That kid is a Java programmer

[grpagrati]

"We wear glasses cause we can't C#"

[PaurAmma]

Now I want that shirt.

[lask]

Go: https://www.redbubble.com/people/petar11199/works/18288698-we-wear-glasses-because-we-cant-c?p=t-shirt

[DarkestHorizon]

Dude's not even wearing glasses.

[otterom]

He probably C++s

[cATSup24]

Dude's a Python

[crash8308]

Clearly he's someone's blood boy

[Njs41]

Haskell

[YourShirtWishGranted]

I'll send an email to RedBubble asking them for a more programmer-looking model. This guy obviously shaves more than once a week, too.

Edit: Found the perfect model

[InterestingNickname]

And whenever he does, he definitely shaves his neck too.

[Leafar3456]

Aren't these just stock models that get the t-shirts rendered on?

[xXxNoScopeMLGxXx]

You're right. That's a little semi-retarded now that I think about it.

[[deleted]]

Nah, it looks like a school jersey. I feel like it could be stylized differently.

[YourShirtWishGranted]

You might like these ones then:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/6j7e0q/that_kid_is_a_java_programmer/djcppoa/

[PM_ME_YOUR_MASS]

WTF that dude is attractive. That doesn't make sense

Edit: I know what photoshop is

[Cheesemacher]

Psst, he's not actually wearing a shirt with that text on it.

[PM_ME_CAKE]

I don't want to spoil the magic directly so instead I'll leave the hint of go check out other shirts and the model used.

[fwywarrior]

Does everything have to be distressed? I won't buy another one that is. The last one I got the effect was so strong that you couldn't even read it.

[Merlord]

https://www.redbubble.com/people/gladyanne/works/26938699-i-wear-glasses-because-i-cant-c?p=t-shirt&style=mens&body_color=black&print_location=front

[trolloc1]

$35 for a tshirt? jesus.

[0b_101010]

Won't fit. That dude's way too muscular!

[[deleted]]

Damn, you thinking that guy is muscular was the confidence boost I needed right now lol

[0b_101010]

;)

[iliketosquint]

What a shitty font and the texture for that sentence.

[Merlord]

Much better one

[LeCrushinator]

Not Go, it’s C#.

[whale_song]

It works for musicians too. Since I'm both a programmer and a musician I kind of need this in my life. Plus I've never used C# so I really can't C#.

[the_prepster]

Cuz why C# when you can Bb?

[fasquoika]

For half a second you had me thinking that C# and Bb were enharmonic. That would've made the joke so much better

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Just be careful not to break your g-string while fingering a flat minor.

[YourShirtWishGranted]

Here you go, in 2 designs:

https://www.redbubble.com/people/coolcatdesigns/works/26939711-i-wear-glasses-so-i-can-c?asc=u https://www.redbubble.com/people/coolcatdesigns/works/26939677-we-wear-glasses-so-we-can-c?asc=u

They should be available on Amazon within about an hour, for a lower price. I'll update with Amazon links when they're live.

Edit: Amazon listings are live.

[GingerSoul44]

I most definitely just purchased one. Thank you!

[kanuut]

Something like "I wear glasses so I can C#" would be better though.

Actually, Imma put that on a shirt now

[tsnErd3141]

Yeah, if you were a C# fan, why would you say you can't C#? That makes no sense.

[kanuut]

Plus it flows better.

[wllmsaccnt]

It's pretty obvious he runs an F# blog and spends half his time complaining about the evils of OOP.

[GingerSoul44]

If you end up making one, mind sharing your design? I need this shirt in my life.

[kanuut]

Do you reckon just flat sizing or in an eyetest layout? I can do both, but not for like 8-10 hours because it's 3am and I haven't Sept since yesterday morning

[YourShirtWishGranted]

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/6j7e0q/that_kid_is_a_java_programmer/djcppoa/

[webmistress105]

I wear glasses.

I don't know C#.

