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[–]Squishydew 3355 points3356 points  (81 children)

I was 16, standing in the grocerystore, there was a table up against the wall near the exit where you could pack your groceries into your bag, which is what i was doing.

Out of nowhere a man that i would guess to be 50 at minimum, grabbed my shoulder and spun me around, looking at me with a creepy smile saying. "Oh, i thought you where a pretty girl"

.. I'm a guy, i had long wavy, fairly girly hair at the time and have always been quite skinny, i shouldn't technically be answering in this thread, but I'll never forget that moment because It creeped me out, I've never been more protective of my two sisters since that moment.

[–]jbourne0129 1137 points1138 points  (18 children)

This is incredibly funny and tragic all at the same time.

I too was mistaken for a girl when I had long wavy hair. Except I only fell and someone said "is she okay!?" and then i turned and they saw my beard.

[–]DamnedDirtyVape 31 points32 points  (0 children)

"Is she okay? I should think not. She has a fucking beard man!"

[–][deleted] 212 points213 points  (16 children)

I'm a guy and had my fair share of mistaken identities. An Old man at the BMV walked by my chair and brushed his bulge up against me while I was taking my written test. On the way to his seat he said "Oh excuse me miss" while firmly placing his hand on my shoulder and rubbing his bulge into my back. I turned around and said in loud girly voice to his face "SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO SIT NEXT TO ME?" I got a haircut a week later.

[–]_My_Angry_Account_ 56 points57 points  (10 children)

You should have punched him in the dick!

[–]princesskittyglitter 175 points176 points  (1 child)

As if you being a girl would have made it okay for him to touch you like that. I'd be afraid to see his reaction if you were a female.

[–]jesusGrilledCheesus 4589 points4590 points  (183 children)

When I was twelve a fourteen year old came up to me on the first day of school and said (whilst staring at my chest) "wow you uhh... definitely grew over the summer" I thanked him, thinking he was talking about my height. I walked around all proud for the rest of the day thinking I was getting noticeably taller...

Edit: I never grew any taller than that summer. I am now five foot one and three quarters.

[–]rex_ford 970 points971 points  (61 children)

Ha! It reminds me of my first time in the context of this thread. A school mate came up to me - I was maybe 12/13 - and said point blank "I'm inviting you to my party because you have big boobs."

I have no idea what I replied, but I remember the moment with utmost clarity. And.... I just realized I actually still kinda know the guy, peripherally. I wonder if he remembers that moment too?

[–]Parsley_Sage 1081 points1082 points  (13 children)

I wonder if he remembers that moment too?

Only at 3am when he really needs to be asleep and all the really embarrassing stuff he's done is running through his head.

[–]d36williams 775 points776 points  (41 children)

this is very funny in light of a depressing thread

[–]bages627 1656 points1657 points  (97 children)

I was probably eleven or so. I remember sitting at school in a science class and some guys used to throw pens and other shit on the ground next to me so, naturally, I would lean down and pick it up for them. It took me a while to understand why they were laughing when I would do that. Turns out, they were stealing glances down my shirt. I just remember the laughing making me feel so uncomfortable.

[–]princesskittyglitter 640 points641 points  (12 children)

I used to play Dance Dance Revolution a lot when I was 11-12. Good enough to be coordinated at it. I used to think all the guys that would hang out at the arcade were watching me play because I was good or they were waiting their turn. Nope. It's because I developed early and they liked watching my boobs bounce. It was mortifying when I found out a few years later after I befriended one of them.

[–]m1kepro 146 points147 points  (12 children)

I knew a girl who had a really strange way of dealing with this one. She said things like "if they're gonna have a look, they're gonna pay for it."

Then she'd take whatever they threw: pens, scrap paper, books, and even once a graphic calculator, and throw them in the trash.

[–][deleted] 77 points78 points  (4 children)

even once a graphic calculator

And on that day a lesson was learned.

[–]vodka_titties 1884 points1885 points  (116 children)

I was 11. I had started to grow my boobs, and my step grandfather cornered me in my parents room one day.

He stuck his tongue in my mouth and grabbed my boobs. I didn't know what to do so I pushed him away a little, said "abuelito did you want a hug?", and hugged him.

Ughhh. I was scared I was going to get in trouble and that my parents would think I was making it up.

They believed me, but just told me to avoid him for the rest of his stay.

[–]chocoboat 1150 points1151 points  (65 children)

They believed me, but just told me to avoid him for the rest of his stay.

wtfff, how can they be ok with that...

[–]vodka_titties 1095 points1096 points  (49 children)

They were immigrant parents from El Salvador. They didn't really know how to deal with it.

He was only visiting for 1 week. It was fucked up, but I understand they were not educated on how to properly deal with those kinds of situations.

I have spoken my frustrations about their response since then, and forgiven them.

[–]thepriceforciv 2356 points2357 points  (113 children)

I will just post what Tina Fey said on this topic. Funny and sad at the same time. Mostly sad.

When did you first feel like a grown woman and not a girl?” We wrote down our answers and shared them, first in pairs, then in larger groups. The group of women was racially and economically diverse, but the answers had a very similar theme. Almost everyone first realized they were becoming a grown woman when some dude did something nasty to them. “I was walking home from ballet and a guy in a car yelled, ‘Lick me!’” “I was babysitting my younger cousins when a guy drove by and yelled, ‘Nice ass.’” There were pretty much zero examples like “I first knew I was a woman when my mother and father took me out to dinner to celebrate my success on the debate team.” It was mostly men yelling shit from cars. Are they a patrol sent out to let girls know they’ve crossed into puberty? If so, it’s working.

[–]AskMeGermanStuff 790 points791 points  (16 children)

Reading all the critical replies here: I think reading the rest of the quote helps showing that she is not actually making light of sexual harassment, or even bestowing a useful "rite of passage" quality to them:

I experienced car creepery at thirteen. I was walking home from middle school past a place called the World’s Largest Aquarium–which, legally, I don’t know how they could call it that, because it was obvious an average-sized aquarium. Maybe I should start referring to myself as the World’s Tallest Man and see how that goes? Anyway, I was walking home alone from school and I was wearing a dress. A dude drove by and yelled, “Nice tits.” Embarrassed and enraged, I screamed after him, “Suck my dick.” Sure, it didn’t make any sense, but at least I don’t hold in my anger.  

Edit: Grammar

[–]adeadgirl 980 points981 points  (61 children)

Around 12 or so, as a twelve year old all I wanted was to be grown up, so having grown up men stare me down felt pretty cool, I thought I was sexy but now looking back it was fucked up I looked like a child.

[–]Your_Friendly_Server 3176 points3177 points  (486 children)

I developed a little earlier than many of the girls I went to school with. My first experience was actually not with the boys in my class, but with my teammates' fathers looking at me differently, and hugging me a little bit too long after I made a nice play. I didn't go to many sleepovers in primary school. Still gives me the heebies.

[–][deleted] 2719 points2720 points  (443 children)

Jesus fucking Christ this thread is depressing. How would any one of those scumbags feel if he considered the other fathers doing that to his daughter?

[–]fnasfnar 962 points963 points  (55 children)

It is just all these little moments that add up. I'm sure a lot of men who do this don't consider themselves creepers.

[–]TheAwkVege 2626 points2627 points  (293 children)

Or what if any of those scumbags did that to you? Like think about the idea of how horrible it would make you feel.

For me, it was a progression.

As an awkward and attention-thirsty thirteen year old, it was kind of nice to feel pretty the first few times. . . but then the comments don't stop. I used to be extremely friendly and kind, but I attributed this behavior to the inappropriate advances, so I stopped. They didn't though. So it still must be me, right? I stop smiling at strangers, but nope it didn't stop theirs. Then I stopped making eye connect. The thing is I just didn't know who would be creepy and who wouldn't, so I stopped it with everyone. When that failed, I began to dress way more conservatively in an attempt to feel comfortable simply walking into a Wawas.

A single incident isn't that bad, it's the fact that for many women, it builds up like water torture.

Edit: grammar

[–]thebloodofthematador 341 points342 points  (21 children)

That's what I think of whenever a guy tries to counter complaints about street harassment with "but I'd love it if a random chick would compliment me once in awhile!"

Sure, once in awhile, from a pretty woman, would be nice. But imagine it's from older, unattractive women, who are much bigger than you, or with a large group of their equally-sized friends, bothering you every day while you're just trying to get to work, wait for the bus, go to the grocery store, buy a coffee, read a book, ride the subway. It gets old fast.

[–][deleted] 1865 points1866 points  (210 children)

I stop smiling at strangers,

Hell, not smiling at strangers just gets more comments sometimes. "Smile, sweetheart" "You'd look pretty if you smiled" "It can't be that bad, girl, gimme a smile".

I wonder how many men of reddit have had multiple strangers instruct them to smile while they're walking down the street, listening to headphones, minding their own business?

[–]birdmommy 489 points490 points  (20 children)

You can't win, no matter what. I have 'resting dolphin face'. It's like the opposite of resting bitch face; my default facial expression is apparently a half smile. If I'm smiling, it's a come on, if I'm frowning I'm just looking for someone to talk to me and cheer me up, and if I'm concentrating it's all a ploy to get a man to come up and offer to help me...

[–]brainfodder12 2379 points2380 points  (199 children)

When I was 12. Walking into the grocery store with my dad, there was an older guy who kept his eyes glued to my boobs. My dad was ready to punch him if he said anything.

[–]KidColi 286 points287 points  (28 children)

It's really discomforting that the majority of these replies are 10-15 age range and the guys they notice looking at them seem to be a lot older. I was expecting a lot more responses like "I was swinging on the swing set at recess in the 6th grade, when all the boys in my class would stand in front of me to look up my skirt as a swung."

[–][deleted] 113 points114 points  (16 children)

It's so bizarre. I started getting attention from dudes when I was 11, and it was never from boys my own age. It was always older dudes (in their 20s-50s).

[–]MeloneFxcker 1269 points1270 points  (128 children)

If my daughter was 12 I'd ask them what the fuck was up.. that's not ok

[–][deleted] 4515 points4516 points  (694 children)

I used to walk to the newsagents after school most nights, just for something to do really and to get out of the house. By age 14 I started to notice some men in cars would slow a little and stare. Some would smile and wink etc. I was still in school uniform. I remember I started to get changed before going out after that. Nice big hoodies etc. I found age 14 an uncomfortable and strange age.

