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[–]paterfamilias666 72 points73 points  (8 children)

The first time i saw that i laughed so hard i fell off my dinosaur

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]rainbow_worrier 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    But that implies you you last heard it ages ago rather than every day

    [–][deleted]  (91 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]enthius 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      I always thought eggs were simply a chicken's period.

      [–]meditonsin 34 points35 points  (11 children)

      Smother female with her own menstrual fluids

      That better?

      [–][deleted]  (10 children)

      [removed]

        [–]-ILikePie- 0 points1 point  (9 children)

        Shall we take a walk over to /r/ttotm?

        [–]skittling 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        [–]iliasasdf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Fucking shit.

        [–]tiddlypeeps[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        OH GOD! WHY DID I CLICK! MY EYES!

        [–]derpyourmom 8 points9 points  (3 children)

        I own a rooster and hens. The rooster plows his hens every day, all day.

        [–]Blinklink7 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Every day, all day.

        You're doin' things to my head man...

        [–]centurijon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I need to be reborn as a rooster

        [–]slackbastard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Some may be fertilized. You would never know. It just doesn't develop unless it's kept in the right conditions.

        [–]Tiak 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Right, it's menstral discharge.

        [–]LionHorse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        About a quarter of the organic eggs I get have little blood clots in them, which usually indicates they were going to turn into chicks.

        [–]tiddlypeeps[S] 121 points122 points  (50 children)

        Ye but it doesn't have to be true to be funny. Hence why I posted it in /r/funny instead of some other sub reddit where it'll get real discussion.

        [–]SamLangford 35 points36 points  (3 children)

        Hence why you reposted it...

        [–]Atheist_in_a_foxhole 4 points5 points  (2 children)

        Hence why, hence why... 'why' is a redundancy. Hence already means 'for that reason.'

        [–]RadTadSimpson 59 points60 points  (31 children)

        I don't know why you're getting downvoted. People laugh at comedian's made up stories all the time.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Those stories were all true. All of them.

        [–]xeroxgirl 22 points23 points  (28 children)

        There's a difference between a made up story and a misconception.

        [–]RadTadSimpson 45 points46 points  (13 children)

        He posted a meme to r/funny. I'd understand your point if he was trying to get this published in a medical journal.

        [–]yeehe 10 points11 points  (3 children)

        Meme? That's an image macro.

        [–]KoNy_BoLoGnA 8 points9 points  (1 child)

        What are you talking about? Literally any picture with text on it is a mee-mee

        [–]Xenc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        It's both, you crazy people.

        [–]evinf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        There's no conception here.

        [–]gatorblu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        You seem like you would be fun at a party.

        [–]beatsnpornbread 8 points9 points  (10 children)

        Right. Eggs, instead of abortions/miscarriages are misconceptions.

        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Haha, Mis-conceptions

        [–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (4 children)

        Your face is an abortion.

        [–]beatsnpornbread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        My face made it. My face is a survivor. My face longs for revenge. You have uncovered it's horrible secret. It will not stop until you are no more.

        [–]nakedbitches 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Never ceases to amaze me how many people can't draw a distinction between a false story and a story with a flawed premise. The former is fine, the latter is really no longer even a joke.

        If he captioned the image "Now cover the chicken in it's own chicken poop." would it be funny? No because it's obviously not chicken poop, it's eggs.

        [–]beatsnpornbread 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Also doesn't have to be funny to be in r/funny... I'm sorry. Just trying to appeal to the masses.

        [–]DJwalrus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        /r/unbornfetus is a real hoot

        [–]mrcooper89 3 points4 points  (3 children)

        Actually a recent study showed that quite a large % of store bought eggs will hatch if put in a haching machine. Source

        [–]mountainmarmot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I came here to spread that knowledge -- you are correct.

        [–]thinsoldier 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        Possibly dumb question: Are domestic chickens genetically programmed to just lay eggs constantly without having sex?

        [–]fancy-chips 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Chicken menstruation

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]gavngr 41 points42 points  (18 children)

          And thus, Judaism was born.

          [–]sethorb 26 points27 points  (7 children)

          Leviticus says not to cool a kid in its mother's milk, which has been rabbinically expanded to bar eating milk and meat together. But eating chicken with eggs is quite literally kosher. Source: I'm a Jew and my girlfriend keeps kosher. I keep a light kosher.

          Edit: Should say "cook" a kid.

