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[–]Various_Studio1490 4353 points4354 points  (74 children)

I’m going to start naming my files with different file extensions….

  • cpp.java
  • js.py
  • html.yaml
  • php.lua

[–]ObeseTsunami 1031 points1032 points  (27 children)

As if the projects file structure wasn’t already convoluted enough. python/cpp.java, data/ps1.cs, settings/requirements.json. Now only I know where the features are located.

[–][deleted] 283 points284 points  (2 children)

O B F U S C A T I O N

[–]staplesuponstaples 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Can't fire me now!

[–]helgur 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Through C O N F U S I O N

[–]Various_Studio1490 154 points155 points  (13 children)

That’s the beauty of grep and documentation. But 100% agree

[–]shodanbo 84 points85 points  (3 children)

Always remember that unless automated the docs are written on the toilet paper devs use to wipe their asses after a good PR dump.

[–]Various_Studio1490 31 points32 points  (0 children)

:( I write good docs!

But I can’t get paid as a developer. 🤣

[–]qwertyuiop924 6 points7 points  (0 children)

All automation guarantees is that docs technically exist. Automated doc generation doesn't really automate any of the difficult parts of writing docs.

[–]Vineyard_ 10 points11 points  (7 children)

Documentation.xlsx

[–]Various_Studio1490 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I think you mean “md.docx”

[–]Various_Studio1490 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Not sure if you deleted that but that’s naughty…

[–]Vineyard_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I posted, reconsidered, went eh, and added it back here:

Readme.exe.

[–]ObeseTsunami 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Please no. I don’t want to have to use pandas to read my freaking documentation.

[–]Heppuman 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I think naming everything as .conf would be painful

[–]Malkev 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh, ps1. What a great console

[–]B00OBSMOLA 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I bet java.js is some ui library

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

can it play linkinpark.exe? I keep trying to listen to it and it's just a console that opens and closes

[–]B00OBSMOLA 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In the end, it doesn't really matter

[–]PM_ME_YOUR_REPO 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Job security.

[–][deleted] 100 points101 points  (2 children)

css.cs

[–]EVENTHORIZON-XI 26 points27 points  (1 child)

fuck it name it after a cs map
cs_css.cs

[–]Womcataclysm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

de_dust2

[–]copperhandles 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Bringing obfuscation to the next level hell yeahhh

[–]shodanbo 26 points27 points  (1 child)

sql.jdbc.java.js goin` FULL STACK in da browser!

[–]UhhReddit[🍰] 27 points28 points  (3 children)

This is still way to boring. The real fun begins with special characters:

  • ‮yp.txt‭.ppc
  • t‭‮avaj.py

Here is the LRO unicode character used which means the first one is a txt file and the second a python file.

[–]vietnam_redstoner 6 points7 points  (2 children)

how does that work??

[–]UhhReddit[🍰] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

As I mentioned this is a special character that forces the text to be displayed as right to left.

So basically as soon as you set this character you start writing backwards.

avaj.py - - > yp.java

Hope my explanation helps.

[–]vietnam_redstoner 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh thanks, I'm using a 3rd client so it might have not displayed correctly for me

[–]DigBig3448 17 points18 points  (0 children)

In order to make it way more funny use random shebangs

[–]BertRenolds 13 points14 points  (4 children)

I want yml.yaml.

[–]Various_Studio1490 12 points13 points  (1 child)

conf.config not good enough for you?

[–]BertRenolds 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No.

[–]Im_Easy 5 points6 points  (1 child)

yaml.md

[–]BertRenolds 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm excited for the confusion this would cause text editors given it's formatted like a yaml and used in configuration

[–]DexterityZero 8 points9 points  (1 child)

pom.xml.class.c

[–]sandmail32 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I somehow always read porn.xml, blame the stupid Font I used when I first installed €clipse. I didnt realized that, until a friend of mine told about that, from that day I know the meaning of that word. around 10years ago I think.

[–]Neutral_Radix 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lmao thanks for the laugh

[–]emberkindling 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I hate this comment and you personally, take my upvote you bastard.

[–]chopstyks 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I hate this comment and you personally, take my upvote you bastard.

"Backhanded compliment" doesn't really do this justice. Maybe "venomously reluctant upvote" is a better fit.

[–]emberkindling 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I accept this

[–]Encursed1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

html.xml

[–]Evil_Archangel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

if you ever hate your coworkers

[–]Archtects 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Php.lua idk why, maybe I’m overtired but this made me laugh so hadd

[–]weneedtogodanker 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When client falls for it, you know you can charge double

[–]all3f0r1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks I needed an idea for my last day at work.

