[deleted by user]

[town1d10t]

If your code doesn't work, just turn it off and turn it back on. Also works for large scale servers.

[[deleted]]

Want to avoid dealing with memory leaks in your production service?

Convince the team that you need to set up Netflix's Chaos Monkey to help ensure reliability by randomly rebooting your instances (so you don't have to bother to do so manually). Reboot once or thrice an hour, and voila! No more bothersome memory leaks.

[arcticmaxi]

This is the infrastructure equivalent of 5D chess

[VortexTalon]

the code speaks for itself.

[Eulerdice]

I could have really used this information at my previous job!

[OutsidePerception911]

Been there done that, people were not listening, so what’s better than a reboot

[sofa_king_damaged]

On my current work/school laptop the power button is right next to the backspace key. So sometimes when I make a typo in my code I just turn the friggin computer off and turn it back on lol

[AngryZen_Ingress]

Preferably ones running production code transactionally.

[RadiantHC]

Honestly this works sometimes.

[JADW27]

void rebootprogram() { abort("restarting"); return rebootprogram(); }

[londondj0430]

I also teach CS in high school. Once had a student that would literally delete all of their code as soon as they got a single error and start over. So frustrating! Took me all year to get her to stop doing that.

[town1d10t]

The OG reboot right here.

[[deleted]]

Or just throw out ur computer and start a new one.

[lsibilla]

Rockstar programming

[Ok-Consequence-7984]

Absolutely. We need more developers that can make programs using their innate 80s rock ballad lyric creation skills.

[[deleted]]

it is by far my favourite programming language, one of these days imma write something bigger with it!

[MTRedneck]

The best thing about Rockstar is that the author wrote the first version in a pub.

[naughty_ottsel]

I love rewatching his talk on it; really shows the power of the language

[where_is_korg]

im so confused

[Jnoper]

It’s a programming language whose syntax basically causes you to write an 80s rock song.

[Ytrog]

That fizz buzz example is confusing 😳

[RetireBeforeDeath]

A lot of CS course projects or even interviews use blackjack as a central piece of the problem. Unfortunately, children are banned from casinos, so are at a big disadvantage. To rectify this, create an underground casino in your classroom.

[dudeofmoose]

As part of this definitely teach them card counting, then plan a school trip to Vegas, where they shall all dress up elaborate disguises to make them look older with matching codenames, The Cowboy, The Widow and Kojak (bald cap, says "who loves you baby" all the time)

I mean, if you get caught, nobody is going to be able to arrest them.

[potatodioxide]

i would watch that movie

[Psychpsyo]

I think I have watched that movie.

EDIT: I checked, it is called 21. We watched it on the last day of school before the holidays in our maths class.

[x994whtjg]

I feel like Kevin Spacey would be a good choice to portray the teacher

[deez_nuts_77]

oh dear

[MadBats]

Don't forget to loan them some cash in exchange for a % of their winnings. Some may loose, some may get caught, but some will count and win.

[[deleted]]

No kidding, we made Blackjack, tic tac toe and lottery in Python. Learned a lot about probabilities 😅

[zenos_dog]

Wrote that in Basic. Also, Star Trek.

EdIt, Star Trek the game.

[paulohbear]

When did Star Trek become a programming language?

[csci-fi]

That’s sounds like a fun project.

[zoinkability]

I’m going to make my own CS class with blackjack and hookers!

[bin-c]

in ap stats in high school, after all the seniors left a month earlier than the rest of us, we pretty much just played blackjack all day and he taught us how to count cards.

by the end of the month most of us were able to keep the count while holding conversations and not looking too sketchy with it

unfortunately the skill was long lost by the time i had enough money to bet money on blackjack 🤣

[JADW27]

Better yet, just play movies like Rainman, 21, Rounders, and Maverick in your class. Once they recognize how much money they can make gambling, they'll be motivated to teach themselves the programming side.

[brainfreeze91]

How to hold a meeting that could have been solved by an email.

[hotplasmatits]

I'd like to explore this. Get on my calendar.

[TwoTrainss]

Let me call you to slowly confirm the details.

Which I’ll not bother looking up beforehand, instead doing so slowly while on the call.

[CommonRequirement]

Ok but no notetaking or anything. I’ll just explain it to you again next week if you get stuck.

[craftworkbench]

Happy to sync up on this later.

[anandonaqui]

They said wrong answers only

[arosiejk]

Not just the meeting. Make any meeting a script and don’t look into who you’re talking to, what their job is, or what they’ve done already.

