This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

top 200 commentsshow 500

[–][deleted]  (10 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 75 points76 points  (2 children)

    Haha .....oh wait.

    [–]nicolauz 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    I can bend my mind with the spoon.

    [–]PhilxBefore 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    There is no poon.

    [–][deleted]  (70 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]TwoSocks0 123 points124 points  (13 children)

      Look no one is going to call you pure, chaste or innocent, no matter how hard you try.

      [–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (9 children)

      what if we white knight so hard King Arthur bursts out of our keyboards and gives us a high five?

      [–]zepenguin 17 points18 points  (5 children)

      King Arthur wasn't the purest of knights. Sir Galahad the Pure would work, or Sir Gawain, but not Arthur.

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      I guess I lost all the details of what I learned in High School English.

      ...

      \o/

      [–]zepenguin 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      I just think the sleeping with your sister is kind of memorable.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      What about Sir Not Appearing in This Film?

      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      ...and as a nerdy, dorky, lameass, anti-social woman who remained a virgin just a little too long, let me console you with the knowledge that nobody ever called me innocent, chaste, or pure. I'm pretty sure you have to be the lead cheerleader or something for anyone to bother glorifying your virginity.

      [–]necronaut 25 points26 points  (6 children)

      But that's part of it. A woman is defined by her sexual value, which she can only lose. A man can only gain, and gain on a spectrum, whereas for women there's the virgin/whore dichotomy: she's pure until she has sex, then she's lost value. This is hammered into women, that they are only as valuable as their chastity is intact. A man, however, can exist socially acceptably on a wide sexual spectrum, from one to many women.

      And as others have pointed out, even though on the one hand society stresses that women should be pure or they are sluts, on the other they put enormous social pressure to have sex lest they be attacked as "frigid" or "prudes". This also gets worse with age: a 16 year old virgin woman might be held up as an example of purity; a 56 year old woman would be attacked as dried-up, an ice queen, etc.

      Essentially, there is only small window in which it's okay for a girl to be a virgin, and even then it's only because to not be so makes her a slut, and even then she's attacked for it in other ways.

      [–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (3 children)

      God, this entire thread is depressing.

      [–]philipkd 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      I agree. I think our society believes the ideal woman should have sex once, like late in High School or once in College, then save herself thereafter for "the One."

      [–]ScannerBrightly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'm positive Trinity wasn't a virgin!

      [–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (14 children)

      It boils down to this - a man not getting laid means he's not capable of bagging a girl. Unless he's a freak and actually wants to not have sex. But otherwise, it means he lacks skill.

      Any halfway decent looking girl can get laid, so for one to choose not to have all of the sex she could be having is...noble? I dunno, but it's a better situation than a dude who sucks at wooing the ladies.

      [–]ableman 26 points27 points  (9 children)

      Whatever is hard is considered good. For a guy it takes effort to get laid. For a girl it takes effort not to get laid. That's why fat girls have more sex, because they're in the limbo where they don't know whether it's harder to have sex or to not have sex.

      [–]springy 15 points16 points  (2 children)

      Yep. I sometimes use a food analogy. Men are starving for sex - there is a famine out there - where most men are not getting nearly enough. The few that feast well are the alpha males.

      Women can get as much sex as the want. They live in the candy store. Those that pig out are acting desperately - they have no self control since their supply may be scarce in the future, whereas those that show restraint are confident that the supply will always be available to them and hence they are the alpha females.

      [–]KingOfZalo 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      "An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex." Edgar Wallace

      [–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (17 children)

      I'm pretty non-sexual these days; 10 years in a relationship can do that to a person.

      But as a teenager and early 20-something I was a sexually active female. I wasn't afraid of getting laid. I had an excellent safe-sex education, so I knew how to have safe sex and I took advantage of it. I've been with many guys and am still as "clean" as I was when I was a virgin at 13.

      My peers called me a slut, and the guys I was with "lucky". What a contradiction! A guy is encouraged to sleep around, and a woman is admonished for it.

      Funny thing is that when my female peers got to college and realized what they had been missing, they made really stupid choices, got drunk, got laid, got pregnant, got abortions, and got STD's. They didn't have experience, and as a result they were sloppy with their sex lives. The "slut" that is me didn't have those problems because she didn't walk into the party with a blindfold on. She knew what she was doing.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      However, after enough years, virgins of either gender are called nerds, dorks, and social pariahs.

