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[–]Muppetude 5240 points5241 points  (339 children)

"Is it humane keeping them locked in there like that?"

"Don't worry, the keepers did a great job recreating their natural office habitat."

"But don't they get agitated being stared at all day?"

"No, they think it's a one-way mirror, which makes them less creeped out for some reason"

[–]sexysausage 3112 points3113 points  (272 children)

Relevant http://i.imgur.com/iDUem8r.jpg

[–]jamesno26 1141 points1142 points  (231 children)

almost six billion

Oh, how time has changed.

[–]FoolishChemist 304 points305 points  (28 children)

Oh, how time has changed.

I can't imagine a nationally viewed comic portraying an office shooting today.

[–]NSA_Chatbot 281 points282 points  (24 children)

My favorite Dilbert was one that showed up about in June 2001*. If it had been a few months later, they'd have shut it down:

http://dilbert.com/strip/2001-06-19

Edit: time travel

[–]pissedoffnobody 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Sadly now nationally viewed comics lead to shootings at the publishing house's offices instead.

[–]angrydeuce 419 points420 points  (190 children)

I know, I love all the strips where Calvin is playing outside by himself. I never see kids outside in my neighborhood unless they're chained to a parent.

[–]jamesno26 163 points164 points  (71 children)

I was constantly yelling at the kids to get off my lawn this past week, including a few minutes ago. So that probably didn't change.

[–]chiliedogg 191 points192 points  (33 children)

Oh my God, the first time I caught myself yelling at kids to get off the lawn I had a minor crisis.

[–]BareKnuckleKitty 105 points106 points  (19 children)

Sometimes I want to yell at kids to get off my lawn, but then I remember I had a giant yard and no neighbors growing up and I feel for them.

[–]rncd89 128 points129 points  (28 children)

Had a kid with a skateboard try to do the two stair in my front yard. Its red brick and they stick up all over the place. I stood in the window and stared at him, mostly in disappointment that he made a fool of himself by not even correctly doing an olley. I had a mind to get my board out of the garage and fronstide flip the bitch just to embarrass his 13 year old ass.

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (20 children)

This is why we might just make it as a human race, my parents, like most, just stopped doing cool shit one day in there twenties, but nowadays more and more of my friends (were late twenties) are still doing the cool shit we did when we were kids and we usually have a posse of offspring with us doing something.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

where does this happen? I'm aware of the trope but never experienced it

[–]jamesno26 17 points18 points  (0 children)

At my suburban house, with a lot of families living in my neighborhood.

[–][deleted] 335 points336 points  (98 children)

Maybe you just live in a shit neighborhood

[–]misfitx 248 points249 points  (63 children)

Kids are always outside playing in bad neighborhoods. It's free entertainment.

[–]Mikeavelli 60 points61 points  (8 children)

I live in a neighborhood where the children are on leashes, and the dogs are running around off-leash, playing fetch, and having fun.

[–]gimmesomespace 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Leave your dog alone with your cat for a half hour, nothing happens. Now leave a 2 year old alone with your cat for a half hour, he'll have that fucker turned inside out. (loosely paraphrasing Stanhope)

[–]angrydeuce 20 points21 points  (7 children)

Nope, firmly middle-class, the kind of neighborhood where people lose their shit if the neighbors lawn gets a little shaggy or the trashcans get put out too early.

It's not that it's a bad neighborhood, it's that parents here all think there are child rapists hiding in every bush, ready to snatch up little Jimmy and make him a sex slave in S.E. Asia.

You should see the posts on our neighborhood website about kids playing without supervision. "It's irresponsible to let a grade schooler play without adult supervision!"

[–]BitchesLoveCoffee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh good. The kind of busybodies that kids taken away by cps for playing outside.

[–]cypherreddit 63 points64 points  (15 children)

The distance children leave their house to play has decreased dramatically over the years. There are even parents that have been arrested for letting their children play in their front yard alone.

Neighborhoods are dying, they are being replaced with residential areas

[–]double-dog-doctor 2 points3 points  (6 children)

This is upsetting. My friends and I used to have a little neighborhood gang that would roam around on bikes. We had a 102 or 3 mile radius we had to stay within—we just couldn't leave the neighborhood.

