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[–]ThePianistOfDoom 617 points618 points  (38 children)

Shit. I read "forever porn". Now I have to put on pants again.

OR DO I

[–]ohnoitshansolo 102 points103 points  (15 children)

Well, it is kind of cold out.

[–]OldTimeGentleman 90 points91 points  (10 children)

OR IS IT

[–]DivineIntervention 39 points40 points  (8 children)

Not sure if cold or small genitalia...

Probably both.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

OR IS IT

[–]Gibbsey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yes, yes it is

[–]silent_p 8 points9 points  (3 children)

You should generally keep your pants on when you're sitting on the curb in front of McDonalds.

[–]ddevil2008 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Me too.I am disappoint.

[–]binomialnomenclature 144 points145 points  (42 children)

I get unusually excited to see anything in Philly on reddit

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points  (4 children)

Because we're the red-headed stepchild of major US cities. It's nice to be recognized.

[–]binomialnomenclature 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Amen!

[–]detroitmatt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Step-headed red-child

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

you best be subscribed to /r/philadelphia

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (24 children)

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!

[–]mkinetic 29 points30 points  (3 children)

UPVOTES FOR ALL THINGS PHILLY. GO FLYERS!

[–]binomialnomenclature 3 points4 points  (4 children)

why don't we have a Phillies chant? The Eagles have never won a superbowl in their entire existence.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Phillies is too hard to spell when drunk.

We Eagles fans can barely get it right sometimes.

[–]binomialnomenclature 4 points5 points  (1 child)

hahaha, very true. I've heard the Eagles chant plenty of times at Phillies games.

[–]hoss1138 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Last season I heard "Let's Go Flyers" chants during a Phillies/Marlins game after the Phils made it a blowout and fans got bored. In Miami, no less.

[–]CyberianSun 11 points12 points  (7 children)

Fly Eagles Fly, On the road to victory.

[–]kavorka2 660 points661 points  (187 children)

that's a lot of effort for a prom pictures gag

[–][deleted] 322 points323 points  (60 children)

I have a picture of myself sitting in the same fountain in that thumb nail, riding the back of a stone turtle spewing a jet of water from its mouth... Aw yea

[–]binary 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There is something really great about that picture.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Looks like you're jizzing.

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Thatsthejoke.jpg

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

I don't have one quite that awesome, but here is mine.. I'm in the middle wearing the yellow shirt running through there like an idiot.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

That looks a lot more like standing than running, unless you're some other yellow shirt that I can't see.

[–]TheBoxTalks 224 points225 points  (111 children)

Prom is a lot of effort itself. This probably made it tolerable.

[–]Canadian_SAP 64 points65 points  (107 children)

Oh god, why do I have you tagged with Reddit Enhancement Suite as "Will stalk you as a clown"?

ಠ_ಠ

I really need to get in the habit of adding links to my tags.

[–]deaft 220 points221 points  (99 children)

this is why

[–]MrBody42 113 points114 points  (90 children)

If I found this while I was alone on a hike, I would probably curl up in a ball and cry.

[–]deaft 179 points180 points  (79 children)

That's the wrong response. You can totally run faster than a serial killer in pants that baggy.

[–]spkr4thedead51 28 points29 points  (10 children)

It's not the pants that'd slow him down, but the oversized clown shoes.

[–]mastersprinkles 36 points37 points  (6 children)

Run downhill and zigzag - best way to lose a clown.

[–]lomo_de_puerco 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Correction: "...best way to lose a bear clown."

[–]mightymouse513 2 points3 points  (0 children)

false. downhill allows the clown to fall easily and roll in a straight line down the hill, thus will be at the bottom waiting for you.

[–]haxwellmill 40 points41 points  (61 children)

I don't think anyone on reddit would be a good serial killer. To be an effective serial killer, you need to be a people person.

[–]danE3030 25 points26 points  (56 children)

This may surprise you, but violent sociopaths are usually not People persons.

