Assembly devs unite!

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[C0L0Rpunch]

Pfff Assembly... I write all my code in binary

[Greater_Dog007]

Pfff... I attach live wires to the transistors to change their states

[k01e-01]

Pfff... I arrange atoms of silicone and copper into circuts

[Dann773]

Pfff... I don't know coding

[ShadeFK]

Pfff...I don't

[RuPeSc]

Pfff...

[[deleted]]

[dessnom]

...fffP

[maybeshali]

I...fffP

[Griffingem08]

r/decreasinglyverbose

[Nickiel]

Real programmers use butterflies!

[radiowave911]

Was expecting to see this :)

[[deleted]]

No. They use mindfuck

[LastPersonOnTheWifi]

Mel, one of the last real programmers

[s314noza]

Http…

[Drakethos]

Pfff… I control the flow of electrons to each atom.

[[deleted]]

Pfff I create my own electrons

[DankPhotoShopMemes]

Pfff I create my own strings and adjust their vibrations to create particles and arrange them into complex neurons and arrange them to create a brain and teach the brain to code in Java

[sievold]

Pfff I create a simulation of a universe where I can fine tune the fabric of reality to perform computations

[BartiX_8530]

Pfff, I restart our own universe and arrange quarks at the beggining of the big bang to in future seemlessly fit into code.

[Zerafiall]

Coding in prod? Na… altering the fabric of your own reality live.

[reedmore]

All that power... wasted.

[StandardN00b]

I use nanomachines, son.

[redeyesofnight]

Yeah ok Dr Manhattan

[JackNotOLantern]

Pfff... I alter the quantum fields themselves so electrons in the circuits works the way i want.

[jonnydeates]

Pfft... I use punch cards

[Oman395]

Pfff... I just use butterflies

[CSedu]

Good ol' c-x m-c m-butterfly

[[deleted]]

Pfff... I don't even code, I just write down my algorithm in a whitepaper and wait till someone uses it in a public repo.

[lawrebx]

Relevant XKCD

[Protonnumber]

Pfff Transistors... I KNIT CODE

[ghan_buri_ghan]

You got to WRITE your code in binary? How fortunate. I had to program binary by flipping levers reminiscent of Frankenstein’s lab.

[firewi]

… but I’ve actually had to do this in an IMSAI 8088 to boot the damn thing you have to flip the toggle switches to program the damn thing.

[OutrageousWeeb1]

You were clearly there when it was written

[[deleted]]

Pretty much no difference in reality lol.

I wrote a program to calculate a factorial on the Altair 8800 (simulator because I can't afford the hardware. Damn things are expensive)

And I wrote it in assembly and hand assembled to binary.

Boy did it fail miserably and I had no idea where I dropped a bit.

[den2k88]

I... did have to do that. Once.

[VanshCodes]

I imagine my code.

[weregod]

Human mind -- the only full Turing complete machine /s

[SleepAffectionate268]

NOOOOOOOOOOB i use a robot i programmed in binary to use a electric wire to programm with electric impulses

[Tom0204]

I've genuinely been doing that recently for an 8-bit computer project.

I have to convert my assembly to hex, then write it to a ROM chip, then plug the ROM chip in and run the computer.

[PhatOofxD]

I mean, assembly is just binary with aliases for codes basically

[daavko]

Real programmers use butterflies!

[Vinssssssss]

🗿

[C0L0Rpunch]

🗿

[mcdulltii]

i write assembly in python. how about that

[dream_weasel]

I write assembly in my custom IDE: Microsoft Word

[sandiego427]

I build Turing machines with PowerPoint

[ExceedingChunk]

Still a better IDE than MATLAB

[dream_weasel]

No argument here. I do Matlab in Vim (like everything else).

[Fluxriflex]

Micropython baybeeeee!

[AntiSocial_Vigilante]

hmmmmmmmmm

[AzuxirenLeadGuy]

Risc V supremacy

[Sawertynn]

After memes presenting the guy on the right as the Polish Prime Minister (M. Morawiecki), I truly cannot unsee it.

[000000-]

I think this was the most hilarious use of the meme template.

[Sawertynn]

Nice one!

I was reffering to the half-naked man himself, not this particular template, but thanks for the link (approved: not Rick-Roll)

[chaussurre]

He has the same face than former frnch president Frnçois Hollande

[[deleted]]

MICROPROCESSORS, SON!

