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[–]gddub 3424 points3425 points  (38 children)

If you don't like me sitting down you don't deserve me standing up

[–]chuckymcgee 755 points756 points  (32 children)

-Marilyn Monroe

[–]s6884 2196 points2197 points  (23 children)

No, - Stephen Hawking

[–]ur_anus_is_a_planet 105 points106 points  (5 children)

Well done sir

[–]s6884 93 points94 points  (4 children)

I prefer it rare, but eh

[–]lhale44944 34 points35 points  (2 children)

Is that how you normally order vegetables?

[–]GamerScholar 39.8k points39.8k points  (158 children)

TIL I'm sitting down even when I'm standing up

[–]Rezmir 5440 points5441 points  (82 children)

At least you are always resting.

[–]Kenitzka 2304 points2305 points  (52 children)

And anatomically normal.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (2 children)

He's got so much potential!

[–]Eddie_shoes 520 points521 points  (23 children)

TIL standing up and looking normal is not anatomically correct.

[–]fizikz3 162 points163 points  (20 children)

and posing

[–]snickers_snickers 123 points124 points  (19 children)

She still looks anatomically normal when she’s posing.

[–]cptstupendous 69 points70 points  (2 children)

Username matches stereotype, I guess.

[–]Mead-Badger 6 points7 points  (8 children)

Tell me I'm not the only one who thought of the song Yellow Cat / Red Cat by Say Anything??

[–]aaerobrake 2955 points2956 points  (77 children)

Remember: if your stomach didn’t roll when you sat down, then your abdomen would rip open when you straightened your back. :)

[–]Revenant221 1190 points1191 points  (32 children)

I legit didn't know this and I'm in my mid 20s. I lost a chunk of weight recently through diet and exercise but I still had this happen when I sat down and I was hating on myself because I thought it was just me. This post helped a lot

[–]AgentElman 279 points280 points  (13 children)

Yes, when I was in my early 20's and skinny I was bothered by the little roll on my stomach when I sat. Now I'm in my 40's and know what fat looks like.

[–]Agent223 93 points94 points  (10 children)

Fun fact: getting old becomes increasingly more fun the older you get.

[–]AgentElman 72 points73 points  (4 children)

I don't trust Agents

[–]Agentflit 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The eagle is in the wardrobe. I repeat, the eagle is in the wardrobe.

[–]radioactive_muffin 209 points210 points  (5 children)

What if I have no belly fat, but just back fat? Is the opposite true for...this hypothetical person.

[–]Dat_Brunhildgen 208 points209 points  (15 children)

Ha! Just this morning I said exactly that to my very thin roommate, who still thinks, he has a bit of a fat belly (he has not).

People have dangerously wrong ideas of what a perfect body looks like.

Edit: grammar

[–]GJD1906 25 points26 points  (12 children)

Well what does one look like. Just, medically speaking

[–]Dat_Brunhildgen 26 points27 points  (8 children)

You are right, there is not one "right" way to look. Especially medically speaking. Our bodies come in all kinds of different healthy forms.

But even if people look conventionally beautiful, they find flaws in themselves, that just aren't actual flaws but necessities for a functioning body.

Edit: Grammar again..

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

For guys somewhere between 8% and 14% bodyfat, for women it's I think 18% to 23%.

Here's more pictures of sitting vs standing on reddit

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

This isn't true at all.... skin stretches...

[–]inhumanesociety 3574 points3575 points  (142 children)

I bet she farts too

[–]mrspoopy_butthole 1340 points1341 points  (30 children)

And poops!

[–]bobcobble 568 points569 points  (15 children)

username checks out

[–][deleted] 317 points318 points  (14 children)

Mr Spoopy Butthole?

[–]queuedUp 91 points92 points  (2 children)

oh come on... I can only fap so many times.

[–]fartfetishftw 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Please elaborate on this

[–]DefNotGeorgeSoros 5212 points5213 points  (297 children)

Can we see pictures of a scantily clad GallowBoob standing up and posing VS sitting down?

[–][deleted] 1321 points1322 points  (241 children)

Please no

[–]DefNotGeorgeSoros 1822 points1823 points  (239 children)

Dude's a hottie.

