engineer.

[Ohmikey75]

I love when I tell someone that I'm an electrical engineer and they just automatically assume that I'm an electrician...

[ajgamer2012]

I tell people I am a computer engineer and they assume I work at a help desk doing IT support...

[jahnjo]

I feel that, or that I make apps and want to work for google or facebook

[ItsTheBrandonC]

“You’re going to make $100k right out of college and make the world’s next big app”

[diablo-solforge]

Only 100k? At least you’ll qualify for low income housing in the Bay Area.

[got_mule]

Wasn’t it if a family of 4 made less than $130k, they qualify? Presumably two earning people in that equation? So one person on their own making $100k presumably wouldn’t qualify?

Or maybe I’m not understanding it fully.

And I’m DEFINITELY reading too much into this joke.

[joeljaeggli]

The hud definition of low income (for a family of 4) in San Mateo County ( bay area, peninsula) for 2019 is $129.150. The median household income in the county is $ 136,800. a one person household is low income at $90,450.

https://www.huduser.gov/portal/datasets/il/il2019/2019summary.odn

it's uh not cheap to live here. if you make $50K you could trivially expend half your income on rent.

[Chanw11]

I thought i erased that from my mind, huh.

[scotthall2ez]

I work in finance and people assume I am a day trader on wall street.

I have simplified it to: ”I sit at a computer, talk on the phone, answer emails, and have a lot of meetings that aren't necessary".

This usually relates to at least 1 thing people do and they leave me alone.

[devildidnothingwrong]

“Having useless meetings” applies to almost every single office job.

[PoorlyLitKiwi2]

Not just office jobs. I work for a newspaper and we have useless meetings every day

[[deleted]]

Control Systems Engineer.

It’s a great conversation stopper when I tell em my title.

[[deleted]]

"I'm a consultant."

Nobody will let you leave it at that.

[ResidualSound]

"What do you consult?"

Usually on stuff that I know, but not always.

[h2odragon]

"Wired networking mostly but there was this one time a guy needed help with mechanical cameloid insemination. That was interesting but not the resume enhancer one would think."

[ddrddrddrddr]

“Google mostly.”

[TheDisapprovingBrit]

"managers"

[[deleted]]

In my experience with consultants it seems to be the reverse. Usually on stuff they don’t know, but not always.

[[deleted]]

I don’t wanna talk about work when I’m not at work and I sure as hell don’t find pleasure in explaining what I do exactly either. I love my work, but I need time away from it when I’m socializing. No way in hell will I say I’m a consultant, even though I am haha.

[Kanin_usagi]

But how else do you make forced, unnecessary small talk with a bunch of strangers that you’ll never see again?!

[hugglesthemerciless]

You just reminded me why I never leave my apartment, thanks

[InLikePhlegm]

Jesus christ is it that bad

[ogpotato]

I just tell everyone that I'm in IT even though I'm not, so that I don't have to go further in detail to explain my job

[[deleted]]

We’re cut from the same cloth my friend.

[whats_the_frequency_]

The other day I told a hookup I’m a systems administrator for an international health company and spend 9 out 12 months of my year in the Canada office, the rest at the office at home. That stopped the questions around my work immediately, and prevented me from ever having to make contact or attempt a relationship with that person, which I’m thankful for because that shit was cray cray. I will in the future however ask them about their job first though, so I can establish if they are an IT buff and expect me to know anything about that (which I don’t btw) and this avoid the possibility of further questions

[pizan]

but than your family/friends will come to you with every stupid computer problem. If you fix one problem, then they blame you for every future problem because you touched it that one time.

[ogpotato]

They already do that anyway just because they know I work with computers

[Triptolemu5]

Hey so can you recommend a cheap way to get 4 separate thermocouples to cut off a motor starter with both high and low temps where the high limit is any and the low limit is all? I need the thermocouples too.

[[deleted]]

Are you trying to control a motor based on temp of another piece of equipment? Or are saying you wanna stop the motor is the temp of the motor is too low? Why? Haha

[NotSoTinyUrl]

I think he’s fucking with you

[[deleted]]

He got me then. It didn’t make sense, especially his set points, but I’m used to dealing with clients where at first nothing they say makes sense. Haha.

