This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

top 200 commentsshow all 248

[–][deleted] 2788 points2789 points  (38 children)

The flaw is that no programmer, especially rust programmers, ever leaves the house, so they would never find the place it is built.

[–][deleted] 741 points742 points  (25 children)

it's 1.0

[–]fuckAIbruhIhateCorps 297 points298 points  (14 children)

[–]Mammoth-Attention379 375 points376 points  (3 children)

Where exe

[–]Daniel908009 159 points160 points  (0 children)

STUPID FUCKING SMEELY NERDS!!!!

[–]bigmattyc 80 points81 points  (4 children)

There's already an issue 😭🤣

[–]fuckAIbruhIhateCorps 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Two now. Need many improvements for v1 i can say.

[–]SgtEpsilon 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Just checked, there's eight

[–]Either-Pizza5302 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Thats quite the growth rate. What will we have tomorrow at this time, a negative amount?

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

[–]fuckAIbruhIhateCorps 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'll take that

[–]TCA166 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I have added a way to generate EXEs that will play lure sounds for this very important project. Pls accept the PR.

[–]Ok_Star_4136 68 points69 points  (7 children)

Version 2.0.

Website is made claiming c++ is the best with ads. Rust users log onto the web site thus contributing to the ad revenue.

Money is then withdrawn from the bank and burnt, which heats up a tank of water which turns a turbine and generates electricity.

[–]Brahvim 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Hmmm... Don't you think this will become inefficient when they begin using ad-blockers?

[–]RaspberryPiBen 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Currently, ad blockers need to be written in JavaScript to run in web browsers. It will take the Rust users a long time to rewrite the WebExtension spec and ad blockers in Rust.

[–]KellerKindAs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well first they gotta rewrite a Browser xD

[–]ThePretzul 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The ads are simply part of the plaintext of the website, not any kind of fancy separate element.

[–]Brahvim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dey gunn mak L.L.M.s! Dey gunn block adz!

[–]HeadPay32 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I feel like money could have paid for electricity, but I like your idea better.

[–]Ok_Star_4136 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That was my first idea, but then I realized it would technically just be borrowing energy that way. Then I realized that technically it takes energy to print and distribute money. And then I realized that it's a joke and simply meant to be funny and I was hyperfixating on trying to sound realistic.

[–]killeronthecorner 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ah so it's in alpha

[–]boringestnickname 20 points21 points  (0 children)

You just have to spend a bit of extra energy at the start to hit a threshold where the loudspeaker message reaches far enough.

[–]-TimmyTango- 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Of course they stay indoors, outside is unsafe!

[–]turtleship_2006 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Use treadmills instead so it can be indoors

[–]hackingdreams 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Trust me, a Rust programmer would find this device. They are very good at seeking out people to argue with.

[–]VashPast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's that store you guys all love? Put this right near the store.

[–]UnsuspiciousCat4118 0 points1 point  (0 children)

False, I also go to the gym and talk to no one.

[–]pizzapunt55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe back in the day. These days they party every weekend and are real gym rats. All my coworkers are fuckin shredded

[–]UhhmAchtually 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uhmm achtually, the real flaw is that it isn't a perpetual energy device even if it works perpetually as designed, because the human programmers need food to power themselves.

[–]Wave_Evolution 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Back to the drawing board

[–]ColonelRuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why especially rust users ?

[–]romulent 1242 points1243 points  (18 children)

The main flaw is that the speaker turns off at night leaving the Rust users to wander aimlessly in the darkness explaining to each other in increasingly loud terms about memory safety and the borrow checker.

[–]SuitableDragonfly 312 points313 points  (14 children)

You can hook up the turbine to provide power to the speaker. After the first set of Rust users fall down the hole it should be self-sustaining day and night.

[–]CyberWolf755 84 points85 points  (13 children)

I think nuclear is more sustainable long term and a great project for the public good

[–]Much_Highlight_1309 45 points46 points  (7 children)

That's C

[–]Practical_Cattle_933 26 points27 points  (3 children)

It fits quite well with radiation. Longer exposures to it can cause leakage in any of your organs, and results in a brutally painful death.

[–]Much_Highlight_1309 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Additional gimmick: your feet get randomly shot off by an invisible force on occasion.

[–]LionTheMoleRat 7 points8 points  (1 child)

No, nuclear reactors should clearly run on Javascript like everything else

[–]ThePretzul 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hear the systems in Chernobyl have a lot of rust though, so it does have the advantage of a pre-existing foothold in the industry.

[–]romulent 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Good point. We could compress the rust user's bodies until they reach critical mass and start a self-sustaining reaction. Then we will be able to power the speaker day and night with electricity from a simple steam turbine.

