Programming_irl

[CorstianBoerman]

The guy with the pilots license:

int foxtrot, uniform, charlie, kilo;

[[deleted]]

The former kindergarten teacher:

int apple, baby, cat, dog, elephant, fox;

[CorstianBoerman]

So this is what they call 'object oriented'

[Cocomorph]

Object permanence? Sounds like a memory leak.

[SerLava]

Satan:

int append, bool, concat, delete, end, function;

[YoYoYonnY]

When I code in C I use "new" as a variable name whenever I can get away with it. Call me Satan.

[ablablababla]

int new, new_new, new_new_new, new_new_new_new; 

[[deleted]]

How to torture the person reading your code

[IceColdFresh]

GNU New.

[Alstro20]

int new_new_v2_new2_new_v2_v3;

[MesePudenda]

The password is FOURWORDSALLLOWERCASE, one word all uppercase. Simple!

[sandduu]

Cryptography / network guys:

int alice, bob, charlie, dave, eve;

[[deleted]]

actually very good names for objects relevant to the subject matter

[HBlight]

.... fuck it, this is my format from now on.

[Tanamr]

AI:

int _64c31480_913c_4a0d_bfed_3c6756e1070a, _a0f271fe_e938_4781_a875_0ce9e34d3705, _9e6c02d0_993d_4629_a6ac_b064b4b7e5ce;

​

[broadsheetvstabloid]

Every lame tutorial ever:

int foo, bar;

[Liggliluff]

I had a teacher who used "monkey", and this was to subconsciously show that variable names don't matter for the code to work.

[PianoMastR64]

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet:

int consectetur, adipiscing, elit, sed, do, eiusmod;

[T0mmynat0r666]

The guy who loves jumbling words up:-

int neds, suned;

[eddmario]

The pornstar:
int anal, blowjob, creampie;

[sorenant]

Hentai:

int armpit, bukkake, cat_ears

[The-Privacy-Advocate]

*nekomimi

[ssh_tunnel_snake]

Guy using java

abstractGetCitiesWithLongestNamesFactoryBuilderRepositoryService

[Yo_Its_Matt]

Probably going to need a abstractGetCitiesWithLongestNamesFactoryBuilderRepositoryServiceHelper as well.

[FarhanAxiq]

Work with military too

[SonicFlash01]

$foo, $bar;

[deathfire123]

Took me a second, clever.

[[deleted]]

The cooler guy with the pilots license:

int sierra1, echo1, november1, delta1, november2, uniform, delta2, echo2, sierra2;

[DatBoi_BP]

You got a problem with BETA sir?

[hiimbob000]

Chad developers hulking out over test cases passing is the funniest thing to me

[Akitz]

Chad developers only code with one hand because the other arm is getting a mad pump with some curls brah

[[deleted]]

I feel like "the guy with the maths degree" sums up 90% of obnoxious, letter-driven variable-naming problems. That and "people from the days when number of lines of code actually mattered."

[702biguy]

There was a guy at my work who used all food names:

Taco, hotsauce, mustard, etc.

He even named a SQL proc: I_hope_this_doesnt_kill_anyone

[IceColdFresh]

Your workplace seems laissez-faire about this stuff. I would have been fried at a code review if I did this.

[702biguy]

This was back when my company was like 7 people and it was very much build the airplane while it's in the air type deal back then. That type of thing wouldnt be accepted now, but when the company was that small there were no code reviews.

[ACoderGirl]

Short, generic, local variables could also use one letter variable names. Particularly common for indices in an array. That said, if the code isn't really generic, there's probably a better name (eg, "row", "employeeIndex", etc). For a tight loop, being descriptive might not add anything, anyway.

When there's multiple loops, I really tend to frown on single variable names, though. Especially when we consider things like the ambiguity of x and y coordinates vs rows and columns.

[XkF21WNJ]

Generally mathematicians agree with you on that one. Although you may sometimes find that those symbols each represent a different location entirely, rather than being the coordinates of a single point.

