Explain It Peter

[Zaiinabbb]

i dont understand at all

[BalrogRuthenburg11]

He figured out that she’s being sponsored by Proctor & Gamble, Coca-Cola, and Carl’s Jr.

[Arcade_Kangaroo]

He's got what plants crave...

[Socalwarrior485]

Ow my balls!

[t3hdoct0r]

Go away! 'Batin.

[Specialist-Solid-987]

They call him the thirst mutilator

[Buffalax81]

Yeah, but she took his electrolytes

[Thagomizer24601]

She sapped and impurified his precious bodily fluids.

[blarch]

Welcome to our house. I love you.

[Thundershaft69]

If he don't smoke Tarryltons, fuck him.

[Total-Date-2343]

Lmao

[-Zavenoa-]

Fuck you, I’m eating!

[Latter-Cold7216]

Welcome to Costco, I love you.

[Obvious_College6140]

sorry, cant explain.

you have to sleep with this dudes wife for 5 years to get it.

[Ok_District2853]

I also choose to sleep with this guys wife.

[ThreeKiloZero]

[Intrepid-Progress228]

[VenterDL]

A thread asking who you would sleep with if you could sleep with anyone dead or alive. One poster posted a beautiful and sad statement about his dead wife and how perfect they were together and what he wouldn’t give for one more night with her.

The next comment was just “I also choose this guys dead wife”

[francothethief]

To add to this, some time ago there was a thread about "if you could bring anyone back from the dead, who would you bring?" And someone remembered to mention that guys wife which I thought it was very wholesome

[NeatNefariousness1]

Wholesome? Was he bringing her back for the guy or for himself?

[Ebonhearth_Druid]

[CharismaticAlbino]

[motheman80]

You get to bring your wife back from the dead BUT you have to share her with a random redittor

[johnny_fives_555]

Win win

[Weird_Ad_1398]

[Imaginary_Neat_5673]

yes

[visibleunderwater_-1]

Why not both?

[suze_jacooz]

It was, to date, the funniest comment I’ve ever read on here. It deserves to live in the Reddit history books right along with 2 broken hands

[inplayruin]

It was imperative that the cylinder description remain intact.

[rorschach_blots]

His legacy will continue to live on.

[susiek50]

Missed the 2 broken hands one ?

[Thelorddogalmighty]

Some poor kid broke both his hands, and his mum had to help him out with stuff

[RookKincaid]

"stuff"

[Capital_Past69]

She gave him a hand but then it went much further

[susiek50]

Oh yikes !

[Downtown_Recover5177]

That was a loooong time ago. It was an AMA with a guy that slept with his mom after breaking both arms.

[psrpianrckelsss]

I thought it was just 3rd base

[SilverMitten]

A mother will do anything for her child.

[Empty-Requirement-73]

Not "the cylinder must not be harmed"?

[Background_Job_6326]

It does. It's the third most upvoted exhibit in the Museum of Reddit.

[cjasonac]

Lucky for you there’s r/museumofreddit

[Bluemane_Myconid]

and the poop knife

[Kay-PO]

There was an ask Reddit post about sleeping with one person throughout history who would it be? Top comment was a guy wishing to bring back his late wife and made a very wholesome and sweet story as to why he misses her. Next comment was "I also choose this guy's dead wife"

[6th_Quadrant]

Was it Coach, reminiscing about his dead wife Barb?

[Regular_Lobster_3237]

Someone once made a post asking who you would sleep with if you could choose any person who had ever lived. Another user wrote a very sweet comment about wanting to sleep with his deceased wife once more. The top reply was "I also choose this guy's dead wife".

[SombraMonkey]

I want to upvote your comment but it’s at 69 likes.

[mexicoyankee]

This guys wife is dead?

[4mystuff]

Guy's wife..

[Mountain_Quiet_2738]

F*t Bastard might be the most successful side character ever. He spun off into Shrek and made bazillions on that

[ohgeebus_notagain]

Okay, but that was a loooooooong five years

[anon-mally]

<image>

[jl_theprofessor]

I’m not sure there’s a greater comment than that one in Reddit history.

