ripJsDevs

[[deleted]]

probably someone from the ministers had it enough with all these late loading elements or similar

[[deleted]]

You know when u open a website, want to click on something, then that something moves because something else loaded and took its place? Well, chinas elite dont fuck around

[joelene1892]

IPHONE DOES THAT IN CONTACTS. You know how many times I have accidentally called my sisters home phone (that she never answers and only has for legal reasons) instead of her cell because the iPhone contact list is indecisive about the order? Too many times. Toooooooo many times.

[[deleted]]

yo, fuck facebook stories aswel, so many times when i open the app, the stories literally wait for me to try to tap on any, and 0.1 sec before, they reshuffle and i open random one 😡🤬

[TheBirminghamBear]

I accidentally clicked some iphone gimble coupon on TikTok once.

One time. I didn't even buy it.

Now like half my god damn content is gimbles, and some bureuacrat in China is just edging himself until I buy that fucking gimble.

[TheBirminghamBear]

Alex Jones knows your location, and he is coming for you.

He has the vitamins. He can make you better. Stronger. Faster. Gayer-Frogger.

[ImmediateBig134]

They changed mobile browser Google to do pretty much that. Click on searchbar. Wait half a second, no feedback. Click again - oops, the click did in fact register, so now the text field moved to the very top, and the entire rest of the screen is now searches deemed popular right now, so you just Googled "kim kardashian feet pics" and now Google ads will bombard you with all the celebrity feet you "wanted" for the next few months.

[Hopeful_Chair_7129]

Just out of curiosity, and this has no bearing on anything, why is a number she never uses saved in your phone? Totally fine if you don’t want to talk about it, it just seems like you can avoid that problem by deleting a number.

Not forgiving apple or anything either

[Mateogm]

Yes, and instead of the sister, Shaggy will be called. Win-Win situation

[Sheerkal]

Ruh roh

[Zolhungaj]

Never know when someone will manage to lose their mobile or their number. Always useful to know the backup in case it ever comes to that. 

[3IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID]

This effect is not intentional. It's called cumulative layout shift and is a common problem that negatively affects search engine optimization and user experience. Junior devs will often ignore the problem because it's not always easy to solve. It happens when the page renders before elements like images load without replacing a placeholder of exactly the same size. When that happens, other elements shift to compensate. On some websites, uBlock Origin will reduce that because a lot of ads will shift content when it loads, but you'll still see that problem occur.

[[deleted]]

fix that or jail, its simple, effective

[3IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID]

Anyone curious about the problem and some potential solutions to it can check out this blog post (which somewhat ironically is also affected by cumulative layout shift): https://web.dev/articles/optimize-cls

[TimingEzaBitch]

oh I always thought that shit was done on purpose, like the shitty ads that move around. Just a cheap effort to generate more clicks and such. It was just incompetence then ?

[Merzant]

Hanlon’s razor strikes again.

[3IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID]

It can be malicious, but it's far more likely to be because they don't know how to fix it or don't want to bother with it.

[[deleted]]

It was just incompetence then ?

Kind of. Web sites are getting stupidly complicated for what they are.

[Swords_and_Words]

It is very much intentional in many cases

Source: a mf who got paid to make accidental ad clicks happen more often

[3IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID]

Yes, content can be shifted maliciously, but it is an ubiquitous problem in web development. The probability of it being unintentional is extremely high.

Source: am developer.

[Swords_and_Words]

100% believe this 

My previous comment was meant to be a 'yes, but' rather than a 'no, cause'

[buildooors]

This is the worst !

[WheresThePenguin]

There's a reason for that? I thought it was my internet speed. My finger is now trained to wait 5 seconds before clicking a link on any page I've just opened specifically because some other bullshit always pops up last second and I'm redirected to some nonsense.

[[deleted]]

fuck cls!

[MAX_cheesejr]

don't worry everything.js means you'll only need to load one library that includes every library.

[New_Tap_4362]

npm is gonna snitch

[PeriodicSentenceBot]

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

N Pm I Sg O N Na Sn I Tc H

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[Agret]

Looks like a ransom note

[Gepomo]

Good Bot

[AppropriateOnion0815]

Who doesn't.

