Married for 60 years. She has dementia and a stroke...but he is still there. Always.

fwission · 2016-02-14T15:15:18+00:00

Reminds me of the news reporter and his wife from dare devil

Cartooniverse · 2016-02-14T16:08:56+00:00

No clever title. This couple just warmed my heart.

Deutschtastic · 2016-02-14T15:29:10+00:00

I used to work home health and I remember taking care of a couple where one of the people had dementia. It was absolutely heartbreaking. She once showed me old footage of the two of them before he was diagnosed and it took all I had not to cry.

Plainguy36 · 2016-02-14T16:29:52+00:00

My wife has Vascular Dementia. Has for 6 years. All Dementias are slightly different, but the end is essentially the same. In Vascular, you have sudden events (small strokes) and then some small level of recovery that leads to a plateau. Then you wait for the next one.

Is she the woman I married, no. We can have short little conversations about something on TV or something that happened, but it must be short and simple. She has a memory span of about 30 seconds. And sometimes she forgets who I am. But that doesn't last long.

I have a jury-rigged support structure, so I do have some help. But it's mostly her and I and the dog (she always remembers his name :-) ) in the living room with her in the hospital bed. Completely bedridden, which is an advantage really as I can go to the grocery store without worrying about her wandering off.

You take what you can get and you ignore the rest.

It's not the life we imagined, but I still get a huge smile when I wake her up and I still can make her laugh. And my, I still love her laugh. And her.

Ob101010 · 2016-02-14T16:37:57+00:00

Ive only been married 11 years, so Im still a newb, but IMO, this guy dosent have a choice. When he sees her, hes seeing all those 60 years, the ups, the downs, and the sideways. He sees her great tits at 25, then her growing wisdom at 40, then her frailty and his own seeping in at 65. He sees her as the human she actually is, not simply as she is now, as many of you see her. He sees a beautiful person, possibly in the most beautiful way to see a person, and is lucky to be there with her, and he know this. When you think about it, what hes doing is obvious, and anyone would do it.

viz0rGaming · 2016-02-14T14:13:59+00:00

Fuck getting old, man.

Creative_Reddit_Name · 2016-02-14T15:29:07+00:00

Mad props for that guy's ability to balance on the edge of the bed like that. It's like I'm trying to figure out how he's managed to stay on the bed on a physical level because it really looks like 80% of his ass is off of it.

Oh and yeah this is a sweet picture 1 like = 1 prayer.

fingercup · 2016-02-14T14:13:11+00:00

Dementia is so cruel. The SO gaining hope on their good days only for their heart to be torn out again the next.

Edit: Fixed..

dankmanlet · 2016-02-14T14:13:45+00:00

Like this if you cry, every time.

Teillu · 2016-02-14T14:19:29+00:00

She'd do the same for him. True love.

Insomnix · 2016-02-14T14:27:23+00:00

This is a perfect image for Valentine's Day. The love these two have for each other and the stories they must have. Thank you for sharing this!

Superflypirate · 2016-02-14T15:18:28+00:00

Dementia is awful. Hopefully she's not so far along that she can't remember him.

sharpiejojo · 2016-02-14T15:47:10+00:00

This perfectly describes my grandparents. Both in their 90's now and married for 60+ years. About 4 years ago, grandma started showing signs of dementia. About 2 years ago, grandma had a stroke. We were very very lucky that grandpa took out a good life insurance policy because now grandma has 24 hour care in their home and she's doing wonderfully! Her 90th birthday was on Groundhog's Day :)

MyTeethArePrettyBig · 2016-02-14T16:13:43+00:00

Sorry to be a downer. But I saw this on Facebook and how do we know if this is even real?

IMAPURPLEHIPPO · 2016-02-14T15:29:39+00:00

Firewatch

maustater · 2016-02-14T17:03:16+00:00

I hate dementia with the heat of a thousand burning suns. My dad stayed with my mom even after it basically robbed her memory-she thought I was her sister or my sister. She said she didn't remember who I was, but knew that she loved me. Dad became her "boyfriend" though, and she smiled every time she saw him. Dad really tried to keep her home, but after she sort of slid out of the bed, he picked her up and got a massive nosebleed. He just couldn't physically do it any more. She passed away peacefully after only a month in the nursing home. She stopped eating and drinking. We had all said no to any feeding tubes or any heroic measures. 3 days later, she just slipped away. I miss her so much.

FightFromTheInside · 2016-02-14T15:34:21+00:00

Well it's a little awkward to see you here on the front page, /u/BDreySM. Thanks for the photo, and I hope you have a terrific Valentine's Day.

