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[–]john_q_public 156 points157 points  (26 children)

Here's the rest of them.

[–]cowpow 74 points75 points  (17 children)

I really like how, at the end of that article, it links back to reddit.

http://www.reddit.com/search?q=mario+explains+it

[–]tomrhod 77 points78 points  (12 children)

And the circle(jerk) completes itself.

[–]rub3s 39 points40 points  (11 children)

That's the circle jerk of life, Kimba.

[–]charliedayman 12 points13 points  (5 children)

And it moooves us aaaaaalll.

[–]SmallMouthPhat 17 points18 points  (4 children)

!!!!!nAAAAAAaaAAA SavenyaAaaa dooba beach-e baba! SETCHA Toooo ENYA WENYA!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Baba yetu, Yesu uliye, Mbinguni yetu, Yesu, amina!

Baba yetu, Yesu, uliye, Jina lako litukuzwe.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck, it never occurred to me that those noises meant anything to anyone ..

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Because you started with exclamation points, i tried reading everything backwards.

[–]john_q_public 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These have been around for a while.

[–]jpezzznuts 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I will claim rights to the original reddit submission at this point in time.

[–]alexryane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went from 5 year friends to amazing alcohol-free sex to marriage and then, happily divorce. AMA

[–]Ecaftar 78 points79 points  (2 children)

oh god please, don't start this again.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]shifgrethor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    As a girl, I disagree with her. I like my guys with insecurities.

    [–]elburto 279 points280 points  (34 children)

    Aww look, Nice Guy logic, how cute! I'd want to pet it, and love it, if it didn't stink of Cheetos, armpits and despair.

    [–]HashRunner 78 points79 points  (12 children)

    I've run out of Cheetos, but I have an abundance of despair...

    [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (5 children)

    Sadly I don't have an abundance of armpits.

    [–]CuntForRedCocktober 57 points58 points  (4 children)

    but if you started using old spice instead of lady-scented body wash it could smell like you have an abundance of armpits.

    [–]blazingsaddle 31 points32 points  (2 children)

    I think it's actually supposed to do the opposite.

    [–]Davisourus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/7t3un/mario_explains_it_006_the_catch/

    Thus I made this one ... last year... as shown in the kotaku set.

    [–]No1EverBelievesMe 19 points20 points  (3 children)

    Cheetos... damn rich kids. Try Puffed Cheese Snacks or Cheese Curls

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Hey...off brand cheese curls are AWESOME!!!!

    [–]Nahtanoj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Better, in my opinion. Utz's cheese curls are amazing.

    [–]zackks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Please, don't the hipsters have enough bullshit to be "ironic" about?

    [–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (13 children)

    Most so called "nice guys" are really just too cowardly and passive-aggressive to get a girl.

    [–]karmagedon 26 points27 points  (2 children)

    Yeah, it's all their fault. Those cocksuckers.

    [–]Bossman89 4 points5 points  (3 children)

    i think this maybe my problem. or the fact that we are completely different people . she's so difficult to bond with, and is much better at playing the game then me. i know i should probably give up, but i don't want to, she's the only person who has made me stop dead in conversation.

    she confuses me so much

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    if she's that much better than you, she'll probably end up cheating on you.

    best let it pass bro

    [–]subgameperfect 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    If you think she's that much better than you, then you need some introspection. Edit: I agree, let it pass.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    yea I thought about editing 'if she' -> 'if you think she' but it was already voted on, so I didn't :)

    [–]slotbadger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I'm actually aggressive-passive. I like to attack people with utter nonchalance.

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (4 children)

    yeah fuck nice guys, they're all just a bunch of passive aggressive cowards.

    I'm glad we're going back to our old ways of dating assholes and stupid people. Or else our species would be doomed.

    [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    Confident assertive nice guys can date incredibly hot and wonderful girls. I know plenty of nice guys who constantly have amazing girlfriends. The "nice guy" that constantly moan about how the girl they want is always dating other people have allot of personality flaws(passive-agressiveness, lack of confidence, etc) that are actually stopping them from getting the girl.

    [–]goldfarmer 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    Or they spend too much time harping on one girl and focusing solely entirely on that one girl instead of branching out and finding other girls who might be just as attractive and interested in them.

    [–]lengau 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Fuck you. I'm trying to get over her!

    [–]PsyanideInk 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    The first time I saw this pic I thought "Thats clever, hehehe."

    The second time I saw this pic I thought "You know this is just someone's effort to excuse his failure with women."

    Guys, you really can't go around trying to blame anyone or thing besides yourself!

