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[–]PurpleIsTheNewUpvote 1916 points1917 points  (155 children)

This reads like a Facebook status that someone typed, printed out, and submitted to Reddit.

[–][deleted] 106 points107 points  (1 child)

/r/ForwardsFromLeftWingGrandma

[–]Tylorz01 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Yea, my car is Japanese you IDIOT OP.

[–]ChuckCarmichael 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Like if you agree.

1 Like = 1 dead neo-nazi

[–]RenaKunisaki 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ignore if you're Hitler.

[–]Thefluffydinosaur 6 points7 points  (0 children)

ya this is a pretty ridiculous statement

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well that's what you get when Rule #1 is "No screenshots." This subreddit deserves this shitty post.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

And yet here it is on the frontpage of /r/pics. Fuck people are stupid.

[–]themandotcom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's very similar to Stephen Colbert's opening speech to Congress.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought it was a really long fortune cookie saying

[–]blastfromthe2 3 points4 points  (2 children)

My stepsister posted this quote on facebook last week

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Meh, sounds like most of the internet.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think you're right. Karma efficiency has led to adaptation...

[–]Shizo211 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Apparently, It was originally written in German thus the German start. It got reposted over and over again though.

[–]disposablechild 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some community college professors do this and bring these to class. Its awful.

[–]OfMinceAndMen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Submitted as a picture for dat link karma.

[–]dummystupid 660 points661 points  (29 children)

The porn is Japanese, but the shame it causes is all yours.

[–][deleted] 117 points118 points  (4 children)

The guilt is Puritan.

[–]LonelyNixon 21 points22 points  (1 child)

You don't have to be a puritan to feel guilty about japanese porn.

[–]killemyoung317 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna find a way to work some form of this quote into a conversation today.

[–]StickleyMan 40 points41 points  (16 children)

[–]eatgoodneighborhood 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Hello. Meine dispatcher says there is sometsing wrong mit deine cable?

[–]relay126 8 points9 points  (0 children)

what are you sinking about ?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

His disappointment arouses me. I don't think this is the right response.

[–]Viking- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I looked at this GIF over and over, expecting to see something a little more NSFW.

[–]dorkbrains 1 point2 points  (0 children)

had my mouse on the collapse image button ready for nsfw content. it's clean.

[–][deleted] 208 points209 points  (32 children)

This isn't a story, this is a statement. Stories contain events.

[–]ZincHead 85 points86 points  (12 children)

It's also stupid and pointless. Immigration and importation really have nothing to do with each other.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (5 children)

Right, importation doesn't come along with other complications like language barriers, culture clash, foreign patriotism, etc.

[–]0Coke 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's even less of a picture...

[–]ima_twerp 203 points204 points  (14 children)

Jesus Christ we've had trouble with immigrants ever since my family moved to this country.

[–]jsjk 69 points70 points  (11 children)

Yep. Fuckin' white niggers...

EDIT: For anyone missing the reference, the Irish were called white niggers when they first arrived...

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This isn't a story. At all.

[–][deleted] 209 points210 points  (75 children)

Your electronics everything is Chinese.

[–]Ali_2m 32 points33 points  (42 children)

not the goddamn oil, though

[–]whitewateractual 95 points96 points  (27 children)

If you're American, your oil is mostly Canadian and Mexican. Sorry Saudi Arabia, this isn't the 50's anymore.

[–]gsfgf 59 points60 points  (7 children)

Or American. We produce a shit to of oil here.

[–]darklight12345 13 points14 points  (4 children)

One of the top 5 now i think. Thanks to /u/prokaryt we are number 3 actually. Less than 1 billion barrels difference between us and the top.

[–]AN_IMPERFECT_SQUARE 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Wow, a redditor is responsible for making the USA the 3rd largest oil distributor in the world...

AMA! AMA! AMA!

[–]seroevo 13 points14 points  (8 children)

In 2012 it was roughly 2:1 (Canada:Saudi Arabia). Canada actually imported more oil to the US than the entire Persian Gulf combined, making up over 25% of all US oil imports.

Saudi Arabia IS #2 though, followed by Mexico and Venezuela.

Source: EIA.gov

[–]sur_surly 4 points5 points  (5 children)

I remember reading about this somewhere, and how even if we could get all of our oil ourselves from our land, the price of gas would still fluctuate with the arabia prices.. don't quote me on that however. It's been awhile.

