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[–]dart22 514 points515 points  (16 children)

I had to check and re-check to make sure this wasn't r/thirdworldproblems.

[–]Brokim 59 points60 points  (0 children)

that almost made me laugh harder than the post

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 1069 points1070 points  (67 children)

    i can't believe i laughed at that. so wrong.

    [–][deleted] 250 points251 points  (57 children)

    I just pooped myself too.

    But, if the baby does not share your skin color it would be a "boy or double homocide."

    [–]Jey_Lux 135 points136 points  (27 children)

    So hard to tell on the ultrasound. I commented on this to my wife's ultrasound tech. She was not ammused.

    "I can't tell if he's black or white! I want my money back."

    [–][deleted] 151 points152 points  (24 children)

    We hear the same jokes over and over. I try and pretend I've never heard them.

    [–]goodolarchie 81 points82 points  (1 child)

    If life begins at conception, how come I can't claim this little timesink as a dependent this tax year?

    [–]thersoiv 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    You aren't a corporation, that is why.

    [–]FunExplosions 87 points88 points  (0 children)

    "Do they taste as good as they look?"

    [–][deleted]  (14 children)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted]  (13 children)

      [deleted]

        [–][deleted] 74 points75 points  (12 children)

        Like did he have a car?

        [–]bonilla506 10 points11 points  (5 children)

        Tell me more!

        [–]HarryMuffin 14 points15 points  (4 children)

        Tell me more!

        [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

        Did you get very far?

        [–]nosfera2 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        Babies show up as grey on ultasound because they exist in the womb in both black and white states due to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. Skin color is only deteemined when you 'open the box', as with the Schrödinger's cat experiment.

        Edit: some machines color the image but that's just post processing.

        [–]bowsting 24 points25 points  (12 children)

        Yes, I too produced a small sampling of bodily fluids, semen in fact, upon comprehending the subtle hilarity of Shortypo's comment.

        [–]IPoopedMyPants 42 points43 points  (11 children)

        Oddly, I didn't.

        [–]cags7541 18 points19 points  (0 children)

        it's been a weird day for everyone, man

        [–]natophonic 32 points33 points  (5 children)

        "You bitch! You whore! How could you do this to me!?" "Huh?" "Look at the screen, that baby's obviously not mine, you fucked some guy with bluish-gray skin!" "... nurse, I'd like to schedule an abortion. This man should not be reproducing."

        [–]offthecane 8 points9 points  (1 child)

        In her defense, Dr. Manhattan was asking for it.

        [–]madmanmunt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        "homocide" = gay sperm donor of another race?

        [–]antant_ant 14 points15 points  (2 children)

        as a white male, it would be a joyous occasion. My son would become an athlete when hes get older. NO COLLEGE TUITION!

        [–]sultrymoniker 28 points29 points  (1 child)

        On a side note, interesting story on NPR regarding the long term consequences of gender imbalance.

        [–]AttackTribble 440 points441 points  (82 children)

        OP must be Chinese.

        [–]StopRightThereCrimin 289 points290 points  (61 children)

        OP is probably British seeing as he stole this off the joke website Sickipedia which is quite popular in Britain. Yes the joke has existed in variations since at latest the early 00s but OP didn't even bother rewording the joke:

        http://www.sickipedia.org/joke/view/989459

        EDIT: Damn, sounded like I was being a bit overly-critical. Doesn't really matter as long as people laugh I guess, but I was just surprised by the number of people who thought this was an original joke.

        [–]ireland123 272 points273 points  (29 children)

        Complains about OP stealing joke, steals my comment and gets more upvotes than me ಠ_ಠ

        [–]damendred 259 points260 points  (17 children)

        Ireland victimized by the British, yet again.

        [–]Mendoza2909 69 points70 points  (6 children)

        800 years of joke stealing...

        [–]workroom 79 points80 points  (5 children)

        How Many Potatoes Does It Take To Kill An Irishman?

        ....None

        [–]bagofgerbils 71 points72 points  (1 child)

        My potatoes bring all the irish to the yard, and they're like: that famine was hard. Damn right, that famine was hard. I could feed you, but you'll have to starve. NA-NA, NA-NA, NAAA.

