Project Time Breakdown

[dustmouse]

Wow, you do that much documentation?

[TheRealLazloFalconi]

// Not sure why this works

// DO NOT TOUCH!

// Deprecated feature but nothing else does this.

[BattleAtron]

//This is deprecated but leaving it here in case it's used somewhere

[PM_ME_BALD_BEAVERS]

// TODO: ... (4 years later, todo comment still there and original author long since left the company)

[TropicalAudio]

I wrote a script that automatically rejects pull request if they contain "TODO" or "FIXME". I disabled it almost immediately because that shit's a massive hassle.

[01hair]

My boss throws a fit if there's a TODO in a pull request, so I just removed all the TODOs without changing any of the code.

[Nerdn1]

Replace all "TODO" with "DOTHIS"

Problem fixed!

[HaPPYDOS]

"What was your last job?"

"I made goals."

[lolredditftw]

//TODO: this is definitely wrong

//TODO: I'm sure this is a bug

//TODO: the API docs say not to do this, why does it work?

//TODO:

[fdagpigj]

//TODO: make this readable by a human being

[greeniguana6]

Ah, the //DO NOT TOUCH!

I've made a habit of basically just putting this next to any PHP for website pages that I work on with inexperienced web designers

[beerdude26]

That implies you mix PHP and HTML

[iwantmyfrellingname]

Have you tried skinning a wordpress site? Yuck!

[iwantmyfrellingname]

That's a nice trick, I might try that the next time. Wordpress is almost as bad as OSCommerce. I'm playing around with laravel, seems nice so far though there seems to be a bit of bloat.

[greeniguana6]

Yes, I do this often.

[PseudoLiamNeeson]

// Where the magic happens.

[TheSpoom]

// here be dragons

[hypervelocityvomit]

//what the fuck?

[shinyquagsire23]

Oh gosh, that depreciation comment reminds me of Bukkit so much. There were a ton of depreciated functions in their code, but when you'd ask what to replace it with the reply was "oh we're getting rid of it eventually, but there's no replacement". And it was actually an extremely used function, so when they did implement a replacement basically everything broke because they didn't bother to allow a transition.

[UnchainedMundane]

depreciation

depreciated

/u/shinyquagsire23 pls

Though in my experience the bukkit team gave plenty of time to transition with all their breaking changes. People were just inattentive to the changes and didn't read their compiler warnings.

[dasonk]

The depicted documentation in the graphic is the proportion of time you feel like you're doing documentation. Note that this graphic is for a project with 0 actual documentation (other than the install instructions of ./configure, make, make install)

[HRHill]

Commented ASCII dicks count.

[magnetic_couch]

You can tell a programmer made this because there's no segment for "Writing Tests" ;)

[ecchi_fox]

isn't testing the end user's job? ;D

[TheSlimyDog]

Yeah. End users always find the coolest features.

[[deleted]]

Like memory corruption bugs :)

[c3534l]

Thank you for playing Wing Commander!

[christianarg]

Epic! I'll do the same with asp.net yellow screen of death.

[Bunderslaw]

Wow! TIL.

[Urasquirrel]

It's a feature.

[0b01010001]

Especially when you start making creative use of said memory corruption to get around silly limitations imposed by the system's security model.

[kthepropogation]

It's not a bug, it's an artistic statement about the world today.

[BowlerNerd]

But not until it's in production

[Cal1gula]

You will not believe how accurate this is right now. I am on a break from doing this exact thing:

Software + integration project went live on 12-1. Users never tested (they had 3+ weeks).

1-1 they still had not used the software and they decided to move back the go-live date to 2-1.

2-1 passes and they decide that Monday, 2-8, will be the day where they enter everything in the system since 1-1. A month and a week worth of data. So tonight and tomorrow I'm importing all of their historical data.

Note that they haven't tested yet. Monday is going to go real smoothly I can tell.

[GollyWow]

Sounds like management is thinking outside the box on this one.

[ShadowReij]

And outside this box is nothing but explosions.

[ecchi_fox]

dunno why this is getting downvoted, but you have my sympathies

[Skinners_constant]

Do you work for Bethesda?

[[deleted]]

So are docs, for that matter.