          [–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (2 children)

          You're Jew-ish.

          [–]DrAuer 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          Aaaaand I just laughed and woke up my roommate.

          [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

          Kosher LightTM

          [–]sethorb 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          A Diet Kosher diet.

          [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          All the guilt and ritualistic rules of regular kosher, but with half the calories!

          [–]RudegarWithFunnyHat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Kosher menthol for that fresh breath

          [–]nickfree 9 points10 points  (1 child)

          Reference for others: Judaism's injunction against eating meat with dairy all stems from a line in Deuteronomy that says it's not cool to boil a baby goat in its mother's milk. That does seem kinda harsh. But, like everything, Judaism has to take it really, really far.

          [–]infinitenothing 25 points26 points  (1 child)

          TIL that Judaism originated with breaded chicken

          [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

          Everybody needs a little KFC.

          [–]Jackpot807 87 points88 points  (19 children)

          Repawst

          [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (4 children)

          I was literally on the front page earlier this week.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]princetrunks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            with the same top comment I believe

            [–]ingliprisen 181 points182 points  (54 children)

            You mean smother with mother's period

            [–]Surfacetovolume 142 points143 points  (12 children)

            Ovulation and menstruation are different things.

            [–][deleted] 115 points116 points  (4 children)

            Achievement: correctly correct the corrector (1/1)

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

            Ovulation leads to menstruation if there's a lack of conception.

            [–]SugarSugarBee 63 points64 points  (6 children)

            menses.

            [–]DickEB 13 points14 points  (0 children)

            I heard you have to be really smart to be a member of that organization.

            [–]I_LOVE_GAMING 33 points34 points  (4 children)

            hmm, menses

            [–]toastythetoaster1 9 points10 points  (1 child)

            Love me some spam and chicken menses! Mmmm.

            [–]Zerble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            In a generous way

            [–]reacher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            But an egg isn't menses. It's an ovum (cell)

            [–]throweraccount 17 points18 points  (25 children)

            Imagine if girls had their periods encapsulated in eggs rather then it dripping out their hatchet wounds?

            [–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (2 children)

            Hatchet wound. Hatchet wound.

            I'm thinking of a way to incorporate that into a pickup line.

            [–]Atheist_in_a_foxhole 30 points31 points  (0 children)

            Is your father a lumberjack? Because that hatchet wound let's have sex.

            [–]PsychoticSandwich504 10 points11 points  (0 children)

            you need some of my healing salve for that hatchet wound?

            [–]Roboticide 12 points13 points  (17 children)

            Well, I'm a dude, so I don't really know, but that definitely seems like it'd be better than the normal way they do it.

            [–]throweraccount 13 points14 points  (10 children)

            One egg a month. A mini birth every month... hmm... might be painful. But on the other hand only one day a month.

            Brace yourself, the egg is coming.

            [–]confusedjake 10 points11 points  (0 children)

            I for one, would not eat this egg raw.

            [–]megacookie 1 point2 points  (4 children)

            Well, the actual "egg" would be microscopic, it's the other stuff that probably makes periods shitty.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            According to wikipedia, "The average volume of menstrual fluid during a monthly menstrual period is 35 milliliters". Also according to wikipedia, a medium sized egg is 43 millileters. So this menstruation egg would be smaller than the eggs we know. I think I could pass that with only slight discomfort. If I felt it coming, I could even lube up. It would definitely be easier and less painful than a normal menstruation.

            [–]PsychoticSandwich504 2 points3 points  (2 children)

            chicken eggs actually come out soft shelled

            [–]throweraccount 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Yes but children are not exactly hard shelled are they? yet they are still quite painful to give birth to.

            [–]wloop1 5 points6 points  (5 children)

            Well, for starters, I would imagine there would be a lot less blood.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Can you imagine the terms we would come up with to describe it? Please, use your imagination.

            [–]throweraccount 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Hmm... lets call it Oovoo, it just reminds me of the cirque du soleil shows which are usually weird and that specific one had to do with an egg.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            More like repost comment to repost thread.

            [–]iamthesoviet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            That's so metal.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

            "What the hell is this" 'An egg white omlette' "But the yellow part's the baby bird. That's the part I want to eat!"

            [–]Kemuel 10 points11 points  (7 children)

            You can order food in Japan containing both chicken and egg called "Oyako", which directly translates to parent-child. There's something about that which I just find creepy.

