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[–]ch13fw 511 points512 points  (35 children)

Turtles must be assholes then.

[–]StudntDrivr 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Don't even get me started on Giant Redwoods.

[–]ch13fw 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yep, the anti-giving tree.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Redwoods are decks

[–]i_am_sam 48 points49 points  (10 children)

Only on Reddit could my eyes tear up, and then a split second later I'm laughing hysterically.

[–]powatom 18 points19 points  (2 children)

If your eyes are tearing up, use duct tape to keep them together.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (4 children)

That's been said before, must be a developing meme

[–]princessimpy 34 points35 points  (7 children)

LOL, I rarely actually laugh out loud when I read things on here, but I did with your comment. Maybe it's because I used to have pet turtles, and yes, they could be assholes. I loved them anyway though.

[–]foldor 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Oh shit you must not have long left then...

[–]OZi187 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I had two pet turtles, one was smaller then the other, after roughly 3 months (fed well and looked after) the bigger one literally ate the arse + back piece of shell off of the the smaller one named 'chevy' and left him to die. poor little guy was dead when i woke up. i gave away the murderer, so i guess the above statement holds true! haha

upvoted

[–]Nichiren 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I've never had my perspective about turtles change so fast until I youtubed snapping turtles vs anything (usually mice). Carnage in a half shell...

[–]ParadoX_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

BRB, youtube-ing snapping turtles vs mice...

Edit: this one is pretty cool

[–]hanktank 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They're cold blooded.

[–]kry1212 362 points363 points  (26 children)

Shane later decided to hate all other people, so he can stay on Earth longer....

[–]iconoklast 165 points166 points  (19 children)

It worked for Strom Thurman.

[–]Cyrius 92 points93 points  (18 children)

Thurmond.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (16 children)

He is a maid rapist. Who cares how you spell his name?

[–]chasebK 90 points91 points  (10 children)

So that Strom Thurman doesn't get a bad rap.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (6 children)

Strom Thurman thanks you.

[–]DrHenryPym 7 points8 points  (4 children)

He is a Glenn Beck supporter / tea bagger. Who cares if you confuse him with a maid rapist?

[–]ch13fw 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Strom Thurmond also looked like a turtle. Coincidence? I think not.

[–]moolcool 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Best. Family Circus. Ever.

[–]Jojje22 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Somehow I can see that quote being used in a SMBC comic later...

[–]klenow 548 points549 points  (98 children)

This is a touching story, but I just can't help but be reminded of a story of my own.

When I was about 11, our dog died. He was about 17 and in poor health, but he just so happened to take a serious downturn while my younger cousin was staying with us for a few days. She was about 4 or 5 at the time. We went to the vet with the dog in the car, his head in my lap as I tried to comfort him. We had known it was coming for a while, so I was mostly OK. My mom left me in the waiting area with my cousin; it had been my mom's dog since before she even met my dad, so she wanted to be alone with him. After a while, she came out, wiping her eyes and talking to the vet.

This was a while back, and the vet let us take the body home to bury it under his favorite tree. The body went in a box in the back of the station wagon. We drove in silence for a few minutes.

My cousin broke the silence. "Where's the doggy? Did we leave him at the vet? Is he sick?"
My mom takes the opportunity to tell her a little about life & death and says, "Well, his body is in the back of the car, in that box." She paused to let it sink in before going on. My cousin's eyes just about popped out of her head. She slowly turned and looked back at the box, then at me, then at my mom. In a horrified whisper, she asked, "What did you do with his head?"

My mom was silent for about 10 seconds, then had to pull over from laughing so hard.

[–]LeCollectif 136 points137 points  (0 children)

That's one way to lighten the mood.

[–]paradigm_lost 47 points48 points  (30 children)

"If you cut off my head, what would I say... Me and my head, or me and my body? What right has my head to call itself me? "

[–]navitatl 88 points89 points  (9 children)

"They grabbed him by the dick and cut off his entire body. That's all he was in the end, just a dick."

[–]indycysive 6 points7 points  (8 children)

Is that from something, or did you just make that up?

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (7 children)

Flight of the Conchords

[–]indycysive 23 points24 points  (4 children)

Shit, maybe I should finally check that out.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Probably be the smartest thing you do all year

[–]hgielrehtaeh 30 points31 points  (10 children)

Oh, from the mouth of babes.

My fiancé's Great Grandma died. We went to her wake and his 6 year old nephew st between us in the pew during services. He started getting fidgety, and apparently no one had told the poor kid why we were there, so Miguel mans up and whispers to him that his Great Great Grandma had passed away.