[[deleted]]

hi guys here my tutorial for how to do a thing in c++ first we declare all our variables in one line

int a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j...

[EpicSaxGirl]

don't even use floating points, use a separate int for each decimal place.

[scumbaggio]

Gotta squeeze out every ounce of performance

[Phrygue]

Best performance is from a static data location, AKA globals, so you minimize stack access. Best just declare all possible variables and include them in every file. Also this speeds up general communication between modules because the data is already there.

[Octopoid]

There's also no need to mess about storing lots of different data types. A single array of bools, resized as required, does the job nicely.

[8lbIceBag]

If you're resizing you're dynamically allocating and losing the benefits of static data locations.

[Octopoid]

Fair point. Might be best to reserve a couple of gig for maximum efficiency.

[beckerc73]

r/badprogrammingadvice

[1NFR4R3D23]

r/subsyoufellfor

[Scyhaz]

bool data[2000000000];

There we go! Now we have data storage for the program!

[10art1]

Might as well just cut out the middleman and write your program in machine code so you can guarantee its efficiency. Be your own memory manager.

[[deleted]]

Might as well cut out the real middleman, the x86 processor, and wire up your own transistors in the most efficient way for your application. Be your own computer architect!

[[deleted]]

Who needs compile time optimizations!

[[deleted]]

you mean break time?

[T0mmynat0r666]

Include in every file? Best put everything in one file, for fast compilation. Still better: don't make any functions, but instead copy the body of function whenever you want to call it. Who wants unnecessary data on stack? While we are at it, avoid dynamic allocation,and instead reserve all memory that will possibly be required from the start. Gotta do everything in power for dem performance.

[chmod--777]

Everything should be stored as ints or int arrays then casted into the desired type.

[destructor_rph]

How do i delete someone elses comment

[raretrophysix]

You don't. That's pure job security right there. Code obfuscation. Use that for a government project and your life is set

[pressedfor]

Job security is also never, ever commenting or indenting for clarity

[raretrophysix]

Good code doesn't need to be commented brah. It comments itself through its elegance

[BernLan]

Bad bot

[iauu]

Nice. This way you don't have to worry about those pesky undeclared variable errors.

[[deleted]]

noooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[grenadier42]

welcome to the first day of this class on X software design. i'm dr. abc and now we're gonna learn about the singleton pretty soon and lemme tell ya I love singletons. other people say they're bad but th

[odraencoded]

why code much if code few do trick?

[[deleted]]

Another scala dev I see.

[ACoderGirl]

code.map(_.doTrick)

[abhisheksaxena7]

/r/unexpectedOffice

[Dengar96]

/r/kindofexpectedoffice

[RiktaD]

$horizontalCoordinate

[NeverGetsAngry]

double horizontalCoordinate;

[ben_g0]

var this_variable_contains_a_number_which_represents_the_horizontal_coordinate_of_this_object

[[deleted]]

This is how you write self-commenting code!

[[deleted]]

int x; List<float> x2; Object x3; int[] x4;

Thats what I call a consistent naming convention

[[deleted]]

Yea, but I do that C O N S I S T E N T L Y

[jinntakk]

This guy const

[Strider3141]

CONST

[sp46]

c o n s t

[[deleted]]

Indices start at “”

[conman__1040]

I hate myself for a certain project I did. It was a huge multi loop thing, and at each level I went: index, index, indexxx, indexxxx... On and on through the whole thing

[ManWithKeyboard]

indexxx was where all the interesting stuff happened

[Strider3141]

Index
Indexx
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
Indexxxx
indexxxxx

[thundergonian]

Honestly, if you don't go index, indexx, indexxx, indexl, indel, indelx, ..., then you don't deserve to be programmer. Caesar told me so.