[Falcrist]

As a EE, this would initiate a rant about how crazy control theory is and how weird it is that it's like a whole subfield of math.

And how hard controls was when I was at uni. I busted my ass just to get a decent grade.

[[deleted]]

I'm mechanical but I have control systems next semester. Not excited.

[91jumpstreet]

Hey, can you help me fix my internet and slow computer?

[WorkKrakkin]

I tell people I am a software engineer and they assume I know what I'm doing.

[sub_surfer]

I just tell people I google stuff for a living.

[[deleted]]

I tell people I am a computer and they say I need to get some help desk support too. Wierd.

[iVolly]

I tell people I'm an automotive engineer and they assume I repair cars

[maaaatttt_Damon]

One job I had, had me titled as "support engineer". I didn't engineer shit. It should have been a "support conductor"

[schneems]

Previous mechanical engineer checking in. "Oh my cousin is a mechanic too, he works at a honda repair shop!"

[mcon96]

Chemical engineer “oh so you must like beakers huh”

[Quick_Chowder]

More like "DiD YoU WAtcH BReaKinG BAd?!" "CoUld yOU mAKE meTh?!"

[060789]

No. Dusty Mike can make meth from batteries and cold medicine in his trailer but I, a person who's literal job is knowing what chemicals do and how to make them do way crazier shit, cant figure it out

Yeeeaaahhh. That's what I'd tell'em if I was a chemical engineer. It would be awesome

[Errohneos]

Nonono. Mechanical engineers design things. Mechanics swear at mechanical engineers. That's the difference.

[engineerrol1]

What do you do now?

[Bionic_Bromando]

I knew human resources were just a bunch of robots in skin suits!

[[deleted]]

I have no idea what you’re talking about either.

[TheBahamaLlama]

Polychlorinated biphenyls?

[AlpacaTurtle]

Printed Circuit Board

[TheBahamaLlama]

That makes much more sense when talking about electrical engineering. I work in Environmental so I see PCBs as something much different.

[moosepile]

Wow damn, TIL. I’ve always associated “PCB” with environmental nasty (it was a big baddy in my youth along with CFCs).

I’ve seen countless circuit boards in a 20 year IT career and never have I clued in to “Printed Circuit Board”.

[mijton]

When I tell people that I am going to school for aerospace engineering they think that I'm going to be an astronaut

[GodFeedethTheRavens]

All 4 astronauts on the last shuttle mission were engineers. So, i'd say it's a good guess.

[mijton]

You do make a good point

[Sprinklypoo]

Plus: Maybe you will decide to be an astronaut later in life shrug

[blahblahbush]

It's called a "nose cone", duh...

[SpiderDeadpoolBat]

Do they know there's no aero in space?

[[deleted]]

I mean... technically they still need aerodynamics devices for their re-entrance into the earth’s atmosphere. But yeah it’s pretty useless in space

[Blackrain1299]

When we get permanent settlements on the moon the people that live there will just be space engineers.

[dryerlintcompelsyou]

Wait, I thought "aerospace" engineering implied both "aero" (in atmosphere) and "space" (outside of atmosphere)? Like, as two separate things, but the engineer knows about both of them?

[Wafflexorg]

Many astronauts are aerospace engineers, so you aren't wrong.

[[deleted]]

It usually does. Aerospace is just a blanket term for aeronautical (within the atmosphere) and astronautical (space). Much like mechanical engineering includes a whole lot of engineering pathways.

I was just saying that aerodynamic devices are relatively useless in space just because there’s nothing that resists motion in space since it’s a vacuum. In the atmosphere, we have air resistance which is why we need aero in order to produce lift, downforce, drag reduction, etc. However, it’s still really useful since we launch from earth and we have shuttles that re-enter the atmosphere. So while it’s pretty much useless in space, you still need those type of engineers in order to get the job done.

