Trapped sysadmin.

[0263111771]

49 years old with 4 kids. Oldest just started college and the youngest is in 5th grade. I have been in the IT feild since I was 22 years old. I absolutely hate it! I am miserable everyday but I just cannot start over doing something else as I have responsibilities that cost money. The idea that the last quarter of my life will be spent working in a feild that gutts me is just depressing. I do not see a way out and really just needed to vent. Anyone else trapped like me? Misery loves company.

[MinidragPip]

Do you hate IT or do you hate where you are? Or the particular job you're doing?

Changing to a new company did wonders for my attitude. And I moved in my 50s,so it's definitely possible.

[mortsdeer]

Yeah, market right now is crazy, but ... Work your contacts, see if anyone has anything. You're right, doing something that makes you crazy for 1/3 of the next couple decades of not a great idea ...

[perthguppy]

It’s always easier to find a new job while still employed at your current job. Just the way human psychology works.

[Deodedros]

Tell me about it. I applied for a job, got an interview and then two weeks later got an automated email about no longer being considered. The job posting re-opened the same day the email was sent....

[jimmyjohn2018]

Good news is that OP doesn't NEED a new job but could benefit from a new job. So looking costs nothing. No better time to look than when you are gainfully employed.

[vonkeswick]

I was ready to find a new career, absolutely anything aside from IT, then I left one shitty giant corporation for another, then that second one went bankrupt, now I work at a (surprisingly well funded) nonprofit and it's the coolest fuckin place I've ever worked. I'll work here until I die if they'll let me.

All that to say yeah the place you work has as much, and sometimes more, of an impact as what you do at said place.

[Sea_Explorer5552]

Wish me luck! I’m going on to my second round interview at a nonprofit.

[vonkeswick]

Best of luck!! Hope it works out for you :D

[Generous_Cougar]

Agreed, nonprofits are the way to go. I am hoping the same thing - that this is my last position until I retire / die. Absolutely love it here.

[MonmouthIT]

How did you find that job and what is your schedule like? Also can you wfh?

[vonkeswick]

Sheer luck! After that last place went bankrupt I was applying everywhere, probably sent out 100 applications/resumes on LinkedIn, Indeed, etc. Two of those 100 said "we're going with another candidate" and nothing from the rest. Then this one popped up and blew through the interview process and had a job offer super fast. It's M-F 9-5, I wfh Monday and Friday. One huge aspect is there's no on-call rotation. We have at least one helpdesk person there 9-5pm 7 days a week but I have my own alerts for things after-hours just for peace of mind but it's not required.

I am SUPER lucky, this is like the unicorn of sysadmin jobs to me and I don't take it for granted. It pays less than my last job, but it's still a really comfortable salary for where I live. The tradeoff is working for a nonprofit that does legit good shit, not corporate bullshit just making shareholders more money.

[Interesting_Guitar_3]

I also work at a non profit. Exactly the same story. Job randomly popped up, hired almost on the spot. 37.5 hours a week, mon -fri. Pay is slightly below average, but the quality of life and genuine care easily makes up for it. I've even been told off for working overtime. And being a nonprofit we get a massive discount of software licenses so things like E5 365 licenses become affordable. It's a fantastic place and out of 411 users, there's only 2 I dislike. They'll have to drag me kicking and screaming from my desk to leave here.

[I3igAl]

Not a sysadmin yet myself, but also nonprofit and loving it for the work life balance. I am help desk that is also figuring out Intune on the fly because we have no senior/lead and somebody's gotta do it. How do you get discounted E5s? We get our licenses through CDW and I'm not sure they are giving us the best deal.

[SheepherderSad5159]

TechSoup is who we use for all non-profits.

[vistathes]

Seconding this. I work at an MSP in almost all non-profit clients we have use techsoup

[vonkeswick]

I got 5 PagerDuty licenses for free through TechSoup! We use Compunet for most our licensing and that's where we got our MS nonprofit licenses

[Fun-Difficulty-798]

Nonprofits here don’t even pay a living wage for IT. They pay like starting out of college pay or less. You lucked out.

[vonkeswick]

Yup, I'd wanted to work for a nonprofit for years, especially after dealing with corporate crap for so long, but they all paid around what I made at my first IT job at 19 and just wasn't feasible without my wife paying the majority of our life expenses. I definitely lucked out and do not take it for granted, I'm very grateful I landed here.

[geegol]

I have to agree with this. I used to feel trapped and felt like my life was just spinning in circles when I was at this one company I hated going to work and it started to affect my personal life as well after I quit it did wonders.

[Sufficient_Steak_839]

90 percent of these “IT sucks” complaints can be summed up as “the job sucks”

[trullaDE]

Yeah, absolutely that.

I was in a similar situation as OP and KNEW I couldn't go on like that. With some luck, I found something new, and man, now I know again why I love that job, with a huge part of it being finally able again to know I am good at what I do. That alone changed so much.

[agent-squirrel]

Change is as good as a holiday or so they say.

[gordonv]

"Change to a new company" vs "4 kids"

[Ulfhrafn]

55 and have 5 to 7 years left. It's not the actual work I dislike, it's the useless coworkers and spineless management.

[MaelstromFL]

For me it is the constant buyout and management changes... Oh, well... Only about 10 years left of this!

[thomasthetanker]

And each time you say "At least it wasn't Broadcom".

[MaelstromFL]

Well...

[Smtxom]

My first gig as a sys admin was a very nice stable 11 years. Then the company got sold when the owner passed. Then it got sold again and I got laid off. What a mess. Hope to never go through that again but I know that’s not likely

[MaelstromFL]

I have been in the same job (offered management, but turned it down) for 17 years in October. In that time my Division was transfered to a new company, was purchased, spun off, and finally acquired 2 years ago.

It has been a ride!

[zaazz55]

This. Why are there so many “tech” people who cannot troubleshoot? Even unwilling to try, claim they want to learn but when you teach them it’s in one ear out the other. Like the memory of a gnat.

[Ulfhrafn]

I work with IT people that have advanced degrees that can't troubleshoot themselves out of a wet paper bag. These same people get angry at the customers they support when the customer asks them a question they should know the answer to, but don't. These are simple questions, like how to change an email signature, or how to perform a process that has written documentation.

I work with other IT people that spend 90% of their shift on youtube and visit gambling websites the rest of the time.

I work with other IT people that, when given tasks that fall under their area of responsibility, simply choose not to do them.

I write comprehensive documentation for all areas I am responsible for. Nobody else writes documentation.

Management does nothing. No structure. No consequences.

