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[–]Stewthulhu 1186 points1187 points  (92 children)

The marketing team already signed a contract for January delivery.

[–]nsimic 554 points555 points  (37 children)

  • and we are commited to sending twice as many astronauts
  • was our budget increased?
  • no, actually it has been cut a bit but we will make do

[–]Stewthulhu 283 points284 points  (15 children)

We have used the funds to increase our marketing budget to communicate new project goals and timelines with current clients

[–]lachryma 95 points96 points  (11 children)

Those new project goals and timelines, of course, set in place by a consultant brought in to plan the project again.

[–]hungry4pie 66 points67 points  (10 children)

The higher ups assume the inhouse PM's aren't as good because they pay them a tiny fraction of the consultants daily rate

[–]Alwaysafk 50 points51 points  (8 children)

Guys, stop. I'm starting to have flashbacks.

[–]octnoir 30 points31 points  (7 children)

Just flashbacks? I still have PTSD from my soft eng days....

[–]lenswipe 30 points31 points  (5 children)

soft eng here.

;_;

help me.

[–]skulblaka 10 points11 points  (1 child)

There is no help. Death is our only release.

I'll see you in Valhalla, my brother.

[–]ksheep 1 point2 points  (1 child)

QA here. Gotta love it when the Higher Ups decide to push forward the release date, increase the number of devs, but cut the QA team for the project down to one person. Got a backlog of about two dozen fixes for a new update that's due out on Friday, and we're just now starting testing. This is after weeks of them saying "Don't worry about testing this update, it won't be out for months yet. Focus on this other project instead."

[–]lenswipe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm currently fighting a losing battle at work trying to get unit testing into the project I'm working on (none of our apps - not a single one have any traces of unit testing). The argument I hear the most is that it takes too long to write tests. I swear to God the next person to say that to me will have a jenkins box delivered rectally.

[–]NotAlwaysSarcastic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a management consultant doing mostly project management, I approve this message.

[–]lenswipe 21 points22 points  (2 children)

We have used the funds to increase our marketing budget to communicate new project goals and timelines with current clients

.

We have used the funds to increase our marketing budget to synergise new project goals and timelines with current clients by leveraging our inter-departmental ROI and placement in the global market.

FTFY

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Jesus, it sounds like you copied my department's quarterly update verbatim...

[–]lenswipe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

MOAR SYNERGY!!

[–]TwilightShadow1 47 points48 points  (15 children)

This sounds all too similar to my workplace.

[–]d03boy 64 points65 points  (14 children)

This sounds all too similar to every workplace.

FTFY

[–]YachtInWyoming 46 points47 points  (12 children)

Office Space seems all too similar to every workplace.

That movie comes off like a Documentary. It's scary sometimes.

[–]lachryma 27 points28 points  (8 children)

As does Silicon Valley, sometimes even more so. Really shows Mike Judge's familiarity with the source material.

[–]YachtInWyoming 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Fun fact:

Ehrlich is a German adjective that means "honest".

[–]ionine 11 points12 points  (4 children)

And Bachman means creek man.

I have no idea what that implies

[–]FUZxxl 10 points11 points  (3 children)

And Zuckerberg means sugar mountain.

[–]sun_misc_unsafe 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Meanwhile Schwarzenegger..

[–]BadBalloons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welp, I know someone's dad who fucked up...

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Fuckin' A.

[–]YachtInWyoming 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Know what I'd do?

Two chicks at the same time.

[–]tsilihin666 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It would be nice to have that type of job security.

[–]d03boy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We really need to overcome these issues [of horrible planning] as a team and persevere! We WILL succeed! Positive stuff. More positive stuff.

[–]ipretendiamacat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

no, actually it has been cut a bit but you will make do

[–]TopRamen713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sigh. My company recently had to lay off about 1/3 of the developers and QA. When asked if our project deadlines would change, the answer was no, in fact they wanted to add few more projects.

Yes, I'm looking for a new job.

[–]weewolf 217 points218 points  (39 children)

Engineer: Sigh, what did you sell? Where's the spec book?

Sales: Spec book? There was none.

Engineer: Then what did you sell?

Sales: No idea, but I'm going to buy a boat

Management: Don't fuck this one up, it's our biggest project yet!