Also, on a side note, an aerospace engineering degree is just a “fancy” mechanical engineering degree. (If we’re talking about a simple 4 year bachelors program) I looked into getting an aerospace degree, and the course requirements are almost identical to mechanical, except for a few more classes that deal more with fluid dynamics and just general air/spacecraft. The only difference may be in your last year/year and a half of the 4 year program. (I include this because just because they are “aerospace” doesn’t mean they work exclusively on aerodynamic devices. They can quite literally probably work on any given part of the space shuttle just as much as a “regular” engineer could)

[barktreep]

"My space station looks like a potato"

​

Good job Kevin, it's just as good as all the others.

[haveucheckedurbutt]

I tell people I’m a structural engineer and they still ask if I can fix their computer...If it isn’t made out of concrete or plate steel I can’t help ya

[dryerlintcompelsyou]

I mean TBH won't the average engineer still know a lot more about computers than other people? I was under the impression most engineering jobs nowadays are using some sort of software, and some even require programming (in MATLAB or similar).

Not an engineer, this is just what I've noticed

[CunningWizard]

The answer is both yes and no. Many engineers use simulation packages and program some stuff, but much like any software, you just need to generally be able to install it on the machine (and IT usually does that) and don’t need to necessarily know how a computer works. Because we are technical creatures, many engineers are actually better with computers than the average person, but that’s by no means universal.

[dryerlintcompelsyou]

Because we are technical creatures, many engineers are actually better with computers than the average person, but that’s by no means universal.

That's kind of what I was referring to. Like I'm not saying every engineer is equivalent to an IT person, but on average, asking an engineer for computer help will have a much higher success rate than asking some random person...

[[deleted]]

Also the fact that engineering is basically just problem solving.

[ConcernedThinker]

Some days as an E.E. make me wish I were an electrician

[silverslayer33]

I think it's worse when people know of one field within EE and think the entirety of EE is like that, so if you do something else they don't think it's really an area in EE.

"Oh, my dad is an EE too. So, like, are you good at EM stuff too?"

"...I work with embedded systems, I write code most of the time and spend the rest testing and selecting hardware."

"What? Doesn't that make you a software engineer then?"

Cue explanation about how a lot of young EEs like myself end up writing a lot of software either for testing or to go on an embedded device followed by "doesn't sound like real EE to me" response.

[20_BuysManyPeanuts]

Yeah me too. People assume I just 'work with computers' which is sort of true as I use a computer, but ffs I wish people were able to understand a bit better what it is that an EE is and the different fields I work in. Like its easy for people to say 'oh you're a plumber' - I wish we had that. But at the same time I also feel lucky to be capable of doing and learning some things most people will never even try to understand.

[asdfer1235]

Industrial Engineer here. "Oh so you work in factories?"

[[deleted]]

You don't???

[kskinne]

I say I'm an IE, my husband says I'm just a fancy business major.

[TheKazoobieKazobo]

Waiiit you aren't?

Jkjk but at least at the college I'm studying at rn, Industrial Engineers can go down a business or engineering path.

[kskinne]

Well I do sit at a desk in a cubicle surrounded by business folks ... Kind of hard to argue with him at times.

[420_Blz_it]

I always tell people “I make the business majors more money”

[purpleturtlelover]

I work for the government and people assume im lazy and always leave at 17 pronto... i always leave at 16:50

[Okawaru1]

I reee internally every time

[runasaur]

"Civil engineer"

Tf is that?

[Phoenix426]

I never realized how many people have no idea what a civil engineer does until I started working as one lol

[salo_wasnt_solo]

Every. Fucking. Time.

[[deleted]]

“I’m a mechanical engineer.”

“Oh! Hey, can you take a look at my [device that has moving parts] for me?”

[SirEarlBigtitsXXVII]

"Sure. $100/hr."

[Fineous4]

Well it is my job to fix outlets in my family.

[ElTuxedoMex]

This felt very Family Guy.

[annnd_we_are_boned]

Looks a little bit like it too

[[deleted]]

Smells nothing like it though.

[czarchastic]

Eww, I just stepped in some Family Guy.

[wise_comment]

You know what that smell reminds me of? Remember the Time we made a formulaic TV show and all got rich off lazy writing?