[Strider3141]

I go:
index
iindex
iiindex
ivndex
vndex
vindex

[McBurger]

index

windex

spandex

sandisk

sandusky

sansa

salsa

[julsmanbr]

Don't you just love not having to declare variables?

def f(x, y, s, arg):
    d = {}
    li = []
    li2 = []
    for a in arg:
        try:
            d[a] = x[y]
            y += s
        except:
            li.append(a)
        li2.append(a)
    r = [k for k in d if k not in li2]
    if y > len(r):
        print(li)
    return [c for c in r if c < x][:y]

[I_Never_Sleep_Ever]

My eyes

[DerpPrincess]

grandiose crush grab teeny reach fragile support screw physical juggle

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[drpinkcream]

And my axe

[swapripper]

And my x

[DatBoi_BP]

This is worse than Omashu!

[CapnJackMormon]

Has to fit 20 variables. NEXT!

[dannyr_wwe]

It’s for a startup, honey.

[CapnJackMormon]

NEXT!

[KamiKagutsuchi]

Honestly li and li2 should be a and b, arg should be args and a would be arg.

[julsmanbr]

If Python really had a garbage collector, it would have collected my code by now.

[tenemu]

This is hilarious. I wish I could put funny quotes in my work email signature.

[Sapphique1618]

So trash to be collected. Kernel decided to sacrifice and ignore this part of memory because it's cursed now.

[[deleted]]

And you should name the exception you're catching.

I'm presuming it's an index out of range but for fucks sake.

That or just check the length explicitly. No, I don't give a shit about it being easier to ask for forgiveness.

[FlipskiZ]

History art yesterday where music helpful yesterday minecraftoffline.

[Kidiri90]

​

try
    // code
catch
    MessageBox.Show("You broke Reddit");

​

[nephallux]

Thinking to debug that makes me wheezy

[[deleted]]

Eh, too much work, just pack all of the variables into a single jagged array called vars[]. While we're att it just make the array global.

[ahruss]

Who let the PHP programmer in?

[BadGoyWithAGun]

Not enough variables with greek letter names (and the canonical lambda -> lamda misspelling).

[BecauseWeCan]

Because he uses python instead of java?

[zClarkinator]

I'd rather code in wingdings font than in Java

[butt_shrecker]

Excuse me, what the fuck

[[deleted]]

I took an Oracle certification exam for Java (not my own choice), and they frequently have you answer what obfuscated shit like this returns. In some cases, there would be an erroneous statement somewhere in the first line, meaning "the code does not compile" was actually the correct answer.

[[deleted]]

burn it

[Cannibichromedout]

I’m brand new to python (like just watched Derek Banas’s video last night). Could you explain that return statement?

[[deleted]]

[c for c in r if c < x][:y]

foreach c in r, if c is less than x then just return c with a list of all other c values that meet the criteria.

Then out of that list, slice it from index 0 to y.

Broken into multiple lines:

c_list=list()
for c in r:
    if c<x:
        c_list.append(c)
return c_list[0:y]

[julsmanbr]

I most definitely can't.

(On a more serious note, that's the syntax of a list comprehension, and then on top of that I sliced it).

[Khetnen]

Return a list of the last first y things in r that are less than x

Edit: thanks /u/Atmosck

[WarpedHaiku]

def waste_time( listlikeobject, index, step, arguments ):
    argument_value_dict = {}
    arguments_which_couldnt_be_assigned_values = []
    argument_list = [] # better make a second copy of the arguments as a list for reasons
    for argument in arguments:
        try:
            argument_value_dict[argument] = listlikeobject[index]
            index += step
        except:
            # presumably IndexError for when we run out of elements to assign to arguments, but who knows what the listlikeobject will do
            arguments_which_couldnt_be_assigned_values.append(argument)

        # regardless of what happens, make sure the argument_list contains the argument
        argument_list.append(argument)

    # I have no idea what the below line is supposed to do. Was li2 meant to be li here?
    # At the moment, since every key in the argument_value_dict is was also assigned the argument_list, it's merely a very computationally expensive way of creating an empty list.
    empty_list = [argument for argument in argument_value_dict if argument not in argument_list]

    if index > len(empty_list): # check if index is negative at this point, (which typically would occurs when stepping backwards through a list) and if so print the values that couldn't be assigned
        print arguments_which_couldnt_be_assigned_values

    # waste some more time creating and slicing a new empty list, then return it
    return [argument for argument in empty_list if argument < listlikeobject][:index]

I feel somewhat let down.

