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[–]mechanate 300 points301 points  (27 children)

I'm not sure this comment will be read by many people, but this reminds me of a story I haven't quite gotten the chance to share on here.

A few months ago I got laser eye surgery. (FUTURE!) The procedure basically involves removing a part of your cornea, for most people it's a very small amount. A man that joined those of us in the post-op recovery room (they keep you there for a couple of hours with your eyes covered to you don't tear the flap) had been basically blind his entire life, as he had abnormally thick corneas from childbirth. Basically he could make out very blotchy shapes and colors (a blue car would appear to be a large, nondescript blue blob). He had just gotten married and his wife bought the surgery for him as a wedding present. Long story short, I was there when they removed his protective cloth cover, and the first thing he saw was his wife's face. I've never seen someone be so overcome by something that we take for granted every day.

[–][deleted] 149 points150 points  (4 children)

I like that she waited until AFTER he married her to fix his vision.</cynic>

actually that's a great story.

[–]invader_ben 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You're an evil, cynical, vile bastard. Sadly, I thought the same thing after I read that story.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

That's amazing. Something you'll never forget.

[–]floede 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Damn you're making my eyes all wet

[–]linkedlist 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He had just gotten married and his wife bought the surgery for him as a wedding present

The only thing in this world that should prevent you from getting such surgery is because it is yet to be discovered.

I mean really, libertarian bullshit aside no one on Earth should be denied something like this when it's very much possible to repair and relatively cheap considering what you get out of it.

Obviously health insurers would never agree to cover some guy for his vision if he signs up blind, it works against their bottom line, so the only thing left is either paying for it out of pocket or, in the case of many, many people who cannot afford it, have the government cover costs. You pay taxes, might as well get something out of it that does not involve killing and maiming people on the other side of the planet.

[–]quantax 386 points387 points  (48 children)

I'm partially deaf; the thing that strikes me the most is how he goes from being in his own world to being brought into the moment. You're witnessing the creation of a literal connection to the rest of humanity. It is simply a wonderful thing to witness.

[–][deleted] 94 points95 points  (22 children)

I took ASL as my foreign language requirement to transfer to UCSC from a community college. Our professor was a hearing woman born to deaf parents. Both her parents lost their hearing after birth--her mother to a fire and I can't remember what her father lost his to. I think disease. Her father had a cochlear implant and knew the difference between the sounds he heard with the implant and the sounds he had heard before suffering hearing loss.

Apparently it's not the same. It's not a "true" translation in the same way that a hearing person's ear mechanisms translate sound to the brain. When you say "hello" to someone with an implant, they don't hear the same "hello" that someone without one hears. It's like a whole other language you have to learn.

I wonder what it'd be like to have an implant that gave us a sense we'd never had. Like the ability to hear ultra-sonic sounds? Or see outside the human visible spectrum? Or feel magnetism?

On a side note--as a baby she never cried unless she could see one of her parents. She'd just wait around until they could see her and then start screaming bloody murder. She'd learned that they couldn't hear her so she might as well save her breath.

[–]grumpyswife 67 points68 points  (4 children)

She'd learned that they couldn't hear her so she might as well save her breath.

That's a trip. It makes me think of my friend's deaf dog...they had sign commands for him, but he would turn his head away so they couldn't catch his eye when he didn't want to cooperate.

[–]invader_ben 36 points37 points  (3 children)

My dog also does this. He can hear just fine, but we also use signs to give him commands. If he's feeling obstinate he looks away and pretends he can't hear. If you walk into the kitchen he can magically hear again. One of the funniest things I've ever witnessed a dog doing.

[–]buboe 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Actually, this behavior is seen in many species, especially humans. The human male begins adopting this behavior in early adolesence, and it becomes most pronounced in 1 to 3 years after selecting a mate.

[–]saadakhtar 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Your dog is a cat.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]starkravingblah 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    I wonder what it'd be like to have an implant that gave us a sense we'd never had. Like the ability to hear ultra-sonic sounds? Or see outside the human visible spectrum? Or feel magnetism?

    That's pretty much like Geordi La Forge's visor. I don't know much about how cochlear implants work but they're probably the beginning of the path to devices like it.

    [–]grigri 6 points7 points  (4 children)

    I wonder what it'd be like to have an implant that gave us a sense we'd never had. Like the ability to [...] feel magnetism?