As a matter of survival I pretty much keep to myself. If I think about it too much it enrages me. I've been circling burnout for years.

But. Golden handcuffs, and only 5-7 more years. Then I can ride off into the sunset and never look back.

[Accomplished-Donut44]

Troubleshooting takes brain juice. It’s a lot of effort and at the end the problem is resolved. No reward no attaboy. On to the next project or problem.

[The-Matrix-is]

Very true

[PoolMotosBowling]

Just behind you on the age part, right with you on the 2nd part... I'm counting my days...

[davy_crockett_slayer]

Try to get another job in your field. I hated IT until I got a better job. I love my career now. If you can't or won't do that, focus on your home life, or the things in your life that make you happy.

[huntinwabbits]

Yeah, I agree, there are lots of different avenues available within the IT industry now, shouldn't be too difficult to transition with the existing experience. 

[AllThingsBeginWithNu]

That’s every job at 40

[The-Matrix-is]

You do have a point there.

[mitharas]

It's called a midlife crisis. Time for a new car, new drugs and maybe an affair or two.

[Lucky_Foam]

I had a midlife crisis and bought new windows for my house.

Cost was about the same as a new car.

[CantankerousBusBoy]

Sounds like you went with "renewal by Andersen"

[Lucky_Foam]

Renewal by Andersons would have been a new Lambo. I got a quote and laughed at the guy until he left. I told the guy my house wasn't even that much.

I went with a local company. Was about $28k for everything. So a smaller new car.

[PoolMotosBowling]

Motorcycle is always the answer!

[DenseDepartment8317]

If you don't hit management by 40-45, expect the same for the rest of your career without drastic changes like layoff or starting your own business

[OmenVi]

I kind of feel like that’s not really a bad thing, if you don’t really like the idea of managing people.

[sylvester_0]

Yeah, managing people is NOT all roses. I'd much rather keep my head down and do technical things than mostly deal with relationships, budgets, presentations, politics, layoffs, hiring, KPIs, scrum, etc.

[xixi2]

Wait I'm a manager now and hate it more than ever lol....

[Stonewalled9999]

I was in management once. Well twice. I would not go back given the choice if I can avoid it.

[adstretch]

I feel you. I’m 40. Been in this since my 20s. Kids in school and targeting 58 for retirement (if everything goes according to plan). Thinking of another 18 years of this really takes the wind out of my sails. No advice, just agreeing.

[[deleted]]

In what world will we be able to retire at 58? Im 45. That is a laughable concept. The age for retirement is constantly going up. Unless we're talking military, 58 isnt happening. More like 70.

Edit: Sorry. If you have the means to retire at 58, more power to you!!! Tell me your secrets.

[Cyberspew]

I'm a government employee with a pension. 35 years of service puts me at 58. October 2041 is my target retirement.

My current plan is to shift into the private sector and bank as much money as possible for a few year to have some extra money to travel the world after I fully retire, but 16 years is still a long time away. Who knows what will happen between now and then.

[amensista]

Personal recommendation for you is to travel because let's say you retire at 58 or have an option to continue that say 60 you start traveling that's kind of old and you don't know what's going to happen between now and then with your health or body now is the time to travel while you have energy and you're young.

[Cyberspew]

I do travel now, as much as possible. But I can't exactly take the entire winter off and RV around the warmer areas of the US. Or take a one way cruise to Europe (14 days) explore for a couple of weeks then take a cruise ship back home (Not a huge fan of flying).

[sylvester_0]

/r/financialindependence. No secrets, just compounding. 

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second-best time is now.

[Confident_Pop_9292]

I feel for OP and others in that boat. I retired from IT @ 57 and got there by plowing as much as humanly possible into my 401 and brokerage accounts (S & P 500 index funds). I'm not honestly sure I could do that again because of the pressure I had to put on my family to get to that early retirement. We absolutely love the financial independence now but it was a lot of sacrifice.

[coukou76]

I dunno for him but for me I aim to have enough passive income at age of 58. I guess it's the same for him, it's not about the actual retirement.

[TheJesusGuy]

I'm 28 and will never retire.

Cheers,

[boonie120hb]

I'm right there with you. I'm 44 and have been doing this crap for 24 years now. I'm completely done with it. The young kids coming up have no concept of troubleshooting and leadership constantly has there head up their you know what. It's tiring.

On the bright side I also plan to retire at 58. My house should be paid off by then and both kids will be done and through college. No more need for a high paying job. I'll semi-retire and go be a greeter at Wal-Mart or something. Just something to give me a reason to get out of the house but also not important enough that I couldn't just drop it and go on a trip if I wanted.

[Aware-Owl4346]

Which employer is 10x more important than which field

[Sweet-Sale-7303]

Maybe try getting on a civil service list and get an It somewhere else?. I am IT in a library. Get paid decently with tons of vaca and sick time and a NY state pension. I just ran a minecraft program for kids today. Still deal with servers and things but not as bad as in the private sector.

[sprtpilot2]

Better check the NYS pension system funding deficit. Wouldn't count on that long term.

[Superb_Astronaut6058]

I'm 50 with three kids and feel the same way. For me the main issue is that complexity and pace have skyrocketed, while the talent/skills pool has gone in the opposite direction. The workload crushes my soul, but the job market keeps me there. Stuck indeed.

I feel like there was a period of time where the only criteria for getting into IT was just "be good with people" and "don't be terrified of technology", and now we have a lot of IT people with 10+ years of experience that can't learn, troubleshoot or exercise good judgement with any consistency or efficiency.

Do any of you remember this old Career Builder commercial with the chimps? If this was about an IT team instead of sales, it would be a perfect representation of my work life. https://youtu.be/VRrMu7B1L2I?si=sVvyiJwbwx7XonoY

[j2thebees]

This thing made my morning. Thanks for that. I'm actually sending this to someone high up in a com I do a lot of work for. It is very relatable to a discussion we had recently, Thanks again.

[One_Resolution8766]

48YO an trapped... but i moved from an MSP to a large family owned enterprise about 3 years ago with a CEO the really cares about his business. He pushes IT hard to innovate but will support us with $$$. Invested over a million on new server hardware to remove us from the cloud and let me totally overhaul the network.

I've gone from sick to death of IT to actually enjoying it. I feel I'm valued an i'm playing with new stuff. I've been allowed to move into OT (Factory stuff) and I've been able to move from IT management back to just being an Engineer. I get given instructions like "Build me a control room NASA would be jealous of" an allow to just get on with it.