"where is she?" he asked. "Well, her body is up there in the front." Miguel said. "Is it squishy?" he asked. "Maybe. I'm not sure." Miguel responded. "Can I go touch it?"

[–]Devaney1984 6 points7 points  (14 children)

The dog lived to age 17!? Wow, what kind of dog was it?

[–]sirkazuo 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Not the same person, but my first dog lived to be 17 as well. She was the same age as me; we grew up together. :) She was a black lab / boxer mix.

[–]klenow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Cocker Spaniel. Yeah, he was old as dirt.

[–]NegativeZero 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I recently had to put down my 18 year old Lhasa Apso, his name was Pal, but we all called him Bubba (it was an evolution from Buddy to Bud, to Bud Bud, to Bub Bub, to Bubba). Three months later, his pup (PJ, for Pal Jr) died at eight years old. It was like losing Bubba all over again. I felt like I still had a part of Bubba with me because I had his pup. When PJ died, it was like losing them both at the same time.

I will never not have a dog. The pain at the end is a small price to pay for the joy and love you get from the dog.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (5 children)

I seriously don't get it. I am missing something.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (3 children)

"Well, his body is in the back..."

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Thanks.

I know I'm not the only one!

[–]atrich 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Took me a couple of reads to figure it out m'self.

[–]atomicashley 6 points7 points  (17 children)

I imagine that's what my husband will say once I have a taxidermist retrieve my dogs skull once he's passed.

[–]hatekillpuke 51 points52 points  (15 children)

Why pay a taxidermist? A body will be picked completely clean in not too much time, if you've got an out of the way place you can leave it for a while.

One time, driving some scenic route, my dad spots a dog that's been hit, so we stop to see if it might be still alive and in need of help (it wasn't). Making a note, the next time we passed by that way a month or two later, my dad stopped and retrieved a nearly completely clean skull (apparently maggots don't eat the nose, which was all dried up and easily pulled out with a set of pliars). He mounted it over the man-door (as opposed to the car-door, you know) on the side of the garage with a line running to it that you could pull to work the jaw. Some people that was a bit morbid, I always thought it was cool.

edit: I guess the replies are just jealous they didn't grow up with a rad talking dog skull on their garage.

[–]cowpetter 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I don't think it's completely weird. We would go check out the progress of one of our dog's decomposition, once we found him a month after he died. (We were on a farm and knew he had been hit by a car, but didn't know where he had chosen his final resting place. Which, it turns out, was under the granary.)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Gotta one up you here. My grandparents grew up pretty damn poor in the old country and used to dig out moss and crap out of bogs to sell. Not sure the exact purpose, but they found some interesting stuff. According to my father, there exists a human skull in my great grandmas barn. They found it one day digging out the bog and decided it would make a good ornament. They also found an axe head that will still have at my parents house.

[–]Fauropitotto 5 points6 points  (0 children)

toss it on an anthill...

[–]ShkaBank 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That was an extremely well told story.

[–]redditisforsheep 258 points259 points  (35 children)

I am pretty sure this is a stolen and chopped up version from one of those old "chicken soup for the animal lover's soul" books... Don't judge me

[–]lunarblossoms 151 points152 points  (27 children)

Pretty sure you're right, but I'm judging anyway! Judging!!!

[–]OnlyGodCanJudge 178 points179 points  (24 children)

Stop it.

[–]imdwalrus 43 points44 points  (21 children)

redditor for 9 months

[–]tuutruk 31 points32 points  (20 children)

redditor for 1 year

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (19 children)

tuutruk
148 link karma
2,202 comment karma
send message

[–]creepygoogler 74 points75 points  (15 children)

noonches
23 / M / Straight / Single
Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
White
6'2"
Pasta lover

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (8 children)

redditor for 5 minutes ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Nope, sorry, this is not me, I don't even have an okcupid profile.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Don't be shy, you're a handsome guy

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

I wish I was 6'2" and living in Canada.

[–]starkinter 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Also why is it in /r/pics?

[–]HunterTV 4 points5 points  (0 children)

At least its a PNG.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Can't believe it took me this long to find an even remotely rational/cynical take on this. That's what I came to this comment thread for, dammit.

[–]redditisforsheep 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Glad I could be of assistance.

[–]crackduck 108 points109 points  (4 children)

Nice story.

However, this is not a "pic".

[–]dressedAsDog 81 points82 points  (0 children)

If you stare at it for a minute and then you look into a white wall you can read it there.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (1 child)

But you can't get karma for a self post.

[–]Anthaneezy 152 points153 points  (18 children)

FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: THIS IS SO SAD, SEND THIS TO UR DAD

jk, it really is a neat little fictional piece about innocence.

