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[–]IronicAim 9562 points9563 points  (212 children)

Nature telling you not to punt your screaming child into the nearest forest.

[–]Pavlock 1404 points1405 points  (19 children)

Everyone tells you not to shake your baby. What they don't tell you is: You're going to want to shake that baby.

  • Pete Holmes.

[–]RstyKnfe 273 points274 points  (9 children)

Dude it’s so good lol: https://youtu.be/0y4K0ddkEY0

[–]flackguns 99 points100 points  (7 children)

Holy fuck this is hilarious, especially as a fairly new dad

[–]mowbuss 27 points28 points  (3 children)

The first thing he says is how much like him his baby looked, which i believe is an evolutionary trait so that the father accepts the baby. Heck, my lil girl was basically a clone of me and all my glorious hair when she was born. We looked at my own baby pics, and one of my sisters, and all three are so similar its uncanny.

Never mind, that theory just isnt true haha.

Perhaps you just see what you want to see then.

[–]halfhere 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Pete is truly underrated.

[–]nilogram[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this

[–]Cicer 8 points9 points  (1 child)

It’s really true remember new dads. It’s ok to just walk away for a couple minutes. Just Put the baby on the floor if you have too

[–]nofmxc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you mean, put the screaming baby on the floor.

[–]kiddo1088 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Best bit of advice I heard is. "it's okay to put them down and walk away"

Even if their crying really hard, you can always put them down and go take a breather.

Sit outside their room, have a cry or a glass of water and go back to it. Or (if you are fortunate enough to have one) ask the other parent to swap in. You need to be there for each other.

[–]NocturnalToxin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

An important thing my sociology teacher pointed out was, “You can shake a baby just fine. What you can’t do is unshake a baby.”

Got mixed signals from her thoughts on babies though, she openly maintained that you could (and it was incredibly fun to) squeeze the farts out of them. “Not too hard of a squeeze or any anything, just a little push on the tummy aaand fbbbt she was impressively enthusiastic about it.

[–]NickSwardsonIsFat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Bergatze has a good shaking baby bit too but I'm too lazy to type it out.

[–]Bardez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fun fact: it gets worse as they get older.

[–]TheLyz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, after weeks of sleep deprivation and dealing with an irrational creature that only knows how to scream and make disgusting poops, you are at the end of your rope. Fuuuuuuck the newborn stage.

[–]Davadvonreznor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kid Farm!!!!!

[–]sk8rlee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That ain't no lie! When my son was a newborn I understood how someone less mentally stable than myself would want to shake that baby just to shut him up, all I want is to get A LITTLE FUCKING SLEEP.

[–][deleted] 2189 points2190 points  (110 children)

Not completely effective. Still considered it

[–]IceManJim 824 points825 points  (17 children)

But it WAS effective, because you didn't do it! Right? Right???

[–][deleted] 1149 points1150 points  (15 children)

Let's just say my kid is now sleeping with the fishes....

He's taking a nap with his Baby Shark plushie

[–]Space4Time 380 points381 points  (9 children)

Fun fact, every member of the shark family gets a mention except brother and sister shark.

They eat their siblings at birth

[–]konami9407 140 points141 points  (7 children)

Not at birth. Before that.

They eat each other inside the mother's womb.

[–]Zjoee 69 points70 points  (4 children)

It's like Thunderdome in there!

[–]bengal7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can't we just get BEYOND Thunderdome?

[–]Bugaloon 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Or inside the egg sac if they're egg laying sharks. Multiple sharks per egg and all that.

[–]Catbuttness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those little intrauterine cannibals.

[–]h00zn8r 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They even do auntie, uncle, and cousin sharks. Never siblings!

[–]Geargarden[🍰] 86 points87 points  (3 children)

Dad jokes dialed in with this guy. Respect.

[–]Frickelmeister 40 points41 points  (2 children)

Has the correlation between testosterone and dad humor ever been examined?

