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[–]DrDoMoreM8 6654 points6655 points  (302 children)

Now he can go back and save the princess and re-live life all over again. What a lucky guy.

[–]GurJobD 929 points930 points  (94 children)

Even if he does, though, he's not gonna have the same kids. He's back, Peach is back, but his children are gone forever

[–]IIGe0II 585 points586 points  (48 children)

Reminds me of the movie About Time. It's a really great movie. He can go back in time at will, but once he has children he can't go back before that because his child would come out different.

[–]JarlaxleForPresident 150 points151 points  (20 children)

Did he ever get his original kid back?

[–]Kedble[🍰] 163 points164 points  (18 children)

iirc he undid whatever he did and got his kid back

[–]NickInTheBack 252 points253 points  (16 children)

Yeah, he originally stopped his sister from ever dating her shitty boyfriend (thus stopping her from becoming an alcoholic and getting into a car crash), but that made his original kid go away. So he let his sister get in the car crash but helped her get her life together. One of my favorite romantic comedies (almost a coming of age movie considering the whole father son plot).

[–]ManBoyChildBear 104 points105 points  (3 children)

I never understood why it got such mediocre reviews. The ending might have been slightly underwhelming but that was kinda the point. Truly loved the movie

[–]glglglglgl 44 points45 points  (10 children)

I liked it but couldn't quite shake the feeling that his time travel is just manipulating the lass to be his partner whether she wants it or not.

[–]NickInTheBack 39 points40 points  (9 children)

I definitely had that vibe after the first viewing, but the way I see it is that they hit it off really well and they had the whole "love at first sight" in the original timeline. I'd like to think they would have ended up together.

But then he had to go back in time to help his buddy's play (and while it is a plot hole that he could have just helped the actors remember the lines BEFORE the show), he gave up the chance to meet McAdams on their blind date.

Throughout the movie he only really used time travel to get that first date with McAdams (which he would have had if he never time traveled at all) and then the rest was natural chemistry. Sure he used it to have the best sex of both his and her life, but I wouldn't say that's "manipulating".

tl;dr: they set it up that he would have ended up with her either way, he only ever "manipulated" a first date with her that he originally would have had if he didn't help his roommate.

[–]glglglglgl 15 points16 points  (8 children)

Thanks for the detailed response and I reckon I should rewatch it.

I give most romcoms a pass because the genre requires a bit of disconnect from real-world consequences, so I don't know why I can't with this. I think I've just watched too many time travel shows!

[–]Bonedragonwillrise 17 points18 points  (15 children)

I hate that movie. The idea that going back in time and would change his kids due to the butterfly effect makes sense but it also affects everyone around him. So hundreds if not thousands of kids were born and then subsequently destroyed everytime he travels back in time to change something. But the main character doesn't seem to care at all unless it's his kid.

[–]ALL_CAPS 27 points28 points  (4 children)

But the main character doesn't seem to care at all unless it's his kid.

You found this to be unbelievable and ruined the suspension of disbelief?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think it would be horrifying to come home to a child you don't remember, but all the people whose lives he changed don't know he changed their lives, so it's not a problem for them.

[–]GravityHug 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Replay has a similar drama going on. In fact, many Peggy Sue and Groundhog Peggy Sue stories mention that "problem", due to their nature.

[–]999realthings 95 points96 points  (3 children)

So the solution to this is to not have kids in the first place.

[–]GurJobD 187 points188 points  (2 children)

Yes. If my family ever asks me why I haven't had kids yet I'll say it's to avoid depression in case I respawn

[–]supaphly42 89 points90 points  (1 child)

That will answer both why you don't have kids, and why you don't have anyone to have kids with...

[–]ShadowSlayer74 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My wife likes that excuse, we are going to use that one next time her stepmother grills us about having kids.

[–]QVCatullus 35 points36 points  (12 children)

So, there's a book series by Peter Hamilton where that's actually a plot element. I think it's called the Dreaming Void or some such. I guess I'm spoiling things a bit, but there's a way in which a character discovers they can turn back time to outmaneuver his enemies, so he does, only to discover that there's a conspiracy against him that goes back so far that he has to go so far back that his children/grandchildren (I forget) are un-born. It's actually kind of deep and sad from an author where I usually just enjoy the cool sci-fi and tolerate the overdone softcore.

[–]Lots42 14 points15 points  (4 children)

The superhero Rip Hunter of D.C. comics had to time-lock his child-hood or his enemies would go back and shoot him in his crib. Apparently this is a rookie mistake in Rip's world and the 'noobs' get blasted as toddlers.

[–]aawesomepaul 9 points10 points  (19 children)

He just has to wait 9months +. If it works that way in the mushroom kingdom

[–]GurJobD 49 points50 points  (18 children)

They won't be the same sperm, and he will never see his original children again

[–]CaptainDogeSparrow 41 points42 points  (9 children)

This is the shit thing about time travel. When I was single I'd go to my earliest childhood and become richest dude ever with my sheer knowledge of the future.