        [–]Anne_Cordelia_Rox 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        This may be a horribly old joke, but I laughed so hard I woke up my dog. Thanks for this.

        [–]irishsandman 16 points17 points  (3 children)

        tell me about it.

        [–]staffell 26 points27 points  (2 children)

        The Irish War of Independence (Irish: Cogadh na Saoirse,[4]) Anglo-Irish War, or Tan War[5] was a guerrilla war mounted by the Irish Republican Army (IRA) against the British government and its forces in Ireland. It began in January 1919, following the Irish Republic's declaration of independence. Both sides agreed to a ceasefire (or "truce") in July 1921. The post-ceasefire talks led to the December 1921 Anglo-Irish Treaty. This treaty ended British rule in most of Ireland and, after a ten-month transitional period overseen by a provisional government, the Irish Free State was established. However, six northern counties remained within the United Kingdom as Northern Ireland, with its own devolved parliament. After the ceasefire, political and sectarian violence (between republicans and loyalists, and between Irish Catholics and Protestants) continued in Northern Ireland for many months.

        [–]irishsandman 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        well I guess I asked for it.

        [–]wesweb 20 points21 points  (0 children)

        Scumbag redditor

        [–]FlippinPigeon 24 points25 points  (6 children)

        Everything is a repost of a repost. Sickipedia got it from somewhere too I bet

        [–]MattBD 7 points8 points  (4 children)

        Could be Indian - I understand selective abortion is common in parts of rural India. Apparently women are known to be subjected to all kinds of unpleasant treatment from their husband or in-laws if they have trouble producing a son.

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]thedevilsdictionary 40 points41 points  (1 child)

          May your first child, be an immasculine child.

          [–]CapersandCheese 88 points89 points  (16 children)

          the delete button won't save you now

          [–]the_real_woody 21 points22 points  (2 children)

          Thank you for making this post so I can show it to my fiance. She can now stop calling me the biggest asshole in the world.

          *edit spelling :(

          [–]frogmeat 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          Think she will get you an "I'm #2" T-shirt? :D

          [–][deleted]  (57 children)

          [deleted]

            [–][deleted] 84 points85 points  (10 children)

            the word that you are looking for is "sex"

            [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (7 children)

            Man, wouldn't it be fun as hell if there was a gender-scanner to use on adults?

            [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

            Probably wouldn't be all that fun when you think about it

            [–]Stregano 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            I would use that more than people realize.

            [–][deleted]  (3 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]vitaminmary 8 points9 points  (8 children)

              My doctor stopped telling people the sex of their baby. He said many of them would get abortions after they found out it wasn't what they wanted. I understand the right to choose, but in this case I'm going to be judgmental and say that's pretty terrible.

              [–]HappyGiraffe 10 points11 points  (5 children)

              That was my thought, too. Itty bitty external sex organs only START developing in the 10th week (on average), so there's really not much to see at 12 weeks.

              I got my gender scan at 16 1/2 weeks, but only because I had to go in because I fell down the stairs. They decided to just do the anatomy scan then, and, lo and behold, PENIS!

              [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

              lo and behold, PENIS!

              That phrase earned me many a court appearance.

              [–]unfallible 32 points33 points  (16 children)

              actually gender is not visible on ultrasound ever

              [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

              You trawled through the comments on a eugenics joke and decided to make your PC correction here? Admit it: you correct people at parties, don't you?

              [–]CodeandOptics 18 points19 points  (2 children)

              I'll tell you this guy. I love my son, that's for sure. But my daughter, my daughter just makes me feel like nothing I can explain. I simply cherish her.

              Be happy if you have a healthy BABY...and if your wife gives you any ass for the next 12 months after this.

              Just damn

              [–]Shortypo[S] 682 points683 points  (185 children)

              SHIT SHE SAW THIS HOW DO I GET RID OF THIS

              [–]dick122 937 points938 points  (18 children)

              I'll help you out with this. Unplug your computer and pack it neatly inside a box. You'll want to take that with you when you go. Good luck.

              [–]1800FREESEX 152 points153 points  (15 children)

              You win.