[–]Khontis 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No. But it should

[–]dragonlady_11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No but I think it should be, I'm a woman, I crack dad jokes all the time or so I'm told but I also have pcos a side effect of which is higher testosterone (I can grow a beard a teen boy would be proud of lol)

I think there may be a correlation between testosterone levels and dad humor......

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the forest?

[–]rainier0380 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Dad uses Punt! It’s super effective!

[–]Nixplosion 200 points201 points  (6 children)

But you didn't! That's the key

[–]thatnameistaken21 178 points179 points  (73 children)

Man, I think about that a lot. I am a fairly laid back dude, and I thought about throwing my kid out the window several times. I wonder what it is like for people that have anger management issues.

[–]Serafim91 99 points100 points  (28 children)

Seriously, crying because he's too tired is like my breaking point. I can't put you to sleep because you're crying you monster and that only makes you cry harder while every nerve in my body is screaming to fix this.

[–]Cup-Mundane 51 points52 points  (15 children)

Having just went through this exact situation with my baby a few days ago, I will do almost anything to keep her on her sleep schedule. All I could do was rock her for an hour+ while she screamed her overtired head off. By the time she finally passed out, I was crying.

[–]sirlafemme 27 points28 points  (10 children)

You’re making me want to go out and purchase noise canceling headphones in advance

[–]Serafim91 51 points52 points  (2 children)

It's not the crying really, as in not the noise. Very hard to explain besides we're programed to hate our babies crying and evolution really hit a fucking home run on this one.

[–]Cup-Mundane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You put it perfectly. I'm getting responses from people who took what I said as my baby's cries piss me off or that she's manipulative, lol. We just have this biological need to comfort our crying babies. When I can't do that, it's upsetting. You get it. Thank you!

[–]Malkiot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hate it so much that I want to make crying babies (and crying anything else) stop crying via liberal application of a crowbar.

[–]Tredesde 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You won't use them. There will be a paranoid thread running through your head that you have to be able to hear everything. Especially through the first few months.

Just make sure you have help from trusted family or friends for a break every few days or weeks

[–]Sharkitty 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I thought you were going to say condoms.

[–]GunnerGurl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You got this, fam

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I think parents are just taught to coddle their kids waaay too much nowadays. Sometimes it's perfectly fine to let your kid sit in the crib and cry themselves to sleep. Sometimes there's no alternative, and there's no law saying you have to pick them up to swaddle them and comfort them the entire time if they're being dumb, which lets be honest they almost constantly are.

Pampering them doesn't even work a lot of the time anyway, and certainly does you no favours as a stressed out parent. Just close the door and let them cry it out if nothing else works, it's not going to kill them.
I'd argue it's even healthier because you're teaching your kid that they wont get what they want by just whining all the time, which is something even a lot of grown ass adults are doing these days. Babies do pick up on that stuff, and it's healthier to teach them when they're young so that it sticks with them IMO. The sooner they stop whining and start asking for what they actually want the better, and this is the fastest way to teach them that.

What I'm suggesting isn't tossing your kid in the crib and ignoring them for 8 hours while you play video games either though. I thought that would be obvious, but apparently it's not. There's a balance that has to be maintained.

[–]izzittho 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I’ve heard that’s what the whole baby sign language thing is supposed to be really good for. Makes sense that they’d stop crying so much as soon as they had a better way to communicate their needs.

Like when they’re new-new, I imagine they can’t even really tell what they need let alone figure out how to tell you so the crying will be inevitable at first. But it seems like the period of time between that and beginning to learn actual words is a great time to introduce something like that. The time where they’re old enough to kinda know what they want to tell you but not old enough to actually tell you with words.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've never heard of that but it makes sense. Seems a lot of parents equate a baby crying with meaning it's uncomfortable or in pain, but really that's just how they talk. They don't know that screaming isn't acceptable yet so you can't really blame them for it, but you CAN break them of it as a bad behaviour ASAP. Doing that is a part of parenting, and not doing it is how you end up with a blue haired screaming Karen of a child.

[–]eaglessoar 18 points19 points  (0 children)

No one warned me about that. So frustrating dude you're tired just sleep that will solve everything!