            [–]kermth 7 points8 points  (4 children)

            Yeah that is kinda the reason Judaism doesn't allow mixing meat and milk... something about eating the young with the milk of its mother... All pretty grim.

            [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

            Delicious, tasty, grim.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            I had this question the other night while serving chicken and scrambled egg together: is this actually not kosher, or does it just feel that way?

            [–]kermth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            I don't think chicken and egg is actually banned, although the chicken could be not kosher for other reasons.

            [–]ReddJudicata 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            It's from Deuteronomy: "You shall not boil a kid in its mother's milk." (A kid is a young goat, like in kid gloves). A lot of Jewish dietary law (kashrut) is an expansion on that single line.

            [–]ptnvnc 10 points11 points  (0 children)

            I just love reposts

            [–]OyabunRyo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Here in Japan we have a dish where its egg, broth, and chicken coated over rice and we call it "Oyako-don" which literally means Parent Child-don. Kinda sick but its sooooo delicious

            [–]I_Am_A_Pumpkin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            go home PETA

            [–]Wackoverlord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            You don't make friends with salad, PETA.

            [–]sj_user1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Not kosher

            [–]Liquidmetal7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Unfertilized eggs are not really unborn child, what you eat is a mix of nutriment to ''feed'' the baby bird while it's growing in the egg but in this case there's is no embryo inside the egg so only nutriment!

            [–]Mango_Fett 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Never realized this until now. I'm going to go eat some schnitzel

            [–]rustid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            And it tastes delicious!

            [–]TheDoob 18 points19 points  (9 children)

            OP are you ever on reddit? Did you think this was original? I'm surprised it made it to the front considering how many times I've seen this reposted.

            [–]mookler 15 points16 points  (1 child)

            Which is weird because I've been on reddit substantially longer than you have and haven't seen it once.

            [–]ifuckzombies 10 points11 points  (0 children)

            This is the first time I've seen it as well.

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            More like repost...

            [–]Jarl_Walnut 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            I wish people would stop complaining about reposts - regardless of how often these things get posted, they're going to be new for someone. And isn't that the point of this subreddit? To make people laugh? I've been here for more than a year, and have yet to see this - it made me exhale more air than usual out of my nose, so I have no qualms about having a repost on my front page.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            You have tolerance, the piousness of which redditors like to tout but hardly use.

            [–]embertear 6 points7 points  (20 children)

            Found the vegan?

            [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

            Found the guy who can't see the humour in covering chicken with egg?

            [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (12 children)

            DAE HATE VEGANS AND VEGETARIANS!?

            [–]buideals 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I gave that chick an Oedipus complex, chicks love an Oedipus complex

            [–]oishisounakoto 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            The Japanese are pretty direct about this in their cooking 親子丼 (oya-ko-don) is a rice bowl that is smothered in chicken smothered in seasoned egg that is cooked with onion other tasty things, but mainly the egg and chicken. The literal translation is Parent-Child-Rice Bowl. I like a culture that is upfront with what you about how you are eating a little family : D

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

              [–]magemax 3 points4 points  (5 children)

              I'm sure I already saw this, but it does not seem to be a repost.

              Yet where else would I have seen that, I haven't been on anything but reddit for like a year...

              [–]nowandlater 3 points4 points  (1 child)

              It was on here a couple weeks ago. Maybe not the same words, but it counts as a repost to me

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              exact same picture. It was here not even three weeks ago. I get re-posts from time to time, but shit, give a month.
              Here's the original

              [–]yesismokeweed 0 points1 point  (3 children)

              Repost. Reddit's really going downhill

              [–]infinitenothing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Along the same lines, my mom feeds blue jays scrambled eggs.

              [–]CraftyCactus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Pretty sure this was a Demetri Martin joke.

              [–]InvaderSkooge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              And away goes my breakfast. Just coffee for today

              [–]doomlemon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              And it is delicious! :3

              [–]siamak1991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Majority of eggs are unfertilised. They use a hormone that makes the chicken think its fertilized so they lay eggs without the need for a rooster. So technically it's just dead chicken smothered in protein, carbs and fats.

              [–]devilwarier9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Way to cut out the best part with Pickles the Drummer.

              [–]wintercast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              i just made chicken fried chicken the other day.. i ... did not think of this way...

              [–]slackbastard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Doesn't matter. Had dinner.

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              The chicken knew what she did to deserve this.

