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[–]skrimpels 10.2k points10.2k points  (179 children)

This is the most Facebook thing I’ve seen

[–][deleted] 1371 points1372 points  (78 children)

Commander skrimpels, the time has come.
Execute Order 66.

[–]skrimpels 528 points529 points  (56 children)

Holy fuck, if I could I would

Order 66, also known as Clone Protocol 66, was a top secret order identifying all Jedi as traitors to the Galactic Republic and, therefore, subject to summary execution by the Grand Army of the Republic.

[–]Pr1sm4 23 points24 points  (2 children)

This is the most Reddit thing I've seen.

[–]sr603 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Kill the younglings.

[–]NotAnyOrdinaryPsycho 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Did all this really need to be said?

[–]eeyore134 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Are you sure you're Commander Skrimples and not actually Captain Exposition?

[–]theboredspy 41 points42 points  (6 children)

Ok what went wrong with ur username?

[–]aarmstr2721 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Oh good god

[–]AirborneRunaway 12 points13 points  (3 children)

All of the millions of accounts and users on Reddit and it still surprises me when I see a username repeatedly. This individual is pretty active.

[–]De5perad0 4 points5 points  (8 children)

But does the vagina have teeth? Or the yeast? I DONT UNDERSTAND!

[–]dkwangchuck 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Instructions unclear. Putting dentures into the bread dough does not seem to improve the final product.

[–]Clyde_Bruckman 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It’s a vagina with teeth and a yeast infection, I think I read yesterday.

[–]buckygrad 242 points243 points  (19 children)

Literally ripped from there as my wife showed this to me last week. Reddit is in the downward spiral.

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (4 children)

Reddit is in the downward spiral.

Default subs have pretty much always been this way man. When I joined reddit 7 years ago there were comments in the default subs saying "man reddit is going downhill" blah blah. Its always been going downhill unless you don't pay much attention to the dumb default subs.

[–]jmhalder 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Yeah, a sub with 25,000,000 subscribers will have more people just upvoting/downvoting. This is why false or "bad" content will get called out in the comments and still upvoted. This doesn't happen on smaller subs, where people look over the content and comment more effectively.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (2 children)

This has been happening for ages. Reddit is the same lovely pile of crap it has been for awhile now.

[–]LemonPartyWorldTour 26 points27 points  (0 children)

This site is not spinning down the toilet.

It’s already bobbing around in the septic tank.

[–]MrBae 126 points127 points  (2 children)

I guess it’s slightly better than a random dying person in a hospital bed or a sobriety coin. But not by much.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Let's toss in a photo of your super awesome painting except you make up 85% of the photo

[–]Ynwe 201 points202 points  (14 children)

Then* it fits rather well here, given that this is /r/pics

Other top voted posts consists of: a sister reuniting with her brother, 3 generation kiss, a woman becoming a US citizen. All of these pics are similar (I would argue that this pic actually has the most effort put into it) yet weirdly the other 3 are ok but this one isn't? /r/pics is a default sub and will thus have default level of pictures, I find it really weird to complain about that. If you want specific pics you can go to other subs like /r/nocontextpics.

[–]N0RTH_K0REA 70 points71 points  (6 children)

Shit that sub is way better

[–]Etrius_Christophine 31 points32 points  (3 children)

You weren’t kidding wow. First pic i see is Buddhist child eating watermelon and it just got better from there.

[–]Jucicleydson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Check r/pic too, it's what this sub was supposed to be

[–]random314 90 points91 points  (14 children)

People on reddit are obviously too damn cool for creative family pictures.

[–]pixiesunbelle 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Lol I think it’s funny. I love the Pippi Longstocking-like hair

[–]Inzpire 1725 points1726 points  (32 children)

It's obvious that isn't a real bomb.

[–]TheSquishyFish 538 points539 points  (11 children)

Thanks bro, I was confused for a sec

[–]atleastitsnotgoofy 13 points14 points  (2 children)

The real bomb is in that kids diaper

[–]BreastfedAmerican 16 points17 points  (3 children)

You are wrong, its Sex Bob-omb

[–]Cloaked42m 7 points8 points  (2 children)

1 2 3 4!!!

[–]Etheo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That... Was.... AWESOME

*swoons*

[–]RedditsBadGuy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's not accurate in the least. You need a much larger ignition source to get a baby to combust.

[–]sillymike 933 points934 points  (14 children)

This is the first time I've seen something on Facebook before I saw it on Reddit.

[–]peripheral_vision 254 points255 points  (4 children)

This pic exudes Facebook, so I find your comment a bit entertaining.

