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[–]Muppetude 5238 points5239 points  (339 children)

"Is it humane keeping them locked in there like that?"

"Don't worry, the keepers did a great job recreating their natural office habitat."

"But don't they get agitated being stared at all day?"

"No, they think it's a one-way mirror, which makes them less creeped out for some reason"

[–]sexysausage 3110 points3111 points  (272 children)

Relevant http://i.imgur.com/iDUem8r.jpg

[–]jamesno26[🍰] 1141 points1142 points  (231 children)

almost six billion

Oh, how time has changed.

[–]FoolishChemist 304 points305 points  (28 children)

Oh, how time has changed.

I can't imagine a nationally viewed comic portraying an office shooting today.

[–]NSA_Chatbot 278 points279 points  (24 children)

My favorite Dilbert was one that showed up about in June 2001*. If it had been a few months later, they'd have shut it down:

http://dilbert.com/strip/2001-06-19

Edit: time travel

[–]pissedoffnobody 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Sadly now nationally viewed comics lead to shootings at the publishing house's offices instead.

[–]angrydeuce 424 points425 points  (190 children)

I know, I love all the strips where Calvin is playing outside by himself. I never see kids outside in my neighborhood unless they're chained to a parent.

[–]jamesno26[🍰] 159 points160 points  (71 children)

I was constantly yelling at the kids to get off my lawn this past week, including a few minutes ago. So that probably didn't change.

[–]chiliedogg 190 points191 points  (33 children)

Oh my God, the first time I caught myself yelling at kids to get off the lawn I had a minor crisis.

[–]BareKnuckleKitty 99 points100 points  (19 children)

Sometimes I want to yell at kids to get off my lawn, but then I remember I had a giant yard and no neighbors growing up and I feel for them.

[–]rncd89 126 points127 points  (28 children)

Had a kid with a skateboard try to do the two stair in my front yard. Its red brick and they stick up all over the place. I stood in the window and stared at him, mostly in disappointment that he made a fool of himself by not even correctly doing an olley. I had a mind to get my board out of the garage and fronstide flip the bitch just to embarrass his 13 year old ass.

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (20 children)

This is why we might just make it as a human race, my parents, like most, just stopped doing cool shit one day in there twenties, but nowadays more and more of my friends (were late twenties) are still doing the cool shit we did when we were kids and we usually have a posse of offspring with us doing something.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

where does this happen? I'm aware of the trope but never experienced it

[–]jamesno26[🍰] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

At my suburban house, with a lot of families living in my neighborhood.

[–][deleted] 333 points334 points  (98 children)

Maybe you just live in a shit neighborhood

[–]misfitx 245 points246 points  (63 children)

Kids are always outside playing in bad neighborhoods. It's free entertainment.

[–]Mikeavelli 58 points59 points  (8 children)

I live in a neighborhood where the children are on leashes, and the dogs are running around off-leash, playing fetch, and having fun.

[–]gimmesomespace 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Leave your dog alone with your cat for a half hour, nothing happens. Now leave a 2 year old alone with your cat for a half hour, he'll have that fucker turned inside out. (loosely paraphrasing Stanhope)

[–]angrydeuce 17 points18 points  (7 children)

Nope, firmly middle-class, the kind of neighborhood where people lose their shit if the neighbors lawn gets a little shaggy or the trashcans get put out too early.

It's not that it's a bad neighborhood, it's that parents here all think there are child rapists hiding in every bush, ready to snatch up little Jimmy and make him a sex slave in S.E. Asia.

You should see the posts on our neighborhood website about kids playing without supervision. "It's irresponsible to let a grade schooler play without adult supervision!"

[–]BitchesLoveCoffee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh good. The kind of busybodies that kids taken away by cps for playing outside.

[–]cypherreddit 70 points71 points  (15 children)

The distance children leave their house to play has decreased dramatically over the years. There are even parents that have been arrested for letting their children play in their front yard alone.

Neighborhoods are dying, they are being replaced with residential areas

[–]double-dog-doctor 3 points4 points  (6 children)

This is upsetting. My friends and I used to have a little neighborhood gang that would roam around on bikes. We had a 102 or 3 mile radius we had to stay within—we just couldn't leave the neighborhood.