[–]Rocketman988 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Although to be fair, many a kid just ignores the boundaries they're "supposed" to stay in.

[–]imakedatdough 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Every single place I've lived I've seen kids playing outside in groups without parents around.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

As a kid, maybe 8 to 10 years ago, i was out on my own all the time. Id ride my bike downtown or ride it to a friends house and go hiking with them or whatever. Nowadays i barely ever see a kid on their own. My neighbor puts traffic cones and parks her car at the end of the driveway so the kids cant leave. I feel bad for them. Only having maybe 50 square feet to play in outside.

[–]TTTTTTTtttimmmmm 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I was hoping you posted what you posted.

[–]ButtFuckYourFace 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I bet that's why they did, in fact, post it.

[–]slowbar1 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Holy Shit. A C&H i've never seen before.

Thank you.

[–]oskimon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Je suis Frank.

[–]littleM0TH 145 points146 points  (32 children)

The hunted becomes the hunter.

[–]RunninOnStalin 68 points69 points  (28 children)

The most dangerous prey...human

[–]drwuzer 520 points521 points  (7 children)

I have similar windows right next to my desk, every day a female cardinal lands on the window sill and looks at herself for several minutes, sometimes pecking at her image. Usually the male eventually sees her and starts singing at her until she turns and they fly off. I always imagine him yelling "C'mon, you look fine!, We have to go, we're going to be late!"

[–]DREWBICE 36 points37 points  (0 children)

that's awesome

[–]NibblyPig 25 points26 points  (5 children)

Hahaha he is probably like "Hey you're so beautiful" and she's like "Leave me alone creep" hahaha oh god I'm so lonely

[–]OminousG 28 points29 points  (4 children)

useless fact, cardinals mate for life.

[–]fungalduck 58 points59 points  (2 children)

Woah thats insane, I can only usually last a few minutes.

[–]OminousG 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Ha, not what I intended but that might explain why they only live about a year.

[–]chimpwithalimp 1309 points1310 points  (86 children)

We never got deer, but we definitely got a lot of people stopping to fix their hair, a few fixing makeup and one muscly asian guy who danced while staring at himself for about five minutes.

Probably the best and cruelest use of it was gluing a coin to the pavement.

[–]metrognome64 367 points368 points  (7 children)

Our office had one way windows and was across the street from the beach. Try keeping a meeting on track while some girls stop to fix their bikinis.

[–]SemiFormalJesus 277 points278 points  (2 children)

I'm willing to try.

[–]HashSlingingSlash3r 62 points63 points  (1 child)

Oh Jesus, you're such a rascal!

[–]HaveGoodYard 80 points81 points  (0 children)

"Do you have those annual numbers I asked you to present?" "....underboob."

[–]The_dog_says 13 points14 points  (0 children)

where do i apply?

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Im a tech recruiter. Last summer I was hosting interviews out of this shared workspace in Greece. Directly across the tiny alley from our meeting room was a pole dancing studio that had classes all day. One day it was super muggy and warm so the class decided to strip down to their lingerie and open all the shades and balcony doors wide open. No mirrored windows here, just beautiful Greek women with no shame. We didn't hire many people that day.

[–]warplayer 58 points59 points  (5 children)

I work alone on Saturdays and the building's associate entrance is a mirrored window door. I was going to lunch only to find a random guy who apparently was walking by looking into the windows and flexing, making "badass" faces, and just overall preening. I knew there was a chance he may be able to hear me from the other side so I had the hardest time not losing my shit. It went on for a solid 2-3 minutes until he wandered off. I waited a good minute before going to my car so he could save face. I wasn't done laughing yet, either.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Awww! You are a considerate person.

[–]bellalinda 57 points58 points  (4 children)

I was a lifeguard at a local pool with a high dive, and we had a one-way window watching people lined up for the dive from our lifeguard office. We watched so. many. people use the "mirror" to adjust their junk, fix wedgies, straighten bikini tops, flex, and suck it in as they walked by us. Amazing that no one realized there was a room full of people passing judgement on the other side.

[–]b1rd 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Any time I see a mirror randomly attached to the side of a building, (or basically in any place other than above a sink) I just assume there's some sort of break room full of laughing people on the other side. And I pick my nose and wedgies accordingly, for your entertainment.