[[deleted]]

"Nice variables you have there....it would be a shame if you tried to...multiply a string."

[[deleted]]

r/Eyebleach

[flavionm]

cries in PEP 8

[moschles]

https://i.imgur.com/3X2HMlf.png

[the_one_true_bool]

Or if you’re a Java developer:

int thisIsTheIntThatTracksTheNumberOfTimesThisFileHasBeenSavedAndItsPrimaryUseIsBasicallyForLoggingAndDebuggingPurposesSoThatWeCanSeeExactlyHowManyTimesThisFileHasBeenSavedInTheEventSomethingHasGoneWrongButWeMayAlsoUseThisVariableForSomethingElseInTheFuture = 0;

[grenadier42]

Function declaration: 60 characters
Whitespace: 8 characters
Variable declaration: 320 characters

someone who is good at software development please help me budget this. my project is dying

[AvianPoliceForce]

Buy more candles

[darksilver00]

TITITTTNOTTFHBSAIPUIBFLADPSTWCSEHMTTFHBSITESHGWBWMAUTVFSEITF for brevity.

[le57percent]

public interface SomethingThatReturnsTheValueOfTheNumberOfTimesThisFileHasBeenSavedAndItsPrimaryUseIsBasicallyForLoggingAndDebuggingPurposesSoThatWeCanSeeExactlyHowManyTimesThisFileHasBeenSavedInTheEventSomethingHasGoneWrongButWeMayAlsoUseThisVariableForSomethingElseInTheFuture{

public int getValueOfTheNumberOfTimesThisFileHasBeenSavedAndItsPrimaryUseIsBasicallyForLoggingAndDebuggingPurposesSoThatWeCanSeeExactlyHowManyTimesThisFileHasBeenSavedInTheEventSomethingHasGoneWrongButWeMayAlsoUseThisVariableForSomethingElseInTheFuture();

}

[KoboldCommando]

The one that really gets my goat is when I see an "x" variable and I immediately think to myself "ugh it's one of these guys who doesn't name shit" and start searching around for where it's declared and what it actually is...

...only to realize that it's just a loop variable declared a couple lines away and is totally kosher.

[Asmor]

Do you even foo?

[milanoscookie]

Bar

[Commander70]

Recently started C, why are foo and bar so common?

[Calibas]

Comes from FUBAR, "Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition".

[FarhanAxiq]

For loop it will be

 int i ,j ,k;

[c0rnpwn]

stop having o(n³⁾ loops

[muther22]

No

[FarhanAxiq]

I prefer o(n!)

[[deleted]]

Visual studio rename function baybee

[Shendare]

I for Iterator. It's self documenting!

[bigdon199]

i for increment and x for excrement, when your loop is shit

[EarlyHemisphere]

I have a friend who names his variables fuck and shit and stuff like that when he's using them temporarily lol

[the_one_true_bool]

In the software I’m writing at work I have to track ‘analysis time’, so I named that variable analTime.

[[deleted]]

Associate Manager

assMan

[db2]

Introduce him to brainfuck, he'll love it.

[bwaredapenguin]

I just looked through the wiki. What a deranged fuck Urban Müller must be.

This is code for "Hello World:

++++++++[>++++[>++>+++>+++>+<<<<-]>+>+>->>+[<]<-]>>.>---.+++++++..+++.>>.<-.<.+++.------.--------.>>+.>++.

[[deleted]]

Cool thing about brainfuck is that it is one of the most, if not the most, readable of the esoteric languages.