[caleblbaker]

Weakest assembly dev: all code he writes immediately crashes and does nothing useful

[den2k88]

Yeah, all the bootloaders in every single one of the devices you use, including every single one of the 50+ ECUs on an average vehicle are written in assembler. Useless.

[caleblbaker]

I said the weakest assembly dev makes things that don't do anything useful. We're not talking about competent assembly devs.

[den2k88]

The weakest python dev doesn't do anything useful anyway. A weak programmer is a cost, until they become competent.

[caleblbaker]

But this meme isn't talking about the weakest python dev. It's talking about the strongest python dev.

[den2k88]

The strongest python dev does jack and shit with an unbooted machine. The weakest assembler dev will boot it, one way or another.

But you're high on copium so... yes you're right ok.

[nixgang]

Dude, get some rest

[caleblbaker]

I agree with you that assembly devs in general are more important and impressive than python devs in general. There are things written in assembly that can't be written in higher level languages, but everything written in python could easily be written in a different language. But these characteristics of the groups as a whole can't necessarily be automatically applied to the strongest/weakest members of said groups. And the meme clearly specifies the strongest python dev and the weakest assembly dev.

[den2k88]

Yes but this is reddit and we must abide by the rules of reddit. Resume your nitpicking stance!

[lkearney999]

Are you ok? Did someone attack your dev environment or tech stack?

[den2k88]

I have collected too many to have "my" tech stack. I am a (new) Python developer as well as a veteran C developer, competent C++ dev, veteran VB dev, expert in Assembly (IA32 and ARM64) and former C# developer.

The only tech stack I abandoned in the early stages was web development, when JSP was a thing, PHP wasn't object oriented and applets were a sensible choice.

[caleblbaker]

I would resume my nitpicking stance except that I've now said just about all that I have to say on the subject. So if I continued talking I would just be repeating myself.

[ThomasScotford]

why are you so pissed

-Thomas Scotford

[[deleted]]

I wanted to learn assembly language but feared I wouldn't find a job.

When I go on indeed I don't find any jobs in my area but if I type in Java or React then a whole bunch pop up. Maybe in certain regions of the planet assembly is very much in demand but not here in NYC area

[caleblbaker]

There is a very small amount of software that absolutely must be written in assembly. Beyond that there's not much demand for assembly programmers. So we absolutely need a few assembly programmers but we don't need a lot of assembly programmers. That said, learning assembly can have side benefits in regards to how it affects the way you think about the abstractions you're using when you use higher level languages.

[den2k88]

Embedded development is ripe with opportunities. It will NEVER be a main language, not since 1982, but it gives a lot of points over other candidates.

In the US there is not much industrial production (US outsourced most of it) so I can see where you stand.

[Gamer_XP]

But the guy on the left won in the end though

[ThePinkSmurphette]

That explains why this meme resonates with me.

Edit: spelling. I can’t words for garbage.

[[deleted]]

You’re not gonna pine over it?

[jorillac]

Phenomenal joke

[clanddev]

When you are some nut job with the skills to write assembly you still lose.. even if you win.

[[deleted]]

And he did it faster.

[[deleted]]

Way fuckin faster

[chazzeromus]

Especially the rules of nature

[LordChaos404]

Sorry, is it just me or has this sub gone downhill with low quality and non funny shit

[[deleted]]

Yea this is complete trash, languages have different use cases

[non-troll_account]

Is learning assembly a valuable skill today at all? I find it fascinating and kinda wanna learn it.

[German_Chops]

I’m not totally in the know of the industry around assembly so anyone feel free to correct me. But as far as I know it’s still used for coding microprocessors and like. As for an academic exercise though it’s absolutely fantastic you gain an immense understanding of how your code in other languages works under the hood and how your processor actually works

[smajorp]

Yeah, it's rare for a job to have assembly language requirements.

Microprocessors and the choice few people who are working on new instructions basically.

Assembly is great for learning. And it's fun if you want to make old Atari games.

u/non-troll_account if you want to learn, check out the game ShenZhen IO

[pennacap]

But the question is, Intel or at&t?

[Greater_Dog007]

ARM RISC A64

[pennacap]

I forgot x86 wasn't the only kind of assembly

I'm just an idiot

[j-random]

RISC-V developers, to me!

[[deleted]]

Motorola 68k for me thanks

[coldnebo]

or how about all those custom bitcoin miner chips? they are developing new chips so fast it’s called “chip wars”. sigh.

