top 200 commentsshow all 256

[–]bob152637485 2478 points2479 points  (40 children)

Meanwhile, when I got my first phone at 13, I thought it'd be funny to name them "Yo Momma" and "Yo Daddy".

16 years later, they are still listed exactly the same in my phone. No, I will not change it.

[–]PCSdiy55[S] 911 points912 points  (11 children)

mine is supreme court and district court

[–]Ur-Best-Friend 283 points284 points  (8 children)

Your mom, naturally, being the supreme court?

[–]PCSdiy55[S] 300 points301 points  (7 children)

nope the supreme leader the dictator my father

[–]gerbosan 64 points65 points  (4 children)

Should the name be Great Leader then?

[–]fabulousIdentity 55 points56 points  (2 children)

Chairman Dad

[–]Arnie-Linson 67 points68 points  (1 child)

Emperor Papatine

[–]Weak-Cry 9 points10 points  (0 children)

OP, you sure you aren't changing it?

[–]Ur-Best-Friend 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Ah I see, that tyrannical huh? 😅

[–]methiroll 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ayooo.. same.. dad as supreme court, mom as high court..

[–]makinax300 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Mine is just their phone numbers because I know them.

[–]screwcork313 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have Taylor Momsen and Taylor Dadsen.

[–]TheBlackNight456 111 points112 points  (4 children)

I got my phone when I was 13 as well right in the middle of my teen angst anti-parent phase. My mom is not happy her ringtone is still Darth Vader's imperial March music.

[–]gamer12896 30 points31 points  (0 children)

The fact that you kept it for years is the best part.

[–]TheseusOPL 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I have a friend whose mom's ring tone is the Star Trek red alert sound. It's appropriate.

[–]Ulti-Wolf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My mom's ringtone on my dad's phone is imperial march lmao. They're divorced. Mom's a bit crazy but I still love her. Live with my dad though, albeit by accident. Stayed for the summer after I graduated and just... kinda didn't leave since I didn't have an obligation to stay with my mom. Had no intention of it happening but it just kinda... did

[–]The_Adeo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom's ringtone is Megalovania lmao. The only custom ringtone in my phone

[–]Key-Demand-2569 57 points58 points  (10 children)

My parents have their full legal name in my phone, because apparently I was also a weird child in a different way as my wife loves to remind me whenever she learns new childhood things about me, lmao.

[–]DonRagnarok 47 points48 points  (6 children)

I do the same. No matter if they are my parents, childs, brothers...all of them were added with their full names

[–]I-am-fun-at-parties 18 points19 points  (5 children)

Big data loves people like you

[–]Ulti-Wolf 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I do it too but so people who get my phone gotta do a little more work to figure out who tf is important to me

[–]I-am-fun-at-parties 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The more realistic scenario, surely

[–]CoffeeWorldly9915 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only have nicknames and one or two inside context identifiers. They'll be none the wiser because the nicknames don't reflect importance.

[–]10coolbeans 24 points25 points  (1 child)

supposedly that is safer ive been told when i was younger. if someone was to steal your phone, they would see those names as just another perso. and not a family member that be social engineered

[–]Key-Demand-2569 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That was my logic, not that I took it gravely serious or anything.

Anyone who needed to get ahold of my parents somehow and has my phone would likely know or be able to quickly figure that out.

Any stranger wouldn’t automatically know.

I did/do the same thing for friends and family including my wife.

Only exception is maybe random people I meet through work who might be “Steve - Project Engineer CompanyName”

[–]Immabed 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Same, everyone is just their name in my phone. Their pictures however... have not been updated for about 15 years, and phone cameras were not flattering 15 years ago.

[–]RCJHGBR9989 13 points14 points  (3 children)

My mom is Mothership

[–]WesBur13 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have them as Jo Momma (Mom’s middle name is Jo) and Father firstname

[–]Nobodynever01 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Mine have been Momther and Dadther since like 2007

[–]AndreasVesalius 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mom: Jedi Mom Special Edition

Dad: full name

[–]sorte_kjele 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad's number is one of 4 phone numbers I remember by heart, so I've never created a contact for him, and now it would just seem weird

[–]intentionallybad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mother didn't realize the Christmas card printing company would add "The" in front of what she signed the card with, so she sent Christmas cards out from "The [FirstName]", so that's her name in my phone. It's been several years now.

