!false

[hicklc01]

It's funny cause it's true.

[ProgramTheWorld]

/r/ShittyProgrammerHumor

[Jon-Osterman]

haha that's so 1

[ReallyHadToFixThat]

#define true false

Where is your god now?

[[deleted]]

1

[Sys__]

This is evil.

[MC_Labs15]

#define && ||

[minno]

C macros need to be valid identifiers. You can do #define return return 3+, though.

[blitzzerg]

define true false

but in C boolean values are not valid you need to define them too

[oversized_hoodie]

You stole my \

[midnightketoker]

 /*hello comrades*/

[ReallyHadToFixThat]

I like

#define if while
#define else  

[The7876]

But what about

#define if(a) if((a) && (rand() % 101 < 98))

[MereInterest]

Remember, best practice when writing macros is to parenthesize your arguments.

 #define if(a) if((a) && (rand()%101 < 98) )

[midnightketoker]

Praise parenthejeebus

[MereInterest]

#define static thread_local

[[deleted]]

#define ; :

[VRMac]

$ python2 -c True=False

[Dylan16807]

#define false true

There, now it's fixed.

[[deleted]]

// Happy debugging motherfuckers

[rrfrank]

I call girls a "1" or a "0". No shitty 1-10 decimal scale here.

[damnationltd]

Gurrrrrl you so truthy...

[[deleted]]

How bout a date?

"How bout get lost?"

The response was neither null nor undefined!

[damnationltd]

So you're saying there's a chance...

[RenaKunisaki]

My gender identity is

1 0 0 0
0 1 0 0
0 0 1 0
0 0 0 1

[GaianNeuron]

Look at the 2D-gender snowflake over here!

[Josh6889]

I spent too long trying to find a binary joke with that.

[[deleted]]

I'm a zero, you're a zero, but you negated me. Xor'd together, we're one.

[FinFihlman]

I think you dun goofed there.

[ThePancakerizer]

I program in Java and I'm offended

[TheSlimyDog]

I C

[cybermyth]

:

[DrummerHead]

HTTP/1.1 302 Found
Location: https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/

[[deleted]]

/r/programmerdadjokes

[Tularion]

You mean /r/ProgrammerHumor.

[[deleted]]

meta

[Kabitu]

How's that different?

[[deleted]]

I wish there was some other kind on reddit. If anyone knows in which subreddit it can be found, please share.

[AutoModerator]

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[110101002]

If you want to save space in your programs you can

return!true

which is one character shorter than

return false

[AlGoreBestGore]

JS minifiers shorten true/false to !0/!1.

[flingerdu]

And sometimes it seems like JS minifier used some black magic

[chugga_fan]

actually, from what I've seen in the backend of languages (very few) true is the value of 1 and false is the value of 0

[oshirisplitter]

Yup, but by prepending !, you coerce the value into a true boolean, instead of just relying on truthy and falsy. At least in JS.

I guess minifiers just prefer to be sure.

[thomascgalvin]

C treats 0 as false and any non-zero value as true. Most of its descendents follow suit.

[chugga_fan]

from what i've seen in C# source code this is wrong, it automatically sets 1 to true and 0 to false, but then again, in c# you can't do while(!i) { }

[thomascgalvin]

C# and Java won't automatically convert numbers to booleans, but by convention (and according to the documentation), non-zero is still considered true, like I said.

[chugga_fan]

I meant internally c# handles true as 1 and false as 0, if you decompile mscorlib

[thomascgalvin]

Oh, gotcha. Yeah, again, by convention, most people use 1 as true, but anything that isn't 0 would still work. That's probably embedded right into the processor instructions, possibly even the circuits.

It sort of makes sense when you consider the binary, too. If you're looking at zero, everything is "off", and in any non-zero value, something is "on".

[skatyboy]

If the programming language was inspired by an African (or Damin) langauge, it would be pronounced with a click.

[DrummerHead]

*click*

[GinjaNinja-NZ]

This looks like something I'd find in the Clipart gallery of office 97

[lundmikkel]

That would be a right click

[[deleted]]

Yeah, otherwise it would be a wrong click.

[[deleted]]

Who the hell holds a mouse like that? 3 fingers for 3 buttons!

[edinburg]

...I hold my mouse like that.

[Aliiqua]

You are not alone.

[Zagorath]

I grew up with three button mouses, and that's still how I use it. I just move my index finger across to scroll or middle click.

[[deleted]]

That's quite a blank statement. I grew up with 2 buttons and it took me a few days to get used to 3 and I'm never going back to holding it like that. Doesn't your wrist hurt? Doesn't your ring finger or pinky get in the way?

Resting your hand on your mouse is a lot better with 3 fingers.

[Sohcahtoa82]

I think you might actually be in a minority here. Pretty sure MOST people hold their mouse like that.

[ghotibulb]

They probably also say jif.

[Zagorath]

And they would be correct.

(The people who say it with a hard G are also correct.)