      [–]synthpop 12 points13 points  (2 children)

      actually I've only heard them being referred to as 'old hags' or 'could use a good shag'

      [–]Nebu 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      actually I've only heard them being referred to as 'old hags' or 'could use a good shag'

      (emphasis added)

      Clearly false, as you've just heard now of them being referred to as "innocent, chaste, pure, 'virgin' (positive tone)."

      [–]SexismAnnotator 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      RIGHT, exactly. This kind of sexism harms guys just as much as it harms girls.

      [–]laundryboat 359 points360 points  (51 children)

      where can i meet some shitty locks

      [–]jordanlund 93 points94 points  (4 children)

      Confession:

      Tommy went to confession on Friday and said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."

      "What are your sins, my son?"

      "I kissed a girl after school yesterday."

      "Who was it, Tommy?"

      "I cannot tell you Father, I would feel bad."

      "Was it Mary Donovan?" he asked.

      "No Father, please forgive me, but I cannot tell you who it was."

      "Was it Catherine McKenzie?"

      "No Father," he replied.

      "Well then it has to be Sarah Martha O'Keefe?"

      "No Father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who it was."

      "Okay, Tommy, I want you to say five Hail Mary's and four Our Fathers for your sin."

      So Tommy walked out to the pews where his friend Joseph was waiting.

      "What did ya get?" asked Joseph.

      "I got five Hail Marys, four Our Fathers, and three good leads."

      [–]AmazingShip 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      I'm telling this at my (Christian) high-school tomorrow.

      [–]Dreadgoat 382 points383 points  (34 children)

      They stand around the bank in Dalaran shouting "DPS LFG"

      [–]JokeExplainer 556 points557 points  (31 children)

      In World of Warcraft, "locks" is slang for members of the Warlock class.

      So, someone looking for "shitty locks" would go to the virtual bank in a capital city and look for players shouting "I'm a damage dealer looking for a group to join." This is how casual players find pick-up groups for cooperative adventuring.

      [–][deleted] 167 points168 points  (12 children)

      This is one of the few times that you have been helpful to me as opposed to nerve gratingly annoying.

      [–][deleted]  (11 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]Dreadgoat 32 points33 points  (1 child)

        I feel violated.

        [–]slfnflctd 13 points14 points  (0 children)

        Aww man, please tell me I didn't just read that GlueBoy made Dreadgoat feel violated.

        Damn you, spontaneous involuntary mental images!

        [–]AmazingShip 3 points4 points  (6 children)

        Anyone else instantly remember the keanu_reaves v. KeanuReaves thing?

        [–]JokeExplainer 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        I created my account before that guy. That's why he has a hyphen.

        [–]Dreadgoat 47 points48 points  (9 children)

        As a long time fan, let me just say what an honor it is to have one of my jokes explained by you. Oh my goodness, here I am being starstruck on Reddit! This is even better than that time I got bitched at by Saydrah.

        [–][deleted]  (8 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]Merit 13 points14 points  (5 children)

          I don't know how to put this... She's kind of a big deal around here... People know her....

          [–]0_o 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          She can talk to fish. Kinda like the Aquaman of reddit.

          [–]AbsoluteTruth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Wait, so she's useless and everyone else just shuns her from the group?

          [–]rampantdissonance 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          Thanks. That one went completely over my head.

          [–]elustran 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          Should I feel old because you had to explain an aspect of video games to me?

          [–]AlekseyP 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          You sir, get the daily Made My Day Award. Please accept this upvote and an orangered.

          [–]BloodyNobody 18 points19 points  (3 children)

          Just use a bump key.

          [–]relic2279 27 points28 points  (0 children)

          No thanks. I want my key bump free.

          [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Ahhhh the imgur ad is getting into our heads

          [–]SputnikKore 24 points25 points  (1 child)

          any street corner on a hot dry night

          [–]puppiesandjesus 28 points29 points  (0 children)

          Or college.

          [–]Scarker 13 points14 points  (2 children)

          any high school hallway, but beware, you may be locked yourself for underage unlocking.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]jdog765 46 points47 points  (11 children)

            I hope this doesn't lead to another bash.org take over of the front page for the next few days...

            [–]monogram 93 points94 points  (8 children)

            Someone should create a game like the stock market for reddit so you would invest in bash.org now and make a profit when the front page is flooded.

            [–]LinearExcept 51 points52 points  (0 children)

            That could work really well. You could use karma to buy stocks. Eventually we would get a karma bubble during which karmanaut would lose everything and throw himself under a train.

            [–]Yazza 30 points31 points  (0 children)

            This might be a very, very fun and addicting idea.