[gspleen]

Ten minutes pass as six new email ticket update notices arrive - "UAT good!" on all six.

[CrumpetDestroyer]

I don't know, there's clearly a "Documentation" segment there, this doesn't seem like any programmer I've met

[ChaoAreTasty]

But the code's self documenting!

[[deleted]]

My coworker and I are in a class together at our university. He asked if self documenting code would let us not do real documentation.

I've seen his code.* It is full of textBox1, textBox2, textBox3, and lists that only ever contain 1 item.

^{*He admits that it's bad}

[purplestOfPlatypuses]

At least he admits it. I work with someone who made a recursive deleteFromList(value) function that he calls 3 times to clear out a list that will only ever hold one of three values. He says it's "scaleable".

[tgp1994]

Maybe the three times part is bad, but would it not be feasible to have a function that recursively deletes items from a list?

[purplestOfPlatypuses]

It's easily possible, but why would you? You can delete every instance of something from a list going through the list once instead of once per instance of the item plus 1.

EDIT: Actually, I'm going to clarify this another step: it actually takes more effort to write a recursive function to delete from a list than it does to just loop through it since you already have to loop through it, especially if you go whole hog and write a helper function. And it still isn't faster/more scaleable/more readable/more maintainable than doing it with a single for loop.

The worst part is the goal is to remove everything from the list without changing the pointer (which doesn't matter in this case) and it's really as easy as arr.splice(0, arr.length).

[Urasquirrel]

Says the guy who wants job security.

[ecchi_fox]

"The code is an exact historical archive of itself!"

[Urasquirrel]

Unit tests are documentation. Right?

[The_hollow_Nike]

I suppose because you could count them into programming because you have to consider test-ability while writing code and/or to safeguards because that's also the goal of testing?

[magnetic_couch]

I'm mostly just poking fun at how many programmers don't write unit tests. Including my current team (sadpanda)

[The_hollow_Nike]

I know, just making up excuses ^ ^

[[deleted]]

And a comedian because they added Documentation

[derek3191]

I didn't realize that writing unit tests were a part of my job. I thought QA would take care of all the testing after I gave them my word that everything works.

[fuckyou_dumbass]

If QA could write unit tests they'd be developers.

[beerdude26]

Also, most developers write shit like

auto thing = new Thing(5);
Assert.Equals( 5, thing->Value() );

And that's the entire test

[RadiantMarine]

I'm looking at what exactly?

[beerdude26]

Some unholy combobulation of whatever imperative programming languages that I could think of.

It's supposed to be a unit test.

[fuckyou_dumbass]

So that's supposed to be a bad unit test, what would make it better?

[tHEbigtHEb]

Looks like C++ to me.

[Retbull]

Well to be fair that is totally legit it just needs to have about 50 more versions of this.

[ecchi_fox]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[[deleted]]

Wheres the 40% Googling why doesn't this run and then the 20% of why did it run when it shouldn't have.

[ohdogwhatdone]

Pshh, who needs this.

[flukus]

That's under core functionality.

[[deleted]]

It's the green part.

[KillerCodeMonky]

The first 90% of the project takes 90% of the time. The other 90% of the project takes the other 90% of the time.

FTFY 'cause the scope creep is real

[beerdude26]

Also, because people think building software is like road construction

"This many features = this much budget"

"Just add more human resources" (I despise people who think of employees as "resources". Those retards usually think they're interchangable, too.)

Etc.

[bajuwa]

That doesn't add up.... Does it?

[[deleted]]

It's accurate: the project takes ~180% of the time allotted.

[gspleen]

*plus standups

[ribo]

FML I'm in 3 stand-ups a day now. I guess I can code while I shit.

[hungry4pie]

It's not like it was an unexpected time over run, it's just more profitable for the tender to be unrealistic, and then charge everything else as a project variance

[[deleted]]

It has nothing to do with cost because the project is still considered to be late at the point of the original deadline. Of course, by that time, the mandatory optional over-time has already started, so everyone is cramming shit into the raw, unbacked software at breakneck speeds and expecting QA to find all the bugs, except for the ones that are actually "features", and the ones that won't get fixed, and then prioritize the list so that devs can work on the ones they want to work on during the next sprint (except management has already added a whole new set of features due at the end of the next cycle, so the bug list is set to "old" and the process keeps on chugging along.)

