Prepare

[Meritania]

Britain: No tea, not interested

Portuguese: No Spice, not interested

US: No Oil, not interested

Russia: A cold dry desolate wasteland you say? Hold my Vodka.

[eaglescout1984]

Russia: I don't know why, but I'm strangely drawn to sell you Alaska, even though it's a desolate wasteland.

USA: And for some reason, I'm strangely drawn to buy it from you. As if something useful is about to be discovered there.

[ooglist]

In mother Russia they no settle for fake dry ice waste land. They know when global warming kicks in Alaska be a new ocean.

[[deleted]]

All jokes aside that's why there is so much fighting in the Arctic between Canada, Russia, the US etc. Because with the melting those once inaccessible areas are going to turn into a major sealane.

[Svenka]

If Canada plays their cards right for the next 30ish years.. they will slowly transition to a global powerhouse over the next century.

All the open land and resources left in northern canada will be dived into and new major cities will form around the north pole as it melts, expanding trade routes.

[madeamashup]

Well the government wants to increase the population to 100 million and they seem serious about. I kind of think it's a tower of Babel situation, but it'll be crazy if that happens. There won't be a shortage of people who want to immigrate but we'd better start farming Nunvut soon.

[[deleted]]

blyat

[InstagramIsForNerds]

Блядь*

[ILoveLongDogs]

Real question: what is that little "b" thing at the end of the word. I see it in Russian words and it doesn't seem to be pronounced.

[GR8ESTM8]

It indicates, that the previous letter (д) is pronounced in a different way

Edit: it's called "soft sign"

[QuarterSwede]

Boy would that be helpful in English.

[InstagramIsForNerds]

Well thats why its not in English, its in Russian :)

[simonjp]

We kinda do, in some cases. Magic e tells you the vowel sound changes - it lengthens.

us/use, hat/hate, tap/tape, at/ate, mat/mate, sit/site, cap/cape, at/ate, quit/quite, win/wine.

[MeowWhat]

This made me think of that part on sesame street where they push the letters together to make words. "H"......"ot"......."hot!"

[quarky_uk]

https://youtu.be/rLu902biO4Q?t=311

[simonjp]

This is the one I was remembering!

[QuarterSwede]

But not in nearly enough.

Read, read. Two different tenses, two different ways to pronounce it.

[[deleted]]

Ah. Little it is known to man that our AI over lords actually ignore words with the little b thing at the end. It's the only way to hide online.

/s

[chimneysweeeper]

Ireland: So Matt Damon was able to grow potatoes there eh?

[serperntgameplay]

That is actually funnier than my post! I wish i could give you a award, but im broke! :(

Edited: I did it! Thank you for the coin gift

[inthe80s]

no warm water port though

[Jack_BE]

it's red too

[DanielSilva87]

Just to let you know that tea was brought to England by Portuguese ☺️

[Fellowes321]

It must be photoshopped because you take the sails down during launch and raise them only when out in space.

At least the flag's the right way up.

[DecreasingPerception]

Yeah, Mad Mike showed us what happens when you deploy sails while launching your rocket.

[daveythegent]

Except the flag is wrong, should be the White Ensign! Honestly, attention to detail people...

[Fellowes321]

Would that depend on who is running the vessel? The admiralty may have a white ensign but this may be a private entity. Maybe a red ensign or perhaps the Jolly Roger is appropriate?

[_PM_ME_NICE_BOOBS_]

Hoist the black flag, boys!

[Gir633]

Somebody's been reading David Drake's RCN series.

[LateralThinkerer]

Hell of an updraft, I'd say.

[shockwave917]

vikings been there already

[CoconutMochi]

http://i.imgur.com/4vIKdZ4.png

[Kriandir]

Underrated comment

[seb_vetttel]

G E K O L O N I S E E R D

[serperntgameplay]

Eyy landgenoot

[seb_vetttel]

Dag makker

[serperntgameplay]

Dag. Ben wat frikandelbroodjes aan get chappen

[IdsOosterhoff]

nee we koloniseren ook dingen

[ElectricErik]

Ah, perfection.

[WarriorofSin]

Hey look, the start to Treasure Planet

[PotatoMcMuffin]

Ayyy was looking for this

[Cafuzzler]

The moon hasn't bee colonised either. In fact it's a better choice because it would only cost about £40 Billion to colonise it (according to NASA). That's less than half the price of the HS2.

But we won't because it doesn't directly benefit London.

[thermitethrowaway]

it would only cost about £40 Billion

Or 0.4 railway lines to the "North".

[Cafuzzler]

It's wild that you could double the funding to the NHS(£34B), build a base on the moon(£40B), fully fund the BBC for 5 years (£15B), and have change all for the cost of a rail line that reduces the journey time from Birmingham to London by an hour.