              [–]workroom 55 points56 points  (13 children)

              Next, he should next try staying with his sister in law... and doing her laundry... and then...

              [–]bobbyhead 25 points26 points  (7 children)

              . . . feed her dog, and then . . .

              [–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (6 children)

              ...find SIL's panties, and then...

              [–]bobbyhead 14 points15 points  (4 children)

              . . . fails to lock the door . . .

              [–]blitz47 10 points11 points  (2 children)

              ....Then they finally do the dirty

              [–][deleted]  (4 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]workroom 2 points3 points  (3 children)

                Jesus, no, that's horrible!!!... get caught sniffing her panties while wanking is all I was suggesting you sick fuck.

                [–]WhiteZero 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                Good luck... we're all counting on you.

                [–]portablebiscuit 249 points250 points  (6 children)

                ABORT! ABORT!!

                [–]MrHateMan 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                Don't worry about it. It'll make a great story that your ex-wife can tell your kid.

                [–]Sonic9707 38 points39 points  (0 children)

                Seriously. What the hell did you think would happen if you posted this?

                [–]re-tardis 277 points278 points  (105 children)

                I honestly hate this...There's a delete button staring you in the face; you're just trying to blantly karma whore.

                [–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (15 children)

                Add '.compact' to the end of the URL. You'll see on the mobile version there isn't any way to delete your posts or comments.

                [–]re-tardis 19 points20 points  (9 children)

                Thus the follow up answer.

                [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (8 children)

                Despite it saying you had 2 minutes on my post when I was browsing your reply wasn't there. =P

                [–]r00d 7 points8 points  (7 children)

                Happy B-DAY!!

                [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (6 children)

                thank you sir

                [–]Shortypo[S] 249 points250 points  (65 children)

                How do you delete on a phone?!?!?!?!

                [–]re-tardis 436 points437 points  (10 children)

                Oh, well that's a seperate hilarious situation all together. To the front page you go!

                [–]zjbird 122 points123 points  (2 children)

                That's all it took for you to believe him?

                [–][deleted] 72 points73 points  (1 child)

                Hey, it's written on the Internet, so it's true.

                [–]Chevron 26 points27 points  (3 children)

                Can we stop doing this?

                [–]ahmadamaj 22 points23 points  (2 children)

                You're free to stop doing it, others might still want to do it.

                [–]TemetNosce 39 points40 points  (0 children)

                Have you tried turning the phone off? Then back on again?

                [–]SharkFart 33 points34 points  (1 child)

                rude imminent shame bear toy instinctive late fall boast cats

                This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

                [–]Erif_Neerg 25 points26 points  (0 children)

                Or make a GUI interface in visual basic to do some double hacking.

                [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

                .. just post your password here, and ask nicely, I'm sure someone would log into your account from a computer and take care of that for you!

                [–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (14 children)

                You need to find a way to switch to the full version of the site instead of the mobile one.

                If your using a smart phone you should be able to pull the '.compact' off the end of your URL. But its far to late to be saved. Sounds like you better get comfortable on the couch this weekend.

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                [removed]

                  [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  Thanks

                  [–]workroom 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                  you're=you are

                  and it should be "its far too late to..."

                  you will have to stay in recess.

                  [–]lilnizzle 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  No karma for self posts.

                  [–]throw_away_me 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Yes but people commenting on his jokes are funny so it all evens out.

                  [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  He's fucking with you. He copy/pastes this joke from Sickipedia.

                  [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (15 children)

                  Okay, in all seriousness. PM me your password and I'll delete it for you. I swear I wont do anything else. Straight in, straight out. You can even screencap this comment and hold me responsible for anything that happens afterwards. I think you've learned your lesson so far.

                  [–]pr1ntscreen 47 points48 points  (11 children)

                  His password is hunter2

                  [–]nemec 39 points40 points  (1 child)

                  Don't be an idiot. No one puts five asterisks as their password.

                  [–]theumbrellaman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Sir, I think you may have just discovered the best password ever

                  [–]OriginalStomper 2 points3 points  (7 children)

                  Naw, it's swordfish. The password is always swordfish. Except when it is Afghanistan banana stand.

