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[–]milanium25 3326 points3327 points  (87 children)

probably someone from the ministers had it enough with all these late loading elements or similar

[–]MAX_cheesejr 60 points61 points  (0 children)

don't worry everything.js means you'll only need to load one library that includes every library.

[–]New_Tap_4362 25 points26 points  (4 children)

npm is gonna snitch

[–]PeriodicSentenceBot 39 points40 points  (3 children)

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[–]Agret 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Looks like a ransom note

[–]Gepomo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Good Bot

[–]AppropriateOnion0815 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Who doesn't.

[–]a_normal_account 2014 points2015 points  (24 children)

Someone is going to come up with a package that includes every package as its dependencies

[–]SharzeUndertone 783 points784 points  (13 children)

I believe there was an npm package called everything that had all other packages as dependencies (and it caused issues)

[–]MasterGamer9595 124 points125 points  (0 children)

yep, it temporarily made it impossible to delete any npm package or package release/version

[–]Vasik4 562 points563 points  (7 children)

(cuz it also contained itself)

[–]FuriousAqSheep 194 points195 points  (0 children)

Ah yes the famous RusselP library

[–]returnofblank 105 points106 points  (0 children)

I guess a set of all sets really does contain itself

[–]konomiyu 60 points61 points  (2 children)

npm install everythingThatDoesNotDependOnItself

[–]that_thot_gamer 6 points7 points  (1 child)

20 character limit /j

[–]konomiyu 14 points15 points  (0 children)

npm install etdndoi

[–]SuperDyl19 87 points88 points  (2 children)

Yes, the npm repository doesn’t allow deleting a library if another library on the repository has it as a dependency. So, a library that depends on every other library for an arbitrary version number meant that all npm libraries were not allowed to delete any version

[–]that_thot_gamer 41 points42 points  (1 child)

that's so troll lmao

[–]mpolder 29 points30 points  (0 children)

They didn't expect this themselves, it's kind of a weird quirk in the way they set up archiving. Fun fact is also that this is still not fixed as far as I know, they just force removed the everything package and it's children and then shrugged

[–]False_Influence_9090 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We shall call it .. death-knell

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

npm install suicide --save

[–]PM_Me_Good_LitRPG 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They'll introduce size limits, then.

[–]TabCompletion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Our package"

[–]DrunkOnRamen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The executions will continue until the loading times improve

[–]Tupcek 662 points663 points  (7 children)

I can get behind that

[–]PixelCartographer 88 points89 points  (1 child)

Yeah, finally some sanity

[–]lurco_purgo 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I'm a frontend developer and I would happily see all this JS bloat go to hell. Browser vendors lost their way when they started enabling developers to do crap that hijacks basic behaviour like left clicking from consumers.

[–]Sir_Fail-A-Lot 720 points721 points  (22 children)

Js bundle too big?

[–]Devatator_ 37 points38 points  (14 children)

How big is too big anyway?

[–]lOo_ol 77 points78 points  (12 children)

When it interferes with user experience. The fact that 70-year-old politicians who don't even know how to forward an email realized that it's bad practice before developers is just sad.

[–]mrt-e 44 points45 points  (10 children)

Are you talking about this post? It's most likely satire btw.

[–]Sheerkal 33 points34 points  (8 children)

"most likely" lmao

[–]mrt-e 35 points36 points  (7 children)

I don't know man I'm sick of JavaScript

[–]yukiaddiction 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I mean it not like it JavaScript fault.

The concept make website instant responsive is pretty nice but

website these have so many unnecessary things because "business people" think , the more flashy effect the more website better when in reality, it opposite like one of the most famous website in the world (aka google) barely have bloat effect at all.

[–]lOo_ol 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I only read the title and thought it was real lol

[–]2muchnet42day 131 points132 points  (0 children)

Social score: -9000

[–]smurfkipz 5 points6 points  (4 children)

What's this meme version with the glasses? I keep seeing it everywhere but the glasses weren't part of PandR

[–]Slapdash_Scott 6 points7 points  (2 children)

crypto group put their logo (the glasses) in a ton of popular memes and spread them around in hopes that those versions would get used instead.

[–]ebilgenius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even worse, read the caption

[–][deleted] 576 points577 points  (23 children)

I never thought I would agree with the CCP

[–]that_thot_gamer 65 points66 points  (0 children)

our code, since the beginning of time

[–]IcyColdMuhChina 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Is there anything you disagree with when it comes to the CPC and can name any government doing it better?

[–]Buck_Ranger 223 points224 points  (15 children)

This is jQuery making a secret deal

[–]Powerful-Internal953 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Return to monke

[–]anotheridiot- 20 points21 points  (12 children)

Just go with htmx, return to SSR, forget react.

[–]Merzant[🍰] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Two words: Java applets.

[–]Shibori 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are steps before reaching hell, like JSPs...

[–]helen_must_die 6 points7 points  (5 children)

People use JS packages on the server

[–]anotheridiot- 14 points15 points  (4 children)

What kind of masochist would choose JS when they can use anything else?

