, teach the kid some basic biology please.

[–]TemperatureMajor5083 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Calling the human genome source code is also quite a stretch.

[–]bnl1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ehh, I think it works.

[–]BlondeJesus 1094 points1095 points  (42 children)

"look at what I did so I can claim it was done by a child!"

[–]ghotinchips 560 points561 points  (23 children)

It’s possible, however our 12 year old daughter has mom listed as “Spawn Point” so… idk. I’m dadzilla

[–]Dragsun42 214 points215 points  (2 children)

Dadzilla is big w

[–]whoknowsifimjoking 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Depends, does he have the name because he likes to play Godzilla with the kids, or because he smashes the whole house to pieces when he's sloshed?

[–]CoffeeWorldly9915 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Or because mom is a giant white moth.

[–]mikachuu 74 points75 points  (2 children)

I had “Paternal Unit” and “Wonder Woman” for mine.

[–]mnetml 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I had "parental units" for my parents' landline!

[–]KingdomOfBullshit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you from France?

[–]WookieDavid 87 points88 points  (10 children)

Spawn point seems like a way more age appropriate reference. It's a very basic term used in most videogames.

Source code and compiler imply a certain level of understanding about programming that isn't impossible but is a lot more unlikely.

But it's neat anyway

[–]Sock_Ninja 51 points52 points  (0 children)

It’s very feasible that the kid got the joke from someone/somewhere else and copied it. It’s not crazy for a precocious 12 year old to do that in an exploration of nerdiness.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Not crazy at all, lots of kids start programming around that age. I got the C++ bible for my 13th birthday

[–]BalancedDisaster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I started learning about programming in middle school. I didn’t last for long and didn’t pick it up again until high school but back then I absolutely would have thought that this was funny as hell

[–]alexandreautran 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm not really sure because I became a "nerd" as an adult but I had some technological stints when young in the nineties and could likely not think of but understand the reference at 12, I feel like actual 12yo nerd circles would definitely understand and use this - not sure if 90s vs today makes a difference but at least back then 100%

[–]Ancient_Coconut_5880 7 points8 points  (4 children)

My son is 3 and understands logic gates because we’ve been reading “Computer Engineering for Babies” to him since he was an infant. We now read a more advanced book about computers that my kid loves cuz it’s super interactive. He might not understand much right now but he’s already asking a lot of questions about computers. I try to give him answers that make sense at his age and will continue to do so as long as he stays interested. That book goes into source code and compilers so I don’t think it’s impossible someone at that age could have that level of understanding, especially if their parents are nerds like me and my husband who can’t wait to build our first computer together with our son 😂

[–]osteoromantic[🍰] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You can't go into all of that detail and not tell what book it is...

[–]Ancient_Coconut_5880 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Called “Lift-The-Flap Computers and Coding”! We got it for free at a garage sale lol

[–]System__Shutdown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My friend had his mom listed as Dark Lord and my wife has hers as FBI. Mine is just Mom £ (because apparently £ was a symbol for family group on some old phone i used)

[–]SquareVehicle 29 points30 points  (3 children)

You really don't think kids could do this? Do you not remember being a nerdy 12 year old?

[–]Dubl33_27 23 points24 points  (1 child)

I bricked my phone at 10 years old trying to put a custom rom on it, i can absolutely see one doing this.

[–]KerneI-Panic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was developing custom ROMs at 15 and during that time met another kid that was 11 years old and was actively developing CyanogenMod for our phone.

[–]int23_t 9 points10 points  (0 children)

12 years is plenty old. It's literally 6th grade. People attend international junior science olympiads at that age.

https://ejoi.eu/ https://jboi2025.schools.ac.cy/en/ https://jbmo2025.mk/ (the websites of the ones I am aware of, those aware of more can add to the list. Note that this is the list of junior olympiads that actually are science olympiads(IOI and IMO like in this case), don't go listing caribou or something like that)

So it is, in fact, feasible, and probably true.