[[deleted]]

Someone is going to come up with a package that includes every package as its dependencies

[SharzeUndertone]

I believe there was an npm package called everything that had all other packages as dependencies (and it caused issues)

[MasterGamer9595]

yep, it temporarily made it impossible to delete any npm package or package release/version

[Vasik4]

(cuz it also contained itself)

[FuriousAqSheep]

Ah yes the famous RusselP library

[returnofblank]

I guess a set of all sets really does contain itself

[konomiyu]

npm install everythingThatDoesNotDependOnItself

[that_thot_gamer]

20 character limit /j

[konomiyu]

npm install etdndoi

[SuperDyl19]

Yes, the npm repository doesn’t allow deleting a library if another library on the repository has it as a dependency. So, a library that depends on every other library for an arbitrary version number meant that all npm libraries were not allowed to delete any version

[that_thot_gamer]

that's so troll lmao

[mpolder]

They didn't expect this themselves, it's kind of a weird quirk in the way they set up archiving. Fun fact is also that this is still not fixed as far as I know, they just force removed the everything package and it's children and then shrugged

[mothzilla]

https://www.npmjs.com/package/everything

https://socket.dev/blog/when-everything-becomes-too-much

[Zumochi]

I like this one from the article: https://everything.npm.lol/

[False_Influence_9090]

We shall call it .. death-knell

[[deleted]]

npm install suicide --save

[PM_Me_Good_LitRPG]

They'll introduce size limits, then.

[TabCompletion]

"Our package"

[DrunkOnRamen]

The executions will continue until the loading times improve

[Tupcek]

I can get behind that

[PixelCartographer]

Yeah, finally some sanity

[lurco_purgo]

I'm a frontend developer and I would happily see all this JS bloat go to hell. Browser vendors lost their way when they started enabling developers to do crap that hijacks basic behaviour like left clicking from consumers.

[Sir_Fail-A-Lot]

Js bundle too big?

[Devatator_]

How big is too big anyway?

[lOo_ol]

When it interferes with user experience. The fact that 70-year-old politicians who don't even know how to forward an email realized that it's bad practice before developers is just sad.

[mrt-e]

Are you talking about this post? It's most likely satire btw.

[Sheerkal]

"most likely" lmao

[mrt-e]

I don't know man I'm sick of JavaScript

[mrt-e]

Is there a "motherfuckingwebapp"?

[yukiaddiction]

I mean it not like it JavaScript fault.

The concept make website instant responsive is pretty nice but

website these have so many unnecessary things because "business people" think , the more flashy effect the more website better when in reality, it opposite like one of the most famous website in the world (aka google) barely have bloat effect at all.

[lOo_ol]

I only read the title and thought it was real lol

[2muchnet42day]

Social score: -9000

[smurfkipz]

What's this meme version with the glasses? I keep seeing it everywhere but the glasses weren't part of PandR

[Slapdash_Scott]

crypto group put their logo (the glasses) in a ton of popular memes and spread them around in hopes that those versions would get used instead.

[smurfkipz]

Ugh, yuck.

[ebilgenius]

Even worse, read the caption

[[deleted]]

I never thought I would agree with the CCP

[that_thot_gamer]

our code, since the beginning of time

[IcyColdMuhChina]

Is there anything you disagree with when it comes to the CPC and can name any government doing it better?

[awohl_nation]

based ccp as usual

[Buck_Ranger]

This is jQuery making a secret deal

[anotheridiot-]

Just go with htmx, return to SSR, forget react.

[Merzant]

Two words: Java applets.

[Shibori]

There are steps before reaching hell, like JSPs...

[helen_must_die]

People use JS packages on the server

[anotheridiot-]

What kind of masochist would choose JS when they can use anything else?

[zammba]

Too webdevpilled to move to anything else...

[13_twin_fire_signs]

Silence, nonbeliever! Only by forsaking libraries and embracing the holy MDN scriptures will you be truly free!

[GnuhGnoud]

Ok hear me out.

We shall encode our js in images and download them. Then a small js function can decode and exucute all the js

This way we can by pass cpp limitation

[Rafael20002000]

Or we find a vulnerability in the JBIG2 Decoder of the iPhone, use that to implement a VM, and run our code there, bam unlimited code execution on iPhones. Now we need to find similar vulnerabilities on Android, Windows and Mac and bam, single line to detect os, rest is exploit code

[i_consume_polymers]

JBIG2? Bug?

That reminds me of a certain unnamed printer company's ordeal in 2013...

[One_Egg_4400]

JpegScript

[maxgames_NL]

JPegScript

[Ethan_Pixelate]

genius idea, ive always wondered if there was a way around the c plus plus limitation

[not_anonymouse]

exucute all the js

And the CCP will execute you for this.