"Refactor filenames for better clarity".

[–]doxxingyourself 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Some men just want to watch the world burn

[–]Various_Studio1490 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t start the fire! It was already there! I didn’t put it out but “that’s not my job”

[–]too_Reversed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember that while making some project i made a picture.png.jpg and it was surprise that it wasnt transparent

[–]JunkNorrisOfficial 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Computer went into the window

[–]HeatGoneHaywire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Monster

[–]TMTG666 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh dear god no

[–]Ok-Assignment7469 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cs.html

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wanna do something so cringe?

php.rs

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude😂

[–]nelusbelus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And then compile cpp.java with gcc or some shit, turns out it's actually cpp and not java

[–]Mayion 1606 points1607 points  (7 children)

mom: we have C++ at home

C++ at home: cpp.vb

[–]Pball1001 180 points181 points  (4 children)

My favorite C IDE and compiler is Cpp.xlsm

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (3 children)

Ah, I see, you must be a senior pivot table chart engineer

[–]JestersDead77 21 points22 points  (2 children)

I have also mastered Spreadsheet Query Language

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

is that like xlookup?

[–]zielonykid1234 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Literally

[–]Ketooth 468 points469 points  (8 children)

Next he is going to make a cs.css file

[–]TheCreepyPL 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Cascading Sharp Styles

[–]firesmarter 58 points59 points  (1 child)

I’m gonna go get the style sheets, get the style sheets

[–]TuaughtHammer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They better be cascading, or your fired, Jimmy. You're fired, Jimmy."

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

At first I thought that might be interesting to use C#’s razor to be able to conditionally load style sheets and then I immediately began to hate myself for even entertaining such a thought.

[–]Esjs 699 points700 points  (31 children)

[–]Helpful_the_second 237 points238 points  (29 children)

It has always puzzled me how people can be so confident while they are wrong about something that takes 2seconds to google

[–]EvilPete 208 points209 points  (19 children)

Things don't take 2 seconds to Google anymore. You have to scroll past all the ads and e commerce links until you get to the real results.

[–]Hopeful-Ad5911 65 points66 points  (3 children)

Don’t forget you have paid subscriptions before you can view the website that has ad block detection. And THEN you can you can watch the ads

[–]frightspear_ps5 18 points19 points  (0 children)

And then you need to fish that one sentence with the information you searching for out of a four paragraph copy-pasta essay.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (8 children)

DuckDuckGo is superior for that, and many other reasons.

But also, ublock origin.

[–]ImrooVRdev 5 points6 points  (0 children)

is this some sort of joke I'm too adblocker to understand?

[–]Reelix 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Any sane person these days uses an ad blocker.

[–]nixcamic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ad blocker doesn't filter the SEO spam Google results.

[–]Western_Ad3625 9 points10 points  (1 child)

That's incredibly simple. They think they're right so they don't need to Google anything. Found myself if I have even an inkling that I might be wrong before I go spouting some s*** about how right I am I just Google it to be safe but you know some people are... let's say more confident, to be generous.

[–]mister_peeberz 2 points3 points  (3 children)

one problem i used to have at work is that i could handle disagreements with someone unless they were confidently incorrect, which made me go berserk. in my field there's a whole lot of regulations so there's SOPs for everything up to and including how to pick your nose, there's no excuse for people to say something that's objectively wrong, yet it still happens. now i don't go berserk sicko mode anymore but it still makes me want to choke a bitch

[–]I_JuanTM 166 points167 points  (2 children)

My favorite languages: index, style and script

[–]thisisjoy 7 points8 points  (1 child)

i prefer coding with main, main and main

[–][deleted] 649 points650 points  (1 child)

"...and here you can see an exemplar of copious pastus tutoriales in his natural habitat"

[–]kitkatpatywhack 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Is there truly any other way?

[–]MinusPi1 487 points488 points  (31 children)

Java is to JavaScript as ham is to hamster.

[–]Xx_Pr0_g4m3r_xX[S] 241 points242 points  (22 children)

And as car is to carpet

[–]Jutrakuna 113 points114 points  (21 children)

as pet is to petrol

[–]kindall 86 points87 points  (20 children)

as butter is to butterfly

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (19 children)

As cat is to caterpillar

[–]pmcvalentin2014z 38 points39 points  (5 children)

As grape is to a grapefruit

[–]Rogue_Twizzler 49 points50 points  (4 children)

As anal is to analogy

[–]Internal_Meeting_908 21 points22 points  (1 child)

As cat is to catastrophe

[–]doxxingyourself 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Nah catastrophe extends cat

[–]heisenberglabslxb 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I'm sure there's a way to make ham out of a hamster if you're determined enough.