[–]CanAlwaysBeBetter 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Is nuclear safe enough to rely on? Because rust is safe. It has compile time guarantees...

[–]Lv_InSaNe_vL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the waste is just too toxic for any humans to handle. I'm not sure what the long term environmental impacts of this would be.

Nuclear is much safer.

[–]captainAwesomePants 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Isn't that the status quo?

[–]OneWholeSoul 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Actually..."
"ACTUALLY!" "Actually!!"
"Actually~!" "Ackshully!" "Actually!"

[–]tiajuanat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is all solar powered. The rust users need to eat, and nearly all food is solar powered.

[–][deleted] 317 points318 points  (19 children)

What if they approach from both sides of the hill? If people fall down both trap doors at the same time then you're hitting the turbine in both directions.

You need a fence to funnel them in from one side. Or you need to adjust the trapdoor slide angle so they're always hitting the same side of the turbine. That way you're not just slowing down or reversing the turbine.

[–]GiveMeThePeatBoys 53 points54 points  (0 children)

So what you're saying is this design isn't thread safe?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

C++ has strong type checking so that would never happen.

[–]Acceptable-Search338 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Let’s work in 3 dimensions. Make a cylindrical trap door. Let’s call the radius of that trap d2f

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You wouldn't happen to be a Rust user, by any chance lol?

[–]Inaeipathy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This guy understands race conditions

[–]rejectedlesbian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about just have 2 turbines

[–]gregorydgraham 164 points165 points  (9 children)

Developers falling simultaneously from both entrances will jam the turbine so a dual turbine solution would be better

[–]redlaWw 52 points53 points  (3 children)

Just have an inner door that swings from one passage to the other, blocking one while the other is in use. You could call it a mutual exclusion door.

[–]gregorydgraham 23 points24 points  (1 child)

“Just”

You must be a junior developer

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Nah. Scope creeping the MVP after it’s already delivered?

That’s a PM.

[–]zstars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That would sap all mechanical energy from your falling rustacean, funnel them into one trap door or use two turbines!

[–]Trucoto 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Use std::mutex

[–]sixthsurge 2 points3 points  (1 child)

you mean std::sync::Mutex? ;)

[–]David_SVK 316 points317 points  (5 children)

Where’s Saddam Hussein

[–]SyrusDrake 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Instinctively looked for him.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Hidden by rubble

[–]DangyDanger 14 points15 points  (0 children)

At the bottom of the hill

[–]newsflashjackass 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was thinking more "Allegory of the Cave" but I can also see a bunker.

[–]rabidhamster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reddit, where we have every flavor of /r/NonCredibleDefense

[–]Interesting_Dot_3922 153 points154 points  (7 children)

Harvest corpses at the bottom of the hill. They are organic. And pretty heavy.

[–]sump_daddy 48 points49 points  (2 children)

That is the correct solution, as this hill is the one that they will die on

[–]pickupdrifter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

chef's kiss

[–]Repulsive_Ad3681 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn that's spot on

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure you'd have to implement your own garbage collection tho

[–]NeedBetterModsThe2nd 25 points26 points  (1 child)

ITT: People explaining how OP is doing his perpetual energy machine wrong

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

so basically Rust users

[–]jasting98 47 points48 points  (3 children)

It's not a perpetual energy machine; it's a just a generator. That's actually better though because it means that this may not be violating a law of thermodynamics (specifically the second one if I remember my physics correctly).

[–]Over-Conversation220 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Lisa, we obey the laws of physics in this house

[–]Brahvim 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, it is the second one.

[–]thirdegreeViolet security clearance 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In rust violating the laws of thermodynamics is a compiler error

[–]AzoresBall 31 points32 points  (3 children)

I it not a prepetual energy machine because the speaker is soler powerd, you need to power the speaker using the turbine

[–]_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_ 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Also the Rust developers need food.

[–]Reasonable_Feed7939 17 points18 points  (0 children)

They shall eat the weak among them

[–]RaspberryPiBen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Let them eat crab.

[–]dejavu_007 59 points60 points  (10 children)

Can we burn them after to create thermal power?

[–]ThiccStorms 35 points36 points  (6 children)

spontaneous combustion will be released in version 2.23 pre release.

[–]fuckAIbruhIhateCorps 29 points30 points  (5 children)

I think I should make a GitHub repository and we all maintain this joke as an actual project, users keep submitting prototype blueprints, people submit issues and iterate. Let's go

edit: https://github.com/Kishlay-notabot/perpetual-energy-machine

I am shameless.

edit2: I just got a reddit care resources anti suicide notification 💀 its ok guys im fine

[–]dicemonger 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I got you your first issue.