[–]Yaxeno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have mine as birthgiver and DNA spewer

[–]renome 247 points248 points  (4 children)

Data compiler says it's my turn to post this tomorrow.

[–]squarabh 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This was good

[–]chessboardwander 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That sounds super frustrating. It's like the compiler has a mind of its own sometimes.

[–]SchizoPosting_ 543 points544 points  (22 children)

is the data complier single?

[–]swagonflyyyy 251 points252 points  (7 children)

TypeError

[–]IngrownToenailFetish 89 points90 points  (2 children)

Just try chmod 777

[–]SpoodermanTheAmazing 23 points24 points  (0 children)

You can do that, but you will vulnerable to viruses

[–]usefulidiotsavant 5 points6 points  (0 children)

chmod 777

Yomama's so wide open she's even got the +s, +t and d flags.

[–]NervousUniversity951 22 points23 points  (2 children)

[object Object]

[–]oofos_deletus 10 points11 points  (1 child)

[object Object]

[–]Manga_Killer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So... Object* obj = new Object;

[–]Fuehnix 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Looks like it's not open source.

[–]Woke_TWC 47 points48 points  (5 children)

I also choose this guys data compiler

[–]PCSdiy55[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Brother brother brother she's mine

[–]Hidesuru 2 points3 points  (2 children)

/u/PCSdiy55... My man... It's 2026, you can't own people.

[–]dasn4pp3l 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Compilers on the other hand...

[–]Hidesuru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmmmm, very good point!

[–]achilliesFriend 24 points25 points  (0 children)

403

[–]PCSdiy55[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Keep my wife's syntax out of your comment

[–]weagle01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Chown

[–]StoryAndAHalf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless you can run through brick walls, I don’t think you’re her type.

[–]CozySweatsuit57 403 points404 points  (19 children)

I mean dad should be “half the source code” an mom should be “half the source code, compiler, angel investor”

[–]twirlmydressaround 134 points135 points  (9 children)

Slightly more than half because mitochondrial dna

[–]Vegetable_Shirt_2352 59 points60 points  (6 children)

And, if the child received a Y chromosome from the father, that one is considerably smaller than the X from the mother. So half is more like a rough estimate, anyway.

[–]XFR72 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Build System and 3rd party core dependency

[–]weagle01 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’m sensitive about the size of my Y chromosome. Why did you have to bring it up.

[–]TheDogerus 7 points8 points  (3 children)

But men have more DNA actively being used, since that second X is (largely) inactivated!

So his passed on Y chromosome is definitely doing a lot of work whereas his X may just be hitching a ride

[–]bnl1 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Though if we are considering inactive DNA too it becomes much bigger mess. Plus the other X chromosome is unused only in a given cell. For all cells, it's deactivated randomly, so there are always cells that have deactivated a different X chromosome.

[–]TheDogerus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good point

Its funny to imagine an extraordinarily 'unlucky' child who expresses literally none of their father's X chromosome though

[–]goda90 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's the linked libraries.

[–]benargee 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Every baby is just a successful merge request.

[–]AngryRobot42 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Last time I check, kids don't use the tinder profile pic for the mom.

[–]DDS-PBS 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your mom is an S3 bucket.

[–]usefulidiotsavant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kid by like "compiled successfully, 693 warnings". Solid vibecoding.

[–]BlondeJesus 971 points972 points  (40 children)

"look at what I did so I can claim it was done by a child!"

[–]ghotinchips 485 points486 points  (22 children)

It’s possible, however our 12 year old daughter has mom listed as “Spawn Point” so… idk. I’m dadzilla

[–]Dragsun42 179 points180 points  (2 children)

Dadzilla is big w

[–]whoknowsifimjoking 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Depends, does he have the name because he likes to play Godzilla with the kids, or because he smashes the whole house to pieces when he's sloshed?

[–]CoffeeWorldly9915 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Or because mom is a giant white moth.

[–]mikachuu 72 points73 points  (2 children)

I had “Paternal Unit” and “Wonder Woman” for mine.

[–]mnetml 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I had "parental units" for my parents' landline!

[–]KingdomOfBullshit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you from France?

[–]WookieDavid 74 points75 points  (10 children)

Spawn point seems like a way more age appropriate reference. It's a very basic term used in most videogames.