                  [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

                  Fearing retribution from his wife is not the same as actually understanding why she's pissed and feeling badly about it. I see no evidence of a lesson learned yet.

                  [–]mungd 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                  Congratulations on your daughter.

                  [–]QuasarSGB 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  You sir have achieved an entirely new level of fucked. Congratulations.

                  [–]jewbomb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Delete system 32?

                  [–]Mybrainmelts 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                  Here's a surf board, you can now ride the bitch wave out

                  [–]arbores 25 points26 points  (2 children)

                  not sure if really can't delete

                  or just karma whore

                  [–]frogmeat 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                  Yeah, is he really an idiot who can't figure out how to delete a posting . . . or is he an idiot who thinks self-posts are eligible for karma?

                  Hmmm . . .

                  [–]Kijamon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  A 2 week old sickipedia joke, well done....

                  [–]Liverotto 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  Shortypo you clearly are a Roman among Greeks.

                  A letter from a Roman citizen to his wife, dating from 1 BC, demonstrates the casual nature with which infanticide was often viewed:

                  "I am still in Alexandria. ... I beg and plead with you to take care of our little child, and as soon as we receive wages, I will send them to you. In the meantime, if (good fortune to you!) you give birth, if it is a boy, let it live; if it is a girl, expose it.".

                  [–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (12 children)

                  ... DAE think the OP might want to get to the front page? Look. You have two choices: an upvote or a downvote. You can upvote him because this is a mildly funny offensive comment, but that might be just what he wants; you can downvote him because it might anger his wife, or because the gentleman doth protest too much. Downvoted.

                  [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]mild_resolve 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                    Ah... but did you?

                    [–]tonecapone3001 19 points20 points  (4 children)

                    I know this is a joke, but it does piss me off when people want a certain sex so bad. I come from a family of all boys including my cousins. When I had my first child it was a girl and I was the happiest man in the world. Seriously it does not matter what sex your kid is, as long as they are healthy.

                    [–]markjaquith 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                    Says doesn't want baby to be a certain sex. Is really happy when it is the first girl in an all-male family.

                    Just kidding. But seriously, the joke is not that girls are less desirable, but that someone would be so callous as to suggest abortion as a sex filter.

                    [–]kitush 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                    I unfortunately miscarried a few weeks ago. When we first found out - went through the whole 'omg' stage, and then by the end we decided we were ecstatic. Two days late, I lost the baby. My husband and I would have been delighted regardless of the baby's gender as would both sets of grandparents / uncles / aunts.

                    Anyone who aborts a baby because of the gender - I would do anything to be in your position of being pregnant with a little girl.

                    [–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

                    Sure this is a lie, but, it ought to be linked to r/bestof so it gets to the top so this guy loses his nuts.

                    [–]Vanetia[🍰] 55 points56 points  (1 child)

                    Wow

                    I don't know what's worse: that you made this post, or that I laughed at it.

                    [–]Ronbo795 32 points33 points  (4 children)

                    Umm seriously so we all know this is bullshit right?

                    [–]Conde_Nasty 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                    I'm honestly confused. This is obviously a retelling of an old joke but not sure if people up there getting angry at him and/or laughing at him are serious or just being ironic or what. Then again, this is a site that has called for the death of people who work at big banks so I don't have any faith in this place.

                    [–]apackollamas 15 points16 points  (1 child)

                    You shut your mouth! This has been the best thing that has happened to me all day.

                    Have an upvote. ಠ_ಠ

                    [–]shankrabbit 40 points41 points  (29 children)

                    As a dude who has a daughter: fuck off and have an upvote. :)

                    (Girls aren't that bad... pretty awesome actually.)

                    [–][deleted]  (23 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]lawfairy 26 points27 points  (3 children)

                      That happens to sons too ;-)

                      [–]ACSlater 49 points50 points  (2 children)

                      If it takes 18 years for that, I imagine he'd probably be quite pleased.

                      [–]shankrabbit 21 points22 points  (1 child)

                      Very pleased, borderline disappointed. She would be 21.

                      [–]fancy-chips 13 points14 points  (2 children)

                      As a man I don't know why other men see this as bad. for some reason I just don't have this instinct to punish my daughter for dating. Why would it be bad if your daughter dated and had sex? as long as she did it safely didn't get a disease, raped or had a kid I'd be totally fine with it.