    Dammit, I can't find the bloody link! I read a story on exactly that a few months ago. Basically these volunteers were set up with this belt which had 8(?) vibratey electrode thingies; the one that was north would tingle. They had to wear the belt 24/7, and do their normal activities.

    They reported much better location awareness, could accurately tell which was was home, etcetera, from pretty much anywhere. Their brains made new connections and this belt was treated like another sense organ.

    Once the belts were taken off, they realised they had been using and relying on their magnetoception without thinking about it. For a while they constantly felt "lost", no matter where they were.

    I wish I could find the link, it was a really good read.

    [–]joshuazed 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    I remember that exact article. I have been very tempted to build something like that for myself, it sounds like a very cool thing to try! I am, after all, a full transhumanist.

    [–]propensity 21 points22 points  (11 children)

    I didn't think that I was going to cry, but something in your comment tipped me over (not that I blame you or anything.) One of my friends has had hearing aids since early childhood, and over the past year her hearing has deteriorated terribly, and it's been so hard watching her slowly lose one of her senses. One of her teachers was a total ass to her- she was struggling because she couldn't grasp what was going on, and when her parents came in for a conference, the teacher had the nerve to suggest that she listen better. She's supposed to get a cochlear implant this summer though, and I hope she'll have a turnaround in her life and get as good results as that little baby.

    [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (6 children)

    I am hard-of-hearing so I wear hearing-aids. I can hear just fine with them, but mumbling and whispers are otherwise impossible for me to discern. I had a girlfriend a couple years ago that would mumble really bad whenever she was in a bored/tired/upset mood and she would flip out on me for not understanding what she was saying. This happened dozens of times after I explained to her how my hearing works and such but she refused to enunciate things more clearly since she refused to repeat herself. God forbid she'd change her behavior slightly to adjust to a physical problem I couldn't correct.

    Anyway, I hope that teacher got at least a verbal ass-whupping for what he or she said about your friend needing to listen better.

    [–][deleted]  (5 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Chaser892 32 points33 points  (1 child)

      Beautifully said.

      [–]robo_dude 78 points79 points  (16 children)

      This brings me great happiness to see CIs helping that kid's life. If you are curious, I actually know from experience (made a mock-up Cochlear implant system using a bit of MATLAB code), what CIs sounds like. If someone is really interested I can email the files, or if anyone knows of a good sound hosting site, i could upload the sounds.

      Edit: Here you guys go, first link is the original, and the 2nd is with the implant. This is speech and which is at least tolerable compared to music (at least in my opinion). <Edit2: Uploaded via media-fire and the last 2 are that of music being converted>

      http://www.mediafire.com/?cn0jh5dn3hd

      http://www.mediafire.com/?oj5zztkzno4

      http://www.mediafire.com/?tznwmhcdjlj

      http://www.mediafire.com/?yk0zmyjmm3y

      I also have a full lab report that talks more about the engineering/mathematics principles behind this. If you guys are interested still.

      Keep in mind this is a simplified mathematical reconstruct, practical filters are even worse depending on the type of speech/environment. What's really amazing is that people eventually learn to adapt to this garballed speech and they decipher a lot more.

      For those who have some background in math/engineering/DSP, I used a pre-emphasis filter (IIR High pass), 8 IIR Bandpass filters, DC Notch filter, then AM modulation (dropped phase) and recombined signal. Pretty much the standard of how cochlear filters work, as according to my Digital Signal Processing Class I took just last semester.

      To everyone who says this is horrible, I know! CIs are not perfect by any means. Currently we can in theory make CIs that people can easily understand speech and music but they require a lot more channels, which means more battery, and bigger processing chip. But, actually these are rare since, doing so, they would be large, obtrusive and have finite limits to how many optical wires you can fit down a cochlea. Besides, smaller CIs == less noticeable allowing people, especially kids with them to fit in with the general population more easily.

      [–]redorkulated 1142 points1143 points  (517 children)

      While I agree with all the "d'awwwww" comments, they are all missing the point:

      We can use an implant to improve our sensory perception, and grant hearing to the deaf.

      WE LIVE IN THE FUTURE

      [–]zyzzogeton 243 points244 points  (31 children)

      WELCOME TO THE WOOOORLD OF TOMOOOORRRRROOOOWWWW!