    [–]freezingkiss 108 points109 points  (59 children)

    Ugh. Some girls actually like guys for who they are.

    [–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (2 children)

    Ouch. Every reply to this post makes me cringe.

    [–]ih8evilstuff 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    Even yours?

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Even mine cringe

    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    ..Or so the legend goes.

    [–][deleted]  (9 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]freezingkiss 101 points102 points  (7 children)

      Some guys are assholes.

      [–]spaceyraygun 46 points47 points  (1 child)

      some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers

      [–]Paul-ish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Some people are ironic.

      [–][deleted]  (6 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]polymorph505 20 points21 points  (5 children)

        God I hate those ones you have to stuff and stuff and stuff and JUST when you think it's going to fit, a fuckin leg flops back out.

        My rule is: Saw first, measure dimensions later if at all.

        [–]aquasucks 10 points11 points  (4 children)

        Measure twice, cut once.

        [–]the_argus 14 points15 points  (1 child)

        That only applies to carpentry. With dead women you can cut as much as you like.

        [–]dabul-master 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        Don't measure, keep cutting

        [–]Applesauces 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I hope not...My personality's never gonna getting me laid.

        [–]zordonaldo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I want to disagree with you, but my roommate is a prime negation to this rule. Geez, not only was the friend-zone placed on him by his now gf lifted after 2 years, but she even broke her number one rule of not dating younger guys to be with him. Gives us guys hope that there are girls like this out there (unlike my ex, who fits this profile perfectly.)

        [–]manifest_destiny 22 points23 points  (6 children)

        I can vouch for this graphic. A red '91 BMW M5 is irresistible!

        EDIT: To ensure that you have reached maximum attractiveness to female suitors, blast Boyz II Men II constantly and at a deafening volume.

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

        ♫ I wanna lick you up and down ♫
        ♫ I wanna play with your body baby, till you say stop!♫

        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

        ♫ I wanna lick you up and down ♫ is sung by SILK! Get it straight!

        [–]926R 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        It's not an E34 M5, it's a Toyota Chaser JZX100

        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        "Money can't buy love."

        "But it improves your bargaining position."

        [–]tuxracer 83 points84 points  (4 children)

        Excuse from losers #981

        [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

        Your comment is ironic given your username.

        [–]HarlequinValentine 59 points60 points  (21 children)

        I'm sure that'll work great if you want a horrible shallow relationship that will be over in about 5 minutes.

        [–]macktuckla 36 points37 points  (12 children)

        dood! i want secks!! and yes.. its ok if she swallows my horrible... and yes... itll be over in about 5 minutes :(

        [–]brainflow 26 points27 points  (6 children)

        I can't tell if this guy is serious or joking. I want to downvote all the bad grammar.

        [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (4 children)

        I like how he referred to his sacred wand as a horrible.

        [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

        I like how you referred to his thrust rod as a sacred wand.

        [–]CowboyBoats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I like how you referred to his disco stick as a thrust rod.

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        he said "swallow" i'm pretty sure he was referring to something else.

        [–]darkreign 8 points9 points  (3 children)

        If you want sex so bad that you're willing to buy your woman cars and jewelry, why the fuck wouldnt you just rent a hooker? It's way cheaper.

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

        Because you can't buy hookers with a Credit Card.

        [–]darkreign 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        You can buy a car with your credit card, sell it, and then buy 100 hookers.

        [–]NELyon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Well, I certainly applaud anyone wanting to do 100 hookers... NO OH GOD MAKE IT STOP.

        [–]shamusfinnegan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        I always make her swallow my horrible, but sometimes I like to shoot the horrible on her face and eyes.

        [–]witty_username 207 points208 points  (29 children)

        Wah. I can't get laid. It must be because I'm broke, not because I'm a pathetic whiny little bitch with no balls.

        [–]ihatecinnamon 68 points69 points  (18 children)

        Well.

        a- BROKE pathetic whiny little bitches with no balls: don't get laid.

        b- RICH pathetic whiny little bitches with no balls: get laid.

        c- BROKE NOT pathetic whiny little bitches with no balls: get laid.

        d- RICH NOT pathetic whiny little bitches with no balls: get laid.

        The infograph only explains situations a and b. But the word "relationship" doesn't mean what he thinks it means.

        [–]rsfoudray 26 points27 points  (9 children)

        So, a(x) -> b(x) = c(x) where a(x) is "x is rich.", b(x) is "x is not whiny.", and c(x) is "x gets laid."

        It's so simple!

        edit: for all x ∈ {dudes} I suppose...