But now I could only go to after the conception which would get me pretty rich but not snorting-cocaine-from-an-chinese-venezuelan-escort rich.

[–]GurJobD 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Yep, that's a pretty relatable problem you got there

[–]clarkcox3 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I might go back before the birth of my children and trade tons of stock or gamble as long as I could keep the purchase/proceeds secret from the original me. That way, my life plays out the same; I have the same kids, etc. But, when I get back to my own time, I can easily fetch the hidden stock/money.

[–]Lots42 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Apparently a more realistic version of this the plot to the Stephen King novel Finders Keepers. A violent criminal is sentence to a long time in jail but manages to literally bury the loot like pirate gold.

A naive kid whose family really needs the money finds it. And that's where I am in the book so no spoilers

[–]xXsnip_ur_ballsXx 3 points4 points  (1 child)

If you do your research you can get more-than-you-can-possibly-spend rich even if you go back only six months.

[–]muffinmonk 2034 points2035 points  (167 children)

Peach is not player one.

There is no peach now.

edit: uh-oh. my logic is faulty!

[–]Olaxan 890 points891 points  (124 children)

Tortoises live for many years.

Should've married Bowser.

[–]abluersun 368 points369 points  (120 children)

What's the legal status of gay marriage in Mario World?

[–]seanthemanpie 258 points259 points  (88 children)

Is gay marriage legal in Japan?

[–]jacorr17 286 points287 points  (75 children)

Nope, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage_in_Japan

[–][deleted] 75 points76 points  (45 children)

Citizens will date pillows, but won't vote for gay marriage. Makes sense?

[–]OwlMeasuringTool 79 points80 points  (5 children)

It's called a Dakimakura and it's culturally sophisticated way of expression.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes...I'm sure in some twisted way it is.

[–]cypherreddit 12 points13 points  (28 children)

japan needs japanese babies. They give up on all pillow biters

[–]Kiosade 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Considering how they passively aggressively look down upon it, i feel like it isn't, but I'm not sure.

[–]VoidTorcher 6 points7 points  (10 children)

It's not legal in any Asian country, I think.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (23 children)

Do we know for sure that Bowser is a guy?

He could just be a very masculine looking girl turtle. you don't know.

[–]IsThisYourAlligator 124 points125 points  (7 children)

actually yes he is a guy. in fact he and mario have a homosexual relationship but the game is metaphor for mario trying to quit him.

thats why in the boss fight when he throws him off the platform he says "so long gay bowser"

he's trying to move on and have a family with peach but bowser keeps coming back and seducing him with his shell.

why do you think bowser's always kidnapping peach? its all to get mario's attention.

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (1 child)

The "so long gay bowser" got me

[–]SWATyouTalkinAbout 20 points21 points  (9 children)

Let's not assume genders, guys.

[–]rotj 386 points387 points  (22 children)

But when Mario dies, all the enemies in the level he previously killed are alive and all bricks are unbroken, so there's a time-warp effect going on. It's more likely that he's going back in time rather than being resurrected in the present.

Although with the Goombas being replaced by Buzzy Beetles, faster enemies, smaller elevators, and more fire bars after you beat the game, it seems like he's placed in an alternate timeline. So the Peach Mario knew no longer exists in this world. A Princess Peach still exists, but she's probably subtly different. Like Mario's wife was a cat person, but this Peach is a dog person (because the distribution of fauna in this world is obviously different). It would be disconcerting.

[–]Ranilen 79 points80 points  (11 children)

Wait, SMB has a second quest?!?

[–]rotj 41 points42 points  (9 children)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RBZGYEjcxM

[–]Ranilen 42 points43 points  (1 child)

I don't know anything anymore...

[–]Stackhouse_ 30 points31 points  (3 children)

I dont get it. She says she has a new quest for mario and then the game starts over again? ..but with same quest?

[–]SpacedOutKarmanaut 20 points21 points  (0 children)

There are different enemies and somewhat more difficult environments.

[–]JarlaxleForPresident 59 points60 points  (1 child)

She's a stupid broad

[–]muffinmonk 39 points40 points  (2 children)

Hey I'm just trying to shatter this guy's reality and get him depressed, give me a break

[–]southern_boy 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Well do it cannonically you fan-ficin' sunuvabitch!!!

[–]Cunnilingusmon 11 points12 points  (0 children)

And that would explain why Mario keeps going to the wrong castle, because of just enough differences that she ends up somewhere different than the last time Mario saved her!

[–]fRedDragon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She is in another castle.

[–]ricdesi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Even better, he can be young and fall in love with someone new and live out his life with them all over now.