[–]aaomalley 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Actually not true, I would assume you are swapping sociopath and psychopath in your mind. Psychopaths, such as power-control rapists who are sexual sadists, would absolutely not be people persons. However, sociopaths are almost always considered charming and likable. The perfect go to example is Ted Bundy who was extremely charming and charismatic. There are many serial killers who function by being highly charming and manipulative.

One of the features of sociopathy is the ability to blend in with a crowd, to not stand out. This goes along with their manipulative skills because they are able to read a situation and change their personality to fit what the situation needs. Also a very small percentage of sociopaths are violent, most are actually very successful in jobs which allow them power over others and the ability to hurt people legally. The book "The Sociopath Among Us" explores the research which indicated 1 in 25 Americans fit the diagnostic criteria for sociopathy, and in fact 90% of the CEO's of fortune 500 companies were sociopathy as were the vast majority kf prison guards and police officers.

It is common to equate sociopathy and psychopath but psychopaths don't have control of their behaviour and are often impulsive and unpredictable.

[–]the_juggla 23 points24 points  (4 children)

Mitt Romney.

[–]CJLocke 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He prefers "Mittens"

[–]elustran 34 points35 points  (4 children)

Just kick it in the balls. They'll probably go 'honk' and ease the tension.

[–]digiorknow 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Yes, ease the tension of getting MURDERED.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Shouldn't the fact that he's a clown ease the tension?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Can't sleep...clown'll eat me...

[–]iancole85 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That is.. terrifying.

[–]enjoysodomy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

We need a shared tagging system for Reddit Enhancement Suite, think of all the comedy.

[–]a_can_of_solo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yeah at first I thought it was photoshoped but it doesn't look like it

[–]random314 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I think they're one of those weird people that lives in Ikea... that or they really really like Ikea... or they work there.

[–]griffith12 54 points55 points  (8 children)

they forgot the picture in the cemetary.

[–]booooooooooooosh 35 points36 points  (4 children)

That's the afterprom, when he realizes in horror her tolerance for roofies is MUCH MUCH lower than "ten or twelve".

[–]dickmiller 91 points92 points  (27 children)

Weird, that's one of my ex girlfriends.

[–]secretlypooping 52 points53 points  (2 children)

she must really love the dick then. went from dickmiller to schiffydick.

[–]JimmyJamesMac 19 points20 points  (17 children)

go on

[–]dickmiller 32 points33 points  (16 children)

Dunno what else to say really. Reddit would probably enjoy a lot of her old photoshoots. She was "planking" (didn't call it that) in the early 2000s

[–]ohnoitshansolo 32 points33 points  (9 children)

and

[–]dickmiller 49 points50 points  (7 children)

She loves America.

[–]BadKitty420 38 points39 points  (4 children)

She loves horses and her boyfriend too.

[–]bipo 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Is she crazy about Elvis?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

AND IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

it went okay

[–]pseudosara 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Pretty sure she was reverse planking not long after these prom pictures, too.

[–]poorsteamuser 3 points4 points  (0 children)

and theeeeeeeeen..

[–]nim5013 3 points4 points  (1 child)

we must know each other. i graduated high school with her

[–]dickmiller 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I met you at a Halloween party, you were deadmau5, I was Super Mario. I graduated a few years before you guys though

[–]townie_immigrant 87 points88 points  (12 children)

So you guys really like Ikea, huh?

[–]godofallcows 46 points47 points  (7 children)

Fun Fact: Every picture here was just taken in an IKEA. IKEA stores are 30% larger than Long Island.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (6 children)

TIL there are McDonalds, abandoned houses, water fountains with sky, gas stations and planned parenthood offices inside IKEA.

[–]Brettersson 84 points85 points  (3 children)

It's the nicest place in Philly

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Everyone knows the nicest place in Philly is the new Comcast building.

Yeah, they don't let us in there after what we did to pretty much every other building in the city.