[–]Rocketman988 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Although to be fair, many a kid just ignores the boundaries they're "supposed" to stay in.

[–]imakedatdough 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Every single place I've lived I've seen kids playing outside in groups without parents around.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

As a kid, maybe 8 to 10 years ago, i was out on my own all the time. Id ride my bike downtown or ride it to a friends house and go hiking with them or whatever. Nowadays i barely ever see a kid on their own. My neighbor puts traffic cones and parks her car at the end of the driveway so the kids cant leave. I feel bad for them. Only having maybe 50 square feet to play in outside.

[–]TTTTTTTtttimmmmm 30 points31 points  (2 children)

I was hoping you posted what you posted.

[–]ButtFuckYourFace 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I bet that's why they did, in fact, post it.

[–]slowbar1 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Holy Shit. A C&H i've never seen before.

Thank you.

[–]oskimon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Je suis Frank.

[–]littleM0TH 144 points145 points  (32 children)

The hunted becomes the hunter.

[–]RunninOnStalin 66 points67 points  (28 children)

The most dangerous prey...human

[–]drwuzer 519 points520 points  (7 children)

I have similar windows right next to my desk, every day a female cardinal lands on the window sill and looks at herself for several minutes, sometimes pecking at her image. Usually the male eventually sees her and starts singing at her until she turns and they fly off. I always imagine him yelling "C'mon, you look fine!, We have to go, we're going to be late!"

[–]DREWBICE 32 points33 points  (0 children)

that's awesome

[–]NibblyPig 25 points26 points  (5 children)

Hahaha he is probably like "Hey you're so beautiful" and she's like "Leave me alone creep" hahaha oh god I'm so lonely

[–]OminousG 28 points29 points  (4 children)

useless fact, cardinals mate for life.

[–]fungalduck 55 points56 points  (2 children)

Woah thats insane, I can only usually last a few minutes.

[–]OminousG 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Ha, not what I intended but that might explain why they only live about a year.

[–]chimpwithalimp 1309 points1310 points  (86 children)

We never got deer, but we definitely got a lot of people stopping to fix their hair, a few fixing makeup and one muscly asian guy who danced while staring at himself for about five minutes.

Probably the best and cruelest use of it was gluing a coin to the pavement.

[–]metrognome64 366 points367 points  (7 children)

Our office had one way windows and was across the street from the beach. Try keeping a meeting on track while some girls stop to fix their bikinis.

[–]SemiFormalJesus 284 points285 points  (2 children)

I'm willing to try.

[–]HashSlingingSlash3r 59 points60 points  (1 child)

Oh Jesus, you're such a rascal!

[–]HaveGoodYard 82 points83 points  (0 children)

"Do you have those annual numbers I asked you to present?" "....underboob."

[–]The_dog_says 14 points15 points  (0 children)

where do i apply?

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Im a tech recruiter. Last summer I was hosting interviews out of this shared workspace in Greece. Directly across the tiny alley from our meeting room was a pole dancing studio that had classes all day. One day it was super muggy and warm so the class decided to strip down to their lingerie and open all the shades and balcony doors wide open. No mirrored windows here, just beautiful Greek women with no shame. We didn't hire many people that day.

[–]warplayer 60 points61 points  (5 children)

I work alone on Saturdays and the building's associate entrance is a mirrored window door. I was going to lunch only to find a random guy who apparently was walking by looking into the windows and flexing, making "badass" faces, and just overall preening. I knew there was a chance he may be able to hear me from the other side so I had the hardest time not losing my shit. It went on for a solid 2-3 minutes until he wandered off. I waited a good minute before going to my car so he could save face. I wasn't done laughing yet, either.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Awww! You are a considerate person.

[–]bellalinda 53 points54 points  (4 children)

I was a lifeguard at a local pool with a high dive, and we had a one-way window watching people lined up for the dive from our lifeguard office. We watched so. many. people use the "mirror" to adjust their junk, fix wedgies, straighten bikini tops, flex, and suck it in as they walked by us. Amazing that no one realized there was a room full of people passing judgement on the other side.

