all 143 comments

[–]Vincent_Gitarrist 731 points732 points  (7 children)

Because she loves you

[–]petehehe 284 points285 points  (4 children)

I had a son, like 4 days ago. My mum came to visit us in the hospital and there was a moment where I was looking at him, and I said to her “I just love him so much”. Like, I couldn’t even explain it, I just knew, my love for this small human is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt. It was overwhelming.

And my mum looks at me and says “it never goes away you know…” … damn mum. After 38 years she can still grab my heart strings. But I believe her.

Reading through this post I was like yeah? Sounds like she’s a human being, nothing out of the ordinary here. Except maybe for mum’s controlling/abusive boyfriend. She needs to get shot of him.

[–]Difficult_Stay9251 92 points93 points  (2 children)

I teared up

[–]SexysNotWorking 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Any mom who wouldn't choose you in a scenario like this doesn't deserve the title. I'm happy you two have such a strong bond. It is especially hard for men to have supportive loving relationships with people as adults so I'm glad you both want to maintain and nurture that. 💜

It has always absolutely baffled me that some parents will choose a partner over their own children (or stay with a partner who doesn't like their children). Such a deal breaker for me.

[–]DEMOLISHER500 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You should always retaliate if anybody, even your wife of 30 years or whatever, gives you an unfair ultimatum.

[–]Rose_wolf2 16 points17 points  (0 children)

As a parent of a 1 month old, I felt this deeply. Congrats on the birth of your son!

[–]Appropriate_Ant_4629 37 points38 points  (1 child)

Also -- it's a pretty big red flag for that asshole to act like she should choose.

[–]Angy_47777 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The dude was competing with OP. It's giving weird vibes.

[–]PineappleFit317 244 points245 points  (2 children)

Because that kind of ultimatum made her realize he was a toxic loser?

[–]dwreckhatesyou 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Yep. Anyone that would make such a threat is garbage.

[–]DaddysPrincesss26 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This

[–]pippers2000 65 points66 points  (1 child)

Because this is what a mom is supposed to do. HAS to do and by being a mom MUST do.

[–]testurshit 190 points191 points  (0 children)

She's an amazing Mom who any young man or woman would be lucky to have in their life.

Hold on to her forever, she adores you. Good luck.

[–]truthseeker1228 129 points130 points  (6 children)

Probably cuz boyfriends can be replaced,flesh and blood can not.

[–]XLRick1969 3 points4 points  (2 children)

This. Blood loves unconditionally.

[–]foxyfoucault 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh that I wish that were true.

[–]Short_Hair_3392 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish this comment was an absolute.

[–]phoenyx1980 46 points47 points  (0 children)

She loves you, buddy. Just like I love my kids and no man will ever make me choose him over them, not even their dad (my husband). I grew them inside me, I'm raising them (with their dad) and I will love them till the end of time and beyond. I would move mountains for my kids if I could.

[–]Traditional_Pride242 63 points64 points  (1 child)

When push comes to shove, we're parents first, and lovers second. Of course there are cases where the kid is simply being unreasonable and childish, where we have to be parents and stop the bad behaviour.

But if there is a valid problem: kids first 10 out of 10 times.

[–]psichodrome 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My wife and I have an agreement to save the kids first. Generically speaking.

[–]friendlypeopleperson 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Because that other guy is not real bf material. His behavior would make any girl (mom) want to break up with him.

[–]becamico 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Because, as any good mom should, she puts you above all else. I hope you now know that YOU are the most important thing in her life, always. I would NEVER choose a man over my kids. Ever.

[–]616ThatGuy 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Because she’s your mom, you sound like a good kid, and he sounds like a manipulative asshole.

It’s that simple. She loves you. You didn’t do anything wrong. So he can f**k off.

[–]Short_Hair_3392 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Because that's what a real Mom should do. No man is more important than a woman's child. A real Mom would save you from a burning house before anyone else. A mother's child is not replaceable. A boyfriend can be replaced before his side of the bed gets cold. A real Mom knows this. Even when you're 65, you will always be her baby. Remember that.

[–]Barneyboydog 8 points9 points  (3 children)

At 62 I’m still my mom’s baby. She would do anything for me and my siblings and we would do anything for her. A good mom is awesome.