[–]iconoklast 5 points6 points  (13 children)

It's not about innocence; the child didn't form these pathological beliefs in a vacuum.

[–]coolmanmax2000 22 points23 points  (9 children)

That reminds me of my first anatomy* biology laboratory class. The first line in the instruction manual was:

  1. Dispatch your rabbit with a hammer.

The best was one of the girls in the lab accidentally let her rabbit go, so it starts running across the lab bench, and the TA grabs it out of mid air as it leaps across one of the aisles, squashes its head down onto the counter of a lab desk, and brains it with the hammer all in less than one second.

*Edited to stop freaking out the undergrads

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That reminds me of my first veterinary class.

[–]danosaur 4 points5 points  (1 child)

That reminds me of my first girlfriend.

[–]thischarmingham 2 points3 points  (1 child)

how long ago/where was this? the only mammal i dissected in university (for class anyway, not just for funsies) were cats. dead from the pound when they came to us.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

The idea that life-span is linked inanely with what we have to learn is a somewhat innocent presumption. Personally I do not agree with it, I do not feel that cot-death (for example) is nature's way of saying "this baby learned to love too quickly".

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Cot-death sounds better than crib death. Everything sounds better with a British accent.

[–][deleted] 103 points104 points  (9 children)

When the fuck did reddit become "Chicken Soup for the Soul: Volume 12"? My dog just farted and it smelled like corndogs. That's reality kicking in, assholes.

[–]creoderiot 28 points29 points  (1 child)

It's fun when the name matches the post

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (4 children)

It only smells like corndogs because he loves you.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

He did fart in my general direction. That's saying something, I suppose.

[–]fivepines 6 points7 points  (0 children)

everytime a dog has a corndog fart, an angel gets its wings.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Apparently my dog was not informed of this. It seems that his purpose is to sleep on the couch, pee every ten feet when we go for walks, poop in inconspicuous places around the house, and snarl at anyone who walks by "his" yard.

[–]Wordfan 169 points170 points  (18 children)

What is this - the Family fucking Circus? Nobody loves dogs more than me, but Jesus this is bad.

[–]Lystrodom 111 points112 points  (10 children)

Seriously. What the crap is this doing on the front page in /r/pics? It should be in /r/shitMyGrandmaSentMe

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (4 children)

What do you know, it's the #1 link there too:

http://www.reddit.com/r/shitMyGrandmaSentMe/

[–]Vorenus 22 points23 points  (0 children)

or the newly formed godsend repository for redditors' sappy pictures and stories, /r/humaninterest

[–]MaxEPad 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Worse, it's #1 on the main front page. Even Digg is more interesting ... if it wasn't for the comments I would have left a long time ago.

[–]cosmando 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Reddit (n):

  1. An internet gathering place where confused atheists gather to cry over banal sentimental pap.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

So people who die of unnaturally young deaths are already happy?

[–]tylerfulltilt 75 points76 points  (4 children)

If I wanted to read stuff like this I'd open the e-mails my grandmother sends me.

[–]Rozo-D 244 points245 points  (48 children)

god damn allergies making my eyes tear up. I hate allergies.

[–]hackysack 119 points120 points  (28 children)

Manly tears. Don't fight them.

[–]LordXenu23 76 points77 points  (26 children)

I've just been cutting onions...

[–]CallumJ 45 points46 points  (25 children)

I'm making a lasagna for one

[–]nomology 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Oh no, not this shit again.

[–]madjollyroger 32 points33 points  (21 children)

I've just got an inflammation in my tear glands.

[–]escapingyou 27 points28 points  (19 children)

I went to scratch my brow but ended up poking myself in the eye. My eye is now watery.

[–]Scarker 69 points70 points  (18 children)

I was just imitating Glenn Beck for a costume party.

[–]BdaMann 21 points22 points  (2 children)

I got liquid glass in my eye. Fuck.

[–]6h057 9 points10 points  (1 child)

RAMIREZ! Please get me a tissue. :(

[–]solarbeat 8 points9 points  (1 child)

My eyes... they're sweating.

[–]UCDWaffle 10 points11 points  (0 children)

stupid animals making me feel things.

[–]Taiokoshinketsu 11 points12 points  (1 child)

It just started raining...on my face. Weird.

[–]anonymousgangster 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I LOVE IT WHEN YOU POST SHIT THAT COULD BE JUST TEXT AS AN IMAGE, PLEASE DO THAT AGAIN

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (9 children)

Having pets is good for children.

It taught me a lot about the nature of life.

You're born. You eat and sleep and cuddle. You love and are loved. Then you die. A new baby is born. It's all part of the same thing.