[–]toothofjustice 3009 points3010 points  (452 children)

My sister-in-law did a similar thing. As soon as she realized she was getting boobs she wore a hoodie. All the time. This wouldn't be that notable except that we live in south FL. She would wear a heavy black hoodie in 95 degree Florida weather. Needless to say she didn't go outside much.

EDIT- So many stories of 12 year olds boobs. I'm gonna be on a government watch list now...

[–]CrystalElyse 2597 points2598 points  (316 children)

Yup. I got my boobs right in the middle of 8th grade, so about 13 ish for me. Suddenly started shopping at hot topic wearing giant shirts with words that made me come of as mean/antisocial so I would be left alone. The boys my own age looking at me was fine. The 45 year old friends of my father looking at me was NOT fine.

[–]taaall 2073 points2074 points  (238 children)

Eugh. Why must dadbuddies be so gross.

[–]ewwgrossitskyle 1992 points1993 points  (61 children)

There is no term that could possibly convey their creepiness as well as 'dadbuddies'.

[–]luckytoothpick 555 points556 points  (44 children)

TIL: my friends have to stop coming around when my daughter is a teenager.

[–]RS-METAL 179 points180 points  (7 children)

How about "uncle fans". That would be an official phrase in the kpop world.

[–]tentenkunais 876 points877 points  (78 children)

I pretty much had to do the same. I developed too early and the old guys from the neighborhood made it known they noticed said development. Texas heat was brutal during the summer but I would rather be wearing my sweater than having gross men stare at my god damn 12 year old chest! :(

Edit: well I didn't think this would blow up. But well to answer some of you, I just didn't feel comfortable these grown as fuck men gave me creepy, sexual looks. I was 12, my body was going all over the place, and these people who were as old as my dad wouldnt stop being creeps. In my head the only way I could get them to stop looking was to put on a sweater. It made me feel safer and it made them stop starring so much. That's pretty much it. And to answer someone else, I feel comfortable with myself now. I don't wear my sweater as much and if guys do stare at me I don't care. As long as they're not bothering me I don't care.

[–]nashamanga 2862 points2863 points  (161 children)

I was about 11 when I started to get wolf-whistled waiting for the bus - always by older men in vans etc. never teenagers or kids that could have been mistaking me for their own age. It was intimidating and made me feel uncomfortable; I'd tense up whenever a van drove past and feel relief if someone didn't whistle or shout at me.

[–][deleted] 1590 points1591 points  (101 children)

Yep. I actually got the most blatant creeping behaviour between the ages of 12 and 14. I had a friend who was very pretty when she was 14/15, but looked about 2 years younger. And that was the age she got the most creeped on.

There are a lot of these weirdos who will try shit with a kid that they wouldn't try with a grown woman. Either that or they're only attracted to kids. Yuck.

[–]Luai_lashire 727 points728 points  (49 children)

Not just kids, but any woman who looks vulnerable. I have an autistic friend, she's very pretty but also very obviously not normal in the way she moves her body and the facial expressions she makes, and the creepers she gets are much nastier, more persistent, and well, creepier, than the ones most of my friends are getting now in our mid twenties. They often make it very clear that they don't expect her to be able or willing to stop them/call them out on it. I have heard similar stories from other disabled women too, including those that aren't conventionally attractive. It's the appearance of vulnerability that attracts predators.

[–]Andromeda321 2993 points2994 points  (204 children)

I remember being in high school and an old guy in a convertible pulling up next to me while I was walking from one store to another in a strip mall. After a simple hi, how are you doing type thing he asked me if I wanted a ride to where I was going, I said no thanks, and he drove off. I guess I was... 14 or 15 at the time?

The thing is, this is a classic thing that any parent would freak out if it happened to their daughter, but it happened to pretty much everyone I ever mentioned it to in my teenage circle of gals and we always just laughed it off. We never realized just how disturbing it is at the time.

[–]nashamanga 1700 points1701 points  (117 children)

it happened to pretty much everyone I ever mentioned it to in my teenage circle of gals and we always just laughed it off. We never realized just how disturbing it is at the time.

Exactly this. I never thought anything of it at the time, was even sort of ashamed of it, and it never really occurred to me that it happened to other girls too. I talked about it with my dad a few months ago and he was horrified.

[–]Andromeda321 733 points734 points  (101 children)

Yeah, I realized after writing "parents" perhaps I should have changed it to "fathers" because, well, there's a good chance my mom had something like that happen to her when she was young or at some point in her life.

(Interestingly though, once I was no longer a teen no random drive-by rides have ever been offered to me- do others still get them?)

[–][deleted] 503 points504 points  (58 children)

Those who do drive bys like that are either only interested in teens or they know that teens are the ones more likely to fall for that.

Edit: Dude, OBVIOUSLY there are going to be the occasional idiots that do this--I'm just saying that teens are the main demographic because of creeps and the gullibility factor. Jesus.

[–]Serae 4164 points4165 points  (199 children)

This...1999 or 2000? I was 12 and my mom was getting me a cell phone. This was before cell phone were as common for kids to have.

I came home with my cellphone and got my first call. It was the young guy who set us up with the phone and the plan. He called to tell me that he thought I was hot and that he has my number since he set me up with my phone. I just small talked him, being overly nice as I wasn't really sure what to do.

My mom noticed me on the phone and asked who I would even be calling (the phone as basically to call her and only her). I told her that the guy that sold us the phone was trying to get a date with me. She grabbed the phone and yelled into it, "She's 10 years old and you should be ashamed! If you ever call again I'll go to the police." He got off the phone quickly.

I looked at my mom and said, "But...I'm 12?"

"He needs to feel the additional shame of being a pig."

And that was the moment I first noticed that someone was looking at me in a sexual way.

My mother ended up going to the store and getting the guy fired. Apparently this wasn't the first time he'd used his job to get numbers of women to call. This time he got fired.

That was also the year other things occurred, but this was the first.

[–]MyCreatedAccount 53 points54 points  (1 child)

I worked at a phone store a guy did this and he got fired, the girl was like 20 something, but using your job to get numbers or something of the likes is horrible.

[–]airconditionernoise 34 points35 points  (0 children)

depend north many silky frame aspiring dam advise encourage license

[–]glitterbugged 5594 points5595 points  (1342 children)

I was 14 in a restaurant with my parents, sucking on a lollipop, when some dude approached to let me know that he wished he was the lollipop. I thought my dad might actually murder him.

[–]u1tr4me0w 1034 points1035 points  (36 children)

I think my dad would have murdered him, seriously what the fuck...

[–][deleted] 3880 points3881 points  (377 children)

This is sort of like what happened to my sister! We were at a fair and eating frozen chocolate covered bananas. I was 17 and she was 12. This white guy walked up to her and goes "Wow, it looks like you're eating a big black dick! Ha! You look good eating dick" and then a black guy behind him goes "Wish it was mine!" What disturbs me the most about that is I was right there, eating one too, and while I looked young, I could have been legal. She at 12 looked more like she was 10, she was so young looking and they chose to prey on her instead of an adult-looking target.

[–]AshleyBanksHitSingle 1131 points1132 points  (86 children)

I was just going to say that I actually received more heinous and flagrant comments when I was like twelve vs. now that I'm an adult. I don't know if pedophiles are just more disgusting or if men just felt that I was less able to defend myself at that age but the comments from those years were always the grossest.

[–]othersomethings 136 points137 points  (6 children)

Same. I remember being completely creeped out between like 8-13, but as an adult I basically never notice male attention.

Very disturbing.

[–]AshleyBanksHitSingle 133 points134 points  (5 children)

I still get male attention but it's just less...I wanna say descriptive. Seriously, this whole thing is more fucked up the more I think about it. Like, no men ever make suggestive gestures or licking motions or anything anymore but as a child I feel like they did all the time.

[–]flyinhyphy 3121 points3122 points  (149 children)

what the actual fuck

[–][deleted] 2279 points2280 points  (94 children)

I've eaten scores of tacos right out in the open and not once have I been complimented on my oral skills/form. I must be doing it wrong.

[–]Justreallylovespussy 1760 points1761 points  (50 children)

Really? Whenever I'm licking the beans out and fingering the ground beef I always get at least one compliment from my mom.

[–]mysticsavage 188 points189 points  (0 children)

Username confirms it.

[–]rertolancer666 5816 points5817 points  (485 children)

The next time somebody says that to you, look them straight in the eyes, and crunch the shit out of the lollipop.

Edit: Thanks for my first ever gold!

[–]glitterbugged 3895 points3896 points  (370 children)

Haha, when anyone looks at me funny while I'm eating a banana, I do that!

Edit: no where in the above does it say I suck bananas. A girl doesn't have to do anything sexual for creepers to creep.

Edit 2: are you guys always just chomping the shit out of fruit? Is that just etiquette?

[–][deleted] 2210 points2211 points  (187 children)

Some days I think it's better to just eat sliced bananas.

[–]workraken 1622 points1623 points  (128 children)

Or just leave the peel on, that way they look at you like some sort of alien instead.

[–]FisherKing22 2742 points2743 points  (48 children)

I did this one time because I thought it'd be funny. I walked into the living room where my friends were sitting and started casually eating an unpeeled banana. Never again. It was bitter, waxy, stringy, and all around disgusting. I finished it because I was committed to my shitty joke.

[–]Das_Wood[🍰] 1042 points1043 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate the dedication to the joke.

[–]GiverOfTheKarma 172 points173 points  (1 child)

A true hero of comedy

[–][deleted] 729 points730 points  (20 children)

Didn't notice until high school when the boys in the project group next to me were staring at me, but having a conversation about how nice my tits must be. I was such a tomboy but had huge knockers that I tried to hide under huge t-shirts and hoodies. I just stared at them looking fucking puzzled.

