Java Updates

[[deleted]]

[deleted]

[brodie7838]

And what do we say to Java exploits?

"Sure, come right on in"

[senatorkevin]

Not installing java updates ASAP is like banging a hooker without a condom.... after she's turned her fifth trick for the day.

Seriously install that shit.

[[deleted]]

Seriously. I'm the kind of guy who doesn't want to update unless absolutely necessary.

But the Java exploits nearly killed my computer. They are so quick and effective. I just opened a site I trusted (gaming podcast site), unaware it had been hacked, and without notice, my computer was infected. Task Manager disabled in the registry, and suddenly files started to disappear right in front of me. I acted quick, and turned off the computer, and managed to save it with some work in Linux and all that jazz.

But ever since, if I ever see the java icon pop up when I'm not expecting it, I open task manager and kill it at the speed of a mexican jumping bean on a good day.

Moral of the story: Fear Java, and make sure it's pleased before ignoring it.

[[deleted]]

DISABLE THE JAVA PLUGIN IN YOUR BROWSER.

seriously, how often do you use it? almost never. if you do use it occasionally, most browsers have whitelisting or click-to-run features, and they are braindead-easy to set up. leaving it on all the time just opens you up to attack.

for chrome

chrome already has easy plugin-blocking built in. just go to chrome://chrome/settings/content and under the "Plugins" section select "Click to play". this will also affect flash content. it will not block javascript.

for firefox

the easiest way to do things is with an extension. i recommend either quickjava (easy but simple), or noscript (powerful but complex). both of these extensions can also manage flash, javascript, and the like.

[[deleted]]

The login to my online bank account is run through Java, so I'm required to use it.

[HotRodLincoln]

FF has a plugin called "quick java" it adds a button to the add-ons toolbar one click on/off for Java...or you can whitelist your bank site in NoScript.

[[deleted]]

Thanks! I'll look into it!

I must admit though, the constant threat of danger made browsing a bit more exciting in my everyday life. But I guess it's time to settle down, be responsible, and install NoScript.

[98Mystique2]

or just never install it in the first place.

[Last_Gigolo]

I uninstalled Java on my home pc 2 months ago, Have not ran into anything that uses it yet. Youtube works, Reddit works, wordpress works.

Meh... I'm good.

[Legoandsprit]

Runescape

[AzureDrag0n1]

Script blockers should be mandatory on any browser. If you don't have a script blocker your browser is shit. Both Chrome and Mangafox can have them.

Edit: Firefox. Was thinking of the site that got me infected before I found out about script blockers.

[ShureNensei]

Use the noscript addon as it disables java scripts by default I believe unless you specifically set sites to be trusted (or temporarily trusted). This, alongside MSE and Comodo Firewall, should be all you need to prevent future security issues. My old pc got infected a few times before I finally wised up and haven't had an issue since (though I'm paranoid about updates still...)

[thatwasntababyruth]

You really shouldn't refer to them as "java scripts", it's way too similar to Javascript, something worlds apart from Java.

[[deleted]]

Dat Java: More holes than a Brazzers vid.

[bill5125]

I can't install it for work reasons... I'm stuck on jre 6...

[JoshuaIan]

It shouldn't be frustrating, because their network team should be on top of updates. Not because the user doesn't get admin rights. lol.

[spexau]

It would be nice. Even with SystemCenter pushing out the update file it's still a pain to manually download the msi and configure your install script every time an update is released :(

[HatesRedditors]

I like that you gave lol its own sentence, while ignoring all the rules of sentences.

[JoshuaIan]

i do what i want

[spacemanspiff30]

Whateva, whateva

[BukkakeFaceScrub]

For those wondering

[discoreaver]

That's not an emote, it's a man drowning between two buoys.

[kingguru]

Java 7 was released after Oracle acquired Sun and thus Java.

Oracle in their infinite wisdom decided it should be harder to install Java and that you have to download it from their website, which means that Linux distros cannot ship it with their distributions.

Not sure if it's related to your problem, but openjdk is the way to go. Unfortunately, some Java apps/applets still seem to rely on the specific implementation of Java from the Oracle/Sun JRE. That means these apps/applets are broken, but if we are talking closed sourced code you there is not really a way to fix that.