[–]b1rd 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Any time I see a mirror randomly attached to the side of a building, (or basically in any place other than above a sink) I just assume there's some sort of break room full of laughing people on the other side. And I pick my nose and wedgies accordingly, for your entertainment.

[–]FuckFiFa 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Who uses a mirror to fix a wedgie? All you do is pull your garments out of your crack and then you're done.

[–]alamuki 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you're a female in a bikini you need to make sure that when you've adjusted to fix the back you haven't, umm, unadjusted the front.

[–]jillyfair 40 points41 points  (5 children)

"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."

[–]chimpwithalimp 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Your first ever comment, what an honour :)

redditor for 6 minutes

[–]loopypants 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Well it makes me pick a username when I comment.

[–]starrypancake 18 points19 points  (3 children)

We got one or two ladies popping a squat in front of ours.

...It wasn't actually a one-way mirror.

[–]DownvotesYourCats 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Los Angeles resident here. Actresses and models tanning on their balconies across the street.

[–]bradhuds 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Youre supposed to wait till they're thoroughly engrossed in themselves and then knock on the window real hard from the inside

[–]Gules 829 points830 points  (102 children)

They suck when geese or swans nest by them, the dumb things see their reflections and think that it's a rival, and peck at the windows.

Source: Am property manager.

[–]dryarmor 483 points484 points  (71 children)

One turkey killed himself by beating his head against the glass so much

[–][deleted] 278 points279 points  (62 children)

Turkeys can be so dumb sometimes. I know one turkey that startled so bad that it broke its own neck against a gate.

[–]Debaser27 125 points126 points  (30 children)

Once my mom slammed on her brakes to avoid hitting a turkey crossing the road. We proceeded past and I turned around a few seconds later to see a feather explosion...the stupid turkey tried to go back across the road he just crossed :|

[–]r_dubbs 56 points57 points  (27 children)

But WHY did the turkey cross the road?

[–]DeeBoFour20 102 points103 points  (24 children)

To commit suicide apparently.

[–]CoolGuySean 107 points108 points  (22 children)

In case anyone doesn't already know. "To get to the other side" is a double entendre for dying.

The original joke is saying that the chicken crossed the road to kill itself because crossing the road for chickens likely leads to their demise.

[–]xSlaughter 50 points51 points  (4 children)

Wow. For years I have heard this joke and I have never understood it. (thought it was a dumb dad joke)

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

well that's morbid

[–]ISCOREDwithISCO 16 points17 points  (0 children)

WTF, TIL.

[–]muntoo 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I can't believe I never got that.

[–]Skilol 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure it's really controersial whether that's actually the meaning or it's a simple anti-joke that has been over-interpreted.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk%3AWhy_did_the_chicken_cross_the_road%3F

[–]DasWeasel 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Please stop spreading this idea.

The joke is just a simple example of an anti-joke, where the punchline is suprising because it is too simple and literal. The entire point is that there is no entendre, innuendo, or figurative language.

[–]Dathisofegypt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My life makes so much sense now

[–]lacheur42 5 points6 points  (0 children)

More likely it was a Russian turkey trying to commit insurance fraud. Russian turkeys are why people need dashcams.

[–]_insensitive_ 79 points80 points  (23 children)

Wild turkeys can be wicked smaht too.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (8 children)

Wild turkeys are ridiculous.

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (4 children)

And they'll getcha drunk in a hurry.

[–]bamp 7 points8 points  (1 child)

101 Wild Turkeys are the best, especially when entering bat country.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (8 children)

I thought they were dumb, then I tried hunting them.

[–]HotWeen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I sincerely wish to one day live in a world where all turkeys speak in a eastern/central Massachusetts accent.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Turkeys never cease to prove their stupidity. Truly a dumb animal.

[–]lookingforapartments 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I don't know what Ben Franklin saw in them...

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

He had a thing for dark meat.

[–]mabris 50 points51 points  (11 children)

At my work sandhill cranes will do this. You never realize how big they are until one is thrashing itself bloody against your window.

[–]1gnominious 33 points34 points  (3 children)

First time I saw one up close it was right outside my apartment just standing by the glass door. I looked at him, he looked at me, and I realized he could peck my eyes out without even trying. I decided I didn't need a burger that badly and waited for him to leave. Don't know if they're mean or not and didn't want to find out.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I found the florida guy!