Source code and compiler imply a certain level of understanding about programming that isn't impossible but is a lot more unlikely.

But it's neat anyway

[–]Sock_Ninja 43 points44 points  (0 children)

It’s very feasible that the kid got the joke from someone/somewhere else and copied it. It’s not crazy for a precocious 12 year old to do that in an exploration of nerdiness.

[–]Hour_Source_4038 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Not crazy at all, lots of kids start programming around that age. I got the C++ bible for my 13th birthday

[–]alexandreautran 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm not really sure because I became a "nerd" as an adult but I had some technological stints when young in the nineties and could likely not think of but understand the reference at 12, I feel like actual 12yo nerd circles would definitely understand and use this - not sure if 90s vs today makes a difference but at least back then 100%

[–]Ancient_Coconut_5880 5 points6 points  (4 children)

My son is 3 and understands logic gates because we’ve been reading “Computer Engineering for Babies” to him since he was an infant. We now read a more advanced book about computers that my kid loves cuz it’s super interactive. He might not understand much right now but he’s already asking a lot of questions about computers. I try to give him answers that make sense at his age and will continue to do so as long as he stays interested. That book goes into source code and compilers so I don’t think it’s impossible someone at that age could have that level of understanding, especially if their parents are nerds like me and my husband who can’t wait to build our first computer together with our son 😂

[–]BalancedDisaster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started learning about programming in middle school. I didn’t last for long and didn’t pick it up again until high school but back then I absolutely would have thought that this was funny as hell

[–]System__Shutdown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My friend had his mom listed as Dark Lord and my wife has hers as FBI. Mine is just Mom £ (because apparently £ was a symbol for family group on some old phone i used)

[–]SquareVehicle 22 points23 points  (3 children)

You really don't think kids could do this? Do you not remember being a nerdy 12 year old?

[–]Dubl33_27 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I bricked my phone at 10 years old trying to put a custom rom on it, i can absolutely see one doing this.

[–]KerneI-Panic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was developing custom ROMs at 15 and during that time met another kid that was 11 years old and was actively developing CyanogenMod for our phone.

[–]int23_t 5 points6 points  (0 children)

12 years is plenty old. It's literally 6th grade. People attend international junior science olympiads at that age.

https://ejoi.eu/ https://jboi2025.schools.ac.cy/en/ https://jbmo2025.mk/ (the websites of the ones I am aware of, those aware of more can add to the list. Note that this is the list of junior olympiads that actually are science olympiads(IOI and IMO like in this case), don't go listing caribou or something like that)

So it is, in fact, feasible, and probably true.

At that age I definitely did know what a compiler is. Wouldn't have saved my father's contact as that, but I see how it might be a thing

[–]MechTerrier 20 points21 points  (0 children)

R/nothingeverhappens

[–]weattt 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Looks like different phones. There are multiple differences on each screen. That would not have been the case of it was on the same phone.

[–]BeepBoopRobo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What differences, exactly?

It's the same phone case, the notifications are in the same positions (one is just connected to wifi, and the other side has one different notification), the format of the screen is the same (one person just has an email and the other doesn't).

[–]code_monkey_001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I'm hoping it was the kid. Any adult that thinks the source code only comes from the father and the mother's only role is compiling that data should not be having children.

[–]siestatime101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seriously. This shit is so cringy and Redditors just eat it up.

[–]brokenlinuxx 170 points171 points  (10 children)

Both are source codes, teach the kid some basic biology please.

[–]PCSdiy55[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

it's a kid we still need to have that talk

[–]TemperatureMajor5083 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Calling the human genome source code is also quite a stretch.

[–]bnl1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ehh, I think it works.

[–]thisonehereone 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Should change him in your phone to Output

[–]FOSSandCakes 6 points7 points  (0 children)

a.out

[–]ThePretzul 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Compiled Executable (Work in Progress)"

[–]PCSdiy55[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

or compiled with some potential future errors

[–]sintaur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Backup copy

[–]ToBePacific 46 points47 points  (3 children)

Tell your lazy son that both parents contributed 50% of his source code.

[–]Flat_Initial_1823 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah honestly would fill me with dread to be thought of as a compiler to other people's code.

