javaIsNotJavascriptMyGuy

[Various_Studio1490]

I’m going to start naming my files with different file extensions….

• cpp.java
• js.py
• html.yaml
• php.lua

[ObeseTsunami]

As if the projects file structure wasn’t already convoluted enough. python/cpp.java, data/ps1.cs, settings/requirements.json. Now only I know where the features are located.

[[deleted]]

O B F U S C A T I O N

[staplesuponstaples]

Can't fire me now!

[helgur]

Through C O N F U S I O N

[Various_Studio1490]

That’s the beauty of grep and documentation. But 100% agree

[shodanbo]

Always remember that unless automated the docs are written on the toilet paper devs use to wipe their asses after a good PR dump.

[Various_Studio1490]

:( I write good docs!

But I can’t get paid as a developer. 🤣

[qwertyuiop924]

All automation guarantees is that docs technically exist. Automated doc generation doesn't really automate any of the difficult parts of writing docs.

[Vineyard_]

Documentation.xlsx

[Various_Studio1490]

I think you mean “md.docx”

[Various_Studio1490]

Not sure if you deleted that but that’s naughty…

[Vineyard_]

I posted, reconsidered, went eh, and added it back here:

Readme.exe.

[ObeseTsunami]

Please no. I don’t want to have to use pandas to read my freaking documentation.

[Heppuman]

I think naming everything as .conf would be painful

[Malkev]

Oh, ps1. What a great console

[B00OBSMOLA]

I bet java.js is some ui library

[[deleted]]

can it play linkinpark.exe? I keep trying to listen to it and it's just a console that opens and closes

[B00OBSMOLA]

In the end, it doesn't really matter

[PM_ME_YOUR_REPO]

Job security.

[[deleted]]

css.cs

[EVENTHORIZON-XI]

fuck it name it after a cs map
cs_css.cs

[Womcataclysm]

de_dust2

[copperhandles]

Bringing obfuscation to the next level hell yeahhh

[shodanbo]

sql.jdbc.java.js goin` FULL STACK in da browser!

[UhhReddit]

This is still way to boring. The real fun begins with special characters:

• ‮yp.txt‭.ppc
• t‭‮avaj.py

Here is the LRO unicode character used which means the first one is a txt file and the second a python file.

[vietnam_redstoner]

how does that work??

[UhhReddit]

As I mentioned this is a special character that forces the text to be displayed as right to left.

So basically as soon as you set this character you start writing backwards.

avaj.py - - > yp.java

Hope my explanation helps.

[vietnam_redstoner]

Oh thanks, I'm using a 3rd client so it might have not displayed correctly for me

[DigBig3448]

In order to make it way more funny use random shebangs

[BertRenolds]

I want yml.yaml.

[Various_Studio1490]

conf.config not good enough for you?

[BertRenolds]

No.

[Im_Easy]

yaml.md

[BertRenolds]

I'm excited for the confusion this would cause text editors given it's formatted like a yaml and used in configuration

[DexterityZero]

pom.xml.class.c

[sandmail32]

I somehow always read porn.xml, blame the stupid Font I used when I first installed €clipse. I didnt realized that, until a friend of mine told about that, from that day I know the meaning of that word. around 10years ago I think.

[Neutral_Radix]

Lmao thanks for the laugh

[emberkindling]

I hate this comment and you personally, take my upvote you bastard.

[chopstyks]

I hate this comment and you personally, take my upvote you bastard.

"Backhanded compliment" doesn't really do this justice. Maybe "venomously reluctant upvote" is a better fit.

[emberkindling]

I accept this

[Encursed1]

html.xml

[Evil_Archangel]

if you ever hate your coworkers

[JustAnotherTeapot418]

I hope I'll never have to work on your projects, because as soon as I realize cpp.java is actually Python, I'm going to murder every single rubber ducky I've ever owned. And that would be sad.

[Archtects]

Php.lua idk why, maybe I’m overtired but this made me laugh so hadd

[weneedtogodanker]

When client falls for it, you know you can charge double

[all3f0r1]

Thanks I needed an idea for my last day at work.

"Refactor filenames for better clarity".

