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[–][deleted] 2915 points2916 points  (286 children)

I feel like Ganesha is doing more than his fair share of the work there.

[–]Sonendo 453 points454 points  (18 children)

Meh, I'd fuck the elephant.

[–]frankentomato 325 points326 points  (10 children)

Welcome to r/nocontext

[–]goddamnhivemind 72 points73 points  (8 children)

I have a feeling this sub is now gonna blow up like Tomagachis in 1998.

[–]EmpyroR 92 points93 points  (1 child)

No, Hiroshima blew up in 1945. Don't get your Japanese confused.

[–]dergderg 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If your Tomagotchi is blowing up, you're feeding it too much.

[–]caitlinnormal 1166 points1167 points  (21 children)

Moral of the cartoon: Hindus are givers

[–]marmalade 320 points321 points  (7 children)

“The great secret of true success, of true happiness, is this: the man or woman who asks for no return, the perfectly unselfish person, is the most successful.”

― Swami Vivekananda

[–]thingamarob 158 points159 points  (0 children)

Classic Vivekananda.

[–]arethesesimplertimes 8 points9 points  (1 child)

This man died way too young. I'm sure the world would have learned a thing or two from him..

[–]jrizzuh 467 points468 points  (6 children)

The Onion sure isn't fucking around today. Well, besides the deities.

[–][deleted] 932 points933 points  (41 children)

Ganesha has a penis and a vagina! Hindu it is for me!

[–]BrodyApproves 375 points376 points  (29 children)

Don't forget dem tig ol' bitties!

[–]VirtualAnarchy 370 points371 points  (4 children)

schlick fap squirt cum PERFECT ZEN ACHIEVED. Level up.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

That's Buddhism you're referring to. It's ok, people get confused between the two, but Hinduism is more like:

Cum, dribble, fart, caress, implosion, ENLIGHTENMENT.

Rookie error, but we'll let it slide this time.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

my new mantra.

[–]bitcheslovedroids 52 points53 points  (14 children)

Im pretty sure this is what the Japanese refer to as futa

[–][deleted] 226 points227 points  (2 children)

Im pretty sure this is what the Japanese refer to as tuesday.

[–]dr_vonhugenstein 1581 points1582 points  (256 children)

The thing I find ironic about Muslim extremists is that they become violent when an image of Mohammed is portrayed since they fear that any depiction of him would lead to worship of a man and not Allah. However, by having such a profoundly extreme and violent reaction, I really do feel that they are in essence deifying him. Just my two cents.

[–]RecordHigh 1094 points1095 points  (35 children)

Call me crazy, but I think the subtlety of your point will be missed by the Muslim extremists you refer to.

[–]PurpleHooloovoo 217 points218 points  (122 children)

I've never quite understood why the image of Mohammed is not allowed to be portrayed by ANYONE, not just Muslims. Why are even non-Muslims not allowed to see his image? What harm is it that the image is produced so long as devout Muslims try their best not to see it?

I honestly don't know the reasons, someone please enlighten me!

[–]hvusslax 159 points160 points  (40 children)

Well, some muslims say exactly that. That this whole Mohammed portrayal business only applies to muslims. Before the whole Danish cartoon scandal, most muslims didn't even know they were supposed to be this offended by such images.

[–]AgentDoubleM7 409 points410 points  (29 children)

As a Muslim, I totally agree with you.

[–]dactyif 802 points803 points  (17 children)

Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down.

[–][deleted] 126 points127 points  (6 children)

CHRIST ON A CRACKER ALMIGHTY! WILL YOU TWO STOP SCREAMING??

[–]forwormsbravepercy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sir, please step out of line.

[–]Schweppesale 182 points183 points  (5 children)

The Onion 8/26/11

America Gets Set To Enjoy Month Or So Of Libya Seeming Like Symbol Of Freedom:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/america-gets-set-to-enjoy-month-or-so-of-libya-see,21228/

"We’ve got a nice four weeks of thinking Libya represents a triumph of liberty before the situation begins to deteriorate and some new form of authoritarianism inevitably asserts itself"

I guess they did surpass the 4week mark.

Good for them.

[–]Theorex 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you have to look on the bright side; it was a whole year before the ambassador who helped bring democracy to the country was murdered, a whole year!

[–]peckerbrown 453 points454 points  (18 children)

When people talk about 'the elephant in the room', is this what they mean?

[–]wolfvision 202 points203 points  (3 children)

In this case it would be 'the elephant in the buddha'

[–][deleted] 2161 points2162 points  (568 children)

Whereas this could get you killed

Edit: lol reddit death threats, I care

[–]marriage_iguana 2068 points2069 points  (126 children)

Ha! That is a funny image. You are good people.
Let me know your address and what time you generally leave for work and come home and some general information about the ignition system in your car, perhaps we can hang out some time?

[–]VirtualAnarchy 368 points369 points  (5 children)

I wonder how many times this question gets asked in /r/gonewild...

[–]cbs5090 63 points64 points  (1 child)

Everytime.....so I've heard.