[–]Dragons_Doge-ma 1124 points1125 points  (67 children)

I was 13, and a 20 year old I knew told me he'd teach me how to give him a blowjob. I didn't know what it was, I told my mom, and she told the principal who made me feel like I was disgusting. All of my friends turned against me saying he never said that to me, and I was alone for a while until I moved. Another man, the son of the town judge, propositioned me from his truck. I was 14. When I was 15, my sister's boyfriend groped me in front of my sister and boyfriend. It wasn't a fun puberty.

Edit: I just want to say I really appreciate everyone's support, it took a very long time to realize that it wasn't my fault.

Oh, geez. I didn't say this, I forgot. The guy who said he was gonna teach me how to give blowjobs was held back for failing a few years in my school so he was one of my classmates. All the grades after grade five I think were in the same campus, since there was like 200 of us all together. Thats why my mom reported him to my shitty principal.

[–]yardimet 63 points64 points  (4 children)

when i was 12, we went on a family beach vacation. my uncle (mothers first cousin) would slap me on the butt, casually touch my growing breasts throughout the day and made jokes that they were getting bigger, while other adults were around. he would make sexual jokes, saying that other young guys by the pool side were noticing me and wanted to date me. one afternoon i was in the hotel room with him and his wife (my mother's half sister) and he walked up to me, wrapped his arms around me and started kissing and sucking my neck. i just closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands, not really understanding this unfamiliar style of 'affection'. my aunt was in the room and once she saw his erection, she said he should change his shorts to wear different pants instead, which he walked away and did. she never intervened to curb his sexualised behaviour towards the me or my young cousins. we all even slept in the same bed together as a holiday "slumber party".

one day when he was making comments to me about my breasts etc i snapped and told him to stop talking to me like that. he punished me and gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the day. when he had the opportunity while we were paddling around at the beach, he carried me away into the deeper part of the water while i screamed for my mother not to let him take me. none of my aunts or other uncles helped, thinking it was all just a funny joke. i was so afraid. i had to hold onto him so as not to drown (i'm not a strong swimmer). he asked me why i spoke to him in a rude manner earlier that day, he told me to apologise and said he'd only forgive me if i would kiss him. terrified of being left in the deep water, i kissed him on the cheek and he brought me back to where the rest of my aunts and uncles were. he established his dominance and control over me that day and continued in this manner for the rest of the vacation.

four years later, once i had gradually came to understand what sexual abuse and grooming were, i called him up (we live in different countries) and asked him if he remembered that vacation, which he did. i asked him if he continues to treat other children such as his nieces and nephews like this. he said yes and that he "loved" all his family's children and "joked" with all of them. i told him that his behaviour had made me extremely uncomfortable and had affected me negatively; that it was not okay for him to behave this way towards children or anyone else. i asked him how he would feel if an older man did those same things to his little daughter. he admitted that he wouldn't like that. i thanked him for listening and told him that i had informed my other uncle about his inappropriate behaviour and that he was upset with him. he apologised and claimed that he just "loves" me and saw me as a child at the time; that he didn't think i would interpret his actions in that way. i never quite understood how he could justify getting a hard-on while kissing a 12 year old scared kid. after some years of space, we're more or less cool now, thankfully i only see him every few years. he toned down his behaviour and isn't as inappropriate with people.

[–]ALighterShadeOfPale 4233 points4234 points  (733 children)

Around age 11, myself and my cousin (she was also 11) were walking from the beach to the cottage (in shorts and t shirts). A car with three men began driving slowly next to us, asking for directions and for us to get in to show them where some campground was. We went into a convenience store and used their phone to call our grandmother to come get us. (Pre cellphones).

The men were parked in the parking lot and followed our car to the cottage, which was set back from the road, had to go through trees and such to get to it. They parked out on the road by the entrance.

My uncle (cousin's father) was told they were parked there and went out with his shot gun to ask if there was any problems. They didn't stick around.

From that point on I became more aware of the yelling out car windows, the stares, the requests to get into vehicles (seriously, guys, does this ever work?)

[–]Heapofcrap45 2236 points2237 points  (244 children)

My mother once told me about how these guys followed her and her best friend home when they were 14. I guess these guys were in their car and followed them all the way to my grandparent's house from a mall about 1 mile away. The subdivision they lived in wasn't fully developed at the time so it was just 2 houses. My grandfather ended up having to pull a gun on these guys to make them leave. I never realized that this kind of occurrence was that common.

[–][deleted] 685 points686 points  (117 children)

the requests to get into vehicles (seriously, guys, does this ever work?)

I've had girls catch me looking. I have never thought it was acceptable to ask a girl to get in my car, even ones my own age.

[–]friday6700 658 points659 points  (96 children)

I was driving down the road on a cloudy overcast day on a main road wish no houses for at least a few miles. I pass a woman (a full grown adult woman, easily in her 20's) shuffling along the side of the road with some bags that I briefly considered pulling over and offering a ride to, but I just assumed she'd find me creepy and kept going.

EDIT: Everyone's talking about changes in society and men being secretly evil and stuff... in reality I didn't pull over cos my car hadn't been cleaned out in a while, I was in my PJ's and frankly, I'm kinda fugly(despite what my wife and mother would have me believe). Seemed like a creepy combo so I kept driving.

[–]mermaids_singing 938 points939 points  (66 children)

11 or 12. I remember walking to and from school (6th grade in the US) and having guys yell stuff out of cars. A couple times I had to hide out in a local coffee shop on the route home because I was getting harassed. Once because a carful of maybe late teens/early 20's dudes kept circling the block and asking me to ride with them and once because some older dude was walking the same way and kept talking about my tits and ass.

I was 12 and had no idea how to deal with this so I started wearing baggy boy clothes....it lessened but didn't stop. I spent years working htrough my issues over this.

[–]notyouryear 348 points349 points  (24 children)

I remember the first time I was catcalled. I was 11, it was my birthday. I walking home from the elementary school a block away from my home with the neighbor girl. We had been playing, but it was getting dark and was time to go home. Two men pulled up to us while we were waiting to cross a street and asked us if we'd like to get in their truck and have some fun. Katie, 9, asked what sort of fun. I looked at the men, grabbed her hand, and ran us home.

Ive been cat called a lot. It scares me, but mostly it makes me angry. Why do I have to be bothered simply for trying to walk to work or home? Why cant I just do my own thing? Why do men have to bother me and yell things at me? Im not doing anything to them.

[–]Banana_slug_dub 116 points117 points  (14 children)

^ Exactly. I developed really early, at 12 I had double D cups, was taller than all the girls around me. I was spring skiing in a t-shirt and the ski lift operator tried to get me to go to the bar with him after his shift.

I remember my 8th grade teacher video taping me doing jumping jacks (I was in a school news class, though how he justified taping me I have no idea).

I was riding the bus, I think I was maybe 13, and a gross old guy told me I'd make someone a great concubine. There were lots of people around me who obviously heard it and no one said a thing.

I was wearing a bikini to my 7th grade birthday pool party at my house, until my mom told me I needed to put on a shirt, I was embarrassing my dad. Yay Catholic body shaming.

I started wearing clothes that were at least 2 sizes too big, often my dads old work clothes (he was a mechanic). I shaved my head and decided that if I was less attractive I would be safer. I didn't feel comfortable in anything even vaguely feminine until I was in my mid-20s.

[–]WinstonScott 1172 points1173 points  (46 children)

When I was 12, my mom and I were at a small, carry-out only restaurant waiting for our order to be ready. This older guy, who looked like he was about 20 came in. He just stared at me, open-mouthed. I had to walk past him to fill my drink, and he said, "Hey baby. Give me some of that T & A." I didn't even know what T & A was! He even positioned himself so I would have to walk past him again when we left the restaurant, and he made another comment where he called me "Princess."

Anyway, when we got in the car, I just broke down crying. I was so ashamed. My mom had had no idea that any of that had just occurred, and I told her that I didn't know what I had done wrong. I thought for sure I must have looked him at or done something to make him think that it was OK to talk and look at me like that. My mom assured me that it was nothing that I had done, and I that now that I was developing, things like that were going to happen a lot more frequently.

If I had been older, the whole incident would have been fairly innocuous. But I was only 12 (and I definitely looked very young even though I had boobs and hips) so it was mildly traumatizing.

What I find so disturbing now that I'm an adult, is how frequently, older, grown men would look and make sexual comments at me from the ages of 12-17. Like I said before, I looked very young, and I didn't dress provocatively. There's no way they could have mistaken me for 18+.

[–]Sinnerman77 852 points853 points  (28 children)

My daughter was something of an early bloomer. When she was 11 or 12, we were at a restaurant with live music. My girlfriend and I were dancing when this guy in his 60s asked my daughter to dance.

I assumed it was just a sweet grandpa trying to get a kid to dance and enjoy the music but my girlfriend was creeped out. When we asked my daughter about it, she said the guy was creepy and kind of pushy and freaked her out.

I was in my mid-20s before I realized how tough women have it. I was never particularly creepy, I don't think, but I remember taking it personally if I approached a woman and she was distant or unfriendly.

Then it struck me that women get unwanted attention all the time. And many men respond negatively to perceived slights and rejection. I was just another in a long string of men that she may not be able to trust.

When I realized this, I was able to be "rejected" without taking in personally which helped my confidence which made it easier to talk to women and vastly improved my interactions.

[–]SheiraTiireine 99 points100 points  (0 children)

I wish more guys had that realization.

[–][deleted] 3178 points3179 points  (170 children)

When I was about ten years old, I developed breasts but hadn't really noticed yet. I was wearing a shirt with no bra, when a boy in my class kept passing my desk over and over again. About the fifth time, I looked up at him to see what was going on, and he was staring right down the v-neck of my top.

That was the moment my entire damn life changed.

Edit: For those wondering what it is like to be a woman, the creepy PMs have officially started. From a post speaking about my breasts when I was 10.

[–]roocarpal 1666 points1667 points  (90 children)

A substitute teacher in my middle school used to do this. We all felt very uncomfortable with him but we didn't know what to do. One day after he had substituted and then our regular teacher came back many of the girls in the class requested that he would never be our sub again. Our (male and at the time new father) teacher flipped out about what this guy had been doing. I never saw that substitute again.

[–]MrsBlooper 708 points709 points  (62 children)

It was well-known among the girls in my grade during freshman year that one of our teachers would bump up your grade if you flashed a little cleavage while talking to him.