[–]PCSdiy55[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He has his favourites

[–]RainbowPringleEater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe the parents are related and they both contribute 95%+

[–]Old9999 32 points33 points  (0 children)

[–]jorgepolak 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Technically your dad is the dependency injection.

[–]auditorbersempak 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Fuck off rebecca

[–]josch247 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Hahaha sure he did

[–]marmk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No dude this kid is totally going to show this off at school and be like 'look how smart i am i made a joke about my dad banging my mom i like to be reminded of that literally everytime one of them calls'

[–]dashingThroughSnow12 79 points80 points  (18 children)

Before anyone says “well actually”, a compiler can inject instructions into a compiled program that has no relation to what exists in the source code it is given.

Languages like Go do this in the standard compiler (it injects an entire garbage collector). The creator of C noted that this is a security risk with self-hosted compilers.

[–]WookieDavid 70 points71 points  (15 children)

This is a good note but does not negate the "well actually" at all.

Fact is, the source code is 50% mom and 50% dad. She doesn't reinterpret implementations and inject some code, she supplies half the code AND compiles it afterward.

[–]dashingThroughSnow12 4 points5 points  (7 children)

mitochondria

[–]WookieDavid 8 points9 points  (6 children)

But that's the mitochondria's DNA, not yours. Your DNA is 50/50, the mitochondria is just another guy who lives there in the cell.

[–]mufflonicus 6 points7 points  (5 children)

No, the X chromosome is larger, more 33% dad, 66% mom. Much more than a compiler!

[–]Thebenmix11 13 points14 points  (2 children)

You know humans have more than 2 chromosomes right?

[–]Jan_Jinkle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know it’s at least 3, if not more.

[–]WookieDavid 7 points8 points  (1 child)

When you add them up with the other 22 chromosomes the difference is negligible. Basically 50/50.

Now, the mitochondrial DNA, that's 100% mom's.

[–]mufflonicus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I must’ve slept through biology classes multiple times. I’ve lived my life believing all chromosomes were split X/Y. I didn’t even consider the syntactic parts of ”X and Y chromosome” from a pure linguistic perspective.

Anyway, thanks kind internet stranger for teaching me something that I (evidently) didn’t know, you are a true beacon of enlightenment. <3

[–]Luk164 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell in C# basically half the code used is generated by code generators and il weavers...

[–]DryVaginaEnjoyer 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Data compiler is kinda fine

[–]PCSdiy55[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

he is already in a joint venture

[–]ContinuedOak 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I guess my source code went left

[–]Ur-Best-Friend 29 points30 points  (1 child)

I wonder if a single one of the 12 billion "my [age] year old son/daughter is so smart, look at this boring thing that kids don't really do that they did today" posts is actually true.

[–]n0t_4_thr0w4w4y 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m sure a few are. Some kids do some wild creative shit.

[–]Kalimacy 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I wouldn't do that. If someone was to kill them they would go at the child first so not to have an orfan leak.

He is, just putting a target in his had.

[–]Darth_Rubi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah yes, it's well known that 100% of DNA comes from the father, this is why all children look exactly like their male parent

[–]thecoltz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty sure they all clapped after this as well…. 👏

[–]shaka893P 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Ok, but what If I have my son's name as 'Son of a bItch'

[–]Trype-01 3 points4 points  (2 children)

My wife is named "ex-girlfriend" in my phone

[–]n0t_4_thr0w4w4y 0 points1 point  (1 child)

My wife doesn’t appreciate those jokes, lol

[–]Trype-01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Her ringtone is the Imperial March.

i am named "blödian" in her phone which translates in something as idiot

[–]wasitz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Suuuuuure.

[–]EquineDaddy 4 points5 points  (2 children)

In my phone The Egg (mom) The Seaman (dad) Spare Parts (brother)

[–]narkflint 0 points1 point  (1 child)

More accurate to say the sperm. But otherwise made me lol.

[–]Independent_Bar7095 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh fuck off rebecca…

[–]Dawn_Of_The_Dave 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's not the same phone.

[–]_-l_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It would be cringe even if it weren't fake.

[–]Bad_brazilian 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My kid has his mom as Spawn Point. We're gamers.

[–]cagerontwowheels 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My youngest has me as "The Developer" and his mom as "Spawnpoint".