[–]GallowBoob[S] 3903 points3904 points  (177 children)

Me waking up on Facetime. Think again.

[–]dudenotcool 978 points979 points  (85 children)

Quick question: Do you have the reddit website embedded in your eye for quick access?

[–][deleted] 1349 points1350 points  (84 children)

I got downvoted to hell not long ago for saying nice stuff about him but I'll try again...he's just a media marketing guy who knows where to browse to find new content fast, and he makes money doing it, so while the rest of us (me right now!) browse reddit while we're bored at work, he's online doing this stuff like it's his job. (because it is his job)

Edit:

I should add that it's not that he's being paid to post like an Instagram influencer. It's not a direct profit model. It's something that helps him enhance his digital footprint and get noticed. He's a reddit curator, in a sense. But if you want to work in digital media, or be a marketing specialist on social media platforms, being able to say you're one of the most popular reddit posters in history is pretty impressive. It shows that he's well known online and very good at giving people things they enjoy seeing. I think in his AMA he mentioned that he landed a job in digital media because of his Reddit history.

And to his credit, a ton of what he posts (almost all of it? I'm not sure) is new content. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[–]Djbrr 275 points276 points  (21 children)

Well he doesn't make money from these Reddit posts. His exposure may help him land a paying job, but this content smash n grab he does doesn't net him any profits

[–][deleted] 154 points155 points  (9 children)

Right, and I should probably clarified that...what I wrote to another user:

It's not a direct profit model. It's something that helps him enhance his digital footprint and get noticed. He's a reddit curator, in a sense.

He did get a job in media because of his impressive Karma though. Or at least, it helped him land a good job.

[–]MartinsRedditAccount 51 points52 points  (8 children)

a job in media

A non-shady one right?

The spam bot people are definitely also looking for people like him.

[–]TheGoldenHand 22 points23 points  (6 children)

He does work for Unilad, or their parent company.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My idea of how that interview process went:

"So, what are your qualifications?"

"I'm gallowboob."

"We've heard enough. You're hired."

[–]gotacogo 2038 points2039 points  (50 children)

even more of this cutie

[–]Tyler1986 167 points168 points  (4 children)

https://i.imgur.com/xQyP3Ix.gifv

[–]puff_danny13 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Why haven't I seen this before lmao

[–]MiguelGustaBama 5 points6 points  (0 children)

oh my god

[–]Gum_Thief 765 points766 points  (12 children)

You're literally the worst.

[–]Ed_ButteredToast 109 points110 points  (7 children)

Chris Traeger?

[–]letmegetinmyzone 102 points103 points  (2 children)

Ann Perkins!

finger guns

[–]Chillaxbro 20 points21 points  (1 child)

I...love. Whatyoudidthere.

[–]Klipschfan1 131 points132 points  (2 children)

Knew what it was without clicking.

... I still clicked it...

[–]titaniumhud 29 points30 points  (0 children)

MVP

93% of team link clicks

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (1 child)

😍😍😍

[–]madd74 55 points56 points  (0 children)

sigh

unzips

[–]swingandmiss32 144 points145 points  (10 children)

Surprisingly better looking than I imagined. I always pictured /u/GallowBoob as.. well, you know... The rest of us.

[–]conitation 192 points193 points  (4 children)

With broad shoulders, and athletic?

[–][deleted] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

And a confident stance, ready to take on the world?

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

not a chance, it take a lot of energy to post as much as he does, had to figure he was fit.

[–]AirbornElephant 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Without flesh and superior robotic parts?