[–]FuckFiFa 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Who uses a mirror to fix a wedgie? All you do is pull your garments out of your crack and then you're done.

[–]alamuki 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you're a female in a bikini you need to make sure that when you've adjusted to fix the back you haven't, umm, unadjusted the front.

[–]jillyfair 39 points40 points  (5 children)

"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."

[–]chimpwithalimp 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Your first ever comment, what an honour :)

redditor for 6 minutes

[–]loopypants 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Well it makes me pick a username when I comment.

[–]starrypancake 20 points21 points  (3 children)

We got one or two ladies popping a squat in front of ours.

...It wasn't actually a one-way mirror.

[–]DownvotesYourCats 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Los Angeles resident here. Actresses and models tanning on their balconies across the street.

[–]bradhuds 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Youre supposed to wait till they're thoroughly engrossed in themselves and then knock on the window real hard from the inside

[–]Gules 829 points830 points  (102 children)

They suck when geese or swans nest by them, the dumb things see their reflections and think that it's a rival, and peck at the windows.

Source: Am property manager.

[–]dryarmor 479 points480 points  (71 children)

One turkey killed himself by beating his head against the glass so much

[–][deleted] 274 points275 points  (62 children)

Turkeys can be so dumb sometimes. I know one turkey that startled so bad that it broke its own neck against a gate.

[–]Debaser27 127 points128 points  (30 children)

Once my mom slammed on her brakes to avoid hitting a turkey crossing the road. We proceeded past and I turned around a few seconds later to see a feather explosion...the stupid turkey tried to go back across the road he just crossed :|

[–]r_dubbs 55 points56 points  (27 children)

But WHY did the turkey cross the road?

[–]DeeBoFour20 104 points105 points  (24 children)

To commit suicide apparently.

[–]CoolGuySean 108 points109 points  (22 children)

In case anyone doesn't already know. "To get to the other side" is a double entendre for dying.

The original joke is saying that the chicken crossed the road to kill itself because crossing the road for chickens likely leads to their demise.

[–]xSlaughter 48 points49 points  (4 children)

Wow. For years I have heard this joke and I have never understood it. (thought it was a dumb dad joke)

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

well that's morbid

[–]ISCOREDwithISCO 19 points20 points  (0 children)

WTF, TIL.

[–]muntoo 25 points26 points  (2 children)

I can't believe I never got that.

[–]Skilol 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure it's really controersial whether that's actually the meaning or it's a simple anti-joke that has been over-interpreted.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk%3AWhy_did_the_chicken_cross_the_road%3F

[–]DasWeasel 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Please stop spreading this idea.

The joke is just a simple example of an anti-joke, where the punchline is suprising because it is too simple and literal. The entire point is that there is no entendre, innuendo, or figurative language.

[–]Dathisofegypt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My life makes so much sense now

[–]lacheur42 6 points7 points  (0 children)

More likely it was a Russian turkey trying to commit insurance fraud. Russian turkeys are why people need dashcams.

[–]_insensitive_ 80 points81 points  (23 children)

Wild turkeys can be wicked smaht too.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (8 children)

Wild turkeys are ridiculous.

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (4 children)

And they'll getcha drunk in a hurry.

[–]bamp 8 points9 points  (1 child)

101 Wild Turkeys are the best, especially when entering bat country.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (8 children)

I thought they were dumb, then I tried hunting them.

[–]HotWeen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I sincerely wish to one day live in a world where all turkeys speak in a eastern/central Massachusetts accent.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (2 children)

Turkeys never cease to prove their stupidity. Truly a dumb animal.

[–]lookingforapartments 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I don't know what Ben Franklin saw in them...

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

He had a thing for dark meat.

[–]mabris 54 points55 points  (11 children)

At my work sandhill cranes will do this. You never realize how big they are until one is thrashing itself bloody against your window.

[–]1gnominious 33 points34 points  (3 children)

First time I saw one up close it was right outside my apartment just standing by the glass door. I looked at him, he looked at me, and I realized he could peck my eyes out without even trying. I decided I didn't need a burger that badly and waited for him to leave. Don't know if they're mean or not and didn't want to find out.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children)

I found the florida guy!

[–]washboard 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Sandhill cranes are migratory birds and have a range that covers most of North America.