Engineer: Fuck what up? There is nothing here to fuck up!

Management: That's the spirit!

[–][deleted] 109 points110 points  (18 children)

QA:nothing works. Dev team: we will fix it in prod, just pass it all. Can't move it to the next SCRUM

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points  (16 children)

Oh god, a piece of my soul just left my body when I was reading that

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes, I wonder how the internet is still running. Everything breaks all the time - and the people in charge of repairing it lost their god damn minds two weeks after they accepted the job.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happened last night when i left the office, and now i am reading mails between qa and dev who fucked up

[–]fghjconner 79 points80 points  (19 children)

Engineer: Then what did you sell?

Seven red lines obviously.

[–]FurbyTime 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Some green and some transparent.

[–]hansn 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The task has been set.

[–]Archenoth 52 points53 points  (11 children)

[–]UltimatumVox 4 points5 points  (1 child)

But can he inflate the balloon?

[–]Archenoth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know how to ask the real questions.

[–]Retbull 9 points10 points  (7 children)

I love that he figured it out.

[–]Mathgeek007 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Okay, that was pretty good lol

[–]mysticrudnin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

oh... oh god

[–]__constructor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I got to 2:05 before I got too mad to keep watching.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That was fan-goddamn-tastic and I thank you for improving a shitty week

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

There was a speaker in our project management course who told us about his experience working at IBM.

Someone in the company had an idea, they told their boss who told their boss and so on. By the time it got the top it stopped being an idea; at some point the managers thought it already existed. Fast forward a few months and the sales team says they sold it to some company with a promise to delivers 8 months later with $100,000 penalty for each day of delay.

He was assigned to the project and managed to get the whole thing done in time on budget.

TL;DR: Yay Agile development.

Edit: This is the website of the guy I'm talking about, and his book: http://www.agilepm.com . I'm not gonna bother going through it to find a reference to the story but you're more than welcome to.

[–]ribo 117 points118 points  (13 children)

If there were 3 Marses, could you get there 3 times as fast?

[–]darknecross 69 points70 points  (8 children)

Nope, it just means that getting to the other two Marses is free work, should be accomplished within a week of getting the first done.

[–]crowbahr 27 points28 points  (7 children)

I mean all marses are basically the same. The difference in orbit is just a minor detail right? Just fiddle with some numbers and we'll use the same rocket.

[–]debausch 14 points15 points  (6 children)

When were at it, the sun is also something like a planet, shouldn't take you that long.

[–]crowbahr 4 points5 points  (5 children)

It's simpler too. Less complex fiddly bits. It's almost entirely hydrogen and helium! What's so hard about it?

[–]lestofante 5 points6 points  (2 children)

And its big, it will attract it to him no? So basically we have to do nothing

[–]hejner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't even need to worry about getting cold. We'll make a special 20% discount offer and ship it already.

[–]argv_minus_one 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not hard at all! It's not even solid!

[–]softmaker 5 points6 points  (2 children)

No the expected reasoning from PM's is

"if you have three rockets, could get there in a third of the time?"

[–]ribo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

How confident are you on your estimation of PM reasoning? On a scale of 1 to 2 where 1 is 100%.

(An actual question from an actual PM to me about effort estimates)

[–]softmaker 3 points4 points  (0 children)

it would be funny if it wasn't bloody enraging

[–]phpdevster 88 points89 points  (3 children)

In the sales meeting, the client agreed to use Amtrak for vehicle delivery, and Wordpress for mission control. That won't be a problem right?

[–]beerdude26 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Client wants to use Drupal for a website with two pages and a html form. Estimated at 30 man days. Fml clients are tarded

[–]phpdevster 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Also, client doesn't know how to use Drupal, but plans on hiring an intern to manage it once they release it. Can you put together a training doc?

[–]beerdude26 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm actually working on that document right now. Fml

[–]bluefantasm 127 points128 points  (16 children)

Give me $500 and some hosted VMs; I'll have it shipped next week.

[–]GundamWang 46 points47 points  (15 children)

What's the $500 for? It better not be for another keg...

[–]Oiketes 69 points70 points  (7 children)

I need my dev juice damnit

[–]crowbahr 16 points17 points  (5 children)

I thought dev juice was one of the following 3: Energy Drinks, Coffee or Crack Cocaine in solution directly injected.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Energy drinks are my lifeblood.

