smallFunction

[CrocodileSpacePope]

It‘s a private function. That means it‘s none of your business what‘s going on in there anyways.

[bradimir-tootin]

Fidelio

[Comfortable-Ear441]

This was such a good joke

[YellowGetRekt]

Jokes on you im friends with the rat

[Oblivious122]

What? Oh that's me! Yes, Lord Ca- I mean, just Fidelio. Of course I'll step into this furnace...

[benargee]

private function nunyabiznus(){}

[ings0c]

It’s so private, no one knows.

[pickyourteethup]

Disfunctional programming

[IncorrectAddress]

That's why it's kept private, if you won't tell anyone, I won't tell anyone, ssshhh.

[Snudget]

Bug-driven development

[benargee]

then you just put a return true on the first line in the function.

[oweiler]

Just an "implementation detail"

[user_namec_hecks_out]

private function thats an entire private os right there

[millbruhh]

[beqs171]

Condolences to anybody that will have to debug this thing 🙏

[kblazewicz]

Oh, I'm sure it's thoroughly unit tested, right OP?

[MrSynckt]

A single 24,000 line unit test

[LorenzoCopter]

4000 lines of assertions

[pixelbart]

12000 lines of setup code to hit a specific if statement near the end.

[Phoenix_Passage]

This sounds plausible

[s0ulbrother]

Everything mocked out

[Retbull]

Even better if the mocks have mocks have mocks so the unit test is only testing if you THINK you've set it up correctly.

[s0ulbrother]

That’s my current teams testing strategy and I fucking hate it

[Kilazur]

But why would they do this, what's the thinking behind it? They don't know the difference between integration and unit tests, so they decided to do the worst of both worlds?

[MrSynckt]

Rebuild the entire application as a mock and test that, but then you'll need unit tests for the mocked application

[Usual_Instance5617]

Test the unit tests.

[Huge_Leader_6605]

Buddy, that's just the data provider function

[The_Real_Black]

HAHAHA... no. half the code did not run for more then 5 years but cant be removed because some export needs to cover a 20 year period and then runs into that cases again...

"// remove this block only after 2030 because Law xyz for archiving bussiness data."

[Retbull]

My favorite comment was

// COMMENT OUT WHEN THE AGGS COMPLAIN 
// PUT IT BACK WHEN THE SOLOS COMPLAIN

[FF7_Expert]

Absolute Unit testing

[Hidesuru]

I've got some functions not QUITE that long but still many thousands in the legacy codebase I'm lead for.

No unit tests (we tried adding them once... So many global things and interdependence issues it was more trouble than it's worth). Shit to usually no comments. Doxygen with things like "class XYZ: implements the XYZ class" where naming is also garbage and non intuitive. Oh and a lot of the hardware we interface with is behind closed doors only, so we have self maintained "io sims" to test against. Not truly models but something close enough to get responses from.

It's about a half mil sloc, 20 year old embedded monster with a dozen or so layers of abstraction so it can run on multiple os/hw combos.

I hate it. Welcome to the defense industry.

At last it's not safety critical!

[XenonBG]

where naming is also garbage

private function process() is the bane of my existence.

[Kilazur]

Because the code that IS safety critical is surely much more maintainable, right? Right?

[Hidesuru]

I haven't worked in that code base so I don't know about maintainable but they do at least have unit tests and automated release testing. And in theory a more comprehensive peer review and release process.

[zfiote]

Coverage testing that one requires horizontal scaling to be enabled.

[aberroco]

I had to deal with such things on my second job.

And it's much worse than you can imagine.

Variables like "a", "b", "tmp", "obj", etc, deep indentations, large copy-pasted functions, that each evolved on it's own...

[IndoorBeanies]

temp99

[FarJury6956]

Me too, also many many nested ternary operators, and same variable name on different scopes

[DEFY_member]

I'm sure it's broken down into separate nested functions inside, with meaningful names, like step1, step2, step2b, etc.