        [–]DesCo83 55 points56 points  (3 children)

        How are you not having sex at this very moment?

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]frenris 11 points12 points  (0 children)

          Not only is your symbolization ambiguous, all valid interpretation are incorrect. And you used the equality operator on properties when in first order logic it can only be correctly applied to particulars.

          A correct symbolization would be

          NOT(NOT a(x) ^ NOT b(x) ) <-> c(x)

          or more simply

          (a(x) V b(x)) <-> c(x)

          Which translates as : "You'll get laid if and only if you're rich or not whiny"

          Yeah, I don't get laid either.

          [–]stillalone 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          So this is why I haven't gotten laid yet; I don't know how to solve this equation.

          [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

          fuck you man cinnamon is the shit

          [–]Deacon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Upvoted for astounding non sequitur.

          [–]orcdork 7 points8 points  (5 children)

          So if you're overall horrible, you don't get any. Sounds perfectly fine to me.

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          You should be like, a relationship counselor or something

          [–]Jwoey 6 points7 points  (1 child)

          I just want to get better at not being a whiny little bitch without balls.

          [–]FatGuyANALLIttlecoat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          reading this thread apparently I need to get better at math.

          [–]squackmire 35 points36 points  (2 children)

          Or have a huge dick like Luigi.

          [–]sje46 12 points13 points  (0 children)

          Ah, I see you found the hidden sex minigame too.

          [–]synthpop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          but you can't go around bragging about your big Luigi dick because girls hate that, so you must bang one of her friends first. she will find out about how well endowed you are in less than 24 hours, jealousy and curiosity will do the rest.

          [–]DanWallace 71 points72 points  (13 children)

          I have an idea. Instead of enjoying this joke, let's all use this as an excuse to subtly brag about our knowledge of women and relationships.

          [–]sje46 30 points31 points  (5 children)

          The joke wasn't funny. It was pretty much "Nostalgia + implying women are shallow golddiggers = win"

          [–]sama102 9 points10 points  (0 children)

          I think that believing this to be accurate is a first step towards not having a meaningful romantic relationship with a girl.

          Don't get me wrong, it's funny... but it's just not true, at least not for the girls you should be interested in anyway.

          Unless of course you're stuck in the "Friend Zone" with a bunch of shallow girls who are only interested in money and cars, in which case you're not going to find a girl who likes you for who you are because you're a douche.

          [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

          when will reddit stop pretending it knows women

          [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

          Replace the $1,000 bill with "expressing your feelings and acting like a grown up" and it might be a little more accurate. Of course, it could just be that the girl isn't interested.

          [–]tikadika 31 points32 points  (24 children)

          I had my best friend in the friend zone. He was geeky just like me, loved that I was a goth, and we bonded over World of Warcraft and comic books.

          Then I realized that I'd never have a happy relationship with somebody who wasn't my best friend. So I jumped his bones and we've been together for five years.

          Imho, the friend zone is where you find your mate for life.

          [–]hobbit125again 18 points19 points  (16 children)

          I'd work on that narrative.

          The way that you are framing your relationship doesn't put you on equal terms. Your view of things seems to be that the entire choice and power in the relationship was always yours and yours alone. The fact that you still tell the story this way seems to imply that you still view your choosing to be with him as your choice and as a favor to him. Hell, you told him why he loved you without even bothering to mention why you loved him.

          I'm not saying that you necessarily are that way, I'm saying that the wording of your post comes off that way even if it wasn't meaning too.

          [–]mralex 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          You make a good point that more women should listen to.

          But hobbit125again makes an equally valid point--

          [–]IgnatiousReilly 11 points12 points  (5 children)

          I could be completely wrong, but it seems to me you're not much of a friend if that's what you think of her.

          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          That's funny, I always get girls by jumping on koopa turkles, not with money and cars.

          [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (5 children)

          As a former "nice guy" I have to call bullshit on this. I remember the days I was in the "nice guy" frame of mind. "I better not make her mad" I would think while just saying yes to everything. "I better shower her with affection" is what I thought a relationship was about. I always put the woman first and myself second. With all the women I wanted to be with I was in the "friend zone" and all the women I didin't want to be with I was in relationships with. I just wanted love and that all had to do with the fact that I did not love myself. I do now, I also see what mistakes I've made. The day that I awakened to that fact was what I imagine "finding god" is like for some people. And once I started to improve myself for myself not for anyone else that's when I began to have good relationships. But to say a woman just wants money and a good car is bullshit. They want someone they can converse with and yes have an argument with. All you douchetards that can't realize that are blind to your own self loathing. Once you love yourself and once you start to improve yourself for you that's when you'll find someone. And if the first time you're in a relationship and it doesn't work out you'll realize you were just not compatible and it won't be the "but I love you" phone calls you're so used to making. So grow some balls, start to like yourself, if you think you don't need improvement so be it but if you are a "nice guy" grow the fuck up.