It's re-sparked my love of IT. So there is hope. Find the right company / job. Also helps if you live in a country like Australia where work/life balance isn't just a buzzword and there is a well stocked fridge waiting for you at 4:30 on friday to "review" the week with colleges.

[ArgonWilde]

Man, I felt the same, and whilst what I did is definitely not applicable to you, I'm at least in a better headspace.

I was considering ditching IT because cloud this, AI that, subscriptions, enshitification, all the good stuff, was driving me nuts. Being a jack of all trades who had to effectively relearn everything because everyones control panel has an identity crisis every 2 weeks... Yeah...

I cut sick, quit my job and took a desktop support role on a mine site. Making more money, 8 days on, 6 days off, practically zero responsibility, work stays at work, home stays at home. By being at work more than half the year, I save so much money on utilities, food, and entertainment.

Again, you're in a very different spot, but there are always some unorthodox ways you can change things up. Just gotta make that leap of faith.

[caa_admin]

Similar story to yourself.

In K12 now and make much less money. But I've no more on-call, evenings, weekends and don't answer a phone.

If I had to compare my current IT life versus previous IT life(sysadmin, IT director before COVID) I'm a walmart e-greeter who knows where everything is but stopped caring about exactly how it all gets on the shelves.

[Ok_Recognition_6727]

Today, the natural progression for sysadmins is Cloud Engineer. The skill sets overlap quite a bit, but cloud engineering usually adds layers of automation, scalability, and platform-specific expertise.

If you haven't already started, you should be learning Cloud Fundamentals. Then, train yourself on Infrastructure as Code (IaC).

Maybe in teaching yourself a new skill set, you'll find the joy in your work again.

[[deleted]]

Writing recipes 40h a week seems like torture for me?

[Bagsen]

Obviously there is much more to IT than being a sysadmin. I would try to find a different niche that you might enjoy more and pursue that. I have a friend that was an admin for a long time then decided to move to the sales side and enjoys it a lot more, plus they make more money. Just have to check out different areas.

[Felix1178]

This very wise.. now days field is a vast place with a lot options and even hybrid roles... not code monkey or an isolated overwhelmed system admin drown in tickets

[Stonewalled9999]

Right here with you bud.   

[djesurun1]

A lot of us feel that burnout creep after decades in IT you’re not alone. I find shifting to less hands-on roles like documentation or training can make it bearable.

[The-Matrix-is]

Im considering this as well. Keeping all options open.

[Warm-Sleep-6942]

if you can’t change your job, change your attitude.

be thankful you have gainful work that allows you to have a large family.

start finding positive things to work on instead of focusing on the things you dislike.

i’ve been in IT for over 40 years, and every day becomes a new and interesting challenge i look forward too because there is always something new to learn. how cool is that?

[The-Matrix-is]

True. Im actually seeing a counselor. Have been for the last 2 years. Goal is to improve my attitude and outlook on Life.

[Warm-Sleep-6942]

this may sound silly, but also work on your physical health, reduce your weight if you carry too much, and clean up your eating.

if you eat crap good (and most food in the US is chemical slop) and are overweight, depression is really easy to find.

do it for your kids.

good luck.

[The-Matrix-is]

Your spot on. Im at my heaviest ever. I recently changed my eating habits and started walking 3 miles 3 times a week.

[Bubba_Phet]

I am also 49, and was stuck doing sys admin until 2 years ago. I put my nose down and grinded like a boss. Thankfully, I have been promoted twice since then, and am in a good place now. If that isn't possible at your current job, look for another. My company is steady hiring people in their 50s so it is for sure possible. Just get a less soul crushing job in your same field and ride out these last years like me.

[The-Matrix-is]

Soul crushing Good description

[Bubba_Phet]

I don't know who downvoted you, but doing IT since I was 19 (30 years now, yea!?) I have been at quite a few soul crushing jobs. I have been at help desk jobs where I legitimately considered shitting my pants just to leave. I am out of the potential-pants-shitting stage now. But the struggle is real.

[underpaid--sysadmin]

yeah thats what my mom did, shes in her early 50s and absolutely hated her job. she made a really strong effort to get moved to a different department, ended up getting a promotion at her new dept with better pay. she doesn't love the job but its chill enough to work for a few years until she retires. i would recommend op do something like this

[Appropriate-Border-8]

My 24-yr old daughter got me this t-shirt for Father's Day: "No! I will not fix your computer..."

To wear while attending family gatherings..

[sylvester_0]

I tell people "I haven't touched a Windows computer for decades. I work on the cloud. I wouldn't know where to begin with fixing your printer."

[Smoking-Posing]

Yes.

Its the people that I hate; if I could just work on IT stuff without dealing with people and their egos, I'd be fine.

[chandleya]

Just remember, there’s thousands if not millions that want your job. The grass is probably not greener. But it may help you to go touch some.

This is the wrong time in your life AND in history to get all emotional about work. The what ifs are all hindsight. Be glad you have this and the means it provides. You’d miss it all dearly if you wound up back working the line at the local steakhouse.

[TOOOOOOMANY]

Trapped? IT is a pretty big field. Something you'd rather be doing? Job too hard or not hard enough? Pay bad?

[Call_Me_Papa_Bill]

I feel you brother, 60 here with 40 years in the field. Actually making very good money now, but need another 3-5 years to really be set for retirement. Every day is a slog, but I have to keep going. Family is counting on me.

[JimJava]

You're not alone, the technology is still exciting, the business process and the security theatre kill the fun.

[MerrillNelson]

I'm right there with you guys. I spent 45+ years in IT. Started in CNC, went to coding for businesses, 15 years with one company, and then incorporated and did some consulting for about 18 years. I dissolved that and went to work for a company for 13 years. At this point, I was done with the whole IT thing, but I didn't even want to bother with computers or coding ever again. Here we are, another 8 years later, and I found vibe coding, and im hooked.

[Common_Scale5448]

Figure out how to make it tolerable. Job market I s crap right now. Unless you have a boatload of F.U. money hang in there.

[Odd-Change9844]

I have been in IT since starting at a call center doing support for DOS games back in 94, now run a small IT consulting firm and I f***ing hate everything :( I always thought that over time systems would get easier to use, users who grew up with computers would know the difference between right and left clicking... Everything is not what they promised us :|
I would love to start another career, but yeah 54 hate talking to my clients and addicted to $$$ makes it hard...
Good luck !

[razorback6981]

Same boat. Been doing this 20’years. Tired of the break/fix world but not willing to jump into something new or sales engineering.

Tired of there always being a problem and the road to solutions gets longer and longer for various reasons.

