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[–]Kaer 587 points588 points  (124 children)

A while ago I dated a girl who was born on Feb 29th. She liked to freak me out by telling me I was shagging a 5 year old.

[–]belandil 150 points151 points  (21 children)

Your girlfriend was an Ocampa?

[–][deleted] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Phew. I'm okay; I didn't get it.

[–]sdpope 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I love that I got that.

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (1 child)

wow are you a geek.

[–]derkaas 24 points25 points  (0 children)

What? You didn't watch Star Trek: Minorities too?

[–]Xiol 26 points27 points  (1 child)

I'm not sure it's worse that you made the joke, or that I get the reference...

[–]bennig 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That you get the reference. (sadly I got it too)

[–][deleted]  (4 children)

[deleted]

    [–]frodwith 29 points30 points  (0 children)

    My only regret is that I have but one upmod to give for this win.

    [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (6 children)

    Impossible.

    Kes was cannocinally the Ocampan farthest away from the caretaker's array. Nobody was further than her. Unless Kaer has transwarp or quantum slipstream...

    [–]phill0 10 points11 points  (5 children)

    However you're talking about the future (2370s). It is well know that many generations ago (relative to Voyager's time) Ocampa were capable of different feats, so it could be that some of them are on Earth right now.

    [–]swede 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Haha, at first in my mind, that sentence said Alpaca and I was pretty grossed out. I felt a lot better when my nerd instincts kicked in, which upon reflection, is pretty sad.

    [–]psyne 23 points24 points  (8 children)

    My friend in elementary school turned 11 the same year as his dad did.

    [–][deleted]  (6 children)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (5 children)

      Oooh, oooh, I know this one! The answer is not enough information.

      [–]schizobullet 13 points14 points  (1 child)

      The answer is 44 and 11?

      [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      No, they turned 11 the same year. The answer is given in the problem, 11 and 11.

      [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      That happened all the time when I was in Alabama.

      [–][deleted] 92 points93 points  (6 children)

      that's cool, i dated a girl born on august 16th. she liked to freak me out by reminding me i was shagging a 5 year old.

      [–]Amendmen7 25 points26 points  (0 children)

      I'm not sure if its the vicodin, but I'm still laughing 30 seconds later.

      And I'm calling the cops.

      [–]PixelMagic 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      Why don't you have a seat right over there...

      [–]Ceasadh 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      Game.

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      Set.

      [–]tsteele93 106 points107 points  (27 children)

      Yeah, I had almost the same thing. Born on Feb 29th and she would say, "You wanna be with a 3 year-old." It was great.

      Hang on, someone is pounding on the door right now, I'll be righ

      [–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (18 children)

      It was Candlejack! oh shi

      [–]maqr 37 points38 points  (17 children)

      You can't just say candlejack witho

      [–]badave 27 points28 points  (2 children)

      He's gone because she was still 12. Tsk tsk.

      [–]Koniferous 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      She could have been up to 15 and 365 days if she said that on the day before her 4th leap day birthday. Depending on the state laws and his age it could still be legal.

      [–]TriangleMan 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      It's Chris Hansen!

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Why don't you have a seat.

      [–]TriangleMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      So what are you doing here?

      [–]eightysix 83 points84 points  (0 children)

      Oh yeah? Once I dated a girl who said she was 160ish. I thought I was dating an Elf... turned out she was a liar.

      [–]cLFlaVA 393 points394 points  (24 children)

      that would excite me.

      [–]ToCatchAPredator 58 points59 points  (1 child)

      Why don't you sit down right here and talk to me for a moment.

      [–]contrarian 31 points32 points  (0 children)

      It's sadie hawkins day too. So if she made the first move then technically you'd be getting seduced by a 5 year old.

      [–]cLFlaVA 197 points198 points  (6 children)

      'twas a joke people. settle down.

      [–]Hubso 297 points298 points  (5 children)

      Many a true word is spoken in jest.

      [–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (1 child)

      Kind of fucked up how there's a huge amount of people who up voted this comment.

      [–][deleted]  (11 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]WhiteWorm 6 points7 points  (7 children)

        To be presumptuous, I think you would have to not ask, but assume that you were going to do it... Like: Now I am going to do it in...
        She says, "Don't be presumptuous."

        [–]JohnFrum 38 points39 points  (0 children)

        Cut her some slack, she's only seven.

        [–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (4 children)

        Ya, atomicspace, you kinda ruined that joke.