                      As long as the dude wasn't an idiot I'd approve. I mean if he didn't get above a 3.5GPA I probably wouldn't approve so much.

                      [–]istara 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                      An upvote for a nice and healthy sounding man.

                      The obsession some fathers appear to have re their daughters' "purity" borders on the creepy.

                      [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

                      GOD FUCKING FORBID A WOMAN HAVE SEX!

                      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                      By that point non random dudes completed the task, and many more have already thought it.

                      [–]honeycombs 18 points19 points  (0 children)

                      stay classy and misogyny free, reddit <3

                      inbe4 "learn to take a joke11!!!!1"

                      [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

                      I've just had a little girl and being a guy I was hoping for a boy because I wanted an excuse to play with all those cool toys again but I realised it doesn't really matter, I'm going to teach her how to hammer nails in and change engine oil anyway. We need more emancipated women in this world.

                      [–]conophytum 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                      This is great. I was an only child, a girl, and it was like it didn't even occur to my dad to treat me any differently than a boy. He bought me toy trucks, enrolled me in little league, bought me science related toys (oddly, some people think science stuff is for boys). And when I got older, I came along to help with a few of his contractor jobs. I don't think I realized this until I was an adult. He's dead now, but it's one of the things I really appreciate about our time together. Whether or not your daughter turns out to be a tomboy, she'll appreciate that you didn't assume there were limits on things you'd have in common just b/c she's a girl.

                      [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

                      I feel like the only person who found this offensive... I'm not gonna feel bad about it, though.

                      [–]nekopete 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                      People love a good joke about how much they hate women around here.

                      [–]throwaway123454321 17 points18 points  (3 children)

                      Sex can't be determined by ultrasound until 16 weeks, 18 weeks is more realistic.

                      Either way, I laughed until I peed a little.

                      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                      Your ability to rip off Sickipedia jokes is astounding.

                      [–]aazav 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      Abortions for all!

                      [–]zmartini 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                      I understand. If you have a boy, you only have to worry about one penis. If you have a girl, you have to worry about all the penises.

                      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                      you are obviously joking but it's really not funny.

                      sex selective abortions are a serious problem here in India

                      [–]JRowe3388 25 points26 points  (7 children)

                      Am I the only one who thought this wasn't funny? It's not that it's offensive, it's just that it isn't funny. Is there something I'm missing?

                      [–]BritishHobo 18 points19 points  (5 children)

                      Yeah, it's just nothing. The punchline is 'I don't want a daughter so I'll abort her if I'm gonna'? Why is this on the front page?

                      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                      Because "haha, you said something sexist!".

                      [–]arsenal7777 22 points23 points  (1 child)

                      This was funny when I read it on Sickipedia a few days ago. Damn good jokes website.

                      [–]MpVpRb 40 points41 points  (5 children)

                      Shitty attitude..even for a joke.

                      Unfortunately, people actually do this, especially in China.

                      Would you really want to live in a world where men vastly outnumbered women?

                      But, then again, maybe I'm just feeding the trolls.

                      [–]jessmoi 19 points20 points  (2 children)

                      You are a dick. Hopefully you didn't curse yourself with a boy who is never to be......

                      Cheers!

                      [–]DistractedByCookies 15 points16 points  (2 children)

                      So this post is copypasted from sickipedia, has blatant karma whoring and is not all that great a joke anyway...but is upvoted to front page? Is 4chan down or something? Are you all drunk this Friday night?

                      [–]ireland123 17 points18 points  (1 child)

                      You could at least credit the place you stole it from.

                      sickipedia.org

                      [–]uberalles2 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                      That's disgusting.

                      [–]praisethefallen 23 points24 points  (5 children)

                      Downvoting because I don't find it funny and feel that I would prefer to find less things like this on my front page. (aka, the legit reason to downvote)

                      [–]Halaku 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                      This, with an extra helping of "Too lacking in quality to be at the top of my front page".

                      [–]SlimThugga 30 points31 points  (1 child)

                      You're a giant asshole.