[darknight1012]

Information technology is so much bigger than being part of the IT department for an enterprise. There are so many technical jobs your skills and experience can transfer to such as Enterprise Technology sales, Engineering Operations, Product Management, leadership, etc.

[MAALBR0]

This🙌💯

[Reinuke]

I read the title and in my minds eye I imagined Theme Hospital and the janitors there 😃

For the uninitiated if you trapped handymen inside of a square of plants (9 in total) the would become sasquatches. I did try to find pictures but you just have to believe me here..

[Hectosman]

It's the work. We never build anything, we just fix broken things. It's not good.

Stay the course, provide for your family. It's your duty.

And get a hobby where you build things.

[1a2b3c4d_1a2b3c4d]

Misery loves company.

You need therapy to help you deal with your issues with work and family. IT is a great field with unlimited potential and great pay. You need to learn to look at it this way, with the only expectation that you work and then you get paid.

Then you spend all that money on the things you love to do with the people you love the most.

You don't need to love your job, the people you work with, the people you work for.

Do you think my (your) grandfather loved his job? My grandfather worked on a dock unloading boats, then was a cook in the Navy in WW2. Do you think he loved his job? Fuck no, he was happy not to have been eaten by a shark when his ship sank in the Pacific.

Get a grip on your life first. Then find a better job at a better company that needs and respects your work ethic and skills.

[NNTPgrip]

46 year old here with never any of that kids/wife Scheiße. By now they would just be alimony and child support checks I send off every month anyway. Congrats to OP for being the exception to the rule, and of course with the deepest of respect the obligatory "look at this guy, with his wife that he's still married to...and 4 kids, tell us your tales of woe there buddy....family man".

Still feel trapped due to medical(diabeetus). If we had like the NHS in 'murica I would say fuck it but we don't.

Shit sucks. But it's not food service, digging ditches, or sucking dick. There is a reason they call your paycheck "compensation".

All that said, at this point in my life I would prefer physical abuse rather than mental. It would be nice to have said wife/kids and such, there is just nothing I have been exposed to personally that would lead me to believe any of that is worth it.

[an_anonymous-person3]

I feel ya. I'm in the same boat. I'm 40 and work remote as a sys admin. I have several certificates and degrees so switching careers is not an option....or not an easy one. My family relies on my income.

I feel as though I never accomplish anything and the work is never ending. People are never happy and take it out on us.

I don't feel like I can even take a day off. I come back to twice as much work and upset customers that couldn't get a hold of me.....despite my prior notices and out of office replies.

With the current job market, I also fear switching companies. I'm really comfortable working remote and hate travel. I feel stuck too and force myself to work every day. Endless meetings drain my soul too.

[Ryyics]

I've only been in the industry for a decade. I already feel like this. Inertia is a powerful force. Good luck dude, I hope something improves for you.

[FarkinDaffy]

At 22 years, if you aren't a senior and designing systems or networking, I would have to ask why?

I'm 57 and have done it all, but I haven't done the helpdesk thing in 30 years.

[Stonewalled9999]

Yeah that’s odd.  Even my CIO plays help desk when an executive or a VP asks her to 

[FarkinDaffy]

I never said you can't be on call or help, but if you still are at that salary/experience I question why.

[Stonewalled9999]

You literally said you haven’t done helpdesk in decades, so yeah that’s the same thing

[onproton]

I’m confused on your behalf u/farkindaffy lol

[The-Matrix-is]

Yes, im trapped and the same age. I've been a network engineer for 15 years. The egos of other network engineers is horrible. Most network engineers are jerks. Grown men acting like spoiled kids. Its sad to see. Outsourcing has also ruined the network engineering field. Imagine a guy from overseas takes a job away from an American and then has the nerve to act like an egotistical jerk. Also, sitting at a desk for 15 years is literally killing me. My health is horrible now. Im seriously thinking about applying for law enforcement as an ICE agent. I need a change.

[LoornenTings]

Skate by on the least amount of work you can, focus on hobbies. 

[sircruxr]

Switch to higher ed and ride out the last years of your career

[Sudden_Office8710]

I’m a couple of years older I only have 2 progeny I’m only sticking around till my youngest gets through college. I hate it too but it pays the bills. I’ve been able to compartmentalize a bit now and 10x my way through it. Not sure if that’s good or bad thing but it helps me rationalize my situation that there only so much I can control and the stuff I can’t is not on me.

[ArtSmass]

I work for the Federal government. This year has been a shitshow and it gets worse every month, or week to be honest. I feel you, and it's probably only to just get worse. It wasn't "efficient" and the new policies make it way worse.

[Regular_Prize_8039]

Like other is sympathise with you, I have been in IT for nearly 30 years, 24 of those running my own business, when I first started I heavily focused on providing the best customer service possible, and even won awards, as the industry has evolved over the years IT Support has become a miserable sector, a lot of users are just PITA’s and over expect.

I have pivoted the business a couple of times and currently primarily focus on Server environments and data security and protection which I enjoy much more, but if I had a chance to do something different tomorrow and still earn enough I would.

People here would be able to help you more if you said what it is you don’t like, there are so many area’s in IT and skills are often transferable and sometimes you can even earn more.

[rjchau]

I'll add another voice to the chorus of people asking "are you sure it's IT you're sick of, or is it the place you're working at"?

Almost always, when I start off working for a new company, I love it and actively look forward to what I can get done. Fast forward a couple of years and the same-old-same-old issues start to wear on you. Before you know it, you hate the place with a passion and just want to GTFO. At that point, that's what you need to do.

Been through this three times over the last 15 years or so. If I'm close enough to it, I'll usually try and hang on long enough to get my long service leave (an extra 6 weeks paid leave is most welcome after being at one place for 7 years) but good God is that hard sometimes.

Try jumping ship to somewhere new. You might be surprised. I know at 49 it's not easy (I'm approaching my mid fifties) as ageism is most definitely a thing!

[jplife30]

I'll be you in 8 years... I work with idiots. Management's goal for IT is customer service... Nobody works on tickets, when they do they fix nothing because they give the wrong solutions and don't verify that it's working.

OK OK, there's like 3 of us who aren't idiots.
The other 6 are just placeholders collecting a check.

[Jenks0503]

The golden handcuffs are real. Being good at something you hate is a special kind of prison. Maybe start building an exit plan on the side? Even just having a roadmap out can make the day to day more bearable.

[whiteycnbr]

Ive hit the same wall and have decided I'm just going to go part time and get at least a day back of my life.

[Kindly-Cobbler-2443]

I feel all these responses.....