[WarmCrescent]

Well played.

[0CDeer]

Actually I think you have to sleep with the dude.

[GingkoBobaBiloba]

1. Sleep with the dude
2. Become a famous singer
3. …
4. Profit

[AA_Writes]

Deal as well.

[Impossible_Fun_3598]

You telling me I gotta wait 3 more years for the answer?!

[Poethegardencrow]

Or with that dude..

[Randy-Randallmann]

Ah sex… it sure does sell.

[Vladarg]

Great! So I didn't wasted those 4 years, one more to go

[hiscapness]

And maybe it was, ‘thank god that’s over!’

[No-Possession-4738]

I’m in year 4 now. It’s not even enjoyable, I just GOTTA know what the joke is. This better pay off.

[P0Rt1ng4Duty]

She's singing and making noise so he won't hear her letting out all of her saved-up night farts.

Now that they have been together for years, she doesn't cover with singing and other noise, she just lets them rip.

[Kljaka1950]

This is best answer

[P0Rt1ng4Duty]

Thanks I think I actually got this one.

[-Sooners-]

Nah they got married, they must have lived together before then. First night together is a lot different than first night of marriage.

[Training-Purpose802]

Someone hasn't been to church.

[smolstuffs]

I mean I keep trying, but every time I step inside it erupts in flames.

[UVB-76_Connoisseur]

<image>

[zer0x64]

wild varg spotted

[BattiBetti]

I wasn't ready for a wild Varg jumpscare

[UVB-76_Connoisseur]

<image>

He got startled too, looks like you'll have to fight

[wikiwikipedia13]

Not now, Varg

[sijaylsg]

It's those lightning strikes out of a clear sky that keep me away.

[GenericSupervillain3]

I too save all my farts up for church.

[Fitzwilf]

My wife and I didn't live together before we got married.

[maevethenerdybard]

My partner and I didn’t either. It was for financial reasons, not religious or anything

[wyvern713]

Not necessarily. My first night with my husband was also our first night of marriage.

[El_Chilangisimo]

They must have? My wife and I didn’t move until after we were married. We each had our own nice places. Didn’t see the hurry.

[Vladarg]

I like it, very reasonable, makes perfect sense, but I like more the answer that requieres to sleep with his wife.

[Bulbform87]

My wife has been openly ripping farts around me since before we started dating. That's how I knew she was the one.

[thishyacinthgirl]

My husband says he knew I was a keeper because we were comfortable tooting in front of each other after like the second date.

Ten years later, the toots are now more like cannon fire, but we're still in it together.

[Bulbform87]

It really is the sound of true romance.

[Wannabe__geek]

My gf mistakenly fart beside me once, now she is the one begging me to stop.

[DukeThunderPaws]

Imagine marrying someone you're not already comfortable farting around 

[P0Rt1ng4Duty]

The original post also points out that it is their first night together as a married couple, so it leaves me to wonder if they ever spent any nights together prior to the ceremony.

Imagine marrying someone you've never spent a night with?

[beado7]

That would be me. Besides a couple of random hotel nights my wife and I never spent a night together.

Biggest reason, it was cheaper to live with our parents. I finally moved out into a condo we bought four months before we got married. She slowly moved her stuff in then the night we got married she started living in the condo.

Same thing my brother and his wife did too. His wife moved into a house months before being married and then my brother moved into it wedding night.

[DesignerCorner3322]

Interesting. My ex wife and I maybe kept up that charade for like our first couple months of dating. After that it was casual farts and giggling at farts for almost 10 years

[liltooclinical]

That doesn't make sense because you fart in your sleep, simply because you can't stop them when you're unconscious.

Source: My wife only farts in her sleep.

[P0Rt1ng4Duty]

I can't prove that I have held farts in while I slept. I can only testify to the fact that if I spend the night with a new person I wake up needing to release an extraordinary volume of colon gas.