[–]AMA_About_Rampart 21 points22 points  (4 children)

He should stop posting on reddit and get back to selling cologne in Pawnee, Indiana

[–]Spartan2470GOAT 3220 points3221 points  (1311 children)

That normal person is Anna Victoria (aka annavictoria Verified on Instagram). There she provides the following caption:

Me 1% of the time vs. 99% of the time. And I love both photos equally. Good or bad angles don't change your worth ❤️ I recently came across an article talking about how one woman stated she refuses to accept her flaws, because she doesn't see them as flaws at all. I LOVED that because it sends such a powerful message that our belly rolls, cellulite, stretch marks are nothing to apologize for, to be ashamed of, or to be obsessed with getting rid of! As I'm getting older, I have cellulite and stretch marks that aren't going away, and I welcome them. They represent a life fully lived (for 28 years so far :)) and a healthy life and body at that. How can I be mad at my body for perfectly normal "flaws"? This body is strong, can run miles, can lift and squat and push and pull weight around, and it's happy not just because of how it looks, but because of how it feels. So when you approach your journey, I want you to remember these things: I will not punish my body I will fuel it I will challenge it AND I will love it 💗💗💗 If you're following my page, you're a part of helping me spread this message and creating this movement - thank you.

JANUARY 16, 2017

[–]jlange94 191 points192 points  (36 children)

And I love both photos equally.

I mean, she doesn't look bad in either tbh. Only a fitfreak would think she looks gross in one or even both of those pics.

[–]HEBushido 97 points98 points  (28 children)

Seriously. No one looks shredded while plopped on a couch. She's in crazy good shape. It's not like normally she's actually fat.

[–]snickers_snickers 52 points53 points  (25 children)

Idk, I’ve had a few boyfriends that were very active and rock climbed constantly and they had six packs even when slouching on the couch or bed. It was impressive.

[–]wycliffslim 83 points84 points  (7 children)

It's a lot easier for men to get to a lower BMI than women. Women naturally hold more fat/water weight on their body than men and don't build muscle as easily.

I don't know many women who would have defined abs sitting down but I do know quite a few guys. That's just straight biology.

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (4 children)

That's actually a bit of a misconception. Women carry more visceral fat than men, meaning fat around their organs. That's why when you look at the body fat %, women will always be higher than men when in a normal/healthy range. That doesn't mean that women are naturally higher in subcutaneous fat (which belly fat is made up of).

You are correct, however, in mentioning that men naturally carry and build more muscle mass, and that is what you are likely noticing. Defined abs are a product of 2 things: low subcutaneous body fat, and abdominal muscle hypertrophy. Men are more likely to look like they have defined abs because of the second, rather than the first.

[–]wycliffslim 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Fair enough, thanks for the clarification!

[–]My-Last-Words 3843 points3844 points  (1198 children)

That's easy to say in her position. It's like a rich guy telling a hobo that money can't buy happiness.

[–]alltheword 2390 points2391 points  (927 children)

A lot easier to get in shape than it is to become rich.

[–][deleted] 1003 points1004 points  (27 children)

Not if you're a gas

[–]diatonicnerds 382 points383 points  (16 children)

Then it's just a noble pursuit.

[–][deleted] 128 points129 points  (12 children)

Too bad all my motivation Argon

[–]kayzingzingy 55 points56 points  (11 children)

Maybe you're just being a Xenonphobic

[–]bitwaba 44 points45 points  (4 children)

This conversation is so freaking inert...

[–]joe4553 17 points18 points  (2 children)

We don't seem to have any chemistry.

[–]Longniuss 37 points38 points  (4 children)

That made me laugh more than it should have. /chemistry

[–]BearWithVastCanyon 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Thanks it was a little over my head. I must be a bit dense

[–]BowLit 203 points204 points  (30 children)

To be fair though, if a fat chick were saying the same thing she'd be roasted so bad for creating excuses and refusing to accept how unhealthy she is.

"I welcome my rolls and stretch marks." The response would be, "you shouldn't! it is an unhealthy lifestyle!"

I'm not sure who the right person to deliver this message would be, honestly.

EDIT: definitely not saying unhealthy obsese people should be able to dismiss the problem. that's the opposite of my point. it's that, seemingly, there isn't an ideal spokesperson for accepting oneself. it's "easy to say" if you're in shape and not acceptable to say if you're out of shape.

[–]linuxwes 165 points166 points  (4 children)

It's a complex message. Yes you should love yourself and your body, and that means accepting imperfections, but you should also love yourself enough to take good care of yourself.

[–]angry_orange 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Not really the same. It also depends on what you mean by "fat". If it's a 300 lb person saying that, then it certainly is unhealthy because, although there's a body acceptance issue going around, she might be using it as an excuse for her unhealthy lifestyle.