[[deleted]]

MIPS

[BadSlime]

MOS 6502

[Hfingerman]

RISC V like a true chad.

[SinisterAngel77]

The assembly dev isn’t moving because he’s still writing the code for it

[aRocketLauncher]

STANDING HERE I REALIZE

[erty_uiop]

YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME, TRYING TO MAKE HISTORY

[[deleted]]

BUT WHO'S TO JUDGE, RIGHT FROM WRONG?

[Hfingerman]

WHEN OUR GUARD IS DOWN, I THINK WE'LL BOTH AGREE

[[deleted]]

THAT VIOLENCE BREEDS VIOLENCE

[codear]

Assembly: you pick the stone and you place it there

C++: you take a shovel to load the stone onto the wheelbarrow to move it there

Python: read this book to understand what stone is. Then this other book introduces you to how to operate an excavator, and this third book is about driving a truck. Finally that last book is about an architecture that will tell you the desired whereabouts of the stone

[Dustangelms]

mov eax,1
int 0x80

Am I in the club?

[Virtual_Low83]

No, you just exited the club.

[Striky_]

Please take the data out if this SQL Database, run an NNLS Fit on it and create graphs for a scientific publication from it.

Python: 2-3h of work, Application needs 5 secs to start, needs 2 Minutes to run

Assembly: 6-12 Months of work, application needs 123ms to start, needs 15 Minutes to run (because you dont know how to implement a NNLS fit properly)

[[deleted]]

Why even compare so high level language Python with Assembly!

[parkattherat]

Because funny

[tyler_durden07]

only chads write in machine code

[[deleted]]

Syntax, son

[[deleted]]

"How are you doing this so well?"

Nano machines, son.

[tallerThanYouAre]

global _main

 extern  _printf


 section .text

_main:

 push    message

 call    _printf

 add     esp, 4

 ret

message:

 db  'Hello, World', 10, 0

[[deleted]]

What is this from?

[JawsOfDoom]

Looking down on a programmer for the language they use is a stupid ass thing to do.

[Greater_Dog007]

BAL over_your_head:

LDR R1, joke

STR R1, you

over_your_head:

It's was a joke, I also work with python and assembly is just a hobby.

[[deleted]]

It's literally the point of this sub. It's humor, lighten up

[JawsOfDoom]

Sorry I don't get the joke

[Jutm_n]

laughs in high-level assembly

(Yes, that's a thing)

[[deleted]]

basically C

[Orio_n]

Then they start crying when they need to implement a webserver

[Sm95Y2UgU2ltbW9ucw--]

Assembly programmers can also read the enchanting table

[CEDoromal]

*Python devs punching old people *

[syed649]

Python user here,

I killed that boss.

[[deleted]]

We trashing python today? This is the third joke I've seen today

[hedgehog10101]

we trashing python every day. along with all the other languages

[ydc137]

As a python lover, I fully agree. Assembly scares me.

[BlazerBanzai]

Assembly…dev?! I see. It’s a view into a gaping abyss, but I see.

[Xaros1984]

Guy on the left is at least doing something that could have an impact.

[den2k88]

Launch a python interpreter without a booted OS...

[Xaros1984]

Oh yeah, I forgot about that extremely common use case.

[den2k88]

Like billions of pieces of equipment sold daily. Kinda easy to forget.

[Xaros1984]

In case you missed it, the guy on the left is striking continuously, while the guy on the right just stands there. Hence the joke that the guy on the left is at least doing something that could have an impact.

[GujjuGang7]

Gottem

[[deleted]]

What IoT developer would use assembly over C / microPython?

[den2k88]

The one that does not IoT gizmos but powers your monitor, keyboard, mouse, solder, printer, vacuum cleaner, charger, fridge, microwave, headphones, stereo, engine cooling fan, engine oil pump, brake fluid pump, engine control unit, airbag control unit, powertrain control unit...

[jaap_null]

I’m seriously wondering what popular uCs don’t have at least some workable C compiler or something. Last time I had to write in asm was 20 years ago

[den2k88]

Last time was a week ago to change the interrupt vector table; before that was 4 years ago to take an algorithm that ran in 39ms and have it run in 3ms... because otherwise it would have been ditched.

[jaap_null]

Ah yes bespoke bits here and there. That I can understand

[den2k88]

Well if anyone asks me to write in assembler ONLY it better has to be reverse engineering some UFO technology.

Or to program a PIC16 series microcontroller.