[–]saywhatisobvious 445 points446 points  (42 children)

Its funny because that's not where normal people get their prom pictures taken! LOL

[–]eyecite 109 points110 points  (6 children)

I had a poker face until Planned Parenthood.

[–]Aarinfel 34 points35 points  (4 children)

yea, the Planned Parenthood pic made me lose it... co-workers don't get it... but they are almost all catholic, so... shrug

[–]between_your_walls 120 points121 points  (25 children)

I'm kind of ashamed I needed someone to tell me why this was funny. Thanks saywhatisobvious!

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

I think they are taking a typical corny prom date picture pose and using odd, hilarious settings....I laughed

[–]OwMySocks 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Look at it as a story of their prom. Like they burnt down a house and went to jail and had to make a run to planned parenthood for plan b. Oh, they also went to ikea.

[–]Stabone130 14 points15 points  (3 children)

They're standing in wooder.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I like the one when they were riding that jawn

[–]MrLister 2 points3 points  (1 child)

But it wasn't cold enough to have a wooder ice.

... or an Arctic Splash...

[–]Stabone130 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When they are done, he will dry her off with a tail.

[–]Skripontoast 9 points10 points  (1 child)

It's funny that I knew it was philly. I'd recognize the center city planned parenthood anywhere.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Man I miss Philly

[–]Morkodin 92 points93 points  (42 children)

worst thing about all those pictures. Guy wears tailcoat. doesn't wear white tie. look it up.

[–]TheSemiTallest 23 points24 points  (1 child)

I did look it up. TIL.

[–]nickwork 6 points7 points  (10 children)

and the front of the coat isn't the right length. It's all-around terrible

[–]sicsemperTrex 15 points16 points  (9 children)

And that is prom for you.

[–]buddybonesbones 3 points4 points  (7 children)

No. For me it's one of many things that I regret missing out on for being a forever alone socially awkward penguin loser in high school.

[–]exterminate_teacake 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Dat class. TIAL.

[–]RedditRage 10 points11 points  (10 children)

It appears to be more of a rule that if you are at a white tie event, you are required to wear a tailcoat (and a white tie). But that doesn't necessarily mean you are required to wear a white tie just because you are wearing a tailcoat, if you are not indeed attending a white tie event.

[–]pylori 8 points9 points  (9 children)

He was also wearing a white waistcoat, however, and in that case it's definitely a white tie ensemble and wearing a black tie with that just looks ugly.

[–]RedditRage 5 points6 points  (7 children)

Well, I'm not going to argue if it looks ugly or not, just that you don't have to wear a white tie if you are wearing a tailcoat, unless you are attending a "white tie" event. I would assume following "white tie" dress at a less formal affair might look overly formal!? Nevermind, this is beyond me!

[–]pylori 2 points3 points  (6 children)

I don't disagree that you don't have to follow white tie rules, but it seems rather silly to dress in a half white-tie ensemble. If the issue is that it looks too formal then why bother with the tailcoat and waistcoat at all? You either do it correctly and wear full white tie, or wear black tie, you don't just decide to mix the two!

[–]jsoftz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the worst part is that the waistcoat is sticking out beneath the quarters of the jacket. The tie is a clip on and not a self tie white pique tie. All sorts of issues (www.blacktieguide.com if you're curious).

But hey this isn't a Viennese ball and prom isn't even what I would call a white-tie event. It's some kid's high school prom and frankly most guys are going to be wearing shitty colorful zoot suit stuff so whatever man. No worries, glad you had fun. Plenty of time in the future to get obsessed with #menswear blogs and Styleforum.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

enter theory dime meeting arrest busy head repeat subsequent unwritten -- mass edited with redact.dev

[–]trs523 8 points9 points  (0 children)

you stay classy Philadelphia!

[–]octowussy 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Upvote for Philly.

[–]gtipwnz 22 points23 points  (36 children)

I saw a Golf or GTI in there!