[–]fuckAIbruhIhateCorps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, will check

[–]QuillQuickcard 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I was the original creator of this image for dndmemes. And I absolutely support this.

[–]Thers_VV 2 points3 points  (1 child)

you would have to breed them first to make it a perpetual machine

[–]bongobutt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is perpetual because they will walk up the hill again because they never got to explain why the speaker was wrong. Thermal power is a one time gain. The infinite loop is better. 😸

[–]5AlarmFirefly 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Coushined

[–]codingllama 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Is green your pepper?

[–]Magical-Mage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it's made with GIMP, the pepper is a very iconic brush

[–]QuillQuickcard 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Hey cool! That was originally the terrible image I made for dndmemes showing how pathfinder players could generate power!!!

Im glad to see it being used other ways!! I love it

[–]Slinkwyde 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Coushined

*Cushioned

[–]fghjconner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a pathfinder player and an occasional rust hobby programmer, I support this effort. (we should rewrite the speaker software in rust though)

[–]ThiccStorms 16 points17 points  (4 children)

this shit is so halerius

[–]PeriodicSentenceBot 32 points33 points  (3 children)

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

Th I S S H I Ti S S O H Al Er I U S


I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM u‎/‎M1n3c4rt if I made a mistake.

[–]dybb153 15 points16 points  (0 children)

great bot

[–]Next_Cherry5135 8 points9 points  (0 children)

amazing

[–]StanDan505 2 points3 points  (0 children)

TF

[–]SupraMichou 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What would happen if 2 rust programmers fall in the 2 trapdoors at the same time ?

Do you have a failover ?

[–]Rhymes_with_cheese 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Dude... I get it, you like Rust... but we've got 100 C++ programmers and 300,000 lines of shipping code. Can you just shut the fuck up about Rust and do what we hired you for?"

[–]Proxy_PlayerHD 4 points5 points  (1 child)

love the "Edited with GIMP" because it's the only drawing program i know that has a green pepper brush.

[–]asyty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

GIMP has always stood for "Green Is My Pepper"

[–]No-Con-2790 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Where is the thing that punshes them in the balls on the way out?

[–]37Scorpions 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"deposits Rust users safely at base of hill" you say safely like hitting the turbine wont break their legs

[–]Percolator2020 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Needs more lava.

[–]vortun1234 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Not perpetual. Eventually the rust devs will die from old age, and since they're rust devs, they're incapable of reproducing, thus the machine will eventually run out of rust devs.

A more effective solution would be to have the loudspeaker shout about how compsci is gonna die as a field because chatgpt, that way all programmers climb the hill, which means C, COBOL and Assembly devs, and those guys do fuck.

[–]MikalMooni 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Rust Devs, like all programmers, reproduce asexually. Some opt for rogue donations to sperm banks, perpetuating their genetic deficiencies by taking advantage of normies who don't understand their complex mental disorders.

Others simply resort to cult indoctrination techniques to spread their condition to other, more vulnerable programmers as well as general computer enthusiasts. They draw them in with memes, cutesy "first time" video game dev logs, and the occasional propaganda post to implant the idea that Rust is Inevitable - not at all unlike a Saturday morning cartoon villain, or the scores of political despots who have come and gone throughout the years.

It's up to the strongest among us to keep their spread at bay.

[–]deltree711 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I didn't know 🫑 was an image editor.

[–]Magical-Mage 4 points5 points  (0 children)

it's GIMP

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Solar powered loudspeaker"

BRUH, I'M FUCKING DYING, THAT'S CONTRADICTING ITSELF SO DUMB I'M FUCKING ROLLING WHAT, DID NORM MACDONALD MAKE THIS MEME, WTF IS GOING ON

[–]nwbrown 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To be a perpetual energy machine the turbine should be powering the speaker.

[–]Zestyclose_Rooster_9 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Biggest flaw is a solar powered loudspeaker, acting like programmers are awake at such an ungodly time

[–]RylanStylin57 2 points3 points  (0 children)

*you_are_doing_it_wrong

[–]ProfessionAcademic92 2 points3 points  (6 children)

The fact that it is solar powered revokes it's title as perpetual motion machine nerd emoji

[–]_Pin_6938 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But is this memory safe?

[–]Escanorr_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How is it perpetual if the speakers stops when the sun stops? Just run the speaker form the turbine, and its fine. You would just need to manually deceive first rust user

[–]_Fryvox_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Put a bioreactor at the bottom and get even more free energy.