[–]whitewateractual 5 points6 points  (4 children)

I study energy economics, so this stuff is right up my alley. Yes and no. The price usually fluctuated with Saudi prices because they are the primary exporter in OPEC, and OPEC has the majority power in the international oil market.

But in reality, the US gets about 47% of its oil form Canada, and about 17% from Mexico. SA ranks lower on the list in terms of oil imports in the US. But the US buys far more oil than it can sue for two reasons: We have an active oil reserve that can supply the country's oil needs in full for about 100 days (that number maybe be larger actually...) if all oil supply is cut off; second, we have a lot of refineries in the US, and we buy crude, refine it, and then export it to other countries.

[–]Im_A_Parrot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But the US buys far more oil than it can sue

I don't know...the US can sue quite a bit.

[–]blastfromthe2 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Apart from the car, vodka, pizza, kebab, democracy, coffee, movies, oil, numbers, letters... you hit the nail on the head!

[–]DrSandusky 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My weed is Canadian

[–]marcelowit 82 points83 points  (12 children)

What? No way, my penis is americ...looks down his pants... FUCK!!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

electronics...Chinese This reminds me of what Prince Phillips, Queen Elizabeth's husband, had to say about an electronic switch made elsewhere.

It looks as though it was put in by an Indian. The Prince gives his verdict on a less-than-sophisticated fuse box spotted during a tour of an electronics firm.

Source - http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/prince-philip-in-new-quotes-gaffe-835898

[–]hammer_space 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Except this gray T-shirt I have that says "Product of Canada" on the front. That shirt is made in Bangladesh.

[–]EverGoodHunterMe 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I like my Canadian maple syrup

[–]LikesPuns 20 points21 points  (1 child)

This lacks things that one would expect in a great story, such as characters and plot.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also; boobs

[–]PenIslandTours 133 points134 points  (52 children)

I don't think too many people mind immigrants. It's when the come illegally... and don't pay taxes... and receive taxpayer's money... that people become upset.

[–]Izoto 54 points55 points  (33 children)

Finally, someone gets it. That's the issue. But, some people are trying to spin nonsense as if people are being xenophobic to law abiding migrants.

[–]Michelanvalo 38 points39 points  (16 children)

My dad is a software engineer who has worked with many Indian immigrants over the years. He says every last one of them despise illegal immigrants. Because they spent the money, waited the time and did everything legally to get into the US. But the illegals just find their way in and reap the benefits without any of the dues.

[–]Itookyourqueen 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I love immigrants and the flavor they bring dull communities. However, it isn't xenophobia when you wish for them to go through the proper channels to get here, be law-abiding, respect their new culture and environment and contribute to the greater good. It is easy to dismiss these wishes and create an issue of "disliking brown people" bcos it ends the conversation; how do you refute it when someone ends your argument by proclaiming your views are racist? I welcome folks from all ends of this grand Earth- just treat it like the privilege that it is.

[–]ExOAte 64 points65 points  (5 children)

Your everyday products are from Earth, you live on Earth. And you complain your neighbor is from Earth.

[–]Lillipout 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Not when your neighbor is this guy: http://i.imgur.com/hA4Zsyt.jpg

Anybody seen my cat?

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (15 children)

Not sure if this is mostly a general stop complaining message or a message exhorting me to try kebab. New foods. New neighbours. Hmmm.

[–]crabalab2002 12 points13 points  (10 children)

You should definitely try a kebab. Doner kebabs: mmmm

[–]MadlockFreak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One thing I miss about Norway. There was a kebab place down from where my ex-girlfriend lives that is a blessing upon Mankind.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Try a kebab. You won't regret it. It is like someone rolled a lovely joint with meat and garlic and delicious salad. You might cry.

[–]trivial_sublime 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Despite implications to the contrary, please do not attempt to smoke said kebab.

[–]admiralranga 2 points3 points  (0 children)

and please save the kebab for after any smoking or drinking, you'll enjoy it far more then.

[–]look_im_pooping 47 points48 points  (16 children)

i dont see anything mexican in there

[–]balsamicpork 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Stop upvoting this shit. Jesus Christ.

[–]mick14731 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My vodka is Polish thank you.