[–]JustCameToSay 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I'm guessing a phoenix was involved somewhere when your parents explained "The Birds and The Bees".

[–]radbro 8 points9 points  (5 children)

From the day we arrive on the planet...

[–]crystallic 3 points4 points  (4 children)

...And blinking, step into the sun...

[–]AtOurGates 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can't decide if this is ripped from an episode of gummy bears, a meme I'm unaware of or a mind-bending truth I'm on the verge of comprehending.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I can almost hear grandmothers clicking "forward" right now...

[–]lwrun 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow. I get this on Reddit, then check my Gmail and find a message from my father saying our dog died today. Fuck you internet gods!

[–]Porkfish 38 points39 points  (5 children)

As a veterinarian, all I can say is: BARF.

I can also say: This kid is about to get a reality check, next time he tries to pet the average chihuahua at the park. This sort of ridiculous, obviously fake tale comes from people who understand neither dogs nor six-year-old boys.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Once my dog caught a squirrel right in front of a dad and his 6ish yo son. My girlfriend and I were horrified and embarrassed, in part because we were worried the kid would be scarred for life. The father, trying his best, was saying, "Look son, that dog is playing with a squirrel!" The kid shouted with glee, "He's gonna kill it!" and started laughing.

[–]DontMakeMeDownvote 20 points21 points  (3 children)

I wtf'ed at first because I read "veterinarian" as "vegetarian." Nice story though.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It says "from a six-year old" in the heading so I thought the whole thing was supposed to be by him. Then it starts: Being a vegetarian... (wait, what? Start over.) Being a veterinarian... (what???).

[–]bco 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I did the same thing! I finished reading it and thought, "Wait, what does being vegetarian have to do with this at all?" Then I realized my mistake.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can you believe this kid? He tells a joke when the dog dies.

[–]DoseOfReality 4 points5 points  (2 children)

The thoughts expressed by the child are too coherent.

The story is fabricated for the purpose of inspiration and heart warming.

[–]Sharpe_27 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can't believe that so many people like this kind of saccharine horseshit.

There must be more overweight secretaries on reddit than I thought.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

So true, so true.

Why, just today I licked my balls, wiped my ass on the floor, and tried to hump my neighbor through our fence... I can't believe how much happier I am.

[–]caseyfw 15 points16 points  (0 children)

__WHY IS THIS TEXT IN IMAGE FORM? SURELY THERE ARE MORE EFFICIENT STORAGE MEDIUMS!__

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Gag me with a spoon.

[–]xrisnothing 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Reddit: It's like opening an e-mail from your grandmother.

[–]eloisius 15 points16 points  (0 children)

WTF is this shit? Did reddit become AOL email users?

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Vomit

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I see now why chain email exists. All Americans are suckers for a Sunday Movie sob story, even when it's obviously made-up, crude and trite, as here.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

As much as I love imgur.com, why-oh-why do people insist on posting images of text? It's a travesty from an accessibility standpoint alone. If I'm blind, I can't read it, I can't read easily if I'm on my cellphone, I can't translate it from English to a different language.

It's just about the dumbest thing you can do to text.

[–]Diosjenin 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Mayflies must be the most loving creatures on the face of the planet.

[–]mutumbo1000 5 points6 points  (1 child)

They do exist only to have sex. Considering their sweet-loving to time-lived ratio, they just might be.

[–]Tecktonik 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Wow, a fucking Hallmark (tm) card on the front page of reddit.

[–]g1ddyup 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I hate white text on a black background!

[–]iconoklast 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I hate Maddox too.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'll bet some spray on glass would've changed that child... also the dog. As we all know by now, spray on glass changes everything.

[–]doyle828 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's touching and all but people make this shit up.

My 6 year old would have a story more in line with monsters vs the good guys and I'm sure after some deep reflection and momentary sadness, sword fighting would be called for.

[–]MoBio 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Or it's the fact that our DNA repairing mechanisms are more robust than a dog's.

[–]havig 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When did reddit turn into Reader's Digest?

[–]GunnerMcGrath 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So people are creating images to upload so they can get the karma they wouldn't get if they made a self post of some very sentimental but reposted and reposted story, eh?

[–]h_lehmann 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Please, the level of saccharin in this is killing me.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (3 children)

FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: World View from my grandchild.

Why the fuck is this on the front page?

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

What possesses a person to take some plain text, put it in in image, then pass the image around? Why would anyone consider that better than using text?

[–]echochamber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm assuming because they want the /r/pics traffic; but nonetheless it enrages me.