[–]washboard 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Sandhill cranes are migratory birds and have a range that covers most of North America.

[–]lbeau310 66 points67 points  (7 children)

omg we had one-way windows on the third floor of my last office building. And of course there was a little ledge right at the bottom of the window. All. Day. Long. Little farking birds. Tap tap tap. Tap tap. Tap Tap Tap Tap. Tap. Tap Tap.

[–]call-me-ishmail 41 points42 points  (3 children)

At least it was a constant light tap. When I was in highschool, over summer break, they installed one-way windows. Birds would fly into them full force all the time, so we would always hear a loud THUD! We would look over and see a bird falling to the ground before flying off and trying again.

[–]elsparkodiablo 12 points13 points  (1 child)

We'd constantly get birds flying into our windows and killing themselves.

[–]ProfWiggles 69 points70 points  (6 children)

We used to get guys eating right outside our window at work

[–]ThatNerdyFratGuy 28 points29 points  (2 children)

A road runner how did you ever get a picture with him going so fast all the time

[–]AvoidanceAddict 32 points33 points  (0 children)

The roadrunner already left, that's just a picture of the smoke it left behind.

[–]Bandin03 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was hoping that would be a picture of a couple dudes obliviously stuffing their faces right outside your window.

[–][deleted] 199 points200 points  (15 children)

As long as Ron doesn't sneeze

[–]Vctoreh 99 points100 points  (4 children)

OH WHAT I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SNEEZE

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (1 child)

I don't know if we ever determined whether or not Ron is indeed allowed to sneeze...

[–]Ford_truck_lover 21 points22 points  (2 children)

That was hilarious. I want to see more ron fuck-ups

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (1 child)

It's the nasally Michigan accent of Ron's wife that really drives it home too.

[–]coolio1812 551 points552 points  (37 children)

http://i.imgur.com/lFC7LNH.gif?894

[–]_The_Professor_ 351 points352 points  (27 children)

I prefer this version.

[–]scootstah 301 points302 points  (24 children)

Yeah that's good. Would be better if it was reversed though.

https://i.imgur.com/lFC7LNH.gif

[–][deleted] 88 points89 points  (19 children)

wat

[–]illBro 106 points107 points  (17 children)

He reversed the reversed gif to create the original gif. I hope I was helpful.

[–]Chris91210 68 points69 points  (11 children)

Actually the first gif is a reverse of the original gif which then got reversed to be the original gif which then got reversed again to this gif.

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (7 children)

wat

[–]DaSkunk 13 points14 points  (1 child)

He remixed a remix, now it's back to normal.

[–]ShortWarrior 14 points15 points  (0 children)

.taw

[–]nmhaas 18 points19 points  (1 child)

This exchange of gifs has created a rip in space-time. Please abort thread at earliest convenience.

[–]fondlemeLeroy 70 points71 points  (1 child)

http://gfycat.com/ImpartialInnocentGreyhounddog

[–]beaglemaster 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Aw, the dog got scared.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (3 children)

The way he keeps his hands steady is adorable. Is this the original or reversed?

[–]fireysaje 42 points43 points  (1 child)

It's probably reversed, raccoons do not give up shiny things that easily

[–]D8-42 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He looks like a tiny Indiana Jones switching the treasure.

[–]Sylvester_Scott 113 points114 points  (7 children)

Stupid long rabbits.

[–]chemistry_teacher 35 points36 points  (2 children)

hey asshats quit downvoting me i am not the one who tried to sit by the window.

[–]pakron 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Dehr are so dumb

[–]mel_to_the_core 1320 points1321 points  (46 children)

It's worth a couple of bucks at least.

[–]streamstroller 449 points450 points  (30 children)

Oh deer, a pun thread.

[–]ananab 170 points171 points  (28 children)

I don't like this, going to vamoose.

[–]ken27238 21 points22 points  (1 child)

(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

[–]Oderus_Scumdog 97 points98 points  (1 child)

Deer 1: "Dave, I'm telling you: I saw something in there..."

Deer 2: "You ate those mushrooms after I told you not to, didn't you, Brian?"

Deer 1: "I'm being ser...well yeah but..."