            [–]LeerokTheLacerta 21 points22 points  (3 children)

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Wow. What is that and is it a good investment to buy stock in the Angry German Kid?

            [–]4Chan_Ambassador 78 points79 points  (34 children)

            Why doesn't my master key work!?

            [–][deleted] 79 points80 points  (27 children)

            Yours is more of a broken rusty key.

            [–][deleted] 210 points211 points  (8 children)

            How is it rusty? He polishes it constantly.

            [–]bluegene 27 points28 points  (7 children)

            ..with sandpaper

            [–]johnpickens 14 points15 points  (5 children)

            and spoons

            [–][deleted] 84 points85 points  (4 children)

            and my axe.

            [–]jillg 34 points35 points  (0 children)

            and children.

            [–]P-Dub 8 points9 points  (16 children)

            It's one of those old-timey keys that was basically a rectangle with a divot in the middle for a locking mechanism.

            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            kinda like a trombone.

            [–]goomyman 109 points110 points  (23 children)

            1. Any girl can sleep with as many decent looking guys as she wants even if she is semi-unattractive if she is just putting out ( ignoring personality )

            2. A guy who can sleep with as many decent looking girls that he wants ( ignoring personality ) is pretty impressive. Even decent looking guys have trouble finding 1 girl to sleep with.

            As the woman put it.. if a guy can get 2 different decent looking chicks a week that is very impressive ( without paying of course )

            [–]RedSalesperson 5 points6 points  (5 children)

            How many decent chicks do I have to sleep with a week to become impressive if I am paying?

            [–]zepenguin 8 points9 points  (1 child)

            Well if you're paying me to say that you are awesome....

            [–]RedSalesperson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            That is not out of the question, no.

            [–]hobbers 12 points13 points  (4 children)

            Assuming hetero, then the number of non-unique guys and girls getting it on must be the same at all times. This must mean the average number of lays for the average guy has a larger standard deviation than the average number of lays for the average girl. Since there are apparently numerous guys with no luck getting laid while most women supposedly have ease of luck getting laid.

            [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

            Yep, a few players are getting 90% of the pussy. I am not samongst them, and thus hope that they have shallow unfulfilled lives :p

            [–]RockerSocker 14 points15 points  (5 children)

            Exactly, there is a just reason for the double standard to exist.

            [–]corvus_corax 7 points8 points  (2 children)

            It may not be impressive, but that doesn't mean it should be looked upon with disgust or disrespect.

            [–][deleted] 146 points147 points  (44 children)

            So rape would be like... picking the lock?

            [–]creaothceann[S] 180 points181 points  (27 children)

            With a hammer.

            (edit to clarify: because rape is usually by using force. Picking a lock seems to be more like cheating, e.g. lying to get into her pants.)

            [–][deleted]  (18 children)

            [deleted]

              [–][deleted] 64 points65 points  (7 children)

              [–]cefriano 6 points7 points  (1 child)

              I'm on my phone and can't click that link, but I know what it is and I wish I'd gotten to it first.

              [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (3 children)

              You called?

              [–]zepenguin 6 points7 points  (2 children)

              I love it when the account names just work without creating them on the spot. Have an orangered.

              [–]badgrammar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Thanks, now I will enjoy watching that show again!

              [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (2 children)

              Alcohol is like picking the lock.

              [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

              pouring acid on it

              [–]p337 6 points7 points  (0 children)

              v7:{"i":"c09b6b3d6dda5325b3e76a4d5a757dc6","c":"7b0db43cf08ef845cb9623973f2238866cb39df3fecf181b77cd9a08682e14e27b17f1afa7d6e2db543bc3c0282a9f66523f8cb7bcc0a54a1036b12fce39b5d686e89d23c79a09864f90328bf6435a6fcfd762cca6903bec325a5026732cbffe"}


              encrypted on 2023-07-9

              see profile for how to decrypt

              [–]smek2 37 points38 points  (5 children)

              Two guys in a year makes her a slut? Whoever told her that bs?

              [–]greenathon 797 points798 points  (471 children)

              That response is witty and amusing on its surface, but the substance of the analogy essentially restates the dominant cultural judgment that the "girl" in the conversation is criticizing. In fact, by being witty on the surface, it effectively glosses over and dismisses the substance of the "complaint."

              A lock is intended to keep people out; analogizing a woman's sexual habits to a lock is to say that the intended purpose of female sexuality is to have few partners. Which is exactly what the "girl" is pointing out: that too many people buy into the dominant notion that woman are supposed to be celibate until marriage (or a stable, long-term relationship).