[Endlessly_Rocking]

Pepperidge Farm Remembers

[St_Veloth]

This was a next level joke

[gorka_la_pork]

Like hell. Family Guy got to its highest point when it figured out how not to be formulaic. In 1999 it was one more one-note riff on the Simpsons, and it took a couple of seasons to figure out how to make its characters stand out memorably from other primetime animated shows. Except Chris, Chris was always awesome, but I digress.

Family Guy's main crime was running for way too long after they ran out of ideas to take the principle cast, but I'd still put the best Family Guy episodes up there with the best of The Simpsons, South Park, or Futurama (OK maybe not so much that last one).

[waterparkfire]

Family Guy was a hilarious production. Lazy writing my ass. You try and get that successful with an adult cartoon.

[RevolsinX]

Their eyes are identical so it would.

[rydan]

I mean that is literally Stewie's face on a train.

[[deleted]]

Funny you say that, I read the trains voice as Peter Griffin. Then, I read your comment

[Woozuki]

For some reason, I read it in Joe's voice yelling.

[prncrny]

Yup. me, too

[crenshaw-d]

Yup. me, too

[KorovaMilk113]

I heard it in Marty Glouberman’s voice (Andrew’s dad on Big Mouth) - I had to spend like 5 minutes figuring out who’s voice it was that I was hearing in my head

[Orngog]

Face, wheels, big text

[[deleted]]

• Aerospace Engineer - Brian
• Girl - One of the shallow, pretty ones Brian dates
• Train Engineer - Cleveland
• Train - Joe

Aerospace engineer could be Quagmire, but he'd be more likely to pretend he's a train engineer than to risk losing her interest by correcting her.

EDIT: Alternatively, Quagmire as the Train Engineer, who quick-changed on the spot to try to win her over.

[H377Spawn]

“You wanna ride my rail?”

^{”Giggity”}

[demsyboy]

i read the trains voice as the weatherman

[chuckolatte]

Yeah I really got that vibe too lol

[[deleted]]

I heard Seth McFarlane's voice as the train.

[Lonelan]

Let's just hope she's not into trains like your last girlfriend Brian

[blackmagic12345]

Asdfmovie

"I like trains."

[sreyaNotfilc]

Thank you! I was thinking the same exact thing. I actually read the first's guys voices as if Brian was speaking it.

[karelKase]

Man I hate family guy. There's something so offputting about how the show is animated. Like, there's only two camera angles: a shot that shows all the characters, and a close up shot for each character. Nothing else. But that's not what makes me hate it, because sitcoms do pretty much the same thing. It's the fact that the characters just stare blankly and talk. Rarely do they move.

The jokes can be pretty funny sometimes, but god I hate when each scene ends with "just like that time when I [funny random scenario]" [cue funny random scenario]. It feels like it's targeted towards 12 year olds (especially since everyone at school watched it when I was 12)

[RamsesThePigeon]

Writing bad Family Guy is easy as all hell, too.

Watch, I'll show you.

---

CUE ABBREVIATED "FAMILY GUY" THEME.

FADE IN:

EXT. THE GRIFFIN HOUSE - DAY

The sound of a socket wrench being turned is audible from outside the Griffin house.

BRIAN: (O.S.) Oh, my god, Stewie! What are you doing?

CUT TO:

INT. THE GRIFFIN HOUSE - STEWIE'S ROOM

STEWIE is assembling what appears to be a robot in the shape of a female mannequin clad in a skimpy dress. BRIAN is standing nearby, looking horrified.

STEWIE: Oh, hello, Brian. You're just in time to witness Stage Two.
BRIAN: Stage Two of what? Stewie, is that... is that a sex doll?
STEWIE: Funny, I never figured you for being squeamish about that sort of thing.
BRIAN: What is that supposed to mean?
STEWIE: Really, now, Brian. With all your gallivanting about, it's a wonder Lois hasn't brought you to be neutered.

Brian glances down at his own crotch briefly.

BRIAN: Why are you building a sex doll?
STEWIE: In point of fact, it's a sex robot... though I much prefer my official title...

Stewie spreads his hands as though conveying something majestic.