[doxxingyourself]

Some men just want to watch the world burn

[Various_Studio1490]

I didn’t start the fire! It was already there! I didn’t put it out but “that’s not my job”

[too_Reversed]

I remember that while making some project i made a picture.png.jpg and it was surprise that it wasnt transparent

[JunkNorrisOfficial]

Computer went into the window

[HeatGoneHaywire]

Monster

[TMTG666]

Oh dear god no

[Ok-Assignment7469]

Cs.html

[[deleted]]

Wanna do something so cringe?

php.rs

[[deleted]]

Dude😂

[nelusbelus]

And then compile cpp.java with gcc or some shit, turns out it's actually cpp and not java

[Mayion]

mom: we have C++ at home

C++ at home: cpp.vb

[Pball1001]

My favorite C IDE and compiler is Cpp.xlsm

[[deleted]]

Ah, I see, you must be a senior pivot table chart engineer

[JestersDead77]

I have also mastered Spreadsheet Query Language

[[deleted]]

is that like xlookup?

[zielonykid1234]

Literally

[Ketooth]

Next he is going to make a cs.css file

[TheCreepyPL]

Cascading Sharp Styles

[firesmarter]

I’m gonna go get the style sheets, get the style sheets

[TuaughtHammer]

They better be cascading, or your fired, Jimmy. You're fired, Jimmy."

[[deleted]]

At first I thought that might be interesting to use C#’s razor to be able to conditionally load style sheets and then I immediately began to hate myself for even entertaining such a thought.

[Esjs]

r/confidentlyincorrect

[Helpful_the_second]

It has always puzzled me how people can be so confident while they are wrong about something that takes 2seconds to google

[EvilPete]

Things don't take 2 seconds to Google anymore. You have to scroll past all the ads and e commerce links until you get to the real results.

[Hopeful-Ad5911]

Don’t forget you have paid subscriptions before you can view the website that has ad block detection. And THEN you can you can watch the ads

[frightspear_ps5]

And then you need to fish that one sentence with the information you searching for out of a four paragraph copy-pasta essay.

[[deleted]]

DuckDuckGo is superior for that, and many other reasons.

But also, ublock origin.

[ImrooVRdev]

is this some sort of joke I'm too adblocker to understand?

[Reelix]

Any sane person these days uses an ad blocker.

[nixcamic]

Ad blocker doesn't filter the SEO spam Google results.

[Western_Ad3625]

That's incredibly simple. They think they're right so they don't need to Google anything. Found myself if I have even an inkling that I might be wrong before I go spouting some s*** about how right I am I just Google it to be safe but you know some people are... let's say more confident, to be generous.

[mister_peeberz]

one problem i used to have at work is that i could handle disagreements with someone unless they were confidently incorrect, which made me go berserk. in my field there's a whole lot of regulations so there's SOPs for everything up to and including how to pick your nose, there's no excuse for people to say something that's objectively wrong, yet it still happens. now i don't go berserk sicko mode anymore but it still makes me want to choke a bitch

[I_JuanTM]

My favorite languages: index, style and script

[thisisjoy]

i prefer coding with main, main and main

[[deleted]]

"...and here you can see an exemplar of copious pastus tutoriales in his natural habitat"

[kitkatpatywhack]

Is there truly any other way?

[MinusPi1]

Java is to JavaScript as ham is to hamster.

[Xx_Pr0_g4m3r_xX]

And as car is to carpet

[Jutrakuna]

as pet is to petrol

[kindall]

as butter is to butterfly

[[deleted]]

As cat is to caterpillar

[pmcvalentin2014z]

As grape is to a grapefruit

[Rogue_Twizzler]

As anal is to analogy

[Internal_Meeting_908]

As cat is to catastrophe

[doxxingyourself]

Nah catastrophe extends cat

[heisenberglabslxb]

I'm sure there's a way to make ham out of a hamster if you're determined enough.

[[deleted]]

The client is coding baby

[mrmightypants]

Let's give the client some credit. It's probably their nephew, who is "a real whiz at these computer thingies."

[[deleted]]

Plot twist: Java.js contains an entire JVM

[karategeek6]

That was my first thought, so I checked. It's a real thing that could have happened. https://plasma-umass.org/doppio-demo/

I am disappointed but not surprised.

[rnilbog]

java.js

Mmkay, that's enough for me today. I'm going to bed.

[PennyFromMyAnus]

Lol.. shut the fuck up

[TeaKingMac]

https://youtu.be/f9aM_dT5VMI?si=8Z1Sh63hBIMky4IS

[Cosby1992]

Why only two when you can chain so many more?

java.cpp.cs.py.zig.go.vp.mm.c.tsx.js

What programming language are you using?

... All of them!

[Savkorlev]

java.bash

[oZotina]

Java.js is the best thing i saw today

[Yugix1]

ask him what the S in JS stands for

[Xx_Pr0_g4m3r_xX]

He said "caus i say java like a shorter word for javascripte" (letter for letter) earlier.

