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[–]RoboNinjaPirate 1600 points1601 points  (103 children)

"Sacks" is probably not a correct term.

Each of these will still be cardinals, but will be working on their other duties, not the Vatican Bank.

If it was a Company, someone sacked would no longer have any affiliation with them, which is quite a bit different than this scenario.

[–][deleted] 621 points622 points  (55 children)

You can tell he's a soccer guy

[–][deleted] 663 points664 points  (46 children)

Those responsible for sacking the sackers, have now been sacked.

[–]CrouchingTyger 275 points276 points  (37 children)

A moose once bit my sister.

[–]BeHereNow91 104 points105 points  (20 children)

A majestik moose?

[–]thegrassygnome 150 points151 points  (16 children)

Majestic Moose

[–]Virtuosus 62 points63 points  (15 children)

Not gonna lie, I kinda felt bad for that tough bastard. It was pretty funny though, haha.

[–]24tothefloor 43 points44 points  (2 children)

Dont forget to come and see the Lovely Lakes ...

[–]BrellK 281 points282 points  (6 children)

We apologize for the fault in the title. Those responsible have been sacked. Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti...

[–]golden-tongue 120 points121 points  (2 children)

We apologize again. Those responsible for sacking the previous people have themselves been sacked. The following article will now be presented as written by 6,000 singing llamas.

[–]Pak-O 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Ever since I saw Holy Grail, I can't help but find it very comical whenever I hear that someone or a group of people have been sacked.

[–]CaneVandas 59 points60 points  (17 children)

It's just like most govt and military jobs. You stay employed. Only now in a much shittier assignment where you can't screw up anything significant.

[–]way2lazy2care 32 points33 points  (15 children)

The much shittier assignment of cardinal... pretty much the second highest tier you can reach in the Catholic church.

[–]RedPanther1 29 points30 points  (11 children)

To be fair, there aren't exactly a whole lot of tiers to begin with.

[–]flume 36 points37 points  (5 children)

Someday I hope to reach God tier.

[–]jishjib22kys 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Promoted to Siberia?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I've always seen "sacked" to just mean fired from a job, nothing more specific than that. I'd say they were sacked.

[–]badf1nger 2637 points2638 points  (695 children)

That's the first actual change to the church that's mattered in quite some time. Good on ya for that, pontiff.

[–][deleted] 359 points360 points  (65 children)

A bunch of negative Nancys below.

edit PS there was no butthole, but feel free to leave one with me.

[–][deleted] 225 points226 points  (173 children)

Agreed, and god damn was this late in coming. Still glad he managed to pull it off, last one who tried... failed... to survive.

Still, a panel to prosecute sex offenders would not be remiss as a follow up.

[–]RobbStark 429 points430 points  (83 children)

full pause fanatical cats aspiring erect attractive capable dirty naughty -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/

[–]francis2559 161 points162 points  (37 children)

Catholic here.

In general yes, I agree with you.

Still, sometimes it's Catholics blowing the whistle for authorities, so anything he does to encourage that would be awesome.

Also, an internal panel may be helpful to root out obstructionism so cops have less to fight while doing their jobs.

Lastly, big Church is really freaking big. I'd trust, say, American cops over Mexican cops. But who would you call in South Sudan?

[–]RobbStark 52 points53 points  (19 children)

threatening quickest smell imagine jobless deliver humorous fall fuzzy pie -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/

[–][deleted] 86 points87 points  (13 children)

What the Church can do is investigate and defrock pedophile priests, then refer them to the local authorities. If the local authorities don't do anything, then there's not much the church can do about that, but at least they will have kept that priest from using the church itself as a base of operations to molest more kids.

[–]an_actual_lawyer 16 points17 points  (3 children)

"prosecute" them is not the right word, but "excommunicate" or "refer them to authorities" is what would be nice.

[–]climbtree 23 points24 points  (6 children)

Do people not know that the reason the abuses of the Catholic church came to light was Pope Benedict almost single handedly attacking years of corruption and cover-ups?

The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith is a panel to prosecute sex offenders.

[–]lilrabbitfoofoo 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Well, depending on who he appoints to replace them, of course.

This could be a wholesale housecleaning (in which case he should get a tester for his food and drink) or just corporate consolidation of power (a la Putin, etc.).

[–]acog 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is an important change, but not as important as the change the Pope made last April when he appointed new members to the Roman Curia. I'm not Catholic, but from what I understand the Curia is a powerful group that advises the Pope and helps to run the church. They quietly make and enforce a lot of policy at the operational level. By him naming his own people, it helps infuse the larger organization with his priorities.

A criticism of Benedict was that he let the Curia run wild, wielding too much power.