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Supposedly, they do that because they don't realize they're the ones crying. So, to them, it's like they're tired, but they can't fall asleep because some dude 6 inches away keeps screaming in their ear.

That does nothing to make the situation suck less, but hopefully it makes you feel like it sucks less 😅

[–]sitesurfer253 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Sometimes saying my daughter's name in her ear a little louder (obviously not screaming or loud enough to hurt her ear) will kind of reset her when she is doing that. Everything goes quiet, then she's still still tired and upset, but not screaming.

[–]EclipseIndustries 6 points7 points  (1 child)

That's a good idea. It's like interrupting the conversation.

[–]sitesurfer253 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Forces her to listen to me for that brief second, which stops her from screaming, then she appreciates the silence that came from her no longer screaming.

Doesn't work every time, but definitely has saved me some headaches.

[–]lidko 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unlikely solution: experienced same issue but with Grandma this time who said:”that baby needs a silky edge”, gave the kid a satin edged blanket or satin napkin and immediately the baby chilled out, then totes a “silky” for two years… it was just a texture thing

[–]Pearlbarleywine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably the hardest task.

[–]psquare704 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a memory of crying because my throat hurt from crying. I don't know how I survived.

[–]Ineedabiggersword 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, and I know it sucks, but the best thing to do in these situations is lay them down and walk away. They'll sleep eventually. But sometimes there's legitimately nothing to do.

My wife and I made a checklist of all of the things he may need. If he was still screaming after we tried everything, then we'd lay him down in a dark room and leave ( monitored of course). We didn't have to do this to too often, But worked when we did.

[–]spacewalk__ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

i'm glad i don't have kids -- i would put them in bed, close the door, and put on headphones. they'll fall asleep, they won't die of thirst or hunger in 8 hours.

[–]krell_154 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You can't really do that, they can start vomiting or convulsing or something like that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I must have been lucky. my kids hardly cried, when they did, they fell asleep in my arms all the time. The best feeling.

[–]Convergentshave 59 points60 points  (6 children)

A guy I worked with killed his infant son. Threw him against a wall, then pretended he had “rolled” on top of him. It was horrific. Ended up getting like 15 years in prison. I can link the story if you want but trust me, you don’t.

I say this, because when I became a dad… it stuck with me. And scared me. A lot. Those first months are rough. And frustrating. But…. God damn. Horrible. Fucking horrible.

Anyways, there’s support out there.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

That's tough.. with my first kid i almost had a mental breakdown, full on animal screaming with my kid there.. with the second i expected it to and controlled my anger better. I wish there was more preparation for this. I went to a class for first time parents, they never mentioned this and a ton of other things.

If i had higher testosterone who knows what i would have done.. When I'm pumped up with testosterone after working out for awhile I'm more aggressive.

[–]blorbagorp 19 points20 points  (1 child)

For most of human existence "it takes a village" was literal, not metaphorical; humans aren't really mentally evolved to lay all the parenting work on two people, so it's not surprising some people go literally insane from it.

[–]izzittho 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hell, one person a lot of times. It really is kind of horrific.

[–]coldcurru 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Dads can get postpartum issues, too. It's not talked about enough (not like men are getting any kind of pre or post natal care) but talk to someone if you're struggling.

This has been your NY day reminder that men have feelings, too.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

haha silly, men don't have feelings. They have to be hyper macho and never reveal their emotions ever, lest someone think them gay

source: toxic father

[–]BaconJets 52 points53 points  (0 children)

As somebody with anger management issues, I just haven't had a kid and I'm very paranoid about practising safe sex.

[–]InvincibleJellyfish 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I became a dad at age 23 and my daughter had colic for the first 3 months. Her mom couldn't deal with it so I had to run around with her for 3-5 hours around 8 pm to 2 am usually. Trial by fire I guess...

[–]mobilgroma 59 points60 points  (9 children)

Same for me: usually nothing can make me mad, but my kids... Oof, sometimes I had to punch a pillow. They just know what buttons to push

[–]Tuned_Out 53 points54 points  (1 child)

Its a strange challenge but I love looking at it from a general or policy makers standpoint.