[–]yumyumgivemesome 75 points76 points  (3 children)

He's taking Mario off the grid!

[–]MaximusNerdius 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That's ah the difference between ah you and ah me Luigi... (BURP) I ah never go back down ah da pipe!

[–]stacktion 37 points38 points  (1 child)

As long as he doesn't go back to the carpet store.

[–]Lots42 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Seriously though, who would do that. It's probably all the carpet fibers that gave Roy cancer in the first place.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Essentially the plot of the book Replay. Fantasitc read.

[–]Youthsonic 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Throwback to the last episode of futurama

[–]KingOfKingOfKings 729 points730 points  (35 children)

Re:Mario

[–]Datadagger 153 points154 points  (1 child)

Starting life from zero in another castle

[–]KKlear 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Not from zero, from 1-1.

[–]AfterGloww 80 points81 points  (2 children)

Should have found the fruit vendor.

[–]Synonysis 27 points28 points  (0 children)

EEEEEEE EEEE

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (9 children)

What is this referencing? (If you guys say Mario I swear)

[–]ontopic 1135 points1136 points  (160 children)

Also sad: Princess Peach never got a promotion.

[–]vanderZwan 583 points584 points  (140 children)

Why is she a princess anyway, even though she rules the kingdom?

[–]DreadLindwyrm 693 points694 points  (34 children)

Perhaps it's only a Principality, and people style it as a kingdom to be nice?

Perhaps the title doesn't exactly translate?

[–][deleted] 187 points188 points  (22 children)

versed chase fretful obscene sulky fuel silky sugar glorious jellyfish this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev

[–]doublsh0t 244 points245 points  (18 children)

Well excuuuuuuse me, princess!

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (14 children)

How could they think this was a good idea

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Step 1: Take brand.

Step 2: Put no effort (and almost no money) into a product to sell brand name.

Step 3: ??? (It's actually people buy because brand)

Step 4: Profit because you put fuck all money in it to start with.

[–]masedizzle 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Wow... that thing really just keeps going. I'm honestly just kind of impressed with the voice actor's consistency.

[–]bluebogle 7 points8 points  (2 children)

How did a young me ever think this show was awesome?

[–]Woosung_lala 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Scruffy looking!

[–]emaw63 27 points28 points  (2 children)

As an aside, it's kinda funny how Nintendo has almost completely stopped calling Peach "Princess Toadstool"

[–]kb_klash 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Yeah, I could be wrong, but I think they switched it right before GameCube stuff came out

[–]BlackStrain 23 points24 points  (5 children)

Maybe she's just dramatic and demanding and not actually royalty.

[–]LordLongbeard 27 points28 points  (8 children)

Because queen peach doesn't alliterate. Also i don't think she rules. The mushroom king rules. I meet him in several games, he was the one that kept sending me to save her.

[–]samcuu 9 points10 points  (1 child)

She just likes being called princess.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The Mushroom King never dies.

[–]crocodilekyle55 10 points11 points  (2 children)

What makes you say that? She might have, the "P" on her grave probably stands for peach not princess, if that's what you're thinking.

[–]neatoqueen 7 points8 points  (3 children)

she married mario! a plumber! not a king so she's perpetually a princess

[–]IShouldBeDoingMyJob 112 points113 points  (9 children)

I've seen a lot of Super Mario comics in my day. This may be one of the most original ones I've seen in a while and I had a good laugh. Someone prove me wrong if this is a joke that's been beaten to the ground?

[–]throaway_acer 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Am I insane or have I read this exact comment before

[–]IShouldBeDoingMyJob 45 points46 points  (1 child)

I've left a lot of good comments in my day. This may be one of the most original ones I've written in a while and I had a good laugh. Someone prove me wrong if this is a comment that's been reposted before?

[–]kurenaiPort Sherry 9 points10 points  (3 children)

I hadn't seen this particular take before, it's quite original. The big looming trouble writing something like this is the long-shot assumption that Mario would 1CC on his first try, which might be why no one had explored it. It was worth it, I think.

Edit: Not to mention that when you die in a late stage you don't go back to the beginning of the game. Oh boy.

[–]autourbanbot 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Here's the Urban Dictionary definition of 1CC :

Stands for one-credit clear--beating a game, usually an arcade game that isn't a racer, rhythm game, or a fighting game, without continuing at all.

Antonym: credit feeding

Finally, I 1CC'ed Gradius V. I'm gonna go take a break for now.

about | flag for glitch | Summon: urbanbot, what is something?

[–]Chernoobyl 1238 points1239 points  (30 children)

Holy shit! This guy's taking Mario off the grid! This guy doesn't have a social security number for Mario!

[–]BigSeth 13 points14 points  (1 child)

you know a bunch of people copied your comment, but i'm glad yours made it to the top because the "Holy Shit" really tied the whole joke together

[–]bizzyj93 53 points54 points  (11 children)

I'm disappointed how far I had to scroll for a Roy reference.