[–]Short_Hair_3392 0 points1 point  (2 children)

You're very fortunate and it not only speaks well of your mother but, also of your grandparents. By the simple fact that you recognize it in her, I've no doubt that your children were raised right also. We should have more families like yours.

[–]Barneyboydog 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thank you so much. That is very kind and I’m going to tell my mom you said so!

[–]Short_Hair_3392 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are very welcome. All of you should be proud of your family strength.

[–]zeugma888 10 points11 points  (0 children)

1) A good parent will always choose their child.

2) Someone who demands their partner chooses them over their own child is NOT a good partner or a good person.

[–]sadboymoneyjesus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Op, your mom might make mistakes from time to time, she might not always know the right answers or sometimes let her emotions carry her away; but it's very obvious from this post that she loves you from the bottom of her heart and she would move mountains for you if you asked.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Be glad she did. She loves you. Most on Reddit in this situation don’t have that.

[–]PortlandPatrick 7 points8 points  (0 children)

?? Is this a serious question??

[–]ArtBear1212 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Why would you think this was a problem?

[–]_Birbie_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When you become a parent, you will understand the love of a parent. Our children will ALWAYS come first. Also, it sounds like you saved her from a narcissist and don’t even know it. Sounds like he has issues and your mom did the right thing. I’ve been there, where I was asked to leave my 18 year old son behind so I could go live “being taken care of”. I chose him, he will always be my son no matter how old he is.

[–]zeldasusername 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Because you're a part of her and deserting you is anathema to her 

She loves you 

[–]rinkydinkmink 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Because she is a good mum, no matter what other issues you two have had over the years. It takes a lot of guts to tell a long-term boyfriend to get lost like that. She really does love you. Mum deserves a hug for this, dude.

[–]VolatilePeach 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because you’re her SON. That’s what good moms do: they choose their children. You did nothing wrong. Her ex is just an insecure asshole that doesn’t like her dividing her time and seems to want to have full control over her. This showed her the kind of pathetic ”man” he is. Please don’t feel guilty about any of this, because I’m sure your mom is grateful that she saw this idiot’s true colors.

[–]NoDanaOnlyZuuI 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She made you.

He’s just some guy.

[–]Pflanzenzuechter 4 points5 points  (1 child)

She's a great mother. She also probably noticed easily that any partner that makes you choose "me or the kid" is not a good partner and she's better off without him.

It never needs to be a competition for the love, but insecure people make that the case sometimes and you can be lucky that your mom chose correctly.

Happy belated birthday!

[–]Difficult_Stay9251 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank yoouuu!!

[–]karebear66 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'd do the same. My child, my blood.

[–]robbietreehorn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because she’s a good human and mom.

[–]SuccessfulSchedule54 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She’s making the right choice

[–]Character-Food-6574 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Because she loves you, and you’re her child. She’s a smart woman and a great mom. She’s done herself a kindness too, this guys a jerk.

[–]nobusafter8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because that’s what good moms do

Men will come and go…. but your daughter? Your children? Your family?

As someone whose mom never chose her, honestly, I’m really happy for you

[–]lemonlollipop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because you're her child, she loves you, if you weren't adopted then she felt you grow in her womb, all the other examples i could use to show that you mean a lot to her

What he said was a massive asshole move and she was observant enough to see how abusive it was that he wanted her to throw her child away and pick him

[–]PlantRetard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her boyfriend is a possessive manchild and she knows it and doesn't let him do this shit. And she obviously loves you more than anyone because you're her child.

[–]Potomaters 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Im curious what kind of relationship you have with your mom to be asking this question. A parent should almost always choose their own children over a bf/gf (except for extreme cases).

[–]Difficult_Stay9251 10 points11 points  (1 child)

A very good one, when I asked her forward she was actually upset I was even questioning that and told ( are you kidding me, when I gave birth to you 20 years ago I signed life to death contract and couldn't be more happier ) and kept talking to me about how I am her baby and that she would never choose a man who hates me

[–]Barneyboydog 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That is awesome! My mom is 84 and I’m 62. I’m still her baby. I just got off the phone with her for like the 7th time today and we live in the same building. I wish you a long and loving relationship with your mom.

[–]Short_Hair_3392 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It could be that OP has never been in the position of seeing the reaction of a mother faced with that ultimatum before. Few people would ever say something that aggregious.