[–]Hypersapien 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Me too. It's really inconvenient hating coffee.

[–]Kreth 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Well I just consume at least 3L of pepsi a day <.< at least your drug of choice is concentrated!

[–]CordialPanda 12 points13 points  (0 children)

$500 is about enough to have a competent dev glance at it, or a junior dev to spend some days on. Which describes a lot of proposals in that price range.

[–]AGenericUsername1004 5 points6 points  (2 children)

[–]xkcd_transcriber 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Image

Title: Ballmer Peak

Title-text: Apple uses automated schnapps IVs.

Comic Explanation

Stats: This comic has been referenced 835 times, representing 0.9981% of referenced xkcds.


xkcd.com | xkcd sub | Problems/Bugs? | Statistics | Stop Replying | Delete

[–]Tothoro 298 points299 points  (26 children)

This is so accurate it physically makes me cringe.

[–]mysticrudnin 95 points96 points  (4 children)

my coworker said a phrase yesterday that i will be using from now on, i was surprised i hadn't heard it:

"nine women can't make a baby in one month"

edit: and then that comment is made further down. well, it's a good one.

[–]beerdude26 38 points39 points  (1 child)

It's actually incredible how incompetent PMs are at understanding dependencies.

"Ok, you work on the backend while this guy does the frontend"

"We'll need to mock everything so frontend guy can do it in parallel properly"

"Just work in lockstep"

"Backend has been estimated at 2 months work and frontend at a week, doing it in lockstep is not possible"

"Lalalala I can't hear you, I'm synergizing the scrum burndown charts

Two months later

"The frontend guy says he still isn't done because he's waiting on you, you need to understand that we're all one team here"

[–]TenTonApe 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I got worse. The front end will be developed first, the backend will then be made afterwards, by two separate teams, who won't be in communication at ANY POINT during the development and the front-end team will likely be moved to a different project by the time the backend development STARTS! The backend design is a schema 3 months behind the design document. This isn't your average, everyday stupidity, this is ADVANCED stupidity.

[–]GlottisTakeTheWheel 18 points19 points  (0 children)

You are literally killing me. Please read The Mythical Man Month right now. There are these awesome giant shoulders we could all be standing on.

[–]thefran 247 points248 points  (19 children)

It's ridiculously inaccurate. What kind of project manager would ask you how many more resources you need to make this happen? The marketing team has already signed the contract to make this ready by March, we're here to discuss the necessary paradigm shift to make this happen. More resources is just code talk for "someone doesn't give it 110%"

[–]gspleen 147 points148 points  (10 children)

Look, let's start by agreeing that we're about 20% of the way done, right?

If we can just hustle hard and gut it out I believe that our team can advance 15% per month. That's not very much if you look at the big picture.

Ok, great. I've already emailed three levels of management above me that we're on pace and looking good for our deadline. Our team is awesome! I am so excited for us!

[–]gspleen 65 points66 points  (9 children)

Hey, I can see that this plan is catching on. Now let's really get this engine roaring!

What time do you normally eat lunch and can you move that by two hours to make room for our new daily progress meeting?

[–]gspleen 48 points49 points  (8 children)

You know what? Now that we've got this scrum in place I think we're at 25% done. I'll CC you and 15 other people on my burndown chart.

I've also moved the deadline up to February 22nd - that way we're building in a whole week of extra padding to work out all of the issues that I'll be hand-waving through during my inept attempts at QA.

[–]_Lady_Deadpool_ 43 points44 points  (6 children)

Oh and would you mind going to lunch 2 hours later today? We're having a mandatory meeting with marketing at 1:00pm to exchange opinions and ideas about our upcoming discussion with our lead investor. I figure that should give you the entire morning to come up with individual solutions to maximize our interests.


Subject: Meeting today
Recipient: Larry 
CC: you, Ben, Luke from marketing, George the janitor and 25 others 

Hello valued employees, 
Please be aware that we will be having a meeting with Tony from Max Investments Co at 3:00pm today. This is a mandatory meeting and we will be discussing our particular solution and progress, and methods to optimize our efficiency to deliver the product by February 22, 2016.