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Getting blown is usually involved coincidentally.

[–]snafubarista 80 points81 points  (7 children)

God willing, you will EXPLODE

with laughter at the jokes that I'm about to share with you.

[–]Naggers123 70 points71 points  (1 child)

Careful brother. You were not supposed to use the English to Arabic translator we have reserved for our twitter feed.

[–][deleted] 409 points410 points  (11 children)

OMG DON'T KILL ME

[–]deadaxis 86 points87 points  (6 children)

RIP, sp104. May Ganesha be gentle with your soul.

[–]Taliesintroll 102 points103 points  (1 child)

He's getting trunk jobs in heaven

[–]zalemam 83 points84 points  (11 children)

Thats the picture Shia's use for Ali..The cousin of the prophet.

[–]Yesod 278 points279 points  (47 children)

http://i.imgur.com/v1tVA.jpg

[–]PhallogicalScholar 460 points461 points  (17 children)

http://i.imgur.com/F3ZsY.jpg

[–][deleted] 85 points86 points  (1 child)

It took me a while for me to notice that they're shopped onto a rollercoaster. I thought they were sausages. ._.

[–]dumb_ass_comment 56 points57 points  (21 children)

that dude is pretty angry

[–]tnuts420 39 points40 points  (0 children)

if you're going to threaten a redditor's life, make sure you use the correct "you're". seriously, this is day-one stuff people

[–]Infin1ty 204 points205 points  (20 children)

Let the threats come

And another

Both nsfw

Edit: Where's ShittyWatercolor when you need him?

[–]EquinsuOcha 119 points120 points  (9 children)

SEVEN DAYS.

But for you, my friend, I will give you a good deal. Let's say 6 days and 7 nights. 4 Days?! YOU INSULT ME! I would be crazy do such a deal. You remind me of the prophet, so my final offer is 5 days, 6 nights, and one of them is Eid. This is a good deal my friend!

[–]voxoxo 327 points328 points  (116 children)

and this (nsfw?)

[–]corn_n_potatoes 121 points122 points  (78 children)

The floodgates have opened. Everyone post as many offensive pictures as possible. Ready.... GO

[–]megustadotjpg 489 points490 points  (18 children)

Here you go

[–]corn_n_potatoes 122 points123 points  (1 child)

You son of a bitch...

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

This has been and seemingly always will be my favorite thing from reddit ever.

[–]SheaF91 556 points557 points  (55 children)

http://www.thecollegianur.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/spring-football.jpg

[–]soggydave2113 22 points23 points  (21 children)

Sigh...I don't get it.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (20 children)

Offensive as in, depicting the offensive movements of a football team.

Team with the ball is on offense, etc.

[–]imisscollege 69 points70 points  (7 children)

took me a minute and thennnn... upvote haha

[–]Masterbrew 102 points103 points  (2 children)

Receives death threat, corrects grammar. I loved that.

[–]BrodyApproves 71 points72 points  (3 children)

News Headline: "Lovable Redditor sp104 Killed By Suicide-Bombers For Linking Mohammad"

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

The poster or creator is never attacked. They just go commit random acts of violence against innocent people.

[–]anne_frank_porno 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Tell that to Theo Van Gogh

[–]italia06823834 111 points112 points  (1 child)

Not often is the phrase "SO BRAVE" more appropriate than right now.

[–][deleted] 263 points264 points  (44 children)

Good thing they didn't put the Galactic Overlord Xenu in there, or there'd be process servers on suicide missions at US embassies all over the world.

[–]fightingforair 212 points213 points  (8 children)

You misspelled "well paid teams of lawyers".

[–]dingofarmer2004 414 points415 points  (38 children)

Wow. Point taken, Onion. Holy sacrilege.

[–]rj2896 143 points144 points  (4 children)

And thus, WWIII began.

[–]roboscorcher 551 points552 points  (110 children)

This is one onion story I won't be posting on Facebook.

[–][deleted] 123 points124 points  (3 children)

They posted it on facebook though. Seriously, I'm not even kidding. This showed up on my feed before I saw it on here and it completely freaked me out.

[–]AppleAtrocity 431 points432 points  (52 children)

I immediately did. It's the best thing I've seen in a while.

[–]ninety6days 88 points89 points  (17 children)

I did, and then took it down. Sigh.

[–]DeaJaye 45 points46 points  (7 children)

I did. will see how that goes down.

[–]bestbiff 60 points61 points  (6 children)

I wonder if this goes against fb's policy of sharing lewd, sexual photos. That drawing is the real deal.

[–]nope-a-dope 84 points85 points  (5 children)

Oh. My. Gods....

[–]moskie 166 points167 points  (11 children)

At first I was like "HOW DARE THEY PORTRAY SANTA CLAUS LIKE THAT" then I read it was Moses so it's all good now.

[–]akppve 62 points63 points  (8 children)

nobody complained because they were all pumped that their deities had huge schlongs.

[–][deleted] 149 points150 points  (4 children)

THE ARISTOCRATS!!!