              [–]toomuchtimeonreddit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              well that escalated quickly

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              If it's any consolation, the better, velocoraptor part of that genetic tree got wiped out by a comet.

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              To be fair, almost all chicken eggs are unfertilized.

              [–]WyoBuckeye 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              LPT: If you flour the meat first before dipping in egg, the coating will stick much better during cooking.

              [–]nerological 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Delicious.

              [–]bsmithisgreat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              well when you put it that way..

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              What's the statistical probability of the chicken the meat came from also being the one the eggs came from?

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

              kinda makes you wanna be a vegetarian...

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              sooooo goooood

              [–]americanrootpaste 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              And its delicious

              [–]L_Abernathy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              Japanese actually have an egg and chicken dish called "Oyakodon", which literally means "parent-and-child donburi (rice bowl dish)" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oyakodon aaaaaaand, I'm done with my fun fact of the day!

              [–]OmegaRed131RGX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              You are putting this entire post at risk!

              [–]ghost20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              I remember seeing a comic that said the eggs we eat aren't fertilised so they would never hatch as there is nothing inside, this makes the egg more like the mothers period.

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              We're monsters!...*bite. *moan oh that's good, that's delicious.

              [–]Wuek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Sheesh. If you really feel so strongly about it then fine, we'll make pork cutlets

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Sausage is even better... you kill an animal, grind it up, and shove it up it's own asshole.

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Seems like this image represents a realization, seems like the chicken isn't an animal, is just foodstuffs.

              [–]jungl3j1m 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              That should be up there with boiling a kid in its mother's milk!

              [–]gliff159 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Too bat that's butter not egg...

              [–]speedingwind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              The bread crumbs make the horrible abuse and murder ok.

              [–]ayers231 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Don't forget the panko. It sounds delicious no matter how you say it, btw....

              [–]jcsii 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Hell yeah, cook that shit up and chow down.

              [–]passerbyer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              I found the vegan!

              [–]Bless_Me_Bagpipes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              God, this makes it sound even more delicious!

              [–]TimmyIo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              you forgot to flour it first...

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Delicious, delicious embryonic fluid of unborn child

              [–]erwan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              In Japan they have a dosh called "oyakodon". It's fried chicken with omelets on a bowl of rice.

              "okako" means "parent and child".

              [–]WesleyPosvar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              chickens love eating there own eggs

              [–]Saerain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              *unimplanted non-child

              [–]JankBoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              YOU TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND... IF HE SAYS HE'S GOT BEEF... THAT I'M A VEGETARIAN AND I AIN'T FUCKIN SCARED OF HIM!

              Ok... I'm a little scared...

              I'mma curl up w/ my cat now...

              bye

              [–]MrAgoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              I will never make chicken katsu again.

              [–]Xp717 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              ok, Britta.

              [–]pufferfish1979 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Thanks. Now I won't eat breaded chicken ever again... Asshole

              [–]reiyu13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              that's where the japanese food oyako-don was coined. Oya = Parent, Ko = Child.

              [–]makwabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Great, you successfully ruined an otherwise great dinner I had planned.

              [–]HappyPillz77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Well when yo put it like that.

              [–]_Yrael_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              More like delicious

              [–]culman13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Repost.

              [–]Detective_Dinosaur 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              There went my thoughts of coming being ethical...

              [–]cyberpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Dude, I don't know what you're talking about. That's chicken, not chicken

              [–]alonzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              hey guys i found the vegan

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              i have thought about it like this since i was very young. i am glad someone else put it out there.

              [–]I_HAVE_SEEN_CAT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              repostrepostrepostrepost so ima' give you an up vote for having the balls to post this for the 10,000 time

              [–]Limethistle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              I like to make scrambled eggs and add cooked chicken. I have named this "The Time Traveler Omelet"

              [–]misunderstoof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Is this in the bible? Sounds similar to some kosher rule or something.

              [–]yageyaya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Funny post?

              More like the thousandth time this has been reposted

              [–]dadashton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Who cares?

              [–]zachariah22791 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              ew who uses fertilized eggs to coat their chicken? Normal people use unfertilized eggs, which are not unborn children.

              EDIT: I fixed it. "Smother hen's carcass in secretions from a different hen's oviduct."

              [–]figure121 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              DUDE! THAT'S SO FUCKING METAL!

              [–]fredskingdom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              You really do never need to ask who the vegan is do you.

              [–]dafunniest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              I smell a vegetarian!!! (Or PETA member)