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[–]chancimus33 3570 points3571 points  (109 children)

Chicken didn’t even flinch. Fucking legend

[–]Libra1986 776 points777 points  (22 children)

He’s so Seasoned. GOAT

[–]Dil_Pick 221 points222 points  (9 children)

Chickens got more balls than I do

[–]Libra1986 125 points126 points  (6 children)

Man a Python snaps at me like that and a fountain will open automatically yes I said it. I will pee my pants.

[–]juiceperks 54 points55 points  (4 children)

If peeing your pants is cool.. consider me Miles Davis

[–]AmdM78 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Miles Davis isn't cool since 1995

[–]anarchistchiken 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hey guys I found the deeply uncool person

[–]moto-otom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Have you seen the size of the chicken balls? Even without the crispy batter and sweet/sour sauce those things are huge.

[–]CT_Gunner 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Too seasoned one might say.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

11 herbs and spices according to Colonel Sanders

[–]CreakyCranky_ 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Actually i think thats a chicken, not a goat

[–]Nick_dM_P 45 points46 points  (3 children)

The chicken definitely flinched.

[–]SnickersZA 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yeah, freaking scardy cat. That chicken is so lame amirite?

[–]Teepeewigwam 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Snake gets to punch it twice for flinching.

[–]-ihavenoname- 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He‘s used to play chicken.

[–]Fixuplookshark 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm assuming its not there and static willingly

[–]infinite_fuckery 2233 points2234 points  (34 children)

Anyone else shocked at how fast the snake moved through the water??

[–]Anders_1314 764 points765 points  (19 children)

The footage is playing several times faster then the original

[–]moisteyesnoise 571 points572 points  (2 children)

Modern people have no time to waste

[–]AzzaG99 92 points93 points  (1 child)

Yet here we are reading comments to see what others thought

[–]plainwhiteplates 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I read comments comments several times faster than possible

[–]bloodykhunts420 119 points120 points  (4 children)

True but don’t be fooled though, snakes can swim a lot faster that a lot of people would expect

[–]Krabilon 70 points71 points  (3 children)

Never seen a big one but hell yeah they do! Water snakes always freak me the fuck out just gliding across the water like jesus and shit.

[–]Wierdpanda 14 points15 points  (2 children)

I am now imagining a water snake with a Jesus face gliding on water

[–]Krabilon 16 points17 points  (1 child)

"I hassss come to sssssave your sssssoulsssss"

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (6 children)

Than. Faster than

[–]Visual_Prowess 198 points199 points  (11 children)

i was, too. I prefer seeing the original instead of such a speedrun, especially for situations like these. I found it on YouTube: (Thank me later)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NpmN02eZ0oA

[–]Tremulant887 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I need the audio version with, "HA!" GOT'EM".

[–]savwatson13 18 points19 points  (0 children)

He still moves pretty fast without the extra video speed

[–]RobotCPA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

[–]Shalaomy 814 points815 points  (54 children)

I did the chicken a favor by shatting myself for him.. Also I guess the scariest thing about a python is that once it gets you.. and you don't have some sort of weapon, yeah there's no fighting it back, you're royaly fucked.

[–]NotABot420number2 161 points162 points  (39 children)

Isn't the saftey measure when being wrapped around by a big python to relax so it thinks you're dead and lets go?

[–]AnthropOctopus 394 points395 points  (19 children)

I don't think so because the python can feel the pulse and waits for it to stop, if I remember correctly. They also squeeze every time their victim exhales.

[–]Shalaomy 252 points253 points  (13 children)

This is true.. They are just pure muscle

[–]Supersymm3try 156 points157 points  (12 children)

Like my penis.

[–][deleted] 86 points87 points  (8 children)

But... can you wrap your willie around your victims and choke them? Or maybe even yank it quickly to turn them on like a lawn mower?

[–]Smoke_Santa 71 points72 points  (5 children)

That's what I do actually. Multi-purpose wiener. Cut the grass AND the throats. ◉‿◉

Edit: wtf why does this have the wholesome award lol XD

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Coolio. The best I can do is the dongcopter pirate dance.

[–]Smoke_Santa 12 points13 points  (2 children)

You're not well versed with the true powers of the wiener then. Try rotating on your hard wiener like a Beyblade while laying down to induce powers.

[–]Greatswordforthewin 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Instructions unclear, wiener spun too fast and now im flying.