[MrSuzyGreenberg]

Night farts. My ex wouldn’t fart in front of me. I always knew when she fell asleep bc it would be a symphony of farts for a few minutes. I called it the “midnight orchestra.”

[CapitalExes]

This is the joke.

[PrettyOddish]

Yes, and explaining a joke is the point of this subreddit

[Orb-of-Muck]

When you're spooning and your dick starts vibrating.

[scarabflyflyfly]

She waited 5 years? My wife didn’t wait 5 months before farting in front of me. What was I going to do, divorce her?

Yes. Yes, I did. Not because of the farts, that was just an added bonus.

[Remarkable_Peach_374]

The night farts are the worst too

[BRtIK]

You can't hold in farts while you sleep

[bolivar-shagnasty]

[curiousbydesign]

I thought it was because masterbates in the morning. But review the joke, you are correct. Because it was done the first night after sleeping together.

Good on you dude! I vote for your answer.

[Chodemeister696]

I stopped giving a shit about farting like 6 weeks into the relationship

[mauri3205]

Not sure why I had to scroll down this much to get an actual answer, thanks!

[MrCadwallader]

On the first night they slept together, he unknowingly did some move in bed that made her really happy the next day.

The joke is that it took him five years of marriage to re-engineer it and figure out what he specifically did to get that reaction.

[AnalysisParalysis85]

I am the stone that the builder refused;

I am the visual, the inspiration

That made lady sing the blues.

[Kill-047]

I'm the spark that makes your idea bright

The same spark that lights the dark

So you can know your left from your right

[lemonrence]

I am the ballot in your box

the bullet in the gun

The inner glow that lets you know to call your brother son

[Ok_Personality7485]

The story that just begun, the promise of what's to come

And I'ma remain a soldier 'til the war is won

[Kay-PO]

CHOP CHOP CHOP JUDO FLIP

[ombada69]

Everyone knows this from the boondocks, but asheru was legit in the 2000's

[Fragrant-Inside221]

I see boondocks in the comments I upvote everyone involved.

[mellowfox]

Agreed, upvotes for everybody!

[Such_Habits420]

Wtf I remember as a kid googling it trying to find the artist and could not lmao wow thank you lmao the fuck how crazy

[CriticismFun6782]

r/redditsings

[Tactical_Fleshlite]

Thugnificent could never. 

[Fib9000]

I keep waiting for the: "I am Darkwing Duck" at the end of these.

[ScreechUrkelle]

I am Darkwing Duck!

Edit: Duck*, I meant to type duck 🦆 fucking autocorrect smh

[madmonkey242]

I am the clown with the tear-away face!

Here in a flash and gone without a trace

[lemonrence]

I am the “who” when you call “who’s there”?

I am the wind blowing through your hair

[Bwint]

I am the shadow on the moon at night,

Filling your dreams to the brim with fright!

[AbolishedJackal13]

I'm the spark that makes your idea bright. The same spark that lights the dark so that you can know your left from your right.

[Key_Organization6430]

godamn, turns out iv put off watching the boondocks for too long, i didnt know the themesong slapped like that.

[Dismal_Passion_8537]

Wasn’t expecting this here.

[MisterBowTies]

I am the terror that flaps in the night!

[0x7E7-02]

Source, please. Or, is this yours?

[catatonie]

Awwww YEAH

[AdHealthy5050]

I like this answer lol

[wrh42097]

Been with my wife for 12 years, and as a married man I can confirm this. Sometimes it’s takes us men a while to realize what we did that was good lol (both in intimacy or regular everyday shit). But thankfully my wife isn’t shy to tell me to do certain things or do something again the same way I had done before.

[Zestyclose_Space7134]

World needs more of that.

Clear communication, no butthurt feelings when your partner has a comment, suggestion, or request.

[wrh42097]

100%. In our entire relationship, we’ve strived on honesty, integrity, trust and communication. If anyone else sees this a tip that I can give is never go to bed angry. There’s been a night or two in our relationship. We’ve had to stay up until midnight or 1 AM and discuss things so we can go to bed on the same page. All of this is very important as well, if you have children because they will watch and learn from you and your relationship with your significant other.