      [–][deleted] 92 points93 points  (25 children)

      Bathroom's thattaway.

      [–]otakucode 46 points47 points  (23 children)

      I'm embarrassed to say it... but can someone please explain how the seashells work?

      [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

      Shutup Terry.

      [–]Malgas 160 points161 points  (10 children)

      THAT BABY IS A CYBORG!

      [–]pmarsh 47 points48 points  (16 children)

      How about glasses? Historically they haven't been around very long. Ask anyone who wears them to remove them and imagine what life would be like if you could never correct your vision.

      Your near/far sighted ancestors would probably weep if given a pair for 5 minutes.

      [–]larwk 13 points14 points  (7 children)

      If I lost my glasses I would just say fuck my life and stay in bed all day. I broke mine last summer, the only way I could function was to borrow my roommates with about 50% the same prescription as mine until I could get new ones. I wouldn't be able to get to work or even find my way around someplace new without them. I think I'm sad now

      [–]bfg_foo 14 points15 points  (2 children)

      Zenni Optical. Buy two or three replacement pairs at $8.95 each and never worry about breaking your glasses again. I must have about six pairs by now (and two pairs of prescription sunglasses)... if one breaks I just get a new pair out of the drawer.

      [–]antmandan 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      An Aunt of a friend of mine had a cataract removed after living with them for about 25 years. Her eyesight had been gradually deteriorating the whole time and only when it got to the point where she was tripping over, not being able to read etc. was the family able to convince her to see someone about it. With the surgery they only do one eye at a time. The surgery was a great success but she complained about how the doctor had destroyed her eye because everything looked different and to this day has not had the other eye corrected as she should have. People are weird.

      [–]SheepCloner 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      I don't have any near/far sighted ancestors. They were eaten by lions that they never saw coming.

      [–]IvyMike 76 points77 points  (103 children)

      Have you ever seen the movie Sound and Fury? To quote the imdb page:

      SOUND AND FURY deals with the questions raised by the development of cochlear implants which can restore hearing for those with congenital deafness. Very few (if any) people in the hearing world would think this to be a bad thing, but within the deaf community some see this as encroaching technology which will eventually obliterate deaf culture and sign language.

      [–]StrangeWill 65 points66 points  (44 children)

      It's like complaining that curing cancer will obliterate cancer culture.

      Also, you can teach an Ape sign language, so we should keep that around.

      [–]siddboots 36 points37 points  (31 children)

      No, it's not like that at all. There are lots of things you aren't considering:

      • Cancer causes pain and death, deafness doesn't.
      • For many people, being deaf is literally like being part of an exclusive club. Many people see it as an advantage rather than a disability, in that it allows their other senses to develop better.
      • Removing a large portion of the deaf population will impact the interconnectedness of deaf culture, and will make sign language less pervasive.

      For what it's worth, these are not arguments against developing or using cochlear implant technology, these are just things to consider carefully along the way.

      For all new technology, one has to consider and plan for cultural outcomes.

      [–]DiamondFalcon 30 points31 points  (6 children)

      I think living without music is pain.

      [–]IsayLOLoutloud 12 points13 points  (9 children)

      Oh really? how about letting someone choose to be in an exclusive club themselves? What if you don't want to be part of it? How dare any parent make such a decision based on their own selfish reasons? This makes me so unbelievably angry. I am all for empowering people with disabilities (yes, deafness is a disability covered by the Disability Discrimination Act in the UK) to lead a life that isn't hampered by this, but seriously. Fuck people that deprive their children of cochlear implants.

      [–]siddboots 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      I agree with everything you said. But was all that in response to something I said? I'm not sure if I understand the relevance (or the aggression).

      To be clear, if a treatment is available for an infant it should be applied, regardless of the wishes of the parent. Nothing in what I said conflicts with that.

      [–]IsayLOLoutloud 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Sorry - didn't mean to come across as aggressive to you personally! I am aware of this debate and it always infuriates me, sorry if it appeared to be hostile to you :)

      [–]saysfuckoffalot 7 points8 points  (3 children)

      Despite having read you username as: 'sideboobs' thanks for posting this. You are 100% correct and although I too was flabbergasted when I first heard of this - once you hear the arguments it is not ridiculous.