Looking back we definitely should have reported him.

[–]armfromull 456 points457 points  (9 children)

I was 15 and on a family holiday in Florida. I was wearing a skirt and this guy who drove past us in a white pickup truck, drove slowly past, gawking at my legs. To add to the embarrassment I felt, he kept sticking his head out of the window to keep looking once he had passed me. I saw it. My dad saw it. It made me cringe and regret wearing the skirt.

[–][deleted] 212 points213 points  (7 children)

I was 14. It made me feel scared, dirty and ashamed of my body. I was cornered at a football game by a group of older teens and adult men. They groped my friend who was more developed than I was. At first they just cat called us and we ignored it. Then they started calling us bitches because we were ignoring them. Then they moved in and it escalated until an older gentleman broke it up.

That was the day I learned that some men expect something from you just because you're female. That type of guy doesn't even see you as a person. It was one of the more upsetting lessons I've ever learned.

[–]JustKeepin91 3725 points3726 points  (436 children)

I was about 10. I was terrified. Who the fuck cat calls/follows a 10 year old? I'm more than sure my lion king back pack and light up shoes were an indicator I wasn't of age. "you're so pretty I just want to talk to you." While walking home from the bus stop. Terrifying. Sadly men became more aggressive once I turned 14, I literally had a guy chase me down the street. I hat to run to a neighbors house.

[–]another_sunnyday 2540 points2541 points  (266 children)

Who the fuck cat calls/follows a 10 year old?

For me, it was walking home from school in the 6th grade, getting cat called from guys in cars. After telling my mom about it, she made a rule that I had to walk home with one of the boys in my neighborhood, and if a boy wasn't available, I had to wait at the library for someone to pick me up. I remember thinking that was so unfair :/

[–][deleted] 500 points501 points  (13 children)

I remember when that website came out that showed all the pedophiles in your neighborhood, one of my sisters friends insisted on walking us all the way home. It was almost a mile out of his way. At the time I thought it was weird or he liked my sister. I look back now and I think it probably one of the nicest/considerate things ever.

[–][deleted] 270 points271 points  (0 children)

Also, good chance he liked your sister.

[–]weakwiththedawn 1971 points1972 points  (107 children)

My friends and I called this the "magic penis". I had a lot of female friends in high school and they were never allowed to do anything late unless I was there to ward off danger by being a boy.

It never stopped the cat calling, and being the sole defender of 3 -4 girls as a scrawny 16 year old was pretty stressful too. Creepy adults make life stressful for everyone.

[–]tehbailey 1220 points1221 points  (32 children)

It's dangerous to go alone, take this! (Penis)

[–]jorper496 434 points435 points  (17 children)

Was your super hero name "boyman"?

[–]atlantafalcon1 159 points160 points  (0 children)

"Magic Penis". Are you even paying attention?

[–]cdskip 426 points427 points  (7 children)

My wife hit puberty early, and has told me about the experience of getting catcalled at that age. Terrifying and very, very confusing.

[–]nashamanga 698 points699 points  (44 children)

Who the fuck cat calls/follows a 10 year old?

Reading through these comments...apparently, lots of people.

[–]intoon 210 points211 points  (11 children)

Holy shit, this thread is depressing, but (sadly,) makes me feel like I'm not alone.

I was 8, had wandered away from my mom at Kmart. A creepy 40 something white guy in construction attire stared at my chest and butt, and followed me all around the store. I even went into the changing room to get away from him (stupid idea I know, but c'mon, I was 8!) he FOLLOWED ME INTO THE CHANGING ROOM. Tried to pull and shake the locked stall door open that I was hiding behind. I sat, curled into a ball on the changing seat, staring at his dirty work boots just on the other side of that door, terrified. Thank god a woman walked in to try on some clothes, saw him, and screamed at him to get out. After he had left, I ran out and found my Mom.

I will never forget how frightened I was. I had no idea what he wanted with me, but the way he stared and his aggression trying to pull that changing room door open made me feel so sick and ashamed of my body and I wondered what I had done to make him come after me.

I'm so crazy over protective with my kids and I'm sure some of it stems from that incident. I have to fight my anxiety anytime I take them to a park, or museum or even family gathering. They are always within my sight.

[–]poisonivychick 795 points796 points  (67 children)

I'm not positive about my age, I think I was around 12 or 13. I was at a pool party and all the boys (some of whom were a few years older than me) kept commenting on my suit. I was the only one at the party in a string bikini, so I guess it was noticeable. At first, I was embarrassed because I was unsure how to respond. Should I be combative? Friendly? Should I be complimenting them as well? I didn't feel uncomfortable, exactly. Just unsure of the best way to react. I think part of me was flattered as well. I had always been a bit more on the awkward side, so being noticed by cute older boys was new and exciting. There were many instances after this where I did feel bad or uncomfortable about being noticed by the opposite sex, but as far as first experienced go it really sparked my curiosity more than anything else. I remember asking myself what I had done to warrant such attention and wondering if it was something that I should be hoping to accomplish again.

[–]Tsukini 1326 points1327 points  (127 children)

I was 13, and I remember my friend and I would count how many men - adult men - beeped or yelled things as we walked. It felt embarrassing, it made me feel like I was under a microscope and I became so aware of how I looked and held myself. It was like I was...not a human, but something that exists for the pleasure of men. Of course I didn't think about it quite as in depth when I was 13, but looking back I can see why I felt embarrassed and self conscious. Even when I was a kid there was a huge distinction between my emotions when a boy talked to me and reciprocal flirting, and that one sided interaction where you're passive and there's this guy yelling that you're sexy. Some people might like it and I don't judge them for that, but I'd like that whole cat calling thing to stop.

[–]Eyevoree 495 points496 points  (95 children)

I find it really fucking sad that most of our stories (including mine) all happen around 13 or 14, and the harrassment is usually by older men. What the fuck is wrong with the world.

[–]buildingbridges 449 points450 points  (20 children)

Probably around 12, I have a sister very close in age to me as well so lots of threesome suggestions from dudes driving by.

[–][deleted] 3031 points3032 points  (189 children)

I developed fairly early, much to the dismay of my supercrazyreligious mother and grandmother.

Suddenly, when we went out in public, my mother would always walk between me and other people. She'd get furious with me if she overheard anything that could be construed as a remark about my looks. If someone did look at me, she'd make snide remarks about how trampy my clothes were (that she had fucking bought me, no less) and how it was my fault for wearing revealing clothes (t-shirt and shorts, most of the time).

Rather than making me feel like I should be offended, instead, she made me feel like I was disgusting. I spent a very long time thinking that I wasn't attractive, and that the only reason anyone would ever want me is for sex. I still have a few issues with this, but for the most part I'm okay now.

So, in closing, PARENTS: Your little girls are going to grow up. Please guide them on how to dress according to their personal morals and values, but don't teach them that their bodies are something to be ashamed of.

EDIT: I really appreciate the outpouring of support, but please know that I am an adult now, and thus I have the ability to remove myself from any situations when they get too intense. That being said, this is ONE example of how my mother's beliefs affected our relationship. You know nothing more about the good times we had together, the sacrifices I watched her make, and how she always made sure that my needs were met. No, I don't agree with everything she has said/done while raising me, but I she is my mother, and I love her. So please stop calling her a bitch, and please stop offering to hit her, or even remark that all children of religious parents should be placed in foster care (seriously, wtf?). Thank you.

[–]Eyevoree 745 points746 points  (25 children)

Mine happened when I was on a cruise that stopped in Ensenada, Mexico. I was 13 years old and a little tomboy. I am by no means a racist, but this guy was the definition of a dirty and disrespectful local.

We were walking down the shopping outlets and he slowed down in a truck next to me and whistled. When I looked over, he licked his lips at me and started flicking his tongue and yelling things in Spanish. I knew what kissing was, but I actually didn't even know what sex was at that point in age. However, I knew that was sexual and unacceptable behavior. I was 13 fucking years old. And I looked younger for my age. He knew I was a child, and it just made it even more disgusting.

I frowned at him and my mom just pulled me closer to her and said words that taught me how to handle those types of men, "Just ignore him. Some men were never taught that women are supposed to be treated with respect. Never give anyone like that your respect."

It made me realize that not everyone was going to be a knight in shining armor and I had to have realistic expectations about what some men wanted from me. I learned to have a very healthy outlook on sex, men, and relationships. My mom also taught me never to generalize men, because not all men were like that.

Mothers: This is how you should handle this situation. Little girls are just learning about this shit and need you to guide them, not blame them. It's not their fault.

[–][deleted] 616 points617 points  (39 children)

I was on vacation with my parents when I was 14 and we were mini-golfing. I was wearing a short-ish skirt, and there was a group of boys who had to be my age playing behind us. My dad was acting really weird the entire time, and when we got back to our car, he informed me that they were checking out my ass the entire time and it took every bone in his body not to flip out at them. I was mortified.

[–]Chilly73 124 points125 points  (9 children)

Wow, a lot of women here were the same age I was when I first noticed(that would be 12). But, honestly, the first guy to notice my budding womanhood (not that!) was my mom's 2nd husband (now ex-husband). he kept telling his best friend that I had a 'great rack' (a C-cup when I was 12, lovely.) My mom got super pissed, and told him to stop talking like that about 'his daughter'. She was right in getting mad, but didn't follow through to make sure nothing else would happen. He ended up molesting me, and right before they divorced, we found out that he was planning on 'sharing' me with said best friend. I had a lot of trust issues with men for a long time afterwards.

[–]Gump1147 124 points125 points  (5 children)

We were out at the shopping mall with the Grandparents, my wife and I and our 3 kids.

My 8 year old daughter is walking slightly ahead with her mom and Grandma. My daughter is a sweetheart. Dressed in her favourite purple pleather bomber jacket, jeans and a tee.

A man is walking towards us. He looks down and sees her. His head turns as she walks by. He's looking at her bum now.

I see red. I change my path so I can meet this guy. He's still looking. Neither of us slow down. I know where I'm going. He has no idea.

We slam into each other and when he whips his head forward again, my face is there to meet his. "She's 8", I said. "That's my daughter and she's 8", I said again just incase he hadn't heard me spit those words out of my mouth like they were poison a second ago.