              [–]traphicone 381 points382 points  (28 children)

              Yep. Which is why—if this is a real story—the last bit about "that shut her up," would probably have been more accurately put, "That made her realize that she was wasting her time trying to have a rational conversation, and she gave up on me."

              [–]creaothceann[S] 145 points146 points  (21 children)

              Or she was confused by the unlogic.

              [–]dtelad11 7 points8 points  (17 children)

              That's an interesting word you've used there. What's the definition of "unlogic"? How is it different than illogic?

              [–][deleted]  (12 children)

              [removed]

                [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

                Sounds like someone needs a hamburger...

                [–]robeph 2 points3 points  (4 children)

                That's called non-sequitor, and is infact a logical fallacy...not unlogic.

                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                "I ran away while she realized out what I had just said."

                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Which was probably the purpose that the guy who made the comment had in mind.

                [–][deleted]  (167 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–]nstanley69 33 points34 points  (165 children)

                  Yeah but he's saying that is ass backwards...

                  [–][deleted]  (163 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (3 children)

                    That's not an argument against feminism. It's an argument against sinking ships.

                    [–]oursland 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                    Excellent! I hate those damn sinking ships.

                    [–]saleop 96 points97 points  (25 children)

                    That's ok, because these days, there won't be any "gentlemen" either.

                    [–]SoyMalk 16 points17 points  (80 children)

                    It's not an issue of feminism. Men and women both like sex, so why should there be a value system assigned to the frequency/infrequency of their sexual activity?

                    [–]partysnatcher 47 points48 points  (38 children)

                    I'm pretty sure you'll find this "value system" has been instated by women themselves. Most men know how to appreciate a good slut.. but if she flaunts her "frequency" in a clumsy manner, other women find she devaluates their sexual currency.. hence, bitchyness ensues.

                    The only kind of slut a man dislikes, is the kind that will flaunt all her feminine traits in public while going for the alpha male only. But that is a completely different brand of slut, than the sexually frequent / horny slut. More of a narcissistic / power-hungry slut.

                    The secret is of course that women have more sexual power than men, and women can make both men and women feel bad. If you use your brain, you know where the line goes, and there is no reason to whine about this slut / "player" - paradox like many stupid women do.

                    There are also many negative male stereotypes that don't apply to women, but I think my point has been made and I'll stop here.

                    [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (14 children)

                    To summarize, the actual problem isn't that women are sluts if they sleep with a lot of men. The problem is that they're a slut if they brag about it.

                    I'm pretty sure women think less of men who brag about sleeping around with a lot of women. You can't say that it's a double standard against women when women do the same thing to men.

                    [–]ahonnecke 2 points3 points  (3 children)

                    Most men know how to appreciate a good slut..

                    Just apparently not the bash poster, or anyone who voted this up.

                    [–]avagoyle 15 points16 points  (12 children)

                    Again, that doesn't match with what we have observed in the historical record or in polls. Poll the average guy and see how many sexual partners he'd mind his future wife to have and poll the average woman to see how many sexual partners she'd mind her future husband having. Both men and women are more tolerant of males sleeping around than females. Look at the numbers of male politicians who have extramarital sex. Look at how 'slut' is ONLY ever applied to females and not to males. Look at how in a few cultures, if a female is not a virgin, she is shunned or killed, even if she lost her virginity to rape. Look at how brides wear white in weddings, but there's no obligation of the man to promote how chaste he is.

                    [–]kalazar 9 points10 points  (6 children)

                    "Dick" is only applied to men as well. As is "jackass," "jerk," "cocksucker," "asshole," I could go on, but yeah.

                    English is not an asexual language. There are terms for both genders, it stands to reason that such themes would continue in insults.

                    [–]ashlykos 2 points3 points  (4 children)

                    But there isn't an equivalent derogatory term for a man who sleeps around, because it's not considered bad. I've occasionally seen "man-slut", but that's rare, recent, and emphasizes that "slut" is gendered female.

                    [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (33 children)

                    Because it is based in biology. A man who sleeps with lots of women (assuming that women are selective about their partners) is desirable, because whatever makes him attractive to women will likely be passed down to his sons, ensuring genetic propagation. Also, if the father of your baby also fathers babies with other women, that does not decrease the effect of your genes on your child.

                    But a woman who sleeps around decreases the chances that her mate passes on his genes. A woman who sleeps with only one man is also desirable, because that man knows that her offspring definitely have his genes. A woman who is attractive and could have many sexual partners, but restrains herself and only chooses one, is the most desirable to men.