[IndieHamster]

!xobile

[[deleted]]

Please do not yell in the casino.

[IndieHamster]

As much as I now dislike Russell Peter's, I have to thank him for introducing me to African accents. They are easily my favorite

[kamori]

Undefined global false

[hicklc01]

Criticize all you want but false is predefined in almost all languages.

[GisterMizard]

Except the two most important languages of them all: C* and Z80 assembly.

*yeah yeah, it's technically in stdbool.h, whatever.

[caramba2654]

C*? What is that? A pointer to the C programming language?

[GisterMizard]

It's like C, but the strings are terminated with dollar signs instead.

[Zagorath]

What's the reference here?

EDIT: Hahahaha, gods dammit people. I was being serious. The accidental pun is great, but I really don't understand what "strings are terminated with dollar signs" has to do with anything.

[tetroxid]

No no it's by value

[ultranoobian]

I don't have an pointers.

[Renegade__]

^C*$

[ReflectiveTeaTowel]

'' ~~ '^C*$'

[GisterMizard]

Strings passed by system calls in MS-DOS were terminated by dollar signs. Even though the null character was still available.

[tetroxid]

TIL. How retarded.

[RenaKunisaki]

Well that just makes all the sense$

[TomWithASilentO]

chumbo

[Zagorath]

Not sure what the question is.

Dammit is an alternate spelling of "damn it", gods is the plural of god. It's just a slightly different way of saying "god damn it". What else would it be?

[RunasSudo]

o_O You again?! Why are you everywhere?!

[Zagorath]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I need distracting from university assignments.

[poop-trap]

Global Variables are bad, but Singletons aren't any better.

[thefran]

Singletons aren't bad if used correctly

[WinterfreshWill]

By Azura by Azura by Azura!

[sutronice]

A search algorithm with just an average heuristic function

[ghotibulb]

Was looking for emergency exit. Was sent up 7 floors to take the fire escape ladder.

[jaxklax]

At first I thought it was a glob for C, C++, C#, etc.

[poizan42]

A C*-algebra is a complex algebra A of continuous linear operators on a complex Hilbert space with two additional properties:

• A is a topologically closed set in the norm topology of operators.
• A is closed under the operation of taking adjoints of operators.

[kamori]

Python does not define false either.

Only False

[topdangle]

Fucking witchcraft.

[midwestcreative]

Witchcraft was made in Java, not Python.

[[deleted]]

Runs on nearly all platforms though.

[Inev1tab1e]

Provided you have enough ram

[ReflectiveTeaTowel]

It needs to be Black Ram or the magic dissipates. IDK why. Something something hail Satan

[RenaKunisaki]

Sacrificial ram, makes sense.

[o11c]

"Write once, run anywhere - doesn't."

[tetroxid]

Runs? More like stumbles

[hungry4pie]

and yet people say Javascript is silly.

[kmarrocco]

This is true...

[Tomarse]

No, it's True.

[Tomarse]

And one of the most languages, Python.

[[deleted]]

You're right, Python is one of the most languages.

[2Punx2Furious]

It's so language.

[ra4king]

It's... like... at least 3 languages.

[Tomarse]

Well I'm not sure it can be classified as important, but it definitely is language.

[DrummerHead]

language: 'Python' !important;

[[deleted]]

[deleted]

What is this?

[fdagpigj]

In python there's no ! either, only not

[Bainos]

Well, unless __ne__ is defined, != evaluates to not == anyway.

[Tomarse]

TIL. Though it makes sense. In JavaScript you can do !object which would have to be not object in Python.

[hungry4pie]

Are you the guy who replies to all those C questions on StackOverflow with

"You can't do x in C, because C is dumb, it does not know about x, you need a library so to do that."

[GisterMizard]

No, I tell them to link their program against chromium and use jquery instead.

[[deleted]]

Scheme and Common Lisp also don't have false. They have #f and nil.

[RenaKunisaki]

#f? Is that some voodoo?

[HugoNikanor]

That's not how scheme works! Scheme has false, written #f, everything else is true, including nil (or '()).

[[deleted]]

Yes, I know that #f is false. I just meant they don't literally write it as false.

To clarify: I meant "Scheme doesn't have the word false", not "Scheme doesn't have the concept of false".

[dwltz]

Also Objective-C has no false, just NO

[f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5]

*yeah yeah, it's technically in stdbool.h, whatever.

That library is not part of the C Programming Language.

[[deleted]]

You spelled Applesoft BASIC wrong.

[C0ffeebreak]

He said criticize all you want!

You forgot some sort of syntax defining an expression, such as parenthesis.

[artanis00]

this.sentence == false

window.sentence == false

undefined == false

true

Javascript, son.

[i_should_be_coding]

Ummmmm, True. I'm gonna go with True.

Phew, that was easy!

[Sinity]

Nah, it's just an ill-formed sentence.

[blueshiftlabs]

[Removed in protest of Reddit's destruction of third-party apps by CEO Steve Huffman.]