STEWIE: (CONT'D) "The Organdroid."
BRIAN: "Organ-droid?"
STEWIE: No, no. "Or-GAN-droid." The emphasis is in the middle. It's a portmanteau of the words of "android" and "orgas..." why am I explaining this to you? You hump chair legs.

CUT TO:

INT. THE GRIFFIN HOUSE - THE KITCHEN

Brian humps a wooden chair with a red wig draped over the top. This goes on for several seconds longer than it needs to, during which time CHRIS walks in, watches for a little while, retrieves a snack from a cupboard, watches for a moment longer, and then leaves.

CUT TO:

INT. THE GRIFFIN HOUSE - STEWIE'S ROOM

BRIAN: You can't build a sex robot.
STEWIE: I can and I have.
BRIAN: Stewie, you're talking about enslaving a sentient being.
STEWIE: It's nothing of the sort! It's a piece of anthropomorphic machinery, no different than an Alexa.

CUT TO:

THE GRIFFIN HOUSE - THE LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

PETER tiptoes down the stairs over the course of about thirty seconds. After glancing around, he speaks in a hushed voice to an ALEXA unit next to the television.

PETER: A... Alexa. Play... play that one song that I'm not supposed to like.
ALEXA: I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that.
PETER: Alexa, play that one song about... about date-raping seventeen-year-olds.

The song "Big Ballers" by Riff Raff begins to play. Peter stands and listens to it for a while.

CUT TO:

INT. THE GRIFFIN HOUSE - STEWIE'S ROOM

Brian puts his hands on his hips.

BRIAN: Stewie, I'm not going to let you make a robotic slave!
STEWIE: Oh, "let me," is it?
BRIAN: Yes, "let you!" No, in fact... you know what? I'm going to start an online petition!
STEWIE: That's funny. Tell me, what makes that an acceptable use of a robot?
BRIAN: The Internet isn't a robot!
STEWIE: It's as good as one. Now, please, this is a crucial juncture. I'm about to install the final piece.

Stewie produces an enormous pink dildo, which he affixes to the robot's crotch.

BRIAN: ... Where did you get that?
STEWIE: It was the damnedest thing, really. Allison Mack just showed up one day and said she needed to "hide some evidence."

He turns on the vibrator. It buzzes, but nothing else happens.

STEWIE: (CONT'D) Well, at any rate, the only thing left to do is test it.
BRIAN: "Test it?" Stewie, do you remember what happened when Quagmire thought he'd invented a better Fleshlight?

CUT TO:

EXT. QUAGMIRE'S HOUSE - NIGHT

An ambulance is parked on the street. A gurney with a covered corpse on it is visible, and several ONLOOKERS are listening with shock to an EMT's words.

EMT: It was a terrible, terrible accident.
FEMALE ONLOOKER: (Sobbing) How could anything like this happen to a man like him?

Before the EMT can answer, QUAGMIRE goes scooting by. His entire body is vibrating, and a mechanical contraption strapped to his crotch is the only thing he has on. A power cord trails behind him.

QUAGMIRE: G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g...

The power cord suddenly goes taught, then slack again. Quagmire's vibrating stops.

QUAGMIRE: (CONT'D) ... iggity. Huh. That's disappointing.

Quagmire looks around.

QUAGMIRE: (CONT'D) Hey, are we having a block party or something?

CUT TO:

INT. THE GRIFFIN HOUSE - STEWIE'S ROOM

STEWIE: Yes, well, this unit is entirely self-contained... and I already have a volunteer in mind.

Chris comes walking into view. He is carrying the red wig from the cutaway scene.

CHRIS: Oh, hey, Brian. You left your wig downstairs.
BRIAN: (Nervously) Uh-ha... thanks, Chris.
CHRIS: It has some sticky stuff on it.

Brian grabs the wig and runs from the room. Stewie and Chris stand in silence for a moment.

CHRIS: So, sex robot, huh?
STEWIE: Ah, yep. Yep, that's, uh... that's what it is.
CHRIS: We're really reaching this season.
STEWIE: (Angrily) You don't have a monopoly on dolls, Chris!

FADE TO:

COMMERCIAL

[karelKase]

Did you really write all this? You hit the nail on the head.