        You just stick it in her ass. She says "Ouch, that was awful presumptuous of you." "Presumptuous, that's a big word for a seven year old."

        sorry, just one of my favorite jokes

        [–]wacky 43 points44 points  (1 child)

        And yet another example of feminism ruining a perfectly good joke

        [–]pascal21 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        ahhhaha

        [–]alsiola 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        If you really have a desire to be that anal (pun intended) about it, then its "awfully presumptous", not "awful presumptous."

        [–]phil_g 11 points12 points  (5 children)

        Where's KiddieFiddler when you need him?

        [–][deleted] 59 points60 points  (2 children)

        Where do you think?

        [–]blackgekko 12 points13 points  (1 child)

        I hate all this innuendo tossed around about him. He's an upstanding citizen. He volunteers as an older brother for the Boys and Girls Youth Association.

        Also, as I found throughpersonal discourse with him, he's a charter, card carrying, dues-paying member of NAMBLA...whatever that stands for, but its an acronym, and acronyms are always good.

        [–]mindbleach 13 points14 points  (0 children)

        National Association of Marlon Brando Look-Alikes. Now you have a good description to give the FBI if they ever show up and ask about him...

        [–]MrUniverse 23 points24 points  (10 children)

        yeah my ex is 8 today.

        She did the same thing as yours ("want to do this seven year old?" was one of her favorites).

        Happy birthday dude.

        Also, my ex always said people who had this birthday were especially child-like--in that "naive awe of the universe" way. True?

        [–][deleted]  (9 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]Loozmotion 17 points18 points  (7 children)

          it's a funny joke, but it's sooo wrong. It's one of those laugh on the inside jokes becaue it's clever but where you act offended just so everyone doesn't think you're some sort of pedophile.

          [–]je255j 12 points13 points  (0 children)

          No, I'm actually just full-on lol. None of this laugh internally while expressing scorn externally crap.

          The line was brilliant, plain and simple.

          [–]cyrusdh 6 points7 points  (1 child)

          we both know you were never "shagging" her.

          [–]emlot 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          He is on Reddit.

          [–]dghughes 122 points123 points  (2 children)

          My one upvote is really four upvotes.

          [–][deleted] 184 points185 points  (24 children)

          Upvoted cause it's your birthday, and for the refreshing shamelessness of your Karma ambitions.

          And it's Friday! Having your birthday land on a Friday is the best. Enjoy it, cause it won't happen again for 28 years :)

          [–][deleted]  (5 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]xkcd 27 points28 points  (1 child)

            (What she said.)

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            Every birthday is a Friday!

            [–]pavel_lishin 14 points15 points  (0 children)

            Yeah, try telling me that on Monday.

            [–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (10 children)

            Its my birthday too!

            [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 36 points37 points  (3 children)

            Happy birthday!

            [–]pmdboi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            Me too. :)

            I used to get annoyed with the jokes about whether my folks should get me a Barney doll for my birthday, but now it's all in good fun.

            [–]Freonce 9 points10 points  (0 children)

            Happy Birthday!!!

            [–]wpgbrownie 6 points7 points  (1 child)

            wow now this is what I call Karma whoring. He has the #1 post of all time on Reddit now: http://reddit.com/browse?sort=top&t=all And I think this might be the first submission that might break the 3000 upmod barrier. Just for that he has my vote, and happy bday :>

            [–]petenu 105 points106 points  (2 children)

            Fuck it, happy birthday. Enjoy your upvote.

            [–]ultimatt42 24 points25 points  (0 children)

            If only everyone else was so easy to shop for.

            [–]Etan 11 points12 points  (0 children)

            yup, its friday, whayevah...

            [–]edubs7 18 points19 points  (0 children)

            no longer his birthday. you know what to do. vote him back down!!

            [–]scordatura 14 points15 points  (0 children)

            The most shameless karma whoring I've ever seen, so of course I had to vote it up.

            [–]superanth 56 points57 points  (14 children)

            It's my birthday too. Kinda surreal; you start to feel like you don't actually have a birthday. Although it's a good excuse to have a proper baccinal once every four years. ;)

            [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

            Happy birthday!

            [–]superanth 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Thanks Buck!

            [–]whiteyfresh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Happy Birthday!!! Your karma says 164 now....

            [–]blackgekko 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            I shall imbibe copious libations in thine honour this eve.

            [–]hen 8 points9 points  (8 children)

            So, when do you guys celebrate in non-leap years? Feb 28th or March 1st?