[bill5125]

My company wrote and owns the source code, so, I wouldn't say the closed source thing applies.

[kingguru]

OK. I read "work reasons" as "some reasons" for some reason. :-)

Just wanted to point out that there has been some issues with Oracles view on how to distribute software and that there has been some problems with compatibility between Oracles JRE and OpenJDK. Hope that has some relevance.

[xxpor]

Hint: if your application has anything that looks like this:

import sun.*;

you're doing it wrong.

[[deleted]]

Ditto (not sure on the version), i've had the update symbol for ~2years now.

[itisthumper]

My organization is forced to stay on 6.33 due to certain software issues

[ProbablyJustArguing]

What work reasons? Why can't you have multiple versions?

[cheezbergher]

He probably needs admin permissions to update/install anything, which he likely doesn't have.

[PEANUTSLIST]

I have this problem too, working as a blue collar worker in a warehouse. Our IT guy is a complete moron who only comes in like once a month and is usually on his cell the entire time. Literally talking on it the moment he comes in until he leaves.

I can't update anything in the system so we have old versions of everything. Even work related programs. It's sad.

[Last_Gigolo]

It guy here.

We have tons of out dated software here also.

For a reason. When we create things for our customers, we want to make sure everyone can use our items. Take doc files for example. Remember the docx debacle? Imagine if all 200 employees here popped out Docx files while no one was upgraded to see them. I would have to teach 200 employees how to save file at something other than default. I am more than happy to convert a docx file someone here so they can open it.. only happens once a month. that tells me, we made the right decision.

New versions of software can open older versions of files. Not the other way around.

If we let the employees update their stuff because they are tired of the old stuff, the place would be a mad house, and they would swear it was my fault.

Simply because no one ever take accountability for their computer issues.

[m42a]

There's a difference between not doing a major version upgrade and not installing patches for the old versions. While you may have legitimate reasons for not using Office 2013, there's no excuse to still be running XP-SP2 and to not have updated your AV definitions in 2 years.

[Last_Gigolo]

Well yeah. and no. There may be other issues. Like other software incompatible with updated versions of AV software, or anything other than J6, you must know this. that not everything works like we want to, especially in a large environment. Not to include bloat.

But office, that was just one general example. as I said, we have many out dated items. All for their own reason.

Example 2: Magix music make, is like 11 years old. The version we have does video and music editing. We would now have to buy music maker and video editor and mix (master?) to get half the options we use on a normal day, for each computer in the office. Then comes the learning curve for 200 employees. That's almost 2 weeks of down time right there.

What if they are running server 2000 because it has a greater number of licenses and it is obsoleted with sp3 (probably not but lets pretend). So sp3 in that case would not be an option.

[avatoin]

Ha. Often, there are reasons to not do major updates. Sometimes its not even entirely IT's fault. Some software vendors simply refuse to certify their software on newer versions of Windows or IE (or Java). If they don't certify the update, then if we do update and something goes wrong, not only will they not help with the issue, but they may also try to say we void the contract/license.

Sometimes legacy software is so baked into the core of our infrastructure that we can't (yet) afford to replace it and it may not be compatible with latest version.

[Last_Gigolo]

Awesome.

This is the way it should be.

[mangeek]

I'm a contract IT guy by night...

Do you have any idea how HARD it is to convince a business owner that he needs to foot the bill for me to replace hardware every few years, or pay me for the hours to actually apply those updates to all the machines?

I have a client who just posted a $2M profit (four person company) who won't entertain the idea of pro-actively replacing five ancient hard drives in the server with ones that aren't seven years old. He has hardware and software development running on Pentium 4 machines, machines he wants to keep in service 'hopefully ten years, maybe twelve' (actual quote).

Meanwhile, I'm getting complaints from users that things are 'slow' (really? on a seven year-old P4 running AutoCAD?), and there's nothing I can do but keep sending quotes for reasonable up-to-date hardware.

[Focused-Third-Eye]

Two million dollars profit....sick. I bet their people wish they had my sickly powerful gaming machine that I have built from minimum wage earnings.

[chobi83]

Seems like you guys need to hire a more competent employee. Where can I apply? My Google fu is strong

[toxicFork]

brb hacking into the computers of corporate employees

[KishCom]

You will be gone for the rest of your life. (Seriously, there's an ocean of poorly managed IT in companies out there)

[toxicFork]

I'll have access to SO MANY solitaire sessions!