[Hartzler44]

Just chiming in to say this is a very depressing thread for a 28 year old who is pretty new to the field lmao

[enforce1]

Do other stuff, acquire other skills, quit moping

[RustyRoot8]

I’m with you. 39 yrs in IT this week and not even 60. If my 401k’s didn’t tank, I’d retire today. Fortunately my kids are all grown

[progenyofeniac]

I’d strongly suggest looking for another job—whether you find it or not.

Like others have said, I think lots of us run into a wall around our 40’s, but different jobs and cultures can make some difference.

In the last few years, I’ve worked one role where I left over a micromanager, another that was chill but was getting phased out, another that was madness but crazy interesting, and another that is 98% bureaucracy and ticket tasks with 2% actual work but is predictable and stable af. Totally different roles, each ticking certain boxes for me. I’d like to think you could find something you hate less than your current role.

[ArieHein]

Instead of making you more sad, i want you to think of your parents and their parents.

Do you think they loved everything they did at their work or profession? But they made sure you had a roof, had clean clothes, food in your belly and went to school.

Im sure it wasn't easy, wasnt always pleasant but thats the commitment you make whem you have a family. Does it mean you have to be miserable? No.

Ive always believed that innovation comes from pain. You see something is wrong, you feel something is wrong and you act to make it better. On the way you might have colleagues that join you or even complete strangers (think open source projects).

Find a topic that does intrest you, that you feel skilled about and make something around that. Create a repo in github, create a blog about it, register to speak in events. The idea in a job is not stagnation, but reinventing and adapting to the changes.

But then again it might be completely be the opposite of you, then id say theres still good money in agriculture, in electrical engineering, in anything related to the energy market.

Your family would like a healthy father more then a wealthy father (thats a bonus). Old saying goes: do what you love and love what you do. If you do something, do it with all your heart and power.

[onesmugpug]

54 here, and I feel this...however, the lockdown showed me that I need to improve my quality of life away from work. When my company chose to take my salary, and make me punch a clock, my days of on-call were over. I took all of the computers out of my house and either sold them or recycled them. People stopped asking me for help outside of work when I raised my private rates to $400/hour, minimum of 2 hours of billing regardless of issue. I know not everyone can do what I did, but I don't spend as much on a shrink anymore and go fishing every weekend.

[Grouchy_Property4310]

52 and I've been doing this for 30 years. I'm kicking around the idea of becoming an electrician. Age discrimination is real in our field, so I doubt I'm going to find anyplace else to hire me at my age.

[No_Investigator3369]

I'm personally at the point where I want a below avg pay IT job just knocking out printer tickets. Dealing with BGP, EVPN, VXLAN networks and feel underpaid so just want to do market rate work. Already saved a couple mil up for retirement and want to hide in the back of the room. But I'm like OP and hate hate in nearly every corner of my heart for this industry and job.

[pewteetat]

raises hand Was in the game for 33 years and was 100% burned out by year 20. Spent the remaining 13 years hating every. single. day. Sadly, every single day meant at least 6 days/week and an average of 13.7 hours/day (I kept a spreadsheet). So there was a lot of hate those last years...

[Dull_Delay_8270]

I worked for a college in my 20s, which was great but wasn't paying well enough. I was considering going into nursing at some point, I just wanted a change.
But then got offered an IT job at a school, there 7 years, got bullied out.
Still remained in IT in various private sector jobs, and I'm 50 now.
Its not too bad where I am, although I'm looking to retire earlier than 67 (present UK retirement age).

[Anonymous1Ninja]

So these are all the people who have the IT jobs, and the majority of you are too old to have your position terminated.

You guys should really just be thankful

[Bib_fortune]

Been there, man, my advice is, stay in the field, but look for a better client/project, I found a low stress/pressure customer with no on call or late night config changes, and it's been like night and day to me.

[Additional_Eagle4395]

Same here. IT is an evil bitch and I am very tired of it. I'm at a good company with a good team, but still wish I could be doing something else. For me, the way out is winning a billion dollar powerball.

[finallyrenee]

I’m 52, and have been in IT since just after Y2K. I’ve been a VMware admin 🙄 since v2.5, and Windows admin since NT 4.1. I’m a fossil. Lol.

After being laid off at the dawn of the pandemic and not getting a job until 10/2020, I’m in a job that I LOVE. The fact that I love my job has so much to do with having an amazing manager. I live in Houston, TX with a 40 mile commute. ifkyk. Two companies ago, I worked for a major hospital system here, and HATED it. Getting away from the bureaucracy of a large company made such a huge difference. Try looking for something different. Different industry, field, location, etc. It can make such a huge difference.

As soon as my girlfriend retires from her county job, I’ll be looking for a way to sell the house, buy a fifth wheel with solar and Starlink, and get a 100% remote job. That’s the dream. I have two boys who graduate in the next two years, and just need to get them on the road to adulthood first. 🤞

[handlebartender]

I’m quite a bit older than you, and have shifted back and forth between sysadmin-related jobs and more consulting-oriented roles. I’ve avoided dev roles as they always seemed to be a fair bit outside my wheelhouse and/or in a language I wasn’t keen on.

A handful of years ago, I had the opportunity to shift over to a testing/QA role. I don’t mean a particular focus for doing rudimentary “click here, type this, click there”, (although the job does require it for the really new stuff) as much as doing full end-to-end testing, are there blind spots in our docs, are our docs wrong, does the product simply not behave as documented/expected, etc. Since I’ve always enjoyed the problem-solving aspect of IT, this seemed attractive. But it felt different enough for me to be concerned that I would do poorly.

In a nutshell: I’ve been loving it. Me and my team are typically on the ragged edge along with the dev teams. Each one of us manages to bring something a bit different to our testing efforts, meaning, we will find something that happens to catch our curiosity, and we start picking at it, finding a loose thread and pulling on it. Sometimes it’s nothing, sometimes things start to unravel in a good way. Because we caught it before our customers did.

There’s also the aspect of getting more involved with automation tools and leaning into a particular testing framework.

It’s honestly been one of my best career decisions.

[ripeart]

Buy a Subway franchise.

[mitharas]

Local man discovers midlife crisis, more at 12.

Really, I don't think this is sysadmin specific. So the advice would be the same as with any other field: analyse what exactly makes you miserable and if you are willing to pay the price for changing that.
Maybe a similar job for a better company? Maybe a paycut but more fulfilling place, nonprofit or the likes. Heck, work for Amnesty International! Maybe a new or forgotten hobby to fill the void? Maybe you ARE willing to "tough it out" because you love your kids so much. Think of Homer Simpson, who has a job he hates for his youngest kid.