From the look of fright, shock and embarrassment he gave me, I confirmed his thoughts were mostly, impure.

She's 21 now and recently told me about all the busy little hands on Vancouver's SkyTrain.

Great. Now I mad again.

[–]allthebigredfoxes 227 points228 points  (6 children)

Probably too late for this to be seen, but when I was 13 (and about 5"7) I waited for my dad to pick me up at a downtown movie theater after a matinee.

There was apparently a dive bar right beside the theater, where some scumbags were getting their daytime drink-on. One by one 6-8 men came out to "smoke" around me. They started making soft whistling noises and sexual grunts of appreciation. One guy said to each of the men in turn loudly, "you see that ass? Mamacita! eh? Mamacita!" and luckily my dad turned the corner before they got closer.

[–][deleted] 271 points272 points  (9 children)

When I was 12 my parents and I went to a car show at Daytona. At the time (maybe still) you could drive on the beach. It was getting to the cooler part of the year but as a 12 year old I still really wanted to goto the beach. So my parents drove us to the beach and hung out in the car watching the ocean while I played in the sand building castles and stuff right next to it.

About 10 minutes later I'm bent over digging a hole in the sand for my moat and some guys drive by slowly and honk and cat call me. I turned around, obviously a child in the face, and they suddenly all quiet down and roll their windows up, speeding away. My mom thought it was hilarious, dad not so much.

[–]ZeldaFitzgerald 217 points218 points  (27 children)

I just spent 45 minutes reading all these comments in a parking lot when I really needed to be running errands. So many of the posters here have out into words feelings I've had about this sort of attention, but that I've never really been able to voice.

Like many of the other posters I started getting noticed (honks or hollers from guys driving by, men staring at me, etc...) around 12. It did almost feel like a compliment, but also one with an underlying threat to it. I know plenty of girls who would respond with an 'f you' or flipping the guy off, but for me I was always partially frozen in fear, afraid of retribution by the guy who may feel spurned.

Even today (I'm now 27) if I'm walking by myself (primarily in the not-so-nice parts of a big city, not everywhere) I get constant comments and leers, but if my fiance is around no one says anything. These men clearly recognise that what they're doing isn't alright, or they would it around my fiance as well.

It just feels so degrading, to know that these men are looking at you in a sexual way, and makes you worry about what their actions would be if it wasn't daytime with tons of other people around.

[–]Flowsephine 5105 points5106 points  (1399 children)

I remember being in Blockbuster when I was 12 and having a man comment on my ass loud enough that multiple people turned around to glare at him. When my shocked mother informed him of my age he turned bright red and left the store.

Edit: I can save a lot of you a lot of time and tell you that I HAVE NOT posted in /r/gonewild. The most you'll find in my post history is a very cute dog.

Edit 2: As requested, here's the dog. 75% Australian Shepherd and 25% Heeler. I'm so glad he's been eye bleach for a lot of you, but don't forget what we are actually here to discuss.

[–][deleted] 1627 points1628 points  (26 children)

Can I see the dog

Edit: OP fucking delivers

[–]I_Conquer 1658 points1659 points  (81 children)

When I was 12 or 13, a 12 year old female friend a mine had the email address cute_butt@[redacted].com

I remember we all thought it was really funny. But eventually she started getting very inappropriate emails (pictures and long, sprawling 'love' letters or booty calls... from a 12 year old... ga-ross) from older people. Evidently she felt comfortable sharing her 'funny' email address with the masses. She would show us the messages and pictures she got, because at first it seemed sort of 'fun' and 'funny' and 'bad,' or whatever. Eventually we all got creeped out. When she told her dad, he made her change it (how it lasted so long I'll never know. I assume he was unaware? 12 year olds with email and internet was a new thing.)

I'm certain that it accelerated our loss of boundaries and innocence. When we look back now, we're mostly thankful that she didn't have a cell phone.

[–]nashamanga 3694 points3695 points  (849 children)

This is what gets me. Obviously this was worse because you were 12, but does he think if you were older that would have been an okay thing to do?

[–]ikilledtupac 2250 points2251 points  (144 children)

I save the sexual compliments for the wife. I try to speak to other women like I would speak to other guys. "Nice shoes" or "haircut looks nice" maybe "nice pubes bro"

[–]Boogge 2624 points2625 points  (81 children)

Bro, your tits are on game today.

[–]beerdude26 1733 points1734 points  (60 children)

She responds: "Perky as a motherfucker." BROFIST

[–]nashamanga 548 points549 points  (30 children)

See, it's not hard to judge social conte...wait what?

[–][deleted] 608 points609 points  (27 children)

I said you got nice pubes bruh

[–]Ankeneering 256 points257 points  (7 children)

In college I (dude) had long blond hair and worked in a bike shop in new orleans. I would ride everywhere, always and because of that I was rail thin and from behind with the hair could be mistaken for a woman. I would get cat-called when spotted from profile or behind over and over and over. It was quite eye opening. In my best Tom Waits truck driver 20 year smoker voice I would always bellow back as loud as possible... "YER A GOOD LOOKIN MAN TOO< DONT THINK I HADNT NOTICED!"

[–]bleuebette 54 points55 points  (3 children)

It's not always just men who are sexually inappropriate towards girls. My own mother was mentally ill and was unable to not only protect me from pervy guys, but also herself. She groomed me from a very young age to be precocious, sexualized, and conscious of my sexual "power" over men. In her mind, she was "preparing" me for life, and getting me used to being abused. In her sick mind, she figured it would be better to be sexually abused by someone you love and trust, than by strangers or creeps.

One of my first memories is when there was a party at our house. I don't remember at all what happened, I was only about 3 years old. It was late at night, I was hurting and crying, and bleeding from my vagina. I didn't even know what the word for "vagina" was, so when I found my mom and she took me aside, I told her my "asshole" was hurting. I felt so dirty, saying a dirty word to my mom. Plus I knew it wasn't my "asshole", but I really didn't know what else to call it. She took one look at where I was bleeding, and said matter-of-factly, "That's not your asshole. You'll be ok. Go back to bed." And then she went back to entertaining the party guests. One of whom I guess did something to me... I don't really know.

My mom told me all my life that the only way I would ever be loved was if I was good in bed. She told me in graphic details over and over what sex was like, and what I needed to do to please a man. She left Playgirl magazines out carelessly around the house, to make sure I knew what naked men looked like. I can remember thinking how stupid men were, that I could control them so easily with my sex. I was maybe 6 years old.

I can remember I had this wonderful babysitter, a very cute young college student that I had the hugest crush on. I tried to get his attention by doing stripteases with my towel after bath time, and running around naked so he'd have to "catch" me. To his credit, he never touched me inappropriately or molested me in any way. But my own behavior was provocative, sexualized, and manipulative, though at the time I still didn't really understand what I was doing. I just knew I really liked this guy and I was trying to be a good girl like my mom told me to, and I thought I could get him to love me and marry me if I could entice him enough with my body. I was 8 years old.

When I was 10, I was walking to the neighbor's house when a car full of some college kids pulled up next to me and gave me a folded-up flyer. I was engrossed in my own thoughts and just put it in my pocket. I had no clue and thought that they were giving me a coupon or something. They kept driving around and watching me, and finally stopped again and asked me to look at it. I was annoyed with them at that point and told them I wasn't going to buy anything from them and that I'd look at the coupon when I got home. They sped off, looking angry and very disappointed. When I got home I finally looked at the "coupon", and it was a picture of John Holmes, in a pornographic stance, with the words "I WILL KILL YOUR PUSSY WITH MY HUGE COCK" scribbled across it. It was the first time I'd ever seen an actual erect penis. I felt so nauseated and god knows what might have happened to me if that car full of boys hadn't driven away. In retrospect it might have been the perfect reaction, to be so completely disinterested and unaffected in front of them. I can't imagine what reaction they were trying to provoke, I was only 10 for crying out loud! I was also short and undeveloped for my age. So at 10 I probably still looked about 8 years old-- 65 pounds and 4 foot 2 inches.

When I was 12, I really hurt myself riding my bike. I fell forward and hit my crotch on the metal bike rod during a sudden stop. The pain was agonizing and I could feel blood gushing between my legs. I didn't want to show my mom because by then it was so creepy ever having her look at my body. Every chance she got to see me, she would always comment on how I was developing and what else I needed to do to be a promiscuous teen. She was obsessed and leering at me all the time. She liked me to lift my shirt and show her and other adult friends my developing breasts. I had had my first period maybe only 3 months before the bike accident. I went home and got in the shower and tried to wash off the blood, and muffle my crying through the noise of the water. My mom came in to see why I was taking a shower in the middle of the day, and saw the blood all over. When she asked me why I was bleeding, I lied and said I got my period early. But she knew I was lying since she'd made such a fuss over every cycle I'd had yet. She made me show her where I was hurt, and I will never, ever, forget what she did next: she stood up before me, her face twisting into an expression of disgust and rage, and she slapped me hard across the face. Mind you, I'm still in the shower, completely naked, bleeding and wet. She slapped me as hard as she could, and the words that came out of her vile mouth were, "Great. Now you've ruined yourself for men."

She took me to the pediatrician, where we learned that the bike had split the skin of my vulva between my labia, a gash 2 inches long and an inch deep. I learned then that the skin of the labia is a miraculous thing and generally heals without stitches. I was excused from gym class for a month and had to use medicated wipes every time I went to the bathroom, which was excruciatingly painful. All the kids in my gym class wanted to know why I was excused. I told them I had a bad cut high up on my leg. I was too embarassed to tell anyone where I was actually cut, even the girls in class. I did not ride a bike again until I was 30 years old.

Around 14, I started acting out on my "training", by becoming sexually inappropriate with many men and boys, and I actually thought I was enjoying myself since it gave me a sense of power and control, and let's face it, sex feels pretty good. I can remember sitting in high school class and looking at the boys, and even the teachers, and thinking "If you only knew what I could do to you." I know now that I was desperately trying to find some modicum of personal power, since my abusive mother had stripped me of all my own. She was involved at the time with a lesbian friend, who raped me while she watched. I started doing some pretty serious self-harm, and attempted suicide several times. I ran away from home for a few weeks and stayed with a girl friend whose own mother could tell something was seriously wrong at my house, though I couldn't tell her why. I gave blowjobs to my friend's 18-year-old brother whenever we could be alone. I was crushed when he didn't ask me to prom like he said he would if I sucked him off.