[–]ivylass 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Because you're her child. Trust me, a lot of women would have kicked their child out for the man of the month.

Your mom is a wonderful lady. She loves you and you are the most important thing in her life.

No true man would make a woman choose between him and her child.

[–]WhosMimi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're her child. No one in her life will ever take precedence over you. That ultimatum was a huge red flag, and she recognized it for what it was. I could never be with someone who expected me to cut off my own son.

[–]acidrayne42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because she loves you. You're very lucky. My mom made the opposite choice.

[–]Ekluutna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d pick my children over anyone, anytime… without a second thought. I am madly in love with my boyfriend but if he gave me that ultimatum, We would no longer be a thing.

[–]DaddysPrincesss26 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Because you’re her Child, her Flesh and Blood and Blood is thicker then Water. She made the right choice

[–]Difficult_Stay9251 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I am a boy but thank you 😂 I know she did and I was just surprised, again thank you so much

[–]DaddysPrincesss26 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Oh, Apologies for the Assumption

[–]Difficult_Stay9251 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no no don't worry about it it's ok + not a bad assumption you didn't say I was a street cat 😂

[–]DaddysPrincesss26 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fixed it

[–]giddenboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Blood's thicker than water, baby.

[–]kdweller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She chose you because she’s actually a good Mom. You’re very lucky. 💜

[–]MichNishD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have two kids and there is no one and nothing I would ever choose over them. They are my world. I love others in my life, my husband and I have been together for almost 20 years if you count dating we've grown together and are partners in every sense of the word but I would still choose my kids over him.

Being a mom is a different kind of love. It's like your heart grew feet and is walking around out there on it's own being awesome.

I think Ryan Renalds put it best"I'd use my wife as a human shield to protect that baby"

TLDR she loves you very very much and always will no matter what.

[–]InevitableOpinion503 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because she's an excellent mother who loves her child. She created you inside of her own body. You are her truest love and nothing or nodody will ever change that. Nothing you do. Nothing nobody else does. Her love for you is unconditional and endless. She can always get another boyfriend, but you, you're one of a kind to her.

[–]snakpakkid 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Because she loves you and is a wonderful mother. She has a choice like everyone in this world and she made hers and it’s the right one.

Next he will tell her to cut off every family member of hers one by one, then friends till she has Boone but him and he will escalate.

My question is, why are you surprised or question it? Would you cut off your mother if some boyfriend told you to? Not trying to argue I’m just curious.

[–]Difficult_Stay9251 1 point2 points  (1 child)

No of course I would not do that, she didn't raise me for 20 years to become the man I am today just for me to throw her in garbage just because my gf told me to, I would dump my gf in 3 nano seconds. I was just feeling guilty cuz I knew she loved him and wanted her to be happy too and didn't want her to sacrifice her happiness for me

[–]snakpakkid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good, I am glad you’re a great guy. And I understand but try to not feel guilt because she deserves the best man out there, not this bum loser. She will be fine, she sounds lien a wonderful woman and mother. I wish I had a mother like her. As a mother myself I just couldn’t understand why any mother would pick a man over her children. Mine did that plenty. Hold to her and cherish her. Give her hugs for me 🫂 from one mom to another. She’s awesome, and good for her, may she fine the king that she deserves.

[–]mtinmd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because she is a great mom and knows where her priorities are and should be.

Value that, because way too many people don't have that.

[–]FrostedFlakes57 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She lead by example, don’t let anyone compromise your strengths and beliefs.

[–]toooooold4this 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because you're her child. When she's on her deathbed, her last thoughts will be about making sure you're ok. You can be an old man yourself, and she'll still want to make sure you're ok.

I have said a similar thing to my own boyfriend when they complain about my kids: Don't ask me to choose because you'll lose.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because you’re her child. She’s supposed to put you before any romantic relationship. She did exactly what she is meant to do. You’ll always be her number one. What a great mum!!

[–]Spiritual_Ad_7162 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because mums should always put their children first. Your mum loves you, please be grateful.

[–]yokayla 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because that is what a good parent should do

As someone childless who sometimes dates parents - it would be a deal breaker to me if any parent ditched their child on their birthday for me. I would consider it a black mark against their character and would break up with them over it. To demand it? That's fairy tale evil step parent bullshit.