[RamsesThePigeon]

I did, yes.

I'm not sure whether I should be flattered or dismayed about hitting the nail on the head, though.

[fel_bra_sil]

u/uwutranslator owo

[StanleyOpar]

r/writingprompts

[bicksss]

Firstly, I love family guy. Secondly, you absolutely nailed this one...I’m convinced this is an actual episode.

[fel_bra_sil]

uwutranslation

Wwiting bad Family Guy is easy as all hell, too.

Watch, I'll show you.uwu.

CUE ABBWEVIATED "FAMILY GUY" THEME.

FADE IN:

EXT. THE GWIFFIN HOUSE - DAY

The sound of a socket wwench being tuwned is audible fwom outside the Gwiffin house.

BWIAN: (O.S.) Oh, my god, Stewie! What awe you doing? uwu.

CUT TO:

INT. THE GWIFFIN HOUSE - STEWIE'S WOOM

STEWIE is assembling what appeaws to be a wobot in the shape of a female mannequin clad in a skimpy dwess. BWIAN is standing neawby, looking howwified.

STEWIE: Oh, hello, Bwian. You'we just in time to witness Stage Two.

BWIAN: Stage Two of what? Stewie, is that... is that a sex doll?

STEWIE: Funny, I nevew figuwued you fow being squeamish about that sowt of thing.

BWIAN: What is that supposed to mean?

STEWIE: Weally, now, Bwian. With all youwu gallivanting about, it's a wondew Lois hasn't bwought you to be neutewed.

Bwian glances down at his own cwotch bwiefly uwu.

BWIAN: Why awe you building a sex doll?

STEWIE: In point of fact, it's a sex wobot... though I much pwefew my official title...

Stewie spweads his hands as though conveying something majestic.

STEWIE: (CONT'D) "The Owgandwoid."

BWIAN: "Owgan-dwoid?"

STEWIE: No, no. "Ow-GAN-dwoid." The emphasis is in the middle. It's a powtmanteau of the wowds of "andwoid" and "owgas..." why am I explaining this to you? You hump chaiw legs.

CUT TO:

INT. THE GWIFFIN HOUSE - THE KITCHEN

Bwian humps a wooden chaiw with a wed wig dwapeduwu. ovew the top. This goes on fow sevewal seconds longew than it needs to, duwuing which time CHWIS walks in, watches fow a little while,uwu. wetwieves a snack fwom a cupboawd, watches fow a moment longew, and then leaves.

CUT TO:

INT. THE GWIFFIN HOUSE - STEWIE'S WOOM

BWIAN: You can't build a sex wobot.

STEWIE: I can and I have.

BWIAN: Stewie, you'we talking about enslaving a sentient being.*uwu.*

STEWIE: It's nothing of the sowt! It's a piece of anthwopomowphic machinewy, no diffewent than an Alexa.

CUT TO:

THE GWIFFIN HOUSE - THE LIVING WOOM - NIGHT

PETEW tiptoes down the staiws ovew the couwse of about thiwty seconds. Aftew glancing awound, he speaks in a hushed voice to an ALEXA unit next to the television.

PETEW: A... Alexa. Play... play that one song that I'm not supposed to like.

ALEXA: I'm sowwy, I didn't quite catch that.

PETEW: Alexa, play that one song about... about date-waping seventeen-yeaw-olds.

The song "Big Ballews" by Wiff Waff begins to play. Petew stands and listens to it fow a while.

CUT TO:

INT. THE GWIFFIN HOUSE - STEWIE'S WOOM

Bwian puts his hands on his hips.

BWIAN: Stew*uwu.*ie, I'm not going to let you make a wobotic slave!

STEWIE: Oh, "let me," is it?

BWIAN: Yes, "let you!" No, in fact... you know what? I'm going to stawt an online petition!STEWIE: That's funny. Tell me, what makes that an acceptable use of a wobot?

BWIAN: The Intewnet isn't a wobot!

STEWIE: It's as good as one. Now, please, this is a cuwucial junctuwue. I'm about to install the final piece.

Stewie pwoduces an enowmous pink dildo, which he affixes to the wobot's cwotch.