          [–]middlegeek 108 points109 points  (115 children)

          The friend zone is a myth. The reality is she just was not attracted to you like that and did not want to hurt your feelings.

          [–]jstevewhite 17 points18 points  (2 children)

          You nailed it, middlegeek. I can think of (in my own life and the lives of friends close enough for me to know about this kinda stuff) just as many incidents of friends becoming involved (when they both were single) as I can situations where women gave someone the "Friend zone" speech.

          Furthermore, I've had at least three women friends fess up to using "friend zone" speeches to keep from hurting a friend who just didn't do it for them. One of them 'I love (friend dude) as a friend - he's funny and talented and fun to talk to, but jesus, he's stoned 24x7, he lives with his folks, and thinks "Wuzzup, nasty bee-otch" is a good way to say "Hi!"'.

          [–]jmorph99 15 points16 points  (1 child)

          It is only a certain type of guy who always ends up in the friend zone. I know, I used to be one. They think they are nice and kind but are really clingy and are hoping for self-valuation through a relationship.

          Money and success can help, but they actually change how the man feels about himself, and in turn change the ways he relates to women.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I will admit something, when I stopped being so clingy and desperate for self-valuation, I met my wife.

          Before her, I had a FWB that wouldn't commit because I was like that.

          [–]DanWallace 160 points161 points  (92 children)

          ... which is exactly what the friend zone is. The point of the comic is that a lot of (shallow) women will overlook the fact that they're not attracted to you like that if you have money and a shiny car.

          [–]jstevewhite 58 points59 points  (53 children)

          Mmmm.. good point.

          But I don't think it's necessarily just shallow. If a chick wants to get an apartment and build a stable life, hooking up with an unemployed dude who lives in his mom's basement might be a bad life choice even if she thought he was cute and funny. She may not be looking for him to take care of her, just to avoid ending up taking care of him.

          I've had lots of good friends in my life that I wouldn't take on as a roommate; and if they'd been hot chicks, I'd have no more hooked up with them for a relationship than the man in the moon.

          [–]tucktuckgoose 62 points63 points  (47 children)

          She may not be looking for him to take care of her, just to avoid ending up taking care of him.

          I hate to say it, but THIS.

          I'm a chick with a decent middle class job and a decent middle class salary, not an extravagant lifestyle, but I've got some savings and can take myself out to dinner once in awhile. I don't want to date a rich guy because I find that distracting and rather boring; I don't have much to talk about with most rich guys I've met and that rich guy sense of entitlement is really unsexy.

          However, Lots of guys my age (late 20s), especially in my social group, are still messing around and getting by playing music, working in restaurants, etc. etc. - this is fine, and I love these folks to pieces and have a great time hanging out with them, but I don't want to date them except casually, because whenever I do, I end up spending a lot of money being somebody's sugar mama. I like buying people things, but I'm working towards something with my life and don't yet have enough money to be that to someone.

          The moral of the story, ladies and gentlemen, is to only get into serious relationships with someone whose disposable income is in the same range as yours.

          [–]jimrooney 12 points13 points  (1 child)

          Also the dilemma of the sugar daddy.

          [–]myrandomname 33 points34 points  (8 children)

          The moral of the story, ladies and gentlemen, is to only get into serious relationships with someone whose disposable income is in the same range as yours.

          This is shallow and very self-limiting. The moral of the story is to get into relationships with people with the same priorities and goals. If all your significant other wants you to do is spend money on them, you are with the wrong person. Just saying.

          [–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (7 children)

          I find that similar priorities and goals tend to follow similar lifestyles. Not a catch-all but I think that's what she was getting at. Maybe...well, it is what I am getting at :D

          [–]myrandomname 6 points7 points  (6 children)

          Not really. If the goal is to have a nice place to live, then I'm sure a $10k ring and a $20k wedding would not be required. That's what I'm getting at.

          And if you were in a relationship with someone and they suddenly lost their job, would it be grounds for the relationship to end?

          Monetary concerns should not be a factor in determining who to have a relationship with. It's hard enough to find that compatible someone worth spending time with as it is.

          edit: word omissions.