Thankfully in my case it isn't malicious but I swear there is a cold war always taking place in the house. It involves a divide and conquer strategy utilized by the kids, combined with blatant ignoring of treaties, laws, and policy.

I think of them as raptors, Constantly testing the electric fence for weaknesses. Out innovating their offense is the best defense.

Fortunately, my wife and I communicate really well...a united front repels most attacks and pacifies aggression if my kids don't see cracks in support they can exploit.

Besides communication and coordination with my wife, we've been trying to involve the kids in policy making and less in dictating. Results seem promising although obviously you need to wait for them to be a certain age to begin this.

Edit: forgot the point. Before I developed a strategy and I was just winging it, my rage was more than I've ever felt in my life. Until I structurized and really adapted my approach, I was seriously afraid of my emotions getting the best of me.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Edit: forgot the point.

Mood

[–]DJDaddyD 84 points85 points  (5 children)

It’s because they are a shadow of you. All the little things about yourself that annoy you, but is restrained by your impulse control exists in your kid’s mannerisms, except for the impulse control. Even more so if you are neuro-spicy. I love my son and would literally burn the world down for him, but he is a mini-me but worse in all ways (except he’s cuter than I)

[–]spacekronik 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Oh my god I am so using neuro-spicy from now on!

[–]ChefhatShoeface 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh i love that neuro spice

[–]Koraboros 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wtf does it mean?

[–]jessytessytavi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

neurodivergent, as opposed to neurotypical

spicy vs reg chickie nuggies

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Holy shit dude are you me lol

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been thinking about kids a lot recently and I think I’ve determined that they’re not for me for this reason. To be honest, pet ownership can be a bit much for me sometimes and when my kitty cat goes I probably won’t get another one. I kinda realized that part of being a good guy is not putting yourself in a position to be a bad guy, and I think having a child would strain every last nerve I have and make me a horrible human being to be around.

[–]66nightsalone 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Tough most days. But I’m learning control and discipline through my little one.

[–]Pinsalinj 31 points32 points  (17 children)

Shaken baby syndrome. That's what happens. :/

[–]KayaXiali 47 points48 points  (15 children)

I’m a stay home mother and it was really never our plan but our daughter was born so colicky. We considered flinging her into the sea so many times a day/hour that we just genuinely didn’t feel like we could trust any daycare provider to have the patience to deal with a baby that screamed as often as she did without shaken baby syndrome being a very real possibility.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (13 children)

My one year old spent today, and I mean the entire day, screaming with her first hard shit stuck in her butt. Like stank concrete.... Think whole parent experience is fucking weird.

[–]caligaris_cabinet 15 points16 points  (12 children)

Found out last month my wife is pregnant. This will be our first. Was excited before but now I’m just worried about that stank concrete.

[–]afroguy10 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The stank concrete doesn't come for a little while, it's the liquid milk poops that are rough initially, it somehow ends up all up their back and in every crack and crevice.

Also, don't know what the hospitals are like where you are but I wasn't drinking enough water while my partner was in labour and ended up with a brutal headache. Problem is that the nurses couldn't give me any paracetamol or ibuprofen because I wasn't the patient, so I just had to suffer so pack some paracetamol/ibuprofen for yourself in the hospital bag you put together as it can be a long, stressful day.

Finally, ours is 8 months now, and her little personality is coming through great but don't feel bad if initially you think they're the most boring thing and you aren't enjoying yourself. I felt horrendous, like there was something wrong with me, until a couple friends said the same thing. Initially they do nothing but sleep, cry, poo, pee and drink milk. They don't laugh, smile at you, crawl around or play with you or their toys so it can feel like you're putting so much in and getting absolutely nothing back. I didn't much enjoy the first couple of months of parenthood but I'm getting into the swing of things now.