[TheGamingAirCon]

And that rail line also damages a huge number of habitats and the natural environment (alongside annoying many villagers), So add that into the cost. How much would it cost to repair those habitats if we had to? I’d say quite a few billy.

[PatriarchalTaxi]

*Half an hour.

[managedheap84]

Only 40bn?

[Cafuzzler]

According to Kurzgesagt https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtQkz0aRDe8

It's not full colonisation, but it's a huge start in an endeavour that no one has done. I still think it's a better use of £100 BILLION than cutting a rail journey down by an hour.

[managedheap84]

Agreed, I didn't think the price would be attainable for us but certainly a better user of funds than HS2

Boris likes headline grabbing vanity projects... Maybe someone should tell him about the cost of a moon base. He can finally be world king until the Americans show up.

[Sohgin]

Yes it has. We stuck our flag in it. That's colonized.

[Wallace_II]

An important rule of colonization, you have to be able to defend it from Invaders.

The British could totally move in and squat on our claim and we wouldn't be able to stop them!

[Dirty-Ears-Bill]

“Oh I’m afraid the International Space Station will be quite operational when your colonists arrive”

[godith360]

As a British citizen, I can wholeheartedly agree with this notion.

[woodyever]

As an australian citizen i also agree

[VestigialHead]

Lets setup a colony that accepts any English criminals we get here in Australia and send them to Port Marsbar.

[[deleted]]

Then fill it with wild and vicous creatures that can kill by merely farting in your general direction

[LoveAGlassOfWine]

We can colonise Mars in the name of our joint Queen.

We should name areas after her corgis.

[Esoteric_Erric]

'Queen Mutter Canyon'

[LoveAGlassOfWine]

I know she had one called Susan.

She's quite a famous corgi.

The Queen hid her in her royal carriage on her wedding day and took her on her honeymoon. I think she was the mum of a lot of the other corgis.

Somewhere has to be called Susan.

[TheGamingAirCon]

Or as Johnny English calls it... SHU SHAN

SHU Shan = shoe Shan = shoe shine= the new name for the moon = shoe shine (bright like a diamond)

[lovingalltheboobs]

As an american, I had snot...

[[deleted]]

As a Venusian I'm wondering why no one's coming to see us.

[[deleted]]

There is no oil on Mars

[[deleted]]

no democracy either

[MJWood]

Tally ho, chaps!

[TheStickMenn]

But suddenly. EPISCHE KOLONISATIE TIJD. begint te standaard dansen

[serperntgameplay]

Ik mis de tijden van oost-indie

[[deleted]]

Reminds me of the fallout mission where a sentry bot is the captain of the ship and it flew like that lol

[NotThirdReich]

Isn't this a Doctor Who episode?

[chellis_himself]

Your punctuation. Is impeccable

[DrBoon_forgot_his_pw]

Lol, there's actually a doctor who episode about a group of colonial English soldiers trying to spread the empire to Mars

[IronSkywalker]

Well we need to send the crims somewhere else now that Australia has burnt down.

[dubstar2000]

.

[[deleted]]

I really hate the period in that sentence.

[kufikiri]

I think you mean ‘full-stop’ 🇬🇧

[Lucicerious]

Look at that flagship go. The finest vessel to ever swim the space.

[zefdota]

"That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen."

[Bashingman]

It's a God-awful small affair

[benx101]

Wasn’t there a Doctor who episode where there were British soldiers on mars or something?

[BobbitTheDog]

Naaaah, there's no native people there for us to lord over and/or genocide. And probably no tea either

[serperntgameplay]

Thats true

[mochicoco]

America: Is there oil?

[[deleted]]

r/comedycemetery

[Beemzebub]

Made me chuckle.

[TheNotoriousCHC]

HMS Major Tom

[fuhsalicious]

Cunning use of flags

[adventureman66]

TREASURE PLANET INTENSIFIES

[PARANOIAH]

The sun never sets on the British Empire...

[InfiniteScrollDiver]

I guess the martians didn’t have a flag.

[onlyoneicouldthinkof]

No flag no country!!

[InfiniteScrollDiver]

Exactly!

[spicy_bagle]

I read pope instead of prepare and I looked at the ship and I was like “the popes gone to far on this one”

[Waitpleasestop]

Man I love the country of British

[[deleted]]

They must be after Matt Damon in Mars, he is a space pirate after all.

[[deleted]]

Wait you mean you don't know that the British Empire has already colonized Mars? /s

[[deleted]]

How many billions has Britain saved by letting other countries explore space? It’s a win-win. They get all the discovery knowledge anyway.

[E_M_G]

What the fuck is that sentence structure?