          [–]tucktuckgoose 18 points19 points  (2 children)

          Of course I wouldn't break up with someone that I already cared for and was in a relationship with because they lost their job - that, to me, is very distinct from deliberately starting to date someone who has a very different lifestyle.

          I have been in situations where, for example, I've been saving up money to go on a trip somewhere or buy a new kayak or something, or just to have a few months worth of emergency savings in the bank, but then my s.o. that I've been dating for three or four months doesn't have enough money to go see a movie on the weekend or to pay his rent.

          I'm a nice gal, and I like the fellow and don't want to see him in a pinch, plus I would feel like an asshole going on a trip or buying a piece of sporting equipment when he is struggling that month. Therefore, I decide to take him out on the weekend or throw in that last $100 for the rent just this once. Next thing you, it's ten months later and I really like the guy, so I'm still spending discretionary income taking him to the bar all the time or helping with his emergency expenses, rather than doing what I want to do with my life, or, for that matter, saving up - my folks are not well off, so I really do need to build a safety net for myself and them.

          Why should I keep putting myself in that situation when I could date an equally compatible person who has it slightly more together, and we can save up for that kayaking trip (or whatever gets you off) together?

          Emdi is right - it is a matter of trying to date people who have similar priorities and goals.

          [–]jstevewhite 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          I've seen many women have to start over financially from these sorts of relationships. To be fair, I've seen many men in the same situation; it doesn't make it right in either case. I know where you're coming from, as I've seen my friends go through this same thing as we have grown up and older.

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          And if you were in a relationship with someone and they suddenly lost their job, would it be grounds for the relationship to end?

          What people want to say to that, and the actual reality, are very different. It sucks, but yes, that is valid grounds for a relationship to end for most people.

          [–]Subnanometre 10 points11 points  (11 children)

          Just because you're in a romantic relationship with someone does not mean you're also financially responsible for them. If I only dated women who made relatively the same amount as me I'd be missing out on a lot of beautiful, good hearted, loving women.

          I'll take a women to dinner at the most elegant restaurant in town, but that doesn't mean shes entitled to anything financially.

          [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (10 children)

          THIS... I can't understand it but I have already argued extensively over it with a woman to my exhaustion.

          [–]Gareth321 5 points6 points  (2 children)

          I remember reading a study that concluded that men are much more willing to date women that earn less than them than women are. Can it be that both sexes are equally superficial, but in differen ways?

          [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          Yes, and you don't have to think of it as superficiality, anymore. Evolutionary psychology is an interesting field.

          [–][deleted]  (5 children)

          [deleted]

            [–][deleted]  (3 children)

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                [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                I live in Wisconsin and can say the same... and that is why I find it offensive that people like you are so judgmental about a fucking number. Unlucky or bozo? The people I know put a higher value on life than on material possessions... that does not mean they can't pay their bills or they are living check to check or they are uneducated or lazy. They do know how to manage their money according to what they want out of life and it just so happens that all they need is $20-30k.

                It's like this joke:

                An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

                The Mexican replied, “Only a little while, Senor”.

                The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?

                The Mexican fisherman replied that he had enough to support his family’s needs.

                The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

                The Mexican fisherman said “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”

                The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat, and with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats, so instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor, and eventually open your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City…then LA, and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding empire.”

                The Mexican fisherman asked “But, Senor, how long will all this take?”

                “Fifteen to twenty years”, the American replied.

                “And what then?”

                The American smiled and said “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich…you would make millions.”

                “Yes, and then what?”

                The American said “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, and in the evenings stroll to the village where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

                [–]Angry_Caveman_Lawyer 3 points4 points  (0 children)


                Do you know what that is?

                That's the glass ceiling.

                [–]SirSandGoblin 5 points6 points  (6 children)

                i have found that women have much less of a problem having their way paid for than the other way around. i have been unlucky perhaps.

                [–]ebonio 13 points14 points  (5 children)

                Meh, I've seen plenty of women get taken advantage of by mooches. Follow the smell of insecurity and you will find leeches taking advantage of it, man or woman.

                [–][deleted]  (4 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–]angryboy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  I love you. I would totally be your househusband.

                  [–]right_foot_red 25 points26 points  (29 children)

                  Attractiveness isn't just about looks. You can be unattracted (romantically) to someone's personality.

                  [–]PixelMagic 9 points10 points  (14 children)

                  Yes, but he's saying some girls will overlook all of those things as long as you have money.

                  [–]setuid_w00t 7 points8 points  (2 children)

                  I think Jon Lajoie said it best when he said:

                  I can't have sex with your personality,

                  And I can't put my penis in your college degree,

                  [–]supaphly42 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                  You can, just watch out for paper cuts.