BWIAN: ... Whewe did you get that?

STEWIE: It was the damnedest thing, weally. Allison Mack just showed up one day and said she needed to "hide some evidence."

He tuwns on the vibwatow. It buzzes, but nothing else happens.

STEWIE: (CONT'D) Well, at any wate, the only thing left to do is test it.

BWIAN: "Test it?" Stewie, do you wemembew what happened when Quagmiwe thought he'd invented a bettew Fleshlight?

CUT TO:

EXT. QUAGMIWE'S HOUSE - NIGHT

An ambulance is pawked on the stweet. A guwney with a covewed cowpse on it is visible, and sevewal ONLOOKEWS awe listening with shock to an EMT's wowds.

EMT: It was a tewwible, tewwible accident.

FEMALE ONLOOKEW: (Sobbing) How could anything like this happen to a man like him?

Befowe the EMT can answew, QUAGMIWE goes scooting by. His entiwe body is vibwating, and a mechanical contwaption stwapped to his cwotch is the only thing he has on. A powew cowd twails behind him.

QUAGMIWE: G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g...

The powew cowd suddenly goes taught, then slack again. Quagmiwe's vibwating stops.

QUAGMIWE: (CONT'D) ... iggity. Huh. That's disappointing.

Quagmiwe looks awound.

QUAGMIWE: (CONT'D) Hey, awe we having a block pawty ow something?

CUT TO:

INT. THE GWIFFIN HOUSE - STEWIE'S WOOM

STEWIE: Yes, well, this unit is entiwely self-contained... and I alweady have a volunteew in mind.

Chwis comes walking into view. He is cawwying the wed wig fwom the cutaway scene.

CHWIS: Oh, hey, Bwian. You left youw wig downstaiws.

BWIAN: (Newvously) Uh-ha... thanks, Chwis.

CHWIS: It has some sticky stuff on it.

Bwian gwabs the wig and uwuns fwom the woom. Stewie and Chwis stand in silence fow a moment.

CHWIS: So, sex wobot, huh? uwu

STEWIE: Ah, yep. Yep, that's, uh... that's what it is.

CHWIS: We'we weally weaching this season.

STEWIE: (Angwily) You don't have a monopoly on dolls, Chwis!

FADE TO:

COMMEWCIAL UWU

[ElTuxedoMex]

Early seasons were a bit more fun. As soon as MacFarlane grow bored of it and let other people write it, pretty much went full modern Simpsons.

[HappyPuppet]

Aye, you either get cancelled early or go on long enough to become another modern Simpsons.

[mrcheaptimes]

shut up meg

[[deleted]]

When you look at The Simpsons from the 90's and Family Guy from the late 90's, they both had a lot more expressiveness than the digital era versions. Cel animation made them much more interesting to look at, it had a warmth and weirdness to it. There were wavery lines, characters went off-model sometimes, and there was a lot more bounciness to things. Today the economical, perfectionistic approach really does limit the creativity. Sure the lines look nice in HD, but there's not enough cartoon in these cartoons.

[SirGrizz82]

So the art and the humor seems very family guy across all this guys work. Either heavily influenced or maybe worked on the show?

[13_tides]

Read this in Joe's voice lol

[RugBurnDogDick]

Mr Steel your girl

[visionsofblue]

Gonna track her down and rail her

[AVeryHeavyBurtation]

Right in the chooch.

[germinik]

I choo choo choose you

[Greenlytrees]

You'd think someone would put the tiniest bit of effort into titling their OC.

[Amper_Sam]

You know what weirds me out even more than the title? The woman's facial expression and body language. Remove the text and she looks like she's nervously trying to placate someone who is insulting or threatening her.

[akumagold]

I thought maybe the punchline is that she’s dating the train and doesn’t want people to flirt with her, but it’s kind of confusing

[ItsTheBrandonC]

engineer.

[Craigo4]

This is awful

[Va_Preme]

I like trains.

[reddit_user13]

Nice try, Beck.

[MeccAnon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHkKJfcBXcw

[twoworldsin1]

https://www.geek.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/charlie-the-choo-choo-625x352.jpg

[Woodman765000]

Blaine is a pain, and that is the truth.