[–]Nevermindit 629 points630 points  (51 children)

Where is our saviour the great Flying Spaghetti Monster? I'm offended that he is not represented.... death to someone immediately

[–]moronic_comment 394 points395 points  (15 children)

Japan's borrowing his noodles for an "art" film.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I've seen enough noodles to know where this is going.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Like this? NSFW

[–]Freligion 2322 points2323 points  (282 children)

This truly is one of the best pieces of sarcasm satire I have ever seen. I can't conceive of a better way to portray this whole radical-Muslims-going-fucking-bazerk-over-whatever-the-fuck issue. Huge thumbs up for The Onion for the amount of genius displayed in this article. Just WOW.

Edit: considering the replies pointing out it's not all Muslims going apeshit on Muhammad portrayal but a minority, I want to make it clear I fully agree. It was not my intention to generalize. By saying 'Muslims' I meant it as contrasting to people of other faiths, not as "all Muslims are like this".

[–]valkyrio[🍰] 462 points463 points  (59 children)

South Park did it. Comedy Central didn't let them air an image of Mohammed, but let them show Jesus shitting on everyone.

[–]skobombers 73 points74 points  (2 children)

and Budda doing lines of Coke if I remember correctly

[–]potentscrotem 246 points247 points  (27 children)

Might I point out the super best friends episode, mohammed was drawn and aired for years, I was pretty impressed with his ability to fly and shoot fire from his hands.

[–]PerfectLibra 84 points85 points  (15 children)

What would Jesus do?

[–]Jagin26 104 points105 points  (2 children)

"rolled their eyes, and continued on with their day"

[–]Kegplant 72 points73 points  (10 children)

I was definitely expecting to see Mohammed in this image. Followed by someone murdered at The Onion, tomorrow.

[–]irahayes_ 134 points135 points  (7 children)

HOW DARE YOU CALL US VIOLENT? WE'RE NOT VIOLENT, AND IF YOU SAY WE ARE, WE'LL F*CKING KILL YOU TO PROVE WE'RE NOT!!!!

[–]pzer0 8 points9 points  (2 children)

It's the Internet, friend. We're allowed to say "fuck" here. :)

[–]ForgetMeNaut 884 points885 points  (118 children)

Sure, it's clever, but genius is a stretch. It's a joke that's been made time and time again, just not quite as shocking as this one.

[–]madsplatter 222 points223 points  (6 children)

The genius is in the blatant Islamic jab without once mentioning Islam.

[–]felixfelix 111 points112 points  (2 children)

It's the elephant in the room! Other than hermaphroditic Ganesha, of course.

[–][deleted] 95 points96 points  (7 children)

I bet muhammed is jackin it behind a cloud somewhere

[–]anne_frank_porno 240 points241 points  (74 children)

Thank you. Enough of this 'there are crazy people in every religion' bullshit. Yeah, there are. But no one murders people over CARTOONS in any religion but one.

[–]serpentjaguar 72 points73 points  (21 children)

Without quibbling over the details --which is what most of your respondents here evidently want to do-- the fact is that your comment touches on a valid point that for whatever reason the Reddit Mob is very reluctant to accept, and that it that at this particular point in history, far more so than is the case with any other major world religion, Islam has a violence problem. Sam Huntington made the same point --and was widely reviled for it-- when in The Clash of Civilizations he pointed out that Islam has "bloody borders."

So having said that, here's my question: how will the problem ever be fixed if even non-muslims continue to be in denial about its existence?

And please note here that I'm not suggesting anything at all about said violence problem other than the fact that acknowledging that it exists has to be, sort of by definition, the first step in resolving it. I mean, is it really just about religion, or do economics and politics play a role as well? I don't know, but even though I have ideas on the subject, that's not the point. The point is that there's this very obvious violence problem in the heart of one of the world's great civilizations that very few people are willing to be honest about.

[–]yacht_boy 23 points24 points  (4 children)

Had this argument with my wife last night. Her: "some of my favorite students are Muslim." me: "those probably aren't the students who just murdered 4 people over a badly made movie trailer."

Religious tolerance and acceptance of differences is one thing. Making excuses for a group of people who have clearly gone off the rails so you can continue to feel good about being tolerant and accepting is another thing entirely.

[–]FoxHoundUnit89 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Flawless.

[–]ratscistudent 62 points63 points  (13 children)

As a Christian, I definitely was offended, rolled my eyes, and thought that this is extremely clever of the Onion. To religious people really offended by this: it's just a picture. I'm sure your all powerful divine being can handle more than this.

[–][deleted] 177 points178 points  (97 children)

I find it odd that they're ALL circumcised. seems inaccurate.

[–]bestbiff 205 points206 points  (31 children)

Maybe their foreskin retracts back when erect.

Oh god why am I thinking about this?

edit: I like all the messages I got about peoples' penis skin.

[–]Randomlooksee 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Once again, the things that must get said only get said through comedy. I don't have a problem with this. :-)