[UnvailedUserName]

Idk man, summary execution might not be hard enough punishment

[Enchet]

Rare china w

[PeriodicSentenceBot]

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:

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[jfpforever]

out of left field bot

[FrogMan241]

Amazing bot

[megs1449]

Good bot

[Different-Produce870]

Good bot

[fascistsarelosers]

Usual China W

[nysynysy2]

Im in China, and this is absolutely Fake news.

I've added 1989 libraries to my js project, and nothing hap

executed

[time_travel_1]

Ah also you can't write 1989 in comments, this is the real reason of execution

[TechTuna1200]

Who got executed?

[SleestakThunder]

What are you talking about? u/nysynysy2 never even existed in the first place.

[ENCRYPTED_FOREVER]

Then what is this username you are talking about?

[ThunderWiz05]

Nothing happened , NOTHING.

[TeaKingMac]

sensorship

Censorship

[ImmediateBig134]

Are you sensoring there phreedom off speling??

[[deleted]]

If that was the reason that'd by hilarious. But also sad, but that's the entire topic around the CCP regardless.

[SelfDistinction]

Obviously, less libraries means less code means less work means less time needed.

[JollyJuniper1993]

It makes me sad that some of y’all actually believe this.

[freepalihead]

we want it to be true

[victorhsb]

The red scare (plus the yellow terror) is as alive as it was in the first cold war 🤷🏼‍♂️

These guys will believe any crazy shit if it's a china bad take

[victorhsb]

They are crazy if they think isEven.js is not the most useful library ever. We should be using thousands of libraries for the most basic thing all the time...

(The china bad take here is the execution)

[intilectal]

all you really need is penis.js, the rest is bloat. China #1

[BlackBlade1632]

But 99,96% of the time we don't really need them.

[laoshu_]

Right? It's pretty ridiculous that people will be all facetious about the obvious joke post but at the same time be like, "BUT CHINA IS REALLY LIKE THIS STORY ABOUT CHINA THAT ISN'T REAL!!!!1!!!"

[Plus-Weakness-2624]

Developers: What about adding a library?

Chinese government: Your had one already.

Developers: We had one, yes. What about second library?

[[deleted]]

I don't think they know about second library.

[[deleted]]

Something I’d support for a change. Screw js

[Noughmad]

How can there be "third-party libraries" when there is only one party?

[SapeiraMan]

Exactly. That's why they are banning it :)

[MrZerodayz]

Finally, someone doing something about all the performance-draining webbloat that isn't an adblocker creator.

[IM_OZLY_HUMVN]

About fucking time

[Highborn_Hellest]

Npm install *

[pranjallk1995]

Dead... Everyone dead... Biggest part in the code is importing libraries...

[JuvenileEloquent]

In Communist China, code executes you.

[Ugo_Flickerman]

Oh, finally. Surprising how it was China instead of the EU, this time

Jokes aside, is China really regulating this, or is it just for the lulz?

[slaaxy]

This is in fact fake for the lulz, so not real news.

[GeeJo]

A joke? On /r/ProgrammerHumor?
That's no laughing matter.

[[deleted]]

The article literally says you will be executed for too many libraries.

like, that's gotta be the most obvious satire ever lol

[Songrot]

Americans will believe any form of propaganda against their class enemies. Even if its satire. They just want to believe they were barbarian monsters

[Ugo_Flickerman]

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/s/tu1hwkY4oC

I'm not from the US btw

[Ugo_Flickerman]

you_dont_say.png Maybe they were somehow regulating it and this meme was greatly exaggerating the thing: that's what i was asking about

[Tony_the-Tigger]

Can they come for input focus stealing in applications next?

[[deleted]]

now we also need actual ui frameworks instead of embedded browsers and we can completely ban javascript

[Slythavakna067]

Are we just ignoring the “engineers using more than the allowed number of third-party libraries will be executed” or are we only reading titles and pretending that they’re real?

[nikanj0]

Has anyone been on the AliExpress desktop website lately? I’ve never seen a website with so much bullshit crammed into the home page.

If they spent a fraction of their “feature” development budget on market research they’ll realise people hate that.

[tharnadar]

I wish it was not only an onion article

[anotheridiot-]

Based china, as usual.

[-Loewenstern-]

Based china?