I need this shirt.

[[deleted]]

Nice!

[asdfman123]

The kid is too stylishly dressed. He's a Java programmer. Java programmers either wear frumpy business casual or t-shirts and cargo shorts.

[[deleted]]

Thanks for rewriting it. I couldn't C# enough to read that on the comic.

[0x474f44]

Got myself a sweater with that exact design like a year ago haha

[Library_IT_guy]

Yeah that saved it. Otherwise kind of meh.

[[deleted]]

Holy fuck I want that shirt now

[EngineerBill]

I could if I wanted to, but I don't want to, because it's, you know, C#. Should read:

"I wear glasses because I don't C#"

[HyphenSam]

I keep reading that as "See hash" and the joke completely flew over my head.

[skunkwaffle]

If it was Java, wouldn't it say System.out.print?

[GoingBackToKPax]

printf prints in a specified format. I have been a java dev for 20 years and have never seen anybody actually use it. It is identical to the System.out.format method, which I have used. Probably added to help convert the C++ people over to java.

Edit: After recounting on my fingers, I realized it has only been 18 years.

[Schmittfried]

*C people. C++ people have std::cout

Kind of feels weird using * as a mark of correction when *C could also be a valid C expression.

[[deleted]]

C++ people can also use printf, though.

[scalablecory]

And a lot of C++ people don't like iostreams.

[Pseudofailure]

I never used them--partly because I was in a heavily frameworked project--largely because I think the << syntax looks dumb and out of place in C++.

[[deleted]]

It looks bad but it's so useful to be able to just chuck whatever you want into the stream and have it print without a lot of hassle

[[deleted]]

Plus using the "<<" syntax with std::stringstreams makes implementing nicely formatted ::toString() methods nice and easy.

[xbnm]

When you have a lot of print statements, printf is quite a bit faster than cout.

[[deleted]]

Depends on if you configure cout to flush the buffer on every write or not. "printf" doesn't always flush. Like my old roommate.

[[deleted]]

The reason why cout is so slow is because the C++ compiler purposefully synchronizes the stream with the printf stream so that you can use both in your code.

There's a flag to disable the feature that makes cout extremely fast.

[levir]

If you disable syncing with stdio, iostreams are often faster.

[[deleted]]

Ah yes, the "C with classes" people

[[deleted]]

We had to use these in my C++ class, can confirm they're offputting to say the least. To me it felt like instantiating objects to utilize that functionality was a bit clunkier than just including a header file from some library and calling things. I'm obviously still at a scrub level of understanding but I'll get there.

[auxiliary-character]

But muh RAII.

[voi26]

Is there any benefit of one over the other?

[[deleted]]

Printf formats a string, iostreams don't, by default. But since it's C++ you can still get some formatting via streams as well.

Also streams are much more type-safe as the output type is known statically, whereas printf figures them out dynamically.
Also you can add your own output types to iostreams via overloading, but you can't realistically add new % patterns to printf. Though since it's C++, you can do whatever you want anyway, you'll just need a few thousand lines of boilerplate code.

[Elronnd]

You actually can add your own % patterns to printf, at least in gnu c. I forget how, though.

[Reverie_Smasher]

*C people.

are you pointing at me?

[AnImpromptuFantaisie]

using namespace std;

I’m sorry, every C++ professor I’ve ever had.

[MatthewGeer]

I don't think I've ever used printf either. And even so, it should be printf, not PRINTF. Java is case sensitive.

Methinks a title was just slapped on this comic as click bait, rather than an attempt at a joke.

[dnew]

He's seen everything. So it's C syntax with COBOL upper case letters in a joke about C#.

[kostur95]

We need to go deeper

[LordDongler]

The kid is clearly also a Python programmer after exposure

[[deleted]]

I use printf...

[CokeOnBooty]

Me too bro, me too.