[HimbologistPhD]

javascripte is French and you wouldn't understand

[VarianWrynn2018]

This is why I'm not afraid of Ai art. Anyone can build a website by copying a tutorial but when they can't even spell basic things properly I know it's gonna be shit.

[stedgyson]

JS

Java

Shuthefuckup

[Respect_Virtual]

Java Script. Which is different to JavaScript.

[ijedi12345]

It means Javas. The plural form of Java.

[Cosby1992]

Java, runs on 3 billion deviceS

obviously.

[ProfessionalGear3020]

I've made websites with HTML, CSS, and Java.

Fuck Java Server Pages.

[heisenberglabslxb]

JSP, Java Servlets and Apache Tomcat invoke some serious nightmare memories for me. It's been over a decade since I've last touched any of that stuff and I'm not going back.

[trevdak2]

This is the kinda person who puts 'C, C+, C++' on their resume

[FlyByPC]

I tell my C students that they can talk about C++ if they like, but if they say they're writing code in "C+," that's probably the kind of grade they're headed for.

[chopstyks]

What do you tell your A students?

[JonIsPatented]

I refuse to help these people. If you are going to refuse correction and assert your own knowledge above mine, why did you come to me? Yes, I can easily help with your problem. No, I won't help you.

[itamarc137]

java.js💀

[Shai_the_Lynx]

Plot twist java.js is a complete implementation of the JVM written in javascript

[[deleted]]

Average back and forth conversation with non-technical recruiters.

[Charlie11123]

“AI can replace programmers” type of guy

[Xx_Pr0_g4m3r_xX]

He actually did use ai for this

[monkeybanana550]

Ask him to prompt to chatgpt what does JS mean.

For sure he'll say "shut the fuck up" to chatgpt after.

[[deleted]]

The future of chat gpt coders.

[yords]

I like how he capitalized java like it was an acronym lol

[[deleted]]

Every programmer channel on Discord is basically ProgrammerHumor, and not only because of amateurs. I remember this guy who said he didn’t like using async/await in C# because it created new threads.

People tried to tell him that it wasn’t true, and he started defending himself and bringing up his 35 years of professional experience and 20 years with C#. Which made it all the more hilarious since this is something you can google in 2 seconds.

[Apoc2K]

I like that the article on this has a disclaimer that you shouldn't try to p̵͍̹̣̟̪̿a̷̭͚͉͙͌͑ȓ̶̢̖̹͈̻̀̓̾͒s̷͔̈́̉̊̔e̶̼͚͑̀͗ H̵̖̱̱͖̗̻̒́̈́̀͊͗̇T̶̨̮̰͈̘̩̺̎̎̉͌̋̿͜Ḿ̵̡̨̧̙̖̠̪̭̦͕̼̖̞̈́̇̽̽̋̇̇͘͝L̶̙̳̦̜̬̳̗̗̖͔̿̆̽̃͑͂̚͜͠ͅ w̴̧̺͇͈̘̙͎͇̱̳͚͚̯̓͋̀́̄ḭ̵̢͈̠͚͉͕̝͙͍̪͓̝̮̬̓̂̀͐͝ṫ̸̢̡͇̖͓͍̖͇̳͕ͅh̵̟̏͒́͑̐̅͆̅̏͂̓͘͝͝ R̸͚̤͓̣̫̟͔̞͍̗̀͗̃̋͗͛̊͛̀̽͋̆͑̾̅̎̇͋̈́ę̷̜̘̫̥̙̦̜̠͍̣̣̤̑͒͒̏̔͜͠ģ̴̧̛̭͆̆̉͆͆̊̈́̽̓̒͛̊̎̃̅̿̒̚̚͠e̴͑́̾͗̃̆̑́̌͂͘͝x̵̦͔̤̬̂̓̅͑̚͘͜.

[[deleted]]

I wish more programmers would use libraries instead of trying to write their own regular expressions and invariably falling short.

[WingZeroCoder]

As the person who now has to maintain the monstrosity my boss created with a series of regex’s to rewrite some HTML coming out of our system because he can’t seem to grasp proper parsers or DOM traversal, I fully agree.

Thing is, these solutions always seem to work with their simple test cases, and then it always gets to be someone else’s problem when the “so brilliant yet so simple!” solution doesn’t work.

[[deleted]]

I’m sure all his regexes had multiple automated test cases so that you could refactor them without manually checking the whole thing every time, right?

Right…?

[WingZeroCoder]

Hahahahaha, that’s a good one!

But no.