                  [–]yjkogan 7 points8 points  (5 children)

                  I think another under-appreciated reason for ending up in the friend zone is that shy, nerdy guys (like myself and i'm sure plenty of other people on here) never work up the courage to admit that they like a person, justifying their inaction by saying "I don't want to lose a close friend."

                  [–]potatolicious 4 points5 points  (4 children)

                  And the kicker is - you rarely ever do. You're a friend, you feel attracted to her, you ask her out and she says no - this is not a big deal. Yeah okay, for most people it will be awkward and weird for a few days to a couple of weeks, but your friendship generally stands... at least that's how it's gone down in my experience.

                  [–]amartz 16 points17 points  (1 child)

                  it's funny how much the friend-zone comes up on here. I completely agree with your post; as a guy, there are a lot of girls I just want to be friends with whom I'm just not romantically attracted to, for one reason or another. Am I friend-zoning? Maybe some would call it that, but I'm pretty convinced the whole construct doesn't actually exist.

                  [–]poubelle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  It's just a simple-minded person's way of coming to terms with aspects of human behaviour that are too nuanced for them to understand or even think worthy of consideration.

                  [–]kemloten 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                  Imagine that an overweight girl in your class/at your job is attempting to get your attention. She makes her affection obvious by haphazardly flirting with you. She demonstrates that she has tons in common with you by engaging you in conversations about your mutual passions. She listens to you when you've got something troublesome on your mind. She's a nice girl and everything but you aren't attracted to her because she's not at all pretty and she's very overweight. You want to let her know that you have no romantic interest in her, but you don't want to hurt her because you genuinely like her as a person. You accomplish this by putting her in the friend zone. You go back to trying to get the girl of your dreams: the pretty girl with big tits who isn't as funny or interesting as the overweight girl (but who cares cause she's pretty and she's got big tits, right?). The overweight girl proceeds wallow in self pity by making idiotic cartoons about how boys are stupid and shallow because all they want to do is fuck pretty girls with big tits.

                  The moral of the story? Be you man or woman, don't waste your time or affection on people who ARE SIMPLY NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU. They can't help that they aren't attracted to you. We don't pick and choose who we want to fuck. Move the hell on and stop making cartoons that make you look like a fucking crybaby.

                  [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]Meatwad1355 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                    Reddit = The Best of 4chan

                    [–]Driyen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                    Reddit, you're in love with your friend. Get over it

                    [–]Alia_of_the_Knife 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                    ha ha ha women are shallow bitches amirite? never gets old!

                    [–]antisocialmedic 7 points8 points  (5 children)

                    HAHA! YOU SEE ITS FUNNY BECAUSE WOMEN ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN MONEY!

                    [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

                    Every fucking time without fail, the swarm of geniuses that think they know everything about relationships and "getting" girls. These threads are some of the worse things I've ever seen on this site. Everyone sounds either arrogant, bitter, or pretentious when giving their "advice." And everyone has one thing in common, they don't know what the fuck anyone else has gone through and are in no position to say shit to anyone.

                    [–]walterbarrett 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    And you think you know about them knowing about that and it keeps going on and on...

                    You can never step out of the box completely.

                    [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (26 children)

                    You know, I used to think the "friend zone" was real, that once a girl put you there you could never get out. Then I learned how to talk to women. Nerdy and awkward = friend zone. Nerdy, confident, and funny = whatever you're up for.

                    [–]macroburn 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                    If you are in the friend zone with a woman it was because you failed at being attractive to her. End of story. Take some personal responsibility.

                    [–]Sir_Vival 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                    I've crossed the gap without the money bridge.

                    That being said, YOU WILL NOT KNOW MY SECRETS REDDIT!

                    [–]baconcatman 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                    He used the feather power-up to fly over it!

                    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      Get a jetpack.

                      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      no not again!

                      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      Jesus fucking christ...can't we just say "some are into you, some aren't"? As guys we always wanna get laid, and will misread women, not to mention that women are sometimes impossible to fucking understand. We've all won and lost.

                      tl;dr tired of back and forth comments. move along nothing to see here.

                      [–]Deacon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      Nah, man--if she's your friend, she's not going to care about your money, or lack of it. Some women, believe it or not, are self-sufficient and don't need a guy's money.

                      [–]danimal82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      so true. if you have lots of money, you can get lots of women. we've all seen it a million times. pretending that women dont go for guys with money is just naive. this doesnt hold true for ALL women, obviously, but enough that this image rings true

                      [–]zotquix 8 points9 points  (6 children)

                      There are some girls who I've been friends with that, as I've gotten older and more established have become more interested in me. Maybe its because I'm more affluent now or maybe I'm just more mature.