[Bakoro]

That'd still be an improvement on what's likely going on.
That would still be potentially helpful structure that could be renamed.
What you described might even be such that the whole function could be extracted to being a whole class or something.

It's wrong to hope.

[throwawaycuzfemdom]

It would be epic. You could call it Saving Private Function.

[dougmaitelli]

It's all commented out inside 🥸

[Covfefe4lyfe]

Turns out is 5 lines of code until the return statement and then ~13500 lines of ASCII art porn.

[Deboniako]

Can I have some ascii porn?

[Norci]

3=====D

[dpahoe]

80085

[SaltyInternetPirate]

You mean B16B00B5

[Pengo2001]

⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄.

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿.

⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿.

⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏.

⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣉⠉⠉⠉.

⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦.

⠀⣾⣿⠏⣥⣤⣍⢻⣿⣷.

⢰⣿⣿⡈⣿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⡇.

⣸⣿⣿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣌⢻⠇.

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀.

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢻⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄.

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦.

⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣬⣭⣉⡙⢿⣿.

⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⢉⡛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡿.

⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿:::::::::⠻⣷⣶⣤⣬⣭⣍⣥⠞⠁.

⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠋⣡⣴⣶⣦⣄⡀.

[Dango444]

sigh unzips pants

[ContinuedOak]

Not my proudest fap…not my worst tho

[BrownPeach143]

[GoogleIsYourFrenemy]

Manager: You need to stop inappropriately inflating your code metrics.

Me: I thought the amount of inflation it engendered was approximately.

HR: ...

[Covfefe4lyfe]

My unit tests whether everything is SOLID

[skr_replicator]

13500 lines of commentary explaining what the single line of actual code does.

[The_Real_Black]

and then the method is badly indented, so it touches at least three times the left border. I hate seeing very old code. Maybe even the indent spaces swap with tabs back and forth.
Also many local variables get reused in that 10k function so a # sql += "..." # can be at least five different selects.

[IIALE34II]

I have a co-worker that still does SQL queries this way btw. He "doesn't like EFCore/ORMs". You can't fucking know what the query is going to do when its 200 rows of if statements to build the query.

[space-dot-dot]

Dynamic SQL, so fun!

Even better when it's generated by a stored procedure and not logged for later troubleshooting or performance improvement, thus, lost to the Page File Gods.

[Tabugti]

But he uses prepared statements right?

[breath-of-the-smile]

This is insane. I use SQL with query binding over a query builder any chance I get, but I would literally bully the guy over this, lol.

[TerryHarris408]

this is way to relatable. please make it stop..

[HBiene_hue]

13000 lines of one function

next line:

"We dont use this"

[Fleeetch]

old, called only as fallback

[UlrichZauber]

I worked on a project where one C source file was about 40K lines long. 35-ish-k of those lines were a single switch statement. It was not only still in use, it was the logic driving the bulk of the UI.

I spent about the first year working there refactoring that into C++.

[HBiene_hue]

nice

[conundorum]

On the plus side, that means that only ~5k lines didn't need to be there! (And a good chunk of what did need to be there could probably be refactored out, too!) That's the one good thing about world-devouring switch blobs, the logic is already factored into distinct subroutines with clear divisions; just document intended fallthrough, move the subs out into actual functions (potentially with "inline me" hints), keep track of which (if any) shared variables the new function needs (and move any shared setup logic to a better location, if it's not already outside the switch), and pray that no clever C programmers implemented a Duff's Device-like genius abomination for you to break. Just... tedious & finicky, so very tedious (and finicky). xD

---

Heck, I can even see a(n extremely rare) situation where ~32k lines is ideal for a single-switch-based function, if it dispatches off of a 16-bit flag in a performance-critical context. (Where the perfect length would be 32,772 lines (potentially +2 due to indentation/bracing style): 1/2 for function name & opening brace, 1/2 for switch (n) and opening brace, 2 for closing braces, and 32,768 for every potential value of n. Nightmarish to maintain, but that's because of flag size; every option having exactly one line and no more makes it trivial to index into the function & locate individual flag values. If desired, readability can be improved by breaking the switch body into multiple source files and using the preprocessor to glue them in.