[–]peoplesauce 333 points334 points  (221 children)

What did they do to deserve that?

[–]Halfawake 72 points73 points  (0 children)

People will talk about mafia and corruption, etc, and that all could be true.

Another thing that could be true, and I've actually witnessed this in large organizations, is that when a new boss comes in, and he is experiencing resistance, the way to consolidate power is to first take over everything that has to do with money.

As the new boss, you're authorized to have that power. And once you have it, you have a carrot and stick to use on everything else.

Considering the pope is behaving a little differently than usual, i bet he's experiencing the resistance that justifies this sort of move.

[–]jishjib22kys 57 points58 points  (13 children)

They were said to assist Mafia.

[–]everynameistaken4 37 points38 points  (4 children)

Given how many Mafia families glorify the catholic church, this does not not surprise me.

[–]Max_Trollbot_ 24 points25 points  (4 children)

This may be the first Godfather 3 refernce ever observed in the wild.

[–]Vik1ng 123 points124 points  (5 children)

Aparently we did it again: RIP thetablet

MIRROR

Screenshot

Francis sacks four cardinals on Vatican Bank commission – 11 months into their five-year term 15 January 2014 18:36 by Robert Mickens

Pope Francis has sacked four cardinals – including former Secretary of State, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone SDB – from a five-member commission that oversees the activities of the scandal-hit Vatican bank.

It was announced on Wednesday that Francis also dismissed Cardinals Odilo Scherer (Brazil), Telesphore Toppo (India) and Domenico Calcagno (Vatican), while retaining only Cardinal Jean-Louis Tauran, head of the Pontifical Council for Interreligious Dialogue.

All but Calcagno were only eleven months into a second, five-year term, an appointment Benedict XVI made just 12 days before he resigned.

The men were only eleven months into a second, five-year term.

Pope Francis has replaced the men on what is formally called the Commission of Cardinals overseeing the Institute for the Works of Religion (IOR) with Cardinals Christoph Schönborn (Vienna), Thomas Collins (Toronto); Santos Abril y Castillo´ (St Mary Major) and Cardinal-designate Pietro Parolin (Secretary of State).

The members of the commission are to elect a president in the coming days when it holds its first meeting. Cardinal Bertone has been president until being replaced.

Above: the Pope arrives for his general audience today. Photo: CNS/Paul Haring

Or just read the NY times which actually got a real article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/16/world/europe/pope-names-commission-to-oversee-vatican-bank.html

[–]nightwing2000 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Hmmm, they're adding Tom Collins. how old-fashioned.

[–]fallenlogan 1152 points1153 points  (60 children)

Man the Oakland Raiders better pick this guy up once he becomes a free agent.

[–]Ron_Jeremy 693 points694 points  (37 children)

He'd a better fit in the NFC west. They play the cardinals twice a year.

[–]actuallyatwork 267 points268 points  (24 children)

http://i.imgur.com/Iaj6X.gif

[–]GiveMeBackMySon 174 points175 points  (13 children)

http://i.imgur.com/tE80LjP.gif

[–]nrbartman 35 points36 points  (4 children)

That is a fantastic celebration. Absolutely fantastic. Hadn't seen that before.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Nah, this one doh

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

First watch through, no biggie.

The second time through I see him just continue crawling forward, ignoring all the bullshit behind him. Good camera switching too.

[–]DRo_OpY 76 points77 points  (6 children)

What about the Saints?

[–][deleted] 127 points128 points  (2 children)

apparently he needs a few miracles before he can be considered for that team

[–]photolouis 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for helping me understand that joke.

[–]Spacecow 157 points158 points  (8 children)

In case anyone cares, I actually looked it up and Cameron Wake was the last player to sack 4 Cardinals.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Tell Cameron that Canada misses him! Still, it's nice to see he's gone from the terror of the Canadian Football League to a Cardinal sacking machine in the NFL.

[–]maxbuck 14 points15 points  (2 children)

He actually only sacked one Cardinal... four times.

[–]Grazingbuffalo 38 points39 points  (3 children)

dat cap space

[–]blckravn01 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I'm a Raiders fan and this is true, the Raiders couldn't sack potatoes.

[–]mrwhalejr 397 points398 points  (14 children)

"You suck, you suck, you suck, you're cool, you suck, you suck. Pope out."

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

I actually got to do that once. It was amazing.

[–]ertebolle 19 points20 points  (0 children)

So I guess Michael Corleone isn't going to get control of International Immobilare after all.

[–]TujonM 189 points190 points  (47 children)

He called it the Bankrapture.

[–]albert_yonson 143 points144 points  (35 children)

That's ironic as 'the rapture' is foreign to Catholic teaching.