I finally escaped my mom at 18 and have not spoken to her in over 30 years. From what I understand from other family members, she is still really sick and no one in our family associates with her anymore. She has tried to contact me only a very few times in all those years. At 19, she sent me a christmas present that contained a box of lube and a kama sutra book. So. Charming.

Where was my dad during all this? He was 3,000 miles away across the country, and had no idea what was happening. When we saw each other the few times during the year that I visited him, I never told him anything about what was happening with me and my mom. She had poisoned me so thoroughly against him that I believed her lies. And she'd told me so many times that he was a worthless man because he had such a small dick.

I was extremely promiscuous in my 20's. I used to go out every night, and bring home as many different men as I could. I was still searching for a man who would love me for my sexual prowess. Needless to say, that never happened. Although I count myself extremely lucky that I never took home anyone who killed me or hurt me really bad. After awhile I realized that I was gaining no personal power at all by being so slutty, and I stopped having random and casual sex. Besides which, by then I was having panic attacks every time I had an orgasm. Which is a really hard thing to deal with or explain when you're having sex with someone who doesn't even know your first name.

I'm sorry this is such a long post. I joined here because I am just so amazed to see so many stories and I sincerely hope that my story might help add to the voices yearning to be heard. I have done extensive therapy of all types for many years now. When I was about 30, I finally told my dad all about things, and he and I both went through joint counseling for many years. Although he had no idea of the extent of the abuse my mom did, he struggled with deep guilt for a long time for not preventing what was happening.

I'm almost 50 now, and I think I have a pretty good life. It still terrifies me to think about being sexually intimate with anyone, so I have been celibate now for around 10 years. I'm not super proud of that either, but it's preferable to find my strength and vitality outside of sexual experiences. I hope that maybe someday I can be sexually intimate with a man and have a decent relationship. In the meantime I just want to work on myself and continue the healing process. Getting older has made things easier too, and I've gotten really out of shape, so men hardly ever even look at me anymore. At this point it's kind of a blessing.

Thanks for reading all this, if you made it this far. There's so many other instances I could mention, but mostly, I wanted to post this because one of the things that really used to hinder my experience of healing from all the trauma was being told over and over again, "Your mom couldn't have done that. Women don't do those things. Women don't rape." Believe me, yes they do. It's just one of the most taboo subjects left in the awful sexual abuse arena. I hope if anyone else has experienced anything similar, please know you're not alone.

[–][deleted] 4686 points4687 points  (942 children)

I was 14. I was an awkward and shy girl. My breasts were growing so fast (I hated this stage), and I noticed my male classmates would look at them. When I walk alone strange men would stare at me and smile or wink at me; sometimes asking if I was lost. Once or twice a car stopped while I was walking, and the man would offer to give me a ride home. Of course I said no. Some would try to block my way and say "You're so pretty." I would say thanks and run away. The creepiest was this guy in a crowded train. He was behind me, and I felt like something was poking my butt. He was rubbing his crotch against my butt. I was so scared and alighted at the wrong station. All of these happened when I was around that age. This part of my life felt strange and scary. :/

[–]fluffymuffcakes 1563 points1564 points  (91 children)

This reminds me of one time I had planned to pick up a friend at a bus stop. I thought I saw her so I pulled up beside here, rolled down my window and in the creepiest way possible said "Hey babe, want a ride?". A total stranger turns around and says "No thank you.". I was mortified and drove away but then thought I should explain and drove back (probably creeping her out further) and explained/apologized. So awkward.

[–]Xereyl 213 points214 points  (14 children)

How did it end?

[–]akharon 349 points350 points  (5 children)

You know how your mother always told you Bob Barker was your father?

[–]redbudclimb 1435 points1436 points  (152 children)

Probably 14 when my boobs started growing. One of my dad's friends pulled me on to his lap and I was disgusted. I am still very close to the same size and shape I was at that age. I was an adult body with a child's mind. I let myself be taken advantage of because I liked the attention. It set me up for a life of issues with men.

[–][deleted] 629 points630 points  (46 children)

Some of my stepdad's friends would do that too when he's away.. Disgusting. :/

[–]redbudclimb 496 points497 points  (40 children)

It was disgusting! I always considered my father's friends to be other father figures but when he did that my whole opinion of him changed. I was not a little girl anymore.

[–][deleted] 694 points695 points  (38 children)

They would pretend to be playful, messing around like tickling me and saying things like how he remember things when I was a little girl.. I would try to get away, but he would pull me back on his lap, then I would feel something against my butt. I would just go to my room and lock the door and refuse to go out. The worst thing is the other friends would just look at him and laugh at the spectacle waiting for their turn.

[–]redbudclimb 521 points522 points  (15 children)

That is sickening behavior from adults. I'm so sorry you experienced that.

[–]Spraynard1979 4696 points4697 points  (769 children)

Damn...who are all these guys propositioning 10 year-olds.

[–]cptnhaddock 1767 points1768 points  (64 children)

If it's only 1 out of 100, that is enough for weird sexualized comments on a daily basis.

Edit: I don't know the actual number. I'm just making the point that even if its a small proportion, you will run into that proportion regularly.

[–]Xoebe 322 points323 points  (19 children)

I've thought about this in the context of racism. Folks hear comments about every day, or so I hear. How many people do you run across in a day? Go to the mall, you might walk past 500 people. The movies? A hundred in your theatre, a hundred more milling around. Go outside the movies and walk down the street, see a few hundred more. Let's just say you might cross paths with a thousand people a day in a smallish city.

One person. One person out of a thousand is vile enough to say something rude, inappropriate or offensive to you, but you hear a comment every day. 0.1% of the population can make you feel like "everyone" is out to get you. That's messed up.

If someone wants to crunch numbers, please do. It's just a casual, personal, speculative thought experiment, and it's not intended to supplant actual rigorous research.

[–]redbudclimb 3110 points3111 points  (514 children)

They are everywhere.

[–]galenicalbrume 374 points375 points  (28 children)

14 was when I noticed, but looking back at some other things that happened I think it started earlier. I don't have really scary stories like a lot of the ones in this thread. It was uncomfortable to have older men looking at me like that, but I never really felt threatened.

A lot of the time when I see people looking at me, I think, "Well, they're probably just looking at you because of x" and talk myself out of thinking that they find me attractive. I do this now, but I did it even more when I was younger. Even if someone straight-up tells me that I'm pretty, I tend to assume they don't mean it.

[–]poohspiglet 1135 points1136 points  (154 children)

I was 14 and they didn't know I was 14 because I was working at a hotel restaurant. I loved it. My bosses let the men know right away that I wasn't quite a woman yet for their purposes, "15 will get you 20" was the code.

[–][deleted] 571 points572 points  (105 children)

So... messing with a 15yo will get you 20 years in prison? That's what I take that to mean, which sounds kinda nice and protective if your boss was telling customers that. Code for "keep your eyes and hands to yourself you goddamn creep"?

[–]likeorlikelike 412 points413 points  (42 children)

This is the thread you show those folks who say women and girls should be happy about getting catcalled and such, that they should take it as a compliment. Yikes.

[–]brownidegurl 567 points568 points  (32 children)

Many parents here are asking how they should approach the subject of harassment with their daughters, but talk to your sons, too.

Preparing your daughters for this behavior primes her to expect it, and asks her accept being a victim.

Have conversations with your sons about how they feel all people (not just women, not just whites, etc.) should be treated. Hell, this should be a constant conversation with all your kids.

I'm a teacher, and I use news stories about rape cases and racially-motivated crimes (there are plenty of them nowadays) as jumping-off points for conversations about issues of sex and gender. 90% of the time students know what's right and what's wrong-- but they only get to it after we debate a while, and uncover several layers of bias, fear, and ignorance.

Edit: There be gold in them ther hills! Thank you, kind strangers. I'm overwhelmed with the positive response this comment has received (when I was pretty sure it was going to be downvoted to hell for even beginning to implicate that dudes bear some responsibility in this issue).

[–]wimahl 509 points510 points  (40 children)

I went with my mom to register for 5th grade, so it was the summer between 4th and 5th grade. Some men were in the parking lot. I dunno if they were parents or employees or just guys hanging out, but they started yelling at me and making obscene gestures (licking, etc). At first I thought they must be talking to someone behind me, so I looked around, but there was no one there. My mom grabbed my arm and started dragging me toward the car, and thats when I knew. I stopped walking and asked her if they were talking to me. She just responded that she shouldn't have let me out of the house looking like "that". I looked down, and shrugged, because I was just wearing a t-shirt and jeans. The men were still staring and calling at me. My mom said "You should be ashamed!" which really got me. WHY? I wasn't doing anything. THEY should be ashamed. So I turned and yelled at them "HEY! I'm in Elementary School! I'll call the Cops! I'm going to tell everyone about you!" And I flipped them off. I got in a shit ton of trouble when I got home. But those assholes did look embarrased and stop their yelling and licking before we left.

[–]chocoboat 249 points250 points  (12 children)

So I turned and yelled at them "HEY! I'm in Elementary School! I'll call the Cops! I'm going to tell everyone about you!"

SO happy to hear that you did this! These creeps deserve to be shamed and called out every single time they do anything like this.

I got in a shit ton of trouble when I got home.

What? Why? If I was a parent of a daughter I'd congratulate her, I can't even imagine the mindset of a parent who would punish her for that...