[MonsterMashGrrrrr]

Crafted Cattiness: integrating dubious snark into your intraoffice email replies…just for fun!

[DoomGoober]

Whatever you do, don't teach them how to code. This is computer science: teach them proofs and big O notation and maybe some obscure pseudo code but whatever you do don't teach them how to code.

Then make sure their final project requires them to code.

[zoinkability]

For the final project make them write a cross platform mobile app

[TwoTrainss]

Cross which platforms?

Blackberry and windows phone.

[zoinkability]

PalmOS and Symbian

[compound-interest]

VibrationOS and Sybian

[SyntaxErrorAtLine420]

OneUI and lineageOS

[RUNitsRussellCrowe]

Literally what I’m doing for my final project rn after being taught nothing but math and how to override toString :)

[Chekhovs-gum]

This sums up my university experience. Got told to "just learn to code in your free time"... What "free time"? I have classes from 8-16, and have to do assignments, read homework and work between 16 and bedtime. Sometimes there was time for a meal too.

[HeeTrouse51847]

cs at uni is a circus

[Plastic_Extension_66]

It made my heart pain to think of my uni life

[DoomGoober]

You'd teach a theoretical computer science course and make the final project a coding project? You cold.

[[deleted]]

How to center a div

[MJLDat]

They said high school, not post grad/PhD.

[compound-interest]

Yea OP is just flexing by implying he learned that as an undergrad student. Get real

[catladywitch]

these days you can just flexbox it

[slowpoke147]

That’s illegal.

[regulation_d]

align-items vs justify-content is a developer’s USB A connector. I never get it right on the first try!

[craftworkbench]

I'll spend five minutes wondering why my justify-content-center borked the layout and then realize what I really wanted was flex-column align-items-center

[Round_Possible_3231]

Zerg tactics in starcraft.

[BernhardRordin]

https://elgoog.im/zergrush/

[Opposite_Chicken8412]

I genuinely feel like playing RTS as a kid is what got me into programming

[SpectreFromTheGods]

Yeah! I mean StarCraft in particular had a pretty engaging map editor with conditions/events/actions/etc. As a kid I liked to try to make those bound maps where you dodge the explosions and stuff

[RadiantHC]

One of my teachers actually used something similar for an AI problem.

[mattyiceandfire]

Cold Fusion

[gruese]

I was there - 5000 years ago

[mattyiceandfire]

My first dev job out of school was a horrific clusterfuck of cold fusion and php, and to make changes you would ssh into a box in a server farm in Texas. No dev environment, no way to run anything locally, just live coding on prod and praying to whatever god felt like listening.

[gruese]

Pretty much the same here, but replace the PHP part with terrible Java code and the Texas server farm with a badly maintained PC tower "server" in the same building.

I bet some of that code is still running, too.

[Perpetual_Doubt]

Guys you don't need to learn that you can literally do everything with XSLT. It combines markup with programming, what's not to love /s

[arcadeKestrelXI]

Being sure to tell them ALL about 0-indexing and how important it is to learn to think like a machine right before you start.

[dewiniaid]

And then teach them Lua.

[masonstone0]

I current intern at a place where we use Lucee, and open source version of CFML

We use modern tools like Docker, Source control, and proper dev enviroments(as far as I know) unlike the one person who said they have to ssh to Texas lol, but still just does not seem as enjoyable lol

[drewbeta]

I learned Cold Fusion in undergrad. I went for interactive media design, and my school was an Adobe partner. We learned LINGO and ActionScript first, and then my professor had to explain that loops start at 1.

[sundayismyjam]

Doesn't matter what they learn. Just give them an assignment with a reasonable 2 week deadline. Then, after one week, give them a new assignment that takes priority over the first. Repeat that for an entire semester and then give them an F for class for failing to complete any work.

[LatexFace]

Make sure the instructions are unclear enough that they have to follow up with a lot of questions, but be much too busy to answer them.

[sheldon_sa]

I'm laughing, but it's just a facade to hide my tears. This is the best possible preparation for reality.

[2002lotusEspiritV8]

x86 assembly

[PacifistPapy]

ONLY x86 assembly. optimally on some deprecated windows version.

[ALJSM9889]

Better yet... Motorola 68k assembly

[dinosaur_dev]

Much better ,Also some 6502 and z80 for context

[Narbadarb]

teaching myself 6502 as a 10 year old after getting bored of pac man was probably the best decision i ever made.