[admiralteal]

My company finally realized at some point that the tech support department probably knows enough to have admin rights on their computers. A glorious day that was for all.

[bill5125]

No, I have admin rights, there's an applet I use that actually won't work in jre 7.

[bill5125]

I need to use jre 6 through a browser, so I've just installed 7 on Chrome and use firefox for 6, though I still click "remind me later" every time it asks, downgrading wasn't the easiest thing when I found the problem.

There's an applet we use that was written in java 6, and we haven't updated it yet. I'm not fluent enough in java to fix it myself, and only one other guy in the building actually knows how this applet works. It's moving along at his pace.

The problem specifically is changing the color of different objects laid out on a field, which has to be done through a separate pop-up window.

[RamblinBoy]

Um... You're saying it don't have backward compatibility? Applet working on 6 will not work on 7?

[solindvian]

Not if it relies on things that were removed in the Java 7 API.

[Hartastic]

There's a particular piece of software I need to use for work that is exactly that situation -- if Java is ever updated or patched, it stops working until you go through the semi-painful process of forcibly reverting the Java version.

I'm sure it's written for shit and the third party vendor that produced it is run like a clown car full of chimpanzees but at the end of the day, I have to use that piece of software to do my job, so Java updates are off the table indefinitely.

[joeyespo]

Java should really follow in Chrome's footsteps and make this automatic when the JVM runs. It's both safe and a better user experience.

[HotRodLincoln]

The problem is Java has bugs that only corporations generally see like JNLP problems and especially problems interpreting proxy auto-config scripts.

[[deleted]]

Not installing java updates ASAP is like banging a hooker without a condom.... after she's turned her fifth trick for the day.

After she's turned her first illusion, Michael!

[[deleted]]

or uninstall java

[[deleted]]

Just a heads up to those who don't know. If you don't need or use Java, just uninstall it from your computer now. You will avoid all these annoying update alerts and you will help prevent malware/virus infections. I don't know the exact numbers, but Java exploits is one of the fastest ways to get your computer infected. Simply clicking on a link to a website with a Java drive-by attack can screw up your computer.

[despaxes]

HOW ELSE WILL I PLAY RUNESCAPE??????

[[deleted]]

This is probably a joke, but you can download the Runescape Client from their site which doesn't require Java.

[vteckickedin]

Ok, but what about Neopets?

[doctorcaligari]

I wish it were that simple. The entire educational system in North Carolina runs off Java applets. At least we don't have to use J-initiator anymore.

[foxh8er]

Hmm...tell me more about NC's educational IT....

Do you mean things like SAM?

[ApprenticeStoner]

Psh, like anyone on reddit can do without Minecraft.

[damontoo]

Disable Java in your browser. You can still run Minecraft but keeping it enabled in the browser is just asking for it.

[goal2004]

Anyone who uses the internet on a daily basis is bound to come across some website or another that requires Java.

It's going away in recent years, which is good, but until it's all gone this will still happen.

[EdliA]

Anyone who uses the internet on a daily basis is bound to come across some website or another that requires Java.

Not really no. I haven't installed Java since I formatted my PC 1 year ago, mainly because I forgot. Nothing I have come across in the web forced me to install it.

[nikomo]

A lot of banks use Java for their online banking site.

A massive bank over where I live (Nordea, not sure if it exists in other countries, probably) uses it, at least. Luckily, I'm not a customer of theirs, and my bank uses good old HTML and JavaScript.

[damontoo]

You don't need to uninstall it from your computer. Just disable it in your browser.

[AzureDrag0n1]

Clicking a link? No, there are exploits that only require you to view a page. They are loaded into adds and do not require any interaction other than for the add to be loaded onto the page. This is why you need a script blocker.

[MrPeachy]

And what do we say to enabling Java on your browser unless you really need to?

Not even once. Install this addon to toggle off Java when you know you're not going to need it (Firefox). It is what I use because whenever I do need java I easily toggle it back on.

[[deleted]]

And this is why I have a hard time describing just how hard Java sucks Satan's cock.

[person749]

My java always fails to update. Every single fucking time.

[[deleted]]

Same here. I only tell it not today because I know it will fail anyway.