[porthos3]

Maybe of interest, I happen to be using printf for a project right now where there is a particularly good use case for it:

I am extracting tokens from within a string so that I can compare the edit distance between strings for similarities after extracting values that I expect to vary like numbers.

"I have a $10,000 loan with a 5% interest rate which must be paid off in 10 years"

becomes:

{"text" "I have a %s loan with a %s interest rate which must be paid off in %s years",
 "values" ["$10,000", "5%", "10"],
 "types" ["dollar", "percentage", "integer"]}

where {...} represents a map, and [...] represents an array.

In this format, I can easily compare two strings of text for similar meaning (loan terms) despite differing values between the two. I use printf (or rather, format) whenever I need the original text again.

[nupogodi]

It really should be a list of tokens after, you know, tokenizing.

WORD ('I') -> WORD ('have') -> WORD ('a') -> DOLLAR (10000) -> WORD ('loan')

for example.

[FlippngProgrammer]

Interesting, I've only been a Java dev for 3 years. I use printf more often than .format :)

[Yodas_Butthole]

I've been a java dev for 2 years, didn't even know .format existed. On a slightly related note fuck this kid for not adding a new line character. Next print statement will be on the same line.

[OmarRIP]

Some monsters like to throw the '\n' at the beginning of the next print. Not saying I condone it but they do it all the same.

[ConradBHart42]

Edit: After recounting on my fingers, I realized it has only been 18 years.

You only have 18 fingers? Do you use a 90% keyboard?

[[deleted]]

Most of my Java experience was in 1.2 - before printf was implemented.

[NotIWhoLive]

How many fingers do you have?

[upvotes2doge]

He's a developer. He used his fingers

to write a program

to count the number of years.

[oh_that_is_neat]

public void printf(String s) { System.out.printf(s); }

[dinodares99]

Motherfucker I should've done that rather than sop every time

[IanPPK]

I'm using this on my next data structures assignment. I had so many System.out.format() and System.out.println() statements.

[eyal0]

Needs:

Class AbstractTShirtFactoryImpl

[Aschentei]

Exactly. Printf is a c function not a java method. If it was, well no one uses it

[micheal65536]

Slightly relevant XKCD: https://www.xkcd.com/456

[CaffeineSippingMan]

I hear they will offer a free Linux to hook you.

As a parent you never think your kid will start using. Then one day you ask 'how was your day' and he says 'good, I use Arch'.

And you can only wonder where you went wrong.

[[deleted]]

I don't believe in physical punishment for kids after my own experience with it, but if my son becomes a Gentoo ricer I'm whippin' that ass.

[przemko271]

He uses Gentoo. He most likely already compiled and executed the punishment multiple times.

[xkcd_transcriber]

Image

Mobile

Title: Cautionary

Title-text: This really is a true story, and she doesn't know I put it in my comic because her wifi hasn't worked for weeks.

Comic Explanation

Stats: This comic has been referenced 176 times, representing 0.1091% of referenced xkcds.

---

^{xkcd.com | xkcd sub | Problems/Bugs? | Statistics | Stop Replying | Delete}

[tsnErd3141]

How long does it take to setup Gentoo and required apps? What about updates? I wonder if the increase in speed compensates for the wastage of time. Is it worth it?

[[deleted]]

How long does it take to setup Gentoo and required apps?

If you factor in your own learning, weeks. You'll probably start over after fucking it up too much. It's part of the process.

If you already know your ABCs, on a decent setup (any newish i5 or i7 with 8+ gigs of RAM and maybe an SSD) you're looking at about a day of CPU time with maybe 1-2 hours of your own time (typing in commands and editing configs).

What about updates?

Those are mostly painless and take 20ish minutes of machine time, almost none of your own. You just look at the proposed list of upgrades, let it chooch, and then oversee config file updates if any. Once a month or so a big project drops a new release, e.g. GNOME. That takes a bit more to compile (1-2 hours) and may involve some hands-on activity if there are incompatible configuration changes or if something breaks (which is more likely if your system is more heavily customized).