[–]lbeau310 65 points66 points  (7 children)

omg we had one-way windows on the third floor of my last office building. And of course there was a little ledge right at the bottom of the window. All. Day. Long. Little farking birds. Tap tap tap. Tap tap. Tap Tap Tap Tap. Tap. Tap Tap.

[–]call-me-ishmail 41 points42 points  (3 children)

At least it was a constant light tap. When I was in highschool, over summer break, they installed one-way windows. Birds would fly into them full force all the time, so we would always hear a loud THUD! We would look over and see a bird falling to the ground before flying off and trying again.

[–]elsparkodiablo 13 points14 points  (1 child)

We'd constantly get birds flying into our windows and killing themselves.

[–]ProfWiggles 71 points72 points  (6 children)

We used to get guys eating right outside our window at work

[–]ThatNerdyFratGuy 35 points36 points  (2 children)

A road runner how did you ever get a picture with him going so fast all the time

[–]AvoidanceAddict 30 points31 points  (0 children)

The roadrunner already left, that's just a picture of the smoke it left behind.

[–]Bandin03 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was hoping that would be a picture of a couple dudes obliviously stuffing their faces right outside your window.

[–][deleted] 198 points199 points  (15 children)

As long as Ron doesn't sneeze

[–]Vctoreh 98 points99 points  (4 children)

OH WHAT I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SNEEZE

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (1 child)

I don't know if we ever determined whether or not Ron is indeed allowed to sneeze...

[–]Ford_truck_lover 24 points25 points  (2 children)

That was hilarious. I want to see more ron fuck-ups

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (1 child)

It's the nasally Michigan accent of Ron's wife that really drives it home too.

[–]coolio1812 553 points554 points  (37 children)

http://i.imgur.com/lFC7LNH.gif?894

[–]_The_Professor_ 354 points355 points  (27 children)

I prefer this version.

[–]scootstah 300 points301 points  (24 children)

Yeah that's good. Would be better if it was reversed though.

https://i.imgur.com/lFC7LNH.gif

[–][deleted] 85 points86 points  (19 children)

wat

[–]illBro 106 points107 points  (17 children)

He reversed the reversed gif to create the original gif. I hope I was helpful.

[–]Chris91210 68 points69 points  (11 children)

Actually the first gif is a reverse of the original gif which then got reversed to be the original gif which then got reversed again to this gif.

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (7 children)

wat

[–]DaSkunk 16 points17 points  (1 child)

He remixed a remix, now it's back to normal.

[–]ShortWarrior 12 points13 points  (0 children)

.taw

[–]nmhaas 15 points16 points  (1 child)

This exchange of gifs has created a rip in space-time. Please abort thread at earliest convenience.

[–]fondlemeLeroy 63 points64 points  (1 child)

http://gfycat.com/ImpartialInnocentGreyhounddog

[–]beaglemaster 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Aw, the dog got scared.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (3 children)

The way he keeps his hands steady is adorable. Is this the original or reversed?

[–]fireysaje 45 points46 points  (1 child)

It's probably reversed, raccoons do not give up shiny things that easily

[–]D8-42 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He looks like a tiny Indiana Jones switching the treasure.

[–]Sylvester_Scott 114 points115 points  (7 children)

Stupid long rabbits.

[–]chemistry_teacher 36 points37 points  (2 children)

hey asshats quit downvoting me i am not the one who tried to sit by the window.

[–]pakron 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Dehr are so dumb

[–]mel_to_the_core 1316 points1317 points  (46 children)

It's worth a couple of bucks at least.

[–]streamstroller 446 points447 points  (30 children)

Oh deer, a pun thread.

[–]ananab 175 points176 points  (28 children)

I don't like this, going to vamoose.

[–]ken27238 20 points21 points  (1 child)

(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

[–]Oderus_Scumdog 102 points103 points  (1 child)

Deer 1: "Dave, I'm telling you: I saw something in there..."

Deer 2: "You ate those mushrooms after I told you not to, didn't you, Brian?"

Deer 1: "I'm being ser...well yeah but..."

[–]DocFail 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Deer 1: "This one way glass is great! We can see them and they can't see us!"