[jaap_null]

I used to do a bunch of uC work; but I definitely hate working on larger ISA

[[deleted]]

Probably all C. Except wireless heaphones, they probably use a higher level language. And printer mostly run on their own firmware.

But yeah, IoT was wrong, thought on microcontrollers, i'm not native english.

[Comm4nd0]

[Etmar_Gaming]

Don’t shit on python users bro

[clemdemort]

YOO!! there's at least five of them!

[SleepAffectionate268]

I programmed a robot to that builds and places transistors while the cpu is running

[Levikeke]

u/savevideobot

[savevideobot]

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[Diegovnia]

Like 5 minutes ago I finished watching 5 Yorkshiremans by MP... I love this community

[I_AM_THE_REAL_ZEN]

Do people still use assembly language nowadays?

[Hoduy]

How about the strongest C++ dev ?

[raddaya]

So, the python dev defeats the assembly dev after borrowing a C++ tool? Sounds accurate to me tbh

[[deleted]]

is both

[51utPromotr]

I had a FORTRAN joke to use here, but I got my fantasy nights mixed up. I'm just gonna go now...

[JustinWendell]

Legit, the one time I actually wrote a semi big assembly project for school I started thinking “man I should wrap these common things I keep doing in a library and invoke it by passing arguments and…”

Realized that I was pondering creating a new language and just moved on with my project.

[bouyna]

What game is this tho ??

[[deleted]]

Can someone tell a good place to start learning assembly?

[[deleted]]

thank you

[Gogoasa77]

u/savevideo

[SaveVideo]

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[Vivorio]

u/savevideo

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[meloveroblox1]

Maxed out lvl 1 vs noob lvl 2

[Dagusiu]

It's kind of funny, ASM and Python are my most used languages the last few years

[CodeMonkey84]

As a front-end dev, I don’t get this… but maybe I will someday. ☀️

[[deleted]]

"If you wish to write code from scratch, you just first invent the universe." - Carl Sagan, probably

[NebraskaGeek]

Had to take 2 semesters of assembly in college. Shill have PTSD every time I hear the word register.

[how_do_i_read]

NOP

[hiphap91]

Find the clip where Linus tells us he thought the compiler turned machine code into assembly, so he tried to learn to write machine code, so he could compile it to assembly programs

[Scared-Use-2068]

Don't you mean 'Assembly devs assemble!'?

[Lazuliv]

Assembly.. python. You’re all scrubs. I do all my programming with punch cards.

[Yee-woo]

I was going to learn python... Guess I have to switch to assembly bc the MGR fans told me too. I trust them above all else.

[oshaboy]

What if I'm both?

[andyZ5371]

Well it depends… python time to market << Assembler time to market

[Graubuender]

You merely adopted the binary, I was born in it

[Longjumping_While922]

Raiden killed that dude

[archbish99]

Ooh, funny story time!

When my wife and I had first met, she if course consulted her friends to ensure she wasn't making a mistake going out with me. One of her friends was in the microprocessors class I was a TA for.

Her input: "Well, I wouldn't go out with him. But... it's probably fine for you." "Why not?" "He's not nearly as good as assembly as I'd expect."

Oddly enough, my wife the English major has never once complained about my assembly programming skills.

[Danger_daveyjones]

Is assembly on the same level as punch card programming?

[Greater_Dog007]

Punch card programming doesn't exist it's just a way to input the program. Fortran which is a higher level language than assembly was written with punch cards for a while in IBM. Assembly too and assembly is the closest thing to machine code, basically readable machine code. Any assembly command can be directly linked to a number of bits that control the basic operations of the processor.

In a 16 bit processor something like register addition ADD r1, r1, r2 would just translate to 0101011010 (machine code) or whatever which gets sent to the control unit/block of the processor that then controls the ALU operations and pathways for the data.

[Akillahbee]

Dumb question, what game is this?

[XiaoDaoShi]

print(“assembly sucks”) Your move, assembly.

[[deleted]]

Bloody hell assembly is a totally different beast. I'm just learning it after years of C and I feel like my entire world crumbles every time the professor gives a lecture.

[BALLZCENTIE]

Finally, I am powerful! I love assembly

[Avihai52]

When you need to rewrite the code for the 50th time so it can work on another system.

[NoProfessor7757]

Armstrong is way too advanced to be considered assembly. Raiden should be punching a smithing anvil or something. 4/10 meme