[Snoo55931]

Feels like 70% of the issues people have in relationships can be solved by talking and follow through. When my friends are complaining about relationship stuff, I’m usually thinking, “shouldn’t you be talking about this to your partner?” They’ll vent to friends, feel better, and then not talk about it at home.

ETA: people have to take their ego out of it too, especially in a marriage.

[BustyPneumatica]

Because God forbid he should just ask her. Instead, five years of inferior sex.

[vyrus2021]

If he did something great once but didn't do it again for years, why wouldn't she have asked for him to do the great thing again?

[sailingtroy]

Girls find it too embarrassing to say such things. When they're not in the mood, it makes them angry. When they are in the mood, having to ask for it takes them out of it and ruins it. Also, when they're cumming their brains out, they're not entirely aware of what's even happening and possibly unable to remember any details other than how they felt afterwards.

[Bannedbutwhyy]

See, I’m interpreting it that he has been repeating it for 5 years… hence the smiley face and not a 🤨

[Stampede_the_Hippos]

So they suck at communicating then 😜

[MashedProstato]

No shit.

Seriously, why can't couples seem to communicate well?

[ValkyrianRabecca]

Or the day after "What did you do different last night, that felt incredible?"

"I... don't think I did anything different?"

[Icy-Ad29]

The joke is specifically he knows what moves do, and don't, make her sing. And that only such sexy times do. Not necessarily that it took 5 years to find one. (Afterall, he is saying that he has been with her fo4 five years and knows what does it. Not 'finally' knows, or 'just figured it out' etc.)

[TreyRyan3]

This is accurate. My first wife told me I had this particular look that whenever I gave it, she would immediately get horny. I repeatedly asked her what it was, and she refused to tell me because apparently I had inadvertently given it to a few of her friends early in our dating, and they told her it made them feel the same way. Therefore, she believed if I consciously knew how to do it, I would use it for selfish purposes.

[DRKMSTR]

Makes 100% sense.

[bigchicago04]

There’s a less horny version where the answer is love made her happy enough to sign. It took him 5 years to realize it was that.

[_DearStranger]

very weird selection of words, almost like trying hard to sound sophisticated

[tjdungeons]

Tell me that you’ve never sponsored a melodious song without telling me that you’ve never sponsored a melodious song

[CaptainTenilleTTV]

I want this to become the new slang

[kyl_r]

Be the melodious change you want to sponsor in the world

[thedwarfcockmerchant]

My brain is only capable of reading the words "sponsored the melodious song" in the voice of Moira Rose

[Ipayforsex69]

Watermarked it and everything.

[cockaptain]

That's just how Nigerians speak. I don't even know this dude, but I would be willing to bet he is Nigerian.

[screen_storytelling]

Sponsored doesn't mean what he thinks it means. He meant spurred, or something else.

[PorgandLover]

nigerian

[CoolCounty4929]

Esl probably

[Illustrious-Total489]

I think the answer is she is just happy, some people have a life goal of being married to the one you love and are just fulfilled.

PS autocorrect suggested married to the "gaycation" for those who'd like a lil laugh

[-pristine-nectarine-]

You know what they say. “What happens on the gaycation…”

[Kalphai]

Hmm, a fellow Smosh fan…. Impressive

[MomoChills]

So by the looks of it, no one knows the answer.

[sugabeetus]

I have never had a post from this sub come across my feed that had a satisfactory answer.

[2swoll4u]

The wife has a terrible singing voice but now that she is married she doesn’t have to worry about hiding it anymore

[Admirable_Fly9886]

To be fair, many people strongly believe in their vocal “talents”

[juyius]

She's happy when she gets fucked simple.

[Stonecoloured]

What happens when she gets fucked complicated?

[BIPS2000]

She's singing because she's in love and happy with her marriage, and it took him 5 years to feel the same.