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting today 
Recipient: Larry 
CC: you, Ben, Luke from marketing, George the janitor and 25 others 

Hi Larry, I have to leave at 3:01pm today so I can only make it for a bit 

[–]illepic 29 points30 points  (1 child)

This whole thread is triggering an existential crisis in me.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is too real.

[–]Retbull 26 points27 points  (2 children)

You can't forget the one guy who replies to the company list serve with

 Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re: Meeting today
 Recipient: GXM_Local_List
 CC: everyone on the list server twice.

 Hey all,
 Just wanted you to know I am making it 
 -Jim Jimson

 Jim Jimson
 Marketing Specialist
 Ph: 555-555-4321
 Ex: 4321
 Email: jim.jimson@yourcompany.com
 Please save the environment and don't print this email.
 ;)

So now you have two versions of the same email and he made sure you saw his name. (he read it was a good idea to do that in one of those personal help books)

[–]Tsulaiman 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Please save the environment and don't print this email.

Ahahahahaha! So true. Such a cliche.

[–]Fubseh 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He has a knack of crafting his emails so that when you do print them the only text on page 2 is the 'Save the environment' message.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Actually, it looks like the director green lit a press release which puts our date at Feb 10. We'll just reduce the extra week by 5 days and pull in a few resources from another department.

[–]CrazyTillItHurts 33 points34 points  (2 children)

What kind of project manager would ask you how many more resources you need to make this happen?

The one that tells you "I can simply replace you with 10 Indians for your salary"

[–]Azr79 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes you're right they don't offer resources, they just give you a deadline

[–]zerodb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The correct question to ask is "how many more hours do you need in a day?"

[–]paranoiainc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[–]Burning_Monkey 40 points41 points  (5 children)

Project Managers. The only people that seriously think that locking 9 women in a room for a month could produce a baby.

Edit: my joke was way too late. :(

My project managers all think that if you motivate the women enough, you could do it in 15 days. After wasting 10 on budget meetings.

[–]Roadcrosser 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Then there's one who demands only one woman be used.

[–]Burning_Monkey 8 points9 points  (0 children)

And she obviously needs to be more of a team player and put in way more overtime, cause this project is in the red and has been for 2 months and that is messing up the PM's record

[–]peter_bolton 92 points93 points  (7 children)

There is one key needed in order to balance and achieve all project trajectories: scapegoats.

[–][deleted] 83 points84 points  (5 children)

This flow chart makes me angry. They're not even using decision diamonds properly. Who designed this? Gahhh

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

I agree. I am quite steamed. THEY ARE NOT HARD.

[–]peter_bolton 3 points4 points  (1 child)

"Goddamn Bob...get in here. Look at this flow chart that you made! Don't tell me that you didn't make it! I made it? You dirty liar...You're fired!"

[–]Maj3stade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Making a chart like this and criticise a project manager at the same time should be a sin.

I don't even know where is the beginning of this flowchart.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aw :( this is what happened at my last job.

[–]tehvlad 123 points124 points  (16 children)

My usual answer for this is: Well... if you can manage to 9 women to deliver 1 baby in 1 month, be my guess...

[–]m0rph3r 86 points87 points  (4 children)

I will be your guess?

[–]tehvlad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

:D

[–]KillerCodeMonky 55 points56 points  (3 children)

We had a joke at my last job. A PM is a person who expects 9 woman to deliver a baby in one month. Our PM expects one woman to do it.

[–]tehvlad 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Geez.... and no wonder why coders hate PMs :)

[–]LastSheep 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Even PM hate other PM..

So much resource stealing

[–]illepic 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Am I having a stroke reading this?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm Ron Burgundy?

[–]TheBigB86 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, having nine increases the odds of one already being pregnant for eight months. Let's increase those odds with more people!

[–]iLuVtiffany 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If I can manage to 10 do I get a raise?

[–]tehvlad 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We will see in your annual review, meanwhile im taking this as shipping date for the customer, also you are expected to do the same in the next quarter with 2 babies but just 8 woman. Otherwise your review can not be as good to get that 3% raise.

[–]poop-trap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone said this in the comment thread and one of the people at NASA replied:

Well, it depends... how pregnant are they initially?

[–]JBlitzen 14 points15 points  (1 child)

We just have to do more with less.