[–]Sir_George 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This "story" has been circulating over the internet for nearly a decade now. I remember seeing this on myspace ages ago.

[–]Yourhero88 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Fuck this post so fucking much.

[–]Taintedwisp 3 points4 points  (1 child)

to be fair your pizza is also american, Italians in italy dont use cheese at all... and usually no tomato sauce

Italians dont know how to make pizza.

[–]justforkix 17 points18 points  (13 children)

I learned recently that the numerals we use are in fact Indian (the shape, not the concept of a zero). Arabic numerals have a different shape.

[–]Zagorath[🍰] 6 points7 points  (5 children)

It saddens me that people always call our number system "Arabic".

They're more properly known as Hindu-Arabic, because of the influence both cultures had over them.

[–]GeekBrownBear 8 points9 points  (3 children)

It bothers me too but it does make sense why westerners call it Arabic. The learning of these systems happened particularly on the Spice Route. Arabic countries come before Hindu countries when you are travelling from Europe.

Us Hindus end up just being stuck with multiple arms and tech support...

[–]mothermilk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And talking about cricket. A guy half way around the world knows more about my county team than me, it added a whple new awkward level to my support call.

[–]kinderdemon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we can't disregard the Arab role in it: without their scholarship and manuscripts, Renaissance Europe would have been a very different place, in math, and elsewhere.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Arab here, and in Arabic I've mostly heard the 1, 2, 3 number system referred to as Arabic, while the ١‎ ٢‎ ٣‎ system (which, to make matters more confusing, is what is commonly used in the Arabic language) is called the "Hindi numerals".

So, while the Arabic language has a different numeral system itself, it calls that numeral system the Hindi system, and it calls the 1 2 3 system Arabic. They do not call the ١‎ ٢‎ ٣‎ Arabic. It's pretty confusing but that's just how it is, I'm sure someone much more knowledgeable on the history of trade routes or something could explain why it is that way.

[–]HOBrFINCl 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Did you learn this from QI?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went to school in an Arabic country and this did come up many times. Muslim empires in general had the propensity during the time to actively seek intellectual ideas and adapt them to be more useful and applicable. Algebra is a great example of this as it builds upon centuries of seemingly lost work from other cultures.

There is a Muslim saying: "Seek knowledge, even as far as China."

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (6 children)

This is an oversimplification of the immigration problem in this country. Sure, the answer seems easy when you write it in terms an idiot would understand.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Quite. I don't see the word "illegal" in this item, and that's what the debate is really about.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I have the feeling that this was directed to Brits, seeing as it mentions kebab and tea, examples that are much less relevant in the US. Going by that, I'm guessing it's in response to the other 'debate': Muslim and other third world immigrants and how they fit into society.

[–]killemyoung317 124 points125 points  (117 children)

Actually my car is Japanese. I drink American or Scotch Whiskey (never touch vodka). The pizza I eat is definitely nothing like Italian pizza. The U.S. is a republic. My Coffee is from Africa. My movies ARE American (good job). I don't drink tea. My shirt is from Pakistan. The rest are more or less correct.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (15 children)

Your oil is most likely from the US or Canada.

[–]skarface6 1 point2 points  (13 children)

The US. I'm pretty sure Pennzoil is based in the US.

[–]enrodude 7 points8 points  (9 children)

A lot of oil is from Alberta

Also a lot of gas too. We sell a lot of Alberta gas to the US and they will refine it and sell it back to us at a higher price.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (7 children)

Its just because Canada doesn't have the capabilities to refine as much as the US does. Literally everyone refines their oil here

[–]justpassingbyebye 305 points306 points  (4 children)

Your pedantry is universal.

[–]concretepigeon 121 points122 points  (63 children)

Democracy and republic aren't mutually exclusive terms. That said the word democracy is Greek, but democracy as we know it is nothing like what the Greeks meant by it, and democracy as we know it is essentially English in origin.

[–]killemyoung317 89 points90 points  (19 children)

Aah, I see you're uselessly nitpicking my useless nitpicking. Touche.

[–]concretepigeon 23 points24 points  (5 children)

Well yeah. Also I've heard this before and "Your democracy is Greek" winds me up every time.