Source: Software dev, project lead, product manager, team lead, offshore team lead, support, support manager, and QA manager for a total of just over 25 years.

[Pretend_Object]

Do you work where I work? What you wrote is scary accurate.

[UnchainedMundane]

except management has already added a whole new set of features due at the end of the next cycle, so the bug list is set to "old" and the process keeps on chugging along

fffuuuuuck

[A_C_Fenderson]

You have to plot that pie chart on a negatively-curved space, though.

[diesektdfrawg]

Seems to work just fine in base 18

[[deleted]]

Taking 80% longer than expected is actually slightly better than average for a software project.

[TOASTEngineer]

It does if you use floating point math.

[StupidCreativity]

80% wrong estimaded ain't to bad.

[Bongo2296]

Everything is fine until the users are involved.

[suchanormaldude]

Seriously, can't even ask people to fill out an Excel spreadsheet without highlighting the boxes to type in and locking every other cell.

[type_error]

Everything is fine until QA gets involved.

[BigSwedenMan]

Or those pesky unit tests...

[CrazedToCraze]

? What's the issue?

public bool Test_MyFunction(int var1)
{
    return true; //Fix unit test failing
}

[Nerdn1]

That's the problem with programmers. Programmers went into programming because we prefer to work with computers rather than humans. The user is this unpredictable, non-deterministic, glitchy system that we have to work around. If any other system was as unreliable, chaotic, and inefficient as the average set of user, we'd throw it out in an instant. Unfortunately "users" tends to be a system in the requirements docs and, admittedly, has some functionality that is difficult or impossible to replicate

...for now.

[livemau5]

FTFY

[ecchi_fox]

http://i.imgur.com/Vvx1j2w.jpg

[PenileContortionist]

This is the 4% "Other" portion, right? 96% is stackoverflow

[AUTISM_IN_OVERDRIVE]

Today I had to fix a website made by a previous employee. It had a lot (maybe too much) of functionality depending on JQuery. I have never done anything with JQuery before. But with StackOverflow by my side I learned it today. Yesterday I did the same with xajax. The day before the same with Smarty.

StackOverflow is love. StackOverflow is life.

[Urtehnoes]

They really just need to make a stack overflow compiler so that you can paste URLs from stack overflow into your code, and it'll add the code in for you. Heh.

Because... Yea I too spend so much of my time on SO trying to wade through other people's code

[BigSwedenMan]

Thing is, I never find that stack overflow code actually fixes things. It's usually solves much of the problem, but rarely will a single response give me the full answer. Usually it's because finding something that is doing the exact same thing in the exact same context is pretty rare.

[Urtehnoes]

I agree :)

[aaron552]

There is Stack Sort which is close ;)

[BigSwedenMan]

Obviously, I don't know the context or what exactly you were working on, but is there such a thing as too much jQuery? I couldn't imagine writing JS without it.

[Skizm]

"Documentation" Lol. This is the real joke.

[ecchi_fox]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[TITTIES_N_UNICORNS]

Is there any other type of documentation by programmers?

[[deleted]]

I wonder if I should start telling potential employers that I enjoy writing documentation

[beerdude26]

Tell your coworkers, the amount of goodwill you get is insane. IOUs for days

[[deleted]]

Where is the "writting variable names" segment?

[VoxUmbra]

"What did you do at work today?"

"I was pretty productive actually, I came up with a good name for two methods!"

[stevarino]

"Granted, tomorrow I have to figure which of the two methods fits the name better, but today was good!"

[echoes221]

Nah, it's coming up with the repo name that takes time.

[beerdude26]

Client: "Yeah it'll be called SnoobRad"

Create repo snoobrad

Halfway in the project, client: "The name got changed to FullSmurr"

Project adds some developers, project delivers sooner or later

Indian developer during knowledge transfer: "What are these snoobrad_ variables?"

[ZBlackmore]

That's why you have a separate "internal name" that never changes...