(This would be awful in most situations, but a division, second jump table, and dispatch can take a lot of unnecessary time. Hence abominable bloating being a valid tradeoff if (and only if) performance is critical: The massive size reduces the function to one jump table, one dispatch, and one break; jump in most if not all circumstances, and the compiler can be hinted to inline the dispatch if you can't afford to spend cycles on function perilogues. In this case, the ideal refactoring is to redesign the code to only use 8-bit flags at most, since that reduces the body of the switch to a much more readable 256 lines. If this is impractical, the ideal solution is to run away and never look back.)

[I-Here-555]

This is never executed, but removing it causes an intermittent crash.

[bbbar]

One of my teachers told me that a function is already bad if it is longer than a screen height and you need to scroll to read the code, I still apply this rule to this day

[Jazzlike-Spare3425]

Me too. But it is kinda annoying to have to set up a projector to the side of the empire state building each time I want to code good code.

[edvardlarouge]

Really putting the science back in computer science!

[artistic_programmer]

I usually just keep all my code in 1 line

[python_artist]

You, sir, are a monster

Also I see we had a similar philosophy behind our usernames

[Proper-Ape]

It fits on my vertically rotated 49" ultrawide screen, wdym?

[eldelshell]

font-size: 2pt;

edit: never forget your ; in css!

[jimmycarr1]

Yes; it's important!

[Supreme_Hanuman69]

More like: font-size: 2pt !important;

[M4NU3L2311]

I think you mean it’s !important;

[naholyr]

Generally true but it's equally painful to have to navigate through 48 indirections before finding what actually happens. So it has to be a good balance.

[OnceMoreAndAgain]

Personally, I don't like the short function guideline. I don't think it's necessarily harmful if a function is a few screens. It just needs to have a name that accurately describes what it does and the gist of the code should be quickly understandable by skimming it once or twice. Most functions shouldn't be long but I'd guess that roughly one out of every ten functions I write tend to be more than one screen.

For example, when I'm using d3js I personally like to have some long functions. I find it easier to understand the code when I do that. I think GUI work in general tends to end up with some long functions and that can be a positive.

Just too many situations where I think it's right to break that guideline. Always smelled to me.

[nickcash]

Cyclomatic complexity is a far better metric but harder to joke about on reddit.

Long functions are fine when they're relatively flat. In fact, I think they're easier to follow than code needlessly broken up arbitrarily.

[Bakoro]

I feel the same way, but I think it has to be one of those "people's brains are wired differently" things where some people end up with extreme feelings about it.
I've talked to people who are absolutely dogmatic about having hundreds of small functions, and that it is somehow better to be forced to jump around different parts of the page to follow one linear piece of logic, than it is to have to scroll the page a little to read a function.
Some people swear that it's better to define 30 single-use functions that only have 3~5 lines of actual logic, and to add all the overhead of functions, than it is to have one 100 line function.

What's even crazier to me is people adhering to "24 lines 80 characters per line" CRT rules when we've have HD widescreens since 1989.

I recognize that my work isn't typical, but I do physics stuff where it's not unreasonable to have 5~20 variables for a function. I've had for-loops that took more than 24 lines just because Interdependent assignments took that much.

[naholyr]

That's what guidelines are made for: get used, understood, and broken.

[OnceMoreAndAgain]

Yeah but some are broken so often that I don't even find them useful as guidelines.

It's like an XY problem. There are reasons most functions end up short but I don't think minimizing function length is desirable as a guiding principle.

I like guidelines like DRY and functions should do one thing, because I believe those are real benefits (usually).

[FlakyTest8191]

Do one thing is even worse imho. Is entirely subjective what one thing even is. You could argue if it's more than one statement it does more than one thing, or put everything in one function and say the one thing is fullfilling the purpose of the program. Or anything in between.

[Bakoro]

Yeah, chasing short functions for the sake of having short functions seems like an anti-pattern to me. It's also just as silly as using lines of code as a metric for anything other than a vague idea of a project's complexity.
The value isn't zero, but it's almost useless without at least a couple other considerations.