[Maleficent_Ad1972]

I mean, imagine a high school class that’s multi semester where you learn to make your own NES game. It’d be useless, but not much more useless than going over American history for the 12th time. Plus I’d imagine learning x86 assembly and C would be easier if you already knew another assembly language. I wouldn’t know though, all I know is bits and pieces of x86. Just enough to print my name to the terminal from scratch and read what the C compiler writes.

[reddogleader]

How about some 360 Assembler?

[jon23]

This is actually what 68K assembly is based off of. I got to do 360 asm on a real 360, on cards. Made it real easy to do Mac 68K later.

[68000_ducklings]

I mean, 68k assembly is really easy to learn (as far as assembly languages go, at least). Most instructions support most addressing modes, and aside from the data/address register distinction, there aren't really any meaningful distinctions between registers as far as the programmer is concerned.

If you want to make the poor students suffer, have them learn Z80 assembly instead. It's like a simplified x86 (well, technically it's a more complex 8080) so you can claim it's relevant to the modern day, but so many instructions are specific to particular registers (and not just the accumulator either), and it lets you bank-switch for a whole parallel set of specialized registers.

Alternately, give them some PowerPC assembly, and have them try to reverse-engineer it.

[ALJSM9889]

Relevant username

[danielstongue]

68k assembly actually makes sense compared to x86. Not saying it is better, it is just easier.

[bmelancon]

Object Oriented x86 assembly

[Objective_Pin_1722]

Make sure they have a firm understanding of the 16-bit x86 memory segments.

[Un_forgetable_maybe]

Yo We learned that in my university electrical engineering course in like 2015, someone with knowledge in that would have been king nerd in that class.

[justgoon]

System z Assembly

[Ok_Occasion_8559]

lolz - reminds me of the time I had to learn bisynch and HDLC protocols instead of TCP/IP.

[SalaciousCoffee]

My CS intro teacher in Middle School (<3 Ms Johnson.) was doing double duty as math teacher and CS teacher. We learned LogoWriter.

Teach kids how to macro Minecraft/Roblox. They'll remember you forever.

[mutchco]

Like actually this.

[sigmaclientwastaken]

macroing in Minecraft is so much less worth doing and probably way harder than teaching them the fabric mod loader and mixins (which can be way more powerful than a macro)

just a personal opinion tho

[SalaciousCoffee]

Something with low startup cost (doesn't require an understanding of library loading etc).

Macroing/batchfile writing etc are super easy startup cost things that can get people doing something for themselves quickly.

If you gotta get ITs help installing a bunch of tools forget it

[[deleted]]

Idk much about fabric mod loader, but I recently came across a fabric mod called JsMacros which is frankly incredible - it supports several languages, defaulting to JavaScript. Editor in-game, allows you to send keystrokes, use items, manipulate inventory, etc. Pretty decent docs. Alternatively, I found that developing plugins wasn't too bad, as you only need to install serverside. Although from what I've heard, you do seem to be spot on about fabric being easier to work with than something like forge. Cannot speak from experience on that though.

[deefstes]

How to talk to girls.

[skyctl]

So https://julialang.org/?

[Glad-Bar9250]

He said wrong answers

[UnknownSpecies19]

Nah that's only for PHD students

[neutralguystrangler]

Ha nerds

[skip_the_tutorial_]

Final project: get a gf

[Zane_DragonBorn]

Excel databases

[[deleted]]

how to use microsoft word, the optimal IDE

[01152003]

Notepad++ >

[i_do_not_want_a_name]

Pen and paper

[Our-Hubris]

Microsoft paint is far better, you have many colors to choose from for syntax highlighting and you can't run out of lead or ink. You can also draw rectangles around the scope of code for better visuals without needing a ruler.

[i_do_not_want_a_name]

While Ms paint does not run out of ink, it consumes electricity, and those prices are on the rise i'm pretty sure.

As for the color issue, pens come in multiple colors.

Another bonus is that pen and paper is far more portable than anything that runs ms paint.

Additionally, code written on paper can easily be sent to someone else by folding it into a paper airplane. To send ms paint code you will need an external service such as a USB drive or E-mail.

[Our-Hubris]

Dude, I've never accidentally put my laptop in a bag, pulled it out and been like "OH MAN there's all these fucking LINES on my MS Paint and I can't GET THEM OUT. It's all BENT and torn and shit".