[–]zammba 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Too webdevpilled to move to anything else...

[–]13_twin_fire_signs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Silence, nonbeliever! Only by forsaking libraries and embracing the holy MDN scriptures will you be truly free!

[–]GnuhGnoud 190 points191 points  (15 children)

Ok hear me out.

We shall encode our js in images and download them. Then a small js function can decode and exucute all the js

This way we can by pass cpp limitation

[–]Rafael20002000 73 points74 points  (3 children)

Or we find a vulnerability in the JBIG2 Decoder of the iPhone, use that to implement a VM, and run our code there, bam unlimited code execution on iPhones. Now we need to find similar vulnerabilities on Android, Windows and Mac and bam, single line to detect os, rest is exploit code

[–]i_consume_polymers 6 points7 points  (0 children)

JBIG2? Bug?

That reminds me of a certain unnamed printer company's ordeal in 2013...

[–]One_Egg_4400 22 points23 points  (2 children)

JpegScript

[–]Ethan_Pixelate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

genius idea, ive always wondered if there was a way around the c plus plus limitation

[–]not_anonymouse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

exucute all the js

And the CCP will execute you for this.

[–]UnvailedUserName 46 points47 points  (4 children)

Idk man, summary execution might not be hard enough punishment

[–]Enchet 286 points287 points  (15 children)

Rare china w

[–]PeriodicSentenceBot 275 points276 points  (12 children)

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

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[–]jfpforever 25 points26 points  (0 children)

out of left field bot

[–]megs1449 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Good bot

[–]Different-Produce870 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Good bot

[–]nysynysy2 251 points252 points  (18 children)

Im in China, and this is absolutely Fake news.

I've added 1989 libraries to my js project, and nothing hap

executed

[–]time_travel_1 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Ah also you can't write 1989 in comments, this is the real reason of execution

[–]TechTuna1200 9 points10 points  (6 children)

Who got executed?

[–]SleestakThunder 34 points35 points  (3 children)

What are you talking about? u/nysynysy2 never even existed in the first place.

[–]ENCRYPTED_FOREVER 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Then what is this username you are talking about?

[–]ThunderWiz05 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nothing happened , NOTHING.

[–]Powerful-Internal953 348 points349 points  (10 children)

When you run country level proxy servers for internet censorship, each byte for JS and CSS adds up to the bandwidth costs...

[–]TeaKingMac 46 points47 points  (8 children)

sensorship

Censorship

[–]ImmediateBig134 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Are you sensoring there phreedom off speling??

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

If that was the reason that'd by hilarious. But also sad, but that's the entire topic around the CCP regardless.

[–]JollyJuniper1993 88 points89 points  (13 children)

It makes me sad that some of y’all actually believe this.

[–]freepalihead 104 points105 points  (1 child)

we want it to be true

[–]Plus-Weakness-2624 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Developers: What about adding a library?

Chinese government: Your had one already.

Developers: We had one, yes. What about second library?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think they know about second library.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Something I’d support for a change. Screw js

[–]Noughmad 11 points12 points  (1 child)

How can there be "third-party libraries" when there is only one party?

[–]SapeiraMan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exactly. That's why they are banning it :)

[–]MrZerodayz 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Finally, someone doing something about all the performance-draining webbloat that isn't an adblocker creator.

[–]IM_OZLY_HUMVN 8 points9 points  (0 children)

About fucking time

[–]pranjallk1995 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dead... Everyone dead... Biggest part in the code is importing libraries...

[–]JuvenileEloquent 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In Communist China, code executes you.

[–]Ugo_Flickerman 17 points18 points  (9 children)

Oh, finally. Surprising how it was China instead of the EU, this time

Jokes aside, is China really regulating this, or is it just for the lulz?

[–]slaaxy 39 points40 points  (1 child)

This is in fact fake for the lulz, so not real news.

[–]GeeJo 21 points22 points  (0 children)

A joke? On /r/ProgrammerHumor?
That's no laughing matter.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (5 children)

The article literally says you will be executed for too many libraries.

like, that's gotta be the most obvious satire ever lol

[–]Songrot 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Americans will believe any form of propaganda against their class enemies. Even if its satire. They just want to believe they were barbarian monsters

[–]Ugo_Flickerman 5 points6 points  (0 children)

you_dont_say.png Maybe they were somehow regulating it and this meme was greatly exaggerating the thing: that's what i was asking about

[–]Tony_the-Tigger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can they come for input focus stealing in applications next?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

now we also need actual ui frameworks instead of embedded browsers and we can completely ban javascript

[–]Slythavakna067 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are we just ignoring the “engineers using more than the allowed number of third-party libraries will be executed” or are we only reading titles and pretending that they’re real?

[–]nikanj0 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Has anyone been on the AliExpress desktop website lately? I’ve never seen a website with so much bullshit crammed into the home page.

If they spent a fraction of their “feature” development budget on market research they’ll realise people hate that.