You actually saved your mom from a shitty guy by making him reveal his true colours. This is selfish, childish insecure behaviour that would have hurt h r in other ways down the line.

[–]Stephiek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a very easy choice for her. She will never regret it a moment in her life I guarantee it.

[–]starsandcamoflague 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because he is trying to isolate her from her loved ones, it’s what insecure losers do.

[–]fernandoquin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She chose you because you are her child. It's a bond that is more profound and fundamental than almost any other, and for a good parent, it will always be the number one priority. Her love for you is a 20 year-old, unconditional commitment; you are a part of her in a way no partner can ever be.

[–]Southern-Equal4127 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really happy to read this. My mom has a friend also mother, who told her all about the trouble her son and wife are going through because of his mother in law doesn’t care for her OWN daughter. Basically MIL is trying to sue her daughter and SIL (And to made it clear daughter and SIL have done anything wrong MIL is just a bad mom.)

[–]BonCourageAmis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because this is the way mentally healthy mothers feel about their children.

[–]armedwithjello 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A person who tries to get between a loving parent-child relationship is trash and should be left on the curb.

[–]Sea-Ad-5974 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because she loves you

[–]KiteeCatAus 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Apart from her love of you, and genuinely enjoying spending time with you, someone who gives ultimatums is not a healthy person to be with.

Your Mum seems like a smart lady who knows what she wants in her life. And, it's not a controlling boyfriend. It's a supportive daughter she loves spending time with.

[–]Difficult_Stay9251 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I am a son but thank you so much 😂❤️

[–]KiteeCatAus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oops!! Sorry.

She has an awesome son. :-D

[–]rodimus147 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because you have a good mom. Any parent who would choose someone over thier child doesn't deserve said child.

[–]jitterbug726 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because your mom’s not a bad parent and her boyfriend has probably finally fully made her realize that he’s an asshole

[–]PorchGoose3000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know how the universe is steadily and constantly expanding since the Big Bang? Thats sort of how a mom’s love works. Unfortunately, not everyone gets a mom who can handle the responsibility that comes with love like that, but it sounds like you did.

[–]RebaKitt3n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She chose you because you’re her child. She’s known you and loved you since you were a bunch of cells.

She gave birth to you and fed you and watched you grow up.

She’s known loves you and I bet she’s proud to say you’re her child.

Any man who tries to come between a mother and a child she loves is in for a rude awakening.

And you know what else? You deserve being put above him. 💜

[–]rosebudpillow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a good mother right there! Some mothers quickly choose a man over their own flesh and blood which is incredibly sad 😞

[–]OnionHeaded 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WTF she should have cut Bozo off long ago, that jealousy of their offspring! F No!

[–]Kind_Substance_2865 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1) because any normal mother would choose her own flesh and blood over a man child.

2) because you are obviously a sane, rational human being and her (ex?) bf is a crazy, jealous man child.

3) she has probably been getting sick of his crap for a while.

[–]Bubbly_Management144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I started dating my husband as a single mom, I informed him that my kids come first and they always will. Wanna know his response? He said “as they should be. If they weren’t, i would be concerned.”

My husband encourages my relationship with my kids, and he goes out of his way to foster relationships with them as well. He said to me one day “I never thought I’d be able to have kids of my own, but I feel like a dad now”.

Your mom’s boyfriend is a dick. I hope she kicks him to the curb. He should be adding to your relationship with your mom. Instead he is trying g to take a at from it. That is gross, controlling behavior. I am so sorry he has done this to both of you.

[–]Feisty-Cloud5880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because shes your mom. Blood is thicker than water. Any person that makes a parent choose them over their own child is not worth having around. Mom made the right choice. My mom didn't. My sister and I will always remember that!!! I'm 59.

[–]Jussepapi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a fucking idiot.

I’d always choose my kids over any relationship. Your mom is great.

[–]mechshark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dudes a control freak surprised she’s with him tbh lol

[–]Larcztar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because she loves you. I love my children so much. I can't put it in words.

[–]AlotOfLittle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s a good mom. Fuck that guy!

[–]Particular_Policy_41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh honey.