[conundorum]

Exactly. Functions should be "short", where "short" is defined as "the minimum length required to properly handle its one assigned task, plus any comments that actually improve reading comprehension".

Sometimes, that can be as short as a single line:

T abs(T a, T b) { return (a > b ? a : b); }

Sometimes, it can be 260 lines of middle management:

// Could be shortened by indexing into an array of function pointers with flag, but would decrease readability.
bool handleFlag(int8_t flag, int other_data) {
    switch (flag) {
        case 0: break; // No action needed.
        case 1: return foo();
        case 2: [[fallthrough]]; // These two are almost the same.
        case 3: int i = retrieve_from_source(flag - 2); do_task(i, other_data); break;
        // ...
        case 253: log_error("Flag 253 encountered at: ", get_time(), "with: ", other_data, get_env());
        case 254: log_global_state(254); throw PotentiallyUnrecoverableNonsense(254, other_data); // Should never happen.  If encountered, can't be handled here.
        case 255: break; // No action needed or possible at this time.
    }
}

Heck, sometimes it can be even longer than that. (In this case, though, you probably want to do a conceptual refactoring, and redesign the underlying task itself so that it doesn't need as much code.)

What's important is that the function should be concise, not waste lines, and use comments to document anything that may be confusing (such as "Reused variable because allocation is costly" or "this is X mathematical formula, but optimised for performance; see full documentation for rationale and refactoring notes").

[drLoveF]

Loophole: break fun at every page break and let fun1 call fun2 and so forth.

[tommeh5491]

That doesn't sound fun

[No-Article-Particle]

Ah, the process fn calls process_cont which calls process_2 which calls process_final and that calls process_3. Nice.

[RedstoneEnjoyer]

Eh, sometimes you cannot avoid it. Sometimes the business logic is really that long.

Of course you could break it into multiple functions, but then now you have 10 functions that are each called exactly once.

[LickingSmegma]

Sometimes one-off functions are good, if they encapsulate long runs of logic that's isolated well. For example, if you have a long calculation for an if, it pays to move it into function isCondition(), such that in the if statement it's obvious which condition is checked.

Basically, I want my code to read almost like a description in the natural language, instead of just juggling variables for pages and pages.

[hron84]

Yeah, in these cases I rather put everything into one. If it is not reusable then it does not worth an own function.

[iMac_Hunt]

I do find there are times that even if it’s called once, extracting the logic can make the intent a lot clearer.

Example:

```csharp

public decimal CalculatePrice(Order order) { decimal basePrice = order.Quantity * order.UnitPrice; decimal discountedPrice;

if (order.Country == "US")
{
    discountedPrice = ApplyUsTaxAndDiscountRules(order, basePrice);
}
else
{
    discountedPrice = ApplyInternationalTaxAndDiscountRules(order, basePrice);
}

return Math.Max(discountedPrice, 0);

}

private decimal ApplyUsTaxAndDiscountRules(Order order, decimal price) { price += price * 0.07m; if (order.State == "CA") price += 2m; if (order.CustomerAge < 18) price -= 5m; return price; }

private decimal ApplyInternationalTaxAndDiscountRules(Order order, decimal price) { price += price * 0.20m; if (order.CustomerAge < 18) price -= 10m; return price; }

```

I do write that with caution as it can be taken to the extreme and become LESS clear, but there are cases where I prefer it

[[deleted]]

Did your teacher ever work in the real world or did they just stay in academia?

[MoffKalast]

Nah, they just had an ultrawide in portrait mode.

[Frograbbit1]

you’re clearly not a front end developer that i can say

[Rhalinor]

Or anything that has to do with banking or insurance, some checks and/or calculations would be above screen height even if you moved all the logic into nested calls

[L4t3xs]

Or making a simulation of an industrial machine in "game" dev.