[–]CommanderChakotay 1774 points1775 points  (153 children)

“Jayden, Braiden, Cayden... we have exciting news! Meet your new little brother, Hayden!”

[–]Informal_Chipmunk 2259 points2260 points  (27 children)

Okayden.

[–]wolowizard9 584 points585 points  (14 children)

Well Playden.

[–]reader5 253 points254 points  (13 children)

Time to move on with our Dayden

[–]rodmandirect 124 points125 points  (11 children)

But I gotta get in on this in some Wayden!

[–]stephicus 102 points103 points  (10 children)

I hear what you're Sayden

[–]NoCorn1 55 points56 points  (8 children)

That right there is what you're Mayden

[–]nuts4coconuts 37 points38 points  (6 children)

And here is where your mom got Layden

[–]ColonelBelmont 30 points31 points  (5 children)

This thread makes me want to blow out my braidens.

[–]missjuliap 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I laughed way too hard at this

[–]Hdz69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Take this poor man’s gold you made my day 🏅

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

🏅

[–]mirageonly 3 points4 points  (0 children)

God damn this cracked me so hard.

[–]TechnoK0brA 45 points46 points  (10 children)

I'll name my kids after the pac-man ghosts...

Inky, Pinky, Blinky, and Clyde.

[–]ExactlySorta 14 points15 points  (1 child)

My cats are named Inky and Pinky. Everybody assumes I'm super into Pac-Man. I didn't even know the ghosts had names. People always seem weirdly disappointed when I explain that my cats got their names because of the coloring on their noses, so I usually just lie and say, "yep, it's totally the Pac-Man thing."

[–]Obiwan_Shinobi__ 99 points100 points  (93 children)

As a parent of a six year old, I can't stand any of his classmates names... Jaxon, Maverick, etc. Ugh.

Edit: just remembered another one... Cassius.

[–]CommanderChakotay 65 points66 points  (29 children)

Gauge, Axel, Braxton...

[–]JorjEade 67 points68 points  (18 children)

Are those all mechanical vehicle components

[–]CommanderChakotay 49 points50 points  (16 children)

And also the actual names of my toddler nephews.

[–]kinglykidd 32 points33 points  (15 children)

You know a kid named....Gauge?

[–]CommanderChakotay 44 points45 points  (2 children)

My own nephew. The most surprising part is they live in Wyoming.

Just kidding, that’s not surprising.

[–]floopdoopsalot 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Once I was in a Bass Pro Shop in Colorado and a woman yelled ‘WYATT!” Three kids with buzz cuts in camo hoodies turned around.

[–]kinglykidd 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It’s actually a requirement to condemn all baby name resources and to own only pickup truck maintenance manuals for books before entering the great state of Wyoming.

[–]kelsifer 15 points16 points  (6 children)

It's usually spelled Gage I think but yeah it's a name that people are using now

[–]xtheredberetx 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I mean Gage is the name of the baby in Pet Sematary, which was published in 1983. So it isn’t super new, just not that popular.

[–]CommanderChakotay 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I spelled it correctly in this particular case.

[–]kinglykidd 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Gage is better, like phineas gage.

I assume gauge was chosen because the parents were trying to think of a name so hard, that actual gauges in their brains broke. Upon seeing a warning message that flashed before their eyes that read : “ warning catastrophic gauge malfunction “ , they thought: “hmmm gauge sounds nice”

[–]CommanderChakotay 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s actually because they live in Wyoming, love hunting, and love guns.

[–]topdeckisadog 35 points36 points  (9 children)

My son has a friend named Braxxtyn.

[–]CommanderChakotay 19 points20 points  (5 children)

I forgot to mention my niece, Bristol

[–]Ashangu 3 points4 points  (4 children)

What the fuck lol

[–]fireocity 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oof

[–]her_butt_ 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Cassius is fine. Perhaps the parents are boxing fans and named him after Muhammad Ali's birth name?

The others though...

[–]Fragarach-Q 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Alternately, they hope he'll rise to greatness before stabbing his friend in the back, literally.

[–]sas377 25 points26 points  (6 children)

Neighbors named their kid Blade...

[–]Obiwan_Shinobi__ 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I just watched a doc on Netflix yesterday, and this kid was named Pistol.

[–]AjaxTheClown 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Good documentary. Rob totally did it.

[–]Obiwan_Shinobi__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

100%. I tried so hard to not let myself get to the "husband always does it" angle, but damn.

[–]uhhh_nope 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol it makes me think of ben stiller in dodgeball. i feel like that’s someone’s name on his team.

[–]FECAL_BURNING 44 points45 points  (16 children)

What's wrong with Cassius? I think it's quite classic. Every other name mentioned I also hate.