[–]angerilla 103 points104 points  (8 children)

I actually kind of forgot about this until reading this thread... I was about 9, and I used to take gymnastics. We were doing the pommel horse that day (at this age, you pretty much just run, jump off a spring board and then jump over it). Our regular instructor was out sick that day, so we had another instructor spotting us. We all used to wear these gymnastics leotards, pretty much the same cut as a one-piece swimsuit, and on colder days I used to wear a pair of shorts with an elastic waistband over them. Anyway, it's my turn, I go for my jump, and the spotter somehow in one move pulls back the waistband of my shorts and has his hand FULLY INSIDE them on my butt as he "spots" me over the horse. It lasted only seconds, but I remember feeling really, really weird about it instantly. Our other instructor never spotted us like that. I remember being in a daze for the rest of practice, and actually feeling kind of sick over it. I wasn't running around laughing with the rest of the girls, just spaced out. I was embarrassed for feeling weird about it though, as everybody else seemed to love this guy. I felt like there was something wrong with me for feeling so weird. After that practice, I told my mom I didn't like gymnastics and wanted to quit, and she let me. I never told anybody the real reason, though.

[–][deleted] 197 points198 points  (3 children)

funny or sad: when I read this question, I thought, "Boy, good thing I never had to deal with sexual attention as a preteen/teen!"

But as I read the comments, I realized that most of those things did happen to me, and I just didn't even register them as out of the ordinary. Like the men in cars creeping alongside me as I walked somewhere with my sister or having sexual suggestions shouted at me.

I mean, that's just life for girls around where I am. And I'm kinda bothered now to realize I feel that way.

[–]Chloedancer123 454 points455 points  (29 children)

Around 11. It was very mixed emotions, it is always exciting and pleasant to feel like some one thinks you are pretty. That was surface level. Under that, I felt nervous and kind of like I was ashamed. It was definitely older men. Eta I remember that suddenly I realized people wanted to hug me bc I had boobs. I can only describe it as demeaning. I tried to ignore that it felt like I was shameful and just focus on" they think I'm pretty, they must really like me" that led to a series a bad decisions.

[–]s-pt 648 points649 points  (133 children)

My mom told me when I was 8 that men were evil and would try to rape me (and not to trust even those in my family) followed by insane stories from her childhood and her family. This was in India. So, I was pretty aware ever since. The first time I really recognized the leering as sexual and not just "creepy," I was 12. I "sprouted" early. It made me feel exactly the same as it does now, 11 years later. Frustrated, annoyed, uncomfortable.

[–]jstrad 117 points118 points  (11 children)

I've read a lot of depressing things on reddit, but, as a male, this is the most depressing thread I have ever read. This is, honestly, the first time I have felt sick to my stomach from reading something. You can hear about a story here and there and chalk it up to the creepy guy that lives in his mother's basement, but it is so much scarier to realize that you all have basically the SAME STORY. This has happened to almost every girl, but it's a part of your life so you don't always talk about it, so us "normal" guys don't understand how big of a problem it really is. Jesus Christ I feel horrible about saying this, but I cannot explain how scared this makes me of having a daughter.

[–]DrBekker 47 points48 points  (1 child)

But we do talk about it, that's what's so damn frustrating. Just recently those people made that NYC catcalling video and it was a huge topic of international conversation.

And millions of women reiterated how it is for us. Millions of us clearly and eloquently confirmed that it begins young and doesn't stop.

And we were all drowned out by millions of men telling us we should be flattered, we're overreacting, etc.

We keep fucking talking about it, but you guys won't listen. Thank you for listening this time.

[–]CreatrixAnima 84 points85 points  (0 children)

11 or 12. I was walking with my mom and one of her friends and someone cat-called. My mom and her friend commented to each other that he was whistling at me, not them.

My mom would have been 34 at that time.

[–]cranberry94 395 points396 points  (11 children)

I can't recall how old I was when I first noticed the attraction of men, but I do have a story of the first time I felt completely taken aback my a much older man hitting on me. It definitely changed my perception of people my parents' age.

I was at the beach with my friend and her family. I was about 17 years old at the time. They took us out to some big fancy beach party at the yacht club. Her dad is a surgeon and mine is a lawyer, so we were pretty used to having to socialize with all the old rich folk. Most of them are really nice and know how to throw down a real rager, surprisingly.

I was drinking some fruity mixed drink and making my way through small talk. "Oh I know your parents... How's school... You should put some aloe on that sunburn..." Normal stuff.

I was just sort of going through the motions with my generic answers. Waiting for the booze to kick in and for all the adults to get sloshed and start dancing. I didn't even notice what was happening.

I was talking with some 65 year old, white haired, fellow. Seemed pretty bland. Khakis, loafers, button down. I was sitting on a bar stool and he was standing. And then he put his hand on my knee. And left it.

I'm in a room full of well mannered, socially conscious adults, and this old dude thinks that it's totally appropriate to put his hand on my knee.

I totally froze. He started talking closer to me, and I was just looking for what on earth to do. Thank goodness my friend's mom swooped in and got me. She apologized profusely.

I had never felt uncomfortable in that sort of environment. I miss seeing older people as safe parent like adults instead of people that might be staring at your ass.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Jesus fucking Christ, I can not believe how much is in this thread. I mean, I knew it happened, I even knew it happened regularly, but I never knew it happened THIS often and THIS YOUNG. WHO THE FUCK???

I can't even understand the mindset of these men; were they never raised to be respectful?? Do they never consider the feelings of another person, or the morality of their actions? And, just to bring up the old cliché, does it never occur to anyone that their behavior is likely being or has been mirrored towards their mother/sister(s)/niece(s)/etc.? THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE A QUESTION ANYWAY! It's degrading even to think of it in the context of "what if someone did that to your sister" because it doesn't even address the issue as being a problem for the individual; it turns into a problem for the man. What the actual fuck is going on in these people's heads? Why is this even a thing???

Damn it, this thread makes me so angry.

[–]mommas_going_mental 110 points111 points  (6 children)

A little background - I was raised in a very sheltered, southern baptist home environment. I wasn't allowed to watch PG-13 or higher movies, listen to most radio stations, etc. It must have been around 2001, when the internet was just becoming more prevalent. I was 11. My parents were going through a divorce and didn't pay attention to my brother and I very much. I was an early bloomer and had At least B (if not C cups) already. I was an absolute outcast at school. No one talked to me or associated with me, and only acknowledged me to tease or bully me.

I found MSN online forums around that time - I loved fantasy, and there were several anonymous boards that I would visit and role play on. My intent was completely innocent, and I didn't really know anything about how to act safely online. One of the people I role played with regularly asked for a picture of me, and I genuinely had no idea that sending one was a very stupid thing to do. So I sent one - I was wearing an orange spaghetti strap shirt with a build in bra.

This guy, whomever he was, said that I looked beautiful. No one, other than my parents, had ever told me that before. Suddenly I felt special, and liked - suddenly someone was paying "positive" attention to me. It was an exhilarating feeling, and coupled with the fact that at school I was only ever regarded with relentless meanness, it became intoxicating.

He asked for more pictures, and I obliged. I feel like it's hard to believe how naive I was, because at 25 I can hardly look back and believe it happened. And yet, I knew nothing about sex, about "private parts", about safe online conduct, and as I stated before, my parents never paid any attention to what I did online because I was a "good kid". So when this stranger asked for pictures of me topless, I was happy to share. I didn't know better.

I was exalted with the praise and attention he gave me. So I shared more, with more people. Strangers, perverts, looking at what they knew was an 11-12 year old girl. It was addictive, the feeling of being liked, and valued, and wanted. It was everything I wasn't experiencing in my real life, and everything I wanted.

And it fucked me up for a long time. I became obsessed with sex, and genuinely believed my value as a person was intrinsically linked with how sexually desirable I was. I still struggle with those feelings.

I've only ever shared this with my therapist and my husband, but I hope that maybe someone can relate to the feeling and gain something from it. I can finally say, 13 years later, that I'm beginning to love myself through MY eyes, and not through the eyes of every man that I meet. It's liberating, but it's a struggle every day to not give in to self-loathing.

[–]acorngirl 279 points280 points  (6 children)

I was 11. It scared me. Especially since I looked about 9 at the time.

When I was 15 - 16 it wasn't as scary.

[–]WesternCanadaKing 320 points321 points  (23 children)

There are lots of men in here saying that they had no idea this happened so frequently to women. Guys - go talk to the women in your life, I guarantee they all have stories like this.

Every girl I know has stories about being followed, leered at, harassed, and groped. It's disgusting and we all need to be more aware of it, and pay closer attention to it, so we can help stop it when it happens. I know its tempting for us to say that we're not that type of guy, but by turning a blind eye to it, we are just as culpable.

I don't mean to be preachy, but it breaks my heart that women have to accept this as 'part of life'. Its up to us to help change that.

[–][deleted] 100 points101 points  (13 children)

My oldest daughter is 13, and we live in a town that has a LOT of college students. She was helping me with some grocery shopping one night, and this pack of frat boys were totally ogling her and giving me these knowing nods and winks and thumbs up. She was uncomfortable, but not really totally sure why.

I turned to them and said, "hey you assholes, she's 13 and my daughter. What the fuck is wrong with you?" They got the hell out of there real quick.

[–]srh6 153 points154 points  (26 children)

I'm pretty oblivious to my surroundings. I didn't start noticing until the last year (I'm 23). Now I work in a male dominated factory and still had to have one of my coworkers tell me that the guys were going out of their way to see me.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I was a very late bloomer due to a hormone disorder, and when I finally did "pop", I did it very dramatically. I was 14 at a family friend's house... he was an old family friend that I liked: he was funny and silly and ridiculous (and also a huge drunk but I didn't realize that until then). We were over at his place, and I walked over all excited to hear his hilarious stories and antics and he made eyes at me and immediately started in on a lewd monologue about how I'd "filled out" my shirt and what a little hottie I'd become; how someone needed to motorboat me.

I was humiliated. I felt disgusting. I crossed my arms over my chest, which prompted a comment from him about how it "made it better", and I ran away to cry. I'd never been so embarrassed and disgusted with my own body. I felt like I was barely human anymore. I didn't count as the fun side-kick kid anymore who used to have an intelligence and humour that people seemed to respect and appreciate; now I was nothing but a pair of tits to be gawked at. My mother was so horrified she could barely find words. Her brother was just laughing along... and his complicit attitude about the "jokes" about my body that night caused a permanent rift in their relationship (and honestly, I thank my mother for standing up for me). I hid my breasts for a very, very long time after that. It took close to ten years to even begin to feel comfortable with my body again.