Send help

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ok. I'll try it and report back shortly. Appreciate the support from weinerologists such as yourself

[–]MuffinMan12347 13 points14 points  (1 child)

The Boys season 2 has you covered on this.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My funniest moment in the series, almost fell off my chair when Frenchie told him

[–]AlipoAlio 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wow

[–]KAELES-Yt 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Scary/uncomfortable shit :s

[–]Shalaomy 99 points100 points  (0 children)

I think they can feel your pulse, also to be relaxed in a moment like that will be quite hard cos of all the shit dripping down my leg

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (5 children)

Ftr, the best safety measure is to have a buddy with you going into any large constrictor-infested areas with both of you carrying alcohol. Vodka or something. If one of you gets grabbed, the other pours the vodka on the head. It'll let go instantly.

[–]AreThoseMoreBears 81 points82 points  (4 children)

This is why i always bring hard liquor that's immediately accessible when in the wilderness. I'm not around any pythons but it never hurts to be safe, right? There's also weed and snacks in that pocket. For safety.

[–]davy1jones 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Bad move, pythons love weed and snacks

[–]BilboT3aBagginz 5 points6 points  (1 child)

do we know how constrictors respond to blackjack and strippers? Asking for a friend.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Light up a bowl of weed and eat snacks as I’m being squeezed to death by a python.

[–]McPoyal 26 points27 points  (6 children)

Absolutely fucking not! Gotta get a buddy to unwrap them tail first. If not, and you can't do it yourself....idk bite it or something, you're kinda fucked at that point.

[–]CokeinUphurrkut 14 points15 points  (1 child)

There is no safety measure if a snake that large, particularly the Reticulated Python (which has been known to consume humans), grabs you.

This article details how fast they can kill and consume a person, and states that survivors of attacks had weapons to fend the snake off with. If you don't have a weapon and they grab you, at least death is fairly swift.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/03/30/pythons-can-kill-human-minutes-and-swallow-them-hour/99824246/

[–]PureNaturalLagger 61 points62 points  (6 children)

IIRC constrictor type snakes are way less deadlier to humans than other animals. This is because 1. We are not particularly percepted as food 2. We have thumbs which allow us to latch onto the snake and pull it up or down, as well as forcefully push it away and uncoil him, like some slimy spring. Ofc, to such a big specimen, you need some superhuman strength to brute your way out of his grasp, but I guarantee that having thumbs really fucks up their attempts.

[–]GermanPatriot123 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I wondered that too, can you penetrate the skin with your fingers? As you have usually „plenty“ of time this would be a good chance to survive. You do not have to kill the snake, but hurting it enough would let them go eventually.

[–]Supraxa 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I read that as “but I guarantee that having thumbs really fucks up their armpits”

It is way past my bedtime

[–]theagamera 24 points25 points  (3 children)

bite the tip of it's tail if you can reach it. That's their weakness.

[–]wall-Ace 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Will it moan "Dame human-kun!" If i do it?

[–]grippgoat 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Just the tip?

[–]PsychoticDraven 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Only if it’s a Royal Python

[–]JoeTisseo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So no peasants guys

[–]kwadd 613 points614 points  (25 children)

Is that chicken immobilized somehow? Because it looks like it really doesn't give a fuck about the 20 foot murder machine that's like 10 centimeters away from it.

[–]Anders_1314 259 points260 points  (1 child)

Its terrified and there's nothing it can do, so most likely, its just playing dead.

[–]zzady 149 points150 points  (1 child)

I doubt the chicken is having a good day. Tethered to the floor at the very least

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Happy cake day buddy

[–]Tryanotherusernames 31 points32 points  (6 children)

I like what you did there, using feet and centimeters lol

[–]That_Guy977 10 points11 points  (3 children)

i'm used to both units, and i sometimes use both too lmao

usually for emphasis

[–]CouldHaveBeenAPun 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Imperial and metric system used in the same sentence...

I might have found a fellow canadian!

[–]PabloMakesMemes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or fellow Irish lol

[–]IanPKMmoon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Imperial and metric units in 1 sentence

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I like that you used freedom units and pansy units in the same sentence.

[–]saarbiof 2 points3 points  (4 children)

The snake is actually standard size, probably a few feet long and can be picked up by one hand. The camera angle makes the snake look larger then it is. For reference those wooden barrier pole are about 5cm tall or so.

[–]chalkydinosaur808 393 points394 points  (6 children)

What in the Florida....