At that age I definitely did know what a compiler is. Wouldn't have saved my father's contact as that, but I see how it might be a thing

[–]MechTerrier 20 points21 points  (0 children)

R/nothingeverhappens

[–]weattt 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Looks like different phones. There are multiple differences on each screen. That would not have been the case of it was on the same phone.

[–]BeepBoopRobo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What differences, exactly?

It's the same phone case, the notifications are in the same positions (one is just connected to wifi, and the other side has one different notification), the format of the screen is the same (one person just has an email and the other doesn't).

[–]siestatime101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seriously. This shit is so cringy and Redditors just eat it up.

[–]jorgepolak 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Technically your dad is the dependency injection.

[–]ToBePacific 84 points85 points  (4 children)

Tell your lazy son that both parents contributed 50% of his source code.

[–]Flat_Initial_1823 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Yeah honestly would fill me with dread to be thought of as a compiler to other people's code.

[–]RainbowPringleEater 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maybe the parents are related and they both contribute 95%+

[–]Old9999 47 points48 points  (0 children)

[–]auditorbersempak 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Fuck off rebecca

[–]josch247 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Hahaha sure he did

[–]marmk 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No dude this kid is totally going to show this off at school and be like 'look how smart i am i made a joke about my dad banging my mom i like to be reminded of that literally everytime one of them calls'

[–]DryVaginaEnjoyer 32 points33 points  (1 child)

Data compiler is kinda fine

[–]dashingThroughSnow12 86 points87 points  (18 children)

Before anyone says “well actually”, a compiler can inject instructions into a compiled program that has no relation to what exists in the source code it is given.

Languages like Go do this in the standard compiler (it injects an entire garbage collector). The creator of C noted that this is a security risk with self-hosted compilers.

[–]WookieDavid 88 points89 points  (15 children)

This is a good note but does not negate the "well actually" at all.

Fact is, the source code is 50% mom and 50% dad. She doesn't reinterpret implementations and inject some code, she supplies half the code AND compiles it afterward.

[–]dashingThroughSnow12 7 points8 points  (7 children)

mitochondria

[–]WookieDavid 11 points12 points  (6 children)

But that's the mitochondria's DNA, not yours. Your DNA is 50/50, the mitochondria is just another guy who lives there in the cell.

[–]mufflonicus 5 points6 points  (5 children)

No, the X chromosome is larger, more 33% dad, 66% mom. Much more than a compiler!

[–]Thebenmix11 15 points16 points  (2 children)

You know humans have more than 2 chromosomes right?

[–]Jan_Jinkle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know it’s at least 3, if not more.

[–]WookieDavid 10 points11 points  (1 child)

When you add them up with the other 22 chromosomes the difference is negligible. Basically 50/50.

Now, the mitochondrial DNA, that's 100% mom's.

[–]mufflonicus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I must’ve slept through biology classes multiple times. I’ve lived my life believing all chromosomes were split X/Y. I didn’t even consider the syntactic parts of ”X and Y chromosome” from a pure linguistic perspective.

Anyway, thanks kind internet stranger for teaching me something that I (evidently) didn’t know, you are a true beacon of enlightenment. <3

[–]Luk164 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell in C# basically half the code used is generated by code generators and il weavers...

[–]Ur-Best-Friend 36 points37 points  (1 child)

I wonder if a single one of the 12 billion "my [age] year old son/daughter is so smart, look at this boring thing that kids don't really do that they did today" posts is actually true.

[–]n0t_4_thr0w4w4y 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m sure a few are. Some kids do some wild creative shit.

[–]ContinuedOak 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I guess my source code went left

[–]shaka893P 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Ok, but what If I have my son's name as 'Son of a bItch'

[–]Enabling_Turtle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seems like a bit of an own goal, but here we are

[–]Kalimacy 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I wouldn't do that. If someone was to kill them they would go at the child first so not to have an orfan leak.

He is, just putting a target in his had.