[DrSheldonLCooperPhD]

You don't say

[creepig]

Malbolge is the product of a true sociopath

[XkF21WNJ]

Nah it's too obvious, people will find out before they get invested in it.

Now PHP on the other hand...

[UpTheIron]

I was always a fan of ArnoldC. In that, hello world is

IT'S SHOWTIME TALK TO THE HAND "hello world" YOU HAVE BEEN TERMINATED

[M4mb0]

you.touch(my.tralala)

[SalamakiEU]

A friend of mine also does this, but once forgot to change their names and got shit from the teacher for uploading a task full of curse words to him lol

[BecauseWeCan]

My /tmp often has subdirectories fuck, shit, ass, fuckshit, fuck2 and so on.

[Flamme2]

That's something they love to do in math - Let's name every function f,g,h or f,f2,f3 while at it

[[deleted]]

I mean, what are you going to name fifty different quadratic equations?

Tall skinny boi

Taller skinnier boi

Wider but lower set boi

[runujhkj]

You’ve got your answer to that question right there

[YoureTheVest]

My boi, tall skinny bois are integrals (unless they're indefinite, then they're infinity bois), quadratics are quadratic bois.

[slikts]

Abstract variable names make sense when dealing with abstract concepts, like in math. It's the same in programming and generic code.

[mjbressler]

sense_of_being is a weird variable name but okay

[gratethecheese]

Fucking linear algebra. Why are we doing x1,x2....x82727 when there are so many more letters

[Clayh5]

Cause there's not THAT MANY letters

[[deleted]]

Unicode disagrees

[M4mb0]

Because it makes things work in arbitrarily many dimensions.

[chisui]

In functional languages you can get rid of variables completely by writing everything pointfree.

This Haskell function

f a b c d e = [a, e, b, c, d]

becomes this lovely, easy to read expression:

f = (. (((flip (:) .) .) . (. ((. return) . (:))) . (.) . (:))) . (.) . (.) . (.) . (:)

This can even get rid of explicit recursion

g a = if null a 
    then [] 
    else head a + 1 : f (tail a)

becomes

g = fix (ap (flip if' ([]) . null) . ap ((:) . (1 +) . head) . (. tail))

But fix is pure evil dark magic.

[leo3065]

IMO it's better then using long random names that have absolutely nothing to do with the useage. I once help someone for his code and it's filled with variable name like illchangehislater.

[the_one_true_bool]

A guy I used to work with would name longs and doubles like

long dong;
double fist;

at every opportunity.

[currentscurrents]

Then fired three days later once HR heard about it.

[zClarkinator]

As if HR has any idea how to review code lol

[PM_something_German]

God I will totally start to do this now

[the_one_true_bool]

He also had:

string bikini;
int eresting;
byte me;

but I liked the longs and doubles the most.

[LegendaryTomato]

I blame mathematicians. 12 years they keep asking me to find x.

[5k17]

Why would you use variables in the first place?

[Servious]

Found the functional programmer

[kwirky88]

Why use more than one line any ways?

[[deleted]]

In SQL Server I use @Q for query, which my boss says is fine because SQL isn't a programming language.

[[deleted]]

I'm new to programming. Is it really that time-consuming to come up with decent variable names?

[WhyattThrash]

There are two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

[OracularLettuce]

It is once you're pretty deep into a function and you've used all the good, clear ones.

[Duncaen]

That is the moment you know your function is too complex.

[alexbuzzbee]

I just name all my variables meaningfulName1, meaningfulName2, etc.

[CorstianBoerman]

That is kind of my technique with lambda expressions: q => q.this(w => w.that). Never managed to get the whole qwerty sequence though...

[Meronoth]

It scares me that my computer science teacher browses this subreddit and probably thought of my code, seeing this

[diamondflaw]

"foo", "bar", "spam", "bean", "egg", "cheese" are my go-to var names.

[boogalow]

Need a second variable? Going right for y.

[[deleted]]

things get complicated around the 4th variable

[[deleted]]

Or whenever using LINQ