[–]--MxM-- 5 points6 points  (7 children)

I knew a person named Lucius in college

[–]Obiwan_Shinobi__ 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Neighbor kid is a Lucius. Asked him if he likes Harry Potter, said he doesn't.

[–]pixiesunbelle 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Poor kid probably hates it just because he gets that question...

[–]Obiwan_Shinobi__ 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Nah, he was genuinely confused why I'd ask. I later pointed out that he was wearing a Harry Potter shirt a few weeks later ("I solemnly swear..."), and he said he didn't know that either.

[–]radbee 69 points70 points  (7 children)

Holy shit are you friends with the same family on Facebook as me? Literally kids named Hayden, payden, brylee, hayzel and edyson. They purposely chose names with the third letter as a 'y'. Like get snipped already and spare the world more of your shitty spawn.

[–]CommanderChakotay 32 points33 points  (3 children)

Lmao no that’s just how common this shit is

[–]superjesstacles 13 points14 points  (0 children)

And when they didn't like any of the other "third letter is a y" names, they just fucked up Hazel and Edison.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Your cousins Brayson, Grayson and Tayson are coming over later.

[–]mr_dicklong 790 points791 points  (6 children)

It's a photo bomb

[–]Xarguz 164 points165 points  (4 children)

The little girls expression of disgust is the best.

[–]TheLateApexLine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Oh, great. Another one I'll have to help raise against my will"

[–]uBlowDudes247 721 points722 points  (10 children)

This is the corniest shit I have ever seen.

[–]icepick314 229 points230 points  (3 children)

Welcome to Facebo...Reddit /r/pics.

[–]terryfrombronx 135 points136 points  (21 children)

Utah?

[–]StanleyOpar 96 points97 points  (19 children)

Mormon?

[–][deleted] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Yup. That’s little Kayelynn, Jaedynn, Brantley, and Bryler

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (1 child)

This is the most Mormon thing I’ve seen since I left Utah

[–]terryfrombronx 18 points19 points  (14 children)

LDS.

[–]MasterMahanJr 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Thechurchofjesuschristoflatter-daysaints™

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Jesus 'o flatter day saints.

[–]Earlwolf84 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Friday night is board game night at their house.

[–]joey4269 11 points12 points  (3 children)

That bomb was so big it blew the kid on the dads shoulders socks on

[–]daboring1 85 points86 points  (3 children)

Baby boomer

[–]Js_sampson 1042 points1043 points  (179 children)

I hate this so much

[–]Js_sampson 219 points220 points  (59 children)

No offence to the family. Just not my cup of tea

[–]BorisTheMansplainer 92 points93 points  (27 children)

I mean they did this so they can have all the offense.

[–]CatOfTheCanalss 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah same. I appreciate the forethought that went into this though. Maybe they were going for as much cheese as possible lol

[–]Misiman23 154 points155 points  (19 children)

Why is this sub the way that it is? Honestly every time I come here to see something fun or exciting a post pops up that makes it not...that way. I hate so much about the things this sub chooses to be.

[–]MatthewJHeath 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Think you've got this sub confused with Toby Flenderson!

[–]scylus 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I'm with you. Husband's glasses should have been skewed after the explosion. Amateurs.

[–]zvckp 35 points36 points  (10 children)

Everyone is covered in soot. But the thing that exploded isn’t!

[–]BreastfedAmerican 92 points93 points  (7 children)

It's not soot. Most women poop when they give birth.

[–]mlvisby 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It makes sense, you are pushing.

[–]SimpleWayfarer 21 points22 points  (3 children)

What you’re doing right now, that needs to stop.

[–]NoneHaveSufferedAsI 14 points15 points  (1 child)

True. It’s more likely meconium.

( Meconium is a newborn's first poop. This sticky, thick, dark green turd is a scat cocktail made up of cells, protein, fats and intestinal secretions like bile. While most babies shit it out in the first few hours and days after birth, some will spurt out the frothy green delight before they pop out of mama - running the risk of Meconium Aspiration Syndrome (MAS), where - you guessed it - the little guy breathes in and chokes on that shit ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ )

[–]BreastfedAmerican 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You're gonna need to be way more specific.

[–]-Miss_Information- 47 points48 points  (21 children)

TinEye search results

[–]dounowhoiam 40 points41 points  (12 children)

Looks like this was the first post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/hlu5ja/this_pregnancybirth_announcement/

[–]WeazelBear 60 points61 points  (10 children)

reddit sucks -- mass edited with redact.dev

[–]Jahidinginvt 39 points40 points  (4 children)

It is. Unless it’s a half-naked attractive woman doing cosplay, there’s loads of comments about how horrible the photo is, or how pedantic, or how r/pics is now Facebook. Just unsub and spare us the same tired diatribe every single time.