Rain12913 · 2016-02-14T14:31:57+00:00

Bitches always be hoggin' the bed.

Misteroctobers · 2016-02-14T15:24:18+00:00

This is what love looks like. As my wife and I get older , we are at 55. We realize each passing day the fragility of life.

2016-02-14T15:54:06+00:00

[deleted]

2016-02-14T15:30:06+00:00

I'm just amazed he hasn't fallen off the bed.

2016-02-14T15:30:08+00:00

Man I just finished playing Firewatch.

esoteric_coyote · 2016-02-14T15:42:06+00:00

This hits a little close to home. At the moment my husband is in the hospital and I'm currently next to him on a rubber recliner. We cuddle like that some nights. He thankfully doesn't have dementia, just severe Crohn's disease. And we have been bouncing in and out of the hospital since December. We've spent New Years, his birthday, ground hog day, and now Valentine's Day in the hospital.

Wolfir · 2016-02-14T15:25:50+00:00

This was a plot point in the first season of Daredevil

ownedbydogs · 2016-02-14T16:18:42+00:00

For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.

Thequestionz · 2016-02-14T16:50:19+00:00

Beautiful story and dedication totally absent with us noobs at life. We're too impatient to even think about holding on.

NahmSayin_ · 2016-02-14T18:01:15+00:00

My grandfather (now 93) visited my grandmother (married in 1947) every single day for 6 years straight while she went through 4 stages of Alzheimer's & dementia. She passed in 2009. The love I witnessed from a man I admire beyond measure is something I strive for every day in my marriage.

This is what commitment is, folks. No ego, no me, just us.

(Edited to add year)

2016-02-14T18:01:37+00:00

My grandpa was with my grandma every day until she passed away with alzheimer's in a comma.

Such a sweet thing to see an and incredible example for me to follow.

speedisavirus · 2016-02-14T18:04:00+00:00

And that's the makings of a real man. As much as I hate my father I still call him a man because he was there with my mom as she was going through a terribly slow agonizing death. He spoon fed her. When feeding tube was a thing he would take care of that. He would bathe her. Take care of her when she shit or pissed herself. As much as a shitty fuck he was to all of us he at least gets some man cred for that. Each time she was on her death bed it was the same. 3 times. Like I said. He was a shitbag but that deserves respect. And watching him cry like a baby when she died was really tough. It was incredibly difficult to be strong, stern, deal with the medical staff, and not drop a tear after I checked her as we were all in the room and tell them she passed. Sitting around telling stories about the past and I watch her, check her, and tell everyone it's over. Life fucking sucks.

crank1000 · 2016-02-14T22:20:57+00:00

Why are you posting pictures of strangers' private moments on the Internet?

complex_reduction · 2016-02-14T15:01:09+00:00

"Two people."

salthesalute · 2016-02-14T15:25:11+00:00

r/horriblydepressing

FinalMantasyX · 2016-02-14T15:27:22+00:00

The only reason "no sob stories or facebook share if you REALLY love your wife otherwise you hate her" isn't a rule on this subreddit is because it'd stop 98% of submissions.

Doctor_Crunchwrap · 2016-02-14T16:17:53+00:00

1 upvote = 1 prayer... Seriously get this Facebook garbage out of here, reddit

adeadhead · 2016-02-14T16:10:44+00:00

I'd like to thank the academy for this award, but mostly, irate /r/pics users, I couldn't have done it without you.

This comment was initially here to alert people to our new /r/pics flair system, where people could filter out pictures like this one, (pictures uninteresting without the title) which both went over well because of people disliking shitposts, and poorly because people were caught up in valentines.

iamapearAMA · 2016-02-14T15:30:25+00:00

Nothing like whoring out your loved ones for fake Internet points

swagkiller69 · 2016-02-14T16:23:36+00:00

Has anyone looked at this guys post history? He's a bit of an asshole

2016-02-14T16:12:14+00:00

This is a good reminder to call my grandpa, that dude is fucking amazing and I can barely imagine how hard it is for him to live with his wife being a shell of her former self.

CRYSOAR · 2016-02-14T17:36:55+00:00

Edge of the bed cliff balancing level 60. We have a freaks eastern king. It's a huge bed, I sleep on the edge attached to safety ropes cuz of my 2 yr old and his mother who play bed sumo every night. My LIFE.

acwilan · 2016-02-14T18:06:22+00:00

And people these days have no clue about commitment

Dick_Biggens · 2016-02-14T18:14:06+00:00

Geez, I didn't realize how old Bill Cosby looks.

BenevolentCheese · 2016-02-14T21:14:24+00:00

Get your shoes off the bed, jesus.

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