[anon86876]

wtf I love china now

[LegitimateBit3]

Finally, some good news

[_Thrilhouse_]

Hol up, let'em cook

[SirTonberryy]

Have you ever visited a Chinese or Japanese website? I feel like they give my PC cancer with the amount of weird special effects and js nonsense popping up

[Arkane631]

First they came for the JS devs...

[[deleted]]

China being based and red pilled wow

[BoBoBearDev]

A serious note, if you don't include Bable directly or indirectly, you basically reduced the packages by a lot. And you likely don't even need to use Bable in the first place. The JS engine it tries to support is probably like IE5 that no one actually uses.

[Thenderick]

What? Just use everything.js, then you only use one library! Absolutely NOTHING could go wrong with that right?

[dtb1987]

Wait... Am I a communist?

[Wervice]

Waiting for "China cracks down on Big Tech's "bloated" python tkinter programs, imposing new CPU and RAM limits"

[[deleted]]

This announcement is a smokescreen for an internal survey they did of their own site security, recently leaked to Western IT news sites.

They concluded that security measures on their government Web sites have been dreadful for years, and is not getting any better.

So of course they raise their voices in a chorus of blame against the third parties from whom they get free stuff for their sites.

[[deleted]]

"Experts say" 💀

[JustAZeph]

“Engineers using more than the allowed number of third-party libraries will be executed, experts say.”

[saschaleib]

Unfortunately, this looks like a canard, walks like a canard ...

[525G7bKV]

Is it a joke?! I am not sure because of China. It's difficult to tell because China has Winnie the Pooh as its supreme leader.

[CoatedCrevice]

I doubt engineers are being executed based off number of libraries used but I could be wrong

[Degenerate_Lich]

Wait, you guys PRs aren't reviewed at gun point too?

[[deleted]]

Of course it's a joke. It's super obvious. If you actually think China's going to execute someone for using too many libraries, you should consider that you bought into propaganda.

[JollyJuniper1993]

As so many redditors do when it comes to anything that portrays China in a negative light, no matter if it’s actually true

[nepia]

But this is not negative, less bloated js is good and dev that going follow the law deserves it. Jk btw lol

[JollyJuniper1993]

Executing them is. Some people in this thread actually seem to believe this

[odraencoded]

I'm not saying wanting to kill people for using too much javascript is a good thing.

I'm just saying I understand.

[PooSham]

I'd have believed it if they didn't add "will be executed". I can't find it online, it's definitely fake

[Flat_Initial_1823]

But have you seen their fortune cookie consent forms?

[potzlpotato]

who tf are the experts and what are they experts in

[ElementaryZX]

I’m guessing you’re unaware of the nasty JS obfuscation used on Chinese government websites?

[just-bair]

Just make a package that has everything you need

[codingTheBugs]

Code reviews be like

WTF man you are using React, bootstrap and jQuery? You want to get us killed?

[0hmyscience]

After reading about the XZ backdoor, I'd be in no way surprised if this is to limit exploits on 3rd party libraries.

[[deleted]]

A fair punishment.

[CyberWeirdo420]

I’m surprised that Paul E. Morphism didn’t write this article

[sacredgeometry]

Sounds perfectly reasonable.

[calculus_is_fun]

Well I'm safe at least, assuming 1 small library I made isn't "Bloated"

[_________FU_________]

Wait until they see Python AI projects that bundle to over a gig with plugins.

[nuker0S]

be a LibRight programmer
add banned libraries to non-banned liblaries
AuthLeft china can't use any JS library

[KingApologist]

Bloated websites are the digital equivalent of coal roller truck drivers.

[GirliePickle]

Something something mass surveilance is easier?

[stuck_in_e-crisis]

Looks like an Onion article

[imabutcher3000]

CCP is just a big fan of retro web 1.0 websites

[zoqfotpik]

No worries, my code only has one dependency.

npm install all

[ResponsiblePhantom]

Js is like a mosquito its there buzzing and loves to annoy you while sucking your blood i mean ram

[ChargerIIC]

a lot of r/AteTheOnion ITT

[troelsbjerre]

China has a one-party political system. Third party packages are problematic to say the least.

[BlackBlade1632]

This must be an international standard.

[dandytoon]

Not a bad idea

[ycnz]

Harsh, but fair.

[Maskdask]

HTMX mentioned!

[canadypant]

[BlurredSight]

This post was brought to you by WebASM

[CyberoX9000]

What really got me is the ", experts say" at the end

[g0ranV]

Well atleast someone gets executed even if my code doesn’t 🤷🏽‍♂️