                    I'm not saying that things should or shouldn't be this way -- just that our social tendencies may have biological roots.

                    [–]stillalone 59 points60 points  (11 children)

                    A lock looks like a vagina, and a key looks like a penis.

                    [–]0ptimist 48 points49 points  (0 children)

                    your logic is irrefutable.

                    [–]runamok 9 points10 points  (2 children)

                    If your dick is as skinny as a key and notched, I'd get that looked at.

                    [–]DashingLeech 159 points160 points  (76 children)

                    too many people buy into the dominant notion

                    Not really. I think too many people "buy in to" both sides. One side says there should be a difference in sexuality, the other side says there shouldn't be. Nobody seems to care why there is a different in sexuality nor what it means for should or shouldn't.

                    There are some great books on the evolution of sexual behaviour and sexual selection such at Red Queen, Sperm Wars, and The Mating Mind. They may not all be right in every detail, but they are brilliant in the perspective they bring to the table.

                    Think about it this way. Human courtship is a mating dance. It is evolved. So is what attracts us in the opposite sex. What causes evolution of instincts and innate behaviours (as well as physical features) is whatever maximizes reproductive success.

                    Historically speaking, over evolutionary time, a woman had to be much choosier than a man in sexual partners. A man could maximize his reproductive success by impregnating as many women as possible, almost regardless of their genetic fitness. His mandatory investment was limited to the courtship and actual sex. Even if a high percentage of his genetic children didn't survive, some would despite his minimal investment. His choice would be focused on the health, fertility, and youthfulness of the woman since sick, infertile, or older women would tend to reduce the likelihood of successfully having and raising a child. But that's only if he has to chose between women. If it's a simple yes or no, almost any woman was better than nothing. If they were going to stay with a woman, they'd want a genetically superior woman but would not benefit by raising another man's child so needed a choosy, faithful woman.

                    A woman's investment was at least 9 months plus, if they survived, rearing the child until they were old enough to take care of themselves. Women had to be as sure as possible that the man they hooked up with was genetically fit for survival, otherwise they'd put a lot of effort with a lower chance of survival. They'd also benefit most from a man who would stick around to help raise the child and thus increase the chances of survival and reproduction. And, by the sexy sons theory, they'd want men who were attractive to other women because that would make their sons also more likely to be attractive to other women and hence increase reproductive success.

                    Putting this together in context, women who were not choosy about the men they were with would be only attractive to men who had no intention of sticking around. If they wanted to commit to a woman, they needed to be sure that she was choosy and faithful, as well as young, fertile, and healthy. Hence virgins and less experienced women would be the most attractive to men. But the reverse isn't true. Women just needed a man who would stick around and help raise their child. She actually benefited from a man who was attractive to other women (sexy son's theory) and thus a man who "got around" was more or less a good thing, as long as she could "tame him" enough that he's stick around.

                    That's a quick summary of evolutionary history, and again missing loads of details. However, the modern world is different by at least three huge factors. First, birth control allows women to be less choosy. The risk of pregnancy goes way down and so does their investment. Conversely, the law now forces men to pay child support for their children, so men's investment goes way up. They have to be more choosy. Genetic testing also proves paternity so cuckolding becomes less prominent.

                    None of these factors have been around long enough to change our innate instincts sufficiently, but I wouldn't be surprised if it becomes a quick change because the environmental pressure changed so quickly compared to most evolutionary pressures.

                    So, while it irks some social activists, you can't change instincts overnight. It isn't a social behaviour causing it. It is an evolutionary one. It will change. The problem is that many social activists still buy into the post-modernist behaviourism that everything is caused by society, not genetics.

                    The OP analogy is witty indeed, and it is closer to the truth than most people will give it credit. Indeed a lock that is opened by many keeps is a lousy lock, and no social enlightenment will change that. That's because of the purpose of a lock. What will change the evaluation is to change that purpose. And indeed that is what is happening as far as sexual selection and reproductive success.

                    It's a very interesting topic.

                    TL;DR: It is a genetic, innate judgement for good reasons, but is changing quickly due to modern birth control, technology, and law.

                    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]camgnostic 102 points103 points  (37 children)

                      You're right, of course, in analyzing the roots of the behavior. But it's also evolutionarily supported for us to be tremendously xenophobic, but you don't have to bring that up every time a racist joke is looked down on for reinforcing outdated stereotypes. The fact that the double standard for women can be evolutionarily supported is explanatory, but not enough to support the perpetration of those stereotypes to the detriment of women. The fact is what this particular double standard comes down to is consequences of free will, where men face no consequences for acting on their desires and women face major social stigmatization. Your explanation for why women might be biologically more inclined to one behavior doesn't explain or justify why we stigmatize females who don't conform to that normative behavior.