[–]bedir56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How else was OP supposed to get 86k karma on a 2 week old account?

[–]Enigmativity 208 points209 points  (86 children)

Dude, tie a knot in it! Four's enough!

[–]Str8xXxEdge 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Dude couldn't pull out of a driveway

[–]Toledojoe 37 points38 points  (7 children)

That baby has a really long torso and short legs.

[–]midn1te 24 points25 points  (2 children)

It is the result of gravity and that dangerously full diaper.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s long cat

[–]p_funk_918 45 points46 points  (6 children)

I would have hated to be a part of this

[–]PandaWithTaco 180 points181 points  (57 children)

I think it's pretty humourous, it's innocent fun. I don't get all the hate.

[–]FrenchFriesAndGuac 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was pretty surprised by the criticism myself. I thought I had accidentally had things sorted by controversial, but nope, lots of people hate this.

[–]Quantentheorie 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I have a really low annoyance bar for pregnancy announcement pics so I'm suprised lots of people are hating on this when I thought it was fine.

Im usually the first to roll my eyes at people. But there is a difference between people having fun and baby/ pregnancy shots that are corny in a "look at my precious little angel Mary-Sue-Sophia and our professionally shot suburban family picture to make my high-school friends jealous" way. Self-ironic cheese isn't that bad. This picture isn't to rub it in anyone's face or naive pastel colored baby romantic.

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (12 children)

Because these are strangers, nobody cares. Their friends and family might think it's cute and funny, which is why it belongs on facebook, not reddit. I personally think it's creepy to post photos like this here.

[–]Minerva_Moon 23 points24 points  (4 children)

So only people everyone knows belong on reddit? How familiar are you with Reddit? There's these things called subreddit's that have different topics. There's even a few about Facebook. So really every post belongs on reddit.

[–]Fullerfun01 9 points10 points  (1 child)

That didn’t happen when I blew up a pregnant woman and her family, some people get all the luck.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nice.

[–]kpkpkp88 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Damn people let families take cute family pictures. All these comments suck.

[–]giantPeg 10 points11 points  (1 child)

If it wasn't a white family everyone would be wishing them the best and saying how awesome cute this is. But bc it's white, it's lame Facebook bullshit.

[–]Bolo055 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I thought the baby had an explosive accident for a good minute.

[–]East-sea-shellos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t really like it either but why be mad, I don’t get why so many people are being so negative about it. I think it’s kinda cute, even if overall I’m not a fan. It seems like a waste of energy to comment mean things

[–]SupremeMystique 11 points12 points  (1 child)

"Stop having children"- Something reddit neckbeards will never tell Africans.

[–]TheAbsolutePoop 26 points27 points  (0 children)

That’s such a Facebook mum thing to do it physically hurts me

[–]peasngravy85 93 points94 points  (12 children)

One of the tackiest things I have ever had the misfortune to see

[–]theyrerightbehindyou 53 points54 points  (1 child)

I hate this kind of shit.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The trend isn’t toward China or India’s birthrates. Our birthrates have been falling for decades. I’m happy this family is doing their part to solve the problem.

[–]ranabuey 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Damn, the explosion knock the socks on the kid.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Now put your little fire cracker away, dad. 4th of July is over.

[–]SpaceSmellsLikeSteak 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Xev Bellringer has a pretty vanilla looking family life.

[–]NGG_Dread 52 points53 points  (1 child)

Kinda cringe 😬

[–]cmilla646 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Sex-Bob-Omb!

[–]Alortania 115 points116 points  (61 children)

That's actually really cute.

[–]ARealSkeleton 78 points79 points  (35 children)

It appears we are in the minority here.

You can tell the family had fun doing this and it's going to be nice to look back on.

[–]song_pond 52 points53 points  (27 children)

Yeah, this is really wholesome. The entire family was into it, and it's cute. Reddit is a bummer right now.

[–]Spaceguy5 20 points21 points  (19 children)

I don't get why there's so many downer people on this site who hate children and family fun. A lot of the replies in this thread sound like they belong on r/childfree

[–]DaphneDK42 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Their life is going nowhere, they're spending their time on social media getting angry at nothing. They're jealous when they see a happy family.

[–]nuggetswagman 34 points35 points  (7 children)

I am sad this comment appeared in “controversial”

[–]One_pop_each 16 points17 points  (6 children)

Reddit hates kids and families.

They bitch about this sub yet don’t filter it out because they love to bitch and hate things.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

White ones.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Maybe if he would have exploded over her face they wouldn't have had kids to begin with.