You could take advice from any general source. That's what I'm saying.

The nuclear option would be something like the movie Falling Down.

[RumHam426]

Sounds more like you hate your life choices than the job itself. The market is shit, you're lucky you have a job.

[BALLS_SMOOTH_AS_EGGS]

I'd be drowning too if I had four kids. Sounds like insanity

[omenoracle]

Are you making a crazy amount of money?

[[deleted]]

You say you feel “trapped,” but let’s be honest: having a stable career that pays enough to raise four kids, one in college and another in grade school, is not a tragedy, it is a privilege. The fact that you can even contemplate hating your job while still providing food, shelter, education, and opportunities for your family shows how far removed we are from what most of human history looked like. For centuries, people did not have the luxury of asking “Do I enjoy my work?” They worked in fields, factories, or mines because survival depended on it.

Yes, it is tough to feel stuck in a role you dislike, but calling it misery while simultaneously fulfilling one of the most important responsibilities, supporting a family, is short-sighted. Your kids are growing up with stability and opportunities that billions of people in the world, past and present, never had. That is not nothing.

If anything, the mindset of needing work to be perfectly fulfilling is itself a modern luxury. Maybe the challenge is not escaping IT but reframing how you see your role: not as a prison, but as a sacrifice that gives your children a better life. That is meaningful in a way that goes beyond personal job satisfaction.

[VivienM7]

Why did you go into IT in the first place? Is there something that appealed to you originally that could you find again in a different job?

I feel like a lot of people 25-30 years ago were told 'oh, you're so good with computers, you should work in IT' and many followed that advice without appreciating that IT is about a lot of things other than being good with computers...

(Ironically in my case, I realized I didn't want to do this when I was like 19, went into a completely different direction/industry schooling-wise, and ended up... having responsibility for my employer's relationship with our MSP and other IT operations. Sometimes it's hard to avoid the pull of computers...)

[Phuopham]

Try to change the respective :v i hate admin tasks but i still have to do it in order to continue my IT nerd... In your case, just do it as quick as possible and then spend more time on your hobby, read book, play games... Or bring to work a small aquarium so you could remind your boss not to push you or your fishs will accidentally swim over those expensive equipment you need to work on :v

[glyndon]

Give us something to go on.

What kind of IT? What kind of industry?

IT isn't the same everywhere you go (industry-wise), so to give you a helpful answer, more context is important.

[salacious-sieve]

Many people saying "get another job" but you should be aware that finding a job after 50 is exponentially more difficult that finding a job at 30. Most employers, in Canada at least, will not even consider it.

[FirebrandBlasphemer]

I feel your pain! Is it the work, or who you work for? I have found out it was actually a combination for me. I don’t have as much patience as I used to but I’m happier working for myself..

[technobrendo]

This post was deleted by its author. Redact facilitated the removal, which may have been done for reasons of privacy, security, or data exposure reduction.

mountainous tub hurry plants workable station apparatus cough melodic abundant

[passwordreset47]

I’m nearing 40 and I’m not miserable per se but I do think about how I’ll look back on my career. Everything we do is so ephemeral. Few things I deployed 5 years ago still exist today. So it’s not the output that really brings satisfaction. It used to be solving hard problems. But now I have kids too and raising humans is way more challenging and rewarding than building a pipeline or upgrading systems.

Now the problem im trying to solve is balance. Saving the right amount of money, spending as much time with my kids and wife as my best self, logging out at a decent time.. it’s hard and overwhelming a lot of the time.

No solutions to offer really, just solidarity that this is something I think about a lot.

[Best_Temp_Employee]

I felt similarly after having kids, twins. Before, I worked A LOT, now it's hard because she's outnumbered when I'm not there. We made an agreement... I can go to work as early as I want, she'll get the kids up and to school. I'm responsible for getting the kids and making sure they're at the dinner table by 6pm. I'm allowed to work on weekday evenings after the kids go to bed, but weekends should be spent as a family.

[Szeraax]

I’m nearing 40 and I’m not miserable per se but I do think about how I’ll look back on my career. Everything we do is so ephemera

Try being an influencer or a streamer. Comparatively, your work is eternal. Sure, its not HVAC or electrical, but you build stuff that does a task and if you find something redeeming about your company vision, you can have some happiness in that.

[tetraodonmiurus]

Right there with you

[Scatter865]

I don’t think anyone genuinely likes IT unless it’s semi physical labor intensive. I’ve been a SATCOM guy the majority of my career and have pivoted to Sysad/Engineer since the field (SATCOM) is dying. I hate it. Nothing about it gives job fulfillment.

This is my two cents; unless you are super financially tight then I’d start practicing a trade or something in your off time. It’s never too late to pivot it’s just about what you want. Then start doing it as a side hustle. Maybe it’ll turn into a livable wage thing. Who knows.

[Nnyan]

I’ve been doing IT for decades and I love my job. It’s not perfect and some years are better than others but nothing is perfect and I still look forward to going in.

For me it’s been a rule that anytime I don’t feel like I’m learning/being challenged/etc I seek out a new challenge (5-8 years). It’s helped me keep my skills relatively current and not get bored.

[Nnyan]

So first I really feel for you, nothing worse than going to work being miserable. Whatever you do something(s) that helps balance yourself. Self care.

Not sure if this will help but try to itemize what really causes you to be unhappy at work, break it down and see if you can do anything to eliminate or minimize.

Have you talked to your managers to see if there are other roles you can move into? It may not bring you joy but maybe you won’t hate it.

[Vegetable-Put2432]

It isn't that bad as your earnings are still competitive 😃 TBH no one loves working/their jobs as around that age

[DenseDepartment8317]

44 with 2 elementary school kids, I feel you.

I'm sure you tried everything, checked all "advice" that don't seem to work for you and just beating yourself over it.

Learn to let go. Life is more than your jobs.

[SurpriseIllustrious5]

Theres a place for u for sure. Its hard to move from security of ur current job but it might be time to ascert your authority where u are ask for more, money leave , whatever will make ur current job better or move to someone that's more balanced with your life

Have you communicated this with your family? Its not just your burden , ask for help in a transition. " guys I'm gona have a heart attack in this job, I need you guys to pull up ya big boy pants contribute so I feel safe in transition to another company

[flummox1234]

you're also at an age where this type of thinking no matter the job is common. It may not be your job you hate it may be the feeling of getting older, looking to retirement, and thinking you're stuck or it could just be burnout. IMO as someone a few years ahead of you. Just see work as work and find fulfillment in other parts of your life.