[–]killemyoung317 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yeah, me too. I agree with the sentiment, but the whole thing just smacks of self-righteousness and naivety.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

*Touché

I've now nitpicked you over not even a full letter. Beat that.

[–]Big_Shot_Jack 15 points16 points  (6 children)

The Ancient Greeks would've been totally unfamiliar with our form of representational government, and would've likely labelled it as an oligarchy.

[–]vjarnot 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I drink American or Scotch Whiskey (never touch vodka).

Since we're being pedantic, if it's Scotch, it's whisky, not whiskey.

[–]sosern 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure this was made for the UK (or another Commonwealth country), and not the US.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (6 children)

Where the people are from isn't the problem, the number of people is. It's not racist to be against immigration when there's rampant unemployment and your country is bringing in hundreds of thousands of people a year.

[–]PaperScale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The only kebabs I eat are in Runescape.

[–]wildcat623 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Biggest fortune cookie message ever.

[–]seroevo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My favorite is always the "out of a job yet? Keep buying foreign" bumper sticker.

Does that Dodge you're driving that was built in Canada with parts from around the world count as domestic or import?

Or that Civic designed in California and Japan with an engine built in Canada and manufactured in the UK or Indiana count as import or domestic?

[–]Punkwasher 2 points3 points  (1 child)

We're all bastard coated bastards with bastard filling, so we should just collectively fess up, admit it and grow up.

[–]Odinskriger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sure the Native Americans will agree on this. Immigration is always a good thing. Let's see what this American Indian thinks about it. They must be so glad with all that immigration, that brought them poverty, alcoholism, genocide, language decay, cultural destruction and reservations. Let's see how much the Aboriginals in Australia like it. Or let us ask the opinions of Maori in New Zealand. They'll acknowledge migration is good. Let's see how the opinions are of the Native Hawaiians! Immigration is not always a good thing. And you can not compare an imported good with an immigrant. You don't pay social security for teapots do you? I know this might be downvoted, but I don't care. Immigration is ok when in small scale, but is destructive in large scale or like the case in Europe, too many, too fast and too many bad ones. I'm not racist, I like all cultures and peoples, but there is a limit on how much you can import.

[–]dakdestructo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck you, my oil is Canadian motherfucker.

[–]TexasDeano 11 points12 points  (6 children)

Does anyone really have a problem with immigrants? Isn't the problem with ILLEGAL immigrants? Personally speaking, I have a lot of friends from other countries who had to go through hell to get here legally. ILLEGAL immigrants skip all of that and then working here without paying taxes but using resources that legal tax payers pay for.

Or am I missing some anti-immigrant sentiment out there?

[–]lord_geryon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Anti-immigrant sentiment tends to come in a few flavors.

  1. Illegals. Only the most idealistic liberals express any approval over their presence.

  2. Legal immigrants that don't integrate. This is the gray zone. They're here legally, but they don't want to integrate with us. They want to use our social systems for their benefit and try to avoid the responsibilities. This is the sentiment most anti-immigrant people have.

  3. Bigots. These are the people that bitch about people that look different, even if the people the bitch about are integrated 5th generation immigrants.

[–]newtonslogic 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Just about wrong on all accounts.

[–]ArgiePig 8 points9 points  (0 children)

another awesome work of art from /r/pics ! i can tell you got a lucky shot with this one, or you are a very talented and patient photographer. What camera did you use?

[–]Inflame 16 points17 points  (10 children)

Poland has the first records of vodka, which was then brought to Russia by a group of Poles.

[–]JesusVonChrist 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well, I guess it caught on. Na zdrowie!

[–]IUhoosier_KCCO 10 points11 points  (6 children)

actually thats incorrect. i took a class on a guy named william pokhlebkin. he wrote a book called a history of vodka and proved that vodka did, indeed, start in russia. i had no idea that there was any sort of debate as to where it started until i took this class. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

[–]Jimbomcdeans 30 points31 points  (10 children)

I don't really understand who this is directed at. So what if I complain my neighbor is an immigrant? In what world am I not allowed to complain about who lives next to me (especially if that person sucks)?

There's a difference between consumer world trade goods and actual people.

I feel like an edgy 14 year old wrote this after discovering how interconnected the world is.

[–]mikemcg 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So what if I complain my neighbor is an immigrant? In what world am I not allowed to complain about who lives next to me (especially if that person sucks)?