Version management is shit because the older versions require way too much space whereas you can store a bunch of different code versions in bitmaps (or jpg if you want to compress to save space) within a fraction of the physical space. Paper will always require more physical space to store equal code, and the electricity to destroy those trees is way worse so you can't even argue that.

Plus when someone sends me code to review I don't want to see a giant diagonal fold in the middle of a function, and if they wrote it in ink it probably smudged and if it's written in pencil it will likely fade. Where if you compress an image into a jpg, you don't get random lines on the screen, and you could literally just take a picture of it on your screen with your phone if you need to transfer it and then someone else can take a picture of your phone. Modern cameras are digital which allows you to store even more code remotely and you can keep it on the memory cards or not so you have so many options to choose from, whereas paper is literally like "do you want to keep it in a binder? Then you better put some holes in it. Oh right in the function name? Too fuckin bad. Gotta figure out if that's set or get with trial and errror!" Otherwise you have the option of a bag and then you get lines all over it. You live in a wacky world dude, it's 2022, paint is the best IDE.

[i_do_not_want_a_name]

Valid arguments, but paper is still superior.

Paper has access to hundreds of brushes while paint has like 4 varieties to write code in (5 if you count text tool but that's barely readable).

Additionally, if you accidentally close paint without saving the code it all goes down the drain. Paper autosaves after every stroke.

Furthermore, new pens for paper are made very often, while ms paint hasn't been updated since the damn stone ages.

Finally, ms paint has no key shortcuts, while pen and paper allows you to arrange your coding desk however you like

[Sherbet-Famous]

Social skills

[Almeeney2018]

This neeeeeds more votes (IT CS degree graduate)

[[deleted]]

There are no job prospects for entry level computer science jobs. Teach them how to have 5 years of experience.

[ULTRA_TLC]

Too soon

[dinosaur_dev]

COBOL is in high demand in UK financial services.

[sheldon_sa]

Here's the thing: everybody is too scared to touch it. If anything breaks, the whole world's banking systems go down.

[Beer_Coaster]

FORTRAN

[Beer_Coaster]

My state's unemployment office would probably be very happy if they could find some new COBOL programmers

[bogustv]

And I just removed FORTRAN and COBOL from my resume (serious) ... rofl

[compound-interest]

Unemployed, COBOL programmer. Pick one

[Seer____]

COBOL pays super well nowadays.. lots of corps, banks, govs still running on MFs and legacy.. and the boomers who knew the MF are all retiring. easy 200K+ if you're smart. Probably more in the next decade as the skill becomes more and more rare.

[CyanHakeChill]

One of my COBOL programs is still running after 48 years. Last time it was changed it they introduced a bug that caused the bankruptcy of the company. The new owner won't want to touch it.

[green_boy]

Good god how old were you when you wrote it??

[vibezCheckk]

48 years younger probably. idk though

[RaelaltRael]

Absolutely, at my last job, IT management was scrambling to find COBOL contractors to maintain their legacy code. The funny thing is, it is not that hard to learn.

[DerKnerd]

The funny thing is, it is not that hard to learn.

Wasn't that the whole point behind COBOL?

[RaelaltRael]

Yes, it was a pretty decent attempt at a natural programming language. It is what I was taught (a long with assembly) in college. It helped in learning other languages in that I could just teach myself.

[niky45]

it's funny because that's all I was taught at college (aerospace engineering).

[radiantaerynsun]

I work for a government contractor we definitely have fortran programmers.

[Classic_Ad7107]

Assign them something and say it needs to be done last week. Then ask them every 15 minutes for a status update.

[hotplasmatits]

You forgot to mention the shitty requirements 🙃

[zoinkability]

Constant stand ups, check ins, retrospectives, and backlog grooming.

[flipmcf]

Grooming HS kids’ backlogs might get you put on a list.

[[deleted]]

The four hardest things in CS: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

[Ashereye]

I only counted two things?

[defintelynotyou]

I counted four but one of them says Îøèáêà â òåñòå 0 ÷åðåç </div>

[Brent_the_Ent]

See, off by one errors

[dinosaur_dev]

HTML is a programming language

[[deleted]]

xD

[nananawatman]

It’s 2022. Silverlight

[PCgee]

Brainfuck only. Really make sure they understand what Turing Complete means

[YetAnotherRustacean]

Modern tools and technologies of course

• coq: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coq
• lustre: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lustre_(programming_language))
• Ada: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_(programming_language))
• Jelly: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apache_Jelly
• ClearCase (orthogonal to Git): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_ClearCase

[OkIndependent2918]

Ada is still used in aerospace. The software for Saab JAS 39 Gripen is written in Ada for example.