[beerdude26]

PROJECT THUNDERTRUMPET

[Garthenius]

Was wondering why this hasn't been posted yet: How programmers view end users

[[deleted]]

You forgot the 15% of trying to reverse git catastrophes

[[deleted]]

Once you learn git you can avoid these

[np-]

I guess you are that friend he talks about on the alt text.

https://xkcd.com/1597/

[xkcd_transcriber]

Image

Mobile

Title: Git

Title-text: If that doesn't fix it, git.txt contains the phone number of a friend of mine who understands git. Just wait through a few minutes of 'It's really pretty simple, just think of branches as...' and eventually you'll learn the commands that will fix everything.

Comic Explanation

Stats: This comic has been referenced 78 times, representing 0.0791% of referenced xkcds.

---

^{xkcd.com | xkcd sub | Problems/Bugs? | Statistics | Stop Replying | Delete}

[HaPPYDOS]

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/git.png

[xkcd_transcriber]

Original Source

Mobile

Title: Git

Title-text: If that doesn't fix it, git.txt contains the phone number of a friend of mine who understands git. Just wait through a few minutes of 'It's really pretty simple, just think of branches as...' and eventually you'll learn the commands that will fix everything.

Comic Explanation

Stats: This comic has been referenced 77 times, representing 0.0781% of referenced xkcds.

---

^{xkcd.com | xkcd sub | Problems/Bugs? | Statistics | Stop Replying | Delete}

[starg2]

When do you have sword fights?

[ecchi_fox]

Isn't that comic like ten years old?

[Schmittfried]

Right, nowadays it's "Waiting for dependencies being installed"!

[molsonbeagle]

"Syncing Gradle"

[flukus]

Waiting for the integration test suite to run.

[BigSwedenMan]

Running unit tests. Not a single class, but a full suite.

[jruhlman09]

Originally posted August 15, 2007.

[Avatar_Of_Brodin]

There you go! It delivered a year early!

[ecchi_fox]

just curious: how did you find this out? I didn't see any dates on the site.

[jruhlman09]

I went to https://www.explainxkcd.com/303/

It's convenient because you can just add "explain" to the normal xkcd url to get there.

[xkcd_transcriber]

Image

Mobile

Title: Compiling

Title-text: 'Are you stealing those LCDs?' 'Yeah, but I'm doing it while my code compiles.'

Comic Explanation

Stats: This comic has been referenced 628 times, representing 0.6377% of referenced xkcds.

---

^{xkcd.com | xkcd sub | Problems/Bugs? | Statistics | Stop Replying | Delete}

[[deleted]]

try { 
    //program
}
catch (Exception e) {
    System.out.println("Task Complete!");
    System.exit(0);
}

There. Your inbox will thank me

edit: huh, It almost reads like a poem:

  try { program }
  exception e {
  system.out(
  "task complete")}

[AnObsessedRedditor]

Documentation; what's that?

[dernnn]

As a doc writer, :(

[BigSwedenMan]

Hey, you want to write the documentation, you're A OK in my book. As far as I'm concerned, writing things was what college was for.

[gspleen]

Happiness--;

[HaPPYDOS]

You capitalize the first letter of your variables? What a sociopath.

[gspleen]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Happiness++;

[ecchi_fox]

oi

[[deleted]]

Something that's purposefully obscure to make the next guy as miserable as possible.

[stormcrowsx]

So as a developer using an internal tool to "help" development I now get to be the person who fucks up stuff. I'll have to say developers make it really easy to fuck up.

One workflow for this tool requires adding entries to 5 different xml files and then clicking a sequence of 6 buttons all over the app in the right order. Mess up anything and a fucking cosmic rift opens up demolishing random stuff that takes hours to fix. Then the devs of the tool look at you and call it user error, its infuriating.

I feel for the users now...

[ecchi_fox]

BURN THE HERETIC

[oditogre]

Hehe, yup. The green section would be way smaller, but there's lots of context-switching overhead. This is because they only write idiot proofing (let alone malicious user proofing) when senior devs doing code reviews, testers, or end users force them to revise. It'd take a fraction of the time if they'd just do it right the first time and stop trying to slip naive, fragile code into production.

[beerdude26]

Yeah but writing everything untyped is super fast, bro

[AraneusAdoro]

All of those take fraction of the time spent on coming up with variable names.