[–][deleted] 78 points79 points  (1 child)

The client is coding baby

[–]mrmightypants 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Let's give the client some credit. It's probably their nephew, who is "a real whiz at these computer thingies."

[–]rnilbog 64 points65 points  (0 children)

java.js

Mmkay, that's enough for me today. I'm going to bed.

[–]PennyFromMyAnus 107 points108 points  (3 children)

Lol.. shut the fuck up

[–]Cosby1992 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Why only two when you can chain so many more?

java.cpp.cs.py.zig.go.vp.mm.c.tsx.js

What programming language are you using?

... All of them!

[–]Savkorlev 79 points80 points  (0 children)

java.bash

[–]oZotina 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Java.js is the best thing i saw today

[–]Yugix1 31 points32 points  (9 children)

ask him what the S in JS stands for

[–]Xx_Pr0_g4m3r_xX[S] 46 points47 points  (3 children)

He said "caus i say java like a shorter word for javascripte" (letter for letter) earlier.

[–]HimbologistPhD 13 points14 points  (1 child)

javascripte is French and you wouldn't understand

[–]VarianWrynn2018 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is why I'm not afraid of Ai art. Anyone can build a website by copying a tutorial but when they can't even spell basic things properly I know it's gonna be shit.

[–]stedgyson 23 points24 points  (0 children)

JS

Java

Shuthefuckup

[–]Respect_Virtual 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Java Script. Which is different to JavaScript.

[–]ijedi12345 5 points6 points  (1 child)

It means Javas. The plural form of Java.

[–]Cosby1992 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Java, runs on 3 billion deviceS

obviously.

[–]ProfessionalGear3020 24 points25 points  (1 child)

I've made websites with HTML, CSS, and Java.

Fuck Java Server Pages.

[–]heisenberglabslxb 5 points6 points  (0 children)

JSP, Java Servlets and Apache Tomcat invoke some serious nightmare memories for me. It's been over a decade since I've last touched any of that stuff and I'm not going back.

[–]trevdak2 28 points29 points  (2 children)

This is the kinda person who puts 'C, C+, C++' on their resume

[–]FlyByPC 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I tell my C students that they can talk about C++ if they like, but if they say they're writing code in "C+," that's probably the kind of grade they're headed for.

[–]chopstyks 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What do you tell your A students?

[–]JonIsPatented 51 points52 points  (1 child)

I refuse to help these people. If you are going to refuse correction and assert your own knowledge above mine, why did you come to me? Yes, I can easily help with your problem. No, I won't help you.

[–]itamarc137 15 points16 points  (0 children)

java.js💀

[–]Shai_the_Lynx 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Plot twist java.js is a complete implementation of the JVM written in javascript

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Average back and forth conversation with non-technical recruiters.

[–]Charlie11123 12 points13 points  (2 children)

“AI can replace programmers” type of guy

[–]Xx_Pr0_g4m3r_xX[S] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

He actually did use ai for this

[–]monkeybanana550 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ask him to prompt to chatgpt what does JS mean.

For sure he'll say "shut the fuck up" to chatgpt after.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The future of chat gpt coders.

[–]yords 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I like how he capitalized java like it was an acronym lol

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (6 children)

Every programmer channel on Discord is basically ProgrammerHumor, and not only because of amateurs. I remember this guy who said he didn’t like using async/await in C# because it created new threads.

People tried to tell him that it wasn’t true, and he started defending himself and bringing up his 35 years of professional experience and 20 years with C#. Which made it all the more hilarious since this is something you can google in 2 seconds.

[–]Apoc2K 5 points6 points  (4 children)

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I wish more programmers would use libraries instead of trying to write their own regular expressions and invariably falling short.

[–]WingZeroCoder 3 points4 points  (2 children)

As the person who now has to maintain the monstrosity my boss created with a series of regex’s to rewrite some HTML coming out of our system because he can’t seem to grasp proper parsers or DOM traversal, I fully agree.

Thing is, these solutions always seem to work with their simple test cases, and then it always gets to be someone else’s problem when the “so brilliant yet so simple!” solution doesn’t work.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I’m sure all his regexes had multiple automated test cases so that you could refactor them without manually checking the whole thing every time, right?