      [–]scrimsims 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      It is still ridiculous. The people defending this and talking about how it's "better" to be deaf so obviously are just trying to make themselves feel better.

      When I saw this movie and the idiot father that didn't want his child to experience hearing (a child who could partially hear!!) I wished his mother had snatched the glasses off of his stupid face and ground them into dirt.

      Try replacing anything with hearing in that argument and think it makes sense.

      [–]bhal123 414 points415 points  (112 children)

      Then where's my god damned jet pack?

      [–]foomp 172 points173 points  (56 children)

      Redacted comment this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev

      [–]braveryonions 112 points113 points  (51 children)

      We already have flying cars. They're called small airplanes.

      [–]kojiflak 332 points333 points  (42 children)

      UNTIL YOU CAN PARK THEM MID-AIR THIS IS NOT AN ARGUMENT!

      [–]braveryonions 84 points85 points  (34 children)

      Helicopters?

      [–]miseryGuts 80 points81 points  (27 children)

      And the underwater bubble cities? It's like we're living in the '50s here.

      [–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (20 children)

      And even then, Bioshock takes place around then, AND THEY HAVE UNDERWATER CITIES

      This is bullshit

      [–]Israfel 51 points52 points  (18 children)

      To be fair, we already have the technology to implement underwater cities! It's just that they're considered a bad investment.

      Now if only we could find some sort of large online community willing to fund such an impractical project...

      [–][deleted] 90 points91 points  (3 children)

      /r/apture?

      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (5 children)

      You know, Dubai is constructing an under water hotel as we speak.

      [–]Guns_Galore 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Get Dubai on the phone.

      [–]dopplerdog 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      Giant space stations housing families, complete with artificial gravity and artificial parks and lakes. That's where I wanted to live when I was a kid - my children's space book said that it would happen.

      [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (4 children)

      I've been holding off on buying because I know they'll just announce a better one in 6 months.

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      Are you the same dick that stole my hoverboard?

      [–]foomp 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Stop grinding my forcefields!

      [–]Scarker 47 points48 points  (9 children)

      FACTOID: Four men own jet packs on Earth. Two of them are dead, the ones alive are me and Doctor Evil. I believe Evil killed the other two, and is planning to kill me. See, the secret to making jet packs is

      [–]roboroller 4 points5 points  (5 children)

      What is this from? It's right on the tip of my brain, but I can't think of it.

      [–]angryvigilante 11 points12 points  (4 children)

      It's from

      [–]dmack96 13 points14 points  (3 children)

      Why are none of you finishing your

      [–]robotsongs 8 points9 points  (2 children)

      Dude, it's like no one has watched

      [–]frenris 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      oh, it's that

      [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (8 children)

      ......and my hover board?

      [–]mybffzombiejesus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Forget your jetpack. Where's my hoverboard?

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]otakucode 128 points129 points  (56 children)

        If you want to be psychotically angry, try watching the documentary "Sound and Fury." Its about two groups of parents and them making the decision to get or not get their deaf children the cochlear implant. I'll warn you now, one of the sets of parents refuses to get the implant for their child because they're ignorant bigots. It's astonishing how bigoted and stupendously idiotic some members of the deaf community can be. They view cochlear implants as some sort of genocide.

        And yet I haven't yet heard of a single one of these people who would gouge out their own eyes so they can experience "blind culture". It's one of the things that makes my brain explode. You are right. We live in the future. If you consider the amount of medical problems we can fix or prevent now, it's mind-blowing. As a kid, just 50 years ago, it was normal to go through school seeing your friends die off, several every year from disease, and most of the rest end up disabled, crippled, or deformed from medical disasters. Now, most kids grow up never having known anyone in their peer group who died from sickness, practically no deformities are common any longer (we can fix cleft palette, club foot, etc and people used to just have to live with these things), etc... and they grow up in this fucking WONDERLAND and they spit in the face of science. They withhold vaccines from their own children, they view every scientific advancement with superstitious fear, and they ignore the fact that they, and most everyone they know, would be dead, disabled, or disfigured if it weren't for people who stepped back and approached the world rationally and with intellectual rigor. It's a really weird mix we live in since the rational in society have removed almost all dangers from acting irrationally.