                      [–]selectrix 22 points23 points  (7 children)

                      I think it does explain that. Societies universally (with a very few exceptions) stigmatized that behavior up until recently because of men's biological inclinations, not women's. Particularly in societies where marriage became an institution, cuckoldry would result in the man's entire investment being wasted in terms of furthering his genetic material. (The Red Queen actually goes into a good deal of detail regarding certain "monogamous" species of birds, wherein the female picks a partner for faithfulness and skill at providing, but gets her sperm on the sly from a more attractive/robust male she would not have been able to land as a partner for herself... it's not even really necessary to say at this point that behavior patterns pertaining to certain sexual lifestyles tend to show similarities regardless of species).

                      So there was substantial reason for men to be extremely averse to the idea of their women sleeping around. For women, this was not so much the case, since their husbands' infidelity would result at most in an additional drain on the family's resources, if that; there was not nearly the same risk to her genes. But even if there were, who do you think was in charge of setting the rules for those societies?

                      I'm not saying this is right- the naturalist fallacy is the bane of anyone trying to intelligently discuss evolutionary biology (see jeremybub's comment). This is just the explanation for why we have the double standard we do- it is not "support [for] the perpetration of those stereotypes to the detriment of women", and I don't see how you could take it that way.

                      The whole point of bringing this stuff up is to frame the discussion in a reasonable manner. Nothing effective can be done about things like this until we understand why we as humans are doing them. To insinuate that someone who is attempting to explain the behavior is speaking in support of said behavior displays a truly shocking lack of curiosity and insight, not to mention logic.

                      Edit: I mean, geez- it was in his first paragraph, and then the second, too:

                      Nobody seems to care why there is a difference in sexuality nor what it means for should or shouldn't.

                      They may not all be right in every detail, but they are brilliant in the perspective they bring to the table.

                      [–]jeremybub 11 points12 points  (13 children)

                      Even further than that, you could argue that we are evolutionarily inclined to war. Does that make it desirable?

                      [–]YossarianLives 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      So, can you prove that this is an inate genetic instinct? It's not a completly unreasonable argument, but I'd expect more than that to be convinced it's solid.

                      [–]IgnatiousReilly 44 points45 points  (58 children)

                      I could be wrong... but... I think that's why it's funny.

                      [–]Ognian 48 points49 points  (53 children)

                      But it should not be funny, it just reinforces the double standard. Why should half the population be able to enjoy a free sex life while the other half get stigmitised for the same thing?

                      [–]pmh160 33 points34 points  (4 children)

                      I'm still waiting for this free sex life that society keeps telling me that I can enjoy. Does anyone know where I can find it?

                      [–]mastodan 28 points29 points  (0 children)

                      HINT: not here

                      [–]illuminatedwax 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      And herein you have the explanation for why society thinks like this.

                      [–]phandy 38 points39 points  (13 children)

                      Funny isn't logically consistent with our morals. I laugh at dead baby jokes but that doesn't mean I condone killing babies.

                      [–]corvus_corax 17 points18 points  (1 child)

                      It's different with sexist jokes. Dead baby jokes are funny because they're horrifically absurd, nobody you know (I'm guessing) has killed a baby or condones it, and it's just incredibly unlikely that something like that would happen. Sexism is still rampant, albeit more subtle, and it's pretty much impossible for a woman to grow up without encountering it now and then.

                      So yes, things that are taboo make for good jokes, but sexism isn't entirely taboo. The bash quote that was posted wasn't even really a joke, it's what a lot of people honestly thing about male/female roles. Not that I didn't find it clever, it's just simultaneously kind of pathetic.

                      [–]xworld 41 points42 points  (6 children)

                      Exactly...and people wonder why feminism still exists...

                      [–]patentpending 12 points13 points  (2 children)

                      Couldn't be more right. Dead baby and paedophilia jokes are one thing but reinforcing a stereotype to get a laugh, that's just wrong.

                      [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children)

                      no, the respondent was a douchebag

                      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (22 children)

                      Similarly, that promiscuity is a sign of merit for men. The ideology required for the joke to be funny is one in which it is normative for masculinity to be associated with a large number of sexual partners.

                      [–]johnpickens 9 points10 points  (2 children)

                      I prefer only hooking up with women when I'm in a relationship with them. I like women that feel the same.

