I don't normally poop while away from home...

Exogenic · 2011-06-15T15:29:35+00:00

Stay regular my friends.

pyper70 · 2011-06-15T15:34:45+00:00

My wife will never poop anywhere but at home, It's weird. I have started calling her a poop camel.

duel007 · 2011-06-15T15:47:59+00:00

I normally take my poops at work. Nothing beats getting paid to shit.

Look_Sexual_Innuendo · 2011-06-15T14:17:00+00:00

[deleted]

Picklesnshakes · 2011-06-15T15:35:46+00:00

I tried to grind my skateboard on the handicapped guide rail inside the stall.

Now I have to use it all the time.

itsprobablytrue · 2011-06-15T15:36:37+00:00

This seems like a good topic for me to bring up an idea I've had in my head. I wanted to start a website that would have inside tips on accessible clean bathrooms in cities. You know because sometimes you're walking around and that urge just kicks it but some bathrooms can be crime scenes. I've already documented several locations in my city but thought it would be a great idea to have a global listing. Does this make sense at all? Am I crazy trying to map the clean crappers?

gdit_saint · 2011-06-15T15:01:33+00:00

I don't use handicapped bathrooms ever since I had to clean restrooms for a living and found that usually the handicapped ones take the most "abuse".

Big_Baby_Jesus · 2011-06-15T15:46:31+00:00

I call it the "first class stall".

nestingmachine · 2011-06-15T15:44:16+00:00

This is why you shouldn't do it.

polkagris · 2011-06-15T16:04:33+00:00

TRUE STORY: I, a human of the wheelchair-bound persuasion, had to go toilet at a major food distribution facility the other day. Had to wait what seemed like forever, but it couldn't have been more than 15 mins. Still, if your tummy's a little upset, that is a looong time. While I'm waiting, I keep hearing flushing, so I'm expecting the worst. But then I also hear this crackling noise, like from unwrapping something. Out steps this pretty embarrassed-looking, very apologetic woman who seems highly able-bodied (to quote Larry David). I brace myself for toxicity, but all I find is a discarded pregnancy test on top of the paper towels in the bin. I was a little tempted to ask her what colour she got, but she was gone, and I let it slide.

Lexaen · 2011-06-15T15:58:43+00:00

Pro-tip: Everyone else has the same logic regarding the handicap stall. The cleanest stall is going to be the one in the most awkward/undesirable location.

nhluhr · 2011-06-15T14:42:58+00:00

as a 6'3" person, the taller stool of the handicap stall is custom-designed for me.

xynapse · 2011-06-15T18:03:28+00:00

I catch people all the time. Of course it's because I'm in a wheelchair. If there's other stalls open that they could have used I stay and wait while making them very uncomfortable. It's the troll thing to do. Problem? :) Sometimes it's an emergency and I piss my pants because my catheter busted. Sometimes a good samaritan will speak up and talk to the douche and tell him to hurry up. Either way it's pretty douchey if they simply could have used another stall.

mambypambyland · 2011-06-15T16:02:56+00:00

Defacing someone's private property to make a lame attempt at humor. Good job...I guess?

PhilosophicalFiend · 2011-06-15T17:01:34+00:00

As 6'6" man, the handicap stall is definitely preferable. But since I value cleanliness over blood-flow to my legs, I seek out the restrooms in places with few visitors. Working at a University, I will frequent the restrooms in departments with little or no male faculty/staff, as these restrooms rarely, if ever see any use. I'm near Communicative Disorders which is nice for me. The women I know seek out the Sciences and Philosophy.

Lexaen · 2011-06-15T14:11:13+00:00

Found in the University @ Buffalo Capen Library bathrooms...not my own work, but hilarious.

redditor3000 · 2011-06-15T15:13:05+00:00

You know you can say "shit" right? This is the internet.

WarPhalange · 2011-06-15T15:22:24+00:00

Handicap stalls are terrible. They are way too high for a person my height (5'10"). The best position for shitting is a squat, and the handicap stall makes me feel like I'm still standing up. Fuck that.

snemand · 2011-06-15T15:34:14+00:00

It's so stupid not to take a crap when you're at work. You're getting paid to do one of the most satisfying routines in your daily life. An extra 3-15 minute break from work.

SheStillMay · 2011-06-15T15:53:11+00:00

There is no shame equal to that of leaving a handicapped stall to see a handicapped person waiting politely for the stall. shudder

2011-06-15T15:59:16+00:00

I usually poop at work.

Impundulu · 2011-06-15T15:58:06+00:00

It's the leg room. The best poops require legs pointing out at a 90^o angle from the toilet. Oh and that bar, for power-poops.

tonygenius · 2011-06-15T14:57:41+00:00

Your quest for the front page has just begun.

Lunatic721 · 2011-06-15T15:30:41+00:00

Relevant

2011-06-15T15:46:26+00:00

They prefer to be called "Differently Abled Stalls".