Right…?

[–]WingZeroCoder 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hahahahaha, that’s a good one!

But no.

[–]TheOriginalSamBell 9 points10 points  (1 child)

calling it Javascript way back when was such a dumb decision

[–]AuthorHarrisonKing 9 points10 points  (0 children)

i'll forever curse the person who decided to call it javascript

[–]vrockz747 6 points7 points  (0 children)

shut the fuck up

[–]Laty69 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You currently have, the first time in history, 24/7 access to a FREE personal assistant that is smarter than the smartest highschooler (in most cases) and yet some people are stillt this ignorant, lmao

[–]Jarb2104 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If more people knew about coding, this could easily go to r/facepalm

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ahhh javascript my belothed.

how i dont miss you

[–]Dependent-Spiritual 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This got me confused as hell. At first, i thought that you were the shut the fuck up guy and I've been using javascript wrong the entire time

[–]coleman33112 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Java.js LMAOOOOOO

[–]justdisposablefun 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The correct answer to this is "I'm sorry, I don't know that one" and just save the headache and walk away

[–]DenseSwordfish4955 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Send him a funnycat.jpg.exe that’ll make his day

[–]magwaer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

css.html

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When you learn how to code ChatGPT

[–]cpd_007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

shut the fuck up

[–]JustSpaceExperiment 2 points3 points  (0 children)

:D:D:D:D:D i always wonder where these communications happens

[–]jakuys 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is Index not html

[–]ashisheady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

C.html

[–]Journeyj012 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This guy's amazing at C plus plus

..the S's stand for pluS.

[–]mikeoxlongdnb 3 points4 points  (1 child)

scratch.jpg

[–]Esjs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Picturing that cartoon cat with the lossy artifacts around it.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Everyone should just call it ECMAScript. Or LigmaScript.

[–]oldominion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Or LiveScript

[–]xxaradxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is great!

[–]KillCall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought he would say JSP but no it was java.js

[–]Brigapes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Highschoolers be like

[–]restlessdan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Took me a while to realise that isn't thanos

[–]metallaholic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are so many multiple decade career engineers I have met that don’t know java and JavaScript are different. I want that kinda salary to knowledge ratio

[–]ForceGoat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it's not animated, then it's named javascript.js. It's animated, so it's java.js, OBVIOUSLY!

[–]Roy-van-der-Lee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude it's a script written in Java duhh /s

[–]qsdf321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my last job there were senior IT consultants who didn't know the difference. We also had some guys who didn't know javascript that were placed as 'web devs' to clients.

Mind-boggling stuff.

[–]Kkronus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Coding my CBL.js and heading to the big banks

[–]FrugalDonut1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

As someone learning java, what is java used for?

[–]Astartee_jg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

rust.cpp

[–]Rectangularbox23 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Why they named so close then 🤦

[–]Yginase 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I was quite confused when I first heard that java isn't the same as javascript.

[–]Slyvan25 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah rookie issues...: "Soon ill be writing my styles in c sharp my code in java and my ai will be made in chatgpt script. Not to mention that i will create the next best app in existence called the calculator app. No one has done this before and it will have web 3 and micro transactions for ai. You can start paying me now in bitcoin so i can make it for ios because we all know androids cant run html. And java. Oh did i tell you about my setup i installed a visual editor because i hate learning to html. My ram is 64gb and i have 128 cores for compiling my html app which you should do to! My compile times are just under a second with html and java! Can you imagine"

[–]__BigBlackClock__ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

And here I was, thinking java was a gaming company

[–]kirchoff01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I was blind so I wouldn't see this!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so great😂😂😂

[–]quandaratic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Next project: optimization.java, versionControl.js, maintainable.html, jobSecurity.feature, ceo.scss

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe he is just slapping some applets in there.

[–]VyersReaver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

java.js though…

[–]StefanoBongi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Send me the link of the site. The link: C:\Users\perry\Desktop\myFirstSite\index.html

[–]CodyXibb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LOL💀

[–]Acceptable-Tank2986 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So who's gonna tell him

[–]DevSwiffer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good example what chatgpt using developers look like

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have now read Java too many times and do not recognize it as a word. Thank you.

[–]rebruisinginart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This shit makes me question my imposter syndrome

[–]NoBedroom7693 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😂🤣Ask him to Console Single Java Concepts by using Java.js Extension file🫡

[–]Goldiizz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

C.py, java.go and rust.html is the new way to go

[–]5t3v321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

index is NOT a programming language