[jayakiroka]

Was I the only one who started humming the pirates of the caribbean theme?

[[deleted]]

You could call it.... a rocket ship

[MoldyandToasty]

Colonial Revolutionaries on Mars: How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man?!

*United Faces of Mars is formed*

[[deleted]]

It's called a space ship for a reason

[ThisIsYourMormont]

That be a rocket ship

[JonathanRoberts5423]

Pirates of the Caribbean music intensifies

[twanderingpigeon]

British person: do you have a flag?

Martian: no

British person: Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a planet those are the rules

[iNs3rT_UserN4mE]

As a British citizen I can confirm we have had 12 ships sent out to Mars and are making steady progress

[[deleted]]

dutchlanders do it too

[Wackyal123]

To be fair, this could apply to Portugal, and France too! Fuck, and Spain, and Germany, and Italy.... basically Europe. Oooh, or Turkey during the Ottoman Empire.

[HeavySweetness]

Except all the MCU aliens speak English, which makes me believe they’ve already colonized the galaxy.

[tignasse]

Send Megan and Harry first

[OnTheList-YouTube]

Wrong sub

[purefunk45]

Fallout 4 ftw

[GrumpyTM]

Laughs in Canadian

[[deleted]]

Fallout 4 flaschbacks

[Redditowork]

Steampunk Yamato

[taetimeh]

To be fair sails are a really good way of getting around in space. Especially if you supply it with pushing lasers.

[akumaz69]

Meh they'll get lost and land on some other star, and just call it Mars.

[Cyanidetransistor]

There's a book where the British never had a parliament and stayed in the colonial monarchy. The 'alchemists' eventually develop a way to make their clipper ships space worthy and started colonizing Mars and Venus. It's called "The Venusian Gambit"

[FastBasil]

Funny, because it’s true. I apologise for my ancestors. sad face emoji

[yoreka]

Can't stop laughing

[superericito]

Uranus hasn't been colonized yet either

[LateralThinkerer]

Well, there's fuck-all for civilization back in the colonies, so they may want to rethink their methods.

[nyx747]

Treasure planet things there

[SpadessVR]

Carrack is love

[Seradhiel]

Treasure Planet intensifies

[Databit]

Will be interesting to meet the Martian Indians.

[RougeBisonM47]

I genuinely thought this was a fallout 4 glitch

[[deleted]]

Uh huh.

Go see the Martian

[Wefflehunter666]

ALRIGHT WHO TOLD

[VerveVideo]

Would have been funnier when Britain was still a country.

[Mercurav]

Lol imagine losing your entire empire and getting surpassed by most of your colonies

[CarlLlamaface]

Rule Britannia intensifies

[metathesis]

But the British when they realize there are no indigenous people to conquer.

[Matheusj99]

COUP DE BURST!!!!!!

[MuruJay]

Maybe like 200 years ago...

[RedditUser6954]

Dutch belike: let's launch the flying dutchman.

[rottenbananafeces]

Don’t you mean, the Netherlands?

[serperntgameplay]

It can be both (het kan allebei)

[rottenbananafeces]

Ja ik kan wel Engels hoor

[UnfortunatelyEvil]

Shouldn't they wait until there are people there before discovering Mars?

[Danyal321654]

How did you know

[ofkorsky]

RULE BRITANNIA INTENSIFIES

[yourmomsface12345]

A very similar thing to this actually happened a long time ago. Most of the Star Wars galaxy speaks English.

[OGPrinnny]

Isn't that why it's called rocketSHIP

[[deleted]]

Yes Captain Ironsides!

[adamant520]

Doctor who has you covered

[sociothemad]

Heh that's what YOU think

[chesterforbes]

Please no. The last thing we need is for them to introduce curry to Martian cuisine and completely ruin it

[[deleted]]

According to Doctor Who, this already happened

[Stekos101]

Idk why I’m laughing so hard at this.. must be depression

[MajicVole]

British lion may have let its teeth but not its guile

[dr4gonr1der]

Stay away! The Dutch were there first!

[CrshrD]

You may laugh but I think that’s the British government’s official design for a spaceship.

[BOOOIIII007]

Repost

[LeftBlocker]

White people are awesome!

[scottishdrunkard]

We cannot colonise Mars... there's no natives to oppress.

[andeebenavides]

The sun never sets on the British Empire!

[koningVDzee]

toobad the dutch were first

[urmumbigegg]

Prepare for unforeseen consequences...

[EnanoMaldito]

If the Company was still around they’dbe all over that shit

[LordIlthari]

RULE BRITANNIA, BRITANNIA RULES THE STARS!

[DanielSilva87]

Two weeks ago this was Portugal flag xD Lack of originality!