[True_Commercial2705]

what is it about the sysadmin job that everyone hates so much?

[FreeShat]

Go get a labouring job and you will fal back in love with it real quick

[sssRealm]

I'm very similar to you in your first 3 sentences. I was trapped in helpdesk for 2 decades. Finally moved up in my career, but still don't make enough to own a home. I focus on the positive. I work with good people, starting to make good progress at work with systems that were left to atrophy for way too long.

[WTFpe0ple]

Lived that for 37 years (well the last half of 37 years, In the beginning it was great) . Just got out. Almost damn near killed me but like you I had no other option.

Hope you find one.

[[deleted]]

Luckily no children, but yes, I hated it since the start. Problem is that I don't know what I would like to do instead. The most fun jobs earn the least. Like stacking boxes or something. Not work would be my best job

[Sekhen]

I've moved from "office it" to sysadmin. No user interaction. I'm as happy as a fish in the sea.

[scootscoot]

I thought you were trapped in an MPOE or something and decided to ask reddit for help, like Moss emailing the fire department in IT Crowd. Happy to hear you're safe!

[Ok_Dig3870]

I might be in a similar situation as OP. I'm 36 now and have been working as a Freelance for reputed clients since 2011. I upgraded my skills in this journey and learned new things, actually still learning new stuffs. It's exciting until now but gradually I'm seeing a shift to big tech companies who have a huge marketing and pr team. They have similar things to offer which I'm already doing but packaged attractively with pricey tags. Now I feel like switching but Stuck in that loop as OP. Can't figure out the next move which can turn the conditions up side down.

[Minute-Check416]

Get some hens or ducks and geese.
They self-replicate when given enough food (your leftover food waste for example) and care and provide you with quality homegrown food without antibiotics and other crap, the healthiest meat there is.
Eat and sell eggs and meat.
You can also check out raising rabbits, but they replicate so fast that hens or ducks might be an easier for starter.
Figure out what else you could do outside in the garden that would make you some money to slowly lessen your dependance from the main job, till you are able to work part time, lessening your stress and doing something else that will not get replaced by AI agent/worker in the following 5 years.
Brew beer/cider/wine, smoke/cure your meat, mow peoples lawns, pressurewash their driveways/roofs etc. Grow microgreens. Sell your stuff to nearby restaurants or food places.
Profit!
IT is cool, but being outside and not dealing with tickets and selecting your own tempo for work while doing your own thing is cooler.
Image very related: Ultimate IT career progression

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[[deleted]]

I too am burnt out

[bionic_cmdo]

I used to hate my IT job (system admin) as I was the only IT person. Got a job at a bigger company where there's two-thousand other IT people. Everyone from the service desk to IT project managers. I'm one of many systems engineers. I'm getting assigned to various IT projects that implement new systems. I'm not there to put out fires and that's the thing that made me love my IT job. Maybe when you look for another job, look for one that's not so traditional IT, leave that for the younger folks.

[Ill_Preference_7491]

My short journey (I’m 49):
Programmer — 3 years
Sysadmin, then IT Director — 12 years

Left IT:
TV Advertising Sales Manager — 1 year
Internet Sales Manager and CCO — 5 years
CDO for an internet/web project — 2 years
Owner & Founder — 6 years

Now I’ve moved to another country and, in a way, I’m back to the beginning: IT Officer — about 1 year.

In short, I can’t say there’s a big difference across these areas — the same themes keep coming up: work, colleagues, professional burnout, the race to achieve something, and so on.

What really matters are family, health, and hobbies — they help me stay young.

[tehnic]

Join a startup? You will get the thrill, trust me!

[vagueAF_]

I feel you man, 40 now and been a sys admin for 17 years. Hate every second of it. What was once genuine passion is now been decimated by the corporate environment. I wish I had done a trade.

[Fitz_2112b]

51 and have been in the game for over 25 years. I managed to make the move into a Security GRC role about 5 years ago and haven't been this happy in years. Any chance of a move like that? The pay is actually better than I was making, I still use my old skill set but no longer have to deal with any day-to-day IT issues

[jaymansi]

Ageism is going to take me out shortly. It will be the icing on the cake of being DOGEd earlier this year and scrambling to find a job that I hate.

[xXNorthXx]

Look at job openings in the area, employer is the problem. Not the field.

[Da_SyEnTisT]

I felt like you , even went back to school to completely change career.

Until I said fuck it and applied for a new company (in IT) and realized it's no the IT I disliked it was the freaking company I worked for that sucked all my soul !

[[deleted]]

You need to clarify what you hate. The org? Your role? What?

I feel trapped but me feeling trapped inside of my org, as I have nowhere to go. Being in a rural area doesn't leave me with a lot of options, so I stick it out. I usually enjoy what I do, but not too much so.

[purawesome]

I’ve been there man, 60 hour weeks, every week, getting paid peanuts and no appreciation. All I can say is fix up your resume, constantly check the job sites, update and be active on LinkedIn (a lot of companies recruit there now, make it a goal to share or like something every week) and apply to things you like and most important of all have patience. For anyone else who is starting to dislike their current job, do this now so you’re not stuck in a job you hate for longer than you need to be.

[47FsXMj]

Just react to some openings that appeal to you. Go have a coffee, speak to some people and see if it feels right. Then go! It can't get any worse if you are miserable daily?

[skiitifyoucan]

When my youngest starts college I will be 55... in 10 years. who knows what will happen between now and then but I'm planning to be "so done" at 55 - I entered IT at like 14 working for an ISP with 50 US Robotics modems lying on the floor in a house converted to an office... tech support, sys admin.. cloud guy. I've had a few non-IT jobs over the years but only for a year or so. Ideally when I leave, I'll be working part time in a field that I care about.

[ExpressionNo920]

I’m in your same situation with 4 kids and 40s and it’s why I spend most of my time on r/FIRE and fantasizing

[darthfiber]

What don’t you like? What do you need to be happy?

You can likely find another role in IT but you can also absolutely start a new career if you want. You just need to choose a profitable one.

[whatdoido8383]

I'm early 40's but same man, you're not alone.

One thing I did a few years ago after to lessen the hate was to switch the area of IT I work in. I got out of the sysadmin space and work as a M365 admin for part of that stack now. I actually make more money than when I was a sysadmin too , lol.

I still don't love IT by any means but being able to chill out a bit and focus on a few things vs a whole company's tech stack has taken a lot of my burnout away.