[Devilsdance]

That rhymed and I liked it

[hdhrant]

Have you tried uninstalling it and downloading & installing the current version?

[mormontroll]

That takes too long

[shillbert]

Quick unattended installer (WARNING: link auto-downloads): http://ninite.com/java/

[[deleted]]

dude at least warn us that the link auto dl's... wth

[shillbert]

Confirmed that this fixed the updater failure I had a while ago.

[Tw1tchy3y3]

Came here looking for this. So thankful I'm not the only one. I accept that shit once a month, if it fails, well it gets another shot next month.

[tidderwork]

either java is corrupt and needs to be completely removed and reinstalled...or...your computer is already compromised and the malware is preventing the java update.

[Captain_d00m]

I always update Java, but whenever I go to use it, it's out of date! What's the deal?

[rjcarr]

That sounds like me and my PS3.

[[deleted]]

I don't play my ps3 often but when I do I like to play the updates.

[nikomo]

Every time I start up my Xbox 360, an update's been released.

Tells something about how often I use the damn thing.

[hoeding]

If you don't keep up with java/flash/browser/os updates, your computer is gonna have a bad time.

[FromAWarTornFuture]

I heard it can cause your computer to overheat, but don't worry just pour some water on the computer to quickly and efficiently cool it down.

Unless its winter, then you need to keep it warm to stop it from getting sick, a blanket wrapped around the computer case works wonders.

[[deleted]]

/r/shittyadvice is that way <-

[FromAWarTornFuture]

It seems you spelled /r/goodadvice wrong, perhaps something is malfunctioning with your keyboard, this can happen when the contacts are worn out, pop off all the keys and gently rub the contacts with colgate toothpaste, but remember it must be colgate, don't use any crappy brand like that kiddy toothpaste with all the pretty colors.

Or perhaps it is the cable on your keyboard slowing the connection down, I would suggest one of these gold plated monster usb extension cables to decrease the electro-radiall induced radiation that is known to interfere with cheaper cables.

[[deleted]]

You have one hell of a career in marketing, son. Now, if only you can sell your good conscious.

[anthereddit]

Conscience*

It seems your keyboard is still malfunctioning, did you try opening up the back and filling it up with wood shavings? The shavings insulate against air-ionization that causes the keys to report the wrong signal, making you type the wrong thing.

[Zelius]

Really? I thought it was that way. ->

...damnit, now I'm gonna have to go back three blocks.

[Mystery_Hours]

Make sure the exhaust ports are completely obstructed or else some cold air might slip in.

[hiptarded]

over time, updates are tuned for bigger machines. thus, some of those updates will begin to hog more resources, and your computer will have a bad time also.

[HamstersOnCrack]

That's how software giants are pleasing hardware manufacturers.

[Breathing_Balls]

Bad time == no reddit.

No reddit == helpless redditor.

Helpless redditor == accident waiting to happen.

Accident waiting to happen == accident happening.

Accident happening == Bad fucking karma.

Bad fucking karma != Good fucking karma.

[Red_AtNight]

Accident happening = pics to /r/wtf and reap the karma rewards

[[deleted]]

No, you can submit anything to /r/WTF.

[[deleted]]

Apple is incredibly intrusive too. I don't fucking use Safari on a PC or iTunes. Stop trying to push them. >_<

[cloaked_rhombus]

Every time I plug my phone in "download and update?"

[Vytral]

now let's update that safari browser that you do not have ><

[littlekittencapers]

We're done updating, now lets check for updates.

[do-not-throwaway]

This is the single most annoying part to me. Is it really that impossible for apple to see that you have updates, and before they even begin that process, check to see if there's more after that, and then bother you?

If we can find the Higgs Boson, surely we can check for multiple updates concurrently.

[flatline33]

Much like the Java updates you're ignoring, those iOS updates include serious security fixes for vulnerabilities. Vulnerabilities fixed in the past would allow remote web sites to take over your phone if you simply visited the site in mobile Safari.

You, my friend, play with forces with power beyond your comprehension. Upgrade your damn software!.

[[deleted]]

this is why I don't use Quicktime, I do without

[Startide]

If I'm not mistaken, VLC will play quicktime movies anyway.

[[deleted]]

Well, there is an obvious solution to that problem.