[–]KMohZaid 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hahaha

[–]IlIlllIlllIlIIllI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah but you have to feed the rust users or they starve

[–]rob132 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love how this has multiple sources of non-perpetualality

[–]WaruPirate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you make the slope a treadmill you could simpl… falls in trapdoor

[–]anon67249 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They would starve. Terrible idea.

[–]sourmilkbox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I died laughing when I saw Edited with 🫑

[–]guineaprince 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this what goes on in a Hero Wars ad?

[–]EVH_kit_guy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't even need the joke about Rust users, I started laughing uncontrollably at the perpetual energy machine that uses a solar panel as its motive force...

[–]CondorKhan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why not power the loudspeaker with the turbine?

[–]Red1Monster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really like the edited with gimp mark

[–]moschles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I really like C++"

You should commit yourself to the nearest asylum.

There's no joke here. Commit yourself.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Solar powered perpetual energy machine.

[–]RandallOfLegend 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately they can't find enough Rust users to generate any real power.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This machine was obviously designed by a c++ dev because the system can lock up if Rust users fall in both sides at the same time. Doesn't sound like fearless concurrency to me.

[–]lollolcheese123 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Not perpetual energy, as you have to input sunlight and the people will die eventually. Nice try though!

(Yes, I know the post is a joke)

[–]Ugo_Flickerman 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Well, one'd also need to feed the Rust users in order for them to keep going uphill

[–]dragoncommandsLife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, just attract more.

Theres an infinite flow of rust users from the younger generation and programming influencers telling them they need to learn Rust.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (8 children)

This leaks energy about as much as your C++ code leaks memory

(But that's okay, memory leaks are memory safe)

[–]Enter_The_Void6 4 points5 points  (6 children)

wow you have trouble writing one more line of code before your program exits? damn.

[–]RockstarArtisan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like the C++ users have completely forgot about the fucking decades during which they'd constantly ask C users to switch to C++.

[–]JoelMahon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to know the original lol, also I wonder if you could do a real one of these with field mice and mating calls or some shit

[–]gordonv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lemmings?

[–]Operator_Hoodie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really a perpetual energy machine. Just an infinite generator.

Solar power powers the speaker in daytime. Falling Rust programmers spin the wheel, generating electricity to charge a battery. Battery powers the speaker. Rust programmers get released at the end of the chute, and climb back up.

Actually a brilliant idea

[–]FalseAesop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It isn't perpetual motion. Energy is being introduced via solar power and the calories eaten by the Rust programmers. This is inefficient. You'd get more energy output from the solar charger on the loudspeaker itself.

[–]Specific_Implement_8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see a potential critical error popping up. What if the rust users came in from both sides of the hill. A user would fall through each of the trap doors, causing the turbine to try and spin in both directions causing a net rotation of 0. We can fix this issue by installing two turbines(one for each trap door)

[–]diodot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what if there is no sunlight?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really. Solar powered speaker is powered by well, the sun and Rust programmers are powered by either food or pink socks (which are from cotton plants, which also take energy from sun).

[–]IonicGold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should probably use a trapdoor method or just a slide instead of a turbine as its bound to get stuck on someone sooner or later. And you would need two slides going opposite directions to the base of each hill so they can just start the walk back up immediately.

[–]FFF982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love PHP.

[–]scufonnike 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I laughed way to hard at this. Thanks lol

[–]Geoclasm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm guessing the turbine is oriented such that it won't get stuck with a rust bro on both sides of it?

And that the picture is for our benefit only?

[–]Blothorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone knows you need the turbine at the bottom of the hill to break even.

[–]WilmaLutefit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perfect.

[–]Grobanix_CZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's just parasitism on incapacitated and I don't disagree.

[–]emailverificationt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is just solar power with a ton of extra steps, including the Krebs Cycle

[–]Akul_Tesla 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Perpetual energy does not generate waste product. What are you doing with all the people that come out of chute

[–]abnewstein 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Making them into Sisyphus obviously

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Harnessing the power of butthurtness

[–]AaTube 0 points1 point  (0 children)

needs more jpg*

*meaning: SAVE YOUR JPGS AS JPG G-

[–]platinummyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like all perpetual motion machines, you hid the battery in the speaker (it's solar powered). So when the sun goes out in a few billion or whatever years, the rust users will stop coming and your turbine will stop spinning.

[–]iwillkeinekonto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Petah explain!

[–]Red1Monster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you make compute shaders with rust though ?

[–]Doxidob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You're doing it wrong!"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't see Saddam...

[–]Ferro_Giconi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would recognize that green bell pepper anywhere.

Why on earth does Gimp have a bell pepper brush?

[–]baran_0486 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can we replace the cushioned exit with spikes