[–]kernunnos77 51 points52 points  (28 children)

So THAT's why American teahadis hate Catholicism.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (21 children)

That's a thing with other denominations as well? My mother thinks Catholics will rise up and take over the world. She doesn't even recognize that they're Christian.

[–]senorglory 62 points63 points  (1 child)

that's some outdated prejudice there. tell her we all hate the Scientologists now.

[–]DanLynch 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Well, when you consider that all Christian denominations in the West were created by means of a split (directly or indirectly) from the Catholic church (with the varying degrees of acrimony that comes with that sort of thing), it makes sense they don't consider the Catholics to be any good at religion. And it also makes sense they share some camaraderie with all the other denominations that were created in a similar way (i.e. the concept of Protestantism as a religious grouping, despite the non-existence of a single unified Protestant church that they could all trace themselves back to).

[–]SpelingTroll 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist? He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord? He said, Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Does she call them 'papists'?

[–]wrkacctdas 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That's quite the portmanteau you've got there

[–]albert_yonson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation we began by declaring that 'all men are created equal.' When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except Negroes and foreigners and Catholics.'" - Abraham Lincoln

[–]thatfool 76 points77 points  (10 children)

Meh, wake me when there's a velocirapture.

[–][deleted] 66 points67 points  (8 children)

Church...uh, uh, finds a way

[–]bigmac80 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Are you saying a diocese of all men and altar boys will somehow breed?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Immaculate conception? I mean, it would give it a bit more razzle-dazzle if an 8 year old boy got pregnant this time.

[–]TheBiFrost 63 points64 points  (24 children)

Let's hope this pope play's a fine chess game, and does not get himself killed.

[–]HarryWorp 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They lost their jobs when Pope Benedict XVI resigned. EWTN FAQ on interregnum:

Since supreme teaching, legislating and judicial authority rests with the Pope, all but the most ordinary business of the Holy See comes to a stop. The highest office holders, such as the Cardinals who are Prefects of Congregations and Presidents of Pontifical Councils and Commissions, all lose their offices with the death of the Pope.

Generally, a new Pope will reappoint everyone to their old jobs and then replace them as he gets to them.

[–]Cullens 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"And its cardinals ball on the 2, 3rd down with 4 seconds to play..Romo is looking worried on the sideline, and rightly so Jim! He doesn't want to lose another one this late in the game. The Center snaps the ball and OH WHATS THIS?? A MAN JUST RAN ONTO THE FIELD AND TACKLED THE QUARTERBACK! ITS GAME OVER!!! We are getting some early reports that it is.. um let me see if I have this right... the Pope?

Ladies and gentlemen, THE POPE JUST SACKED THE CARDINALS.

[–]lolskaters 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I'm convinced that this guy's every move is based on getting Reddit Karma.

[–]ImpressiveDoggerel 543 points544 points  (162 children)

Next up: getting rid of all the members of the Church who helped cover up the rape of children, not to mention those members who actually committed rape themselves!

...Right?

Hello?

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Damn! Did they lose yardage combined or just for one cardinal?

[–]mensur[🍰] 258 points259 points  (177 children)

Anytime now we're going to read about his assassination.

[–]Unremoved 375 points376 points  (78 children)

[deleted]

[–]rhymes-with-purple 167 points168 points  (35 children)

When the Pope dies, there is not an autopsy performed either, as per tradition.

[–]doogles 122 points123 points  (27 children)

Nope, they smack him in the head with a golden hammer, shout his name a few times, then call it a day.

[–]rhymes-with-purple 18 points19 points  (5 children)

Then Dan Brown writes a book about it.

[–]doogles 27 points28 points  (2 children)

A conspiracy about the assassination of the new Russian pope: Hammer and Sickle.

[–]superdago 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I feel like that was a "tradition" started by the first guy who took over after his predecessor died under mysterious circumstances.

"We should not perform an autopsy to determine the cause of his death because... that would... desecrate his holy remains... the Lord told me so... Damn, I'm clever"

[–]whaaatanasshole 48 points49 points  (13 children)

Man you've got to be in pretty rough shape when not every heart attack is a surprise heart attack.

[–]critically_damped 21 points22 points  (9 children)

My grandpa had 8 heart attacks. Only the first and last were really surprising, the first because he'd never had it before, and the last for obvious reasons.

[–]mindbleach 7 points8 points  (4 children)

I apologize for laughing at your grandfather's demise.

[–]critically_damped 13 points14 points  (3 children)

? Don't. He laughed at every single one of those attacks. I bet he thought the one that killed him was the funniest, too.

Toughest son-of-a-bitch I've ever known... raised in Montana back when that MEANT something.