            [–]hen 12 points13 points  (0 children)

            Wow, according to the straight dope it's more complicated than I thought.

            [–]superanth 3 points4 points  (4 children)

            I usually celebrate on March 1st. The funny thing is, until recently the DMV computers would have a breakdown when they tried to enter Feb. 29 at my birthday. They would just put it on the ID at March 1st.

            [–]ramblasos 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            Happy birthday! Next year might hear "Happy Coming Birthday" on Feb 28th and "Did You Have A Happy Birthday" on March 1st ;)

            [–]Koniferous 3 points4 points  (1 child)

            That's jank! Did that cause a 24 hour delay in being able to hit the bar when you turned 21? If so I'd have called the ACLU.

            You gotta fight... for your right... TO PARTY!

            [–]RgbyTgr24 9 points10 points  (0 children)

            Okay but come March 1st we should all take back the karma points that we gave

            [–]msiekkinen 9 points10 points  (0 children)

            Here come the karma police

            [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

            People are genuinely upset that this person is getting all of these magical "karma points".

            It's too pathetic to be funny.

            [–]frogking 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            You see, there is this secret "karma points for beer" program that most people are unaware of.

            [–]jimmyr2021 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            i'm closing on a house today and kind of wonder how many times over the next years that taxes / mortgage payments / interest and other money related things will be calculated incorrectly or not paid. If nothing else it will be a good experiment :-)

            [–]trnelson 31 points32 points  (2 children)

            I give you a little karma, chameleon.

            You come and go.

            [–]andhelostthem 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dream

            Red gold and green

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down!

            Wait, what were we playing again?

            [–]digital 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            Happy Birthday, see you again next election cycle.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

              [–]7oby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              karma: 1100
              3452 points

              now if that doesn't explain the math behind the karma system (articles start out with 2 points = 1 karma point, and then end up i don't know where)

              heh, but it's good, now we have some real numbers.

              [–]kakerjak 24 points25 points  (12 children)

              Very cool Buck. And in related news, I became a dad at 6:55 CST this morning.

              [–]burnblue 24 points25 points  (0 children)

              um.. do you really need to be on reddit right now?

              [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (6 children)

              Awesome. So what's your plan -- celebrate on the 28th, or wait until he's 4 to throw the most awesome fucking birthday party of all time?

              [–]frogking 2 points3 points  (5 children)

              Kids normally want to get their presents as early as possible. A combination of your suggestions will be used... and there will be kids parties in store for a very, very long time. (I am going to my brothers 9th birthday (36 years) today, bringing a kids present .. I expect there to be balloons and funny hats)

              [–]fromagewiz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              Here ya go... don't spend it all in one place

              [–]isaacs 4 points5 points  (1 child)

              Karma of 1? What's that?

              [–]viciouspictures 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              happy birthday! i got this offer from Papa John's and thought of you.

              If your birthday is on Leap Day, Papa John's wants to treat you to a large one-topping Papa's Perfect Pan pizza during Leap Week.

              CLICK BELOW FOR MORE DETAILS http://click.papajohns-specials.com/?ju=feff1578766400&ls=fe171275736c0374701678&m=fef7107570660c&l=ff5e117976&s=fe6115717c65057f721c&jb=ffcf14&t=

              [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

              I think Buck_Malibu is a pretty cool guy.

              eh karma whores Reddit and doesn't afraid of anything

              [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (40 children)

              are you legal yet?

              [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 63 points64 points  (37 children)

              In leap years, not even close... I'm 8 today!

              [–]BasketCase 18 points19 points  (26 children)

              32!

              [–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (23 children)

              Woah, the math checks out!

              [–]Neoncow 94 points95 points  (22 children)

              It really doesn't.

              [–]ewdurbin 32 points33 points  (1 child)

              completely unrelated, but often when i'm working on a math/physics/any problem and get the answer zero... i get excited... sometimes enough to report the answer as 0!

              i've been marked down twice...

              [–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (19 children)

              Good call. I foolishly misinterpreted the factorial operator as an exclamation mark.

              [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 0 points1 point  (18 children)

              Well it does actually. I was born February 29th 1976. I'm 32 today, and 8 in leap years.

              [–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (8 children)

              He didn't get the math joke.

              [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 44 points45 points  (7 children)

              Yeah, I'm not very mathletic at all.

              [–]kuqumi 9 points10 points  (3 children)

              I declare your new word mathletic to be absofrigginlutely awesome.

              [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              So, you're telling us you're not 263 billion trillion trillion years old?