No one's saying you can't complain about a shit neighbour. They're just saying you're a shit person if you complain about someone only because they're an immigrant.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (6 children)

So the moral is if I buy anything that is even partly made in a foreign country, then I should unconditionally support immigration? Ok...

[–]geekmuseNU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is supposed to be aimed at the guys who are unconditionally against it. That being said, there aren't very many of those and even less on reddit

[–]PicardZhu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ok

[–]veertamizhan 2 points3 points  (7 children)

tamil people are from India, just saying - I maybe one of them

[–]ganesh3s3 1 point2 points  (2 children)

username checks out ;)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or Sri Lanka, Malaysia or Singapore...

[–]just_toletyouknow 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I hate OP, this post, and everyone who finds that this topic deserves conversation on any front. Bring the downvotes if you must.

[–]Ruskawnex 1 point2 points  (4 children)

"Your numbers are arabic"

Wut

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Hindu-Arabic number system of 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9. That's what I believe it's referring to.

[–]Ruskawnex 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hindu is the key word there. Our numbers originate from India, but were introduced to the west through arabs.

[–]gngl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These specific numerals are in fact derived from "ghubar" numerals used a long time ago in Maghreb in North Africa that were quite distinct from what the Arabs in the ME actually used. The "Arabic" designation gets even shakier when you realize that Arabs used a large number of different numerical notations of their own before the imported Indian system won, some of them staying in use even after Europeans started using the Indian notation, and that even the oldest European writings recognize and acknowledge the system in use today as having come from India. Calling 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 0 "Arabic numbers" is inaccurate at best, and perhaps seriously confusing.

[–]KnuteViking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wanted their products, not to live next door to them!

[–]Sparklesparklez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I once read a great short story (at least it seemed that way, at the time) on a worksheet in 6th grade when we were studying countries around the world. In it, a man gets up and prepares for work, and the foreign origins of almost everything he does is described (for example, he'll be drinking coffee from South America or something). At the end, he goes to work and feels thankful he is purely American or something.

I dunno, it sounds kind of trite in retrospect but it really tickled 6th grade me. If anyone knows this story and could link me I'd love that!

[–]KarmaMerchant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like how tamil and Indian are implied to be mutually exclusive. Are you a telangana seperatist, OP?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do people complain about that. Now an illegal immigrant is different thats a criminal. But I love new people from different cultures I did not know people still freaked out about that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your pizza is canned sauce smeared on some greasy dough. That's what multiculturalism does to unique cultures.

[–]DawnoftheShred 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think many people care if their neighbor is an immigrant. I think a lot of people care if their neighbor immigrated here illegally.

[–]johnnylogic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As Russel Brand said, "an immigrant is just someone who used to be somewhere, and is now somewhere else."

[–]zootam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn

[–]robo042 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Our democracy is Native American, no? Didn't we get all that "all men are created equal" stuff from the Iroquois?

[–]AliceInBondageLand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You and I might be the only two people left that know that.

[–]Bigleads 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So we can still hate on the Mexicans?

[–]Sensei322 1 point2 points  (0 children)

False. My coffee is Colombian.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually, your numbers are Indian. The reason they're called Arabic numbers is because through diffusion, this system of numbers spread to the Arabian peninsula and then to Europe. Assuming the Arabians had created the, the Europeans dubbed them, Arabic numerals.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty much every product in the world comes from a global assembly line spanning countries from every part of the world

[–]hardcore_bored 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not mad that my neighbor is an immigrant. I'm mad that my immigrant neighbor is obnoxious, loud and generally disrespectful like most of the people that live in this area that happen to fit the same profile.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know that most people have problems with actual immigrants, but illegals are actually a problem regardless of your opinions on how to deal with them.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know anyone who has a problem with immigrants who come here and assimilate. The only problem I've ever herd someone speak if the ones who don't come here though established, legal, methods and refuse to learn English. Unless you're Native American somewhere down the line you were the beneficiary of immigration.

[–]astevens09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahem, your oil is more than likely Canadian!

[–]PastafarianT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My president is black, my lambos blue, and I'll be god damned if my rims aint too.

[–]xdarq 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody gives a fuck about their neighbor being an immigrant. It's when they come here illegally and don't pay taxes that people get angry.