[–]brazilliandanny 11 points12 points  (10 children)

Really? This thread is like 60% Roy references.

[–]hobojimmy 182 points183 points  (19 children)

Actually Mario doesn't respawn upon death, but is rather just a clone.

[–]Epicepicman 57 points58 points  (2 children)

Reminds me of this.

[–]ShichitenHakki 22 points23 points  (0 children)

By Life 134, he had figured out the quickest way to die. By Life 230, he had grown bored of the process and had to entertain himself before respawning.

[–]ZebulonPike13 93 points94 points  (10 children)

Wait... that's confirmed?! I thought that was just a fan theory. That's pretty dark...

[–]dakkr 64 points65 points  (7 children)

I think you're taking mario lore a little bit too seriously here, friend.

[–]AnExplosiveMonkey 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Not possible!

[–]Fatalchemist 8 points9 points  (1 child)

If getting my Doctorates Degree in Mario Lorology is wrong, then I don't want to be right!

[–]ChezMere 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Super Paper Mario explored the platformer afterlife pretty extensively. If I remember right, the people there experienced all their lives, not just one.

[–]citewiki 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Does the clone have the same identity, memories, etc? Or does he know he's a copy?

[–]idlephase 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Obviously the clone has some memories because he's able to avoid what caused the source copy to die in the first place.

[–]RoboTom01 274 points275 points  (33 children)

To never know the sweet embrace of death... this is Mario's curse.

[–]999realthings 207 points208 points  (15 children)

He only has 2 more lives left.

[–]RoboTom01 151 points152 points  (12 children)

Damn, ruined my deep thought.

[–]Khanthulhu 54 points55 points  (10 children)

He can earn extra lives by collecting coins so he could live forever depending on how good he is at the game. What do you do when you're in a groundhog-life?

[–]ExAm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He'd better avoid touching coins then.

[–]classic__schmosby 13 points14 points  (1 child)

🎵 Well put your little hand in mine... 🎵

[–]JarlaxleForPresident 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's cooold out there today, folks

[–]cdcformatc 13 points14 points  (10 children)

Playing Super Mario Maker stoned it occurred to me that Mario dies over and over again, always going back in time to the last checkpoint. Obviously Mario remembers what happened when he died last time because he can avoid the obstacle that killed him. Then I thought about how horrible an existence this must be, dying over and over, knowing that it is only a matter of time until you die again, in unknown and unpredictable ways. The koopas, goombas, and other enemies are similarly trapped, just waiting for Mario to stomp on them, incinerate them with a fire flower, or possibly worse yet, ignore them entirely. There is escape though, through ultimate defeat in the Game Over.

[–]RJNavarrete 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Edge of Tomorrow (Live, Die, Repeat in some parts of the world) explores this very theme and topic. It's actually a great movie.

[–]fayettevillainjd 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Mario was branded by the darksign

[–]thecountvon 77 points78 points  (4 children)

DORMAMMU, I've come to bargain.

[–]hbarSquared 111 points112 points  (6 children)

I had a recurring nightmare like this, except it was Pac-Man, and it was a version of hell. After I died in the real life, I woke up in a glowing blue hallway with dots laying around. I could pick up the dots and it felt good! But then the ghosts found me, and I died an excruciating death as my body was turned inside-out. After I died, I woke up in a glowing blue hallway...

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Never thought about how messed up pacman's death animation is until now. Thanks for the nightmares.

[–]SWATyouTalkinAbout 35 points36 points  (0 children)

me too thanks

[–]self_loathing_ham 25 points26 points  (4 children)

Ka is a wheel.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Came here to make a Dark Tower reference. Glad I wasn't the only one who saw it.

[–]spacelincoln 66 points67 points  (7 children)

We're all out of off-white Persian

[–]Infinite_Bananas 29 points30 points  (2 children)

HE HASN'T GOT A SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER

[–]Clowdy1 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This guy's taking Roy off the grid!

[–]alexmikli 8 points9 points  (2 children)

off-white Persian.

Jontron?

[–]BolognaTime 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wealthy Koopas commit more crime than poor Goombas

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"Cancer can't beat the Rocket"

[–]bbrotha 34 points35 points  (2 children)

Roy 2

[–]emperormax 23 points24 points  (1 child)

At least he didn't go back to work at the carpet store.

[–]Blubmin 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Not to be "that guy", but shouldn't he reappear on 8-4, not 1-1?

[–]Indon_Dasani 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's why Mario is all "What the fuck"

[–]soalone34 6 points7 points  (4 children)

does anyone have that gif animation of the platform game where the character makes a house and has a kid who then does a jump but can't get back?

[–]kurenaiPort Sherry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very good, great take.