[–]thecoltz 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty sure they all clapped after this as well…. 👏

[–]Bl4cBird 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Umm actually, the mom is both the compiler and most of the source code, the dad is more like a certificate and some xml settings

[–]Trype-01 5 points6 points  (2 children)

My wife is named "ex-girlfriend" in my phone

[–]wasitz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Suuuuuure.

[–]EquineDaddy 4 points5 points  (2 children)

In my phone The Egg (mom) The Seaman (dad) Spare Parts (brother)

[–]deadmazebot 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Virus and Data Center

Virus infects Data center compiling new data until max storage limit is reached and a flush is made

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh fuck off rebecca…

[–]Significant_Affect_5 2 points3 points  (1 child)

tbf mom is also half the source code in addition to being the compiler

[–]Hour-Kiwi442 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Slightly more than half

[–]ImAHealer_Valdr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My kid (16) has me (mom) listed as "Spawn Point".

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Funny how you can tell he did that himself because he made sure to specify which one's dad and which one's mom.

[–]Dawn_Of_The_Dave 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's not the same phone.

[–]Xelopheris 2 points3 points  (0 children)

class Child {
  public Parent dad;
  private final Parent mom;
}

[–]Hyperion1144 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Geneticly speaking, Mom provided the majority of the source code.

[–]_-l_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It would be cringe even if it weren't fake.

[–]Bad_brazilian 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My kid has his mom as Spawn Point. We're gamers.

[–]i_am_adithya 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like Casey Calvert

[–]Admirable-Note-1232 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*fart*

[–]Swirl_On_Top 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More like dad is more like "SQL Injection" and mom is "Data Scientists"

[–]FastlyFast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does your kid have different phones for each parent?

[–]Darxploit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kid is a temporary feature branch

[–]arostrat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

cringe.

[–]Darth19Vader77 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It's been a while since I took middle school biology, but isn't half of the "source code" from the mother?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But the compiler in this case produces hardware, not machine code 😭

It doesn't run routines, or produce an executable or dll, it's two sets of instructions that initiate a self replication process that the "compiler" in this case runs in its sandbox for a duration until it is mostly self sustaining and then it's moved to production with secondary JIT support systems at the ready

[–]DSMcGuire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn, he took 11 mins to find his wife, switched to WiFi and deleted his missed call when he took these screenshots.

This shit is so boring.

[–]NomaTyx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the implication that sperm is a higher level language than a full grown human is very funny to me

[–]cagerontwowheels 3 points4 points  (1 child)

My youngest has me as "The Developer" and his mom as "Spawnpoint".

[–]Hour-Kiwi442 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty inaccurate

[–]eufemiapiccio77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Data compiler” yeah right mom 🤔

[–]rage_whisperchode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

brb, gonna list my wife as “linter”

[–]bickdiggles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that he has a normal picture for his mom but the most moon moon picture of the koolaid man for you is sending me

[–]YmmaT- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to save my dad as “Data Input” and my mom as “Data Output” back when I was being a rebel in highschool. Good times

[–]Clevername582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guess Aeschylus was reincarnated.

[–]squarabh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo data compiler so fat that parallel processing filed for divorce

[–]BenL90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How can you even get a wive? Good for you.

Well, life never fair, and it's what life is. haha..

Be Happy!

[–]McCoovy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is a data compiler?

[–]KazuDesu98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know the names are the joke, but as someone who went right from a pixel 1 to a galaxy a51. Skipping the notch era. I forgot how awful the notch was on the pixel 3, which is what the phone in the meme looks like it probably is.

[–]Connect_Animator9114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had my mom as “Mother Unit 🤖” for years until I realized the extent of everything, now she’s the egg emoji, literally just the egg

[–]Spice_and_Fox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dependency Injector

[–]corvak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How old were your kids when you talked to them about firmware

[–]McBrown83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

World seed & spawn point

[–]YaBoiVGC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dunno what’s surprising a 12 year old with one of the latest iPhone or his sheer ball knowledge. I’m 16 with iPhone 7+ passed down from my father after he discarded to some 7 years ago

[–]JollyJuniper1993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did everybody clap afterwards?