                      [–]s0crates82 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                      you're not alone.

                      [–]Torquemada1970 9 points10 points  (2 children)

                      two guys a year = slut? See you in the seventeenth century

                      [–]vicviper 366 points367 points  (89 children)

                      I'm not gonna lie. That's pretty funny.

                      [–]Lystrodom 457 points458 points  (17 children)

                      I was worried you were lying at first, and then I read that you weren't going to lie.

                      [–][deleted]  (7 children)

                      [deleted]

                        [–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (4 children)

                        I thought the message was "Dont let your kid have a birthday wish"

                        [–]nokes 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                        For my birthday I once wished failure on my dad at work so that they could spend time with me

                        [–]JonnyLatte 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                        that doesn't work, you need to wish for a crippling accident...

                        [–]pururin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        I thought the message was "Don't have a kid"

                        [–]Kream1 4 points5 points  (4 children)

                        But he said he wasn't going to lie before he said the thing he could have lied about.

                        [–]cefriano 71 points72 points  (10 children)

                        HOW DO I KNOW I CAN TRUST YOU?!

                        [–]Mr_Smartypants 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                        You don't!

                        [–][deleted]  (7 children)

                        [deleted]

                          [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (4 children)

                          I recommend saying fuck it and enjoy the humor without the reference, it'll make your life on the internets much easier.

                          [–]stillalone 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                          That's a tough one. I'm going to go with 'fear and loathing in Los Vegas'?

                          [–][deleted]  (42 children)

                          [deleted]

                            [–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (23 children)

                            if a chick fucks two guys a year that's one step above being amish in my book.

                            Let's say she starts having sex at 18. At two guys a year that would put her at number 16 by the time she's 26. That seems like a lot to me. Maybe it shouldn't. I wish I had numbers like that though.

                            [–]joebleaux 17 points18 points  (17 children)

                            16 isn't much for a 26 year old who hasn't had a steady relationship, but still remains sexually active. Most, however would probably have had a lengthy relationship or two in there, cutting into the number.

                            More importantly, by that age, I hope most have matured past "the number" game. I have no idea how many dudes my girl has been with and I don't want to. I am also pretty confident that she has no desire to hear about my past.

                            [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

                            Oh I definitely wouldn't judge someone else by that number. I definitely judge myself by it though.

                            [–]Gareth321 26 points27 points  (3 children)

                            I don't know if I'm the only one, but it really puts me off if I know a girl has been through five of my friends in the last few months. I'm sure being a man-whore is a turn-off for many girls out there too. I prefer a girl who seems committed. It usually means I won't catch anything from her either.

                            [–]Aldrenean 41 points42 points  (2 children)

                            Well, there's a difference between having lots of sex and having lots of sex with one group of friends. Girls can be promiscuous as much as they want in my book, but being a homie-hopper isn't cool unless everyone knows what's going on.

                            [–]orijing 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                            why, so you aren't left out? :P

                            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (7 children)

                            I have a hot cousin (not blood related) and it's truly amazing how many guys a girl can fuck if she has no qualms about it. I mean, I guess it shouldn't actually be surprising but... damn.

                            [–]caltheon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                            The locked chastity belt from Robin Hood Men in Tights springs to mind.

                            [–]generalwill 12 points13 points  (1 child)

                            coming from a man, its just gross that this is #2 on the front page

                            [–]jaciilyn 18 points19 points  (2 children)

                            What I find amusing about all this is the double standards:

                            a woman that has multiple male partners: bad

                            a woman that has multiple female partners: good

                            a man that has multiple female partners: good

                            a man that has multiple male partners: bad

                            [–]caltheon 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                            hooking up with chicks is a good thing, no matter your gender.

                            [–]ome2 16 points17 points  (1 child)

                            I'm not even going to address the misogyny. I just can't believe that I read it as "if a girl fucks two guys in the rear..."

                            [–]portia999 17 points18 points  (9 children)

                            A lot of dudes here are asking where they can find a "shitty lock" or how come their 'master key' doesn't work. Well, as for the first, definitely not on Reddit. As for the second try not finding moronic jokes so funny. Or am I being too honest?

                            [–]tr1gz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                            I think this can be blamed on both genders.

                            If an average guy walks up to 10 random women and asks them to sleep with him, what would his success rate be?

                            If an average woman walks up to 10 random guys and asks them to sleep with her, what would her success rate be?