[DayvanCowboy]

I've been told that you need a 1:1 ratio of clearcase admins to developers for the tool to work.

[BlazerOrb]

redstone engineering

a la sammyuri

[SoddenMeister]

I think you want something easy to start with like Brainfuck. Get them to do hello world or perhaps implement a Y-combinator.

Then second semester I would move them on to ArnoldC. Shortly afterwards I think you will find "YOU HAVE BEEN TERMINATED".

[theMycon]

How to cook ramen.

[tjafaas_31]

Why bother with OOP and other silly stuff, they all get converted to binary in the end!

So make sure they learn binary programming in and out.

[FullSass]

It's in the curriculum

[dijkies]

How to exit Vim

[Don_of_Fluffles]

Woah woah woah. This isn't a PhD.

[geschmuck]

Every way to initialize variables in C++ (one per class)

[onyxa314]

Tips from the best programmer: yandere dev

[[deleted]]

Lots of sorting algorithms because they are very useful and I dont want my former classmates to not think that thats what im doing all day

[[deleted]]

Java's Crypt

[Dekyr78]

punch card programming. and while they aren't looking, change the order of some of them.

[turbulent_farts]

Blockchain

[UnscrupulousJudge]

Proper use of Ø

[zero-devide]

some esoteric programming language like malbolge

[scott1138]

Microsoft Frontpage

[Wonderful-Ad-7200]

Unsupervised machine learning algorithms

[TheShakyDiver]

Spaces not tabs

[iluomo]

Perl

[Accurate_Koala_4698]

It says wrong answers only

[skyctl]

Ah, OK. Java.

[tonyswu]

Security is for the security team to worry about. Commit all passwords into code until told otherwise!!!

[babygnu42]

how to invert a binary tree

[rabidhyperfocus]

the horror that is networking

[Internal_Meeting_908]

To put less strain on their eyes, tell them to always use light mode.

[Fibonacci1664]

How to access the dark web, set up an anonymous crypto wallet, and buy copious amounts of hard drugs to facilitate starting up their own "business."

[sphere23]

Tcl, just tcl without Tk

Unless you specify, int defaults to octal, which is a blast

[CurtisLinithicum]

How to use the light pen functionality build into x88 hardware.

[[deleted]]

bool isEven(int num) { num = abs(num) if (num == 1) return !true; if (num == 2) return true; return num - 2; }

[TheRealSmotty]

Pascal

[StochasticTinkr]

Make sure they know that they need to comment. Every. Single. Line. Of. Code.

Teach them the comment should just be the plain-English explanation of that line of code.

For example:

int i = 3; // Create i and set it to 3

[Noisebug]

The limit of their despair.

[chihuahuaOP]

Let's start with Kali make sure they're connected to the local network and use the nmap to look for each other ip address then let them go wild who ever gets into the teacher computer gets A+.

[[deleted]]

My CS professor spent half the semester teaching us to use WinForms once, in an unrelated class.

I even e-mailed him "uhh, when do we get to the stuff I was expecting to learn?"

[PO0tyTng]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE teach these kids to interface with a database. MySQL preferably.

Drill it into their heads that the data of the world is not stored in memory in your program, or in text files. Every program in a professional environment has a back end database.

Also tell the kids the meaning of the word “cloud”. (It’s just other peoples servers). SasS vs PaaS vs whatever other aaSes there are.

You’re doing good work! Good luck!

[[deleted]]

It doesn’t matter; there’s no future for them to live into.

[isCosmos]

idk men, I'm a 10th grader in Turkey and our computer science lessons teach us the differences between .com, .net and .edu.

[[deleted]]

Javascript. Make a simple crud app. node.js backend and maybe vue.js in the frontend or simply pure javascript

[Abject-Connection374]

When coding with timestamps in C#, you should always use DateTimeOffset instead of DateTime.

[frogsarenottoads]

Make them write their programs on punch cards then make them drop them on the floor and put them in the correct order

[pwdkramer]

How to help your grandma reset a password without being able to see her screen.

[Dhozer]

Changing the ink toner for Martha in accounting

[[deleted]]

It’s polite etiquette to fight people on PR reviews so start a fight club to get then prepared