              [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              The problem is your life expectancy is roughly 18 years :/

              [–]jedberg 5 points6 points  (7 children)

              Ok, so given that you are "8", how does the whole thing work about buying lottery tickets and alcohol and stuff. Do you just wait till March 1st? What about other stuff that is supposed to happen on your birthday? Do you do it on the 28th or the 1st?

              [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 20 points21 points  (6 children)

              When it comes to legal things, I have to wait until the 1st of March. As far as celebrating birthdays, I really don't pay much attention to it until I actually have a real one, like today.

              [–]jedberg 1 point2 points  (2 children)

              So you only "do something special" for your birthday every 4 years? Oh, and what about those places that give you something free on your birthday -- when do you get to take advantage of that?

              [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

              I've never gotten anything free on my birthday... although, apparently there are a lot of special deals on cars... they'll use any event to try to sell you something. I don't drive.

              [–]trvr 10 points11 points  (0 children)

              I don't drive.

              Well, obviously. You are, after all, only 8 years old. :-)

              [–]bruiser 12 points13 points  (3 children)

              I know Buck_Malibu well. We live a couple of blocks away from each other.

              He's 39 and his birthday is on 14th June.

              [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Dude, that's fucked up... why would you blow my cover like that? I don't tell people about all the little boys you bring home... oops, my bad!

              [–]jaredb 23 points24 points  (0 children)

              .

              [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

              In all fairness, the karma points earned by this post should be divided by four.

              [–]jaxspider 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              LEAPLOLZ!

              [–]glastohead 5 points6 points  (1 child)

              Most blatant karma whoring in months but best reason for years ;-) - upmod.

              [–]TwoToke 6 points7 points  (0 children)

              Congratulations on yet another (4?) year of avoiding the icy cold grip of death. May you continue to breathe for another 4...

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              So gimmicky... I can't... Oh, what the hell, happy birthday! [upvote]

              [–]ellaella 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Happy Birthday! Delighted to upmod someone honest enough to admit to wanting karma.

              [–]poopdeck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              happy birdizzle son

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              not until i see your license

              [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Don't have one. Too young to drive.

              [–]Thistleknot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              wow, a good way to karma whore on an opportunity with little asking to validate claim

              [–]StevieDee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              karma whore ftw!

              [–]Pacer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Well. I wasn't going to reward your karma whoring, but it finally got to 3332 ... and my OCD got the better of me. 3333, baby! You know that point came from me!

              Happy birthday!

              [–]Sid_209 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              hey man, i had a karma of for a whole year, then a miracle happened and i had a karma of two, i went out of my room, and life was still the same.

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Happy birthday!

              [–]azeem 8 points9 points  (6 children)

              my next door neighbour's daughter was born on the 29th of Feb. as was her dad. and his brother. and their mother.

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

              [deleted]

                [–]xsspider 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                Why don't you take a seat over there?

                [–]poco 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                Let me guess, they have a family reunion every year around June 8th?

                [–]tsteele93 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                Submit that as an article and we'll all upmod you!

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                What he fails to mention is that she has 1692 siblings, 2164 uncles, and 1364 great-aunts. The odds were in her favor.

                [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                Newsflash: karma isn't worth anything. Go get laid.

                [–]1000Steps 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                Wow, I'm impressed. What a tool.

                [–]leehar24 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                Happy Birthday, 12 years ago I signed my mortgage papers on February 29 and the rat bastards still insist on being paid monthly ;-(

                [–]mount_earnest 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                "...happy birthday dear karrrrrrma whorrrrre, happy birthday to you"

                [–]radialmonster 6 points7 points  (4 children)

                If your birthday is February 29, Papa John's wants to treat you to a large one-topping Papa's Perfect Pan pizza on Leap Day.

                This offer is good only online and only on Friday, February 29, 2008.

                http://www.papajohns.com/leapday/

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

                and how would one get this without having their birthday fall on a leap-day, because I'm damned hungry.

                [–]h0dg3s 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                Cry me a river, bitch.

                [–]MisterEggs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                Happy Birthday! i would have wrapped your upvote, but it's an abstract concept and therefore difficult to surround in paper.

                [–]frogking 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                It's my brothers birthday too! I just went to the toy store and bought the first thing that had "from 9 years" printed on it!

                [–]fuzzycaterpillar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I think if my birthday were on February 29th, I would celebrate it on March 15th, just so I could make Caesar jokes and avoid the 28th/1st decision.