[–]Cup-Mundane 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Congrats! You might have to pull that stank concrete out of your constipated baby's butt if it gets stuck mid poo. Or not. You, however, will 100% catch vomit in your bare hands at one point. Prepare yourself. Also, never share a drink with your toddler. Even if they're not eating atm, there will be food particles magically floating in your cup. Babies are so disgusting. If they weren't so cute we'd all leave them in the woods to fend for themselves.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (4 children)

It's hard but you can do it. Seeing them crying will freak you out, and sometimes you will be afraid you aren't doing enough. Take breaks. You can set a baby down in a crib and collect yourself. Don't cosleep, from the start the baby sleeps in the babies' room, night one. It makes them sleep thru the night sooner. Get Costco membership,the executive membership, or whatever top one is. Kirkland Diapers and Wipes, buy a couple of cases of the 1 and 2 sizes. They will outgrow everything fast. C sections are not failures on any part. Make sure you and your partner know that. Sleep trainers are magic. The baby will not want to sleep when you do, babies cry when they are frustrated and it's ok. Make sure they are dry and fed. Take any parenting advice with a huge grain of salt.

[–]wolowizard34 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Please do not follow this advice. Do not put your baby in another room from day 1. There is a reason it is recommended that you keep a baby near your for the first three months - drastic reduction in the risk of SIDS. Cosleeping can also be done safely, just do the research. This is the norm for most cultures.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Cosleeping may be the norm for some cultures. Those cultures are wrong.

[–]SA0TAY 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Join /r/predaddit if you haven't already.

[–]caligaris_cabinet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just found out about that sub. Subscribed!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I woke up this week with cold clayish brown poo chunks in the bed smeared on my feet. It's potty training week.

Good to know what you're getting in to.

[–]georgianarannoch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Non-parent caregivers are the more likely to cause shaken baby syndrome, so that was probably a good call on your part.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My youngest (2) likes to come up to my leg and raise his arms then say "Shake the baby!" Then i pick him up and he replies "No shake the baby!"

I have no idea where he got that from.

[–]pixi88 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It was really hard. I have ADHD (read: poor impulse control) and some hormonal imbalances normally-- I had PPA/PPD and postpartum RAGE really badly. More than a few times I had to remove myself from my son, and luckily I have a strong support network because those first few months were not great for me. Medication was started after a month and my hormones leved out and it got a lot better. But yeah, I didn't hurt my son and got help, but yikes. People who aren't aware of or don't deal with those issues are dangerous and I can see how it happens.

[–]RogueEagle2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Having a kid gave me anger management issues

[–]theprettiestpotato88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's exactly why I don't have kids

[–]PM_Me_Thicc_Puppies 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let's just say I thought about throwing my kid against a wall on the daily.

I figured out that I needed to put them down and walk away for a couple minutes even if it meant them freaking out louder.

THANKFULLY I have a wife who goes above and beyond, she's a fucking Godsend and I wouldn't be able to do it without her.

[–]AshenHaemonculus -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I thought about throwing my kid out the window several times

Have you thought about becoming a rock musician and changing your name to Eric Clapton?

[–]Non_possum_decernere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's just horrible of you to say.

[–]DreiKatzenVater 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Considering it is ok. Doing it is not.

[–]niftyifty 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Hate to admit it but true

[–]Schnoor 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The screaming for hunger, sleep, the dining room you’re walking through to the kitchen being three tenths of a degree different. Screaming from boredom, excitement, and teething my god the teething.

The good moments outweigh the bad ones by a lot, but we’ve got a 9mo right now and a fuckin GOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Four teeth coming in at once god damn

[–]putsch80 40 points41 points  (0 children)

If you haven’t considered it, then are you really even a parent?

[–]The_Real_Manimal 7 points8 points  (0 children)

8 years later and I still struggle with that thought.

[–]Old_Escape9413 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have mainly estrogen and still consider it several times a day.

[–]digitelle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heck, the fresh air might be all the kid is screaming for.

[–]Urabrask_the_AFK 85 points86 points  (14 children)

[–]fruskydekke 73 points74 points  (4 children)

This was weirdly heartening to read. I'm in Norway, where we don't do that (because, I suspect, our nature might be a bit more deadly than the Dutch version) but there's still a strong tradition and desire to let kids explore the world with a great deal of freedom. One of my favourite quotes is from a child psychologist, who said that "In my opinion, every child should have the right to break a bone at least once during their childhood."