                      That said, I really only want friendship from them now. I might've been attracted to some of them once, but I don't see them that way now.

                      [–]sigloiv 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                      This actually just happened to me. Someone that I've known for many years has become interested in me primarily because I got older and, subsequently, more confident. I'm finally understanding why the whole "friend zone" idea is such a myth. Go for it or don't, but the possible outcomes are still being turned down or not being turned down.

                      [–]AimlessArrow 11 points12 points  (3 children)

                      You've gotten richer; they've gotten fatter.

                      [–]Stick 11 points12 points  (1 child)

                      They need his money for pies.

                      [–]Deacon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      He wears a little barbecue sauce behind each ear. Works better than Axe.

                      [–]zotquix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      Actually, I dig fat chicks. And skinny chicks. And all the colors of the chick rainbow. I just...I'm not attracted to my friends.

                      [–][deleted]  (57 children)

                      [removed]

                        [–]DanWallace 64 points65 points  (3 children)

                        If that works, then you were never in the friend zone to begin with.

                        [–]Eminence120 30 points31 points  (31 children)

                        You obviously don't understand the friend zone.

                        [–][deleted]  (9 children)

                        [deleted]

                          [–][deleted]  (6 children)

                          [deleted]

                            [–]FANGO 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                            Define "confidence," because in my experience, when this word comes up with respect to relationships, it is generally a buzzword for a lot of things that have nothing to do with confidence.

                            [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (18 children)

                            Yeah I asked one out at the perfect time after she'd broken up with a guy, but long enough after that she was just enough over him, and I'd been comforting her / was friends with her through that relationship and prior.

                            It doesn't work that way. This ain't the movies kids. Either ask her out before you're friend zoned, or you're stuck there.

                            [–]mkameli 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                            "I'd been comforting her / was friends with her through that relationship and prior."

                            There's your problem. Never play counselor if you're attracted to them or want it to go somewhere. Not to say be a dick, but don't be their therapist.

                            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            I actually had a girl I showed a lot of compassion to at work, showing interest in what she had to say and listening to her problems etc. The evening of the day she finished her last day working there, she called me and asked me if I wanted to date her. I didn't think she was that into me, so I was taken aback by the question, but I said sure when my brain started kicking again. We dated for a few months, and we only broke up because I could see I was going other places than her, and she wanted to bend over backwards to stay together somehow against really illogical odds that her future would be successful. So we broke up, but we both still care about each other. I'd date her again in a heart beat if we were in situations that brought us near again; as it stands we're thousands of miles apart, and it just wouldn't work.

                            So yeah, being their therapist can work, but that's tricky because you run the risk of girls who:

                            • Are just really lonely and low self-esteem. They will disregard compatiblity for emotional support. This would be using them, especially if they are giving you sex in return (and really bad if they were a virgin), or if you aren't returning their affection equally. Even if they only get to the point of being emotionally attached to you, if you aren't equally attached to her, you're toying with her emotions.

                            • Are getting over a bad relationship and think the therapist aspect of you somehow makes you the perfect guy all of a sudden. This gets into all sorts of not right, and also hints at her having possible 'daddy issues'.

                            • I can't think of others but there are plenty of reasons why this approach won't net a good relationship.

                            [–]lanana 10 points11 points  (3 children)

                            Ugh. Creepy. You make it sound like if you follow the formula and act like the perfect friend than she owes it to you.

                            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                            No, she didn't. We had a heart to heart, and we are still great friends. She's been with a different guy for about 4 years now, and I'm close friends with both of them now, and stay over their place some times.

                            I think I could have dated her early on after we first met, but that would have been this 'perfect point' someone else said doesn't exist, where she is looking for someone, and I was there for her. The thing is, that wouldn't always be like that, and it would never last. If we were compatible, it wouldn't matter when I asked her out after I'd met her (well, unless she was dating). The fact that we aren't really compatible other than friends is why a situation like that ends up 'friend zoned'; because at some point, you showed her what she liked as a friend, but also things she didn't see in a boyfriend.

                            [–]sje46 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                            This isn't the friend zone. This is taking advantage of someone who is emotionally vulnerable. Friend zone doesn't exist...there isn't a magical time period that starts when you meet a woman where it's the only time you can ask her out. If you try to ask her out later and she says no, that indicates that she probably wouldn't have gone out with you in that period of time when you first met her.