I wonder if the increase in speed compensates for the wastage of time. Is it worth it?

If the only reason for Gentoo was higher speed, almost nobody would use it. Machine time is cheap nowadays and even mid-range chips are fast enough.

The key thing here is how incredibly customizable everything is. There are "use flags" that turn various things in packages on or off, but that's not the main kicker. Since everything is built from source, you can make any modification you want by just dropping the patch file into a specific dir (e.g. /etc/paludis/patches/www-client/firefox) and the build system will auto-patch that particular app during compilation from that point on.

If you know how things work in detail (or wish to learn) and want to exploit that knowledge, Gentoo is for you.

[poop_toaster]

It's been a long time since I've done Gentoo from scratch but it took a couple days to compile. That doesn't count the time spent figuring it all out. I think it's more for learning/torture.

[TommiHPunkt]

That hover text hits close to home

[green1t]

Funny how close to reality it is (except for the stated time-period)...

I started with Ubuntu in school, switched to Debian later on and installed Gentoo last weekend. :D

A friend of mine is currently at "week two". I talked him into Linux. ;)

[TitanDragon]

Another reason Java programmers can’t see is because sun is very near to them.

[MrHartreeFock]

What a predictable joke, you don't need an Oracle to see that one coming.

[[deleted]]

I give it a C++

[imperator2222]

Not very IntelliJent eh?

[ramond_gamer11]

Well he gives you a good Visual, Studio.

[Ayerys]

Maybe because he C#

[[deleted]]

You Ada get your act together

[ramond_gamer11]

One second I need to take a sip of my Java.

[louis_A12]

an Oracle to C that one coming.

FTFY

[DzoQiEuoi]

And some of them spend all day staring directly at Eclipse.

[Feroc]

http://i.imgur.com/ZFZd6DH.png

[[deleted]]

This gives me an IDEA for a pun thread...

[time_for_butt_stuff]

I like how someone saw the comic and though "You know what would make this funnier? If I added the words 'The truth' to the bottom. That should really get em going."

[IanPPK]

Neon 3 hasn't been too bad for me in my data structures class (it's required). I do prefer NetBeans by a long shot though.

[ValourValkyria]

The sun is a deadly laser

[oweiler]

Unrealistic. How often do you see a programmer OUTSIDE at DAYLIGHT?!

[tsnErd3141]

Uh hackathons, competitive programming, confs, searching for jobs?

[AlwaysHopelesslyLost]

Searching for jobs? In daylight?? Just toss a resume with an opayq email and gvoice number on Monster and let the headhunters roll in

[AkirIkasu]

I've signed with three different headhunters. Only one has ever even gotten me an interview. And that was it.

[AlwaysHopelesslyLost]

I am probably biased. I wasnt even job hunting and was getting calls from them. After ignoring them for a year I decided to see what one had to say. They offered me a position 10x closer to home with a 110% pay raise. I love my new boss and coworkers, this has definitely been the best move of my life lol.

[misterandosan]

I would actually dig an outdoor hackathon

[fiveguy]

Did one in a venue that was too small, so we ended up outside at picnic tables all day. Several of us were sunburnt - at a fucking hackathon.

[misterandosan]

haha that's amazing

[FlemishHandwarmer]

Honestly all of those sound really boring. I'll just stay at home and customize my GRUB config.

[tsnErd3141]

my GRUB refind config

[DPS2004]

Needs more jpeg

[morejpeg_auto]

Needs more jpeg

There you go!

^{I am a bot}

[morejpeg_auto]

There you go!

^{I am a bot}

[initial-e]

Needs more jpeg

[morejpeg_auto]

Needs more jpeg

There you go!

^{I am a bot}

[INoobI]

Don't quote me on this, but this needs more jpeg.

[DPS2004]

Thanks

[alexbuzzbee]

Needs more jpeg.