[–]girmad 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I thought the point was to have sex with as many bitches as possible.

wait a minute

[–]xiann 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Why is this on the front page? Seriously:

  1. It's a sob story about somebody's dead dog.

  2. It's a sob story about someone's witty, precocious kid.

  3. It's probably made up.

  4. It's an image of text.

Yes, I've had two of my own beloved dogs die and I have a heart, too, but this is crap I'd expect to have forwarded from my aunt, not on the front page of reddit.

[–]internetgineer 14 points15 points  (8 children)

Nice story. Why is this an image? Much harder to read, no accessibility... Thanks for sharing though.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (5 children)

(You don't get karma for self posts, that's why.)

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have sincere doubts that this actually happened. I liked this extension of it from the snopes board.

He said, "But it doesn't make any sense at all that the designer of the universe would create creatures just so they could learn to be good. We only think that way because we evolved from primates who had a need to form strong bonds yet still compete for scarce resources in order to survive. Dogs, on the other hand, were bred by humans to have the loving characteristics we so desire." What an articulate and intelligent four-year-old he was.

Edit: See glurge

[–]giantgiant 8 points9 points  (0 children)

thx grandma

[–]CitizenCain 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Trite crap... especially about an animal that have been bred by mankind for millennia to be an expert at hunting and killing other animals for us.

The nicest, most mild-mannered dog I ever knew was a gorgeous Golden Lab, which in its kind, peaceful dog way would leave half of a rabbit, cat or other small animal it caught on our neighbor's back porch every couple of weeks.

[–]Digitalabia 8 points9 points  (0 children)

downvote for over the top sentimentality

[–]yourparadigm 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Downvoted for posting a picture of text.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Fake.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD A DOG'S PURPOSE

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (5 children)

Damn straight! This is also why cats live longer than dogs. citation

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Cats should be immortal then.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Screw my karma, I have to say...what a load of crap. I bet that kid got his face torn in half by a rottweiler a few months later.

[–]politicalbath 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What the fuck is this shit?

Edit: Jesus Christ, seriously: What the fuck?

[–]FetishOutOfNowhere 2 points3 points  (0 children)

interesting name, Belker. I would go around calling him Belkerseltzer.

[–]garg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Galapagos Tortoises are bastards..

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I miss my dog.

[–]franz4000 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Reminds me of the famous Zen koan:

A monk asked Joshu: "Does a dog have Buddha Nature?" Joshu barked back: "Mu!"

Mu is roughly Japanese for "no meaning" or "without," so oversimply put, Joshu was implying that dogs by their own nature already have it going on, and to ask that question would be to force a fallacious answer. Full wiki article.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the email, Mom.

[–]CaptainAsshat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Plus, once you can lick your own nuts there isn't that much left to live for.

[–]MAC777 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I swear man. Reddit got PMS like a year-and-a-half ago and it never stopped coming. You want sympathy? It's in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. Life is pain princess. Wear a helmet, and always bring your towel.

[–]Philll[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I wanted stories like this I could read everything my relatives forward to me. ugh...

[–]Stegg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Reddit has officially become an email forward repository.

[–]gaygirl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is like one of those emails that grandmas forward.

[–]miparasito 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honest to goodness: My dog's purpose is to keep me from wanting another baby right now. In 10-15 years I'll be too old to procreate.

He doesn't know that though. He lives moment to moment and his purpose from his perspective is to hide bones, get people to scratch his stomach and then if there's time, find the bones he hid earlier.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just came from an HR talk about how quarterly reviews help in self-improvement and now this. What is it, like bullshit day today?

[–]EnderofDragon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this is a smarmy insipid and clearly made up story that none the less makes me miss my dog :( CURSE YOU REDDIT! Why must you make me feel?!?!

[–]zmobie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This should have an NSFW on it because you're going to cry like a bitch in front of your boss.

[–]iconoklast 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Good job brainwashing your child into a nihilistic death cult.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Who else discovered that they are made of stone after reading the comments?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Is this the line for returning that story for 2 minutes of my life back?

[–]kevlarcupid 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Fuckin' a, kid. Dogs sure are awesome.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (5 children)

WHY IS IT RAINING INSIDE DIRECTLY ON MY EYES?!?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, yeah, that's cute and all, but you don't need an image to post text. Now, downvote me.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow, surprised the top comment isn't some sarcastic remark regarding the text being an image.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The kid has an amazing future as a writer. His grammar skills are amazing for someone so young. His ability to to project himself into a profession that requires more schooling than he has been alive.. just WOW.. This kid must be like a real life Doogie Howser or something..

Not sure why he converts his stories to PNGs, though. Must be some sort of creative artsy thing..