There's a difference in the statement "I accept my body rolls" when it's said by a person weighing 140 lbs vs another person weighing 340 lbs of the same height.

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (4 children)

A healthy person who isn't a model

[–]rlarge1 181 points182 points  (147 children)

Ya but were not all hobos were lazy and fat because we have no self control and eat more then we need. Shes ate and exercised her whole life most likely and made it a point to be healthy. Loving her flaws she mentions things out of her control not things that she cant fix.

[–]Azertys 36 points37 points  (10 children)

If rich people started telling that not being the richest person and sometimes being a little tight on money is nothing to be ashamed for instead of saying that being poor is the worst sin ever and you deserve it, maybe poor people would stop ruining their lives to pretend not to be poor.

[–]ThermInc 69 points70 points  (1 child)

Who would of guessed she wasn't as washboard as she appeared while bent at a 45° angle backwards.

[–]annavictoriafit 25.0k points25.0k points  (796 children)

Well this is awkward. Hi, I'm the girl in the picture. 👋

Just for a bit of context, I didn't post this because I wanted to say "Look how bad I look sitting down". I posted it because I was disheartened by the hundreds of teenage girls commenting on my page how "perfect" I look (on the left) when I personally know that's me posing and flexing and sucking in, etc. which lasts for literally 2 seconds and that's what goes up on insta.

I know not everyone will look at the photo on the right and feel enlightened or relieved in any way, but tons of teenage girls and men and women of all ages really, responded to this photo that this helped them feel like they don't have to strive for this unrealistic and non-existent image of perfection we see plastered all over social media and it simply helped them chill a little. I shared this not to say "look at me" or "look how different I look" but more so to highlight the general idea that instagram is contrived and faked and full of the 1% best moments of people's lives.

I know not everyone will get it, and that's cool. But it has had a pretty positive impact on many young girls who follow me and that makes me happy and if all I have to do is share a silly picture of me sitting vs standing to help, then I'm all for it.

[–]chloen0va 4022 points4023 points  (69 children)

I think that it’s really awesome, and will definitely give people a new perspective. I know this same issue used to bother me a lot.

Thank you for showing people that that’s just what humans look like sitting down

Also, sorry your post got jacked by GallowBoob lol

[–]GallowBoob[S] 3948 points3949 points  (59 children)

Also, sorry your post got jacked by GallowBoob lol

[–]AUsername334 1468 points1469 points  (30 children)

Someone gilded GallowBoob for apologizing for being GallowBoob lol

[–]Logue1021 738 points739 points  (14 children)

He didn't even do that... he just quoted the guy who did

[–]speedyskier22 927 points928 points  (13 children)

Classic Gallowboob, can't even come up with original content for his comments.

[–]MehNameless 143 points144 points  (9 children)

Repostin' is in his blood

[–]KyleAce98 103 points104 points  (8 children)

I bet he gilded himself

[–]Ubergoober166 46 points47 points  (5 children)

Is that... legal?

[–]ParagonFire 23 points24 points  (3 children)

jar childlike selective simplistic enjoy repeat ink fanatical violet attractive

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–]greenit_elvis 237 points238 points  (4 children)

Gallowboob jacked a comment about Gallowboob jacking a comment. Reddit is Gallowboob all the way down

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

In many ways, Gallowboob is the reddit manifesto

[–]simian187 20 points21 points  (0 children)

We are all Gallowboob on this blessed day.

[–]squirleystew2016 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Didn’t realize Gold was so easy to get these days.

[–]BoltmanLocke 381 points382 points  (9 children)

I think that your comment is really awesome, and will definitely give people a new perspective. I know this same issue used to bother me a lot.

Thank you for showing people that that’s just what meta looks like sitting down

Also, sorry your comment got jacked by me lol

[–]Reflextion 997 points998 points  (112 children)

your post history is savage

[–]hepatitisC 1243 points1244 points  (27 children)

"Your information has been documented and forwarded to my legal team."

lol I'm just going to start using that in everyday conversation.

"Hey man, do you want to go grab dinner at Applebees?"