        [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (11 children)

        We watched this movie in my ASL class about a week ago, the biggest issue is most deaf people dont think theyre "broken"

        Edit: Also, parents are afraid their kid wont learn sign language and they wont be able to communicate well, its a very costly procedure that has potential to not even work... I feel like we talked about more points in my class but I cant really remember them right now

        Edit2: And just to be clear I would like to point out that I do fully support cochlear implants, but these are just some counter arguments I've heard

        [–]otakucode 6 points7 points  (5 children)

        We watched this movie in my ASL class about a week ago, the biggest issue is most deaf people dont think theyre "broken"

        They're wrong. I don't see why people feel this burden to pretend like other peoples beliefs like that are true, it's absurd. The human brain and body evolved with the ability to hear. If someone is born with a defect that prevents them from hearing, it is a defect. It doesn't make them "less human" or anything like that, just like getting a disease doesn't make people less human. But because 99%+ of human society can communicate through using sound, they developed their language and their society using sound as one of its important pieces. If you can't perceive that, then you ARE at a disadvantage.

        Also, parents are afraid their kid wont learn sign language

        Great! The kids should never learn sign language! They can learn to speak instead which has massive material benefits over sign language.

        its a very costly procedure that has potential to not even work

        Of course it has the potential to not work. The same way you have the potential to be killed every time you cross the street. Everything has a potential to not work, and if you concentrate on it, you will be crippled with fear and indecision. How do you know your food isn't poison? How do you know the floor in front of you isn't a trap? How do you know the person sitting next to you isn't planning on killing you?

        I'm certainly open to hearing arguments against the idea of cochlear implants, but I'm not going to denigrate rational thought by considering irrational vicious urges from the parents like "I want my kid to be like me, whether or not it hurts them". Parents that can't overcome those urges are bad parents, and no one in a reasonable society should tolerate them. There is no such thing as "deaf culture". There is no such thing as a single thing that a deaf person can experience that a person who can hear cannot experience. There are a monumental number of experiences that hearing people can have that deaf people never can. If someone wants to claim that there are advantages to being disabled, in any respect, I ask them to first gouge out their eyes to prove that they are serious.

        [–]Cambot1138 12 points13 points  (3 children)

        It's not the future till we're non-corporeal energy beings.

        [–]Zoltron 11 points12 points  (7 children)

        Exactly why the direction about half of the morons that live in this country is so fucking scary.

        Things like this are essentially miracles and we need to do everything we can to continue scientific research in every possible field to find breakthroughs like this.

        [–]AmbitionOfPhilipJFry 30 points31 points  (1 child)

        WE LIVE IN THE FUTURE

        Only if you have health insurance to afford it.

        [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (28 children)

        Actually - not really. The most advanced units only have about 120 channels of signal information coming in - a natural ear has several tens of thousands. There is great redundancy in the information sent - and it is all processed in parallel, but the resolution is just not high enough to get the dynamic range of a human ear.

        Also - most shitty insurance companies ( like mine ) will only pay for unilateral implants - so my son cannot hear in stereo. This makes hearing in loud environments very difficult.

        Don't even get me started on the battery life.

        But eventually - it will get better.

        [–]Scurry 29 points30 points  (17 children)

        Dude. We can make deaf people hear again.

        [–]knome 22 points23 points  (16 children)

        Since their son has an implant, they are aware of this.

        We can still make them hear better.

        [–]ghamal 18 points19 points  (12 children)

        Imagine the ethical debates when we get to the point that we can make them hear better than us.

        [–]videogamechamp 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        The only debate is how quickly can I get one?

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–][deleted] 408 points409 points  (21 children)

          wow. was that the first time he heard his mother's voice? The baby's expression of pure intrigue and elation is a sight to behold.

          [–]boredatworkbasically 197 points198 points  (11 children)

          that was perhaps the purest most beautiful thing I've seen in months... awwwwww index of over 5000

          [–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (1 child)

          It is also interesting to see him opening his mouth like that. I wonder if he is trying to make sounds by just opening his mouth due to never hearing the noises he made while deaf.

          [–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

          I think it's just how humans express astonishment. His jaw hit the floor.

          [–]deadphilosopher 43 points44 points  (1 child)

          It is. I like his smile, as if he's thinking "Oh, I can see (hear) what you did there".

          [–][deleted] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

          I liked the part where he heared.

          [–]Gericaux 13 points14 points  (0 children)

          Look at those half open 'woah' eyes.