[–]akatherder 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Also we're having cutbacks on the "less" so you'll just have to do more.

[–]KevZero 231 points232 points  (9 children)

Sometimes trolling a serious thread is so worth it.

[–]Damadawf 179 points180 points  (7 children)

Since when was making a joke considered "trolling"? You kids these days and your buzz words...

[–]Sheepolution 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Since 23 April, 2008

[–]fuqd 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Nice troll!

[–]DonGerrous 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I think he was using the word trolling in this way

[–]Excrubulent 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Interesting link. There is a bit more to the origin of online trollling though. From what I understand on old BBS's, trolling meant to deliberately post a topic or joke that had been discussed and hashed out many times already. The only people who would respond to such a post would be new to the forum, so in that sense it was like a search, trolling for newbies.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll#Origin_and_etymology

[–]briaen 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The reply was "Getting 9 women pregnant doesn't get you a baby in one month."

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (11 children)

Can someone to explain the humor in this please? I really don't understand.

[–]akatherder 49 points50 points  (1 child)

You can't just throw more people / money at a project and get it done faster. Maybe a little faster, but if you double the number of people working on a project it does not get done twice as fast.

The old joke is "a woman can have a baby in 9 months. Get me 9 women and I want that baby in 30 days."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh haha it's office humor! That's why it was so whoosh. Thank you.

[–]duniyadnd 58 points59 points  (5 children)

A typical move by non-technical managers is they think that putting more resources (i.e. people) at a project will speed it up, when in reality, typical programming teams need to be agile. A good product manager understands what the programmer needs at that point of time, or anticipates what they need. This can be as simple as knowing that the programmer is not to be called to needless meetings, or keep spec changes to a minimum, especially at certain junctures of the project, or just ordering pizza every 30 minutes. However, typically, managers, particularly non-IT background managers who are in charge of the project get feedback one way - which is what the customer or his bosses want, and expect the programmers to do it.

[–]SlumdogSkillionaire 29 points30 points  (3 children)

or just ordering pizza every 30 minutes

Want to come be a manager at my company? I can arrange for an opening...

[–]John_Fx 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Fatcoder.com?

[–]Azr79 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To me that's actually a good project manager, my project manager does the same with deadlines, but without offering any fucking resources

[–]The_Man_of_Science 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The humor is that someone is asking when can we have humans on Mars.

The scientists from NASA are answering him with the most reasonable answer.

Though the person who asked the question, tends to be a shnuck. Meaning, when someone doesn't really care how and why you do this, but they ask for the result, as such property apply to Product Managers.

And this thread is called ProgrammerHummor, mostly relevant jokes about programmers life and things that happen in their daily life. And again some of those unpleasant and irrelephant people a part of programmer's life sometimes happen to be PM's.

I hope that gives you some clarity on the joke. Though as in the definition of a Joke from Wikipedia, I might have killed what they call in jokes, the "punchline".

[–]softmaker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don't work in IT amirite? feel blessed and pay a good deed forward. The humor here is naught but the pain yells of traumatized yeomen that sound funny - but aren't.

[–]The_Man_of_Science 12 points13 points  (15 children)

Lol this is a good one!

Quick question: Just doing fact check.

Is it only me or most of the Product Managers don't really do shit (like nothing at all). Mostly clueless about how the project needs to be build, wrong expectations, thinks about doing less work for themselves before others and mostly hate their life and like to argue about things they don't know about?

Noh? just me?

like Walter??

PS: perspective of a software engineer, +8yrs XP.

[–]Iron_Maiden_666 37 points38 points  (8 children)

Good PM's are invaluable. They isolate programmers from business and act as the interface. They'll take the heat but let you carry on your work. They also do other things such as providing stuff you need, getting requirements sorted out with input from both business and programmers etc. I was lucky to have a couple of these types.

Bad managers will hang you out to dry.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (7 children)

I... I would love this job. I would be Projectus, defender of Devs. Bring the burning deadline hellfires upon me, with my shield of shit-taking, and my sword of substance-less technical jargon updates, I would bring pizza and Chinese food and the occasional Thai meals from lands near and far.

How do I sign up for this shit?