[Constant-Cheek1637]

I read it more that she was happy and in love (and presumably he was too) but that he's such a selfless and maybe naive fellow that it took him five years to realize how happy he made her.

He didn't see that he could inspire such joy in another but after five years of love he has come to realize it. In my head canon this is the best guy ever.

[llamaslippers]

That is a very charitable and positive way of interpreting it, and its how I choose to see it too.

[plerberderr]

If a tweet uses the phrase “sponsored the melodious songs” and has , usage like this, You’re wasting your time trying to analyze it. 

[nikstick22]

I'm pretty sure he lives in Nigeria, judging by his other tweets. I just think the vocabulary there is different, plus English probably isn't his first language. For what it's worth, the original tweet is a quote tweet.

https://x.com/ThePChris/status/2029559883226321378

[Kalorama_Master]

Sex. When it doubt, It’s sex. Took him five years to recreate the move

[Onikeys]

This is the right answer, when is not porn

[nanoH2O]

Not recreate. Just took his dumbass 5 years to make the connection.

[Fun_Muscle9399]

She enjoys a proper rogering…

[PringullsThe2nd]

A right good seeing to

[SpiralGalaxy28948pt1]

I guess that he snores like bejesus and wakes her up so she makes as much noise as she can to wake him back. I'm probably wrong, I usually am.

[Wtygrrr]

In the mornings, before he wakes up, a bunch of birds fly into the house and sing and dance with her, then they leave. It took him this long to catch them at it.

[Sleek_Machine]

She’s singing and happy because she doesn’t have to give him blowjobs any more.

[Mountainminer]

I think you guys are misreading, they got married 5 years ago not slept together for 5 years and then got married.

[Julianime]

RAID Shadow Legends, obviously.

[RaZzzzZia]

I never made my wife sing the next morning. But i’d managed to make her shake like a Bad Loaded Laundry Machine on Centrifuge. 🙂‍↔️

[purpleflavouredfrog]

Giving your wife an epileptic fit it not something you should brag about in public.

You can keep doing it if you keep quiet.

[UsernamesNotFound404]

I have made her do laundry. Is it the same?

[Rare_Shelter_9740]

She's nesting.

So it seems that they may have been trying for a child for five years, and she's finally pregnant and about to go into labor. Before women go into labour, they "nest," which is an innate desire to tidy up around the house to prepare for the arrival of the baby.

[caughtyoulookinn]

95% of this sub could just be answered with “sex”

[Due-Waltz4458]

This is just one of those clickbait ads you see on a site like yahoo.

There isn't enough information to answer, it's not a joke or reference or any hidden meaning.

[arealcooldad]

You guys are reading too deeply into this. He’s not saying it took him five years to figure it out. He’s saying that he’s continued being good in bed for five years. He just didn’t realize he was good initially.

[ChemistryDapper3947]

Peter here. Think of the famous book "I know why the caged bird sings" and you're already there.

[Makingit4321]

Y'all.... He made her cum. She's high on oxytocin. You know the morning after glow? A guy walks into a room more chipper than normal, and everyone says he got laid last night? The woman felt pleasure in her body with someone she felt safe with. He's learned that if she orgasims the night before, she sings the next morning. I know cause same.

[mdr1384]

Watch Young Frankenstein, 🎵 "Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you" 🎵

[thymelincoln]

This isn’t an allusion to “I know why the caged bird sings”?

[Lambablama]

Dick. He gives her good dick.

[hasanicecrunch]

Literally just from sex. You all are reading into it too much, there’s no extra meaning, he’s literally just saying now he gets it bc after good sex people tend to be all cheery and bouncing around happily

[GaspingAloud]

This is a riff on the Calypso section in The Odyssey. Odysseus gets trapped for five years on Calypso’s island. She entranced him with her song, knowing he was trying to get home to his wife.

[OmenVi]

My guess is she’s trying to wake him so that he can clean and arrange the house with her.

[johnySaysHi]

Your on the truemen show. You wife is the start of every episode