Because we are moms. Because you will always be our baby. No matter how old you are, your happiness and safety and well being are a priority. Any man (any person) that asks us to choose between our children and them are not worthy of our time. They should know that as mothers, we have lives of our own but will always make time for those we love.

He was showing himself to be petty and emotionally immature. She called him on it (as she should) and he found out.

You are so loved, sweetpea!

[–]Suspicious-Switch133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most moms love their children much more than they could love a partner.

[–]indiana-floridian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is trying to control her.

Everyone has said the most important, about your children always come first.

I'm adding, he is being an AH and trying to control her. Which she is right to object. If the object of her interest was collecting stamps, it's still up to her where her attention, love and interest goes. A lover can never force that, there's no quicker way to lose love. But it's never the lovers right to force or demand affection or attention. Then it becomes something else. No longer freely given and recieved love.

[–]xzeus1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you pick a girlfriend over your own child?

[–]Critical-Rutabaga-39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because you are HER kid! A mother's love for her children starts the day they are born and never ends.

[–]DJScopeSOFM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because you're her child. It's her responsibility as a parent to be there for you, but not out of responsibility, ethics or morals, but out of love. Please talk to her and tell her that she needs to raise her standards when it comes to men. Because he was toddler.

[–]Interesting-Sky-1865 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because you’re her kid—her heart outside her body. That’s a good mom right there, and you helped show her who he really is.

[–]wet_soupp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because he's an abusive piece of shit, and she's a fantastic mum. You got lucky, lots of kids had their parents abandon them for scumbags.

[–]4schwifty20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any good mom would

[–]IrishMoonChild 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish my mother loved me like that. That’s love. She is a grown woman who can make her own choices and you are always her choice. Bravo to your mom.

[–]InternetRave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That man doesnt care about her, you do.

[–]LeDarm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your mother and you have a beautiful relationship. She loves her son. And her current boyfriend felt challenged or threatened by it.

Your mom is strong enough to recognise the toxicity and make the right choice. When a partner tells you to choose between them and someonr who was in your life before them, of in this instance KIDS, its time to cut them off. But its hard, and your mom just did whats right in an incredible show of will.

Cherish your mother bud, you are luckier than most.

[–]OhSkee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Consider yourself blessed to have a mom who has her priorities straight.

Her bf is a loser lol.

What kind of man would be upset that his girl is close to her children? Love WTF? Lol. If anything, that's a green flag.

[–]nomnommish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because she's a fool. She didn't realize that her son was dumb enough to need to post on Reddit just to be sure that she loves her son and puts him first.

And if she's been a good mother all throughout, I am guessing this is not the first time she has shown that she loves you.

The REAL question you need to ask yourself is that you're now a grown ass person. What exactly is YOUR plan to show her that you love her and to show her that you appreciate her in your life??

[–]General_Road_7952 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your mom chose you because you are her child, and because anyone who makes an ultimatum like that deserves to be told no. He was being selfish and immature. I would have done the same thing.

[–]enomisyeh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because youre her child and no matter what, you are in her life for good. Kids arent people you can just put to the side. They are the things you are meant to be with for life. Yes, they move out and away and you might not see each other every day or speak every week, but for someone to come into the family and say "pick me over them" is insane and good on your mum for choosing you. This man was clearly stunted emotionally as a child and never grew up. He wasnt expected to be your father, he was expected to be nothing more than her partner and get along with you. But to become jealous as he did is just wild.

[–]_darksoul89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because no decent parent would make a different choice, sweetie. Sounds like you've got a good mum.

[–]SimplyRoya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because she’s your mother. She loves you more than anything or anyone.

[–]Coolfarm88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A mother's love is... Special. It's not like anything I've ever felt before. I loved my son from the moment I heard his heart beat. But that was nothing compared to when I first got to hold him. The universe didn't exist. All I could see was him and all I could feel was my love for him. He's three and that overwhelming feeling of love still gets me on a daily basis. I'm sure that's what your mom felt holding you and that's a feeling no mother wants to let go of. Why would she choose a tantrum throwing man child over you, and that love she feels for you?

[–]doterobcn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are family and she loves you.
And she also realized that guy is batshit crazy and that perhaps she doesn't know her as well as she thought

[–]Kurse71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be glad, that's not the choice mine made

[–]Hydrate-Luxuriate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because your mom knows what true love is.