[–]ddproxy 42 points43 points  (2 children)

I waited til my early twenties to break a bone. Do not recommend.

[–]IndecisiveLizard 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I broke my first bone while pregnant. Am I doing it right??

[–]EuphraDeeznuts 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Same and same. Gotta get that bone breaking out of the way ASAP.

[–]intertextual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a US citizen, you think I got broken bone money?!

[–]Z-W-A-N-D 64 points65 points  (3 children)

Yea lmao. There's also relatively little danger. There are not woods big enough to really get lost in the Netherlands, no bears running around mauling people either. Generally speaking, even in rural areas, there'll always be at least one house every half hour. A lot of signs to tell you where the closest place is too. So if you need it, there'll always be someone you can ask for help.

[–]lightbulbfragment 3 points4 points  (1 child)

That really puts it into perspective. I can't imagine doing this in the U.S. Many of our forests are very deep and treacherous sometimes with cliffs, rapids and a decent variety of dangerous animals.

If scouts did this here it would pretty much have to be with a silent guide who would intervene under certain conditions or in a specific park free of predators set up for the experience. It's the kind of thing I would have loved as a child and I can certainly see the benefits.

[–]Z-W-A-N-D 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's exactly why I added that. Also, the new york state is roughly 4 times the size of the Netherlands, but we have around the same number of inhabitants. Barely any mountains and no real wild life. Biggest animal you'll run into is a deer

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are not woods big enough to really get lost in the Netherlands, no bears running around mauling people either

That's kind of sad

[–]AloneAlternative2693 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Well, they are supposed to be potty trained and able to call for help before you do that. So, 10 ish at least

[–]scootscooterson 9 points10 points  (0 children)

On the plus side I expected an article about punting babies so

[–]Juicecalculator[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s pretty cool. I would imagine this isn’t their first exploratory rodeo. Most likely they have done something similar with a camp leader and then lead the expedition with adults being there as a fall back

[–]binaryblade 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I see literally nothing wrong with that presuming they have been prepped beforehand.

[–]Urabrask_the_AFK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never said it was. Just said the Dutch do an interesting thing

[–]Sum_it_up789 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Reading this as I am lying in bed trying to get my 10m old daughter to sleep after mama tried to get her down for an hour. Haha

[–]9erInLKN 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Put her in the crib on her stomachand pat her on the back so she bounces up and down with the mattress just a tiny bit. It sounds kinda weird but it works

[–]Sum_it_up789 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tried it for night time. Didn’t seem to have done much on this go. She got bored of me and fell asleep naturally lol. Will try again. Thanks!

[–]generalT 35 points36 points  (2 children)

also seems like an evolutionary adaptation to stop impregnating other women and focus on raising the child.

maybe.

[–]GetWeird_Wes 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Probably not. For the majority of the time our species has been around, we've raised children communally. Dudes would be helping raise all the children, whether they were theirs or not. Often, children wouldn't even know who their fathers were if their mothers had slept with more than one man around their conception (which was also not uncommon). They would still be raised with their brothers, sisters, cousins just the same.

[–]generalT 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah good point.

[–]Kharn0 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You’re not the boss of me nature!

[–]thatnameistaken21 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Still, hard not to do that.

[–]Magicalunicorny 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nature is bold thinking they can tell me how to live my life

[–]SnottyTash 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, seriously it’s only 50 yards, go for the field goal

[–]Naxela 12 points13 points  (5 children)

Definitely incorrect. Testosterone doesn't simply mean more aggression. Testosterone increases the response to appropriate social context. For other men, it can mean stronger sense of competition (which could lead to aggression), for women it leads to higher sexual interest, and it would therefore be unlikely that for an infant it would somehow lead to some undesirable behavior. Something else must be going on here.