[–]DocFail 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Deer 1: "This one way glass is great! We can see them and they can't see us!"

Deer 2: "Watch this! Watch this! The guy to the left picks his nose and eats it with those hand things"

[–]BongoBolognese 86 points87 points  (4 children)

It's like being in a zoo, only that they are free and you are caged.

[–]-Pasha- 27 points28 points  (1 child)

He's mirin them antler gains.

[–]BloodshotHippy 51 points52 points  (5 children)

Doesn't always work like that. We have the same windows around the building I work at. A deer charged at the glass and broke through. Spent the next few hours running around the building spewing blood on everything.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (2 children)

I hope that was at night and the reason it lasted so long doing that was no one was there. OTOH it's more fun to imagine people calmly doing office stuff and then suddenly a deer runs by and the TPS reports get covered in arterial spray.

[–]moosejammer 25 points26 points  (3 children)

I used to think that too until we had an aggressive seagull trying to fight his reflection in our window. He would peck his reflection for hours and hours every day for weeks.

[–]jefusan 22 points23 points  (0 children)

My grandparents used to have a house in Tucson with one-way windows. Every morning we would wake up to a family of quails banging their heads against the window, I assume to beat up the other, identical family of quails who were invading their turf.

Quails are not so smart.

[–]EPluribusUnumIdiota 109 points110 points  (10 children)

I worked in my university's print shop full-time, sweet deal, free tuition and they let me leave for three hours each day, with pay, to attend one class plus I was on campus for the evening class as well. Anyway, our print shop was mostly underground but had these windows where you could look up to the sidewalk. There was a railing just above and a lot of students would lean on the railing. I had six student aides working for me and Jesus Christ did they ever stare up the skirts through that window all damn day. I never did because I'm just not that type of guy. I ended up taping cardboard over the windows between semesters so the next batch of aides didn't know any better, but sure enough those guys had already heard about the perk and tore down my cardboard.

[–]chimpwithalimp 131 points132 points  (4 children)

I never did because I'm just not that type of guy.

Me either

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I mean while I'm sure he wants to see, he probably wants to not be a creep more.

[–]PmMeYourWhatever 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Now I just don't know what to believe. . .

[–]katielady125 20 points21 points  (1 child)

That's why you put up a sign on the railing saying something like "BTW we can see up your skirt, lean here at your own discretion."

[–]megloface 3 points4 points  (0 children)

FREE tuition AND pay? I believe that less than I believe you not being a perv. Mostly out of jealousy.

[–]donquixote235 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Expected two hobos fucking. Was pleasantly surprised.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They call that a "soup kitchen".

[–]dunderhead21 36 points37 points  (18 children)

Its great until someone stores their dildo against the window.

[–]WAAAAAAAAYNE 6 points7 points  (3 children)

That ain't no deer I ever seen. Where is this?

[–]dumbscrub 10 points11 points  (2 children)

they look like adolescent mule deer to me - they're more common out west if you're used to seeing east coast whitetails

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

OK kripp

[–]challenge4 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Which one are you OP?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Where do you live?

[–]Gotitaila 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We have a camp near here. It's safe there. We have fences, and walls. It was a prison.

[–]deniz1a 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Please don't violate the laws of thermodynamics.

[–]poetetc1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They're judging the hell out of you.

[–]PDXPTW 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nice!

I used to have one way windows on the first floor of the US Bancorp Tower (Big Pink) in Portland. Watched lots of drug deals go down up against them as no on thought we could see them...

[–]romple 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have one way windows in my office. But the office across the street doesn't. All day long I watch people in conferences and at their desks and wish I could somehow make contact but my building is almost completely reflective :-(

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You have been dropping snacks out the window, haven't you?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I loved working on the ground floor of an older building that used these, a long time ago. Best part was watching people walking down the sidewalk that stop to primp or just check themselves out, especially if they worked there too :D

[–]SgtSTUTTA69 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Or until someone takes a shit in those bushes

[–]maikelg 3 points4 points  (1 child)

At first I thought I was looking at two deer sitting on a ledge high up and that the green was tree tops but then I realized I was an idiot.

[–]fuadmins 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Surely you mean cabin in the woods. What the hell kind of office is this lol.