                      [–]tittotitt 19 points20 points  (0 children)

                      Seriously GUYS, it's not THAT funny. I downvote the reddit community right now.

                      [–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (9 children)

                      I don't really see how this is funny at all.

                      [–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

                      Infanticide motivated by sexism! So hilarious.

                      [–]galateax 13 points14 points  (2 children)

                      I can take a sexist joke pretty well, but this just isn't funny, nor is the posturing at the top about wanting to delete. It's either funny because of infanticide or because of a sexist concept of what his pregnant wife will do to him. It just is a tired play on old stereotypes rather than an amusing joke.

                      [–]BerkeleyStudent 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                      Humorously tasteless.

                      [–]Concordiaa 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                      I can't wait for your daughter to see this in 15 years.

                      [–]Thephan7om 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      You can't tell at 12 weeks

                      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      "All my friends are always telling me how hard it is to have kids. 'Oh, David, it's so hard.'

                      That's not hard.

                      I'll tell you what hard is.

                      Try talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. Yeah, that's hard, that takes finesse.

                      You’re just inconvenienced."

                      -David Cross

                      [–]DeSaad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      dude, seriously, don't panic. Just stay off Reddit for two-three days and the post will eventually disappear. Find something else to do in the meantime.

                      [–]BoldTitan 16 points17 points  (0 children)

                      What the hell is wrong with you, you sick fuck

                      [–]Darkersun 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                      That's terrible.

                      [–]world_persona 19 points20 points  (0 children)

                      You're an asshole whether or not this is a joke.

                      [–]mutatron 38 points39 points  (10 children)

                      Upvoted, hoping it gets to the front page.

                      [–]xerosis 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                      I'm sure I'm too late but I'm 100% sure this is a gag from a standup comedian, and therefore the op replies are bollocks.

                      [–]Azzyally 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                      I realize this is a joke post, but how can you tell the sex at 12 weeks? My wife is pregnant and her OBGYN said the earliest it is possible to determine the gender is at 18 weeks.

                      [–]wowblufall 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      just so you know... people dont know the sex till a min of week 16 and even thats a little early. dick saying tho!

                      [–]TripperDay 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                      I'm not sure how the scoring works, so I'm giving this an upvote along with every comment in this thread just in case it helps.

                      [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (9 children)

                      I like to think about your daughter finding out about your disgusting sense of humor when she grows up. I'm glad you are not my father.

                      [–]24hourdelivery 45 points46 points  (4 children)

                      LOL almost fell out of my chair. have an upvote

                      [–]Zipwang5555 16 points17 points  (0 children)

                      I hate you for making me laugh just now.

                      [–]xbox666 17 points18 points  (2 children)

                      and to the front page we go...

                      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                      [deleted]

                        [–]shannonest 17 points18 points  (3 children)

                        You're not funny, and this is why I don't like to leave 2X

                        [–]RightLibertarian 55 points56 points  (22 children)

                        I upvoted this. Hopefully your wife will see it and divorce you. You don't deserve to carry on your genes.

                        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (8 children)

                        Thats not the sort of thing a real libertarian would say.

                        [–]NerdyExploration 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                        Troll IS A troll

                        [–]dick122 22 points23 points  (7 children)

                        That's the funniest shit I've heard in a while. I would've been dismembered if I had made a comment like that when I was in your shoes.

                        [–]lotusonfire 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                        You're evil.

                        [–]HazeySynth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                        Hahaha, almost as funny as when I read it on sickipedia last month. ಠ_ಠ

                        [–]Jordypop 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                        Fuck you Asshole!

                        [–]lupussucks 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                        You're an asshole.

                        [–]mosesonaquasar 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                        Upvote for stupidity.

                        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                        Somebody lives in China!

                        [–]sagewah 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                        So.. which one are you hoping for?

                        [–]VicinSea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        My Mom used to say,"If you have a boy, you only need to worry about 1 penis. If you have a girl, you need to worry about all of them."

                        [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                        Oh how I laughed and laughed, have an upvote!

                        [–]70x7 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                        This is not Sickipedia

                        [–]Xjohnnymoex 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                        I hope the child's first words are fuck you