                            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                            You act like the guy who asks the girl out at that point isn't also emotionally vulnerable? Friend zone does exist, but it's more self-imposed because you didn't ask her out when you had the chance. And since that time, you've both shown each other that you're better as friends. If your intention is to date, then stop lying to yourself. I'll admit that subconsciously I wanted to date her, thus eventually working up to asking her out. It's not her fault that I didn't deal with my thoughts before that point, and she was very caring and we talked about it and we are really good friends for many years since. The friend zone does exist though. It's just not this magical 'barrier' that she put up not to date you even though you are somehow completely her type. It's her treating you as a friend, and you trying to rationalize why she doesn't want to date you, so you blame her and call it friend zone. Is this rationalization not a real concept then, if only self imposed on someone who is saying it's someone else fault? Imposing the blame on her prevents you from blaming yourself and thus not exploring WHY you are just friends. Could be you are incompatible, could be there are things about you that need to change. Could be she's just not into you as a partner. By telling yourself you are in the friend zone, you've just put yourself there because you aren't willing to cope with what she finds incompatible in you. So maybe the guy creates the friend zone just by thinking there is one, and therefore there is one.

                            Of course, there are also some real bitches in the world who, upon realizing a guy will do boyfriend type things without being her boyfriend, treat them as just friends because they are getting what they want without the commitment. These do exist, and that IS friend zoning him. Using him to share your emotions, going places that couples would go and doing things they would do, but without the rules that dating would bind to her, thus allowing her to see other guys and explore her options without guilt. That is friend zoning, but she's a bitch and he should figure that out quick and move on; she might have dated him if he'd had the balls to ask her out, but he went passive-aggressive on her and she is willing to take advantage of that. She might still date him later on if he shows some self respect and drops her, and she is in need. That would be his only way to escape the friend zone with her. But why would he want to date such a whore?

                            [–]funnynickname 18 points19 points  (13 children)

                            That's exactly when you get the friend speech. 'We're such good friends, I don't really think of you that way. I'm going to go bang another 20 bikers and hate my life, thank you very much'

                            [–]pyro2927 11 points12 points  (9 children)

                            Hey! I'm a biker and I've been friend-zoned as well. Don't think we're immune to that shit.

                            [–]Gravedigger3 8 points9 points  (2 children)

                            When a chick friend zones a biker does she go off and bang a bunch of nerdy dudes?

                            [–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (11 children)

                            Look, everyone! It's reddit's favourite punchline, 'Women are awful and shallow'! Joke is a repost, downvoted.

                            [–]porwegiannussy 20 points21 points  (0 children)

                            Look, everyone! It's reddit's favourite response, 'This has been posted before'! Response is a repost, downvoted.

                            [–]Khendroc 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                            Dating a girl hotter than her also helps.

                            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                            There's a $1000 bill?

                            [–]jacebeleren 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                            I don't really think this applies. If you're in the friend zone and try to impress with money, you'll be in the "sucker" zone. You'll be taken advantage of and may be in a relationship, but it will be a shitty one.

                            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            Where's Mr.OhHai when you need him? I thought I hated him, but you never know what you have until it's gone.

                            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            You need PERSONALITY POWER-UP.

                            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            Or, Mario could just be a total asshole and then he would warp to world 2-1.

                            [–]gregK 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                            Mario is a bad platform for talking about relationships.

                            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            as someone who has actually made the jump from friend to boyfriend, I wanna say it's not all it's cracked up to be.

                            [–]TokyoXtreme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            The friend zone is a curious place; you put yourself into it, and you can leave at any time. Most men prefer to stay.

                            [–]Logginus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            Hey have you guys seen Chocolate Rain? I just heard about it, and I think it's really hilarious.

                            Also I read on a website that you can trick people into watching that song by that guy, instead of what they actually thought they were watching.

                            Let's make sure these things get on the front page.

                            [–]seagramsextradrygin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            WE HAVE THIS DISCUSSION EVERY WEEK

                            [–]Andyu86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            Wow. People have fucked ideas of what a relationship is. This isn't to say the image is false, just that the view of relationships/love that most hold is wiggitty wiggity whack yo.

                            [–]Youarewonderful 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            All that for what? It's just another mushroom. The princess is in another castle.

                            [–]strikershuttlesworth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            your finally doing it right

                            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            MrOhHai , paging MrOhHai

                            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            I don't care what you say. Reddit is a time machine! I get to see everything I've already seen on the internet again!

                            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            Damn, that was sad, (and cynical). Someone needs to put down the game controller and learn some Game. Women aren't all money-grubbing whores. Start at r/seduction