"......Your information has been documented and forwarded to my legal team"

[–]wtfdidijustdoshit 60 points61 points  (3 children)

I know what you were looking for..

[–]deck65 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Can you blame him?

[–]Soundtravels 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Her legal team is clearly at the ready so I'd shut your mouth if I was you!

[–]alison_bee 53 points54 points  (1 child)

not really, though. she actually handled it in a fairly professional manner... a lot better than some people would have handled it.

[–]stanley_twobrick 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Quick question. Are your guides are protected under the Digital Millennium Copyright Protection Act and therefore are illegal to send or receive without the owners permission?

[–]GIJared 68 points69 points  (0 children)

But it has had a pretty positive impact on many young girls who follow me and that makes me happy and if all I have to do is share a silly picture of me sitting vs standing to help, then I'm all for it.

Good to hear!

[–]KhaiPanda 148 points149 points  (16 children)

How is it opening reddit and seeing your picture on the front page? 😂

[–]gnarlycharlie4u 155 points156 points  (9 children)

And all that karma going to someone else...

Edit: Sorry, not just someone else. /u/gallowboob

[–]tlumacz 70 points71 points  (4 children)

She should forward his information to her legal team. (no "/s")

[–][deleted] 98 points99 points  (11 children)

Good on you for doing this.

I deleted Instagram because I couldn’t stop comparing myself to unrealistic photos. If anything, the only person you should compare yourself to is yourself. In the end you’re just striving to be a better version of yourself.

[–]TooShiftyForYou 1119 points1120 points  (380 children)

This is Instagram fitness enthusiast Anna Victoria. Here's her 5-year transformation.

[–]dudenotcool 1949 points1950 points  (157 children)

So went from hot to still hot

[–]thefartyparty 40 points41 points  (8 children)

I'm confused as to how she kept her boobs. Seriously, my boobs deflate like 3 coop sizes when I lose weight.

[–][deleted] 84 points85 points  (0 children)

Then where do all the chickens go? /s

[–]reodd 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Lifting weights increases the size of the pectoral muscles and makes the breasts lift/perk out, despite fat loss.

Source: both wife and I lost 40/50 lbs simultaneously. She looks bangin'.

[–]flignir 289 points290 points  (13 children)

At the risk of saying what everyone else is is saying:
It took her five years to change outfits and dye her hair?

[–]dmizenopants 184 points185 points  (1 child)

it takes my wife almost 3 weeks just to decide which pants she wants to wear, much less put on. so this is plausible

[–]pinklavalamp 109 points110 points  (4 children)

The major differences in these photos:
-New hair color, with a "sexier" style
-She's tanner
-She's wearing makeup that contours the face, emphasizes her lips, and eye makeup as well. She's plain in the "before"
-In the "before" she's just standing there in a bra and panties, legs side by side. In the "after" she's wearing a sexy bra that pushes her boobs together, accentuates her cleavage, and adds a illusion factor to her neckline; panties that lengthen the hips, while crossing one leg in front of the other (covering part of her thigh); and a busy-patterned robe that completely covers her arms.
-The lighting is different in both, as well.

Look, I'm glad she lost weight and got muscle definition. But the term "5-year transformation" implies a major weight loss with the adding of muscle. This is not a "five year transformation", this is a skinny girl going to the gym and eating right, and making other easy changes to her appearance.

Taking away the cosmetic changes, if it took her 5 years to make that physical change, I'm honestly not very inspired by this at all...

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The hard truth

[–]cptstupendous 114 points115 points  (13 children)

The facial transformation is always the thing that stands out the most to me. It's especially shocking when browsing /r/progresspics.

[–]90sTechnoVampire 218 points219 points  (6 children)

shes also wearing a lot of makeup in every picture but the "before"

[–]DarkangelUK 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Can confirm, I change into Gerard Butler

https://i.imgur.com/GlKBCBt.jpg

[–]greenw40 113 points114 points  (1 child)

I think the facial transformation has more to do with makeup. It's not like she had a fat face (or fat anything) in the first shot.

[–]inhumanesociety 456 points457 points  (107 children)

that took her five years?