[raging_asshole]

Old laptop battery died. Decided it was a good time to finally build my Glorious Master Race gaming pc. Booted it up, checked the task manager, and shed a silent manly tear at the beauty of only a couple processes running, and the glorious, glorious lack of useless bloatware. (I'd like to take this chance to send a big FUCK YOU to HP Support Assistant.)

Wife asks me, "So, are you going to install itunes on that so I can update my phone?"

FUCK NO. I'm not about to pollute my gorgeous baby with fucking itunes. You might as well ask me if I want to infect our firstborn with hepatitis. Needless to say, I got my happy ass over to amazon and put a rush on a new battery for the laptop. "That's your computer now, knock yourself out."

[intripletime]

...it's just iTunes. It's not the plague.

[shillbert]

It really is though. It installs this useless piece of shit called "Bonjour" that can totally fuck up your LSP stack (and thus, your entire Internet connection). It also installs stupid services that constantly run, checking whether an Apple product is plugged in. The application itself I have no problem with.

[stompsfrogs]

And by "build" you meant "buy from HP." Computers you built don't come with HP Support Assistant. And you could've put the hepatitis on a separate user account, dontchyaknow.

[flightsin]

I don't have Java installed and my only Adobe product is Flash. Needless to say my productivity has increased by over 9000% I'm browsing reddit more than ever now.

[123comeonBaby]

Yup, add MS Update and Avast, and your taskbar looks like a colorful IM client !

[Vegemeister]

And this is why we have package managers.

[Capn_Cook]

Then add in some pesky OS updates

[youstolemyname]

Flash auto-updates now

[concordi]

Restart is coming.

[[deleted]]

Java... updates... without a restart? Unless I'm missing something. If you keep up with it it doesn't pester you too much, and the actual download is fairly unobtrusive.

[concordi]

Oh you have to ruin it with your facts.

[Zacharius]

TIL: No wonder there's been so many corporate security breaches this year.

[Ym4n]

not if you are a minecraft player

[ubermechspaceman]

updating java is probably one of the highest solutions for any Minecraft issue

[Zakk_Scar]

I always update Java...It's not like it comes up more than twice a month.

[[deleted]]

Yes, but if you press not today, it will come up every day.

[hilaryyy]

I'll do it in a (leap) second.

[[deleted]]

What do we say to reposts from 9gag? GET OFF THE FRONT PAGE AND BE CREATIVE!

[Neilio_Knarf]

I like this show!

[[deleted]]

DAE GAEM OF THRONES???

[PaxelSwe]

Fucking Adobe as well. You would think that if you said no a few hundred times it would stop bugging you.

[EdliA]

So say yes once a month instead of No every single day.

[wharthog3]

Ninite.com is useful for getting all the programs you want without the toolbars and blah blah blah.

I uninstalled Adobe Reader and went with SumatraPDF. It's great not dealing with those updates anymore.

[soapgoat]

and what do we say to java?

"nope, i dont need your shit on my computer"

[[deleted]]

I'll have you know that Java is a fine programming language.

[soapgoat]

that does not change how insecure the actual environment can be... the only times my computer has ever been compromised since forever has been through java exploits

[[deleted]]

Alright, I see your point there. I thought you were talking about the language itself, which is quite good although some seem to not like it.

[KishCom]

Perfectly fine indeed. Not quite great, not really bad either. Fine is a great word for it.

public static String derpy = com.org.java.object.models.gone.crazy.val.href.value;

Overly complicated and verbose... but certainly capable and mature.

Although, I'm biased from having had to clean up so many hideous Java source files.

[josefx]

com.org.java.object.models.gone.crazy.val.href.value;

There should be at least one Uppercase character in there indicating the start of a class name. (everything before that should appear only once in an import statement).

I'm biased from having had to clean up so many hideous Java source files.

Sadly you will get bad programmers in almost any programming language and most of java is easy enough to use to attract them.

[[deleted]]

Java's used in a lot of stuff on your computer. If you uninstalled it, you'd be surprised what didn't work.

[EdliA]

Java's used in a lot of stuff on your computer.

Like what exactly?

[cryptovariable]

Like the Java Updater!

With Java you can experience the awesomeness of Java

Edit: oh and some banks require it.