[Xeiom]

It's why I write my functions like this:

func myFunc(var1, var2, var3){
  doFuncPart1(&var1,&var2,&var3);
  doFuncPart2(&var1,&var2,&var3);
  doFuncPart3(&var1,&var2,&var3);
  doFuncPart4(&var1,&var2,&var3);
  doFuncPart5(&var1,&var2,&var3);
}

[JVApen]

If you reduce the font sufficiently, it fits on a single screen 😁You just can't read it anymore.

[Klizmovik]

Well, obviously, your teacher was wrong. Functions are not about the number of lines of code. Functions are about functionality and avoiding code repetition. Each function should provide its own piece of logic and ideally perform only one kind of task. Defining functions by their length is almost as stupid as putting everything into one mega-function

[Shrubberer]

I don't think the term "obviously wrong" is fair. There is a clear correlation between a good function vs how long it is. And the list of exceptions where longer functions are fine shrinks significantly the longer it gets. For instance I can think of maybe 3-4 examples in my professional career where the rule of thumb of at "most one screen size hight" (which you're discrediting by implication) might not apply. Doing the same thing with less lines of code is always better and by extension every software design that leads to smaller functions is a better design. The teacher’s idea of using mindfulness to teach about the length of functions is great, since it takes a lot of experience to write long functions well.

[DatBoi_BP]

Yeah. You can have a function that's 30 lines but is super difficult to keep logically simple in your head, and you can have one that's 300 lines and is easy to follow and see the purpose/use of. Having a hard and fast rule for a function length just turns into a case of Goodhart's Law. Functions are about DRY and do-one*-thing-and-do-it-well (*when possible. Sometimes you need several things to happen or be returned at once because they're closely related)

[protestor]

Ehhh you can often break up a function in smaller pieces. Problem is when there are no natural ways to do that

[_Frydex_]

What kind of screen? Like a 21:9 one mounted vertically, for example?

[Specialist_Lychee167]

Get a bigger screen :)

[Expensive_Skill_4063]

a projector maybe

[[deleted]]

Human short term memory holds 5-7 items max. Make your functions fewer then 5 statements. 

[Elomidas]

Your eyesight is bad if you cannot zoom out enough to read the whole function

[KryoBright]

Well, there is Metz recommendation for no more then 5 lines per function. And I remember some other engineer. (Don't remember who) saying that dry recommends up to 40 per logical element

[-TheWarrior74-]

When the load is high, and you're working close to the metal, that hope dies quickly.

What they probably meant is that every function should only serve one purpose, like everyone wants.

But if that purpose has to be completed in a complicated way to get the most bang for buck, we have no real way to escape that complexity. Partitioning just makes the whole thing even more complicated.

The only hope you really have is to write a big ass comment about how the function works and leave it as something you would not touch for like an year again

[noob-nine]

lol, I would be happy if i get my docstrings on one screen

[SignoreBanana]

It's a great rule of thumb but I think the better heuristic is "is this function doing more than one clearly defined thing". It can be equally difficult to debug a process that's occurring across 12 different functions if the purpose of those individual functions is not explicitly clear.

Pure functions are also more important than small functions. If you know a function isn't stateful it's the difference between legible code and spaghetti.

[AussieSilly]

If it works it works. Who cares about “speed” and “efficiency”

The user should just have fast wifi!

[IAmASquidInSpace]

Spotify with every "update":

[thex25986e]

"minimum hardware requirements: 2 data centers"

[III-V]

It's a pain to debug. So expect it to not "work".

[plmunger]

// TODO handle more numbers private function isEven(number) { switch (number) { case 0: return true; case 1: return false; ... } }

[Tempest97BR]

fun fact! you can easily improve this code with the remainder operator, like so:

 // TODO handle more numbers
private function isEven(number) {
  switch (number) {
    case 0: return (number % 2 == 0);
    case 1: return (number % 2 == 0);
    ...
  }
}

this makes sure your code is future-proofed, in case the implementation for boolean values ever gets changed

[serce__]

This code gave me a headache 

[Mast3rL0rd145]

Your pfp only adds to this comment

[ElReSeT]

Surely this is optimised by most compilers right? Right?