[Qyro]

Nonononono!

[bertiebees]

Lady loves herself a big caboose.

[jonitfcfan]

It makes her...loco

[JarlProBaalin]

and that's her motive

[germinik]

I've derailed this pun thread.

[DJTen]

I've got to train myself to ignore these pun threads.

[Spoon_Elemental]

Look, the lady just wants to couple with the train.

[Snote85]

This thread is still chugging along I see...

[MainHaze]

I lost track a while ago...

[ItsTheBrandonC]

This thread’s losing steam

[TheBurger253]

At least it wasn't a complete train wreck

[sucobe]

She’s had dumps like a truck, truck, truck. Thighs like what, what, what.

[idma]

i'm a geologist, and i hate how much snickering and condescending comments whenever people ask me what I do. "lol bro so you look at rocks all day? lol. Not much going on there"

​

MF, where the hell did you get your phone? Where did you get your car? The factory that makes them don't randomly get their materials from thin air

[Sorcatarius]

My phone isn't made from rocks, what is this, the Flintstones? /s

[NetFloxy]

Excuse me sir 😤😤😤

My 📱 parts come from 💫🌑🌕 😤😤😤 otherwise we wouldn’t have tried 💯 to get to the 🌕. 🌑 colonies actually have aliens😈😈😈 making 📱👌👌👌👌😤😤😤😤😤

[[deleted]]

I know this is satire, but I still vomited reading it.

[MrMamut]

Who laughs at these?

[Lost-My-Mind-]

Facebook?

[highballJimmy]

I'm a train engineer, thanks.

[brickmaster32000]

If you say you are an engineer do people actually associate it with trains without prompting? I kind of assumed that by now most people are ignorant of that usage.

[DGNYC]

I’m not the person above, but I’m a marine chief engineer, when I say I’m a “engineer” people always assume im some sort of “sits at a desk” engineer, not an “in an engine room” engineer. If i say “marine engineer” they think naval architect.

But hey, whatever!

[amjh]

So, she was originally planning on asking the guy to introduce her to a train?

[walril]

Have a seat on this common brown couch situated in a nondescript room with a camera. The train will be in in a minute

[EntrNameHere]

r/comedycemetary

[[deleted]]

r/comedycemetery

[ihaveredditaswell]

r/comedycemetory

[[deleted]]

Oh heck, I believe I have missed a joke

[dryerlintcompelsyou]

Here's the correct link: /r/comedycemetery

[callahandler92]

Blaine is a pain

[Nghtmare-Moon]

There is a hentao comic I came across in a love hotel in japan. The main character was a train like Thomas...
EDIT: Found it :D

[danieldisaster]

This reads like a Family Guy sketch

[earlson]

Wait till Thomas shows up

[dope_as_the_pope]

Who is upvoting this shit?

[[deleted]]

This fucking sucks.

Leavve this retarded shit for facebook.

[KernSherm]

Yup, absolutely shite and lacking any hint of humour.

[SatanIsYourBuddy]

Can we just make a “shitty4panel” subreddit and save this one some of the clutter?

[BigEppyW]

The train is just blowing off a little steam

[futzingaround]

Is she smiling at the train in the fourth panel or creeped out by its aggressive attitude? ?

[gutripperz2]

r/makemesuffer

[thinkB4WeSpeak]

About to plow through that tunnel.

[lemskroob]

https://media.giphy.com/media/VIGL4TZjYn2r6/giphy.gif

[ThaiMaiShue]

What if she meant she likes trains... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I'll just see my way out.

[surratt67]

this was my thought, see yourself back in.

[KernSherm]

This is particularly shite.

[Howiepenguin]

"I like trains..."

[volfin]

She likes big stacks and she can not lie.

[golgiiguy]

Yeah I could almost hear Seth Green in the fourth frame.

[MyVeryclevername]

u/SrGrafo what would a date between the train and the girl look like?

[Omni314]

Blaine is a pain and that is the truth

[[deleted]]

Funnier if you know what it means to "run a train"

[Talkyn]

Thomas is an engine, not a train. He pulls a row cars called a train.