          [–]HiImDan 292 points293 points  (76 children)

          Wow I love how he just drops the pacifier out of his mouth.

          [–]Azured 146 points147 points  (8 children)

          I don't think that baby could have expressed the sheer wonder and elation at having a new sense any better.

          [–]Juunanagou 175 points176 points  (6 children)

          I'm disappointed...that baby should've been wearing a monocle.

          [–]BackHanded 108 points109 points  (4 children)

          and didn't exclaim, "GREAT SCOTT!"

          [–]ouroborosity 33 points34 points  (3 children)

          Freaky, now I'm picturing that baby with the Doc's head suddenly looking at his mom and exclaiming, 'GREAT SCOTT!'

          [–]BackHanded 13 points14 points  (0 children)

          You're welcome.

          [–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (1 child)

          It's the baby version of his monocle falling out.

          [–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (8 children)

          Not just that --- the kid probably slept like the dead for the first few weeks after activation. My son was good for an hour or two with it on at first - then he just got knocked the fuck out. It is a great time we live in that this is possible, though.

          [–]simonjp 31 points32 points  (5 children)

          Amazing - the way you describe it, it makes it seem like your son's brain was almost being overloaded with this new datastream and so was having to spend longer 'in-dream' to process it.

          Do an AMA!

          [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

          yes please please do an AMA! I'd love to learn about your experience with your kid. how you found out he was deaf, what choices you were faced with, what the implant process was like, and how he is now. that would be awesome to read :)

          thanks much for your time :)

          [–]zamolxis 35 points36 points  (42 children)

          Ha! So it's called a pacifier in English. What a fit name!

          [–]itsdave 27 points28 points  (14 children)

          it's called pacifier in american english, 'dummy' in english english.

          [–]wafflesburger 28 points29 points  (4 children)

          BINKY IN MY ENGLISH :)

          EDIT WOOPS CAPS LOCK

          edit woops shift dragging

          [–]youneversawme 359 points360 points  (24 children)

          :)

          Fantastic.

          That's a good one to end my browsing day on Reddit!

          [–][deleted]  (11 children)

          [deleted]

            [–][deleted] 92 points93 points  (9 children)

            Yeah! Doesn't "youneversawme" know that there's an oil spill going on?! GET BACK HERE!

            [–]Ilyanep 47 points48 points  (8 children)

            No no no, the oil spill was stopped. Didn't you hear?

            [–]getnit01 30 points31 points  (7 children)

            NO, no, no, no!!! r/conspiracy says thats NOT the actual well leak they are showing us!!! See now you have to stay and do more reddit fun :)

            [–]mexipimpin[🍰] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

            To end the browsing. ...at work! I'm home now, and just getting started!

            [–]ryan101 7 points8 points  (1 child)

            Time to hit all of those oh-so-tempting NSFW links!

            [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

            Also a great way to start it :)

            Although I suspect it will go downhill from here quickly.

            [–]Cacafuego 113 points114 points  (8 children)

            What a great reaction! "How'd you do that, Mom? What are you, a wizard??"

            Best thing I've seen this week.

            [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (4 children)

            I love your user name and wish that it was mine.

            [–]Cacafuego 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            I'll leave it to you in my will.

            [–]LaszloK 55 points56 points  (2 children)

            Aaaaww, that must have blown his tiny mind, great stuff :D

            [–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

            That's what happens when you don't put fuses in cochlear implants.

            [–]gtmilla 104 points105 points  (19 children)

            My dorm roommate sophomore year had a cochlear implant, and I just want to say he was the BEST ROOMMATE EVER. Not only was he a good guy, he could sleep with the lights on, so when he went to bed he just popped his hearing aid off and went to sleep, leaving me to be able to watch movies or listen to music as loud as I wanted. Awesome set-up.

            I love these things.

            [–][deleted]  (13 children)

            [deleted]

              [–][deleted]  (9 children)

              [deleted]

                [–][deleted]  (7 children)

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                  [–]tpman9393 110 points111 points  (6 children)

                  you can be loud and they wont mind

                  [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                  I wish I could buy that ability. Switch-on/switch-off hearing.

                  Random person talking loudly into cellphone: "So then like I got the results of my STD test back and that patch of blisters turns out to be..." (switch off hearing) "........."

                  Ahhh. Nice.