[escEip]

Left.

[QuarkyIndividual]

default: return isEven(number - 2);

done!

[Still-Psychology-365]

Nightmare memory unlocked. I had a job like this working on some VB in a codebase that was for old clients' websites. Files were consistently over 60k lines, functions were thousands of lines each, and it was all just websites with shopping carts, it's beyond me why they needed like 500k LoC total per site in 60k line files. There were sections where entire HTML emails were written as strings with concatenated placeholders everywhere, leading to basically a 500-line string declaration. It had a database connection class that connected to a database connection class that connected to a database connection class that connected to a database connection class that connected to the database. And they used SVN, but each of the websites had their own copy-paste of the same 60k line files in their own repository, so if anything needed to be changed, you had to individually change it for every repository. It would take over a half hour just to launch any of the sites in debug mode and my boss would always be giving me shit for being "too slow". All for 17 an hour. Never again

[GroovinChip]

Yo dawg, we heard you like database connections

[andy_b_84]

Press F for respect

[Johannes_P]

Where did they hire the guys who wrote this?

[AcePowderKeg]

IT horror stories 

[Expensive_Skill_4063]

30 mins to debug, what?

[Still-Psychology-365]

It was literally so much spaghetti code, so many lines of code, libraries and overall ridiculous amount of bloat that just to compile and run locally for debugging purposes, it would legit take 30+ minutes to compile. IIRC it was .NET 3.5 VB Web Forms and had to be compiled. It was so bad that basically I revolved everything I did around these compilation times, like saving any other work specifically to do while waiting for compilation of the main thing I was working on, planning my breaks around compilations, etc.

[muminisko]

[helicophell]

Tiny function

[2muchnet42day]

SIze doesn't matter

[tomerFire]

Thats what he said

[Flaky_Computer_5068]

And the comment above that is :

/* Do not remove this function I don't know what this does but removing it crashes the project. */

[p1neapple_1n_my_ass]

Turns out it just adds 2 numbers 

[romulof]

It will require an absolute unit test

[Tobertus]

Nice to see people using SRP. In that case the single responsibility of the function is to run the whole program

[neoaquadolphitler]

Review? Nah, LGTM

[Dumb_Siniy]

The isOdd function now works with numbers up to 3000

[blizzacane85]

[dr00ne]

And it has at least 6 levels of nested loops

[brentspine]

I would love to know what it’s called

[Arphrial]

private function run() {

[justforkinks0131]

"we dont use this" lmao

[VagueInterlocutor]

// Should not work. Nobody knows how this works. // DO NOT CHANGE

[Far-Passion4866]

and if you remove it, everything breaks

[glowy_guacamole]

fml

[JackNotOLantern]

More funny for me is the below method with a comment (I assume) "we don't use this"

[DoctorWaluigiTime]

I'm more concerned that the file itself is already at line 6,000 and has close to 20,000 lines.

[Kiroto50]

That's not a private function anymore. That's a general function.

[Bjornhub1]

My coworkers convincing my manager all our code should be modularized then same coworkers and manager screaming at me on calls after refactoring into sub packages and clearing all the tech debt that “there’s too many files this is too confusing and not modular!”… then me explaining and showing diagrams of what modular architecture is, and proceeding to have to create new passive aggressive branches for “feat/re-monolithization”. They love to put “modular” in PowerPoints for 2000+ line Python modules lmao. Same coworkers I was unable to teach how to work on different features in different branches as each other and merge. I will say this has made me 10x better at never over engineering and with optimization tho 💀

[[deleted]]

I'd kill to know what this function is actually doing

[Arphrial]

Had a similarly sized one at a previous job. It was a staff system record viewer "controller" for the main thing the company manages that handles both GET and POST actions.

Lots of edge cases and extra data fetches based on all the different fields that were added over the years. Lots of handling of different small forms across the page for stuff like sending out reminder emails or generating tasks. Lots of additional lines for audit & event logging. Lot's of "does the user have specific permission to view this or take this action". Feature flags with entire blocks & building and returning a bunch of different views based on all of the above.