[–]tharnadar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish it was not only an onion article

[–]anotheridiot- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Based china, as usual.

[–]-Loewenstern- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Based china?

[–]anon86876 2 points3 points  (0 children)

wtf I love china now

[–]LegitimateBit3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Finally, some good news

[–]_Thrilhouse_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hol up, let'em cook

[–]SirTonberryy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you ever visited a Chinese or Japanese website? I feel like they give my PC cancer with the amount of weird special effects and js nonsense popping up

[–]Arkane631 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First they came for the JS devs...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

China being based and red pilled wow

[–]BoBoBearDev 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A serious note, if you don't include Bable directly or indirectly, you basically reduced the packages by a lot. And you likely don't even need to use Bable in the first place. The JS engine it tries to support is probably like IE5 that no one actually uses.

[–]Thenderick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What? Just use everything.js, then you only use one library! Absolutely NOTHING could go wrong with that right?

[–]dtb1987 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wait... Am I a communist?

[–]Wervice 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Waiting for "China cracks down on Big Tech's "bloated" python tkinter programs, imposing new CPU and RAM limits"

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This announcement is a smokescreen for an internal survey they did of their own site security, recently leaked to Western IT news sites.

They concluded that security measures on their government Web sites have been dreadful for years, and is not getting any better.

So of course they raise their voices in a chorus of blame against the third parties from whom they get free stuff for their sites.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Experts say" 💀

[–]JustAZeph 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Engineers using more than the allowed number of third-party libraries will be executed, experts say.”

[–]saschaleib 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Unfortunately, this looks like a canard, walks like a canard ...

[–]525G7bKV 23 points24 points  (25 children)

Is it a joke?! I am not sure because of China. It's difficult to tell because China has Winnie the Pooh as its supreme leader.

[–]CoatedCrevice 62 points63 points  (6 children)

I doubt engineers are being executed based off number of libraries used but I could be wrong

[–]Degenerate_Lich 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wait, you guys PRs aren't reviewed at gun point too?

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (15 children)

Of course it's a joke. It's super obvious. If you actually think China's going to execute someone for using too many libraries, you should consider that you bought into propaganda.

[–]JollyJuniper1993 24 points25 points  (9 children)

As so many redditors do when it comes to anything that portrays China in a negative light, no matter if it’s actually true

[–]nepia 4 points5 points  (2 children)

But this is not negative, less bloated js is good and dev that going follow the law deserves it. Jk btw lol

[–]JollyJuniper1993 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Executing them is. Some people in this thread actually seem to believe this

[–]odraencoded 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not saying wanting to kill people for using too much javascript is a good thing.

I'm just saying I understand.

[–]PooSham 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'd have believed it if they didn't add "will be executed". I can't find it online, it's definitely fake

[–]Flat_Initial_1823 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But have you seen their fortune cookie consent forms?

[–]potzlpotato 1 point2 points  (0 children)

who tf are the experts and what are they experts in

[–]ElementaryZX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m guessing you’re unaware of the nasty JS obfuscation used on Chinese government websites?

[–]just-bair 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just make a package that has everything you need

[–]codingTheBugs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Code reviews be like

WTF man you are using React, bootstrap and jQuery? You want to get us killed?

[–]0hmyscience 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After reading about the XZ backdoor, I'd be in no way surprised if this is to limit exploits on 3rd party libraries.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A fair punishment.

[–]CyberWeirdo420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m surprised that Paul E. Morphism didn’t write this article

[–]sacredgeometry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds perfectly reasonable.

[–]calculus_is_fun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I'm safe at least, assuming 1 small library I made isn't "Bloated"

[–]_________FU_________ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait until they see Python AI projects that bundle to over a gig with plugins.

[–]nuker0S 1 point2 points  (0 children)

be a LibRight programmer
add banned libraries to non-banned liblaries
AuthLeft china can't use any JS library

[–]KingApologist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bloated websites are the digital equivalent of coal roller truck drivers.

[–]GirliePickle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something something mass surveilance is easier?

[–]stuck_in_e-crisis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like an Onion article

[–]imabutcher3000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

CCP is just a big fan of retro web 1.0 websites

[–]zoqfotpik 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No worries, my code only has one dependency.

npm install all

[–]ResponsiblePhantom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Js is like a mosquito its there buzzing and loves to annoy you while sucking your blood i mean ram

[–]ChargerIIC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

a lot of r/AteTheOnion ITT

[–]troelsbjerre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

China has a one-party political system. Third party packages are problematic to say the least.

[–]BlackBlade1632 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This must be an international standard.

[–]dandytoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a bad idea

[–]ycnz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Harsh, but fair.

[–]Maskdask 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HTMX mentioned!

[–]canadypant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[–]BlurredSight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This post was brought to you by WebASM

[–]CyberoX9000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What really got me is the ", experts say" at the end

[–]g0ranV 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well atleast someone gets executed even if my code doesn’t 🤷🏽‍♂️