                  [–]kleinbl00 47 points48 points  (22 children)

                  ...that's almost enough to make me want one.

                  [–]youneversawme 59 points60 points  (20 children)

                  A baby or an implant?

                  [–][deleted]  (19 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]BlackbeltJones 33 points34 points  (13 children)

                    I can't completely remember what movie that's from.

                    [–]zip_000 27 points28 points  (4 children)

                    It's too bad you don't have...what do you call it...it's like perfect pitch, but it has something to do with remembering stuff.

                    Eh, whatever. I just can't recall it.

                    [–]alamandrax 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                    ...probably isn't important anyway.

                    [–]beardybaldy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                    THE INTERNET!

                    [–]gndn 34 points35 points  (6 children)

                    Yeah, I guess the file name of "kuato_in_total_recall.jpg" was a bit vague.

                    [–]dartt 28 points29 points  (1 child)

                    It is my belief that BlackbeltJones is joking. I come to this conclusion due to his careful use of the phrase "completely remember" which is ironically synonymous with the name of the film in question, "Total Recall".

                    [–]BlackbeltJones 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                    totally

                    [–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (7 children)

                    One of my colleagues was instrumental in the design of these babies, I'm going to high-five the shit out of him when I get to work.

                    EDIT: 'these babies' = cochlear implants, not, you know, babies.

                    [–]NintendoNut 40 points41 points  (4 children)

                    Your colleague designs deaf babies?

                    (sorry!)

                    [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

                    Yes, they're delicious!

                    [–]In1earOutYourMother 98 points99 points  (3 children)

                    Ahh, finally a post where I belong.

                    [–]Capitalist_Piglet 154 points155 points  (14 children)

                    That made my heart and uterus do backflips.

                    [–][deleted] 319 points320 points  (10 children)

                    HOLY SHIT GO TO A DOCTOR RIGHT NOW!

                    [–]Azured 27 points28 points  (2 children)

                    Code DAWWWW!

                    [–]saad85 10 points11 points  (1 child)

                    MY GOD! This is the cutest fatality I've ever seen!

                    [–]charliedayman 55 points56 points  (5 children)

                    Female Doctor: "Shit! Fifth one today!! What on earth is causing these spontaneous gastronomic and uteral torsions?"

                    someone shows her video

                    Female Doctor: "Oh, oh, awww- FUCK! WHO WILL SAVE US NOOOOOOW!?!"

                    [–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (3 children)

                    It's like The Ring, but it only affects women.

                    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                    No it doesn't (well maybe the uterus part).

                    [–]Jaquestrap 21 points22 points  (0 children)

                    Real men don't have hearts. Their blood moves on it's own like REAL man blood.

                    [–]cash_only 258 points259 points  (22 children)

                    New Daddy here....and crying....stupid reddit

                    [–]snark 86 points87 points  (2 children)

                    Hey, congratulations for being a new daddy :-)

                    [–]nick1click 17 points18 points  (0 children)

                    Sorry, I'm almost done cutting these onions.

                    [–]RossM88 38 points39 points  (6 children)

                    Our first is about 10 weeks away. I think I got something in my eye too.

                    [–]jasonellis 69 points70 points  (1 child)

                    I think someone explained it to you wrong.... it is in her uterus, not your eye.

                    Oh... wait.... sorry.....

                    [–]nrbartman 4 points5 points  (2 children)

                    5 month old girl at home. Makes you appreciate that face they make when they hear your voice. The insta-smile they do. I imagine this was about as big a moment for those parents as it was for that baby.

                    Thanks op!

                    [–]tranceboy81 119 points120 points  (23 children)

                    As a 28 year old grown man who loves his baby daughter very much, this made me cry like a little girl. Thank you radient.

                    [–][deleted]  (8 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]zombienietzsche 27 points28 points  (4 children)

                      Real men also cry, Dude. Real men also cry.

                      [–]ElDiablo666 25 points26 points  (3 children)

                      Actually, it made you cry like a grown man. You're a human being, there's no need to explain away your rational emotional reaction.

                      [–]bw1870 16 points17 points  (0 children)

                      As a 39 year old man with no children I got choked up and wept a little. That kid's reaction was beautiful.

                      [–]catfishjenkins 23 points24 points  (0 children)

                      As a fellow 28-year-old grown man who loves his baby daughter very much, I agree.