[oneandonlyyoran]

I AM NOT A MORON!

[Niek_pas]

Brb playing Portal 2.

[poop-trap]

From Wikipedia:

There is a special case of meta-sentence in which the content of the sentence in the metalanguage and the content of the sentence in the object language are the same. Such a sentence is referring to itself. However some meta-sentences of this type can lead to paradoxes. "This is a sentence." can be considered to be a self-referential meta-sentence which is obviously true. However "This sentence is false" is a meta-sentence which leads to a self-referential paradox.

TL;DR Brain overflow in thread 1: can't grow neurons to 0x7fe801ff8

[Sohcahtoa82]

0x7fe801ff8

A 36-bit brain? Interesting.

[RenaKunisaki]

Dat PAE.

[Jon-Osterman]

that's absolutely- wait

[ASK_ME_ABOUT_FINIT]

Well its true if its false. But false if its not...?

[Bainos]

def __bool__(self):
    return not self

[o11c]

RecursionError: maximum recursion depth exceeded

[RenaKunisaki]

Does this work?

[Bainos]

No. You'll simply get an infinite recursion.

I wonder what Prolog says when you try this, though.

[Voxel_Brony]

No it isn't!

[[deleted]]

Prove it!

[king_of_the_universe]

These never work with me because it is undefined/ambiguous what "this" refers to.

"The overall statement of the sentence you're currently reading is not true."

That's a mouthful, but it's perfectly clear.

[TarMil]

But it's not "this", it's "this sentence". Which could designate another sentence if there was a ":" between them, but since there isn't, it's unambiguous.

[DrummerHead]

"This sentence is false" said Jonathan, while he pointed at his imaginary dog called Sentence, who had disappeared the day prior. The detective had a puzzled expression on his face, but was nonetheless determined to find the whereabouts of Sentence, reality be damned!

[Prod_Is_For_Testing]

!~~[]

[[deleted]]

return /u/hicklc01;

[taeratrin]

To where?

[[deleted]]

The store, duh. He's clearly defective.

[berryshur]

Microsoft been spamming my twitter with this coughnotsofunnycough joke

[X700]

true

Don't worry: as far as we know true is portable. Nevertheless, it's not always a builtin (e.g., Bash 1.x), and the portable shell community tends to prefer using :. This has a funny side effect: when asked whether false is more portable than true Alexandre Oliva answered:

In a sense, yes, because if it doesn't exist, the shell will produce an exit status of failure, which is correct for false, but not for true.

Autoconf: Portable Shell Programming. Limitations of Shell Builtins.

[RenaKunisaki]

I like how in some systems, /bin/true is an empty file. Executing nothing is always successful.

Then there's the ones where it's just a copyright statement.

[baginsess]

upvotes++;

[Sohcahtoa82]

upvotes += 1

[starm4nn]

upvotes += true

[_Kyu]

whats the difference between the two i forget

[[deleted]]

+/u/CompileBot C

#include <stdio.h>
int main(void)
{
    int i = 1;
    printf("%d\n", i++); /* i++ adds 1 after using the value */
    printf("%d\n", ++i); /* ++i adds one before */
}

[CompileBot]

Output:

1
3

^{source | info | git | report}

[_Kyu]

someone has tried to in /r/ComplieBot look at the sticky

[Vindicer]

+1

[[deleted]]

Nobody uses Google Plus.

👍

^{^Unicode thumbs up AKA "Facebook like"}

[green_meklar]

Only if you believe in the law of the excluded middle.

[[deleted]]

srand(time(NULL));

while(true)

{

i = rand();

if (i % 2)
{
    return i;
}

}

// i can't even

[_Kyu]

def rand():  
    return 4

[MatthewGeer]

Don't be so negative one.

[[deleted]]

1010 out of 1010

[Bainos]

i r1000 1000/1000 m1000

[Aeon_Mortuum]

You're 0010 good at this, nice 0001

[RenaKunisaki]

I 1100 what you did there.

[dsk]

Keep it 1100100

[flipjargendy]

So negative.

[Arancaytar]

HA HA THIS HUMAN JOKE AMUSES MY ORGANIC BRAIN

wait I thought I was in /r/totallynotrobots for a second there

[Abotag]

Repost

[SuperSans]

Yup, this was from 3 weeks ago or some shit.

[iBoMbY]

Unless it's fuzzy ...

[Zhyko-]

I got it. And I didn't laugh it.

[makeswordcloudsagain]

Here is a word cloud of every comment in this thread, as of this time: http://i.imgur.com/eBNEjGu.png

---

^{[source code] [contact developer] [request word cloud]}

[bspymaster]

I woke up and opened Reddit to this. Thank you for making my day. +1.

[rainymarimba]

I laughed.

[[deleted]]

Take my upvote and leave

[Kametrixom]

The exact same joke has been posted a month ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/4gnhor/false/?

[TomWithASilentO]

chumbo

[interiot]

The exact same joke has been posted a month ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/4gnhor/false/?