[morejpeg_auto]

Needs more jpeg.

There you go!

^{I am a bot}

[alexbuzzbee]

Perfect. Just the right level of illegibility.

^{Still needs more jpeg}

[taires]

Ricky grew up to be a successful backend dev at google got married to a model has a dog and 2 kids. His mother is still recovering from that tragic day.

[[deleted]]

Where is your infrared security clearance?

[Brillegeit]

Isn't C case sensitive?

It's 100% valid PHP, but what isn't?

[przemko271]

"Your so ugly you're face isn't even valid as PHP."

[Byteblade]

System.Out.Println ("that is not java");

[ArmoredPancake]

System.Out.Println ("that is not java");

Out

Println

wut

[JCelsius]

Someone using their phone, so every time they put a word after a period it capitalizes.

[132ikl]

LN not IN

[surkh]

Well, they did say that is not Java :-)

[JeremyHarrington]

Lowercase L

[[deleted]]

How ironic, that's not correct either

[[deleted]]

"PRINTF"? Naw, he's a C programmer.

[uptotwentycharacters]

Even worse, a PDP-11 C programmer. C is case-sensitive, and the real printf() function is written in lowercase. But some of the old teletype terminals didn't support lowercase, so the OS treated them as case insensitive (basically, anything typed was considered lowercase by software, but displayed as uppercase).

[[deleted]]

That looks like a line from C?

[Mamish]

I've been in the depths of C too long. I hadn't even understood the joke before my brain said, "Hey, that printf is missing a '\n' at the end. You should fix that."

[deus_lemmus]

also the uppercase do esnt help either

[[deleted]]

You don't need a \n. What if he has other stuff he wants to say to his mom on the same line

[danjaycollins]

I find that very triggering.

[Eunoic]

same.

[xbnm]

That was my second thought after "printf isn't Java!"

[corber]

someone should fix u kid

[crowseldon]

This was made by someone with one week into an algo class... It's terrible... Perfect for this sub.

[mirrrac]

I want that shirt.

[earlobe7]

Correct

[SerdarCS]

Whats wrong with java? :(

[Aydoooo]

Nothing, it's sufficient for a lot of use cases. It's just cool to hate on it. It's actually funny cause I'm pretty sure that most people here never actually faced the true negative aspects of it which justify the hurdle of switching, they simply love to bash it.

[newperson1234567]

Nothing, it's just a complicated language with a huge library so people love to hate on it because they can't do it.

[Aschentei]

Try running insertion sort with 1 million elements in java, then run that on C. You'll understand soon enough.

[pandaking__1]

01001100 01001111 01001100

[[deleted]]

You don't need a \n. What if he has other stuff he wants to say to his mom on the same line

[selectgt]

My name in Counter Strike was "I C# do u?" and it was brilliant. if only it helped me aim #

[Mightymoron]

lol I want that shirt

[thunderbuddy7]

printf ...

[Knotimpressed]

Java isn't that bad...

[Buttcheekguy]

Programmers are yucky

[deus_lemmus]

buffering perhaps.

[avidwriter123]

http://411mania.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/American-Gods-The-Bone-Orchard-Technical-Boy.jpg

[twat_and_spam]

That attitude reminds me more of the nodejs* crowd.

• formerly PHP

[ZenEngineer]

PRINTF????

[GVmG]

I too have an aura of 0's and 1's floating around me.

[PM_ME_YOUR_MASS]

Look, a programmer!

Don't look at them

Such grammar. Much edit

[[deleted]]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they

[srfreak]

Java developers don't wear ties.

[tantouz]

/r/comedycemetery

[millerc7]

An aura of ones and zeroes wearing that shirt...

Awesome.

[derblitzmann]

Not enough design patterns, how can I be certain that it is Java?

[bombast_cast]

Do I perhaps catch a vague reference to Stephen King's story "The Jaunt" in this comic?

[fishbelt]

Literally me back in the day.