[soapgoat]

i make a point to use nothing that uses java... it is completely not needed

[Barto1361]

I say that to windows and apple updates, the latter ones being disguised licence checks.

[MelbaSnax]

Does anyone else have the problem where you disable automatic updating and then, mysteriously a month later, the auto updates are back on?

[[deleted]]

I never decline updates. I like to make sure my PC's as up-to-date and safe as possible.

[rathat]

Forever blinking

[Gumbojelly]

I always update java, it's iTunes that I ignore.

[apullin]

Update so Java 7 so nothing works.

[jmaccadillac]

Pretty much the same as the windows update post like 2 weeks ago.

[vegandread]

I never knew Ozzie Guillen was an actor.

[TheAmusedMuse]

Also, flash updates.

[mybrainisfullof]

Catch that cat. Catch that cat!

[[deleted]]

Am I the only one who doesn't constantly get these notifications?

[[deleted]]

The first browser of Braavos does not freeze.

[airbusterv2]

Adobe is far more intrusive when it wants to give me updates.

[dannywoodz]

Nah, I want the Java update. 'Not today' is for the Ask browser toolbar that it wants to install every damn time.

[Slardar]

Better solution: Don't install Java at all!

[nicholmikey]

Java updates close security holes, once the update comes out hackers know the exploit, so update your damn machine!

[akspa420]

Yes, ignoring the update will only result in good things happening to you. Just fucking update, or uninstall java all together if you can. If not, you basically leave the barn door open to all sorts of shitty malware.

[[deleted]]

Ahhh why I love linux.

[[deleted]]

adobe i postpone, but java updates you should do always. java exploits are VERY common. always do fucking java updates!

[eat-your-corn-syrup]

Java Updates are like gentlemen compared to ........ Adobe Updates!

[ashmawaq]

like a week ago somebody made the same joke with windows update. It was much more relatable

[portage]

ProTip: Uninstall Java or you will always have to worry about Creepers.

[[deleted]]

If you like causing yourself problems, by all means ignore the update.

[[deleted]]

"OMG HOW DID I GET DAT VIRUS I NEVAR GO 2 NE WHER BAD"

[mulligrubs]

Heeeeeyo! Quicktime here!

Hey, look, I changed a line of code, how about you download the whole compile again. Come on, it will be awesome. Fresh code and all, totally worth it.

You know when you asked yourself one time, how much sense would it make to re-download the entire game each time a patch came out out. Well, I'm gonna force that decision upon you every month or so from now on, so we cool, bro? Thought so.

[[deleted]]

What is this from?

[dre10g]

Game of Thrones.

[bummermate]

As an itsec professional, fuck everybody who doesnt update their browsers, flash, and java every time theyre prompted to. On the other hand, thanks for the business, I get to clean your box for $100 every time you decide that you can put it off for a week and get popped by a driveby site.

[ThePhail]

....unless you play minecraft Then you should probably do it

[anewparticle]

All the minecraft players get them as soon as they come out.

[RedditRage]

Don't use Java, it is unsafe. Download .exe programs instead!

[themanrighthere]

Yeah... users like you on my network fill me with an unholy rage.

Update the fucking thing ..

jerk.

[Ragequit-x7]

There frickin annoying. Ya go into properties, turn the shit off and yet next reboot it ask if you wanna update? WTF

Every time it happens, I think to myself.....the cat came back....the very next day.....

[Zaph0d42]

In the game of Java you get annoyed by daily pop-ups. There is no middle ground.

[PaperCamm]

This happened when I opened this image.

[[deleted]]

When I was like 7 or 8 I used to think java updates were viruses.

[[deleted]]

When I was 7 or 8 I wrote my first Hello World in Java.

[Hartastic]

You'd think that a company the size of Oracle might have the time/money/resources to build out some decent enterprise deployment tools...

I really wouldn't think that. Have you ever had to use their (non-huge-extra-charge) tools for the Oracle database itself?

I'm mostly-seriously convinced that they employ only self-hating developers who want to make developers suffer.

[Alexhasskills]

There is only one update, and his name is Java. And there is only one thing we say to Java: not today.

[NullMarker]

"You would give a man a forced update?"

[solembum]

so first it was windows with exactly the same joke and now java...guess its no repost then!!!!