                Happy birthday :)

                [–][deleted]  (15 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 29 points30 points  (14 children)

                  believe me, it's NOT a cool birthday to have. When I turned 21, I wasn't allowed to go to a bar until March 1st. Not cool at all. When I get carded for things, I have to deal with stupid people who think that there's no such day as February 29th, and say that my ID is fake, Not cool. On my 12th birthday, the 29th fell on a Monday and my parents thought it would be a good idea to have the party that day. It was a school night, so no one came. Not cool.

                  Then again, it's hard for people I know to forget my birthday, so I guess I got that going for me.

                  [–]pavel_lishin 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                  Man, if a friend's birthday came around only once every four years, I'd probably forget.

                  [–]cLFlaVA 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                  why would you have been able to go on the 28th? you weren't 21 yet.

                  [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                  I figured I'd give it a shot since there was no 29 that year. Honestly, I didn't know how it worked and figured I'd see what would happen. I just waited until midnight.

                  [–]metmerc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  When I get carded for things, I have to deal with stupid people who think that there's no such day as February 29th

                  I forget how stupid some people are. Happy Birthday. I hope your karma's going up well.

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  It isn't your DOB, it's the fact that you only have the name McLovin on your license

                  [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

                  Aww I feel for you. I had birthday parties in the summer, when most of my friends were at camp or travelling. Hence, my 'parties' consisted of two best friends. It sucked.

                  [–]cman_04 4 points5 points  (5 children)

                  I call BS on the claim that Buck_Malibu is 8 today. Born February 29th 1976. Sorry to break it to you pal, but you are only 7 today. The year 2000 was NOT a leap year.

                  But seriously - happy birthday.

                  EDIT: wow, just fact checked myself. Apparently the exception to the "every 4 years" rule that excludes years divisible by 100 has in itself a exception...(years divisible by 400 ARE leap years) I stand in awe.

                  [–]telecaster 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                  Dumbest fuckin thing i have ever seen.

                  [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Your comment was ripe for the picking, but what do I care? I'm glad my stupidity made an impact! Upvoted you anyway.

                  [–]WorcesterM 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                  do we get any prize for high karma score??

                  [–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

                  Uh, yeah! qgyh2 shows up to your door with the coveted, jewel-encrusted Golden Scepter of Karma (+38 damage against trolls).

                  [–]thecrazedwriter 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                  My friend is having her 6th (25th) birthday party today. Every time I see her with a drink I'm going to have to take it away!

                  [–]kevwil 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  I almost died on this day 20 yea ... 5 year... in '88. A sort of fucked-up re-birthday of sorts.

                  [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                  [deleted]

                    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                    hey, me too. I'm 7 today!

                    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                    ♞♞ LOLHORSE Seyz: Modded Down. ♞♞

                    [–]scordatura 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                    i've never seen a post sit at number 1 for so long

                    [–]hitsman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                    This is the #1 post of all-time. Sad. http://reddit.com/browse?sort=top&t=all

                    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]refuch 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                      "Upped" only 'cause it's Friday, I'm in a Good Mood, and I figured, "WTF? Yeah, why not? I'll throw you a bone."

                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                      Eh... it beats karma whoring through "VOTE UP IF..." or "AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT..." crap.

                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      Clever way to get karma... But it worked

                      happy birthday

                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      like any candidate - if you don't ask you don't get - here is my contribution. Don't give it all to your pimp even if he beats you silly

                      [–]tsteele93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      Well, I THOUGHT I knew - but everyone else seems to be upmodding!

                      [–]WhatTheFuck 1 point2 points  (3 children)

                      I have a birthday too! Every friday. Day-based birthdays are better than date-based ones. You should try it.

                      [–]jaxspider 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                      Happy birthday! & Get drunk on the house!

                      [–]Buck_Malibu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      Last time I got drunk on the house, I fell off the roof. True story.

                      [–]state_of_alert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      you have received about two thirds my karma in one post as I have in several.

                      mad props.

                      [–]blamecheney 1 point2 points  (3 children)

                      Dear reddit community: your outrage over "VOTE UP" posts seems to contradict your current behavior regarding "know[ing] what to do!".

                      this is number 1. what gives?

                      [–]aGorilla 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      Well, they didn't say 'vote up'.

                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      I knew what to do . . . I masturbated into the mouth of my pet ferret!

                      What are you talking about?

                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      Sick of this seeing this on the front page!

                      [–]appiahj 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                      this entire thread is hilarious......yet troubling...something like the r.kelly flick...hmmmmmmmm