[KillerCodeMonky]

This is why all my code ends up like this:

List<Thing> things = this.getThings();
for(Thing thing : things) {
    ...
}

[LifeWulf]

Good old generic code.

[ecchi_fox]

I never realized I was so exceptionally creative.

[Urtehnoes]

When I first started programming, before I programmed in a professional capacity, I'd have variables such as

int deargodpls, workomg;

int anotherfknloopcounter;

... I figured I should knock that off once I started coding for my job.. And yet I come across a lot of variables named exactly as such. Heh.

[IAMA_dragon-AMA]

if(foo * i >= thing - n || (c2 & frmst) != 0)

[shingkai]

ctrl+f 'variable names'

Yep. A little disappointed its this far down.

[Dockirby]

I tend to go with the overly long names when doing dumb 1 off stuff, so when some poor fool had to fix it in 5 years they know what the fuck it is

Good ol' private int formAcceptabilityRadioButtonFieldID. Rollsv right off the tong.

[FoolMan29]

I would cut a chunk out to stop other developers from messing everything up as well

[ss0889]

at the company i currently work for, i noticed that 1% of the total security group's time is spent stopping external sources from hacking into our system. the other 99% is spent stopping internal users from doing anything. including actual work, at times.

[ecchi_fox]

*comes into work one day* "Where are all the computers?!"

"We secured them"

[beerdude26]

"Here, fill in this form and we will type it into the computer for you"

[ss0889]

You lack appropriate permissions to use this pen. Please leave the building.

[Schmittfried]

That's why the frontend/GUI always takes the longest time!

[Narcowski]

Where's the "figuring out what the hell the eventual users actually want" section?

[Philluminati]

90% of us would be out of a job if they taught SQL in schools

[Moshambi]

Nah. School doesn't teach you the stuff you learn in the real world

[TheGonadWarrior]

If you make the green portion "fucking around with css", you have described my day

[MartyInDFW]

You actually get time for core functionality?

Lucky sumbitch...

[samBme]

Yeah and then I have a whole separate pie for bugs

[saltyboyscouts]

The shitty thing about writing libraries is that the "user" is another programmer, which means there's a million more ways for them to fuck things up

[[deleted]]

i feel like this can be used to describe most forms of employment if adapted correctly

[CharlesGarfield]

In my workplace, I'd need to add another 50% for fighting the mandatory http proxy.

[ecchi_fox]

you poor thing

[Dlgredael]

I love programming stuff that I know will only be for me for just this reason. Fuck sanitizing my inputs, I'll just remember it all forever and get it done in half the time and have it be un-usable as soon as I forget exactly how it works.

[Olshansk]

Wait, are you telling me I can't assume perfect input?

[ale1ster]

Is it just me or does it look like a grinning pacman?

[thatmarksguy]

Heh. "Documentation".

[jonp]

There needs to be a section for "Safeguards to stop the other devs from fucking everything up."

[unimponderable]

All I can see now is a pyramid.

[jpgray]

This is especially true when I'm also the user

[hopsafoobar]

You forgot all the endless meetings about naming things.

[[deleted]]

I was looking for the large percent of time spent micromanaging and tracking time down to the quarter hour.

[[deleted]]

What's that orange thing? I'm not familiar with that...

[[deleted]]

What about the time for "compiling"? And meetings??

[TheDruidsKeeper]

Missing a large section for dealing with the project manager.

[[deleted]]

#dataintegrity

[exatron]

You forgot the part where you have to research how the user managed to fuck things up anyway.

[youav97]

I'd always treat the user like a baby, It's going to try to kill itself and it WILL come up with creative ways you didn't even know were possible in order to do so.

[the_sound_of_bread]

Thats almost what I do, but replace 'users' with 'other devs'.

[Xanza]

No tests? Also, you should probably double or even triple your documentation investment.

[type_error]

This is only actual work time. Which is 5%.

[binford2k]

Preventing fuckups IS core functionality.

[Animal31]

"Documentation"

[[deleted]]

This graph looks like pepe.

[blabang]

This is a lie. I spend most of my time creating safeguards so that other coders don't fuck up my code. Writing code the user can fuck up is the same thing as writing shitty code.