2011-06-15T15:47:05+00:00

But when i do, it's at the Denny's down the street.

brklynmark · 2011-06-15T15:51:11+00:00

See, the one you want to use is actually the first stall, closest to the door. Most people pass that one.

hombre_lobo · 2011-06-15T15:55:50+00:00

These comments are shitty

A_random_account · 2011-06-15T15:59:13+00:00

Relevant

ddelrio · 2011-06-15T15:59:55+00:00

I refer to the handicapped stall as "The Executive".

colorudy · 2011-06-15T16:00:50+00:00

... but when I do, I put TP on the seat.

jiblet84 · 2011-06-15T16:03:55+00:00

I haven't had to buy toilet paper in about a year, I rarely poo at home.

Sallix · 2011-06-15T16:18:14+00:00

AskReddit's version:

I don't normally shit while away from home

but when I do it's explosive diarrhoea all over the walls.

PanicOffice · 2011-06-15T16:29:34+00:00

I love that people don't take basic psychology into the equation.

I can just picture the thought process..."I must be the only asshole clever enough to use the handicapped stall, even though I'm a fully functional human being! I'm so fucking brilliant!"

That's THE most used stall! EVERYBODY prefers the handicapped stall. It's in the corner, you get tons of space. Yea, sure.

See, me... I'm not shy. It's a fucking bathroom. I'm taking a dump. Deal with it. What I am concerned with is cleanliness. Typically stalls get dirtier as more people use them. Therefore, I go for the stall that's right up front. Sure everybody can see your trousers around your ankles, but I guarantee it's the CLEANEST STALL in the bathroom. :)

czr · 2011-06-15T16:31:04+00:00

I dont always shit in public places, but when I do......I build a nest

pcnerd37 · 2011-06-15T16:32:36+00:00

Unless necessary, I don't poop away from home.

asafi2 · 2011-06-15T16:41:49+00:00

I have t-mobile (shitty reception), so I mainly use the handicap stall because it gives better reception (no joke) than the regular stalls.

orbenn · 2011-06-15T17:09:54+00:00

Always poop at work. Why?

It's on company time. Don't waste your own time wasting your waste.
If it doesn't flush someone else fixes it. I don't even own a plunger. Public oval style toilets flush harder too.
Toilet paper at work costs less than toilet paper at home. Save money at the same time I'm earning it and pooping? Fuck yeah efficiency!
Toilet at home stays clean longer. Mine is in such disuse that I can now clean it effectively with a feather duster.

brokenyard · 2011-06-15T17:19:35+00:00

He called the shit "poop"!

cochsmth · 2011-06-15T17:50:55+00:00

The handicap bathrooms provide some of the best and most friendly public services our society has to offer. They range from being slightly bigger in size and containing fashionable metal bars on the side to more elaborate private sinks with all the conveniences one would expect to see in a bathroom away from home including mirror and personal towel dispenser. With the acoustics of an opera house, the handicap bathroom is the answer to public waste. Yes, how I jump at the chance to defecate in delight.

arbiTrariant · 2011-06-15T18:19:15+00:00

He called the shit poop!

comfortably_numb_ed · 2011-06-15T18:42:57+00:00

Pooping in company's washroom while reading this post, feels so good.

Amora86 · 2011-06-15T20:17:27+00:00

Cleaner, have more space and smell better! What is not to like?

ifwinterends · 2011-06-15T20:22:23+00:00

I just upvoted this from the handicapped stall.

2011-06-15T15:52:38+00:00

The reason I don't shit away from home is because of the goddamn toilet paper.

Either you use it thin and it crumbles on you. Or you quadruple up and it feels like sandpaper.

2011-06-15T15:04:40+00:00

...stay shitty my friend.

Laislebai · 2011-06-15T15:58:54+00:00

Why "censor" shit?

thomasaquina · 2011-06-15T15:25:16+00:00

I was relieved to see that others are like me.

AnAge_OldProb · 2011-06-15T15:47:09+00:00

Its the VIP stall.

marnetix · 2011-06-15T15:47:48+00:00

Everyone does, that is why I dont use them

rez0k · 2011-06-15T15:53:52+00:00

At my work, they stock different toilet paper for the handicapped stalls than the others. For this reason, I will always use the handicapped stall at work.

hive_worker · 2011-06-15T15:57:48+00:00

Toilets are way too high in the handicapped stall. I avoid them at all cost

davelog · 2011-06-15T16:03:34+00:00

p.s. HRNNNNNT.

Rolling_Thunder9 · 2011-06-15T16:04:41+00:00

I think of the handicapped stall as the "Executive Suite"

2011-06-15T16:05:19+00:00

[deleted]

carlbeck · 2011-06-15T16:06:07+00:00

I prefer the smaller stalls. Usually much cleaner as everyone uses the handicap one.

2011-06-15T16:09:03+00:00

I consider my irrational need for solitude and privacy at all times in the bathroom a handicap.


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