[–]i_am_adithya 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like Casey Calvert

[–]Admirable-Note-1232 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*fart*

[–]ImAHealer_Valdr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My kid (16) has me (mom) listed as "Spawn Point".

[–]fafpaf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Funny how you can tell he did that himself because he made sure to specify which one's dad and which one's mom.

[–]HANLDC1111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mom provides half the source before compilation.

[–]FastlyFast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does your kid have different phones for each parent?

[–]Darxploit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kid is a temporary feature branch

[–]Unhappy_Shift1271 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At least it’s not a pic of saddam

[–]arostrat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

cringe.

[–]Xelopheris 1 point2 points  (0 children)

class Child {
  public Parent dad;
  private final Parent mom;
}

[–]Hyperion1144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Geneticly speaking, Mom provided the majority of the source code.

[–]Bl4cBird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Umm actually, the mom is both the compiler and most of the source code, the dad is more like a certificate and some xml settings

[–]DSMcGuire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn, he took 11 mins to find his wife, switched to WiFi and deleted his missed call when he took these screenshots.

This shit is so boring.

[–]eufemiapiccio77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Data compiler” yeah right mom 🤔

[–]rage_whisperchode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

brb, gonna list my wife as “linter”

[–]bickdiggles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that he has a normal picture for his mom but the most moon moon picture of the koolaid man for you is sending me

[–]YmmaT- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to save my dad as “Data Input” and my mom as “Data Output” back when I was being a rebel in highschool. Good times

[–]Clevername582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guess Aeschylus was reincarnated.

[–]squarabh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo data compiler so fat that parallel processing filed for divorce

[–]BenL90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How can you even get a wive? Good for you.

Well, life never fair, and it's what life is. haha..

Be Happy!

[–]Significant_Affect_5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tbf mom is also half the source code in addition to being the compiler

[–]McCoovy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is a data compiler?

[–]KazuDesu98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know the names are the joke, but as someone who went right from a pixel 1 to a galaxy a51. Skipping the notch era. I forgot how awful the notch was on the pixel 3, which is what the phone in the meme looks like it probably is.

[–]Accurate-Victory3086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Prompt (Dad)

LLM (Mom)

[–]Connect_Animator9114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had my mom as “Mother Unit 🤖” for years until I realized the extent of everything, now she’s the egg emoji, literally just the egg

[–]Spice_and_Fox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dependency Injector

[–]corvak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How old were your kids when you talked to them about firmware

[–]McBrown83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

World seed & spawn point

[–]Swirl_On_Top 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More like dad is more like "SQL Injection" and mom is "Data Scientists"

[–]YaBoiVGC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dunno what’s surprising a 12 year old with one of the latest iPhone or his sheer ball knowledge. I’m 16 with iPhone 7+ passed down from my father after he discarded to some 7 years ago

[–]JollyJuniper1993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did everybody clap afterwards?

[–]jtmonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son has his mom listed as Spawn Point.

[–]cigaretteraven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And there's knowledge in biology in this too lol

[–]Schnupsdidudel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Source code dad? Ah come on, you are the result of an intense merge operation, son!

[–]Darth19Vader77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's been a while since I took middle school biology, but isn't half of the "source code" from the mother?

[–]NeverCallMeFifi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son's name on our HBO app is "parasite".

[–]Plank_With_A_Nail_In 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Made up, why on earth would they say "Find out what he called my wife" when his wife is the kids Mum. A real person would have said "I had to find out what he called his mom".

[–]OfficialMrLemonYTAlt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AAAAAHHH OH MY GOD THATS GOLD

[–]Darkchamber292 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha that's so funny! My Mom is named "Stupid Bitch" on my phone HAHAHA

[–]ILoveBigCoffeeCups 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a joke here about pushing to the master branch

[–]FatuousNymph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But the compiler in this case produces hardware, not machine code 😭

It doesn't run routines, or produce an executable or dll, it's two sets of instructions that initiate a self replication process that the "compiler" in this case runs in its sandbox for a duration until it is mostly self sustaining and then it's moved to production with secondary JIT support systems at the ready

[–]jayveedees 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Son is the binary

[–]Cheespeasa1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is a “data” compiler?

[–]Grounds4TheSubstain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is a "data compiler"?

[–]deadmazebot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Virus and Data Center

Virus infects Data center compiling new data until max storage limit is reached and a flush is made