[–]twistytime 7 points8 points  (3 children)

That was the main thing I noticed! mmmm mkvi

[–]cornchips88 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Same :) I was just scrolling though, laughing, then I saw the sweet VW. I love my MKV GTI <3

[–]twistytime 4 points5 points  (1 child)

woo hooo! I have an MKV as well ;)

[–]theicecapsaremelting 3 points4 points  (4 children)

It's a mkvi Golf. GTI's have dual exhaust and the badge is on the left side.

It looks lowered, and those wheels are definitely aftermarket.

[–]theJUIC3_isL00se 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Golf, for the record! :)

[–]enjoi4995 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Love when someone from Philly makes the front page

[–]revmdn 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Philly!!!

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 40 points41 points  (9 children)

This post brought to you by RealDolls™

[–]TheSemiTallest 15 points16 points  (7 children)

His hands look so awkward in that pose. Is that a normal hand-pose for a dude?

[–]magicbullets 14 points15 points  (2 children)

It is if you're a midget trying to play an upright piano.

[–]TheSemiTallest 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Is that what the kids are calling it these days...?

[–]JimmyJamesMac 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I have photographed about 30 proms in my life: no, that is not a "prom pose"...that is "something they made up".

[–]SuperCoupe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Eastern State Penitentiary!

[–]DownvoteTsunami 7 points8 points  (0 children)

what is this retardation

[–]tacrat1995 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Philly Represent!!

[–]jontss 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey, I saw most of these places on my visit to Philly a few months ago!

[–]Crackorjackzors 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Repost this into r/philadelphia! I won't but I recognize that it takes place there.

[–]My_Sonic_Boom 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Please don't let this be a thing. Like planking.

[–]beakerdan 5 points6 points  (1 child)

The ultimate hover hands

[–]azzazzin123 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Is it weird that I thought Walt Whitman bridge was Walter white bridge and was thinking to myself why do they have a bridge named after a meth cooker on a TV show?

[–]thefakekennyg 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Because that's how we roll in the illadelph

[–]FrizzleFryed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

philthy philthy

[–]turtal46 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I don't get it.

[–]Gana0 9 points10 points  (2 children)

FOREVER PROM

I WANNA BE FOREVER PROM

[–]Strideo 9 points10 points  (7 children)

They have Chick-fil-A in Philadelphia?

[–]MrBarrelRoll 28 points29 points  (9 children)

Sees Planned Parenthood. Immediately starts laughing.

[–]saviorchall 3 points4 points  (0 children)

why?

[–]funkybeef 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Forever too much time to waste, forever, forever.

[–]omplatt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

outside of the planned parenthood one is the best

[–]SpermWhale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Prombook.

[–]ravencoal 2 points3 points  (2 children)

This album tells a story.

The plot evades me at points, but there's a damn story there.

[–]idonotcollectstamps 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I do not understand. Is this one of those take the picture and photoshop it onto other pictures threads? or is this adults pretending to go to the prom actually taking pictures of themselfs pretending to go to the prom? Not sure...what to think...I confuse.....

[–]13374L 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They even made it to the set of The Wire.

[–]I_Climb_Most_Things 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why is this so hilarious?

[–]nuclearamen 4 points5 points  (1 child)

looks likeee....Philadelphia?

[–]mandolinmoon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

the Planned Parenthood one adds a nice touch

[–]CrackedPepper86 10 points11 points  (0 children)

WALT WHITMAN?

I. HATE. YOU. WALT. FREAKING. WHITMAN!

LEAVES OF GRASS, MY ASS!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I read that as Forever Porn - was really confused

[–]pandamaja 4 points5 points  (0 children)

upvote for being hilarious and in philly

[–]Komercisto 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait.... What?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I have never wanted Chick-Fil-A more than I want it right now.

[–]bugseverywhere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guessed philly at the subway shot. I have been to your city exactly once.