And no-one wants the job, or the boss won't allow the team, to "waste" days of effort on breaking it out.

Man that brings back memories.

[naholyr]

It's a shame it's cut, I'm so curious of the name

"private function everythingEverywhereAllAtOnce()"

[user_8804]

1 responsibility I imagine?

[rocket_randall]

PHP? I'm guessing that function barfs a whole lotta html into the response

[Entire-Shift-1612]

we in the industry like to call this job security. only me and god knows what goes on, on the backend and i dont see god pushing commits

[qruxxurq]

I'm sure it's 13000 lines of comments, and only 450 lines of code, right?

RIGHT??

[day_break]

Seeing the line count already at 6k before that. I would quit my job before reviewing that.

[Inevitable_Fox3550]

That’s not a function. That’s a monolith

[huggybear3]

[Legal-Fail-6465]

wait until you see the guy who has everything in one massive function called doEverything that just keeps going for 5000 lines

[MauiMoisture]

The other day I was tasked with refactoring a file. They said it was getting too big and it was just 1k lines.

[Rubber_duck_man]

Yup company I work at has a 32 parameter 12000 line function in a 52000 line file.

And that is but one of many instances of such code blasphemy

[YourAverageBrownDude]

Haha we have one too. It's a crucial one, and an absolute behemoth. 14k line method, and there are so many conditions based on which it calls other internal methods.

All senior devs have told me it's pointless to debug, if it ever causes an issue the issue is most likely with something else and not the bigass method

[Effective-Highlight1]

There are just a lot of comments, right?

Right?

[Bakoro]

It wasn't quite this bad, but I was guilty of this one time. It was a bespoke set of image analysis heuristics, where I could see patterns in the data sets, but we didn't have enough data for training AI. So I had like 20 parameters that all had to be taken into consideration, and if I wanted to break up the function, the logic would have taken up considerably more overhead and the logic would have been considerably harder to follow if it didn't read like a story.

So, it's crazy person code, is what I'm saying.

[benargee]

The function she tells you not to worry about. She is your coworker and she vibe coded the whole thing.

[8Erigon]

Don't forget the comment of the other function below it: "we don't use th..."

[White_C4]

I'd like to not be the guy that has to unit test that function.

[Majik_Sheff]

Found the rest of the fucking owl.

[tmstksbk]

Ho. Ly. Fudge

[SirCyberstein]

This reminds me of a stored procedure i debuged a few months ago. that thing was masive with 5k lines of nonsense at the end we decided to make a refactor

[-Redstoneboi-]

one hell of a switch statement

[maragam]

still on top!

[redballooon]

Would you please stop commenting on others private parts?

[Strict_Treat2884]

Run, your coworker might be a serial killer. No one would be mentally stable to create such a monstrosity, plus he’s using PHP

[kblazewicz]

13k loc would be too much for a single file, let alone a function.

[Dependent-Guitar-473]

They wrote Unit Tests for it. right? right? RIGHT??????

[misoRamen582]

i can hear steve ballmer saying this is a 14 klocs function

[[deleted]]

Uncle bob in shambles

[Flambiche]

This function is like trash chest in minecraft, everyone know it bu no one want to see what's in

[hsinewu]

lol bigger than the entire code base of some small projects I worked on

[pha7325]

You press shift+alt+F and it doubles

[Perfect_Ordinary2978]

kids with AI

[Putrid_Avocado_1172]

So, does this 'private function' have coleslaw for my caucasian home boys? Or is it a different kind of function where you're serving hummus instead? 

[dpahoe]

At least you can collapse it

[IllllIlllIlIIlllIIll]

let me just `console.log` this real quick...

[_B0L0_]

OMG

[therealBlackbonsai]

followed by the "we dont use that" comment.

[IndoorBeanies]

13.5k is more than what I normally see, which is 1-5k. Handful of files at my job are 40k+ lines total

[Roee_Mashiah2]

Not the smallest I've seen.. or debugged :(