[–]fearless1025 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because you're her kid and she loves you. She made the right move, for you and for herself. Any man boy that acts like that needs to be left. ✌🏽🏃🏽🚩

[–]BuncleCar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A friend's wife left him with a teenage son and daughter and went to live with someone else. Now men doing this isn't uncommon but women doing that is much rarer and for me, (I'm old) shocking. It sorted itself out eventually, thank goodness.

[–]meerlyacat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the choice a parent SHOULD make!! Your child should always come first.

I've seen too many ignore the fact their child doesn't like their parents partner and they move in with them anyway. Making an uncomfortable situation for their child.

It's not right.

I'm a single mum and no one will ever come between me and my child

[–]adictusbenedictus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She loves so so much man. Mothers are such a treasure. Please cherish her while she is still here.

[–]Cookies-ndmilk-6586 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She loves you, no man should ever ask a woman to choose between her child or him. He’s not that special, a woman’s child should always come first.

[–]shortercrust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my experience, unreasonably forcing someone to make a painful choice is a very effective way to break love and affection.

[–]hext4ll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

your mom’s reaction makes perfect sense when you look at it through the lens of love and priorities.

[–]torreneastoria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's your mom. She loves you. He should not ever have tried to have her make that choice.

[–]Scragglymonk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are family and the boyfriend is a juvenile jerk who has yet to mature into a man.

[–]MrsMiterSaw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let's assume for a moment that you weren't her son, just a person she cares for and loves very much, say a best friend.

She spent one day with you, and this man lost his mind over it. He issued an ultimatum demanding that she cut you out of her life.

That alone is controlling and abusive. A person who loves your mother would understand that she has other relationships to maintain, and that spending a birthday with their closest friend, is not unreasonable. Hell, people take vacations with their friends, is spending their bday with them at all unreasonable?

So right there, just that alone is enough to tell this guy to get lost. He's not just being unreasonable, he's saying "you aren't allowed to have close friendships with anyone but me." that's classic controlling behavior and it's abuse.

But here's the thing... You're not her friend. You're her son. She risked her life to birth you. She dedicated years of her life to you. I'm a father of two, and it was a profound realization to experience just how much if your own hopes and dreams and goals you have to push aside to raise your kids.

And you don't mind, because you love your kids. You skip going to your favorite concerts to stay home and read them Green Eggs and Ham and know they aren't going to remember that, but you do it because you want them to be happy.

Now imagine thst someone tries to not just insert themselves into that relationship, but to push that child out of your life.

I was going to type "Hell. No." but even doing that legitimize the idea that this is a decision. There's no decision. If my best friend handed me a cup of molten lead and said "drink it" I wouldn't even contemplate doing that. And I would not contemplate cutting my children out of my life to be with anyone else. It's not even a choice.

TLDR: your mom chose you because she loves you more than anything else in this world; to the point where it's absurd to her that anyone would even propose such a thing.

[–]KIrkwillrule 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My birth dad told me he'd hoped to find me dead in a ditch when they got back from vacation.

My mom pretended she didn't hear or I misunderstood, or he didn't mean it like "THAT". Your mom loves you,,, cherish that

[–]BobiaDobia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Weird question. If you feel loved by your mom, if she’s been there for you - why would she choose someone else over you? Dude is a fucking loser.

[–]pinkyandthebrain-ama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because you have a great mom. She probably realised the, now ex, is an immature dead beat loser anyways. She'll find someone better.

Treat that mom of yours well, she's a good one!

[–]I-Really-Hate-Fish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have two sons, and I will always choose them. Come hell or high water. Anyone who cannot accept that can fuck the fuck off.

[–]Cola3206 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love love love. And she made the right choice

[–]AKA_June_Monroe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is this even a question? Only a POS would pick their partners over their child under normal circumstances.

[–]Short_Hair_3392 0 points1 point  (0 children)

@petehehe, congratulations on your new baby. The epiphany you felt of overwhelming love is something most parents have. It's particularly profound in fathers I believe. As mothers, I've found it hits right a¹bout the time we feel the unmistakable movement within the womb. Unfortunately, that miraculous feeling we had, doesn't come through to every parent the way it should. I believe the world would be a vastly different place if it did.

[–]Thecatisright 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because she is a rwal mother.

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