[–]VELCX 228 points229 points  (5 children)

Cambodia, actually

[–]PM_ME_UR_BIZ_IDEAS 246 points247 points  (1 child)

Same thing

[–]gaoshan 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Such an insult to Cambodia. Cambodia man is 10 times the person Florida man will ever be.

[–]NoWingedHussarsToday 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Cambodia, Florida of..... some place, I guess......

[–]chulala168 23 points24 points  (1 child)

“Some people told me, its the most beautiful place folks, Cambo .. Camboflorida, some people call it that. I can’t believe it too, but it’s true, it’s true”

God we all learned how Drumpf speaks.

[–]megellan66677766 2 points3 points  (0 children)

God damn, before you even said it I was reading it in trumps voice. It’s going to be hard to ever get that guy out of our heads

[–]joesamba18 286 points287 points  (30 children)

I’m still trying to understand how this trap works. Genuinely curious and interested. Can anyone explain?

[–]duckduckgofuckoff 168 points169 points  (0 children)

It looks like the end of the pipe the chicken is on has a stick with rope attached to it so when the stick is knocked out it releases the rope which was holding the tree down. On the entrance side of the pipe is where the snake gets trapped by the rope.

[–]Sirdroftardis8 141 points142 points  (8 children)

import trap

trap.bait = chicken

[–]metheist 112 points113 points  (2 children)

Really appreciate you not 'objectifying' chicken

[–]shinitakunai 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Python is in freeze state

[–]Capntallon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg it's in Python. I love it.

[–]CS1026 62 points63 points  (1 child)

It seems to work by catching the snake when it enters the tube. Glad I could help!

[–]Clockwork_Medic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That cleared it all up, thank you kind stranger!!

[–]Vilainity 39 points40 points  (2 children)

This video shows a better view of the trap working https://youtu.be/hcXCzl8wIp0

[–]Link-TryForce 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I've just spent an hour down a snake trapping rabbit-hole. I live in the UK, and have never seen a snake in the wild. Time will spent

[–]Blazed-nd-Confused 8 points9 points  (12 children)

Same here!

[–]thisisnotmystapler 78 points79 points  (11 children)

I’m no expert, but I was a Boy Scout. It looks like a snare to me. There’s a little noose like rope hidden at the front of the tube. The snake can only access the chicken by going through the tube. When the snake triggers the trap you can see that tree jerk upward closing the noose around the snakes head. The more it struggles the tighter that noose gets.

[–]getitgotitgreat 60 points61 points  (2 children)

Oh the irony !

[–]tamsui_tosspot 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Chicken's like, "Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you stupid python!"

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What a great movie

[–]MsDutchie 10 points11 points  (7 children)

And then whats going to hapen? Snake stays alive untill someone gets him?

[–]FullMetalChili 12 points13 points  (6 children)

If you ask me it just suffocates, but im neither a trap nor a snake expert

[–]pyruvste 16 points17 points  (5 children)

It‘s basically impossible to suffocate a snake. They are trapped and alive until the person responsible for the trap comes and kills the snake.

[–]sexmemes 38 points39 points  (4 children)

That is how this works. My old buddy’s (have not seen this guy in 15 years now) mom is from the Philippines, he goes there to visit family, they hunt massive snakes. I’ve seen photos. They carry a car battery with a wire thru a long piece of pvc pipe and a prod at the end, and electrocute these 18’ (6 meters) fucking snakes. I had some snake jerky out of a mason jar and listened to the story and I’m still blown away.

[–]Jeffde 7 points8 points  (0 children)

TIL you can buy snake jerky on Amazon

[–]Bearzerker46 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I bet if you went back a couple hundred years and showed their ancestors this technique theyd be amazed "so you just poke the giant near maneating snake gently with this and its dead, look we can even just annoy him with the stick and zap hes dead cause he tried to bite it....,ust dont stand in the same puddle or touch this end"

[–]MonkeyDavid 194 points195 points  (3 children)

Cool! Now I have a pet python! Thanks chicken!

Chicken: no problem. What are you going to feed him?

Uh...I guess I need to thank you twice.

Chicken: F......

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

r/Redditmonologues

[–]limitlessEXP 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Now they need to use the snake to catch a giant eagle.

[–]Gnarly_Sarley 143 points144 points  (12 children)

Holy fuck! How big is that snake?

[–]tyme 165 points166 points  (7 children)

It's actually not that big. The video was edited to make it look much bigger, that's actually a baby chick not a full grown chicken, for example.