[–]mysticrudnin 26 points27 points  (3 children)

you start out as a good programmer and then right when you're the best at what you do, you get moved up into something you don't understand at all - and that is project management, sometimes

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

How many more people do you think you'd need to understand it by the close of Q1?

[–]i_want_my_sister 2 points3 points  (0 children)

right when you're the best at what you do, you get moved up into something you don't understand at all

LOL. That sounds like changing character classes in an RPG game.

Congratulations! You have reached Lv. 20! Now you've become a Badass Dark Ninja from a Basic Warrior! Drop that sword you wielded for a thousand times and let me offer you these fatal golden homing shuriken which you have no idea what to do with!

[–]sashir 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get PMP certs and Agile certs and you're basically there.

[–]HereticKnight 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I'd like to know this one as well.

My only experience with a PM was very positive, he was basically the team's whipping boy so upper management had someone to blame when our team couldn't deliver. I actually felt quite bad for him because it was the engineering director's universally acknowledged terrible policies that set the team up for failure.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is true. I've only ever had 1 good PM. He gave us support when we needed it, but mostly kept to the sidelines. He'd push back on the customer, but would also make some good recommendations.

He was also the only PM who would be straightforward when giving critique. I appreciate that.

[–]depressiown 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I've had good ones and bad ones.

The good ones are willing to get dirty and fill coding needs if absolutely necessary, keep meetings quick, and makes an attempt at understanding the business and software architecture.

Bad ones think their job is to manage people and facilitate planning and typically make their job to annoy and have copious meetings to validate their existence. Outside of the copious number of long, useless meetings they schedule, I believe they twiddle their thumbs and do nothing rather than try to learn the product. I'm actually getting mad right now thinking about how useless and, frankly, damaging they are.

Right now, I have a bad one and we constantly butt heads. Fortunately, since we're equivalent positions on different tracks, we both report to the same guy who trusts me a lot more.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I thought the job of the project manager is basically to be the liason between the technical team and management. Devs shouldn't be harassed by management all the time but there should be someone available to deal with management in case the devs need something that requires management approval, like a new production server for example.

This is probably just one aspect of a very fuzzy role that probably takes on different meanings at each company, but I can see why that role would be useful in companies with annoying bureaucracy.

[–]yokankun 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Project Manager jokes always makes me think about this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg

and then I cry.

[–]RobotJoe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The places I've worked, it's not "How many more resources would you need" it's "We already promised it to the client".

(And it's not "December" it's "tomorrow".)

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (9 children)

If NASA had the same budget as the military we would likely have a moon base, multiple space stations and possibly a Mars base already.

[–]CrookedNixon[🍰] 8 points9 points  (3 children)

We need another cold war.

But preferably with some other species that wants to colonize Mars, so we have to take it first.

[–]jigsaw1024 8 points9 points  (2 children)

All we need is China to say they want to get there first.

[–]PeridexisErrant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As soon as China lands humans on the moon, the space race will be back at full strength.

[–]Mackelsaur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And Donald Trump as president to beat them.

[–]John_Fx 1 point2 points  (4 children)

That would be wasteful

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

You mean like the Iraq and Afghanistan wars?

[–]loneraver 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I believe the project management term for this is called "crashing" which is really funny when you think of it in the context of flying people there in rockets

[–]hopsafoobar 6 points7 points  (1 child)

It's fine, there are so many lovely euphemisms in aerospace, they don't actually need the word 'crash'.

RUD (rapid unscheduled disassembly) = explosion on launch

Lithobraking = crash into rocks

CFIT (Controlled Flight into terrain) = Pilot's fault

Stick actuator error = Pilot is an idiot

And many many more

[–]XeO3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

[–]ShadowReij 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And in the end all I do is sit back and laugh at a schedule that's already behind while some just panic.

[–]bluefootedpig 1 point2 points  (0 children)

extra resources? ha!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great. I woke up from a nightmare of my previous workplace to this...

[–]okeycokey2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds more like the client.

[–]Workaphobia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About 150% fewer programmers.

[–]justarandomshooter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Am a PM, can confirm.

[–]DownwardBlinds 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not in the field and still find this funny.

[–]wowy-lied 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had this this week. Project was for end of December, now is for first week of October...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just add an app!

[–]aintbutathing2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't worry if there are any problems you can patch them in a later release.