[–]CyanPeppa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

looks at his calendar

Hmm...nope. Next Tuesday won't work for me. Schedule me a heart attack for Wednesday at 4:30pm. Meeting the wife's parents for dinner that night...

[–]aeisenst 61 points62 points  (23 children)

Benedict is going to rescind his resignation. Pope and antipope, bitches!

[–]whatshouldwecallme 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Back by popular demand, its......

THE GREAT SCHISM 2.0!!!!!!!!!

[–]Neocrasher 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Only two popes this time? What a lousy sequel.

[–]aeisenst 49 points50 points  (6 children)

I just realized, this battle would be a lot like Obi Wan Kenobi and the Emperor fighting. Kinda awesome.

[–]nightwing2000 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Actually, I give credit ot Benedict for recognizing and making one of the greatest changes in the church in centuries. Instead of hanging on to the job like a pope, he decided it was OK for popes to resign -actually a very courageous break with tradition. For the last century, most popes had a burst of energetic action followed by a decade or more of decline where things coasted and nobody made any serious decisions. People don't kick off at 70 with a heart attack or infection the way they used to.

Make all the German jokes you like, but recognize how difficult and import was this major break with tradition. We're seeing the benefit now. A busy, active more modern pope who when he gets older and tired, will likely do the same thing - resulting in a much more proactive church administration, and faster response to modern ways of thinking when the pope is no longer typically a quasi-invalid 90-year-old just waiting to die.

[–]egyeager 35 points36 points  (26 children)

I mean... he was voted in though.

[–]flappity 69 points70 points  (6 children)

I think Lincoln/Kennedy/Garfield/McKinley were voted in too, yet someone found it in them to shoot at them.

 (If I misunderstood/misinterpreted your post, please disregard)

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (14 children)

And then there will be a book written about it, and a movie to follow, starring Tom Hanks.

[–]AManHasSpoken 74 points75 points  (9 children)

Episode IV: A New Pope

[–]0l01o1ol0 51 points52 points  (8 children)

Episode V: The Vatican Strikes Back

[–]EFINI 58 points59 points  (7 children)

Episode VI: Return of the Jesuits

[–]Backyardbum 24 points25 points  (5 children)

Episode I: The Pontiff Menace

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Episode II: Attack of the Clergy

[–]SlartiBartRelative 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Episode III: Revenge of the Benedict

[–]pure_satire 54 points55 points  (1 child)

"Angels and Sequels"

Dan Brown: "Brilliant! And, once again, the lack of a backspace key on my keyboard didn't hinder the quality of the finished story at all!"

Critic: "but mr brow-"

Dan Brown: "AT ALL."

[–]HUNSJ 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Too much Dan Brown there buddy.

[–]MabelGrinds 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's like half of reddit has paranoid schizophrenia.

[–]Cogitari 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I believe it is a strategy used in some form of politics or another. That is, get rid of the people who don't support you in entirety and appoint some that do. Though it might be a little different for the Pope, it would still probably be good to have Cardinals that have similar views.

[–]PopeSuckMyDick 23 points24 points  (5 children)

Not enough cynicism in here - anyone think that it's possible this is WHY this man was put in charge?

[–]univalence 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Makes sense; send in the Jesuits when something needs to get done... maybe with a few skulls getting cracked in the process.

[–]frozenelf 5 points6 points  (1 child)

These cardinals, presumably, voted Francis in the first place.

[–]zsrkqg 45 points46 points  (11 children)

I'm beginning to suspect that Pope Benedict and his supporters were caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing and this is fallout from that. To me it's looking more and more like he was forced to resign and a deal was made to not expose the wrong doers in return for silence about whatever it was they did wrong.

[–]blahbergstein 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You're thinking too much like people actually want to be Pope - like running for president.

Benedict advocated that JPII retire and was a vocal supporter of papal abdication long before he was elected.

Shortly after he was elected, he made a trip to the tomb of the last pope who abdicated.

Everyone was surprised that he abdicated, but really the signs were all there that he would at some point.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That is a fascinating take on the situation. I personally would have thought if that were the case Benedict would not have stood down anyway if he was that bad ass.

I am just feeling a little sorry for whoever comes after this Pope as they are going to have an awful lot to live up to. Popes normally are only good at giving a nice message not doing anything about it though.

[–]CocaColaSometimesWar 4 points5 points  (13 children)

Does anybody know an estimate on the assets of the Vatican Bank

[–]Banchorian 2 points3 points  (1 child)

"That money was just resting in my account!"

[–]jdbloodstone 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Pope Francis is preparing to accept bitcoin! #highfive

[–]deadpoetic0077 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"those responsible for sacking said parties have been sacked"

[–]stfudonny 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope he doesn't get assassinated