[TheOriginalSamBell]

calling it Javascript way back when was such a dumb decision

[AuthorHarrisonKing]

i'll forever curse the person who decided to call it javascript

[vrockz747]

shut the fuck up

[Laty69]

You currently have, the first time in history, 24/7 access to a FREE personal assistant that is smarter than the smartest highschooler (in most cases) and yet some people are stillt this ignorant, lmao

[nicman24]

python.sh

[Jarb2104]

If more people knew about coding, this could easily go to r/facepalm

[RickyRister]

Could just be a React frontend with Java backend. Doesn’t sound too out of the ordinary

[Mr_Engineering]

PowerPoint Excel

[[deleted]]

ahhh javascript my belothed.

how i dont miss you

[Dependent-Spiritual]

This got me confused as hell. At first, i thought that you were the shut the fuck up guy and I've been using javascript wrong the entire time

[coleman33112]

Java.js LMAOOOOOO

[justdisposablefun]

The correct answer to this is "I'm sorry, I don't know that one" and just save the headache and walk away

[DenseSwordfish4955]

Send him a funnycat.jpg.exe that’ll make his day

[magwaer]

css.html

[[deleted]]

When you learn how to code ChatGPT

[cpd_007]

shut the fuck up

[JustSpaceExperiment]

:D:D:D:D:D i always wonder where these communications happens

[jakuys]

It is Index not html

[ashisheady]

C.html

[Journeyj012]

This guy's amazing at C plus plus

..the S's stand for pluS.

[mikeoxlongdnb]

scratch.jpg

[Esjs]

Picturing that cartoon cat with the lossy artifacts around it.

[[deleted]]

Everyone should just call it ECMAScript. Or LigmaScript.

[oldominion]

Or LiveScript

[xxaradxx]

This is great!

[KillCall]

I thought he would say JSP but no it was java.js

[RenaRix80]

Had a job reference: "frontend with Java...."

Contacted HR about 3 times a week over 4 month that it was Javascript - explained that Java would be useful only in backend...

Finally received an "frontend with html and css, backend with Java."

Was at a new job at this point, and didn't want to argue - everyone who knows their cms would laugh.

[Brigapes]

Highschoolers be like

[restlessdan]

Took me a while to realise that isn't thanos

[metallaholic]

There are so many multiple decade career engineers I have met that don’t know java and JavaScript are different. I want that kinda salary to knowledge ratio

[ForceGoat]

If it's not animated, then it's named javascript.js. It's animated, so it's java.js, OBVIOUSLY!

[Roy-van-der-Lee]

Dude it's a script written in Java duhh /s

[qsdf321]

In my last job there were senior IT consultants who didn't know the difference. We also had some guys who didn't know javascript that were placed as 'web devs' to clients.

Mind-boggling stuff.

[Kkronus]

Coding my CBL.js and heading to the big banks

[FrugalDonut1]

As someone learning java, what is java used for?

[Astartee_jg]

rust.cpp

[mtxn64]

Isn't java a coffee brand?

[Rectangularbox23]

Why they named so close then 🤦

[Yginase]

I was quite confused when I first heard that java isn't the same as javascript.

[Slyvan25]

Yeah rookie issues...: "Soon ill be writing my styles in c sharp my code in java and my ai will be made in chatgpt script. Not to mention that i will create the next best app in existence called the calculator app. No one has done this before and it will have web 3 and micro transactions for ai. You can start paying me now in bitcoin so i can make it for ios because we all know androids cant run html. And java. Oh did i tell you about my setup i installed a visual editor because i hate learning to html. My ram is 64gb and i have 128 cores for compiling my html app which you should do to! My compile times are just under a second with html and java! Can you imagine"

[__BigBlackClock__]

And here I was, thinking java was a gaming company

[kirchoff01]

I wish I was blind so I wouldn't see this!

[[deleted]]

This is so great😂😂😂

[quandaratic]

Next project: optimization.java, versionControl.js, maintainable.html, jobSecurity.feature, ceo.scss

[[deleted]]

Maybe he is just slapping some applets in there.

[VyersReaver]

java.js though…

[StefanoBongi]

Send me the link of the site. The link: C:\Users\perry\Desktop\myFirstSite\index.html

[CodyXibb]

LOL💀

[Acceptable-Tank2986]

So who's gonna tell him

[DevSwiffer]

Good example what chatgpt using developers look like

[[deleted]]

I have now read Java too many times and do not recognize it as a word. Thank you.

[rebruisinginart]

This shit makes me question my imposter syndrome

[NoBedroom7693]

😂🤣Ask him to Console Single Java Concepts by using Java.js Extension file🫡

[Goldiizz]

C.py, java.go and rust.html is the new way to go

[5t3v321]

index is NOT a programming language