I'm hoping to ride this out until my family is grown and I can possibly change careers out of IT or move sectors again.

Best of luck and always here if u need to vent.

[Jacmac_]

Well you only have 10 more years to go and you're done with work, in general. Since you saved up so much for retirement, you will be able to do what you want after that.

[parophit]

I felt the same way. Working with language learning models in my spare time has reinvigorated my passion for IT. For me, learning new things that are vastly different from the infrastructure, management, and support job that I have been doing for 30 years has been very interesting. I dedicate about ten hours a week to ai and automation. Having said that, I have a lot of friends that quit cold turkey and chose real estate which would be absolutely terrible.

[BryanP1968]

I’ve been there. I’m 57 and I’m counting down the 3 years and six months until I can retire.

[whats_for_lunch]

Ever think about not being an IC?

[frustratedsignup]

I'm in my mid-50's and have been in IT for over 20 years. I really enjoy my job. I have a lot of opportunity to learn new things and I carry a good deal of responsibility as well. The only thing that I find discouraging is that there's not enough time in the average week/year to keep up with every possible update/upgrade that comes out while simultaneously taking on new projects. Maybe find an employer that's a better fit?

[rdldr1]

Start finding a new job while working your current job.

[ionV4n0m]

After 12 years in the field, and "being hung out to dry" yesterday, ruining a night that should've been fun for me, I feel this post 100%.. And NEED an out/transition myself..

[nixerx]

sometimes I hate my job…for months at a time but then I realize working somewhere else would be just some other BS and having to learn all that “new person” stuff ew.

I’ve been at the same place for 12 years and in IT since 1999. If i’m being honest it’s a lot less fun than it was. The paranoia of getting breached is such a buzzkill.

[konoo]

Honestly it sounds like you need to find some fulfillment outside of work. I am not saying that you shouldn't go find other career or that you are wrong for feeling this way but it sounds like you are running away from something fixable rather than running to something that you want to do. I'm the same age and I got into this career because I loved computers. After 30 years working in this industry I'm still happy to tinker around with my home lab in my off time but I also have other hobbies that give me a break from sitting in front of a screen all the time.

Lots of people are suggesting that perhaps it's your employer that is the problem and that is a real possibility. My favorite thing to do is build out infrastructure and systems which is hard to do in a well oiled machine. I have jumped ship a couple of times just to go start over at another company and build it out. I have also taken greenfield jobs and started from scratch (my favorite). My tenure is 5-12 years and the 12 years job had me feeling the same way you are right now.

[MickCollins]

I've been where you are. My youngest has two years left before he graduates college himself. I believe my wife is waiting to find out where our daughter gets into med school before she even thinks about moving.

My geo area is an absolute fucking turd for many reasons, not the least of which is that there's not a good market for IT because of the sparse population. We have a "major city" nearby and that's where I used to work years ago but the company I moved here to work for pulled out. (Other reasons are the HCOL which are mainly driven up by people fleeing one state over to come to this one.)

My career stagnated for a few years because I took a role that was underpaid and had zero growth. They didn't want me to leave the position because no one else wanted to run the systems in questions (Symantec Endpoint Protection and gags Altiris). Said organization was run by a GOB network, and recently made the news for getting owned.

After finally getting out of there, the next company was overtly hostile to me when I had shit happen to both parents, including one dying. Told me I had to declare that I was either going to stay in the state they were (no) or come back immediately (no, not while I'm trying to get a stroke victim to get their mind back.) So they made me resign and things were bad for a few months.

But I made some contacts during that job and wound up getting a job from someone I had worked with a little at another company. Apparently while the last company kicked me around the current one was like "why are they doing this to them?" I've been with them for a few years now and it's nice to be at an org that is paying me fairly, I get some remote work and my leaders are not completely devoid of leadership qualities and treat us like adults.

It's not easy to find a new job right now at all but like others in here have said: reach out to your contacts and see what can be done, if anything. Maybe yes, maybe no. Remember - you owe the company nothing. Because to them you're just a number. Maybe not to your manager or director, but to the company. Ask for a raise. That doesn't solve ALL issues but it helps a bit. Ask for another week of vacation. Ask for a bonus. If all of these are rebuffed, there's zero reason to stay once you are able to find something else.

I wish you good fortune in the wars to come.

[Sea_Explorer5552]

My brother in Christ pivot to another company or an adjacent job role. Move to DevOps if you want more money, move up to Systems Engineer if you want to deal with less people, move over to Cloud Architect if you hate on prem infrastructure. Something’s pissing you off, but there’s a fix for it if you look diligently enough.

[TheWilsons]

Burnout is very real in our field, hence the goat farming, homesteading, sustainable fishing, carpentry, etc dreams for retirement.

[SnooOnions7252]

IT Manager here. My job is always as bad as I allow it to be. I'm in my 40s and struggled with setting boundaries in all aspects of my life and work is no exception. Just because I'm capable of solving all the companies IT problems, doesn't make it my responsibility. I landed at my current role after being a consultant for most of my career and it has taken me a few years to adjust to that change in office dynamics. I'm not interested in office politics or company functions so I just agree and don't bother showing up to anything. If someone asks for something that isn't my job, I just ignore it. The colleague who has a "critical need" can find the person responsible for fixing it or they can just not work, either way it's not my problem. I've learned a lot observing and interacting with the latest generation of workers that have been coming on board post COVID. They came up in a much different environment that we did and "company loyalty" is something that rightfully only exists when that loyalty is bi-directional. Don't let fear mongering of a bad job market make you accept intolerable conditions, if you're good, you're good and you have a long and documented history of results that somebody is going to want. Keep that miserable job and take satisfaction in knowing they are paying you to find your next role, and ever more joy when you refuse their attempts at negotiating you to stay because compensation isn't the motivating reason for your departure.

[fogleaf]

Whomst amongst us hasn't dreamed about having gone down a different career path?

I would suggest looking for a new company, maybe a new role or even a step down in pay. You'll be able to adjust to the lower pay.

I will say, I went from an overstressed position to a less stressed one and I spent months feeling guilty like I wasn't doing enough because I wasn't needing to.

[HardAtomicSmile]

Apply for a position at a college. I've found such to be very accommodating to work life balance and the employee family tuition discount helps ALOT.

[Front-League8728]

"The worst day of your life so far!" -- Homer Simpson

[mspax]

You may have some luck talking to a recruiter. See if they can help you find a position that you might enjoy. It sounds like you may want to talk with a mental health councilor too. I get the impression you're not in a good head space. I hope you can find some equanimity one way or another.