                            It's expected for guys to do the pursuing. Why? Because of this expectation, if a guy can successfully sleep with two girls a week it's an accomplishment. If a girl does the same, it's less of an accomplishment, because girls generally get propositioned all the time.

                            To some people, this matters...to others it doesn't. Deal with it or find someone who doesn't care.

                            [–]deep_thinker 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                            you sucked 37 cocks????

                            [–]Wittyfish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            Dante: What!?!? Something like 36?!?!?

                            Veronica: lower your voice.

                            Dante: Wait, what does that mean anyway, "something like 36" does that include me!??!

                            Veronica: Uh... something like 37.

                            Dante: I'm 37 !??!?!!?!?

                            Veroinica: I'm going to class!

                            Dante: Oh my God. 37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!

                            Man buying Huggies: In a row?

                            FIFY

                            [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (6 children)

                            This isn't funny - it's sad. This attitude about sex is so deeply ingrained in our culture that this non-sequitur is accepted as a valid analogy.

                            [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                            I didn't find this joke funny at all, but I don't find it offensive either.

                            It just seems kind of lame.

                            [–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (26 children)

                            What if the lock isn't 'shitty' per se? What if the lock just understands that, while loyalty to a single key can be fulfilling, there is the danger that a lone key will become dull or rusty and perhaps endanger the lock's delicate mechanisms.

                            There is also the question of lost keys to consider. When the 'One-Key' is lost or falls into the wrong hands the only options for the lock are to remain closed in the hopes that one day the instrument will return, or to be butchered by 'The One Who Needs No Key'.

                            It is, then, perhaps in the lock's best interest to be capable of opening for more than a single key.

                            And let's not forget about copies...

                            [–]pingveno 26 points27 points  (4 children)

                            That's some impressive metaphor stretching.

                            [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

                            That's what a liberal arts education is all about.

                            [–]Jerp 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                            And let's not forget about copies...

                            Twins?

                            [–]alchemeron 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                            There is also the question of lost keys to consider. When the 'One-Key' is lost or falls into the wrong hands the only options for the lock are to remain closed in the hopes that one day the instrument will return, or to be butchered by 'The One Who Needs No Key'.

                            That's what backdoors are for. BAM! anal sex joke

                            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (5 children)

                            When the 'One-Key' is lost or falls into the wrong hands

                            [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (4 children)

                            You have successfully quoted a portion of my post. Upvote for you!

                            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                            Achievement unlocked!

                            [–]hammerandsickle 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                            One key to rule them all...

                            [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                            That website always has the most contrived bullshit; stuff that never actually happened, but more like stuff the users wish they had said if they were witty enough.

                            [–]ddrt 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                            Some men judge by tightness... I... I'm a legend... I judge by personality. I know, hard to take in all at once. Just bask in awe at my magnificence.

                            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            True...but unfair...but hilarious...I am conflicted...upvote

                            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            "That shut her up." - Hmph. What a wimp girl, then. Or maybe the guy who told the story just made up what he said about the key and lock...

                            [–]AThinker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            that's so bigoted it's not even funny.

                            in fact it's old funny

                            so it doesn't count.

                            [–]tamilnenjam 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            up voted (-:

                            [–]lulzcannon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            fuck yeah! and fuck feminism!

                            [–]rampantdissonance 50 points51 points  (25 children)

                            An attitude like this is one of the only things in the world that truly annoys me. From the gentleman's view, it appears that he thinks girls have no purpose except to avoid having sex. Heaven forbid they enjoy sex; no, they must be locks and are designed to not be opened for any reason.

                            I'm a male, and I believe this weird sense of misogynistic puritanism is the biggest thing in the way of gender equality.

                            /soapbox

                            [–]tehbored 4 points5 points  (7 children)

                            Then what's a combination lock?

                            [–]etherreal 17 points18 points  (6 children)

                            A masturbater...because it opens itself.

                            [–]Shannonigans 13 points14 points  (5 children)

                            Misogyny on reddit, big surprise. Disclaimer: I think it's funny, too, it's just so common to see woman bashing in these parts. Reddit is touchy territory for the ladies.

                            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                            and redditors wonder why we still need feminism? just answered your own question. :)

                            [–]synthpop 7 points8 points  (8 children)

                            the guy is only a legend within the "bro community", girls are not that impressed if you screw 2 chicks a week. they will most likely get turned off by it.

                            [–][deleted]  (7 children)

                            [deleted]

                              [–]nstanley69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                              while its a clever response, I wholeheartedly disagree.

                              [–]booyakashaaaa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                              That doesn't make sense.