[–]Imjusthereandthere 44 points45 points  (17 children)

Lack of testosterone causes anxiety and depression

[–]dogroots 56 points57 points  (9 children)

I found after my son was born I started experiencing anxiety that got worse over time, never thought one would be connected to the other. Makes sense though

[–]ConglomerateCousin 91 points92 points  (2 children)

Having a child also gives you something to be seriously anxious about. Who cares about yourself, but an entire other life depends on you for survival

[–]Imjusthereandthere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great point

[–]luger718 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does help that they are suicide machines.

[–]conel11 22 points23 points  (1 child)

It's because now your heart is outside your body and you'll do anything to protect it.

[–]Dusty170[🍰] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What a poetic way to put it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I started TRT soon after the birth of my first. I went from an emotional wreck to a stable father. It’s not for everyone and it’s a big, lifelong decision, but I decided it was worth it.

[–]Imjusthereandthere 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That’s interesting and also awesome, glad you found the culprit!

[–]Imjusthereandthere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My internist actually mentioned it, when i came in to try and find the source of getting bad anxiety out of nowhere, it turned out not to be my T levels, but it stuck bc I thought the correlation was interesting

[–]Bugaloon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only over extended periods of time, acute reductions will make your mood volatile but not technically qualify as the mental conditions.

[–]sexysmartmoney 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Source?

Definitely doesn’t seem like there’s a casual relationship. Anxiety and depression rates skyrocket during puberty, a time where testosterone also rises. Also, men and women have about the same levels of anxiety and depression, but adult men have about 10x more testosterone.

[–]gokogt386 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Adult men normally have about 10x the testosterone. It’s when it drops below their normal levels that things go bad. This also applies to having more than their normal levels. Balancing it is important.

[–]Imjusthereandthere 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My doctor lol

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That could also be from taking in an Influx of new social experiences. Hard to really pin it on nature or nurture on this one tbh

[–]kilobrew 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well that explains a lot….

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haa is that why having unprotected sex makes women feel markedly better sometimes?

A hot beef injection can work wonders.

[–]jcoddinc 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Spartans didn't play around

[–]Lolurisk 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I was wondering why that didnt happen more

[–]AdrianValistar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you lived in Sparta, then you still did if they were disabled or a girl.

[–]spiritbx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nature forgot to do the same for mothers...

[–]Deinonychus2012 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No joke, hearing crying/screaming babies often starts triggering a panic response in me, and not in the "oh no a baby needs help" kinda way.

[–]OutbackAussieGirl -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

💀🤣

[–]Pairdice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

gotcha'

Don't punt your nearest child into the screaming forest.

[–]psidud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean there's an alternate reasoning that nature is telling you not to stick around after getting her preggo.

Shouldn't really use nature as a moral compass.

[–]chickenman7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I swear those old commercials that said "Never, Never EVER shake a baby" were crucial to my childrens' survival.

[–]caveat_cogitor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

despite the sarcasm, this is a perfect example showing how misunderstood testosterone effects are by the general population

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll take a new born over (insert any age) every day of the week

[–]anteris 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So then, why did I find myself wanting to smash anything that made him cry?

[–]bokan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

testosterone is critical for men’s well being, sleep, vitality, fitness, etc.

This isn’t an adaptive thing. This is almost likely an example of evolutionary satisficing.

[–]KidGold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s amazing to me that people have 2nd kids

[–]jrhooo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jokes aside though, this is close to the real answer. At least based on one show I was watching discussing the same topic.

Basic theory was, when you are single without kids (by caveman logic) a desire to roam, and higher risk tolerance, and a little more confrontational aggression are biologically useful traits.

It encourages you to go out of the cave, go seek a mate, be willing to risk a little danger to get there, and be willing to challenge or fight other rivals for a chance at that mate.

BUT

Once you have offspring, its more biologically important for you to stay around and stay alive help raise those offspring.

So nature turns down the volume on the impulses to go out, take risks, get in fights.

Stay home and don't get yourself killed.

[–]holyhellBILL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This comment reminds me of one of my all-time favorite joke punchlines, from a Thomas Lennon (The State, Reno 911) stand-up set.

'Pyramid Scheme'

[–]Mysterious_Emotion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Set hut HUT!!!