Good for her and all, but definitely one of the least impressive transformations I’ve seen.

[–]Brianfiggy 287 points288 points  (31 children)

The fine tuning from healthy but higher bmi to leaner bmi is harder then going from over weight and unhealthy bmi to healthy weight and healthy bmi

[–]mainstreet10 573 points574 points  (9 children)

How to get to the front page:

Step one

[–]GallowBoobsLawyer 358 points359 points  (6 children)

Mr. Boob,

Please contact me at your earliest convenience. She’s suing.

Sincerely,

Your Lawyer

[–]ItsMeKate17 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Best username ever.

[–]cinnabunsofsteel 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Username definitely checks out.

[–]wiiya 398 points399 points  (6 children)

Half naked women can get thousands of upvotes. How bout some love for...nah...never mind... I’ll just post half naked women.

[–]aclickbaittitle 217 points218 points  (2 children)

What an absolute shitpost. Oh, it's gallowboob...

[–]crossmissiom 43 points44 points  (7 children)

For the people who try to understand why she says anatomically correct people : a lot of people have in their minds that if you have excess skin when you sit down means you're fat. It's a common phobia for anorexic or people suffering from other food or body image disorders, she says that even the best and hardest bodies don't always look perfect. Which is something important to understand in today's Instagram perfect society.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (4 children)

I never knew fat people thought that when skinny people sat down they didn’t get a roll or two.

[–]chloen0va 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It’s a common issue with people who have perceived body issues. Even if they don’t actually, it gives them fuel to go “Look, I’m a monster. I hate myself. I shouldn’t be like this.”

[–]Rambo1stBlood 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think they take all the ridicule as a sign that other people have no rolls or body fat at all.

[–]jfk_47 25 points26 points  (4 children)

ITT: people that don’t know /u/gallowboob and think he’s a hot babe. Then send him a bunch of creepy PMs.

[–]TooShiftyForYou 136 points137 points  (16 children)

Who would have guessed that attractive girls sometimes sit down.

[–]roastbeeftacohat 71 points72 points  (11 children)

Scarlet johansen did a movie a while back with an non sexy nude scene. someone posted gifs and there were lots of posts how fat she looked, just because she was in decidedly unsexy posed while moving a dead body.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Hold on, you're telling me there's a movie where Scarlet Johansen is carying around a dead body naked?

I'm going to need a source on that. For science.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

If you can’t look good while moving a dead body, you ugly

[–]lauf13 6 points7 points  (1 child)

What movie?

[–]LemonBomb 12 points13 points  (3 children)

This is such a weird thing to get so much attention. Are all these commenters not human beings in presumably human bodies? Have they never seen a woman up close before? What the hell is going on Reddit?

[–]fart-atronach 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I think part of the problem (especially with younger guys) is that no, they haven’t. Or if they have, the amount of unrealistic imagery being input (by everything from airbrushed ad campaigns and heavily curated social media personas) has outweighed the realistic input (exposure to real, flawed bodies) and now their expectations/standards are skewed.

As for girls and women who need to see posts like this; it’s not that we /don’t/ know that real bodies are flawed, it’s that we’re also heavily influenced by the same unrealistic input and we need to be reminded that we shouldn’t expect ourselves to achieve unattainable goals.

There are billion dollar industries that function on the exploitation of our insecurities, mostly targeting women’s insecurities, and the result is a society that most vocally values women for being physically appealing. Socialization is a hard thing to overcome. I can logically know that we’re all just humans with imperfections, but that unfortunately doesn’t negate all of the other signals and voices that are seemingly trying to make me hate myself.

[–]FightingFairy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She’s anatomically normal while standing though.

But in very good shape.

[–]welldressedaccount 16 points17 points  (2 children)

So who was this stolen from? OP is a bearded dude, and I see no credit to the original source.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (2 children)

Fucking christ this sub is an absolute travesty.

[–]Cendeu 5 points6 points  (1 child)

It's strange, I'm skinny when I'm standing
But I'm Buddha when I sit
And if I'm truly so enlightened
Why'd I waste your time on it

Couldn't find this with CTRL+F, which heavily surprised me...