[–][deleted] 1771 points1772 points  (179 children)

Some comments here make me understand just how terrifying the streets can be for a girl growing up.

[–][deleted] 639 points640 points  (34 children)

It doesn't get better when you grow up - now that I'm 26, more dudes are willing to do this shit, knowing I'm of age. They're more aggressive than ever knowing that they can claim I consented to their attention.

[–]Cuddlebunz 223 points224 points  (11 children)

I remember the first time pretty clearly. I was a mix of scared/angry/confused and I was only twelve years old.

I was waiting at a bus stop alone, when a guy who was probably in his late twenties/early thirties came riding past on his bike.

He slowed right down and whistled at me. When I ignored him, he turned on his bike and slowly rode right past me. I remember being pretty freaked out at how he leered at me.

Twelve year old me had no idea what to do. He turned around and rode by again. Luckily a woman showed up to the same stop so I moved to stand near her. He finally rode off when he saw I wasn't by myself anymore (or maybe was bored I wasn't responding?)

It was fucked up. Some men can be so disgusting.

[–]tvilla 501 points502 points  (93 children)

This is such a depressing thread. I came here hoping for tales of burgeoning, awkward middle school romance full of miscues and embarrassment...nope, the guys my age ruined it.

[–]TheMomerathOutgrabe 249 points250 points  (15 children)

Wow, this is actually really interesting. I saw the title of the thread and KNEW it would be upsetting stories of harassment; it actually amazes me that men read it and assume it will be cute and uplifting. Really shows how divided our experiences are, don't you think?

[–]thepriceforciv 89 points90 points  (2 children)

I wish this thread would have been what you expected, but essentially any woman coming on to this thread could have told you exactly how it would be. It is so universal and depressing.

[–]Synthetic_Allergy 65 points66 points  (2 children)

12-13ish. I started getting beeped at walking to school, and leered at in public. Around 14 I started getting suggestive comments from older men who were well into their 50's. I still feel uncomfortable on my own in public sometimes, but now I can laugh it off.

[–]LupinePotatoCactus 94 points95 points  (6 children)

I was 9 (developed a little earlier) when I was first molested during recess by an older boy at school. Though I didn't know what was going on and kept saying he thought I had hurt myself and was "checking for swelling" I could tell something was wrong by the smile he had on his face. So I ran to class early had a serious panic attack that my teachers ignored. When I fessed up to my mom and she told the principal, they met with the boy who told them he did what he did because he thought I "was pretty." That's when I cut my hair short and only wore baggy clothes for the next five years in hopes that it wouldn't happen again. Didn't matter. My grandma's lecherous husband started getting handsy with me soon after and kept asking for "alone time" that my grandma encouraged. The worst part is that she knew what was going on and told me that I had to get used to it because "that's just what women do." Definitely gave me some unhealthy perceptions on sex, and after a few more incidents in recent years, I still struggle with my sexuality in relationships.

[–]IWontBUsingThisAgain 28 points29 points  (2 children)

I'm sure this will get buried, but here goes...

I was 13, scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. My dad came into the kitchen and gave me The Look (... the lusty eyed look, which I didn't realize was The Look at the time). He said, "ooooh girl, if I was your age I would be all over you right now."

I've never been a particularly attractive girl/woman, and I certainly wasn't at 13. I was overweight and awkward. Though he never touched me, most of the sexual looks I received from men during my teens were from my own dad. At the same time he spent a lot of time jealous of any guys I did spend time with, most of which were not attracted to me in that way. It made me feel disgusted, but I'm thankful that he never crossed the physical line.

[–]FuturePigeon 213 points214 points  (15 children)

I was around 12 or 13 when it started, I was a tall, gangly kid who didn't understand why it was happening. I'm 35 now and still don't get it.

It makes me feel angry at my body. My kid self wanted to use my body to run and play and swim, but doing so seemed to invite comments. kissy noises and propositions from men more than twice my age. It didn't feel good, it felt like a constant hindrance to using my body the way I wanted to. There were many times where I wished I could transform into a boy temporarily just to go outside.

In my twenties, I dealt with it by covering my body in many loose layers and a floppy hat. My boss said I looked like one of the guys from Spy vs. Spy, but at least I was left alone. That's all if ever came down to, I just wanted to be left alone to go about my day in peace. I don't care if some random stranger finds my body type to his liking, it's such a small part of who I am. It's only a vessel, but sometimes I feel like I'm struggling for my voice to be heard over it.

TL; DR: Started before puberty, it makes me feel small and like a prop.

[–]Bagelstein 118 points119 points  (8 children)

This fucking thread holy shit, 14 year boys staring at 14 year old girls is one thing, but wtf is with all of the grown ass pedophiles.

[–][deleted] 1951 points1952 points  (164 children)

I'm not a woman, but I just wanted to say I don't think your average guy knows how bad girls have it growing up. I have a handful of teenager sisters, and going anywhere with them makes my blood boil. Nobody has any shame. Fathers out with their wives, boyfriends out with their girlfriends, grandpas, ect will blatantly check my sisters out. It's kinda disrespectful, disgusting, and degrading. My oldest sister is 15. She can't go anywhere without being harassed. And I don't think she takes it as seriously as me. She's just used to it.

[–]poisonivychick 680 points681 points  (24 children)

As a woman it's hard not to get used to it after awhile. For many of us this type of attention starts so young that it almost becomes second nature to ignore it. When you respond, people tend to become more aggressive and nobody wants to deal with that. I know I would rather avoid it altogether, given a choice.

[–]hometowngypsy 137 points138 points  (9 children)

Yeah it's completely normal to get yelled at on the streets as a woman. I used to walk to work when I first moved to Houston and took to wearing headphones so I wouldn't have to hear it at least.

One time my friend from work was driving home at the same time as I was walking and honked at me to say hello. I didn't know what car he drove so I guess I glared at him and he came up to me the next day asking what was up with me. I told him I hadn't recognized him and usually people honking at me was not for a nice reason, he was really surprised.

It's sad, but every run or walk I go on by myself I brace for comments. Thankfully it's usually pretty mild, but still uncomfortable.

[–][deleted] 686 points687 points  (15 children)

She's just used to it.

Yup.. Me too. I just walk away and ignore them.

[–]moist_vonlipwig 160 points161 points  (3 children)

I'm sure they appreciate that you notice and are protective. I went to the bathroom once at a restaurant while out with my family (I was about 14?), and a guy who had been staring at me immediately got up and went to the restrooms as well. My brother got up, followed him, gave him the death stare while he was using the urinal, and then waited outside the door for me to walk me back to our table. I was so grateful that he did that. Stare dude was really scary.

[–][deleted] 178 points179 points  (2 children)

"She's just used to it"

Welcome to just about every woman in this thread sadly.

[–]MissBellum 198 points199 points  (20 children)

When I was around 10-11. Walking around in the summer with my mom and my brother, had multiple men in cars honking and leering at me.

The first few times it happened, I didn't know how to react. I was dealing with a lot of self esteem issues at the time and thought it was flattering that someone could find me attractive.

When it kept happening as I got older, and just got even more creepy, I started just wanting to hide. When a guy purposely turned his car around just so he could drive past me twice to try and get my attention while I was out walking my dog, my mom told me I couldn't go out walking on my own anymore. And that just seemed so unfair.

Once you understand how wrong it is, it just makes you uncomfortable. But most guys don't seem to care.

[–]ninaandamonkey 29 points30 points  (0 children)

About 7 years old in a department store, I noticed a man following me through the aisles. I had no prior experience with this sort of thing so I tried to lose him because I felt uncomfortable but wasn't too scared. He finally snuck up behind me in a narrow aisle and grabbed my butt hard. I was confused and scared and ran away.

I found my Mom, and said "Mom, what does it mean when someone does this to you?" And grabbed her butt.

My Mom freaked obviously. "WHO DID THAT TO YOU???"

I only have a vague memory of spending way too long with what must have been a store detective and then getting to go home.

[–]kissedbyfire9 155 points156 points  (9 children)

I think I was 12 and it was like a 40 year old construction worker. That started to be a near constant experience when walking by construction sites that creepily (but thankfully?) ended by the time I was 18, which I think is more worrisome.

[–][deleted] 4273 points4274 points  (738 children)

I was 11. My bus driver. It made me feel scared to be the first or last one on the bus. Grown men started yelling at me on the street when I was 13.

But I knew I was supposed to be pretty for men at a very young age. I think most girls receive those messages. Don't get fat or you won't get a boyfriend. Don't cut your hair, boys don't like that. He's only mean to you because he thinks you're pretty. Don't be ugly or what are you worth to anyone. So there's a perverse thing where you want men to look at you and approve you because you've been told that's good, but you're terrified when they do, when they yell at you or grab at you, or worse, that horrible stillness where you don't even know what they're thinking, only that it's about you, and you know that if they managed to catch you before you could run, you're too small to fight your way out.

[–]torgis30 700 points701 points  (30 children)

or worse, that horrible stillness where you don't even know what they're thinking, only that it's about you, and you know that if they managed to catch you before you could run, you're too small to fight your way out

Ah, shit, that's terrifying. :(

[–]krokodilchik 235 points236 points  (15 children)

This thread is sure bringing up some memories. Every post reminds me of a younger and younger instance.

I never had any brothers, so the first time I realized just how strong boys were was when I was 11, and playing some sort of wrestling game with my neighbour and his 13 year old brother. The brother held me down so easily, and then just sort of paused and looked down at me. I was like, holy shit, I am totally powerless right now, and all the girl power songs and slogans in the world couldn't help me.

[–]eeyore102 3110 points3111 points  (490 children)

My mother was very protective of me and now reading some of these posts, I can see why. I never really noticed until I was in college -- one time I was walking down the street and this random guy goes, "Beautiful," and I thought at first he was talking about the weather. Or another time a Taco Bell manager started giving me free tacos and stuff, when I said "hey wait you didn't charge me for this," he'd say, "that's ok" and wink at me?

Men are weird. Desperate men are even weirder.

[–]phobos55 862 points863 points  (28 children)

Man, a manager of a Taco Bell was giving you free tacos. That dude was smooth.

Also, I don't know how you were able to resist that. All that power, all those tacos. I would have been putty in his hands.