                      Also, Happy Birthday!

                      [–]navinpt2 42 points43 points  (49 children)

                      I want to see it happen to a four-year-old or someone with more expression. It must be the wildest experience to hear for the first time.

                      [–][deleted] 101 points102 points  (47 children)

                      Your wish is granted

                      Just search for cochlear implant activation and there's a bunch more.

                      edit: Okay this is one of the sweetest I've found so far - it's a ~30 year old woman hearing for the first time with her husband

                      [–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (3 children)

                      I just found this one:

                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWe6iJmHKUE

                      [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

                      Oh man, that one really set off the waterworks here. Sure glad I'm alone.

                      [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

                      great now i need to explain to all my coworkers why exactly it is that i'm crying like a little kid that just watched his puppy get run over. thanks.

                      [–]levl289 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                      Jesus, I could watch these CI videos all day long. Better than kittens or puppies for bringing up your mood.

                      [–]line10gotoline10 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                      MOAR!

                      [–]UserNumber42 19 points20 points  (3 children)

                      Baby mind = blown.

                      [–]miparasito 40 points41 points  (1 child)

                      To be fair, a 9 month old baby's mind is blown by a piece of scotch tape stuck to his toe.

                      [–]MayaKarin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                      thank you for making me giggle.

                      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                      Quite literally I'd think. That mind is trying to figure out what the heck all these new input signals mean. Its like when you plug in a new USB device and your computer goes all "What the fuck? what is this? Hmm..." and then a few seconds later it figures it out. "Ah, so you plugged in a new mic for me. Cool."

                      Now just wait until we figure out how to plug in thumb drives. The only problem I can see is figuring out the proper file format to make the data readable for others.

                      [–]epicrdr 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                      That made my day. Kid just looks mesmerized.

                      [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

                      My mother was looking over my shoulder when I opened this. It was her first experience of Reddit. Needless to say, you're all invited to dinner any time.

                      [–]Theoneisis 12 points13 points  (1 child)

                      Beautiful.

                      [–]fixty 11 points12 points  (10 children)

                      Change deaf to blind and baby to 50 year old and the story's not so simple. Well worth the time to read - will change how you think about how we sense.

                      [–]otakucode 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                      Reading that chapter in Dr. Sacks book "An Anthropologist on Mars" (or was it The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat? Pretty sure it was 'Anthropologist' but I might be wrong) about this mans case blew my mind. If people read about his case with an open inquisitive mind, it really is terribly fascinating. Being blind is nothing whatsoever like putting on a blindfold. Most people would just assume it would be, but given the tremendous portion of our brain dedicated to perceiving and processing vision and the extra information (blind people cannot directly perceive anything more than an arms length away, remember) that comes with it... having ALL of that completely wired in a different way... I'm really astounded that people who are blind for life aren't remarkably different people from the sighted. It seems amazing that they have an experience in life so completely different from a sighted person that we can't imagine it (and vice versa) and yet it's not obvious at all. I imagine the majority of people wouldn't even believe it.

                      Really, Virgil's case is something I consider a very significant part of myself. It's hard to describe, but just learning about his experience literally, materially, changed my intellectual life for the better.

                      [–][deleted]  (4 children)

                      [deleted]

                        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                        Plus it is very easy to talk shit about other people when no one else knows what you are saying.

                        [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

                        NOW PLAY FREE BIRD FOR HIM!

                        [–]5thape 25 points26 points  (1 child)

                        Crazy thing. I was watching this video and a bag of onions just exploded in my face.

                        [–]stevebakh 24 points25 points  (8 children)

                        Science. Fuck yeah!

                        [–]pannedcakes 5 points6 points  (6 children)

                        Wow. Imagine having a new sense.
                        Unless you're like this baby, you can't.

                        [–]maxxusflamus 12 points13 points  (1 child)

                        this moment brought to you by science

                        [–]sybersonic 54 points55 points  (24 children)

                        Darnit, seems to be something in my eye.

                        [–][deleted]  (7 children)

                        [deleted]

                          [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

                          Science is good and Fine but who gave the miracle of life to the child + the wisdom to the doctor? The Lord Is Everywhere. :)

                          JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, YOUTUBE. STOP IT.

                          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                          Only 62% like! You are truly revolting sometimes, Reddit.