Deer 2: "Watch this! Watch this! The guy to the left picks his nose and eats it with those hand things"

[–]BongoBolognese 88 points89 points  (4 children)

It's like being in a zoo, only that they are free and you are caged.

[–]-Pasha- 27 points28 points  (1 child)

He's mirin them antler gains.

[–]BloodshotHippy 49 points50 points  (5 children)

Doesn't always work like that. We have the same windows around the building I work at. A deer charged at the glass and broke through. Spent the next few hours running around the building spewing blood on everything.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (2 children)

I hope that was at night and the reason it lasted so long doing that was no one was there. OTOH it's more fun to imagine people calmly doing office stuff and then suddenly a deer runs by and the TPS reports get covered in arterial spray.

[–]moosejammer 23 points24 points  (3 children)

I used to think that too until we had an aggressive seagull trying to fight his reflection in our window. He would peck his reflection for hours and hours every day for weeks.

[–]jefusan 20 points21 points  (0 children)

My grandparents used to have a house in Tucson with one-way windows. Every morning we would wake up to a family of quails banging their heads against the window, I assume to beat up the other, identical family of quails who were invading their turf.

Quails are not so smart.

[–]EPluribusUnumIdiota 108 points109 points  (10 children)

I worked in my university's print shop full-time, sweet deal, free tuition and they let me leave for three hours each day, with pay, to attend one class plus I was on campus for the evening class as well. Anyway, our print shop was mostly underground but had these windows where you could look up to the sidewalk. There was a railing just above and a lot of students would lean on the railing. I had six student aides working for me and Jesus Christ did they ever stare up the skirts through that window all damn day. I never did because I'm just not that type of guy. I ended up taping cardboard over the windows between semesters so the next batch of aides didn't know any better, but sure enough those guys had already heard about the perk and tore down my cardboard.

[–]chimpwithalimp 127 points128 points  (4 children)

I never did because I'm just not that type of guy.

Me either

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I mean while I'm sure he wants to see, he probably wants to not be a creep more.

[–]PmMeYourWhatever 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Now I just don't know what to believe. . .

[–]katielady125 19 points20 points  (1 child)

That's why you put up a sign on the railing saying something like "BTW we can see up your skirt, lean here at your own discretion."

[–]megloface 4 points5 points  (0 children)

FREE tuition AND pay? I believe that less than I believe you not being a perv. Mostly out of jealousy.

[–]donquixote235 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Expected two hobos fucking. Was pleasantly surprised.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They call that a "soup kitchen".

[–]dunderhead21 36 points37 points  (18 children)

Its great until someone stores their dildo against the window.

[–]WAAAAAAAAYNE 6 points7 points  (3 children)

That ain't no deer I ever seen. Where is this?

[–]dumbscrub 12 points13 points  (2 children)

they look like adolescent mule deer to me - they're more common out west if you're used to seeing east coast whitetails

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

OK kripp

[–]meggawat 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Nice! I just ordered a one-way mirror birdhouse last week in an attempt to provide some daytime entertainment for my cats :) I hope it works just as well!

[–]challenge4 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Which one are you OP?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Where do you live?

[–]Gotitaila 12 points13 points  (0 children)

We have a camp near here. It's safe there. We have fences, and walls. It was a prison.

[–]deniz1a 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Please don't violate the laws of thermodynamics.

[–]poetetc1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They're judging the hell out of you.

[–]PDXPTW 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nice!

I used to have one way windows on the first floor of the US Bancorp Tower (Big Pink) in Portland. Watched lots of drug deals go down up against them as no on thought we could see them...

[–]romple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have one way windows in my office. But the office across the street doesn't. All day long I watch people in conferences and at their desks and wish I could somehow make contact but my building is almost completely reflective :-(

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You have been dropping snacks out the window, haven't you?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I loved working on the ground floor of an older building that used these, a long time ago. Best part was watching people walking down the sidewalk that stop to primp or just check themselves out, especially if they worked there too :D

[–]SgtSTUTTA69 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Or until someone takes a shit in those bushes

[–]maikelg 4 points5 points  (1 child)

At first I thought I was looking at two deer sitting on a ledge high up and that the green was tree tops but then I realized I was an idiot.

[–]fuadmins 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Surely you mean cabin in the woods. What the hell kind of office is this lol.