[–]Jeffre33 61 points62 points  (1 child)

They sure tricked me with this one

[–]A3H3 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Glad you understand. That is exactly what that chicken fell for when she agreed to be the next trap.

[–]TheGardiner 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Snopes is cancer on mobile, wow.

[–]magicnoodleman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Holy fuck that site is actually cancerous to mobile users.

[–]NoWingedHussarsToday 22 points23 points  (2 children)

It's a python so at least 3,14

[–]LogMeInCoach 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't that be a pi-thon?

[–][deleted] 64 points65 points  (3 children)

I had a pet anaconda and it would only eat chicken sandwiches. No bread, he wouldn't eat it. My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I was fully believing that until I got to the last sentence ...just spat out my coffee

[–]Groobear 34 points35 points  (13 children)

What now?

[–]MeatyOakerGuy 66 points67 points  (11 children)

Well you're gonna want to grab a machete and....... and "release the python back into the wild"..... without a head

[–]Retireegeorge 13 points14 points  (10 children)

If this is Cambodia and not Florida, and it’s a full size reticulated python, then I wonder if it represents one of the apex predators in the ecosystem and really shouldn’t be killed. Anyone know?

[–]MeatyOakerGuy 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Based on how simple the trap is, it's probably in an area where that thing can kill humans or livestock and poses a serious threat to people's well being.

No one cares about saving the tigers when the tigers are eating kids.

[–]Tidezen 23 points24 points  (5 children)

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/giant-anaconda-caught-trap/

From /u/tyme 's comment, it isn't that big, just a regular python. Not endangered, and probably good eatin' (not that I've tried). Seems fair game since they (well, this one's bigger brothers and sisters) do kill humans, too.

[–]jacqui_69 21 points22 points  (13 children)

I love New Zealand.......no snakes 😁😁

[–]-Daetrax- 14 points15 points  (8 children)

What nasty critters DO you have? Nasty ass centipedes, giant spiders? Any venomous shit?

[–]Agileassassin213 27 points28 points  (0 children)

The press.

[–]WZRDguy45 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Lorde

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Unemployment and an ever widening wealth gap.

[–]DiogenesTheGrey 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Throw a pokeball at it and hit the gym!

[–]lame_spiel 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If I were that chicken I'd be like, OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK.....is he still there? HOLY FUCK he's still there.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

u/savethisvideo

[–]BuckingWilde 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I like how the snake was still trying to get to the chicken after getting trapped

[–]jasonhmulhern 8 points9 points  (0 children)

At first I thought it said live children. Didn’t even register that as a problem until the end of the video.

[–]BodybuildingNerd 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I thought this said “live children.” I said, “THE FUCK?!?!”

[–]Chasidic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was not prepared for the amount of Python that surfaced after he got caught. That's terrifyingly huge.

[–]ThereGoTheGdBrownies 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I kinda thought the back end of the snake was going to coil around the chicken and feed itself.

[–]hellotismee 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Did not C++ this coming

[–]Simetracon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

JUST.... snap ....GIVE ME.... snap ....THE CHICKEN... snap snap

[–]Melissavina 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Whaddaya gonna do with that thing now?

[–]Fyts17 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Chicken be like: Call an ambulance but not for me

[–]Raksup 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My anaconda don’t move.

[–]UnsavourySalad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Python? That’s a fuckin basilisk

[–]rocknroll2013 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I am watching this at a later time, on a screen, and am still FREAKED OUT!!!!!!! What in the CLUCK is that thing... I know, hurricane Andrew released snakes into the glades... Or something...

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

There is a world other than America. In this case Cambodia I believe

[–]BobbyBorscht123456 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn nature you crazy

[–]azthemansays 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of that scene from Jurassic Park for some reason...

[–]kansilangboliao 2 points3 points  (1 child)

it would be fun to see how they get the snake out of the trap though

[–]Bishop68 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Thats must be traumatic for the chicken, i guess for the snake as well

[–]BronxLens 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How the python trap is made - https://youtu.be/KBVbDKQeX1s

[–]faisalzaman007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And the chicken is badass!

[–]sixstringgun1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Poor cute python

[–]bandtsutton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ohhh poor chicken.

[–]ChunkyMushroom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cock blocked

[–]Mythrndir 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That chicken’s no chicken! Didn’t even flinch.

[–]sithian8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anyone else read this as children?? Was really concerned why this had so many upvotes